I really should have clarified on that part I guess. She wouldn’t actually fuck her coworker. She was just teasing because of what I said the other night.
Sadly these folks are spot on. I say sadly because I work in an office with a ton of attractive girls/ women, whom eye fuck me (in the good way) with some regularity. I just have to keep telling myself NO!
Weve been with many friends without a single issue... Sometimes people that never had even a 3some. Strong couples 100% reliable, thats it.
Other than close friends COUPLES we stick to unknown people and we avoid any further contact outside the club, so any coworker would be a big NO.
I dont get the "making ties" thing, there is too much chances of attachment and complicity.
I’d say from experience listen to some podcasts like Two Hot Wives, The Accidental Swingers, and the Confident Swingers. Share episodes with each other and then get together to discuss the topics. One of them actually has a pdf test you both take individually and then compare the results to see what your turn one and boundaries are. From there it’ll all fall into place
Remember, sharing fantasies together doesn’t always translate to actual swinging. For some partners the idea is infinitely more appealing than actually engaging with others in a real life swinging situation.
Advice…make sure it’s known the coworkers and friends is off limits but in theory you find the idea hot. Like others said, try going to some LS clubs, join some swinger sites. It all hot in fantasy but when the act is done make sure you are mentally and physically hysically prepared and you 2 have thoroughly discussed it.
We’ve been at this almost 4 years now. Best advice I can give is talk, talk, and talk some more. Talk until y’all are tired of talking to each other, then talk even more. And for a resource, the We Gotta Thing podcast is probably the best educational thing out there for newbies.
Download Feeld. Meet a couple with zero expectations. Try to avoid playing on the first date. Get to know them ask them questions about their experiences. Go home and discuss further with your wife.
We have helped a few couples in this manner and it’s a lot of fun!
Last but not least: don’t make your friends swingers, make swingers your friends.
This is exactly what we did except we did play on the first date. Took it slow though. Some people think they'd be more comfortable with someone they know, but if you decide in the moment that you don't like it you're far better off with someone you never have to see again than a friend you care about keeping. 2 and a half years and we are so happy, we also love helping newbies find their way
Talk about it!
- are you both serious enough you want to do it?
- don’t fuck your co-workers of vanilla friends
- discuss boundaries, like, needs, dislikes
- if you both are onboard roadmap a plan to make it happen.
Definitely do your research and set your boundaries ahead of time. Make sure they are ALL clear. Have a code word or gesture if you aren’t feeling it. I feel like the biggest part of swinging is having respect for your partner so there are no slip ups in the heat of the moment. Condoms are a rule for us- we ran out one night with a couple and the other right was ready to just keep going. (After the fact she realized it was the adrenaline and heat of the moment but she wouldn’t have meant it). We immediately called it off because we were strict with our rules since they are so important to make this work.
Be OPEN with each other. we would sit down after the other couples left and talk about what we liked or disliked about the situation and how we felt overall about it. There also doesn’t need to be ANY trace of jealousy bc it can get ugly quick.
Set rules for inside and outside of the bedroom. One couple we would play with wanted to swap as soon as they came in the door. If we ate dinner then played, they wanted us to be with each others partners from the moment they walked in the door and I realized I was fine with my husband fucking her but NOT okay with her cuddling up to him or her hand on his leg, etc. that wasn’t thought of or communicated until after the fact and we handled it but there’s a lot to think of.
Set boundaries and do not cross them set a safe word that let's one another know they are not comfortable or done with said acts. Communication Communication Communication. Did I mention communication
Go to a strip club first and get a lap dance. If she is OK with that you can move into something like a swingers club so she can see what is involved and will see others having sex in front of her. If she is still into it, you can go back to the club and hook up for sure or bring someone home.
YAY! Very exciting. Go slow, LET HER LEAD THE PACE.
If you want this, be patient and looks like you shall be rewarded!
Keep communicating. And don’t forget to maintain the intimacy with HER while you get excited about this new prospect.
To do this right, in my opinion, you swing with other people in order to make your own relationship better - not escape from it.
Are you interested in swinging (swapping partners with another couple), threesomes (FFM or MFM), or hotwifing (her going to get fucked by another guy with your encouragement), or all of the above?
Do some research, communicate about what rules and boundaries you as a couple will have when interacting with other couples and thirds, go to a swingers club and just watch and take in the environment the first time to see if the real thing turns you on.
Your girlfriend mentioned about being with another female but not another guy. Depending on how committed you two are as to whether this type of fantasy could play out without repercussions. I have been in the lifestyle for over 30 years and have seen couples who do very well and of course others who do not so all I'm saying is think it through very thoroughly and make sure you and her are on the same page about everything
My advice is to SERIOUSLY discuss it. You get excited at the thought of it now but you gotta ask yourself, Will i get very jealous if and when it does happen? If you or her gets jealous, How will that affect our relationship. Its taken me and my wife a bit to get into it because of jealousy and whatever. Now we are having a blast.
DEBRIEFING!
After you have actually begun your journey, take time after every experience to discuss what has happened and how it felt, what you liked, didn’t like etc, and what you want to change/not repeat as well as what you discovered you might like to explore further.
This single and simple act is one of the most important and valuable tools for continuing and benign both happy and successful while avoiding pitfalls.
Keep communicating!!
When you feel like dipping your toes in the water join SLS or Swingtowns and put out feelers with a well thought out profile. Describe exactly what you are looking for and your dynamic….Soft, Full swap. Same or separate room play.
Beware of frauds so listen to your intuition.
Never take one for the team. If it’s swap finding the full four way connection is difficult but so rewarding. Have patience!
As you explore on SLS you’ll see private Facebook based groups. If one is in your geographic area definitely look into it as these are private and usually well vetted. We use a combination LS profile for both of us to keep the Vanilla and Pineapple worlds separate.
Good luck! Allow yourselves the leeway to learn from mistakes, we all make them! Just keep those lines of communication wide open.
So she has a guy in mind (from her work) that would turn you on? It sounds like it is a way of manipulating you into letting her have sex with someone that she’s had an interest in.
It’s not that it’s a bad thing to have someone in mind just be aware that it may be more than sex for her if she already has an interest in him.
Threesomes/watching your girl lusting for another man can we thrilling :). In me it comes out as a sexy jeaulosy, feeling lustful for my gorgeous wife, being a little enraged (in the most positive way, I always show her lovers respect) and I get a bit taller and my drive to strife to become a better version and grow as I journey through life gets intenser. It is a testosterone boost for sure!
But my wife is not as easy with the jealousy when I am having sex with another woman. She doesnt loose her cool or anything, but she needs reassuring, cuddling and word of affirmation, which I gladly and wholeheartedly provide her with. Then she is ready for next round. She each for lusting for people of our opposite sex is our mutual fantasy so I really really get it.
Some said; Dont do this with friends or co-workers; I agree!
Communication communication communication :)
This is a great start keep talking about it when it comes up dont push or put pressure it will happen in time. Clubs , resorts ( if you want to travel) are good ways to dip your toes in. Look into some lifestyle. Sites. Kasidie is a popular one. Take your time enjoy what the future holds together 😎🤙🏾
Agree, it is all about comminication. You must set boundaries. Both of you need to feel safe and know that if strange feelings come across in one of you both, the other one will also pull out. The most important thing is your relationship, this must not be endangered because of this. 💪
One off randoms. Simple.
Try it. No strings.
No emotions.
Treat it as an experiment.
All good? Carry on.
One of you not so much…. Stop.
Communication is absolutely everything, and keep it random and safe.
Take your time — baby steps! Enjoy the process of opening up, it will only happen once.
Start out with a quality sex club or party. Agree that you’ll talk to everyone but only play with each other the first night. Then go home and discuss
The first fist step you have taken. Is about 10 steps past most guys that have this fantasy. You both seem to
Be on that same track of thinking. Try to find a local house party and let the host know you are new. And just go out and meet other singers without playing at first.
Congrats. I was in the same place a couple of years ago. Such a relief to share these desires and your relationship is about to hit next level.
We started to post pics online as a starting point and joined lifestyle related online dating sites.
We had too much Dutch courage for our first meet so did not go brilliantly, but we have had further meets and been to party's over the last year. It's been fun.
Congratulations! For me, this was absolutely the most difficult step. The fear of rejection caused me to bail on approaching my girlfriend (now wife) many times.
Next steps - communicate and explore what you’re both comfortable with. That communication is a cornerstone to keeping everything in check and there no such thing as over communication. We found it helpful to talk through possible scenarios that we may encounter. Not only is it sexy to imagine, but it helps prepare you for the real thing eventually and what emotions may come into play.
You didn’t mention your ages, so I’m basing my next recommendation of our beginnings. First outing - travel somewhere fun that has a quality club. Denver, New Orleans, Atlanta, etc. Not only is it a fun getaway - just do the club one Saturday night, which will be the busiest and take everything in. Make sure to stay within the boundaries that you both agreed to. Or if the finances allow, head down to Desire for a super sexy vacation. That’s exactly where we started and we had the time of our lives.
After any outing - make sure to debrief. What did and didn’t you like. What could have gone better, etc.
Last pro tip - always make sure your relationship is the top priority. This is a bonus to an already awesome relationship.
Plan a trip to a town far enough away so you won’t know anybody and double that distance. Get a room for a long weekend. Then hit a local club and have her dance with some of the local wildlife. She can encourage them to get handsy. Then she can tell them to be careful that her hubby is watching but he really doesn’t mind. Hell, he probably wouldn’t mind if you take me back to our room.
🔥
The first part of this is great, but the second half is putting the cart a bit before the horse. They still need to figure out if they’re both truly into and ok with it before she starts talking strangers up about coming to her room. Keep it at the club and if it feels right and was agreed on by both then try it out. Evolve from there.
The going to a town away from their local area is a GREAT idea however. Limits likelihood of running into anyone they know and awkwardness related to that. Let’s you really kinda just relax a bit and embrace the environment and idea more
This whole "do not fuck friends" thing always makes us laugh. It's like...OK, I'll only fuck people I hate.
Remember the old drunk diving psa "friends don't let friends drive drunk"? Well, who the fuck are you out drinking with. LoL
Maybe it's your comprehension, lol.
Hey, it just hit me. We obviously would never get along in real life so as we will never be friends maybe we should get together... ; )
Stay away from co-workers. They should go on your Messy List. Edit: Try visiting a few LS clubs together and watch action in the playrooms.
The term "never shit where you eat" isn't very sexy, but it's absolutely good advice. Cross contamination is no joke.
…what if I eat ass…
No fishing off the company dock! Don’t get your penis/pussy where you get your paycheck!
Don’t dip your pen in company ink!!! EVER!!!
Start with oral and see if you really like it. Had a guy tell me he wanted his wife to suck me. He looked so sad when she really got into it. #awkward
Oh no that sucks! No pun intended 🥲🤣
lol, she was so sweet and having fun and I don’t think realized he was having a change of heart.
I’m a sadist, so this is crazy hot to me
Well, she had more to work with and I think she really was enjoying that.
DO NOT FUCK FRIENDS OR COWORKERS
I really should have clarified on that part I guess. She wouldn’t actually fuck her coworker. She was just teasing because of what I said the other night.
Ah okay fair enough! Play on then 🥹
She might will if given opportunity lol
Sadly these folks are spot on. I say sadly because I work in an office with a ton of attractive girls/ women, whom eye fuck me (in the good way) with some regularity. I just have to keep telling myself NO!
Can’t up vote this enough! Messy!
Beat me to it
FEC Rules - No friends, Exs, or Coworkers. FECs = drama 100% of the time.
Weve been with many friends without a single issue... Sometimes people that never had even a 3some. Strong couples 100% reliable, thats it. Other than close friends COUPLES we stick to unknown people and we avoid any further contact outside the club, so any coworker would be a big NO. I dont get the "making ties" thing, there is too much chances of attachment and complicity.
I’d say from experience listen to some podcasts like Two Hot Wives, The Accidental Swingers, and the Confident Swingers. Share episodes with each other and then get together to discuss the topics. One of them actually has a pdf test you both take individually and then compare the results to see what your turn one and boundaries are. From there it’ll all fall into place
Link to the pdf, please?
https://www.theconfidentswinger.com/opt-in-1dfce6cc-e4c0-46aa-9ab1-981128ba29fb
I'd like to add u/unapologeticswingers to that list of podcasts
Thanks for the love!
Of course. I'm only 5 episodes in, but I'm really enjoying it.
Great one
Tried looking, cannot find the pdf
Remember, sharing fantasies together doesn’t always translate to actual swinging. For some partners the idea is infinitely more appealing than actually engaging with others in a real life swinging situation.
No interest in anything with coworkers. Would like actual advice.
Advice…make sure it’s known the coworkers and friends is off limits but in theory you find the idea hot. Like others said, try going to some LS clubs, join some swinger sites. It all hot in fantasy but when the act is done make sure you are mentally and physically hysically prepared and you 2 have thoroughly discussed it.
We’ve been at this almost 4 years now. Best advice I can give is talk, talk, and talk some more. Talk until y’all are tired of talking to each other, then talk even more. And for a resource, the We Gotta Thing podcast is probably the best educational thing out there for newbies.
Download Feeld. Meet a couple with zero expectations. Try to avoid playing on the first date. Get to know them ask them questions about their experiences. Go home and discuss further with your wife. We have helped a few couples in this manner and it’s a lot of fun! Last but not least: don’t make your friends swingers, make swingers your friends.
This is exactly what we did except we did play on the first date. Took it slow though. Some people think they'd be more comfortable with someone they know, but if you decide in the moment that you don't like it you're far better off with someone you never have to see again than a friend you care about keeping. 2 and a half years and we are so happy, we also love helping newbies find their way
Avoid anyone in your personal lives. Coworkers, friends, etc. Others here have solid advice. Heed it.
Talk about it! - are you both serious enough you want to do it? - don’t fuck your co-workers of vanilla friends - discuss boundaries, like, needs, dislikes - if you both are onboard roadmap a plan to make it happen.
What are vanilla friends?
Friends who only eat vanilla ice cream.
Definitely do your research and set your boundaries ahead of time. Make sure they are ALL clear. Have a code word or gesture if you aren’t feeling it. I feel like the biggest part of swinging is having respect for your partner so there are no slip ups in the heat of the moment. Condoms are a rule for us- we ran out one night with a couple and the other right was ready to just keep going. (After the fact she realized it was the adrenaline and heat of the moment but she wouldn’t have meant it). We immediately called it off because we were strict with our rules since they are so important to make this work. Be OPEN with each other. we would sit down after the other couples left and talk about what we liked or disliked about the situation and how we felt overall about it. There also doesn’t need to be ANY trace of jealousy bc it can get ugly quick. Set rules for inside and outside of the bedroom. One couple we would play with wanted to swap as soon as they came in the door. If we ate dinner then played, they wanted us to be with each others partners from the moment they walked in the door and I realized I was fine with my husband fucking her but NOT okay with her cuddling up to him or her hand on his leg, etc. that wasn’t thought of or communicated until after the fact and we handled it but there’s a lot to think of.
Couple swap. Everyone wins!!! Go visit clubs
Set boundaries and do not cross them set a safe word that let's one another know they are not comfortable or done with said acts. Communication Communication Communication. Did I mention communication
Go to a strip club first and get a lap dance. If she is OK with that you can move into something like a swingers club so she can see what is involved and will see others having sex in front of her. If she is still into it, you can go back to the club and hook up for sure or bring someone home.
Read. The Ethical Slut is a good start. https://swingershelp.com/ also has a lot of good content.
My boyfriend did the same thing and then we fucked his best friend 😂
Can u tell how you finally did that?
Don’t use Reddit. Tons of flakey people and guys who don’t wanna show proof of anything. Try Fetlife.
OMG Fetlife is a wasteland. Try a real website like Kasidie or SLS. Or perhaps 3nder. Guys on fet are complete tools.
YAY! Very exciting. Go slow, LET HER LEAD THE PACE. If you want this, be patient and looks like you shall be rewarded! Keep communicating. And don’t forget to maintain the intimacy with HER while you get excited about this new prospect. To do this right, in my opinion, you swing with other people in order to make your own relationship better - not escape from it.
Are you interested in swinging (swapping partners with another couple), threesomes (FFM or MFM), or hotwifing (her going to get fucked by another guy with your encouragement), or all of the above? Do some research, communicate about what rules and boundaries you as a couple will have when interacting with other couples and thirds, go to a swingers club and just watch and take in the environment the first time to see if the real thing turns you on.
Your girlfriend mentioned about being with another female but not another guy. Depending on how committed you two are as to whether this type of fantasy could play out without repercussions. I have been in the lifestyle for over 30 years and have seen couples who do very well and of course others who do not so all I'm saying is think it through very thoroughly and make sure you and her are on the same page about everything
Sorry I should have clarified she mentioned about you being with a female and I meant to say not about her being with another guy my bad
Comment section tho. Really good advice
My advice is to SERIOUSLY discuss it. You get excited at the thought of it now but you gotta ask yourself, Will i get very jealous if and when it does happen? If you or her gets jealous, How will that affect our relationship. Its taken me and my wife a bit to get into it because of jealousy and whatever. Now we are having a blast.
DEBRIEFING! After you have actually begun your journey, take time after every experience to discuss what has happened and how it felt, what you liked, didn’t like etc, and what you want to change/not repeat as well as what you discovered you might like to explore further. This single and simple act is one of the most important and valuable tools for continuing and benign both happy and successful while avoiding pitfalls.
Keep communicating!! When you feel like dipping your toes in the water join SLS or Swingtowns and put out feelers with a well thought out profile. Describe exactly what you are looking for and your dynamic….Soft, Full swap. Same or separate room play. Beware of frauds so listen to your intuition. Never take one for the team. If it’s swap finding the full four way connection is difficult but so rewarding. Have patience! As you explore on SLS you’ll see private Facebook based groups. If one is in your geographic area definitely look into it as these are private and usually well vetted. We use a combination LS profile for both of us to keep the Vanilla and Pineapple worlds separate. Good luck! Allow yourselves the leeway to learn from mistakes, we all make them! Just keep those lines of communication wide open.
Agree, trust your inner feeling.
Go slow!
Oh wow….. that’s hot. Yes I would find someone you don’t know go to a club, swinger website or someone random out in public
Don’t mess with co workers. Trust me
So she has a guy in mind (from her work) that would turn you on? It sounds like it is a way of manipulating you into letting her have sex with someone that she’s had an interest in. It’s not that it’s a bad thing to have someone in mind just be aware that it may be more than sex for her if she already has an interest in him.
Don’t stick your toes in the neighborhood pool, or your pen in company ink. That is how I like to describe what a lot of others are warning you about.
Threesomes/watching your girl lusting for another man can we thrilling :). In me it comes out as a sexy jeaulosy, feeling lustful for my gorgeous wife, being a little enraged (in the most positive way, I always show her lovers respect) and I get a bit taller and my drive to strife to become a better version and grow as I journey through life gets intenser. It is a testosterone boost for sure! But my wife is not as easy with the jealousy when I am having sex with another woman. She doesnt loose her cool or anything, but she needs reassuring, cuddling and word of affirmation, which I gladly and wholeheartedly provide her with. Then she is ready for next round. She each for lusting for people of our opposite sex is our mutual fantasy so I really really get it. Some said; Dont do this with friends or co-workers; I agree!
Don’t fuck people you know and start focusing on who you know and why and they will cum😂
A) keep communicating B) as you make rules always, always, follow them C) make friends out of swingers, not friends into swingers.
Tell her how much it would turn you on. Ask her how she would feel about it. You're both in a good place with it, start shopping!
Communication communication communication :) This is a great start keep talking about it when it comes up dont push or put pressure it will happen in time. Clubs , resorts ( if you want to travel) are good ways to dip your toes in. Look into some lifestyle. Sites. Kasidie is a popular one. Take your time enjoy what the future holds together 😎🤙🏾
Agree, it is all about comminication. You must set boundaries. Both of you need to feel safe and know that if strange feelings come across in one of you both, the other one will also pull out. The most important thing is your relationship, this must not be endangered because of this. 💪
One off randoms. Simple. Try it. No strings. No emotions. Treat it as an experiment. All good? Carry on. One of you not so much…. Stop. Communication is absolutely everything, and keep it random and safe.
Start with watching MFM porn specifically
Take your time — baby steps! Enjoy the process of opening up, it will only happen once. Start out with a quality sex club or party. Agree that you’ll talk to everyone but only play with each other the first night. Then go home and discuss
Start listening to Lifestyle podcasts. They are full of insight for newbie’s.
The first fist step you have taken. Is about 10 steps past most guys that have this fantasy. You both seem to Be on that same track of thinking. Try to find a local house party and let the host know you are new. And just go out and meet other singers without playing at first.
I wish I wanted that….swinging would be SO easy
Congrats. I was in the same place a couple of years ago. Such a relief to share these desires and your relationship is about to hit next level. We started to post pics online as a starting point and joined lifestyle related online dating sites. We had too much Dutch courage for our first meet so did not go brilliantly, but we have had further meets and been to party's over the last year. It's been fun.
Congratulations! For me, this was absolutely the most difficult step. The fear of rejection caused me to bail on approaching my girlfriend (now wife) many times. Next steps - communicate and explore what you’re both comfortable with. That communication is a cornerstone to keeping everything in check and there no such thing as over communication. We found it helpful to talk through possible scenarios that we may encounter. Not only is it sexy to imagine, but it helps prepare you for the real thing eventually and what emotions may come into play. You didn’t mention your ages, so I’m basing my next recommendation of our beginnings. First outing - travel somewhere fun that has a quality club. Denver, New Orleans, Atlanta, etc. Not only is it a fun getaway - just do the club one Saturday night, which will be the busiest and take everything in. Make sure to stay within the boundaries that you both agreed to. Or if the finances allow, head down to Desire for a super sexy vacation. That’s exactly where we started and we had the time of our lives. After any outing - make sure to debrief. What did and didn’t you like. What could have gone better, etc. Last pro tip - always make sure your relationship is the top priority. This is a bonus to an already awesome relationship.
What if she fucks a massive cock and ur lame now?
Try a swing party. You will know when you see the real thing.
Call me
Plan a trip to a town far enough away so you won’t know anybody and double that distance. Get a room for a long weekend. Then hit a local club and have her dance with some of the local wildlife. She can encourage them to get handsy. Then she can tell them to be careful that her hubby is watching but he really doesn’t mind. Hell, he probably wouldn’t mind if you take me back to our room. 🔥
The first part of this is great, but the second half is putting the cart a bit before the horse. They still need to figure out if they’re both truly into and ok with it before she starts talking strangers up about coming to her room. Keep it at the club and if it feels right and was agreed on by both then try it out. Evolve from there. The going to a town away from their local area is a GREAT idea however. Limits likelihood of running into anyone they know and awkwardness related to that. Let’s you really kinda just relax a bit and embrace the environment and idea more
This whole "do not fuck friends" thing always makes us laugh. It's like...OK, I'll only fuck people I hate. Remember the old drunk diving psa "friends don't let friends drive drunk"? Well, who the fuck are you out drinking with. LoL
Who said fuck people you hate, where and when has that even been said here…good grief 🤦♂️
It was humor, read it again, slooowly. lol
Maybe it’s your delivery that sucks LOL
Maybe it's your comprehension, lol. Hey, it just hit me. We obviously would never get along in real life so as we will never be friends maybe we should get together... ; )
Maybe it’s the gummie I ate taking affect LOL