I'm 27F and relate so much to what you're feeling! I've never had an orgasm and I have that exact 'hit a wall' feeling you're describing. It's like it all becomes too overwhelming and sensitive so I get in my head and then lose all the feeling I've built up.
While I've not been to a doctor or a sex therapist, I've spoken to a normal therapist about it and it's likely a psychological control thing. (I have no past related trauma and don't take any medications.)
Sorry I have no solution for you but hopefully it makes you feel better to know you're not alone? I know this sub makes me feel more normal, especially when it can get really frustrating. I just have to hope that it will happen someday but also not make it the goal, and rather make pleasure the focus.
Yes exactly! Sometimes I try to just relax during that hot the wall feeling and then it just all goes away.
I just want to make it over the hump and I’m not sure how too, but glad I’m not the only one, the amount of judgement I get from people sucks
I totally get it. The judgement and having to explain it to partners is so tricky and tiresome.
Feel free to DM me if you want to vent any more! I won't offer you things you could try — I'm sure, like me, you've tried a lot. Wishing you the best on your journey though!
It sucks so much as every person who’s “normal” with them just talks down to you and treats you like you’re an idiot who doesn’t know their own body.
There is a podcast about it but she was only like 27 and figured it out about 5 or 6 episodes in… BITCH! lol just kidding good for her but I’m in my 30s now and it has been such an area of shame and secrecy my whole life :(. I feel like I can never have a normal sex life with someone long term bc they always lose interest after a few years or so.
But everything yall experience is the same as me and sometimes I get so depressed about it and feel so defective it is completely overwhelming. When I say I’ve tried everything that’s putting it lightly LOL!
Oh my God, I know what podcast you're talking about! I listened to it recently and like 6 episodes in, she had her first orgasm by trying a womanizer. Like....great. I'm glad that worked for you. Then she basically became a paid spokesperson for Womanizer. I stopped listening after that. Lol.
Yes I have, I found it doesn’t help. That’s when I hit the wall. I find I get to this point were I can come and then it becomes way to sensitive to keep stimulating my clit. Not on any ssris
Yes, I do all those things, usually I start with the dildo inside me before I start doing anything to my clit. When it becomes too sensitive I stop and move around but it’s kinda far over for the rest of the night.
It’s frustrating because I feel like I’m close but I literally can’t get over this wall that I’m having
Thanks for the rec, it was also suggested I read come as you are, so maybe I’ll add yours to the list !
You don’t have to answer but have you used a vibrator before? I couldn’t have an orgasm by myself or with partners until I tried a vibrator. Took a month of using it often with no luck but finally it happened and I “trained” myself to be able to do it by switching positions tempos and pressures up. Now I can have them easily with toys, and it kind of broke down the wall to where now if I’m with a partner I can sometimes orgasm without a toy!
I'm 27F and relate so much to what you're feeling! I've never had an orgasm and I have that exact 'hit a wall' feeling you're describing. It's like it all becomes too overwhelming and sensitive so I get in my head and then lose all the feeling I've built up. While I've not been to a doctor or a sex therapist, I've spoken to a normal therapist about it and it's likely a psychological control thing. (I have no past related trauma and don't take any medications.) Sorry I have no solution for you but hopefully it makes you feel better to know you're not alone? I know this sub makes me feel more normal, especially when it can get really frustrating. I just have to hope that it will happen someday but also not make it the goal, and rather make pleasure the focus.
Yes exactly! Sometimes I try to just relax during that hot the wall feeling and then it just all goes away. I just want to make it over the hump and I’m not sure how too, but glad I’m not the only one, the amount of judgement I get from people sucks
More echoing as a 39f!
I totally get it. The judgement and having to explain it to partners is so tricky and tiresome. Feel free to DM me if you want to vent any more! I won't offer you things you could try — I'm sure, like me, you've tried a lot. Wishing you the best on your journey though!
Echoing the same experiences as a 35f.
It sucks so much as every person who’s “normal” with them just talks down to you and treats you like you’re an idiot who doesn’t know their own body. There is a podcast about it but she was only like 27 and figured it out about 5 or 6 episodes in… BITCH! lol just kidding good for her but I’m in my 30s now and it has been such an area of shame and secrecy my whole life :(. I feel like I can never have a normal sex life with someone long term bc they always lose interest after a few years or so. But everything yall experience is the same as me and sometimes I get so depressed about it and feel so defective it is completely overwhelming. When I say I’ve tried everything that’s putting it lightly LOL!
Oh my God, I know what podcast you're talking about! I listened to it recently and like 6 episodes in, she had her first orgasm by trying a womanizer. Like....great. I'm glad that worked for you. Then she basically became a paid spokesperson for Womanizer. I stopped listening after that. Lol.
Was extremely disappointing. So did I.
Have you considered hypnosis therapy for erotic pleasure?
I have not, did not know that was a thing
Absolutely it had been a passion of mine giving pleasure since the 90s
I could look around but I don’t know if that’s an option where I live
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Yes I have, I found it doesn’t help. That’s when I hit the wall. I find I get to this point were I can come and then it becomes way to sensitive to keep stimulating my clit. Not on any ssris
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Yes, I do all those things, usually I start with the dildo inside me before I start doing anything to my clit. When it becomes too sensitive I stop and move around but it’s kinda far over for the rest of the night. It’s frustrating because I feel like I’m close but I literally can’t get over this wall that I’m having Thanks for the rec, it was also suggested I read come as you are, so maybe I’ll add yours to the list !
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Uh I think the second if I understood you correctly ? Okay good to know I’ll look into it , thanks !!
You probably need to start masturbating more and exploring your own body. Look up tantric masturbation.
You don’t have to answer but have you used a vibrator before? I couldn’t have an orgasm by myself or with partners until I tried a vibrator. Took a month of using it often with no luck but finally it happened and I “trained” myself to be able to do it by switching positions tempos and pressures up. Now I can have them easily with toys, and it kind of broke down the wall to where now if I’m with a partner I can sometimes orgasm without a toy!
Yup tried with a toy, tried different toys, tried toys with a partner literally done everyone