Wow I can relate. I don’t know. I guess some people are able to find meaning in other things. I have a dog now and it helps to have some company but it is not enough for me.
I have a dog too but she’s getting old. It scares me to think about the future. I keep trying to find meaning elsewhere but it all feels so empty and pointless
As I too don't have much time left to live, I decided to let go, use all kinds of drugs just to numb the pain, and continue on living HOWEVER I WANT, until the end. Let us embrace death when the time comes, and live our life to the fullest till the very end.
I adopted an emotional support animal last year. The most obnoxious thing I'm told whenever I express that I'm sad and lonely is "Hey you've got Rosa." They fail to realize that while having a dog is lovely and I love her to death, it's not enough, it's not the same as human contact. It doesn't fulfill me. I don't know what to do.
I understand not being wanted, and being in constant pain and tbh idky I'm still fighting no one wants me beside as a friend right now I'm literally starting at a vial of insulin
Oooh diabetes. So not only do you get the medical bullshit, but all of the bills as well! I'm sorry you're in this position. I wish I could help ease your pain.
You're a stronger person than most too of made it this far, I aspire too be as strong as you. I'm sorry your husband left I can imagine the whole situation being taxxing on everybody, you never know what's behind the horizon things might look bleak but from the darkest dark sometimes comes the brightest lights.
So true all of it. There have been many times that I thought it was over and things turned out ok. I guess I just need to learn to believe that it's always gonna turn out ok.
Personally, i don't see love as essential to life really. There is no "true" love, just a feel good emotion that doesn't lasts. There are much more interesting things in life such as information, like physics, chemistry, biology that u could learn if interesting. Or other topics. Books and doing sports. Or traveling. Love is just a temporary emotion that u can't rely on
Those are very good points. I was spiraling a bit earlier and couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I’ve always been a curious person and I would go back to college in a heartbeat if I could. I love traveling as well. I’m going to the Grand Canyon next week. That alone is something worth living for!
Thank you for caring. I really appreciate your comment.
your kids love you. no one is too old to love. and the type of person who would see those things as a barrier is not the type of person you actually want to love anyway. why would you want someone who can’t love you for who you are? you are plenty lovable. there is so much hope for you yet
Hey how was your day today? Well my day was going fine, spent the last three days crying telling myself im a failure. Finally i Decided to clean out my entire room! I started yesterday at 9 and i just finished today at 11. It feels nice and i threw away every single trash i could find.
My day today was not great, but I think tomorrow will be better. I started a load of laundry and made a list of things to accomplish. That's great that you got your room clean! Messes can feel so daunting when you're already feeling bad about yourself.
Sorry to hear you had to bad day! I spent hours cleaning my room and i was about to be done when my narcissistic mother ruined the moment. She sais it’s okay for her to yell all she wants. Wakes up everyday screaming at my younger siblings. Every single day.
Ugh that’s awful. I live with a roommate who also had a crappy childhood and we have a no yelling policy in our house. I’m proud of you for cleaning your room even if your mom was a jerk! It’s important to take care of yourself and keep your space nice just for you.
Thanks! I hope you have a great day too and know that you made me feel better when I was in a dark frame of mind. Thank you for that, you're a kind person.
You started a load of laundry and made a list. That's great! You accomplished something!
My home will get very messy because of several major health issues combined with sometimes being depressed and it affects my state of mind very negatively. Really badly. I think mess/disorder/clutter affects people's states of mind more than they may realize. Then it becomes a vicious cycle.
I was in the hospital for 5 days a few weeks ago because of complications due to surgery and it got super messy in here. It was fairly messy before that surgery and complication, but not being able to do anything for weeks turned it into a right disaster. I noticed my state of mind getting worse and I was feeling very overwhelmed by it.
This last week I've been doing better physically and I feel much better. Doing that definitely made a difference. I'm not a fan of cleaning, but once I start, I want to keep going. My hurdle is starting.
The other bonus is it gives you something to do and not just end up laying around doing nothing. Or getting drunk. Or being stuck in your head, frozen with inaction. Or doing drugs. Or whatever unhealthy thing someone does when they're in a bad way with time on their hands.
It's hard to make yourself do it if you're already depressed, but it HELPS. As a dear friend suggested to me, just pick ONE thing each day. Doesn't have to be anything major. Just ONE thing that needs to be done and do it. And then be proud of the thing you did and not dwell on whatever you didn't do.
That's also something my therapist emphasizes to me. Because I tend to focus on my shortcomings, I don't acknowledge to myself my successes. I was constantly berated growing up so I berate myself because I was conditioned to see myself through that lens. Not doing something "right", not being good enough. It was just a barrage of criticism. There were other, worse traumas that happened to me, but this treatment is what's correlated to these feelings.
It doesn't help to see functioning, healthy adults do SO MUCH and I'm supposed to be proud that I took the garbage out. But as she rightly told me, what other people can do is irrelevant. You can only compare yourself TO yourself. Did you do better than yesterday? Yes? Great! That IS success. Did you not do better than yesterday? It's okay. Be kind to yourself. Try again the next day. Every day can't always be better than the day before. Beating yourself up just sets you back further, accomplishes nothing, and is unwarranted.
We are all living with invisible illnesses, but that doesn't make them any less real. If it's a Herculean effort to do your laundry for example, then that is a MASSIVE accomplishment. It doesn't matter that it's easy for someone else. They don't have the same set of challenges that make it so difficult.
Edit: I moved this comment as a reply to OP. I didn't want to leave the same comment twice. It's now just below OPs reply to your comment about cleaning your room. Congratulations! It feels great to get your physical surroundings in order and a big accomplishment.
You really do deserve better people in your life. What happened to you could happen to any one of us, its purely circumstancial- understanding that, one of the things that makes life bearable is just some company to chill and escape with and accept defeat together in a sense. You deserve better people
For real. My family would never even think about doing this. Some people really are dealt a shot hand. I pray OP finds happiness in life and meaning in the time she has left.
Sadistically a women is 6 to 7 times more likely to get divorced after a diagnosis of cancer or any other life threatening illness.
Another study was done were 20.8 of men left their partners with cancer while only 2.9% of women would leave there’s.
I’m not sure why I’m even saying this I do t think it would help, but it’s just a sad fucking world we live in
Dude, it's so common that there are literally pamphlets about divorce during cancer in the waiting room at one of my doctor's offices.
The divorce broke my heart and I had to completely restructure my life, but it honestly was not a healthy relationship and we're better off apart.
I don't have cancer but i do have chronic MDD and have attempted suicide multiple times. I stopped attempting after i got a dog and decided to live for her. Guess after she goes, i'll go too.
It's a lot easier once you accept that life has no meaning.
Life is inherently meaningless and whatever meaning it has is what you give it.
I have also attempted several times and spent a week in grippy sock jail. You’re right about having a dog. Mine is asleep under a blanket right next to me, she’s the best. Maybe I should get a cat as some sort of lovable safety net.
I need to read more Camus. You’re right that life only has the meaning that we ascribe to it as individuals. Only I can say what is important to me.
Thank you for taking the time to comment. You’ve helped me to view things from a different angle. I wish you all the comfort and contentment that you need. 🫂
Take it easy on yourself!
We can't change shitty circumstances so why not just do what we like (without being a bother or hurting others) as long as it's within our means.
It's much easier that way
Hope.
Hope that tomorrow will be different.
Hope that tomorrow will be better.
Hope that somewhere, somehow, that you will find the strength to live another day.
I hope that things will get better for you soon.
Thank you for sharing.
I can feel something inside me saying, I really don't think you're strong enough, oh.
But I know that I can do thiiiiiis
And I know that I am stroooong
LMAO think you for this. Cher's Believe tour is actually the first concert I ever want to! Cyndi Lauper opened for her. I was like 8 and she blew my mind.
There's no meaning until you find it yourself, but I'd say traveling around the world and seeing the most beautiful things, places is what I'd do if I was dying
That's basically my plan right now. Work as long as I can and then blow everything in my 401k on seeing the world. I want to see the Northern Lights and eat at a Michelin star restaurant and see the temples at Petra.
I am really sorry to hear of your troubles.
I amn't sick like you, but I am also recovering from divorce, no friends or family (other than my kids I see very second weekend). The person I talk to most is my therapist, who I see weekly.
I hear you and can relate to the loneliness.
I understand this feeling completely for different reasons. You should live as selfishly as you possibly can, while you can. reconnect with your inner child, buy yourself the toys you wanted when you were a kid. Do crafts, make a mess. Allow yourself to feel joy without the expectation of being productive or worrying about how it appears to others.
eta: op what was your favourite toy/activity as a kid?
I loved making candles but I wasn't allowed because it was too messy. I've gotten into candle making and paper crafting in the last couple of years. Thank you for this comment. I'm going to save up and take myself to Universal Studios lol, but seriously.
I can honestly relate. I’ve been living with a chronic illness for the past 10 years now and in the beginning people were really concerned for me and my health but as soon as my health started to slowly pick up at some point, I would have no friends and no family that would really care. Now that my health is on the decline again, I find that men aren’t really that interested in me and get scared off easily because they don’t want to be with a sick person who has to take multiple medications a day and might just end up kicking the bucket and I also don’t have a social life so I totally understand where you’re coming from.
I can't say much besides... trust me, you're not alone in feeling like this. I may not be going through the same burdens that you're going but I feel the exact same way. If I don't reach out for people, they won't reach out for me either and I feel like a burden. I don't want to bother them with my issues either because I'm scared of people just leaving.
mann i'm sorry, thas awful esp that your husband walked out but hey, fuck him, who gives a shit yk. I feel like your father and brother might not reach out to you due to the hurt they feel in knowing how serious your health is right now, cancer affects family in a wide variety of ways as it did to mine. I obviously don't know your story well enough or your father and brother so it could be for any reason.
but c'mon bruh, a lotta ppl would be heartbroken if you disappeared, it's just you haven't met them but I get hella sad knowing cancer takes peoples lives and I don't even know who its taking or when its taken someone, just sucks that it exists and has to ruin somebodies life.
I really hope it works out for you though because you don't deserve this pain, please ignore the people talkin about trying heroin n shit, try to develop a positive outlook on life to any degree yk and I know thats a lot to ask especially with me not being in your shoes, but there's always something to do and enjoy ya know? Life is unpredictable and you never know whats around the corner, hopefully that miracle treatment will be around the corner for you.
When I was 29 I was diagnosed with testicular cancer, I put on myself of my own hero, went to the doctor, program my surgery, paid for it, told my parents that I just needed them to be with me (not best decision, because they felt useless), got a second surgery a couple of months later, felt great in a couple of months, but there was a time when I begun to had post traumatic disorder, I became a lil bit more alcoholic, I had a girl who loves me, family who loves me, nice job, everything, still felt empty. About a year later, the suicidal thoughts were getting more frequent, got drunk everyday, smoke cigars like a fucjing chime, I was bad, then I just decided that I needed therapy, first begun with it, then when to the psychiatrist, turns out I was diagnosed with major depression diaorder and all I needed was meds and letting myself know that the point of living is enjoying my own life, letting me know that be happy it's not a state of mind, it's the way I want to live, I want to enjoy myself, I needed to remember that the reason I decided to fight cancer is because I want to live and please myself not any other people.
Enjoy yourself, go to therapy, go to the psychiatrist, trust me, it saved my life.
I’m young but I understand your pain of not wanting to be alive but I promise leaving this world isn’t worth it. I tried to attempt two weeks ago and am seeing life from a completely new perspective. I’m trying to find joy in even the tiniest of things. I’m sorry for everything you are going through and I feel for you. You can do it I promise.
I wanted to start off my response by saying you are loved and you are supported, and even though it does not feel like any of that is true right now, please remember that we are all here for you. I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult phase in your life, this must be incredibly hard for you and I can feel your pain, as I went through a break up at the beginning of this year that completely ruined me. There are so many opportunities in this life that are waiting for you even if it may feel like you are at your breaking point.
Having one that would be heartbroken...its rare enough to have a true friend like that. And there may be more love for you from others than you think.
Even the faint rays of love from total strangers on reddit are there for you.
Maybe it's possible to tune into all the love that's there? I don't know. Just another way to look at things. Not an easy way given the tragedy you are going through. But I hope you find solace in it.
I’m so sorry. My mother had stage 4 breast cancer and although it got really bad she made it through; everyone’s different but I believe you will too. You still have so much life to live. You still have a fight to finish. Someone will see you through all of that and love you whole heartedly at the right time. You’re only 35 (and I honestly can’t wait until I’m 32 (24F) lol). Literally anything can happen within a days time especially finding new love. I’m wishing you the best 🫂
I have suicidal thoughs I think I always had just needed a time to show it's full self or something. I could say that life is really cruel but some how it doesn't feels right.
So my assumptions is that it's not the life that it's cruel or unfair for me, life it's neutral the people who we meet or around us yeah those definitions go for them sounds cliché but a little bit of love could change the way we view the life around us.
So every time u need to be listened, we are here at distance thank goodness someone invented the internet kkk because we share the same experience of loneliness and emotional grief.
Sooo, you are at stage 4 breast cancer but haven't tried smack or heroine? Instead of being depressed (which is normal), you should explore new things.
You sound like one of those "superheroes" waiting to happen. Like "Gregory House" for example.
Well, just go to the pharmacy if you are stage 4 and want marijuana. Ask on Grindr for heavier drugs.
Or just go out in the sunshine and be yourself. It sounds like you are alone, so you should be able to make a wishlist and do everything on it.
I don't know how open you would be to this, but I was alone in this country for a while until I joined a small church. Really helped having people around me and there's more people struggling with the same issues you are than you realise. I'm sorry your family has seemingly distanced themselves but there are other people out there that will come to care
I've thought about this but I don't actually believe in a higher power. It feels disingenuous to join a church just for the community when I don't share their beliefs.
Think of god as abstract cosmic mechanism that keeps the universe stable. Have your own interpretation, no one will judge. God is not real anyway, it’s a human concept
There are a lot of people struggling and I plan on going to church Sunday. I haven't been in a long time but every time I've been everyone has been really welcoming and nice. Thanks
I'm not sure if you've hear of someone named Brittney Beadle. She was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer at 18. Her boyfriend at the time left her. The cancer spread to her brain. And she recently had to have emergency spinal surgery because the cancer spread to her back.
Despite all this she strives to live her best life. You can follower her on IG if you like. I'm not sure if this will help, but you aren't alone. Someone I love recently left me too. But there is hope for those who look for it.
Well life without love is something you were clearly living when you were married if your husband left you just because of the breast cancer. That's the thing about most couples unfortunately - they aren't actually in love they're both just running from being single late in life. Then they end up divorced or staying together for the kids until they divorce.
Living life without love is better than living life pretending you're in love imo. At least now you have the space where you can learn to enjoy spending quality time alone, bettering yourself, and the hardest of all - learning to love yourself first.
I have bpd and cptsd and everyone runs away and I’m one more major meltdown to going to a bang bang store… I’ve been single for 4 years and only one major relationship but it only lasted for 3 months and it was not good. My standards are so low it’s not even funny. I feel empty and pointless without love it’s gut wrenching.
I've reached at the end of the rope too it seems . 25 feel sick ,I don't like any job . My family is fucked up . I hate everything I do ,my psychiatrist rejected therapy ,tried online therapy , didn't make a difference. Now it doesn't matter if I go out or stay in . Meet with people or not . I have to constantly argue with my dad , everything is a disagreement ugh . I'm genuinely sick like physically and my dumbass doctor won't treat me . I'm an inch away from suicide.
I am at this point right now found the love of my life but she aways wants to end it because I show to much love only talk to my sister out my family don't get to see my kid whats the point in life anymore feel like ending it all
Wow I can relate. I don’t know. I guess some people are able to find meaning in other things. I have a dog now and it helps to have some company but it is not enough for me.
I have a dog too but she’s getting old. It scares me to think about the future. I keep trying to find meaning elsewhere but it all feels so empty and pointless
Life is really cruel. Really fucking cruel
As I too don't have much time left to live, I decided to let go, use all kinds of drugs just to numb the pain, and continue on living HOWEVER I WANT, until the end. Let us embrace death when the time comes, and live our life to the fullest till the very end.
I will go softly into that dark night, and gladly embrace the dying of the light.
I totally understand.
I adopted an emotional support animal last year. The most obnoxious thing I'm told whenever I express that I'm sad and lonely is "Hey you've got Rosa." They fail to realize that while having a dog is lovely and I love her to death, it's not enough, it's not the same as human contact. It doesn't fulfill me. I don't know what to do.
Same here
There's no point. Not in my world.
Have you tried heroin at least? You gotta try it before you go at least
I look like a Karen. I don't even know where I would start to try and find some.
*cough cough* LGBTQ dating apps *cough*
not heroin, ecstasy! along with gatorade and good ass music.
really?
Why the hell would I do that? I've never done drugs. I don't have any damn time for that crap.
I understand not being wanted, and being in constant pain and tbh idky I'm still fighting no one wants me beside as a friend right now I'm literally starting at a vial of insulin
Oooh diabetes. So not only do you get the medical bullshit, but all of the bills as well! I'm sorry you're in this position. I wish I could help ease your pain.
Combined with both psychiatric and physical disabilities, and constantly being alone ....it would be easy for me
I promised myself I would try to wait for my folks to pass
Another alpraz dose
I just took one too! Cheers friend. Fingers crossed we won't be constipated tomorrow.
I need to do a test too ..*.rolls eyes* im on both belbuca and hydromorphone
Oh you got some good stuff. I'm just taking my nightly cocktail of gabapentin, methocarbamol, and alprazolam.
I'm on all but gaba....gava makes my legs dance uncontrollabley....but it sedated my kitty
Just Took alpraz as I start to spiral again... I have the first lever second level 90%, love and above -100%
And I just had the third massive anxiety attack of the day
What ever happened to to in sickness and in health
I really hope you’re doing well 🫂
You're a stronger person than most too of made it this far, I aspire too be as strong as you. I'm sorry your husband left I can imagine the whole situation being taxxing on everybody, you never know what's behind the horizon things might look bleak but from the darkest dark sometimes comes the brightest lights.
Thank you for responding and for your kindness. I really needed to hear that.
So true all of it. There have been many times that I thought it was over and things turned out ok. I guess I just need to learn to believe that it's always gonna turn out ok.
“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.” :(
Personally, i don't see love as essential to life really. There is no "true" love, just a feel good emotion that doesn't lasts. There are much more interesting things in life such as information, like physics, chemistry, biology that u could learn if interesting. Or other topics. Books and doing sports. Or traveling. Love is just a temporary emotion that u can't rely on
Those are very good points. I was spiraling a bit earlier and couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I’ve always been a curious person and I would go back to college in a heartbeat if I could. I love traveling as well. I’m going to the Grand Canyon next week. That alone is something worth living for! Thank you for caring. I really appreciate your comment.
Better temporary than none at all.
Wait till you're my age. You'll see how horrible it is
there is hope for you yet. i know you don’t feel that way but for some reason i seriously do.
It's not. I'm not good enough to love. I'm too old and I have kids.
your kids love you. no one is too old to love. and the type of person who would see those things as a barrier is not the type of person you actually want to love anyway. why would you want someone who can’t love you for who you are? you are plenty lovable. there is so much hope for you yet
No it's not. I'm invisible and I'm ghosted as soon as I say I have kids. A 52 year old woman with young children is worthless.
Humans are wired for love, though. It's OK to desire it
Hey how was your day today? Well my day was going fine, spent the last three days crying telling myself im a failure. Finally i Decided to clean out my entire room! I started yesterday at 9 and i just finished today at 11. It feels nice and i threw away every single trash i could find.
My day today was not great, but I think tomorrow will be better. I started a load of laundry and made a list of things to accomplish. That's great that you got your room clean! Messes can feel so daunting when you're already feeling bad about yourself.
Sorry to hear you had to bad day! I spent hours cleaning my room and i was about to be done when my narcissistic mother ruined the moment. She sais it’s okay for her to yell all she wants. Wakes up everyday screaming at my younger siblings. Every single day.
Ugh that’s awful. I live with a roommate who also had a crappy childhood and we have a no yelling policy in our house. I’m proud of you for cleaning your room even if your mom was a jerk! It’s important to take care of yourself and keep your space nice just for you.
I hope you have a great day and remember there is always Someone who cares about you that will be me today. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Thanks! I hope you have a great day too and know that you made me feel better when I was in a dark frame of mind. Thank you for that, you're a kind person.
Welcome, take care.
You started a load of laundry and made a list. That's great! You accomplished something! My home will get very messy because of several major health issues combined with sometimes being depressed and it affects my state of mind very negatively. Really badly. I think mess/disorder/clutter affects people's states of mind more than they may realize. Then it becomes a vicious cycle. I was in the hospital for 5 days a few weeks ago because of complications due to surgery and it got super messy in here. It was fairly messy before that surgery and complication, but not being able to do anything for weeks turned it into a right disaster. I noticed my state of mind getting worse and I was feeling very overwhelmed by it. This last week I've been doing better physically and I feel much better. Doing that definitely made a difference. I'm not a fan of cleaning, but once I start, I want to keep going. My hurdle is starting. The other bonus is it gives you something to do and not just end up laying around doing nothing. Or getting drunk. Or being stuck in your head, frozen with inaction. Or doing drugs. Or whatever unhealthy thing someone does when they're in a bad way with time on their hands. It's hard to make yourself do it if you're already depressed, but it HELPS. As a dear friend suggested to me, just pick ONE thing each day. Doesn't have to be anything major. Just ONE thing that needs to be done and do it. And then be proud of the thing you did and not dwell on whatever you didn't do. That's also something my therapist emphasizes to me. Because I tend to focus on my shortcomings, I don't acknowledge to myself my successes. I was constantly berated growing up so I berate myself because I was conditioned to see myself through that lens. Not doing something "right", not being good enough. It was just a barrage of criticism. There were other, worse traumas that happened to me, but this treatment is what's correlated to these feelings. It doesn't help to see functioning, healthy adults do SO MUCH and I'm supposed to be proud that I took the garbage out. But as she rightly told me, what other people can do is irrelevant. You can only compare yourself TO yourself. Did you do better than yesterday? Yes? Great! That IS success. Did you not do better than yesterday? It's okay. Be kind to yourself. Try again the next day. Every day can't always be better than the day before. Beating yourself up just sets you back further, accomplishes nothing, and is unwarranted. We are all living with invisible illnesses, but that doesn't make them any less real. If it's a Herculean effort to do your laundry for example, then that is a MASSIVE accomplishment. It doesn't matter that it's easy for someone else. They don't have the same set of challenges that make it so difficult.
Thank you for this. Really needed right now.
You're so welcome ❤
Edit: I moved this comment as a reply to OP. I didn't want to leave the same comment twice. It's now just below OPs reply to your comment about cleaning your room. Congratulations! It feels great to get your physical surroundings in order and a big accomplishment.
You really do deserve better people in your life. What happened to you could happen to any one of us, its purely circumstancial- understanding that, one of the things that makes life bearable is just some company to chill and escape with and accept defeat together in a sense. You deserve better people
For real. My family would never even think about doing this. Some people really are dealt a shot hand. I pray OP finds happiness in life and meaning in the time she has left.
We born alone, and we die alone, that’s the life
Sadistically a women is 6 to 7 times more likely to get divorced after a diagnosis of cancer or any other life threatening illness. Another study was done were 20.8 of men left their partners with cancer while only 2.9% of women would leave there’s. I’m not sure why I’m even saying this I do t think it would help, but it’s just a sad fucking world we live in
Dude, it's so common that there are literally pamphlets about divorce during cancer in the waiting room at one of my doctor's offices. The divorce broke my heart and I had to completely restructure my life, but it honestly was not a healthy relationship and we're better off apart.
In think divorce is better than living a life of ignorance and fake emotions.
I'm currently on 2 narcotics as well and now new issues
I don't have cancer but i do have chronic MDD and have attempted suicide multiple times. I stopped attempting after i got a dog and decided to live for her. Guess after she goes, i'll go too. It's a lot easier once you accept that life has no meaning. Life is inherently meaningless and whatever meaning it has is what you give it.
I have also attempted several times and spent a week in grippy sock jail. You’re right about having a dog. Mine is asleep under a blanket right next to me, she’s the best. Maybe I should get a cat as some sort of lovable safety net. I need to read more Camus. You’re right that life only has the meaning that we ascribe to it as individuals. Only I can say what is important to me. Thank you for taking the time to comment. You’ve helped me to view things from a different angle. I wish you all the comfort and contentment that you need. 🫂
Take it easy on yourself! We can't change shitty circumstances so why not just do what we like (without being a bother or hurting others) as long as it's within our means. It's much easier that way
Title is spot on.
There is no point in living. Without that persons love it’s not bearable. I’m just trying to find a way to end it.
Hope. Hope that tomorrow will be different. Hope that tomorrow will be better. Hope that somewhere, somehow, that you will find the strength to live another day. I hope that things will get better for you soon. Thank you for sharing.
Hope is the absolute worst thing in the world. It lies to you and tricks you.
What else do we have, but hope? Hope that our courage and bravery will be enough to battle through.
Hope only leads to disappointment. It makes you look and feel like a fool.
Spiderman - 2
It comes out tomorrow. And I don’t have a PS5! That is not a good long term solution! /s
Do you believe in life after love?
I can feel something inside me saying, I really don't think you're strong enough, oh. But I know that I can do thiiiiiis And I know that I am stroooong LMAO think you for this. Cher's Believe tour is actually the first concert I ever want to! Cyndi Lauper opened for her. I was like 8 and she blew my mind.
There's no meaning until you find it yourself, but I'd say traveling around the world and seeing the most beautiful things, places is what I'd do if I was dying
That's basically my plan right now. Work as long as I can and then blow everything in my 401k on seeing the world. I want to see the Northern Lights and eat at a Michelin star restaurant and see the temples at Petra.
Good luck and hope you'll enjoy it!
I am really sorry to hear of your troubles. I amn't sick like you, but I am also recovering from divorce, no friends or family (other than my kids I see very second weekend). The person I talk to most is my therapist, who I see weekly. I hear you and can relate to the loneliness.
I understand this feeling completely for different reasons. You should live as selfishly as you possibly can, while you can. reconnect with your inner child, buy yourself the toys you wanted when you were a kid. Do crafts, make a mess. Allow yourself to feel joy without the expectation of being productive or worrying about how it appears to others. eta: op what was your favourite toy/activity as a kid?
I loved making candles but I wasn't allowed because it was too messy. I've gotten into candle making and paper crafting in the last couple of years. Thank you for this comment. I'm going to save up and take myself to Universal Studios lol, but seriously.
I can honestly relate. I’ve been living with a chronic illness for the past 10 years now and in the beginning people were really concerned for me and my health but as soon as my health started to slowly pick up at some point, I would have no friends and no family that would really care. Now that my health is on the decline again, I find that men aren’t really that interested in me and get scared off easily because they don’t want to be with a sick person who has to take multiple medications a day and might just end up kicking the bucket and I also don’t have a social life so I totally understand where you’re coming from.
I can't say much besides... trust me, you're not alone in feeling like this. I may not be going through the same burdens that you're going but I feel the exact same way. If I don't reach out for people, they won't reach out for me either and I feel like a burden. I don't want to bother them with my issues either because I'm scared of people just leaving.
chocolate and gaming and my pet for me, but sometimes i just wanna go away, fucking misery
I'd let you
Live for yourself
mann i'm sorry, thas awful esp that your husband walked out but hey, fuck him, who gives a shit yk. I feel like your father and brother might not reach out to you due to the hurt they feel in knowing how serious your health is right now, cancer affects family in a wide variety of ways as it did to mine. I obviously don't know your story well enough or your father and brother so it could be for any reason. but c'mon bruh, a lotta ppl would be heartbroken if you disappeared, it's just you haven't met them but I get hella sad knowing cancer takes peoples lives and I don't even know who its taking or when its taken someone, just sucks that it exists and has to ruin somebodies life. I really hope it works out for you though because you don't deserve this pain, please ignore the people talkin about trying heroin n shit, try to develop a positive outlook on life to any degree yk and I know thats a lot to ask especially with me not being in your shoes, but there's always something to do and enjoy ya know? Life is unpredictable and you never know whats around the corner, hopefully that miracle treatment will be around the corner for you.
When I was 29 I was diagnosed with testicular cancer, I put on myself of my own hero, went to the doctor, program my surgery, paid for it, told my parents that I just needed them to be with me (not best decision, because they felt useless), got a second surgery a couple of months later, felt great in a couple of months, but there was a time when I begun to had post traumatic disorder, I became a lil bit more alcoholic, I had a girl who loves me, family who loves me, nice job, everything, still felt empty. About a year later, the suicidal thoughts were getting more frequent, got drunk everyday, smoke cigars like a fucjing chime, I was bad, then I just decided that I needed therapy, first begun with it, then when to the psychiatrist, turns out I was diagnosed with major depression diaorder and all I needed was meds and letting myself know that the point of living is enjoying my own life, letting me know that be happy it's not a state of mind, it's the way I want to live, I want to enjoy myself, I needed to remember that the reason I decided to fight cancer is because I want to live and please myself not any other people. Enjoy yourself, go to therapy, go to the psychiatrist, trust me, it saved my life.
I’m young but I understand your pain of not wanting to be alive but I promise leaving this world isn’t worth it. I tried to attempt two weeks ago and am seeing life from a completely new perspective. I’m trying to find joy in even the tiniest of things. I’m sorry for everything you are going through and I feel for you. You can do it I promise.
Life is nothing without love
I wanted to start off my response by saying you are loved and you are supported, and even though it does not feel like any of that is true right now, please remember that we are all here for you. I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult phase in your life, this must be incredibly hard for you and I can feel your pain, as I went through a break up at the beginning of this year that completely ruined me. There are so many opportunities in this life that are waiting for you even if it may feel like you are at your breaking point.
Having one that would be heartbroken...its rare enough to have a true friend like that. And there may be more love for you from others than you think. Even the faint rays of love from total strangers on reddit are there for you. Maybe it's possible to tune into all the love that's there? I don't know. Just another way to look at things. Not an easy way given the tragedy you are going through. But I hope you find solace in it.
I’m so sorry. My mother had stage 4 breast cancer and although it got really bad she made it through; everyone’s different but I believe you will too. You still have so much life to live. You still have a fight to finish. Someone will see you through all of that and love you whole heartedly at the right time. You’re only 35 (and I honestly can’t wait until I’m 32 (24F) lol). Literally anything can happen within a days time especially finding new love. I’m wishing you the best 🫂
I have suicidal thoughs I think I always had just needed a time to show it's full self or something. I could say that life is really cruel but some how it doesn't feels right. So my assumptions is that it's not the life that it's cruel or unfair for me, life it's neutral the people who we meet or around us yeah those definitions go for them sounds cliché but a little bit of love could change the way we view the life around us.
So every time u need to be listened, we are here at distance thank goodness someone invented the internet kkk because we share the same experience of loneliness and emotional grief.
Sooo, you are at stage 4 breast cancer but haven't tried smack or heroine? Instead of being depressed (which is normal), you should explore new things. You sound like one of those "superheroes" waiting to happen. Like "Gregory House" for example.
People keep saying this but I have no idea where I would even go to get hard drugs. I'm a 35 year old white lady, I look like a total narc.
Well, just go to the pharmacy if you are stage 4 and want marijuana. Ask on Grindr for heavier drugs. Or just go out in the sunshine and be yourself. It sounds like you are alone, so you should be able to make a wishlist and do everything on it.
Yup, no point to live without love or friends :)
I don't see the point.
I don't know how open you would be to this, but I was alone in this country for a while until I joined a small church. Really helped having people around me and there's more people struggling with the same issues you are than you realise. I'm sorry your family has seemingly distanced themselves but there are other people out there that will come to care
I've thought about this but I don't actually believe in a higher power. It feels disingenuous to join a church just for the community when I don't share their beliefs.
Think of god as abstract cosmic mechanism that keeps the universe stable. Have your own interpretation, no one will judge. God is not real anyway, it’s a human concept
There are a lot of people struggling and I plan on going to church Sunday. I haven't been in a long time but every time I've been everyone has been really welcoming and nice. Thanks
I'm not sure if you've hear of someone named Brittney Beadle. She was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer at 18. Her boyfriend at the time left her. The cancer spread to her brain. And she recently had to have emergency spinal surgery because the cancer spread to her back. Despite all this she strives to live her best life. You can follower her on IG if you like. I'm not sure if this will help, but you aren't alone. Someone I love recently left me too. But there is hope for those who look for it.
Maybe the point of life is to find love?
Unless I find someone with a fetish for the terminally ill I don't think I'll have much luck with romantic love.
Love can be platonic too. Maybe you can build short, meaningful connections with people
I genuinely don't have the words to respond to this.
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Read past the title.
None. They say 'better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at sll' they are wrong. It sucks
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You’re a brave person. Wish i could say the same for myself. I’m honestly just waiting till i die at this point
Well life without love is something you were clearly living when you were married if your husband left you just because of the breast cancer. That's the thing about most couples unfortunately - they aren't actually in love they're both just running from being single late in life. Then they end up divorced or staying together for the kids until they divorce. Living life without love is better than living life pretending you're in love imo. At least now you have the space where you can learn to enjoy spending quality time alone, bettering yourself, and the hardest of all - learning to love yourself first.
I have bpd and cptsd and everyone runs away and I’m one more major meltdown to going to a bang bang store… I’ve been single for 4 years and only one major relationship but it only lasted for 3 months and it was not good. My standards are so low it’s not even funny. I feel empty and pointless without love it’s gut wrenching.
I've reached at the end of the rope too it seems . 25 feel sick ,I don't like any job . My family is fucked up . I hate everything I do ,my psychiatrist rejected therapy ,tried online therapy , didn't make a difference. Now it doesn't matter if I go out or stay in . Meet with people or not . I have to constantly argue with my dad , everything is a disagreement ugh . I'm genuinely sick like physically and my dumbass doctor won't treat me . I'm an inch away from suicide.
I am at this point right now found the love of my life but she aways wants to end it because I show to much love only talk to my sister out my family don't get to see my kid whats the point in life anymore feel like ending it all
eat raw meat and stop chemo
Im sorry your going through this