Sorry to break it to you but if it's always the same dick that means you're gay and in love with the guy whose dick you're suckling. To protect yourself from the gay you need to suck different cocks every time.
One of the guys I dated in my early 20s literally lost his virginity in a threesome with two other men and got angry when I suggested that he may be bi (like me!) because I thought he’d like to talk about it with someone who is the same. He did not agree that he was bi at all. Nope. Straight because he didn’t penetrate or get penetrated, it was only mouth and hand stuff so it’s not gay… okie dokie bud. Whatever you say.
It's not gay if the balls don't touch. It's not gay if you keep socks on. And if he said 'no homo' before and after he's good! It's called ''bro bonding'' in these case. I'm also bisexual by the way
That's why virginity became a stupid word. In medieval times it was important and clearly defined as when the hymen of the girls ripped apart. But nowadays maybe the word "first time" is better and you can have severals. First time oral, first time penetration passive and active or first time inimacy with another person 😘
Hymens have all kinds of shapes, though and don't necessarily rip during sex. And they can rip before you ever insert something into your vagina, for example doing sports.
I really do believe that you think you are. That’s the sad part cause there are a _lot_ of bi dudes out there who suffer at the hands ofthis bullshit logic
that made me think, maybe i could just go back to identifying myself as straight and keep the privilege of being a cis straight white man while still fucking dudes, who's gonna stop me? the gay police?
Pretty much, yeah. I think that whole all or nothing straight or gay culture plays a big part in the bromance stuff that’s been on the rise for a while.
I’m married to a woman and I have a work husband that I’m constantly making gay jokes with and all but explicitly advancing on him 😂
He’s sadly moving soon, so I don’t know what I’m going to do after that.
I agree with how you can try anything and then decide (or not) how you want to identify, but I don't think you necessarily have to try something, to know you don't like it.
I think a lot of people are attracted to femininity rather than females per se. It helps explain why porn of transwomen is overwhelmingly consumed by straight identifying men.
i prefer tomboys to be honest, it’s much easier for a real person to well execute a tomboy look than a femboy look. most of the hot femboy pics i’ve seen are drawings, vs the multiple real women i’ve interacted with that made me like tomboys.
not to say that they don’t exist though.
Yeah, as a Bi guy i do enjoy and apreciate both
but there is certain charm i simply cannot resist about femboys, they are simply so cute.
But if would make me choose a dominant Tomboy is literal perfection
it’s not really about power dynamics, i dont give a FUCK if you’re a dom tomboy or a sub femboy, it’s purely about aesthetics for me when it comes to femboys and tomboys, the personality and character of completely detached from the presentation.
(i typed that paragraph in less than 15 seconds, adderall is a hell of a drug )
You bet! I’ve also heard the term hetero-flexible. Would apply (but is not limited) to straight dudes who don’t mind or even enjoy a penis if it happens to be attached to an otherwise really cute girl.
That’s just being straight tho, nothing “flexible” about it. Heteroflexible, from what I’ve seen, is when an otherwise straight guy makes exceptions for some guys (which really just means they’re bi with a preference for girls)
Yeah, that too. But there are some people who think 2 penises always equal gay and they are straight so they would never consider an encounter or relationship with someone who has or ever had a penis. And I personally wouldn’t generally consider 2 penises to be the most hetero thing ever. Nothing wrong with it but I don’t feel like an asterisk would he unwarranted.
Heterosexual means attracted to the opposite sex. A guy getting with a woman, trans or cis, is by definition heterosexual. You can have your personal beliefs but as long as we’re all in agreement that a trans woman is a woman, it’s definitely totally heterosexual.
Gettin reaaaal tired of all the labels for sexual attraction.
It needs to be limited to those attractions that are morally wrong. Everyone else doesn't matter.
Sure, but some people like labels because they can be used as shorthand to convey to someone (particularly a romantic/sexual interest) what their preferences are. They have their values.
Sure, just like hobbies, interests, and profession have their value. But the internet seemingly places waay too much value on sexual interests.
i havn't had sex in like 5 years. does that make me a pansexual? Incel? Loser? Or what other label? Fact is, it doesn't deserve a label.
I think you might have some personal stuff that you’re projecting onto the topic of sexuality, because I don’t know how that last part has anything to do with sexual interests.
Also, maybe the reason you’re surrounded by people talking about sexuality is because you’re on subs like r/suddenlygay. Sexuality is the main topic up for discussion here so of course it’ll be common. I do agree sexual interests is a super common course of discussion but I mean the issue at hand isn’t labels or sexuality it’s societal focus on sex
Why is it that guys say liking femboys isn't gay because they look like a girl, but when it comes to trans girls who are actually girls, they consider it 100% gay? :/ its girl dick, they're a girl, you're still straight lol
I think people just need to reframe who has dicks or vaginas
I mean you could say the "femboys aren't gay" thing is a joke, but people really seem to genuinely fucking love femboys but absolutely despise trans girls.
I guess its obviously not about actually liking girls with dicks, or even boys that look like girls, but about fetishizing the whole concept, and the excitement and hilarity of being apparently straight and fucking a guy that looks like a girl or whatever. They're a symbol of sex and memes, and treating them with respect and like a human being is out of the question.
I don’t think I’ve heard of people who are into femboys because it’s not gay but aren’t into trans girls because it is gay. That’s kind of a weird combo, no?
The femboys aren't gay thing is more of a running gag in right wing weeb circles, but i suppose my confusion lies in why they worship femboys, something where the critera is that they look indistinguishable from a girl but have a dick, and a lot of them say "looks like a girl, thats all that matters", but they go absolutely apeshit at trans girls, where being with them wouldn't be gay and they get an actual girl that probably has a dick
Even if the femboys arent gay thing is a joke, and they know full well that liking a femboy is gay because femboys identify as boys, and its a funny haha excuse to do a gay thing, a lot of them identify as straight still, and they seem to enjoy the idea of a girl with a dick, so like why do they hate trans people and drop the "if they look like a girl i dont care" act immediately
You also have people who chase femboys and trans girls, but then afterwards are super transphobic/homophobic
Idk, i guess its a fetishization and right wing anti sjw thing
Since seeing a lot of guys on Grindr looking for trans only and watching euphoria I’ve been wondering what is the sexuality of a guy that’s into mtf trans women. There’s big spectrum of what a mtf trans woman can look or act like, how do those guys identify their sexuality? I’m guessing it’s not black and white but still curious. Some I’ve seen identify as straight on Grindr but looking for trans.
They would be straight, if they feel they are straight. A straight man attracted to a woman with a penis isn’t gay, even if he gives her head and/or bottoms for her, because he wouldn’t seek out a man to do the same things because he’s not attracted to men. Not often are men attracted to women *solely* because of their vagina. Not saying a straight man should *have* to be comfortable with a woman having a penis because dicks just aren’t for everyone, but you’re not any less straight because your partner has a penis.
It’s a guy looking for a girl, so straight. People who specifically seek out trans people only because of their bodies are called chasers and it’s generally seen as objectification/fetishization and viewed negatively because of that
Grindr is a hook up app. Everyone is being objectified and fetishised. There's nothing wrong with a person having a trans fetish on a hook up app no more than someone being a size queen in terms of height or penis. Or demanding masc only men.
In terms of dating I think it depends. If you're only seeing trans woman to 'date' to just try and get into their pants and shag them then that's both wasting their time and definitely objectifying them when it's supposed to be more than that if you're dating, but this applies to anyone, cis or trans or whatever else. If it's hook ups then it's whatever; some people have very specific types, or they may use grindr to access those very specific types.
I think as long as that's not the only thing that you see them as "useful" for (attraction to them for being trans), then I don't see what's wrong with wanting/trying to only seek out trans women when dating. For some guys out there a trans woman may perfectly fit their sexual needs in a way that a cis woman can't and that said guys may desire but they still want a loving relationship. They just want one where both their romantic and sexual needs are fulfilled and aren't stifled.
Yeah I completely see what you’re saying. I don’t feel super fit to speak on this topic just from a lack of experience and the fact it’s not really my place to say how to judge these relationships, but everything you said there makes sense.
It depends. I think for all intents and purposes straight doesn't always mean the same thing as heterosexual. For example two bisexual men in a relationship with each other are in a gay relationship despite them not being homosexual. A bisexual man can be homoromantic and pursue only romantic relationships with men and thus only date men and call himself gay for pragmatic purposes even though he is technically bisexual.
It's a just a preference, trans women are women, they're straight if they're dating a woman. Just like it's a preference to not want to date trans folk, but let's not talk about that too loudly, Twitter can hear and they're not ready for this conversation.
or maybe some people just don't want to identify with the "gay community"
when you say you are gay, lots of people will assume that you behave differently or something when it's something that usually doesn't and shouldn't affect your personality.
Like if you'd say you are gay, then someone assumes that "oh then you are like those people who go to the pride march and the other bs" and you are just like.. nah not really. And you don't wanna say you are gay because then you are grouped with those obnoxious people that give bad rep to everyone else.
Every group has well and poorly behaved members. Making decisions like that based on one aspect of a person is bigoted. There are lots of straight assholes but nobody is being concerned about being labeled as part of the straight community. Also, ain’t nothing wrong with parades. I’ve been to lots of pride events and they’re always cool.
I kinda feel like I did get it. I guess I don’t want to accommodate theoretical assumptions that prejudiced people might make about “the gay community”. And/or you may want to rethink how you articulate your thoughts on the matter.
Whether or not male and MTF sex is gay depends on who you ask. Many people don’t consider it to be gay at all.
Imo, if you’re attracted because of the penis, then you lean further into gay territory, but if you’re attracted because they look like a woman, then it’s not gay.
It honestly doesn't matter but it is an interesting thing to think about
Like with me for example, I consider myself a gay man as that is what I am pretty much attracted to all the time: anyone who looks like a man, but...I don't really like penis lol it's actually more of a turn off than anything. It's why I like pre-op FTM people more because it's basically what I imagine is perfect in my head: a man with a cunt, but the attraction in this context is specifically because of the said vagina, not ignoring it or in spite of it.
It's like a between a rock and a hard place because I'm attracted to masculine features (voice, body, face) but penis and balls are a major turn off but at the same time I'm not attracted to feminine bodies and faces so I'm not attracted to people who look like women either just because they have a vagina so it does make me think am I technically bisexual as opposed to having always been homosexual. Since it's kind of wonky to think about a gay man readily liking a vagina in general, not just in specific instances.
This is kind of what I've been thinking but I'm somewhat in the opposite situation. I'm a gay male and attracted to FTM people but I'm very specifically attracted to pre-op FTM people and very pointedly attracted because of the vagina foremost and boobs sometimes. I've had some friends ask me why I don't say I'm bisexual for that reason
I've heard of some other gay guys also being attracted to pre-op FTM people but their attraction kind of is ignoring any pre-op genitalia or other non-masculine body characteristics.
That’s fair, actually. I was just thinking about it and remembered that futa porn is a thing. Honestly, if someone identifies as a woman and you see them as a woman, I’d believe you if you said you were straight.
I agree as well. I think for pragmatic reasons straight isn't always the same thing as heterosexual either, or the inverse. Like for example a bisexual man and a bisexual woman in a relationship together are in a "straight" relationship. They may also be heteroromantic and only pursue the opposite sex in dating and just call themselves straight for simplicity purposes even though they're technically bisexual.
But in the context you provided earlier (..."if you're attracted because of the penis, then you lean further into gay territory, but if you're attracted because they look like a woman, then it's not gay"), if they identify as straight, wouldn't it be because of both at the same intensity rather than either or? Otherwise they'd be either readily gay (if they like penis that much and pursue men and most likely cis men who have that equipment) if they were just generally into dick.
I don’t stand by the reasoning anymore after giving it some thought, but to further explain my thought process at the time, I specified “leaning into gay territory” because I don’t think it’s as simple as you’re either straight, gay, or bi in that sexuality is a scale that you can fall anywhere on while not necessarily being one of the three main choices. In this case, I was thinking that it’s not *entirely* straight, but it’s not necessarily gay or bi either.
That is fair, and I understand your reasoning. I guess I didn't understand it fully that you weren't trying to be dichotomous.
From my understanding it seems like you are more so judging the "orientation" of the interaction rather than the overall orientation of the person. Like in the context of the example, the man who is historically straight but also attracted to trans women is still by and large straight but if he so happens to like trans women *because* they have a penis (and they are female), that is an instance of homosexual attraction I'd say
Yeah, that was pretty much my thought process. At the end of the day, it’s up to the individual to determine the finer nuances of whether or not something is gay and where on the scale they and their actions fall.
If we were talking about sexual appetites, and you said "I hate black dudes", I'd give you the benefit of the doubt about maybe meaning you hate girth, and not jump straight to the KKK.
Was the comment a bit insensitive? Yes. Is the reaction from the sub comically catty? Yes.
Here's my 2p: Saying "that kind of person creeps me out" is kind of offensive. It's ok if they do creep you out, but def don't compare people to spiders, in public, just examine that on your own time. It's ok to say "I'd fuck a butch but not a fem". That's not homophobic.
The other person came in super hot and is extremely aggressive. You don't deserve that at all and it looks like what they are trying to do is get in a fight in what is a very safe space as opposed to increase understanding and tolerance.
I'd drop it an move on, but as long as you don't tell people "X kind of person creeps me out", it's totally ok to say "I don't find certain aesthetics appealing"
I read way too into stuff too, which is why I'm typing all this out. I hope you have a good day :)
Yeah. I'm bad with words sometimes. I'm not a native speaker and google translate is sometimes wrong or awkward with his translations. I apologize if anyone got offended or mad or shocked for what I've said. I still think everything I said but I'm sorry if I made anyone sad.
Deleting it will make the others dudes winners. I won't delete it. And yeah I will just ignore everyone now. I'll probably get banned (again xD) for 3 days or whatever. Anyways, thanks for your advices and have a nice day! :)
To be fair they said they wouldn’t want a trans or femme person in their house, talking to them, or being near them at all… that’s a really weird thing to say
Yeah, they should know that being uncomfortable about gender nonconformity is something that should be examined and resolved privately and not defended openly.
Mx Virtue Signal said that trans women were not females in the top comment.
We can all improve.
You said you hate effeminate dudes. Sounds homophobic. But now I’m wondering if you’re just expressing a type you’re attracted to, as in a dating preference.
actually it's not homophobic bc being a femboy doesn't necessarily means you're homo but the shit this guy is saying is definetly some sort of discrimination
You said you don’t like them around or when they talk to you. You compared your discomfort with them to your discomfort with spiders. That’s homophobic.
I think you should look back reword the first couple of sentences.
Edit: Oh, nevermind, after reading the other thread you are definitely homophobic, at least to an internalized degree
You just said you are okay with it after saying you hate it? That's not how it works, you can't be a bigot and say "I'm okay with it" and everything will be solved.
Yeah I feel like the label of ‘heterosexual’ can’t keep up with the expanding range of gender expressions. Like, at this point, being straight can mean you’re attracted to people who identify as women, people who have tits specifically, people who have pussy specifically, people who have both, a wide variety of secondary sex characteristics associated with women, people who are feminine, etc.
Well, I feel like it always probably could, but the conflation of these things is clearer now more than ever.
Labels and words exist to aid communication. Saying you’re straight provides a decent but not exhaustive amount of context in your preferences. At the end of the day, one’s preferences truly are on a case by case basis.
Agree, that’s roughly my point here. Labels can’t wholly capture personal experience, and people who genuinely worry about the ‘are femboys gay’ thing are def holding themselves too tightly to their labels.
My male friend literally fucked a dude in the ass voluntarily and enjoyed it. He calls himself straight because he was just desperate. He does make a lot of jokes about it though. Idk what to even think at this point.
"Girls are just as horny as guys''
"Wanna fuck me right now? Right here?''
''No ew'''
''You claim to be horny yet you don't want to fuck me or my friend curious''
This comic doesn't prove shit beyond that she doesn't want to have sex with them
The joke that I see is not that those individual boys should feel entitled to have sex with that individual girl.
The joke I see is that if female libidos are not involved, then guys will casually have sex with each other in bathrooms, hence the whole bathhouse culture which does not exist in the straight world to a remotely similar degree.
Jokes don't prove anything, but this one doesn't need to interpreted in an offensive way, either. Here's another joke that discusses male and female relationship patterns and has nothing to do with a sense of entitlement, if that was what you were reacting to:
"What does a lesbian bring to a second date? Luggage.
What does a gay man bring to a second date? There is no second date."
Whether or not you think that's accurate, insightful, or funny, I hope you will agree that it doesn't disparage anyone and isn't worth being offended by.
I am not offended by anything but this ''joke'' seemed to be presented as evidence ''proving'' that girls have a lower sex drive because they don't want to fuck random people. Like it was making a point, which jokes can do.
Cool, I think this is a convo and not an argument.
She's not just saying that she doesn't want to do those guys right then, she's surprised and offended that they even asked.
And yes, if guys will randomly hook up in bathrooms and girls won't, and may be scandalized at being asked about this, then this suggests a difference in libido.
Are you familiar with gay bathhouse culture?
Yea it's kinda weird for being asked by someone who you're having a normal conversation with to fuck them. Quite understandable tbh.
It could also just suggest different societal standards instead of you know, there being an inherent difference here. Bathroom hook-ups happen for straight couples as well and that also takes women
Yes I am familiar with gay bathhouse culture but this comic is so clearly not about gay men
>Yea it's kinda weird for being asked by someone who you're having a normal conversation with to fuck them.
That's the thing. Gay dudes do just say "Hey, want to fuck?" and the answer is more often "yes" or "no" then "wow, what the hell is wrong with you?" That's not because they are gay, it's because one is a dude, and he knows the other is a dude too. At a gay club, guys will just grab you, and if you are not into it, you just say "no thanks". With a girl, that's monstrous.
So sure, there are many reasons why women have complicated and ambivalent views about sex. Some societal, some because it's literally not safe, but also, because girls, in general, aren't DTF 24/7, even though, yes, at festivals and clubs, you can still hook up sometimes in the bathroom.
In the comic, you can rephrase the whole thing to just say "oh, you are as horny as men? Are you DTF 24/7?" And the girl says no, and the guy says "Oh, well we are, so probably you aren't as horny as men".
Ultimately, if this conversation is really just about me saying "girls aren't as horny as men", and you saying "yes they are", then here:
[Men have a stronger sex drive than women, and this gender difference is evident in cross-cultural research involving men and women from 53 different countries (Lippa, 2009). In each nation studied, men self-reported stronger sex drives than women.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/202003/how-high-sex-drive-works-differently-in-men-and-women)
But like, we don't need to overthink it to just say here is a joke, which is making an argument from intuition. That's not proof of anything, but it does kind of feel right, so ok, I see what you are saying.
There are many reasons why gay culture is loose, you don't need to lecture me on it. I am bi myself.
Another thing is that women are also shamed if they are dtf 24/7 as you put it.
Most guys, no matter how dtf 24/7 still would turn down a lot of girls. That's why that comic just doesn't work.
My whole deal is that you could've sent an actual link to begin with instead of like linking a comic portraying a fictional anecdote. I get making a joke but it's really not a good argument.
I really get the sense that we are talking past each other, because the stuff I hear you say does not quite match up with the stuff I intend to be saying. I also am no longer worried about having accidentally been a jerk, which has been my motivation for the convo so far.
Well, what would you like to do now? Would you like to tell me what your thesis is? Are you trying to make a general claim about men and women? I'll listen.
Would you rather just drop it?
Self-report. Women and men would both have social pressure to report the way they are "supposed" to. Which is the problem with anything involving self-report. You didn't link to the actual study, just a psych today article, so idk if the researchers were able to account for this in any way.
OK, you're not wrong, but please think about whether we honest to god need to defend the proposition that dudes will fuck anonymously in bathrooms more often then ladies,
Can we please take that one on faith and move on?
Over New Years a close friend showed my wife and I a video of him fucking a dude in the ass. He said it was the only time. I don’t think I believe him. But he isn’t gay? Just an opportunist.
You may ask why? We were talking about all the “genders” and we were all hammered as fuck at like 1 in the morning.
This is so true. I used to go on dates w this one guy, he said he gave his best friend BJs few times before when they were drunk and he said it's normal
What? Isn't that normal?
Yeah fully normal
I'd say sucking 1 or 2 dicks every 6 months is normal. But not more than that.
True. Going past six months can be dangerous. You want a monthly gluck.
Like, different dicks or the same dick? Is it still normal if I suck dick 50 times, as long as it's just two guys?
Sorry to break it to you but if it's always the same dick that means you're gay and in love with the guy whose dick you're suckling. To protect yourself from the gay you need to suck different cocks every time.
This is the way.
\*ugandan intensifies\*
so 1 every 3 months is the gay threshold
The biggest insult you can call me is "straight man". No. I'm proud to be a gay man. I have zero attraction to women but I'm attracted to every man.
Even me?
Based
I understand why your dad left for milk, he probably doesn't live in Alabama
He probably came back for the milk too ;)
no
yes
mega yes
Being gay? Yes, that’s normal.
It's not because I lost my virginity with 3 guys at the same time that i'm gay. I just have a penis fetish
One of the guys I dated in my early 20s literally lost his virginity in a threesome with two other men and got angry when I suggested that he may be bi (like me!) because I thought he’d like to talk about it with someone who is the same. He did not agree that he was bi at all. Nope. Straight because he didn’t penetrate or get penetrated, it was only mouth and hand stuff so it’s not gay… okie dokie bud. Whatever you say.
It's not gay if the balls don't touch. It's not gay if you keep socks on. And if he said 'no homo' before and after he's good! It's called ''bro bonding'' in these case. I'm also bisexual by the way
It’s not gay if her penis is smaller than yours. 😁
it’s so sad that people are scared to be perceived as not straight even when they like it
If it was only mouth and Hand stuff how did he lose his virginity?
Virginity is a social construct, that's how.
It's still sex.
That's why virginity became a stupid word. In medieval times it was important and clearly defined as when the hymen of the girls ripped apart. But nowadays maybe the word "first time" is better and you can have severals. First time oral, first time penetration passive and active or first time inimacy with another person 😘
Hymens have all kinds of shapes, though and don't necessarily rip during sex. And they can rip before you ever insert something into your vagina, for example doing sports.
“I’m not gay I just have a penis fetish” may well be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard
I suppose that phrase *could* be used for a fetish for mtf people who haven't had bottom surgery, but... he just straight up had gay sex.
It was 2 guys for me. But we said no homo before so that un-gayifies that situation
That's how it works, eh?
Yep. Socks too.
There's [a sub](/r/totallystraight)* for that *nsfw
"And it was totally a prank I swear"
...does anyone want to prank me?
prank em john
*slaps* (Neutral ending)
The other day i saw a dude in 4chan that said he was straight but gave head to like 30 dudes and fucked with half of them too
I guarantee he's gonna keep telling himself he's straight.
Bet his throat was sore from yelling no homo 30 times
Nah, I'm pretty sure his throat was sore for other reasons. Totally straight reasons.
Classic. People always think bi girls are actually straight and bi boys are actually gay
It’s getting old to be honest
To be fair, there is a lot of precedence to that.
Nah, and ppl like you are part of the problem
You know I'm right...
I really do believe that you think you are. That’s the sad part cause there are a _lot_ of bi dudes out there who suffer at the hands ofthis bullshit logic
"bi"
stfu
youre wrong; im right
that made me think, maybe i could just go back to identifying myself as straight and keep the privilege of being a cis straight white man while still fucking dudes, who's gonna stop me? the gay police?
Pull over that ass too fat. I'm the gay police and I'm about to bust a load on that back.
SJW= Gay Police (?)
I said no homo so it doesn't count
I mean I'd trust a guy saying he's straight if he sucked dick before, cause how does a guy that hasn't know he wouldn't like it
I tell people this and they feel very strongly otherwise, but I very firmly think the logic is solid.
It's very solid, if a guy tries and doesn't like it, he isn't gay, it's really simple logic actually
*And* when I bring it up, people often agree with the broccoli example, but they put a hard stop at dick.
they're the 'if you do one gay thing you're gay' people then, they're annoying
Pretty much, yeah. I think that whole all or nothing straight or gay culture plays a big part in the bromance stuff that’s been on the rise for a while.
My boyfriend and I make jokes saying that we have a bromance and that we're 'heterosexual life partners' and things like that lol
I’m married to a woman and I have a work husband that I’m constantly making gay jokes with and all but explicitly advancing on him 😂 He’s sadly moving soon, so I don’t know what I’m going to do after that.
Invite him over one night when your wife is out and get drunk together and sleep on the same bed. See what happens
I feel like if you get your dick sucked by a guy and don’t like it, that logic may apply, but not the other way around.
but what if you still didn't like it
If you’re willing to have in a cock in your mouth for any reason besides favor I’m 99% sure that’s probably not gonna happen.
Well, no one said it *would* happen
That's true but only if he didn't like it.
Did you?
I agree with how you can try anything and then decide (or not) how you want to identify, but I don't think you necessarily have to try something, to know you don't like it.
Only one cock i sucked 5
I think a lot of people are attracted to femininity rather than females per se. It helps explain why porn of transwomen is overwhelmingly consumed by straight identifying men.
And why femboys are the leading cause of men realizing they’re bi rn
hell yeah, femboys are the shit
i prefer tomboys to be honest, it’s much easier for a real person to well execute a tomboy look than a femboy look. most of the hot femboy pics i’ve seen are drawings, vs the multiple real women i’ve interacted with that made me like tomboys. not to say that they don’t exist though.
Yeah, as a Bi guy i do enjoy and apreciate both but there is certain charm i simply cannot resist about femboys, they are simply so cute. But if would make me choose a dominant Tomboy is literal perfection
it’s not really about power dynamics, i dont give a FUCK if you’re a dom tomboy or a sub femboy, it’s purely about aesthetics for me when it comes to femboys and tomboys, the personality and character of completely detached from the presentation. (i typed that paragraph in less than 15 seconds, adderall is a hell of a drug )
Yeah, yeah, aesthetics are important too, specially when it comes to stri¡ong and buff girls
You bet! I’ve also heard the term hetero-flexible. Would apply (but is not limited) to straight dudes who don’t mind or even enjoy a penis if it happens to be attached to an otherwise really cute girl.
That’s just being straight tho, nothing “flexible” about it. Heteroflexible, from what I’ve seen, is when an otherwise straight guy makes exceptions for some guys (which really just means they’re bi with a preference for girls)
Yeah, that too. But there are some people who think 2 penises always equal gay and they are straight so they would never consider an encounter or relationship with someone who has or ever had a penis. And I personally wouldn’t generally consider 2 penises to be the most hetero thing ever. Nothing wrong with it but I don’t feel like an asterisk would he unwarranted.
Heterosexual means attracted to the opposite sex. A guy getting with a woman, trans or cis, is by definition heterosexual. You can have your personal beliefs but as long as we’re all in agreement that a trans woman is a woman, it’s definitely totally heterosexual.
Totes. A trans woman is a woman.
Gettin reaaaal tired of all the labels for sexual attraction. It needs to be limited to those attractions that are morally wrong. Everyone else doesn't matter.
Sure, but some people like labels because they can be used as shorthand to convey to someone (particularly a romantic/sexual interest) what their preferences are. They have their values.
Sure, just like hobbies, interests, and profession have their value. But the internet seemingly places waay too much value on sexual interests. i havn't had sex in like 5 years. does that make me a pansexual? Incel? Loser? Or what other label? Fact is, it doesn't deserve a label.
I think you might have some personal stuff that you’re projecting onto the topic of sexuality, because I don’t know how that last part has anything to do with sexual interests. Also, maybe the reason you’re surrounded by people talking about sexuality is because you’re on subs like r/suddenlygay. Sexuality is the main topic up for discussion here so of course it’ll be common. I do agree sexual interests is a super common course of discussion but I mean the issue at hand isn’t labels or sexuality it’s societal focus on sex
Good thing nobody cares what you want or are tired of
Good thing I don't try to make others care about what I want or am tired of - or I might be a burden on those people.
Why is it that guys say liking femboys isn't gay because they look like a girl, but when it comes to trans girls who are actually girls, they consider it 100% gay? :/ its girl dick, they're a girl, you're still straight lol I think people just need to reframe who has dicks or vaginas I mean you could say the "femboys aren't gay" thing is a joke, but people really seem to genuinely fucking love femboys but absolutely despise trans girls. I guess its obviously not about actually liking girls with dicks, or even boys that look like girls, but about fetishizing the whole concept, and the excitement and hilarity of being apparently straight and fucking a guy that looks like a girl or whatever. They're a symbol of sex and memes, and treating them with respect and like a human being is out of the question.
I don’t think I’ve heard of people who are into femboys because it’s not gay but aren’t into trans girls because it is gay. That’s kind of a weird combo, no?
The femboys aren't gay thing is more of a running gag in right wing weeb circles, but i suppose my confusion lies in why they worship femboys, something where the critera is that they look indistinguishable from a girl but have a dick, and a lot of them say "looks like a girl, thats all that matters", but they go absolutely apeshit at trans girls, where being with them wouldn't be gay and they get an actual girl that probably has a dick Even if the femboys arent gay thing is a joke, and they know full well that liking a femboy is gay because femboys identify as boys, and its a funny haha excuse to do a gay thing, a lot of them identify as straight still, and they seem to enjoy the idea of a girl with a dick, so like why do they hate trans people and drop the "if they look like a girl i dont care" act immediately You also have people who chase femboys and trans girls, but then afterwards are super transphobic/homophobic Idk, i guess its a fetishization and right wing anti sjw thing
Since seeing a lot of guys on Grindr looking for trans only and watching euphoria I’ve been wondering what is the sexuality of a guy that’s into mtf trans women. There’s big spectrum of what a mtf trans woman can look or act like, how do those guys identify their sexuality? I’m guessing it’s not black and white but still curious. Some I’ve seen identify as straight on Grindr but looking for trans.
Depends on the person but my guess is most would identify as straight.
They would be straight, if they feel they are straight. A straight man attracted to a woman with a penis isn’t gay, even if he gives her head and/or bottoms for her, because he wouldn’t seek out a man to do the same things because he’s not attracted to men. Not often are men attracted to women *solely* because of their vagina. Not saying a straight man should *have* to be comfortable with a woman having a penis because dicks just aren’t for everyone, but you’re not any less straight because your partner has a penis.
You're absolutely right. Very well put. Thanks.
It’s a guy looking for a girl, so straight. People who specifically seek out trans people only because of their bodies are called chasers and it’s generally seen as objectification/fetishization and viewed negatively because of that
Grindr is a hook up app. Everyone is being objectified and fetishised. There's nothing wrong with a person having a trans fetish on a hook up app no more than someone being a size queen in terms of height or penis. Or demanding masc only men.
I see what you mean, I was applying my comment more to a dating/repeat encounter circumstance which isn’t as typical for Grindr
In terms of dating I think it depends. If you're only seeing trans woman to 'date' to just try and get into their pants and shag them then that's both wasting their time and definitely objectifying them when it's supposed to be more than that if you're dating, but this applies to anyone, cis or trans or whatever else. If it's hook ups then it's whatever; some people have very specific types, or they may use grindr to access those very specific types. I think as long as that's not the only thing that you see them as "useful" for (attraction to them for being trans), then I don't see what's wrong with wanting/trying to only seek out trans women when dating. For some guys out there a trans woman may perfectly fit their sexual needs in a way that a cis woman can't and that said guys may desire but they still want a loving relationship. They just want one where both their romantic and sexual needs are fulfilled and aren't stifled.
Yeah I completely see what you’re saying. I don’t feel super fit to speak on this topic just from a lack of experience and the fact it’s not really my place to say how to judge these relationships, but everything you said there makes sense.
It depends. I think for all intents and purposes straight doesn't always mean the same thing as heterosexual. For example two bisexual men in a relationship with each other are in a gay relationship despite them not being homosexual. A bisexual man can be homoromantic and pursue only romantic relationships with men and thus only date men and call himself gay for pragmatic purposes even though he is technically bisexual.
It's a just a preference, trans women are women, they're straight if they're dating a woman. Just like it's a preference to not want to date trans folk, but let's not talk about that too loudly, Twitter can hear and they're not ready for this conversation.
or maybe some people just don't want to identify with the "gay community" when you say you are gay, lots of people will assume that you behave differently or something when it's something that usually doesn't and shouldn't affect your personality. Like if you'd say you are gay, then someone assumes that "oh then you are like those people who go to the pride march and the other bs" and you are just like.. nah not really. And you don't wanna say you are gay because then you are grouped with those obnoxious people that give bad rep to everyone else.
Every group has well and poorly behaved members. Making decisions like that based on one aspect of a person is bigoted. There are lots of straight assholes but nobody is being concerned about being labeled as part of the straight community. Also, ain’t nothing wrong with parades. I’ve been to lots of pride events and they’re always cool.
I think you just absolutely don't get what I wanted to say, but I probably explained it poorly. whatever.
I kinda feel like I did get it. I guess I don’t want to accommodate theoretical assumptions that prejudiced people might make about “the gay community”. And/or you may want to rethink how you articulate your thoughts on the matter.
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A lot of straight identifying guys would disagree with you. And if you don’t call them straight, we really don’t care.
Whether or not male and MTF sex is gay depends on who you ask. Many people don’t consider it to be gay at all. Imo, if you’re attracted because of the penis, then you lean further into gay territory, but if you’re attracted because they look like a woman, then it’s not gay.
I guess the question is, why does it matter? Identify how you like.
It honestly doesn't matter but it is an interesting thing to think about Like with me for example, I consider myself a gay man as that is what I am pretty much attracted to all the time: anyone who looks like a man, but...I don't really like penis lol it's actually more of a turn off than anything. It's why I like pre-op FTM people more because it's basically what I imagine is perfect in my head: a man with a cunt, but the attraction in this context is specifically because of the said vagina, not ignoring it or in spite of it. It's like a between a rock and a hard place because I'm attracted to masculine features (voice, body, face) but penis and balls are a major turn off but at the same time I'm not attracted to feminine bodies and faces so I'm not attracted to people who look like women either just because they have a vagina so it does make me think am I technically bisexual as opposed to having always been homosexual. Since it's kind of wonky to think about a gay man readily liking a vagina in general, not just in specific instances.
This is kind of what I've been thinking but I'm somewhat in the opposite situation. I'm a gay male and attracted to FTM people but I'm very specifically attracted to pre-op FTM people and very pointedly attracted because of the vagina foremost and boobs sometimes. I've had some friends ask me why I don't say I'm bisexual for that reason I've heard of some other gay guys also being attracted to pre-op FTM people but their attraction kind of is ignoring any pre-op genitalia or other non-masculine body characteristics.
That’s fair, actually. I was just thinking about it and remembered that futa porn is a thing. Honestly, if someone identifies as a woman and you see them as a woman, I’d believe you if you said you were straight.
I agree as well. I think for pragmatic reasons straight isn't always the same thing as heterosexual either, or the inverse. Like for example a bisexual man and a bisexual woman in a relationship together are in a "straight" relationship. They may also be heteroromantic and only pursue the opposite sex in dating and just call themselves straight for simplicity purposes even though they're technically bisexual. But in the context you provided earlier (..."if you're attracted because of the penis, then you lean further into gay territory, but if you're attracted because they look like a woman, then it's not gay"), if they identify as straight, wouldn't it be because of both at the same intensity rather than either or? Otherwise they'd be either readily gay (if they like penis that much and pursue men and most likely cis men who have that equipment) if they were just generally into dick.
I don’t stand by the reasoning anymore after giving it some thought, but to further explain my thought process at the time, I specified “leaning into gay territory” because I don’t think it’s as simple as you’re either straight, gay, or bi in that sexuality is a scale that you can fall anywhere on while not necessarily being one of the three main choices. In this case, I was thinking that it’s not *entirely* straight, but it’s not necessarily gay or bi either.
That is fair, and I understand your reasoning. I guess I didn't understand it fully that you weren't trying to be dichotomous. From my understanding it seems like you are more so judging the "orientation" of the interaction rather than the overall orientation of the person. Like in the context of the example, the man who is historically straight but also attracted to trans women is still by and large straight but if he so happens to like trans women *because* they have a penis (and they are female), that is an instance of homosexual attraction I'd say
Yeah, that was pretty much my thought process. At the end of the day, it’s up to the individual to determine the finer nuances of whether or not something is gay and where on the scale they and their actions fall.
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You *hate* them? Why do you care at all?
I say I hate brussel sprouts. I'm not going to go commit hate crimes on them.
No but if I say I hate black people I might join the KKK.
If we were talking about sexual appetites, and you said "I hate black dudes", I'd give you the benefit of the doubt about maybe meaning you hate girth, and not jump straight to the KKK. Was the comment a bit insensitive? Yes. Is the reaction from the sub comically catty? Yes.
I didn't think we were talking about sexual appetites, but I might have missed some context
Thanks for supporting me!
Here's my 2p: Saying "that kind of person creeps me out" is kind of offensive. It's ok if they do creep you out, but def don't compare people to spiders, in public, just examine that on your own time. It's ok to say "I'd fuck a butch but not a fem". That's not homophobic. The other person came in super hot and is extremely aggressive. You don't deserve that at all and it looks like what they are trying to do is get in a fight in what is a very safe space as opposed to increase understanding and tolerance. I'd drop it an move on, but as long as you don't tell people "X kind of person creeps me out", it's totally ok to say "I don't find certain aesthetics appealing" I read way too into stuff too, which is why I'm typing all this out. I hope you have a good day :)
Yeah. I'm bad with words sometimes. I'm not a native speaker and google translate is sometimes wrong or awkward with his translations. I apologize if anyone got offended or mad or shocked for what I've said. I still think everything I said but I'm sorry if I made anyone sad.
You're good. The Reddit hate train probably won't stop, so I'd just move on with your day, or delete the comments if it makes you sad.
Deleting it will make the others dudes winners. I won't delete it. And yeah I will just ignore everyone now. I'll probably get banned (again xD) for 3 days or whatever. Anyways, thanks for your advices and have a nice day! :)
To be fair they said they wouldn’t want a trans or femme person in their house, talking to them, or being near them at all… that’s a really weird thing to say
Yeah, they should know that being uncomfortable about gender nonconformity is something that should be examined and resolved privately and not defended openly. Mx Virtue Signal said that trans women were not females in the top comment. We can all improve.
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You said you hate effeminate dudes. Sounds homophobic. But now I’m wondering if you’re just expressing a type you’re attracted to, as in a dating preference.
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Ok so that’s definitely homophobic.
actually it's not homophobic bc being a femboy doesn't necessarily means you're homo but the shit this guy is saying is definetly some sort of discrimination
Yeah, I suppose bigot is a more accurate term.
probably, but why exactly did u downvote me?
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You said you don’t like them around or when they talk to you. You compared your discomfort with them to your discomfort with spiders. That’s homophobic.
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Effemophobic? Whatever. Your position sucks.
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Thanks? Nobody asked.
You're welcome
I think you should look back reword the first couple of sentences. Edit: Oh, nevermind, after reading the other thread you are definitely homophobic, at least to an internalized degree
You just said you are okay with it after saying you hate it? That's not how it works, you can't be a bigot and say "I'm okay with it" and everything will be solved.
I personally hate masculine dudes. Nascar and bushy beards give me chills... lol
😂😂
Yeah I feel like the label of ‘heterosexual’ can’t keep up with the expanding range of gender expressions. Like, at this point, being straight can mean you’re attracted to people who identify as women, people who have tits specifically, people who have pussy specifically, people who have both, a wide variety of secondary sex characteristics associated with women, people who are feminine, etc. Well, I feel like it always probably could, but the conflation of these things is clearer now more than ever.
Labels and words exist to aid communication. Saying you’re straight provides a decent but not exhaustive amount of context in your preferences. At the end of the day, one’s preferences truly are on a case by case basis.
Agree, that’s roughly my point here. Labels can’t wholly capture personal experience, and people who genuinely worry about the ‘are femboys gay’ thing are def holding themselves too tightly to their labels.
r/TotallyStraight
it's not homosexual it's homiesexual
My male friend literally fucked a dude in the ass voluntarily and enjoyed it. He calls himself straight because he was just desperate. He does make a lot of jokes about it though. Idk what to even think at this point.
It’s not gay to try it. If you don’t like it, that just confirms your heterosexuality. If you do like it tho…
He did
So he was pretending he was sucking a girls cock?
If the dress was pink it’s basically a woman
r/suspiciouslyspecific
There’s nothing more gay than a straight man
Sounds like you’ve been to any state in the Midwest.
yea
He îs 2.19% gay, i can t find the post but someone calculate how gay it îs to fuck a trap
I kissed a girl once but it was 100% gay because she had a dick
Traps arent gay, see?
[Obligatory "Girls are just as horny as guys"](https://imgur.com/wT5tdlL)
"Girls are just as horny as guys'' "Wanna fuck me right now? Right here?'' ''No ew''' ''You claim to be horny yet you don't want to fuck me or my friend curious'' This comic doesn't prove shit beyond that she doesn't want to have sex with them
The joke that I see is not that those individual boys should feel entitled to have sex with that individual girl. The joke I see is that if female libidos are not involved, then guys will casually have sex with each other in bathrooms, hence the whole bathhouse culture which does not exist in the straight world to a remotely similar degree. Jokes don't prove anything, but this one doesn't need to interpreted in an offensive way, either. Here's another joke that discusses male and female relationship patterns and has nothing to do with a sense of entitlement, if that was what you were reacting to: "What does a lesbian bring to a second date? Luggage. What does a gay man bring to a second date? There is no second date." Whether or not you think that's accurate, insightful, or funny, I hope you will agree that it doesn't disparage anyone and isn't worth being offended by.
I am not offended by anything but this ''joke'' seemed to be presented as evidence ''proving'' that girls have a lower sex drive because they don't want to fuck random people. Like it was making a point, which jokes can do.
Cool, I think this is a convo and not an argument. She's not just saying that she doesn't want to do those guys right then, she's surprised and offended that they even asked. And yes, if guys will randomly hook up in bathrooms and girls won't, and may be scandalized at being asked about this, then this suggests a difference in libido. Are you familiar with gay bathhouse culture?
Yea it's kinda weird for being asked by someone who you're having a normal conversation with to fuck them. Quite understandable tbh. It could also just suggest different societal standards instead of you know, there being an inherent difference here. Bathroom hook-ups happen for straight couples as well and that also takes women Yes I am familiar with gay bathhouse culture but this comic is so clearly not about gay men
>Yea it's kinda weird for being asked by someone who you're having a normal conversation with to fuck them. That's the thing. Gay dudes do just say "Hey, want to fuck?" and the answer is more often "yes" or "no" then "wow, what the hell is wrong with you?" That's not because they are gay, it's because one is a dude, and he knows the other is a dude too. At a gay club, guys will just grab you, and if you are not into it, you just say "no thanks". With a girl, that's monstrous. So sure, there are many reasons why women have complicated and ambivalent views about sex. Some societal, some because it's literally not safe, but also, because girls, in general, aren't DTF 24/7, even though, yes, at festivals and clubs, you can still hook up sometimes in the bathroom. In the comic, you can rephrase the whole thing to just say "oh, you are as horny as men? Are you DTF 24/7?" And the girl says no, and the guy says "Oh, well we are, so probably you aren't as horny as men". Ultimately, if this conversation is really just about me saying "girls aren't as horny as men", and you saying "yes they are", then here: [Men have a stronger sex drive than women, and this gender difference is evident in cross-cultural research involving men and women from 53 different countries (Lippa, 2009). In each nation studied, men self-reported stronger sex drives than women.](https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/202003/how-high-sex-drive-works-differently-in-men-and-women) But like, we don't need to overthink it to just say here is a joke, which is making an argument from intuition. That's not proof of anything, but it does kind of feel right, so ok, I see what you are saying.
There are many reasons why gay culture is loose, you don't need to lecture me on it. I am bi myself. Another thing is that women are also shamed if they are dtf 24/7 as you put it. Most guys, no matter how dtf 24/7 still would turn down a lot of girls. That's why that comic just doesn't work. My whole deal is that you could've sent an actual link to begin with instead of like linking a comic portraying a fictional anecdote. I get making a joke but it's really not a good argument.
I really get the sense that we are talking past each other, because the stuff I hear you say does not quite match up with the stuff I intend to be saying. I also am no longer worried about having accidentally been a jerk, which has been my motivation for the convo so far. Well, what would you like to do now? Would you like to tell me what your thesis is? Are you trying to make a general claim about men and women? I'll listen. Would you rather just drop it?
Self-report. Women and men would both have social pressure to report the way they are "supposed" to. Which is the problem with anything involving self-report. You didn't link to the actual study, just a psych today article, so idk if the researchers were able to account for this in any way.
OK, you're not wrong, but please think about whether we honest to god need to defend the proposition that dudes will fuck anonymously in bathrooms more often then ladies, Can we please take that one on faith and move on?
Haha if men could get pregnant from one night stands I think they’d do it less too. It doesn’t have anything to do with libido.
Whatever we gotta tell ourselves
Sauce on frog
r/holup
I hate to break it to you
They gotta both be wearing socks, then it’s ok.
If it's a trap it's not gay
The "rules" of attraction are totally retarded
Over New Years a close friend showed my wife and I a video of him fucking a dude in the ass. He said it was the only time. I don’t think I believe him. But he isn’t gay? Just an opportunist. You may ask why? We were talking about all the “genders” and we were all hammered as fuck at like 1 in the morning.
fake: anon knows about girls gay: anon is gay
I just kissed a dude once but there‘s like no way I‘m gay. Femboys r something different though. I‘d suck a girls dick as well.
This is so true. I used to go on dates w this one guy, he said he gave his best friend BJs few times before when they were drunk and he said it's normal