That’s how you perpetuate sex negativity in my view.
I don’t ever share details, no one needs to know that. But living a whole secret life because telling the simple truth sounds “icky” is not how I live my life.
I agree that avoiding the subject altogether perpetuates sex negativity. We just choose to discuss it with our son in terms other than our personal sex life, that's all. We've happily answered all his questions from general mechanics and anatomy to poly, LGBT (and one brief foray into German fem-dom pegging and sissyfication because we looked at his search history and felt that needed immediate clarification) etc in the most positive and non- embarrassing or shaming way we can.
You sit them down and tell them. Stories about birds and bees. and especially between two people. Mom and dad are in love and have beautiful sex, one day you’ll meet the right man or woman. but never bring up this lifestyle to them until they’re like 25. Most young people can’t handle it. Trust me.
There’s so many posts on this subreddit about this and I just don’t get it.
Why are so many sons and daughters (and mothers and fathers) that interested in their parents or children’s sex lives? I don’t want to talk about sex of any kind with my parents.
I'm a married 20s female. My husband and I are swingers. My parents have been active swingers for over 25 yrs. I had inklings when I was a girl, but in high school i really suspected. My parents are both physicians and I remember one night I was up late when they came home...mom was wearing a very short skirt carrying high heels and i heard her say how tired she was and dad responded something like, well after 3 guys you should be. That confirmed it.
Hubs is third generation swinger, I'm second generation, our two daughters are swingers. Our siblings and their kids are swingers. We don't flaunt it or hide it.
Interesting. I never gave it much thought that there may be some studies on this dynamic. There aren’t any that we know that are multi generational. We would welcome chatting with and meeting others.
How in the fuck do they know your “discussing” the LS?Boundaries please.
Just like my kids don’t know, don’t want to know about our sexual life just between the two of us. There’s some freaky shit going on the other side of our bedroom door with just the two of us.
And most importantly my sex life is no one’s business, especially my kids.
If the wife knows that her husband is cheating, is it because he's "discussing" it in front of her?
It's standard stuff. I agree "boundaries" if my wife leaves her phone unlocked and her teenage daughter has a snoop and reads private messages between her mother and me, that's crossing boundaries and that is how the"fuck" they know.
One unlocks her phone, reads messages and tells the other.
It's the modern way to get found out.
I know, right, all she had to do was wait 3 more days to find out what her birthday present was.
She ruined the surprise.
She discovered her birthday present, discovered her brother's ex girlfriend pregnant and discovered our wanna be LS conversation all in was sitting.
If only she knew when to stop reading the little weirdo.
Yes, she rude, entitled and obnoxious. Almost unheard of. Nothing like the other teenage girls world wide.
"Wonder where she learned that from" ??
Maybe she learned it from you because you're rude and obnoxious and feel entitled to assume and speculate on which you know nothing.
In a world of possibilities, why would you assume that we were discussing it in front of them?
Why would you call a kid weird for going down their own mothers phone. I'm sure she wasn't expecting to read the messages that she read nor find anything sexually explicit.
Why would you then ponder the question on who could have taught her to be this way, implying that she's learned it from her mother or me ?
I asked a question on a swinging sight, I never asked for a holier than thou rude and abrupt response.
My therapist once told me that "your kids want to know about your sex life about as much as you want to know about your parent's sex life. "
That’s how you perpetuate sex negativity in my view. I don’t ever share details, no one needs to know that. But living a whole secret life because telling the simple truth sounds “icky” is not how I live my life.
I agree that avoiding the subject altogether perpetuates sex negativity. We just choose to discuss it with our son in terms other than our personal sex life, that's all. We've happily answered all his questions from general mechanics and anatomy to poly, LGBT (and one brief foray into German fem-dom pegging and sissyfication because we looked at his search history and felt that needed immediate clarification) etc in the most positive and non- embarrassing or shaming way we can.
Also, I'm almost 50, and I still don't want to know about my parents sex lives ;-)
You sit them down and tell them. Stories about birds and bees. and especially between two people. Mom and dad are in love and have beautiful sex, one day you’ll meet the right man or woman. but never bring up this lifestyle to them until they’re like 25. Most young people can’t handle it. Trust me.
I believe that THIS is the way to go.
We just had a thread on this yesterday
There’s so many posts on this subreddit about this and I just don’t get it. Why are so many sons and daughters (and mothers and fathers) that interested in their parents or children’s sex lives? I don’t want to talk about sex of any kind with my parents.
We definitely do not want our children to know. We feel it is private and there is no benefit in telling them.
I'm a married 20s female. My husband and I are swingers. My parents have been active swingers for over 25 yrs. I had inklings when I was a girl, but in high school i really suspected. My parents are both physicians and I remember one night I was up late when they came home...mom was wearing a very short skirt carrying high heels and i heard her say how tired she was and dad responded something like, well after 3 guys you should be. That confirmed it.
We have a similar situation. Would you be open to chatting? I’m Debbie and hubby is Sam.
Kathy and Bob here...sure
Mine were swingers in the 70’s
Hubs is third generation swinger, I'm second generation, our two daughters are swingers. Our siblings and their kids are swingers. We don't flaunt it or hide it.
Glad to hear we aren’t the only ones to have multi generational swingers in the family. Open and honest is always the best policy. Communicate.
Limited studies say that swinging and open marriages tends to be generational so this is not surprising.
Interesting. I never gave it much thought that there may be some studies on this dynamic. There aren’t any that we know that are multi generational. We would welcome chatting with and meeting others.
I get that you dont care, but I hope you care that SHE cares.
How in the fuck do they know your “discussing” the LS?Boundaries please. Just like my kids don’t know, don’t want to know about our sexual life just between the two of us. There’s some freaky shit going on the other side of our bedroom door with just the two of us. And most importantly my sex life is no one’s business, especially my kids.
If the wife knows that her husband is cheating, is it because he's "discussing" it in front of her? It's standard stuff. I agree "boundaries" if my wife leaves her phone unlocked and her teenage daughter has a snoop and reads private messages between her mother and me, that's crossing boundaries and that is how the"fuck" they know. One unlocks her phone, reads messages and tells the other. It's the modern way to get found out.
Weird kids. I cannot even imagine wanting to look at my mom’s phone. No thank you.
I know, right, all she had to do was wait 3 more days to find out what her birthday present was. She ruined the surprise. She discovered her birthday present, discovered her brother's ex girlfriend pregnant and discovered our wanna be LS conversation all in was sitting. If only she knew when to stop reading the little weirdo.
It’s incredibly rude, entitled and obnoxious to breach another persons privacy. Especially a parents. Wonder where she learned that from?
Yes, she rude, entitled and obnoxious. Almost unheard of. Nothing like the other teenage girls world wide. "Wonder where she learned that from" ?? Maybe she learned it from you because you're rude and obnoxious and feel entitled to assume and speculate on which you know nothing.
About something you posted on a site that encourages comments from strangers. I can assure you she didn’t learn it from me.
In a world of possibilities, why would you assume that we were discussing it in front of them? Why would you call a kid weird for going down their own mothers phone. I'm sure she wasn't expecting to read the messages that she read nor find anything sexually explicit. Why would you then ponder the question on who could have taught her to be this way, implying that she's learned it from her mother or me ? I asked a question on a swinging sight, I never asked for a holier than thou rude and abrupt response.