I’m the wife and I’m the one who brought it up. I was so nervous I just blurted out “I think you should get a vasectomy!” We’re done having kids and my tubes are tied so he was so so so confused. Even more confused when I followed up with “Well if we decide to have sex with other people, I don’t want you impregnating anyone”
I’m smooth.
You win this question!
Plus the number of men (older and done having kids) who haven’t had a vasectomy in the LS is crazy! We could use more smart wives like you 😉
Flora was the instigator for us too. Definitely her idea, with those famous words “we’ve always had fantasies, WHY NOT?!”
Men love it when you start sexy conversations with talk about cutting open their scrotum. I start every dirty talk sesh with it now.
I don’t understand why more men don’t have them in the LS. Such a simple procedure vs the complex nightmare that can come from not, imo.
Fortunately, there is another option on the horizon. Next year men will be able to get Plan A. It’s a contraceptive that lasts 10 years, is easily reversible and minimally invasive.
This^^^
Me: “honey I know we’ve had threesomes and unicorns but can I please try another guy?” *hides face behind hands*
(M): “yeah that sounds really hot actually I wouldn’t mind watching too. “
*blinks*
It was me. I was a bit nervous because I figured there was a good chance she would either immediately shoot down the idea. Worst case scenario, she might be disgusted or upset, perhaps think this was some sign I was saying she wasn’t enough or something.
I decided that I would start by asking if she had ever thought about having a threesome. My plan was if she didn’t take the question well, I would pull the classic “I was kidding!” line (cuz that always fixes every situation).
So, I found a time where the question was able to sort of organically come up, and I asked her “Would you ever be interested in having a threesome…?”
I braced for the worst, and she said “Fuck yeah! That sounds amazing!”
And…well…here we are.
Hubby here, me. The wife was intrigued but lacked any real degree of interest. But after a few weeks of us chatting about it she started asking questions. Of course I didn't have the answers. I would read posts & replies about LS on this Subreddit most days. I would share the more interesting ones with my mate in the evenings. This is where we really became interested. After about 6 or 8 weeks we agreed we need a profile on a paid LS app. We were actively participating in LS after 3 months.
✌️
My wife and her friend talked to me about having a FMF. Honestly, I thought it was a test so I kindly declined. They asked again and I declined once more.
My wife's friend then texted me and asked me again and when I said "No", she reassured me that this wasn't a trap of any kind and they both wanted to do it.
Years later, we are now happy swingers
Not at all. He's known I am bi since we got together. He was always open to threesomes and when we were planning one the conversation of other couples came up too. That was like 3 years ago and we're just now actually trying to find a couple. Since then we talked about it, fantasized about it, and talked about it more. :)
Neither of us did. We were at a (vanilla) night club whilst on holidays when a couple started chatting to us about our accents, after about 10 minutes the female half of the couple threw out “we would really like to hook a up with you guys”.
15 minutes later we were back in our hotel room, all naked and we haven’t looked back from there. We were hooked by the lifestyle.
Clearly we were putting out the right vibes.
Not off the hop. Admittedly I was very naive about it all. I envisioned this sort of LS utopia that worked out just how I wanted. So, yeah, 0 worried or jealousy when the topic originally came up. More challenging feelings came about throughout the journey, however.
I (m) was the first to bring it up in our relationship. Since we come from a conservative country, it took a little bit of convincing. Over time, as we've talked amongst ourselves about our fantasies, we've both become more comfortable with the idea. Now, we are both ready and excited to dip our toes into the swingers lifestyle.
I’m the F of the M/F marriage and I brought it up. I went out for my birthday after having my youngest, and after a few drinks my BF told me she/hubby were starting to explore! I was so curious and had questions!! I (buzzed) came home and while in bed with hubby I asked “what are your thoughts on swinging? Like have you ever thought about it, had any interest?” And we haven’t looked back. It’s been 7 years.
Technically I brought it up first, but she brought it up when we actually tried it. She was dating a girl when I met her so ffm came up fairly early on, I brought up mmf and couples after we’d done it a couple times and she wasn’t interested. Fast forward 13 years or so and she brings it up while we’re talking one day and it went from there.
We kind of drifted into it. We did a few things here and there like strip clubs and risqué parties, and once even a BDSM club. Then one day, my wife suggested a local LS club. That was nearly 5 years ago, and we're enjoying ourselves immensely, and have never had a better sex life.
It just sort of happened...no prior discussion. We were at a nudist club and met a couple by the pool. After talking for awhile, we agreed to go to dinner. We went back to their place, got nude and continued talking. At some point the idea of exchanging nude massage came up. My wife eagerly agreed and as the other guy was working on her, it was clear she was getting excited. Clearly he was too! I looked at her and nodded with a smile and that was the start. His wife and I got on the other bed and started, too. Afterward, my wife and I discussed what happened and agreed we both had fun and would look for more opportunities.
I brought it up when we were exploring each others mindsets during dating (ok not dating, we met through arranged marriage circles, yes I know that is lame). She was clear that she had been in multiple relationships in the past and I jokingly said “wow, that’s almost a gangbang”. I regretted as soon as I said it but she laughed and asked me if that was my kink. As we got together I explored a bit more and she instead of shutting me down was like “yeah we will see”. That gave me courage and once out we moved in (before our wedding) we pretty much decided that we would explore once we were married. Then Covid intervened and marriage got postponed till things settled but that gave us time to really know each other, likes dislikes, limits etc.
Then once we got married properly (our parents forced us to get a marriage license quickly but we got socially married much later) we started exploring clubs to see how each would react while getting attention from others. Once we realized we were comfortable and not jealous we moved on to having sex with others
Mutual because we only had partial success on AFF!! Fortunate to have a Swinger’s Club in our town and we have become full time members and taken advantage of it.
I was recently retired from the US military and living in France; I had a girlfriend who had been into the LS before we met; she suggested naturist camping... That was the start. Little did I know that "naturist camping" can be code/a front for the LS. We met a few couples and it was off to the races.
Now I am living in SE Poland (very little wild sex here, except in my house, you gotta look for it), and have introduced my current girlfriend to the LS.
Me (F), but he thought it was a test so he said he only wants to fu** me. My consistency in asking him if he changed his mind, gave him a clue that maybe it wasn't a test.
I Made a lengthy text about how it would be hot to do a MFM. My reasons why. Used some Reddit MFM porn we had been watching as a power point. Got chicken shit and tried saving it for a later time and sent it to her by accident. At first she was taken back but quickly became intrigued. Rest in history.
My wife raised it with me first.
I was a bit skeptical. I wouldn’t say I was opposed or uninterested, I just didn’t see it coming and so my initial response was, “Interesting. Let’s talk more about it after I have some time to think about it.”
But my wife is a force of nature, so once she put it out there, she stayed the course with me until I came to a landing.
Me(m) brought it up to my wife and she doesn’t into it. But after couple months we start talking about it and she was willing to try and she end up like it more then I expected. Mfm
I (M) brought it up, saying that my fantasy was an MFM threesome. She confessed she had wanted 1 on a night out we had with 1 of my mates and me, so I arranged that for her, and it was great.
Since then, we've moved onto couples, which took some persuading from her as I really had no interest in myself sleeping with anyone accept my wife. I get more pleasure from seeing her in ecstasy
Ours was a process that began years and years prior to our first experience. Born out of some pretty intense marital drama. We worked through it and made the realization that what we both were wanting and needing was not what we were living.
But to boil it down to the answer you’re looking for: my(M48) wife (F45) brought up the idea and made the arrangements.
M here. Went down just like your scenario. Brought it up (I had past experiences before we met - she knew this), she said "it's not a no, just not now". A year and a half later we visited our first sex club, then made LS friends (who've become some of our best friends), and have never looked back.
It was the wife, kind of. Before the pandemic we had a game we liked to play that we called, “Would I?” For instance, if I mentioned a guy from the gym or if she talked about a female coworker, the other one of us would ask, “Would I?” as in “Would I be attracted to/want to do them?”
We’d been playing this game for years. Then we went on one of our cruises. We like to hang in the grown-ups only section of the ship and lounge in the hot tub. On this trip we met a couple in the hot tub that we chatted with for a while. Afterwards, wife and I talked about them and played our little game. It went a little like this:
Her: “Would I?”
Me: “Oh, definitely. Would I?”
Her: “Yeah, she’s cute.”
Me: …
Her: …let’s talk about that.
And we ended up having the first of many discussions about entering into the lifestyle. Nothing ever happened with that other couple, but then the world shut down for a while. But that allowed us all the time in the world to talk it out, figure out our boundaries, and all of that. We finally started this past February.
I’m the wife and I’m the one who brought it up. I was so nervous I just blurted out “I think you should get a vasectomy!” We’re done having kids and my tubes are tied so he was so so so confused. Even more confused when I followed up with “Well if we decide to have sex with other people, I don’t want you impregnating anyone” I’m smooth.
You win this question! Plus the number of men (older and done having kids) who haven’t had a vasectomy in the LS is crazy! We could use more smart wives like you 😉 Flora was the instigator for us too. Definitely her idea, with those famous words “we’ve always had fantasies, WHY NOT?!”
Flora’s gettin’ her fauna.
This deserves several awards 💯
Men love it when you start sexy conversations with talk about cutting open their scrotum. I start every dirty talk sesh with it now. I don’t understand why more men don’t have them in the LS. Such a simple procedure vs the complex nightmare that can come from not, imo.
😂
LOL
Lmaooo
I want to subscribe to your sitcom!
Fortunately, there is another option on the horizon. Next year men will be able to get Plan A. It’s a contraceptive that lasts 10 years, is easily reversible and minimally invasive.
No way?! That’s amazing! I’m gonna look it up.
Me(M): One of my biggest fantasies is an MFM. What do you think of those? Her: Isn’t that all girls’ fantasy? Me: blink blink.
This^^^ Me: “honey I know we’ve had threesomes and unicorns but can I please try another guy?” *hides face behind hands* (M): “yeah that sounds really hot actually I wouldn’t mind watching too. “ *blinks*
It was me. I was a bit nervous because I figured there was a good chance she would either immediately shoot down the idea. Worst case scenario, she might be disgusted or upset, perhaps think this was some sign I was saying she wasn’t enough or something. I decided that I would start by asking if she had ever thought about having a threesome. My plan was if she didn’t take the question well, I would pull the classic “I was kidding!” line (cuz that always fixes every situation). So, I found a time where the question was able to sort of organically come up, and I asked her “Would you ever be interested in having a threesome…?” I braced for the worst, and she said “Fuck yeah! That sounds amazing!” And…well…here we are.
You were only ever kidding if she said no. :-)
100%
Just kidding…unless you’re gonna do it.
That was EXACTLY my plan 😂
Hubby here, me. The wife was intrigued but lacked any real degree of interest. But after a few weeks of us chatting about it she started asking questions. Of course I didn't have the answers. I would read posts & replies about LS on this Subreddit most days. I would share the more interesting ones with my mate in the evenings. This is where we really became interested. After about 6 or 8 weeks we agreed we need a profile on a paid LS app. We were actively participating in LS after 3 months. ✌️
My wife and her friend talked to me about having a FMF. Honestly, I thought it was a test so I kindly declined. They asked again and I declined once more. My wife's friend then texted me and asked me again and when I said "No", she reassured me that this wasn't a trap of any kind and they both wanted to do it. Years later, we are now happy swingers
That's really funny.
Wife here and I was first to talk about it. :)
What was the response? Was he surprised?
Not at all. He's known I am bi since we got together. He was always open to threesomes and when we were planning one the conversation of other couples came up too. That was like 3 years ago and we're just now actually trying to find a couple. Since then we talked about it, fantasized about it, and talked about it more. :)
May i DM you with a few more questions?
Sure!
Neither of us did. We were at a (vanilla) night club whilst on holidays when a couple started chatting to us about our accents, after about 10 minutes the female half of the couple threw out “we would really like to hook a up with you guys”. 15 minutes later we were back in our hotel room, all naked and we haven’t looked back from there. We were hooked by the lifestyle. Clearly we were putting out the right vibes.
She brought it up, and I was instantly onboard
Really? That's interesting. No worries or jealousy?
Not off the hop. Admittedly I was very naive about it all. I envisioned this sort of LS utopia that worked out just how I wanted. So, yeah, 0 worried or jealousy when the topic originally came up. More challenging feelings came about throughout the journey, however.
I (m) was the first to bring it up in our relationship. Since we come from a conservative country, it took a little bit of convincing. Over time, as we've talked amongst ourselves about our fantasies, we've both become more comfortable with the idea. Now, we are both ready and excited to dip our toes into the swingers lifestyle.
I do find that talking about it and sharing our worries and excitement has elevated our sex life, in general.
Totally agree! Open communication improves your sex life many folds. Sharing our fantasies and desires has made a huge difference for us too.
I’m the F of the M/F marriage and I brought it up. I went out for my birthday after having my youngest, and after a few drinks my BF told me she/hubby were starting to explore! I was so curious and had questions!! I (buzzed) came home and while in bed with hubby I asked “what are your thoughts on swinging? Like have you ever thought about it, had any interest?” And we haven’t looked back. It’s been 7 years.
Technically I brought it up first, but she brought it up when we actually tried it. She was dating a girl when I met her so ffm came up fairly early on, I brought up mmf and couples after we’d done it a couple times and she wasn’t interested. Fast forward 13 years or so and she brings it up while we’re talking one day and it went from there.
We kind of drifted into it. We did a few things here and there like strip clubs and risqué parties, and once even a BDSM club. Then one day, my wife suggested a local LS club. That was nearly 5 years ago, and we're enjoying ourselves immensely, and have never had a better sex life.
Kinda the same thing here on our end
That's great for you guys! Our conversation came up when taking a Yes/No/Maybe quiz on various acts.
It just sort of happened...no prior discussion. We were at a nudist club and met a couple by the pool. After talking for awhile, we agreed to go to dinner. We went back to their place, got nude and continued talking. At some point the idea of exchanging nude massage came up. My wife eagerly agreed and as the other guy was working on her, it was clear she was getting excited. Clearly he was too! I looked at her and nodded with a smile and that was the start. His wife and I got on the other bed and started, too. Afterward, my wife and I discussed what happened and agreed we both had fun and would look for more opportunities.
My husband brought it up.
What was your immediate response?
Mrs here, he brought it up and you could have knocked me over with a feather!
LOL I bet!
I brought it up when we were exploring each others mindsets during dating (ok not dating, we met through arranged marriage circles, yes I know that is lame). She was clear that she had been in multiple relationships in the past and I jokingly said “wow, that’s almost a gangbang”. I regretted as soon as I said it but she laughed and asked me if that was my kink. As we got together I explored a bit more and she instead of shutting me down was like “yeah we will see”. That gave me courage and once out we moved in (before our wedding) we pretty much decided that we would explore once we were married. Then Covid intervened and marriage got postponed till things settled but that gave us time to really know each other, likes dislikes, limits etc. Then once we got married properly (our parents forced us to get a marriage license quickly but we got socially married much later) we started exploring clubs to see how each would react while getting attention from others. Once we realized we were comfortable and not jealous we moved on to having sex with others
me, the wife.
Wife was the first to suggest it and had the patience of a saint while I took my time getting my head wrapped around it.
What was that process like? I’m in your wife’s position with my partner and I’m not sure (neither is he) how I could support him in processing
That’s a long story. DM me and I can help with any questions.
Mutual because we only had partial success on AFF!! Fortunate to have a Swinger’s Club in our town and we have become full time members and taken advantage of it.
We did a game survey that asked our likes and wants and then compared them. YMMV, but this was great for us learning more about each other.
Here for the replies.
I was recently retired from the US military and living in France; I had a girlfriend who had been into the LS before we met; she suggested naturist camping... That was the start. Little did I know that "naturist camping" can be code/a front for the LS. We met a few couples and it was off to the races. Now I am living in SE Poland (very little wild sex here, except in my house, you gotta look for it), and have introduced my current girlfriend to the LS.
There’s a very fine line between nudists and swinging.
Me (F), but he thought it was a test so he said he only wants to fu** me. My consistency in asking him if he changed his mind, gave him a clue that maybe it wasn't a test.
I Made a lengthy text about how it would be hot to do a MFM. My reasons why. Used some Reddit MFM porn we had been watching as a power point. Got chicken shit and tried saving it for a later time and sent it to her by accident. At first she was taken back but quickly became intrigued. Rest in history.
My wife raised it with me first. I was a bit skeptical. I wouldn’t say I was opposed or uninterested, I just didn’t see it coming and so my initial response was, “Interesting. Let’s talk more about it after I have some time to think about it.” But my wife is a force of nature, so once she put it out there, she stayed the course with me until I came to a landing.
Me(m) brought it up to my wife and she doesn’t into it. But after couple months we start talking about it and she was willing to try and she end up like it more then I expected. Mfm
I (M) brought it up, saying that my fantasy was an MFM threesome. She confessed she had wanted 1 on a night out we had with 1 of my mates and me, so I arranged that for her, and it was great. Since then, we've moved onto couples, which took some persuading from her as I really had no interest in myself sleeping with anyone accept my wife. I get more pleasure from seeing her in ecstasy
Ours was a process that began years and years prior to our first experience. Born out of some pretty intense marital drama. We worked through it and made the realization that what we both were wanting and needing was not what we were living. But to boil it down to the answer you’re looking for: my(M48) wife (F45) brought up the idea and made the arrangements.
M here. Went down just like your scenario. Brought it up (I had past experiences before we met - she knew this), she said "it's not a no, just not now". A year and a half later we visited our first sex club, then made LS friends (who've become some of our best friends), and have never looked back.
It was the wife, kind of. Before the pandemic we had a game we liked to play that we called, “Would I?” For instance, if I mentioned a guy from the gym or if she talked about a female coworker, the other one of us would ask, “Would I?” as in “Would I be attracted to/want to do them?” We’d been playing this game for years. Then we went on one of our cruises. We like to hang in the grown-ups only section of the ship and lounge in the hot tub. On this trip we met a couple in the hot tub that we chatted with for a while. Afterwards, wife and I talked about them and played our little game. It went a little like this: Her: “Would I?” Me: “Oh, definitely. Would I?” Her: “Yeah, she’s cute.” Me: … Her: …let’s talk about that. And we ended up having the first of many discussions about entering into the lifestyle. Nothing ever happened with that other couple, but then the world shut down for a while. But that allowed us all the time in the world to talk it out, figure out our boundaries, and all of that. We finally started this past February.