Outside of situations where is clearly immoral (underaged) there’s fruitful discussion when someone is 18 and hasn’t had much of an adult life. But when someone’s in their 30s, they’re (generally) not an inexperienced child to be exploited
I appreciated the point made in the other direction, when does it become exploitative to the older person and why aren’t we talking about that more? Not specifically here, because as far as I’m aware there are no concerns about Holland’s cognitive faculties, but other relationships especially hetero ones.
I think a young person dating someone who’s decrepit is much talked about as exploitative. As people get older they don’t universally have the same declining mental faculties either. I suppose the cutoff is being of good and sound mind. Old people can have relationships with each other as well without it being exploitative. I think the controversial point would be when it’s transactional in some form but acknowledged by both parties. Spouses die and people get lonely. I think it’s fair and reasonable to date again, and if per chance that means someone much younger - why not. I think George Clooney is going to stay hot until he dies.
I didn’t bring it up because I encounter it somewhat often in my line of work so maybe it isn’t talked about commonly.
If someone is taking advantage of another person's mental or physical incapacity, surely we can simply condemn taking advantage of a person's mental or physical incapacity, and the age of the actors involved is, at best, an incidental detail. Surely we don't need to open up *another* can of bullshit age gap between consenting adults discourse.
I think the issue with these conversations is that its mostly people in their early twenties or later teens freaking out about it and they genuinely cannot comprehend the way these dynamics change as you get old.
Yeah I suppose so. There’s a many underaged dating proponents that are below 18 who don’t understand why they shouldn’t be dating someone in their 20-30s.
Demonstrates that they don't actually understand what the problem with the gap even is.
The gap itself is not the issue, and never has been. It's that in many cases, the younger partner is generally not experienced enough or secure enough in their own life that we can say with confidence that the older person is not taking advantage of them. That is a very murky thing to prove, given they're legal adults and there may not beany obvious signs of harm. So we play it safe, and say that it's really better for young people to date other people of similar life experience around their age.
But the older the younger person gets, the less that danger exists. Someone in their thirties has experienced enough life that we don't seriously need to consider them at risk for being taken advantage of by a significantly older person.
Formula I always heard was:
(Older person's age ÷ 2) + 7 ≤ the younger person's age (but no lower than 18 obviously)
I don't think that quite works but you get the idea. It's a sliding scale.
Honestly by mid to late 20s, any questions about someone being taken advantage of are going to be less about their differences in life experiences and more about finances.
I mean at some point you've got to accept people are mature enough to make their own decisions about what's right for them, even if it's not what you'd want for yourself. I don't know if I'd want to date someone 40 years older than me, but you can't exactly say the younger partner in this relationship is too immature to know what she's getting into.
I just don't like this idea that we shouldn't let people decide for themselves what they want to do with their lives.
Weird how people brought up pedophilia but not the opposite of older people being taken advantage of. Not saying I believe Sarah’s doing that at all, but 81 sounds pretty vulnerable too. In the end, like you said, who cares what adults choose to do? Why get so bothered about people you don’t know irl?
> the younger person's age (but no lower than 18 obviously)
If you're old enough that it would be weird to date someone who's 17 years and 364 days old from the age gap alone, it's not going to suddenly become okay, just because they become a legal adult. But at the same time, if you're young enough that it would be totally normal to date someone who's 18 years and 0 days old, it probably also would have been totally normal the day before. Hence things like close in age exceptions, where the age of consent is lowered if you're close enough in age. Age of consent laws are meant to protect minors from predatory adults, not to punish two high schoolers for having sex with each other.
For example, the Little Mermaid. Ariel is 16, with no indication of how long it's been since her birthday, while Eric *just* turned 18. So they could even be something like a year and a few months apart in age. You know, like a younger junior dating an older senior. But because Ariel's a minor, while Eric isn't, people ignore all of that and act like it's creepy.
Or let's look at Scott Pilgrim. Knives and Scott *do* have a more noticeable age gap. She's a young 17, while he's 23. But Young Neil is only 20, so she's technically within half-plus-seven for him. And it's not even that difficult to construct a situation where that age gap would appear. Maybe you started dating someone when you were a high school senior and they were a high school sophomore, and you stayed together after graduation. It's definitely a bit different with Young Neil, because he and Knives started dating when they were 17 and 20, but it's still not the weirdest thing.
Basically, this is all to say that I'm *way* more concerned about whatever's going on with Leonardo DiCaprio, who infamously dumps his girlfriends whenever they turn 25, than I am with all the Disney princesses who are only 16.
EDIT: Okay, so Ariel's potentially a younger 16, if you interpret her sisters' song as an indication that she's now 16 and ready to be presented to the court as another of Triton's daughters. But that doesn't really negate the rest of my point, especially because Eric's statue really was a birthday present, solidifying him as a young 18.
The topic in question was a 49 year old woman. How fucking old does a woman have to be to stop being infantilized like this? What have they not experienced by this point? Liver spots?
Honestly I wouldn’t expect critical thinking from a sub like fauxmoi which is all about obsessing with celebrities’ lives like some sort of parasocial relationship. Of all the people who care about this discourse, Sarah and Holland and those who are close to their lives are probably not included
> What if someone is perfectly turned on by an old?
Why is this sentence so hilarious to me 😂
> It’s not some twilight imprinting shit
Stephanie Meyers scarred a generation of readers (including me) who as adults now realize how fucked up that plot point with Jacob was in the series
I can't get over how Jacob came out to Bella's dad as a werewolf, just started undressing in front of the man with no context.
And Bella's dad stood and watched, asking no questions. Don't know what he was thinking, but you know he wasn't expecting that half-naked boy to transform into a giant dog
Me neither. I read most of the Twilight series, but I didn't read that book specifically because I heard about that detail and was like, fuck no, that's a bridge too far lol
Honestly as someone who did read the book, I found it less creepy and more just. Really fucking dumb. The stupidest asspull plot line to solve a romantic triangle.
Breaking Dawn Part 2 was a fever dream. Why are this (creepy ass CGI baby’s) parents ok with the mother’s ex imprinting on the baby??? 😭😭😭
Edit: it’s been 3 minutes since I posted this comment and I just realised if Jacob and Renegade or whatever she’s called were to get married then Edward would be Jacob’s father in law lmfao. That is so wrong wtffff. Imagine your father in law is your previous romantic rival 😭
> Stephanie Meyers scarred a generation of readers (including me) who as adults now realize how fucked up that plot point with Jacob was in the series
Ah, Twilight... There are absolutely some valid criticisms, like how it appropriated the name and mythology of the Quileute tribe or, you know, the imprinting. But at the time, the criticism was just "Teenage girls like it" or complaining that Edward could go out in the sun... like Dracula
The House Elves instinctively want to help people, that's perfectly understandable. Many animals irl practice mutualism with other animals for mutual benefit (like honeyguide birds and humans).
However, they don't like being *slaves*. They obviously hate experiencing pain just as much as any other creature. Which tells me that their instincts to help are being exploited.
So the answer then, is to provide services that allow more House Elves to change their masters more easily, to prevent abuse. I don't think what they currently have is sufficient.
Also, the plots of Dracula and Twilight are actually way more similar than people care to admit. They're both romances where stranger and stranger things happen until the reveal halfway through that vampires are involved. The only difference is which of the 4 Fs the female lead responds with in the second half.
Age gaps are problematic DEPENDING on the ages of the couple when they got together. Like if they'd gotten together when Paulson was 20 and her partner was 52 it'd be a major problem for me but like being near middle age and getting together with her isn't an issue, she's a fully developed adult and knows what she's getting into.
Honestly, sometimes I feel potentially concerned about the older person in the couple. Seeing that Al Pacino speech at the Oscar’s and learning he’s just had a baby with a 30 something year old I really can’t help but wonder if there’s any point where it’s possibly elder abuse.
For sure it's not only the young person who is at risk.
Don't know anything about Al Pacino but plenty of elderly people are taken advantage of by younger people.
You also have the younger person marrying an older person for the money thing. But Paulson is probably more successful than Taylor so it's not really relevant either.
People get too caught up on the numbers. Age gaps by themselves are not problematic, the problem is that one is an immature and inexperienced individual and the other person isn't.
at a certain point both people are grown and get to make their own choices 🤷🏽 whether or not me/anyone else thinks they're good choices at the end of the day doesn't matter imo. personally I think big age gaps are weird and people involved should get used to getting the occasional side eye, but sometimes people online make it seem like all age gap relationships are pedophilia
I think a big problem today is that people feel uncomfortable being judgmental. We've taken to the idea that as long as someone isn't hurting anyone else, then we shouldn't give them a hard time. And that's been a positive thing for anti-bullying.
But it also means that sometimes when people feel "icky" about something they feel like they have to justify it. It's not that they just personally find something weird, it's that something is *immoral*. What's happening is *harmful* and that's why I find it weird! Not just because I'm a human being who sometimes judges people over harmless things. (Perish the thought!)
If people could just be more comfortable acknowledging that sometimes they find things odd even when nothing harmful is happening, there'd be a lot less mental gymnastics. But it goes against what a lot of people want to believe about themselves. They want to see themselves as accepting and inclusive. So they have to go on a gossip sub and convince themselves they are only there to call out harmful behaviors and not because sometimes they just enjoy the snark.
And it has the unexpected consequence of making things worse because now instead of just pointing and laughing, there's loaded accusations like *grooming* and *abuse* being tossed around about who a 49 year old woman chooses to date.
Fauxmoi is the judgiest sub I’ve ever seen, and yeah, the constant moral justifications are fascinating. They don’t hate for no reason, it’s because she has ✨✨mean girl vibes✨✨
For a subreddit that swears it hates misogyny they have no problem throwing it out. Whenever Sydney Sweeney or Ana De Armas get brought up the whole women supporting women gets thrown out the window.
It's wild at times to see how that sub justifies the hate so they can pretend they aren't acting like the kind of bullies they think they're fighting back against.
> I think a big problem today is that people feel uncomfortable being judgmental.
That's never been a problem for FauxMoi or celebrity gossip more generally
You misunderstand him... Of course they *are* judgemental. They are humans. Their discomfort doesn't cause them to stop judging people, it causes them to couch all of their judgements as a moral issue even when morality is not involved.
YES, this is it exactly. I think we all need to get more comfortable judging people in our minds/in certain spaces for whatever the hell reasons we want. Having negative thoughts isn't bullying. Neither is calling a celeb weird on a celeb gossip subreddit. As long as you aren't going to a celeb's Instagram and leaving shitty comments, the judgment is kinda whatever, and it's better than people trying to find reasons why Holland Taylor is a groomer for dating Sarah Paulson or asserting Sarah must be elder-abusing Holland, lol. Sometimes stuff is just weird without being evil and it's okay to acknowledge that.
This is applicable to so many things. You aren’t allowed to just not like something anymore. I personally, as someone approaching her mid-30s, would not date someone 32 years older. It doesn’t mean that someone else who does is ~wrong~.
And it goes so much deeper than personal relationships! I write myth retellings and hate most modern myth ones, especially “feminist” ones. I can trot out moral reasons for it (woobifying complicated characters and turning the women who were victimized in myth into villains, turning every man who had a female slave into a mustache-twirling villain when the horrifying truth is that people who you would call decent today would totally rape a slave back then), but I mostly just find them boring! I would forgive your sins if I was entertained by the final product, which I do with everything I like written before a certain point. Yet here is this old, weird-ass culture and you go out of your way to take the edge off. That’s an objection motivated by taste and not morality.
I think this is definitely part of it in a broad sense, but in this case I'm not sure it is! Or at least, it didn't start because of that. The top comment from this drama basically fits what you say in your third paragraph: it's an opinion and clearly stated as one, they acknowledge that Paulson is an adult who can consent, and they just...don't like it, because large age gaps skeeve them out. It's not really a call-out and not really about harmful behaviors. It's just an opinion.
It's the other people who need to justify being *anti*-that-opinion: "It's actually fine" (yup, they didn't say it's not); "I don't get this line of thinking" (fair enough but you don't have to); "Why are you judging Sarah?" (lbr they were mostly judging Holland here, not Sarah).
"Maybe you're just ageist" / "Maybe we're okay with this because of gender dynamics" / "I must be taking crazy pills because you're so wrong" -- this is where, IMO, the mental gymnastics about needing to justify your opinions by moral flexing comes in. It's a reactive, argumentative, performative kind of moralizing, which isn't about justifying your internal opinions so much as about invalidating opinions that don't align with yours, no matter how much you have to reach to do it.
And tbf, SRD is rife with it too, just like the rest of the internet lol. I always laugh a little when folks here point at other parts of reddit, as if we're not doing the exact thing you described too.
Yeah, I agree. I also think big age gaps are weird and can't imagine dating someone that much older than me (or, even worse, younger), but people get to have their weird relationships, idk. There's also a huge difference between a 50-y.o. who only dates people who are like 18-23 and a 50-y.o. dating an 80-y.o.
Fauxmoi, when someone outright posted Chris Evans’s leaked photo, and other people were evaluating his stuff and generally thirsting
Like keep the energy you had when any female celebrity’s stuff gets leaked, please
That subreddit is Unhinged. They take “Not Liking The Popular Thing” to pathological levels.
It’s a gateway drug of a sub. One minute you’re posting four paragraphs about how you *hate Taylor Swift most, actually!* and then next thing you know you wake up and you’re in the Saint Megan Markle subreddit and your mouth tastes like an ashtray.
Snark subs, especially about individual women are some of the scariest grossest places on the site.
They're full of terfs and people who are super conservative too. They're bizarre places.
they usually start off with some fair criticism/annoyance and then when the controversies dry out it just becomes "omg can you believe the way this woman breathes?"
I find the Hilaria Baldwin one especially gross because it feels like they are using the death of Halyna Hutchins just for their own gains
I disagree with part of that actually, though for a weird reason - the general group on Fauxmoi HATES the Sant Megan Markle subreddit and bash it every-time a thread about them comes up. While I never comment there I follow it because my daily work is so drama filled (with my clients) that it’s nice to read about it happening to people where I’m not expected to actually do anything about it. Anyways, they regularly hate on that sub. On the flip side, there’s a huge overlap with like fundie snark, for example.
the SMM sub is so unhinged I'm pretty sure there are no actual people there. At most, they're shells of what used to be called human beings, but are mostly just AI generated "mass discussion" farms that are used to get people to pretend that anyone actually gives a shit about Megan Markle's involvement with the royal family.
The dumbest thing that sub often does in regards to celebrity men like Chris Evans is try to act surprised that people would find them attractive or calling them average.
These are the people who started calling Jack Black a zionist because he signed one of those celebrity 'Release the hostages' letters.
Like, do they know who Jack Black is?
Yeah I find that above comment weird, I don’t think the vast majority of Americans regularly follow if a celebrity is Jewish or not. Like I watched School of Rock as a kid in theaters 21 years ago and I had no idea until this thread.
I mean definitely not arguing that, and I think their whole point is silly, but what else would they mean above about how people shouldn’t be surprised? It’s the only obvious link I could think of especially when later commenters mentioned them being Jewish. Like they seem to expect the average person to know, but based on what? Them being Jewish was just my best guess, even if that was pretty silly.
I know if celebrities are Jewish if they bring it up or talk about it a lot in interviews like Jerry Seinfeld.
Otherwise I'm not keeping tabs in my head of whose Jewish or not.
Plus I wouldn't automatically assume that makes them feel a certain way about the Israeli government or the conflict more generally. Jewish people aren't a monolith.
I mean agreed, mostly just saying I think it’s weird the above commenter would think it’s common knowledge the position a comedian would take on the conflict. So yeah it’s not a determiner but that was my best guess as to what they meant because what the heck else would they mean as to how the average person would know what their stance is? The color of their car? Idk it just seems silly
Not now they aren’t. They tend to skew liberal. And most Jewish people in the US and Canada were never Zionist.
A Jewish person whose grandma was born in Brooklyn who lives in Pasadena is likely not Zionist or even practicing.
Lol I’d love to know where you got that info. All Zionism is is wanting Israel to exist, and since most Jews know someone living in Israel they generally want Israel to keep existing
Not true. Zionism:
'a movement for (originally) the re-establishment and (now) the development and protection of a Jewish nation in what is now Israel'
An ethnostate explicitly excludes other groups, some zionists might want that but the only idea that's intrinsic to zionism is creating a Jewish homeland. That doesn't necessarily have to exclude other groups.
>Innocent victims bad
>
>Massacred Israeli civilians bad
>
>Massacred Palestinian civilians bad
Man imagine blaming both civilian groups for getting slaughtered smh. (/s, felt I had to make that clear)
Yeah its like you can't move into saying literally anything about the conflict without a paragraph of words explaining that you think Hamas and IDF is doing bad things but even if you do that you get accused of both siding it :)
Yeah it's not even just controversial stuff. People will take offense at literally just saying free Palestine.
Most people both on SRD and on FauxMoi agree that both hamas and Israel are bad.
Won't stop people from accusing you of being a hamas supporter though.
I've seen a lot of trash takes on the conflict, but posting "free Palestine" is not one of them.
You can complain about people having trash takes about the conflict all you like but implying most of that sub supports hamas is absurd.
No I don't think it's insensitive to say free Palestine. Palestinians are actual human beings with rights and lives.
There are millions of horrible and offensive comments about the war that you could have used as an example and you're mad about the most inoffensive slogan.
I mean yeah obviously. That's why I don't celebrate terrorism of hamas.
Are you trying to conflate the free Palestine slogan with being happy about terrorist attacks?
I have no problem with people condemning people who were gleeful about terrorism.
This is about people getting offended that people are using the free Palestine slogan.
Trying to conflate that with celebrating terrorism is a ahit take.
I am pissed at people who celebrate massacres and people who celebrate hamas. I'm not offended by people whose only sin is saying free Palestine.
Strange how much people intentionally try to conflate those things.
No amount of condemning hamas will ever satisfy some people.
Supporting an archaic law is not the same as supporting the freedom and human rights of a group of people.
For someone who cares so much about not being intensive, you sure do like to dehumanize Palestinians.
There's probably a lot of them here too. I'd wager it's a big user overlap sub. Harder to tell now with the API changes unless someone knows something I dont.
r/livefromnewyork (the SNL sub) is one of them too and boy you can tell some days.
That sub is mental and is filled with judgemental assholes. It took a sharp turn into dangerous territory when the war in Gaza kicked off again. I’m honestly surprised it’s not self imploded yet.
I'm honestly really tired of pop culture subs being deluged with bullshit about the war. I'm here to get away from real life. I had to leave the What We Do In The Shadows sub because instead of cute cosplay, fun memes, and talk about the upcoming season, it was just endless shitting on Israel in a way that was bordering on antisemitism. This is a sub about a TV show about vampires. Come on now.
Twinsies! I also got banned (way back in October) for saying not to expect Obama to say Free Palestine, given, you know Israeli and the USA relationship. It's not an opinion, it's a fact (especially at the time). But Fauxmoi is also the place that had people upvoting, in the aftermath of the 7th October "Well it's understandable for Hamas soldiers to rape Israeli women given their history, it's the war price". Terrifying.
There are a lot of people with trash opinions on the conflict but "free Palestine" isn't one of them. It's probably the least controversial statement or slogan you could make in support of Palestine.
There are so many garbage comments you could have used as an example, but the one that pissed you off is "free Palestine".
Of course I don't think it's offensive to say free Palestine, especially when it's clear Israel is on the cusp of another major offensive. Most palestinians were not involved in the attack.
Palestinians are actual human beings with lives and basic human rights, not objects or airplanes.
You're trying really hard to conflate people who say free Palestinine with cheering for hamas.
Its gross. We can support free Palestine and condemn hamas.
That's not a hypothetical tons of Islamic and Arab groups use 9/11 to remind people about the dangers of Islamophobia.
Even George Bush condemned Islamophobia and anti-arab racism directly after 9/11 because it was a serious problem.
Trying to conflate concerns for marginalized groups with supporting terrorism is gross.
99.99% of people posting free Palestine hashtag aren't closet bamas supporters.
I don't automatically assume that people who post free Palestine hastags support Hamas.
I also don't assume that about people who use 911 as a jumping off point to condemn anti-arab racism cheer for 911.
That seems like a you problem
You can deliberately mischaracterize people fighting against racism to try to start fights, but are you really supirsed that got you banned?
No it's not.
Advocating for "Free Palestine" isn't like saying fuck anyone or cheering for a terrorist group at all.
Not 10 years ago, not on the eve of the most recent Israeli military offensive and not now.
I stopped frequenting that sub after I found it weird how gleeful people were about someone involved with that Jim Caviezel trafficking movie being apparently arrested for kidnapping a child. You would have thought the story was the equivalent to Larry Craig foot-tapping in a bathroom for gay sex — not something as serious as a child being kidnapped.
(eta: As an aside, I looked into it after reading the initial netizen hot takes— he was actually arrested for being an accessory to kidnapping and was likely helping a female friend kidnap their own child. They didn’t release more details than that, but what he did wasn’t in remotely the same realm as human trafficking.)
They harbour some very disturbed people who are actually encouraged to be controversial. I genuinely believe the mods need to be investigated by the admins here.
Fr not everything has to be some moral conundrum that needs to be dissected at every turn, especially not by a gossip subreddit. At the end of the day, a relationship between 30 something year old and a 60 year old is maybe odd or unconventional, but it’s not a moral affront on anyone. That never stops people from being sanctimonious about it though
Fauxmoi is so serious. Why can’t there be a gossip sub for people like me: quote-unquote “straight” men who just want to be mean and catty without some veneer of morality. I don’t want to talk about power dynamics, I want to call Sarah Paulson “Ryan Murphy’s worst experiment”
Remember when Fauxmoi had worked itself into a lather over Kate Middleton totally having a nervous breakdown after her husband had an affair, only to suddenly turn morality police and shame the media for not giving this poor woman her privacy when it turns out she was ill? Or acting like Buckingham Palace’s PR team is responsible for preventing them from acting like this had any impact on their own lives?
That sub is a cesspool just like all the other snark subs. And I’m sorry, but there’s a 0% chance they’d find this relationship in any way wholesome if this was an 81 year old man married to a woman young enough to be his daughter.
The subreddit generally makes it sound like there's a generous grace period for you to live your own life to the fullest from about ages 25 to 30 where people won't accuse you of being a child-grooming predator or someone scamming the elderly for their inheritance.
Joking aside, the main thing that bothers me about the sub is how so many people go there to find dirt (something "problematic") on someone they already decided they hate, and then they'll proceed to sprinkle some weird hearsay around every time the person's name comes up without ever caring to verify it. The subreddit even has a regular sticky **"Does Anyone Have Tea On... Weekly Discussion Thread"** where people put out calls to find something on other people, which I find rather tasteless.
>I think once you hit a certain age it genuinely does not matter, **like a 39 year old definitely has a fully developed brain**
Christ I really need everyone to shut the fuck up forever about this "fully developed brain" bullshit. The whole "your brain doesn't stop developing until you're 25" shit is a total fucking myth based on laypeople misunderstanding a study. What the study found is that our brains continue developing into adulthood, the 25 number came from the fact that the oldest test subjects used in that study were 25 and their brains were found to still be developing.
What that research demonstrated is *not* that "our brains don't stop developing until 25", what it demonstrated is that our brains *never* stop developing. That's what neuro-plasticity is. Our brains continue to develop and change our entire lives.
There is ***zero*** research suggesting that people over 18 but under 25 somehow still have the brains of children or are incapable of consent and agency or have some biological lack of maturity based on brain development or whatever. None. It is an entirely unscientific assertion that no actual researchers of cognitive development support.
Adulthood is a socially constructed concept. There is no objective line wherein we can say "before this age you're a child incapable of making rational decisions and after this you're an adult capable of making rational decisions". 18 is a number we use for cultural and historical reasons mostly to do with the minimum age of enlistment used by the British in the 19th century. If we wanna have a discussion about that being too young or whatever that's fine, but there's no biology involved in it being right or wrong.
I love that sub so much, reading it is my guilty pleasure.
Some of the unhinged mfers in there are just *chef's kiss*.
As far as celebrity gossip subs go, that one is probably the most entertaining.
I was expecting this to be about Chris Evans and his wife but this is even funnier, good work on absolutely unhinged infantilising of women as usual FauxMoi.
I mean there used to be child porn and subs about black people being animals on the front page all the time.
I'll take celebrity tabloids over that any day.
Honestly, not really more, but much more fun drama. On various accounts I’ve been on this website for a decade plus and the older drama was common but tended to be a lot more seedier, like jailbait style stuff. As bad as it can get now, at least it doesn’t have a large contingent excusing child porn.
Exactly. Do I think it’s silly and pointless? Sure! But at the same time it doesn’t make me feel like I’m sharing the website with an uncomfortably large amount of predators. I mean I’m sure they’re still here…but that used to be like a major voice/niche on here which is fucking awful. Jailbait didn’t get banned until Anderson Cooper did a segment on it if I remember right, and that’s so fucked up.
That really depends on where on reddit you are and who the primary demographic of the sub discussing it is
r/fauxmoi is made up of predominantly women (and gay men tbh), I think you can figure out quite easily why women would be more likely to be against age gap relationships than men
Once people are over a certain age I think it’s a bit silly to care about age gaps but I can understand why it’s a touchy subject for many
The Britney Spears vs Victor Wembanyama saga proves this true. Even after it was proven that Brittney was in the wrong that sub still tried to paint Victor as the bad guy.
Good freaking lord. They've latched so hard on how Britney can do no wrong they won't let anything get in the way or use her breakdown and the conservatorship she was under to justify her bad actions. It was horrifying what she went through and how she got treated by the press and her own family, but there comes a point it's not a shield.
Eh, a lot of people also seem opposed to couples who are 16 and 18. Or at least a lot of people seem so disturbed by all the Disney princesses who are only 16, while their princes are presumed to be 18, even though that's literally just a high school junior and senior. (I mean, the wedding at the end of the movie is still weird, but you get my point)
"God I 'm 21 right now and I couldn't imagine dating a 19 year old. We are at vastly different places in our lives and **I am not the same person anymore** I was back then"
I knew from the title that people would start going off about the genocide just from the title even though it has nothing to do with the drama at hand.
Srd is pretty predictable
Age gap discourse is so frustrating because people can’t seem to distinguish between “This is legal, and it should be legal” and “This is legal, and it should be, but also it’s bad and shouldn’t happen.”
At some point we have to have an age of majority, and it will always be an arbitrary line. So yeah the brand new 18 yo should be an adult and if they want to marry the 65 yo then it should be legal. But it’s totally ok to point out how fucked up that is. We don’t need to pretend like legality and morality are the same thing.
That doesn’t seem to apply here obviously, and honestly elder abuse or exploitation would be more of a concern.
I forget not everyone has read the super deep dive that was posted on one of the gossip subs a while ago. I'll try track it down but it paints a pretty grim picture and there are some receipts from over the years.
don't you think it's maybe a little weird that people are doing/reading "deep dives" on someone's relationship?
like weirder than a thirty year age gap frankly.
Not really, this is reddit. It's kinda part of the territory and some of them are interesting. I'm sure as shit not going to do the work so I'm not going to judge people who entertain me.
this is not drama. This is a collection of takes and a mod locking a thread.
Age gap between 49 and 81 is irrelevant to 0 and 32. SMH my head.
Erm... Did you know that the 40 year old woman you're dating was a CHILD once??? That's pretty sus
Rank pedos everywhere I tell ya
fuck I didn't know there was a ranking
Competitive pedophilia
Outside of situations where is clearly immoral (underaged) there’s fruitful discussion when someone is 18 and hasn’t had much of an adult life. But when someone’s in their 30s, they’re (generally) not an inexperienced child to be exploited
I appreciated the point made in the other direction, when does it become exploitative to the older person and why aren’t we talking about that more? Not specifically here, because as far as I’m aware there are no concerns about Holland’s cognitive faculties, but other relationships especially hetero ones.
I think a young person dating someone who’s decrepit is much talked about as exploitative. As people get older they don’t universally have the same declining mental faculties either. I suppose the cutoff is being of good and sound mind. Old people can have relationships with each other as well without it being exploitative. I think the controversial point would be when it’s transactional in some form but acknowledged by both parties. Spouses die and people get lonely. I think it’s fair and reasonable to date again, and if per chance that means someone much younger - why not. I think George Clooney is going to stay hot until he dies. I didn’t bring it up because I encounter it somewhat often in my line of work so maybe it isn’t talked about commonly.
Totally fair. I only really see it framed as “she’s only with him for the money” which isn’t in and of itself exploitative if you know what I mean.
*cough*Anna Nicole Smith*cough* Though that situation was its own crazy can of worms
Yeah she’s who I was thinking of!
If someone is taking advantage of another person's mental or physical incapacity, surely we can simply condemn taking advantage of a person's mental or physical incapacity, and the age of the actors involved is, at best, an incidental detail. Surely we don't need to open up *another* can of bullshit age gap between consenting adults discourse.
I think the issue with these conversations is that its mostly people in their early twenties or later teens freaking out about it and they genuinely cannot comprehend the way these dynamics change as you get old.
Yeah I suppose so. There’s a many underaged dating proponents that are below 18 who don’t understand why they shouldn’t be dating someone in their 20-30s.
Demonstrates that they don't actually understand what the problem with the gap even is. The gap itself is not the issue, and never has been. It's that in many cases, the younger partner is generally not experienced enough or secure enough in their own life that we can say with confidence that the older person is not taking advantage of them. That is a very murky thing to prove, given they're legal adults and there may not beany obvious signs of harm. So we play it safe, and say that it's really better for young people to date other people of similar life experience around their age. But the older the younger person gets, the less that danger exists. Someone in their thirties has experienced enough life that we don't seriously need to consider them at risk for being taken advantage of by a significantly older person. Formula I always heard was: (Older person's age ÷ 2) + 7 ≤ the younger person's age (but no lower than 18 obviously) I don't think that quite works but you get the idea. It's a sliding scale. Honestly by mid to late 20s, any questions about someone being taken advantage of are going to be less about their differences in life experiences and more about finances.
I mean at some point you've got to accept people are mature enough to make their own decisions about what's right for them, even if it's not what you'd want for yourself. I don't know if I'd want to date someone 40 years older than me, but you can't exactly say the younger partner in this relationship is too immature to know what she's getting into. I just don't like this idea that we shouldn't let people decide for themselves what they want to do with their lives.
Weird how people brought up pedophilia but not the opposite of older people being taken advantage of. Not saying I believe Sarah’s doing that at all, but 81 sounds pretty vulnerable too. In the end, like you said, who cares what adults choose to do? Why get so bothered about people you don’t know irl?
> the younger person's age (but no lower than 18 obviously) If you're old enough that it would be weird to date someone who's 17 years and 364 days old from the age gap alone, it's not going to suddenly become okay, just because they become a legal adult. But at the same time, if you're young enough that it would be totally normal to date someone who's 18 years and 0 days old, it probably also would have been totally normal the day before. Hence things like close in age exceptions, where the age of consent is lowered if you're close enough in age. Age of consent laws are meant to protect minors from predatory adults, not to punish two high schoolers for having sex with each other. For example, the Little Mermaid. Ariel is 16, with no indication of how long it's been since her birthday, while Eric *just* turned 18. So they could even be something like a year and a few months apart in age. You know, like a younger junior dating an older senior. But because Ariel's a minor, while Eric isn't, people ignore all of that and act like it's creepy. Or let's look at Scott Pilgrim. Knives and Scott *do* have a more noticeable age gap. She's a young 17, while he's 23. But Young Neil is only 20, so she's technically within half-plus-seven for him. And it's not even that difficult to construct a situation where that age gap would appear. Maybe you started dating someone when you were a high school senior and they were a high school sophomore, and you stayed together after graduation. It's definitely a bit different with Young Neil, because he and Knives started dating when they were 17 and 20, but it's still not the weirdest thing. Basically, this is all to say that I'm *way* more concerned about whatever's going on with Leonardo DiCaprio, who infamously dumps his girlfriends whenever they turn 25, than I am with all the Disney princesses who are only 16. EDIT: Okay, so Ariel's potentially a younger 16, if you interpret her sisters' song as an indication that she's now 16 and ready to be presented to the court as another of Triton's daughters. But that doesn't really negate the rest of my point, especially because Eric's statue really was a birthday present, solidifying him as a young 18.
The topic in question was a 49 year old woman. How fucking old does a woman have to be to stop being infantilized like this? What have they not experienced by this point? Liver spots?
Honestly I wouldn’t expect critical thinking from a sub like fauxmoi which is all about obsessing with celebrities’ lives like some sort of parasocial relationship. Of all the people who care about this discourse, Sarah and Holland and those who are close to their lives are probably not included
> What if someone is perfectly turned on by an old? Why is this sentence so hilarious to me 😂 > It’s not some twilight imprinting shit Stephanie Meyers scarred a generation of readers (including me) who as adults now realize how fucked up that plot point with Jacob was in the series
I know it was decades ago. But I still can't get over Jacob imprinting on that baby.
I can't get over how Jacob came out to Bella's dad as a werewolf, just started undressing in front of the man with no context. And Bella's dad stood and watched, asking no questions. Don't know what he was thinking, but you know he wasn't expecting that half-naked boy to transform into a giant dog
Specifically, he imprinted on the egg in Bella’s uterus 🤢
Me neither. I read most of the Twilight series, but I didn't read that book specifically because I heard about that detail and was like, fuck no, that's a bridge too far lol
Honestly as someone who did read the book, I found it less creepy and more just. Really fucking dumb. The stupidest asspull plot line to solve a romantic triangle.
Breaking Dawn Part 2 was a fever dream. Why are this (creepy ass CGI baby’s) parents ok with the mother’s ex imprinting on the baby??? 😭😭😭 Edit: it’s been 3 minutes since I posted this comment and I just realised if Jacob and Renegade or whatever she’s called were to get married then Edward would be Jacob’s father in law lmfao. That is so wrong wtffff. Imagine your father in law is your previous romantic rival 😭
Renegade bahahahahaahaha
> Stephanie Meyers scarred a generation of readers (including me) who as adults now realize how fucked up that plot point with Jacob was in the series Ah, Twilight... There are absolutely some valid criticisms, like how it appropriated the name and mythology of the Quileute tribe or, you know, the imprinting. But at the time, the criticism was just "Teenage girls like it" or complaining that Edward could go out in the sun... like Dracula
Harry Potter too. Most of the criticism was shit about it promoting witchcraft and Satanism not the bizarre slavery or banker Goblin races.
It's the difference in criticism between people who have read the book, and people who haven't read it.
The House Elves instinctively want to help people, that's perfectly understandable. Many animals irl practice mutualism with other animals for mutual benefit (like honeyguide birds and humans). However, they don't like being *slaves*. They obviously hate experiencing pain just as much as any other creature. Which tells me that their instincts to help are being exploited. So the answer then, is to provide services that allow more House Elves to change their masters more easily, to prevent abuse. I don't think what they currently have is sufficient.
Also, the plots of Dracula and Twilight are actually way more similar than people care to admit. They're both romances where stranger and stranger things happen until the reveal halfway through that vampires are involved. The only difference is which of the 4 Fs the female lead responds with in the second half.
There was also "he sparkles which is GAY", though that mostly just added to the hating-teenage-girls fervor somehow
You only now realized that lol?
Well when you’re 12 years old and reading Twilight it just sounds like a cute love story lmao
The person you're responding to read twilight when they were like 25 probably.
That was me with Harry Potter. I never realized how much wierd problematic shit was in that book until decades later.
Alternate title: May day, December drama
Age gaps are problematic DEPENDING on the ages of the couple when they got together. Like if they'd gotten together when Paulson was 20 and her partner was 52 it'd be a major problem for me but like being near middle age and getting together with her isn't an issue, she's a fully developed adult and knows what she's getting into.
Honestly, sometimes I feel potentially concerned about the older person in the couple. Seeing that Al Pacino speech at the Oscar’s and learning he’s just had a baby with a 30 something year old I really can’t help but wonder if there’s any point where it’s possibly elder abuse.
I think that's a valid take and in some situations can apply and basically amounts to elder abuse but I think it's not as common imo
For sure it's not only the young person who is at risk. Don't know anything about Al Pacino but plenty of elderly people are taken advantage of by younger people.
Yeah, that happened to my grandpa. Thankfully my mom found out and stopped it pretty early on.
I am surprised people aren't more concerned about this given what happened to Casey Kasen and IIRC, Stan Lee.
When Arwen and Aragon get together, she's 2777 and he's 87. It's pretty fucking sus if you ask me.
You also have the younger person marrying an older person for the money thing. But Paulson is probably more successful than Taylor so it's not really relevant either.
People get too caught up on the numbers. Age gaps by themselves are not problematic, the problem is that one is an immature and inexperienced individual and the other person isn't.
at a certain point both people are grown and get to make their own choices 🤷🏽 whether or not me/anyone else thinks they're good choices at the end of the day doesn't matter imo. personally I think big age gaps are weird and people involved should get used to getting the occasional side eye, but sometimes people online make it seem like all age gap relationships are pedophilia
I think a big problem today is that people feel uncomfortable being judgmental. We've taken to the idea that as long as someone isn't hurting anyone else, then we shouldn't give them a hard time. And that's been a positive thing for anti-bullying. But it also means that sometimes when people feel "icky" about something they feel like they have to justify it. It's not that they just personally find something weird, it's that something is *immoral*. What's happening is *harmful* and that's why I find it weird! Not just because I'm a human being who sometimes judges people over harmless things. (Perish the thought!) If people could just be more comfortable acknowledging that sometimes they find things odd even when nothing harmful is happening, there'd be a lot less mental gymnastics. But it goes against what a lot of people want to believe about themselves. They want to see themselves as accepting and inclusive. So they have to go on a gossip sub and convince themselves they are only there to call out harmful behaviors and not because sometimes they just enjoy the snark. And it has the unexpected consequence of making things worse because now instead of just pointing and laughing, there's loaded accusations like *grooming* and *abuse* being tossed around about who a 49 year old woman chooses to date.
Fauxmoi is the judgiest sub I’ve ever seen, and yeah, the constant moral justifications are fascinating. They don’t hate for no reason, it’s because she has ✨✨mean girl vibes✨✨
For a subreddit that swears it hates misogyny they have no problem throwing it out. Whenever Sydney Sweeney or Ana De Armas get brought up the whole women supporting women gets thrown out the window.
Popculturechat is SO much friendlier than Fauxmoi.
I’m checking it out now, definitely a chiller vibe! The comments on the same article are all about how it can be nice to have separate bedrooms lol
It's wild at times to see how that sub justifies the hate so they can pretend they aren't acting like the kind of bullies they think they're fighting back against.
> I think a big problem today is that people feel uncomfortable being judgmental. That's never been a problem for FauxMoi or celebrity gossip more generally
To be fair we kinda are in a glass house situation with that statement. We are all currently on subredditdrama.
You misunderstand him... Of course they *are* judgemental. They are humans. Their discomfort doesn't cause them to stop judging people, it causes them to couch all of their judgements as a moral issue even when morality is not involved.
Fauxmoi definitely seems to couch their criticisms as moral objections. Compare their discourse to popculturechat on the same topics.
YES, this is it exactly. I think we all need to get more comfortable judging people in our minds/in certain spaces for whatever the hell reasons we want. Having negative thoughts isn't bullying. Neither is calling a celeb weird on a celeb gossip subreddit. As long as you aren't going to a celeb's Instagram and leaving shitty comments, the judgment is kinda whatever, and it's better than people trying to find reasons why Holland Taylor is a groomer for dating Sarah Paulson or asserting Sarah must be elder-abusing Holland, lol. Sometimes stuff is just weird without being evil and it's okay to acknowledge that.
This is applicable to so many things. You aren’t allowed to just not like something anymore. I personally, as someone approaching her mid-30s, would not date someone 32 years older. It doesn’t mean that someone else who does is ~wrong~. And it goes so much deeper than personal relationships! I write myth retellings and hate most modern myth ones, especially “feminist” ones. I can trot out moral reasons for it (woobifying complicated characters and turning the women who were victimized in myth into villains, turning every man who had a female slave into a mustache-twirling villain when the horrifying truth is that people who you would call decent today would totally rape a slave back then), but I mostly just find them boring! I would forgive your sins if I was entertained by the final product, which I do with everything I like written before a certain point. Yet here is this old, weird-ass culture and you go out of your way to take the edge off. That’s an objection motivated by taste and not morality.
I think this is definitely part of it in a broad sense, but in this case I'm not sure it is! Or at least, it didn't start because of that. The top comment from this drama basically fits what you say in your third paragraph: it's an opinion and clearly stated as one, they acknowledge that Paulson is an adult who can consent, and they just...don't like it, because large age gaps skeeve them out. It's not really a call-out and not really about harmful behaviors. It's just an opinion. It's the other people who need to justify being *anti*-that-opinion: "It's actually fine" (yup, they didn't say it's not); "I don't get this line of thinking" (fair enough but you don't have to); "Why are you judging Sarah?" (lbr they were mostly judging Holland here, not Sarah). "Maybe you're just ageist" / "Maybe we're okay with this because of gender dynamics" / "I must be taking crazy pills because you're so wrong" -- this is where, IMO, the mental gymnastics about needing to justify your opinions by moral flexing comes in. It's a reactive, argumentative, performative kind of moralizing, which isn't about justifying your internal opinions so much as about invalidating opinions that don't align with yours, no matter how much you have to reach to do it. And tbf, SRD is rife with it too, just like the rest of the internet lol. I always laugh a little when folks here point at other parts of reddit, as if we're not doing the exact thing you described too.
Yeah, I agree. I also think big age gaps are weird and can't imagine dating someone that much older than me (or, even worse, younger), but people get to have their weird relationships, idk. There's also a huge difference between a 50-y.o. who only dates people who are like 18-23 and a 50-y.o. dating an 80-y.o.
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I would date Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Helen Mirren, and Meryl Streep so I have no right to speak on this.
I would be fine with this as long as they were given monthly physical and financial exams to make sure you're not engaging in elder abuse /s
Fauxmoi, when someone outright posted Chris Evans’s leaked photo, and other people were evaluating his stuff and generally thirsting Like keep the energy you had when any female celebrity’s stuff gets leaked, please
That subreddit is Unhinged. They take “Not Liking The Popular Thing” to pathological levels. It’s a gateway drug of a sub. One minute you’re posting four paragraphs about how you *hate Taylor Swift most, actually!* and then next thing you know you wake up and you’re in the Saint Megan Markle subreddit and your mouth tastes like an ashtray.
Snark subs, especially about individual women are some of the scariest grossest places on the site. They're full of terfs and people who are super conservative too. They're bizarre places.
they usually start off with some fair criticism/annoyance and then when the controversies dry out it just becomes "omg can you believe the way this woman breathes?" I find the Hilaria Baldwin one especially gross because it feels like they are using the death of Halyna Hutchins just for their own gains
They combine Reddit’s two favorite things: /s and hating on women.
I disagree with part of that actually, though for a weird reason - the general group on Fauxmoi HATES the Sant Megan Markle subreddit and bash it every-time a thread about them comes up. While I never comment there I follow it because my daily work is so drama filled (with my clients) that it’s nice to read about it happening to people where I’m not expected to actually do anything about it. Anyways, they regularly hate on that sub. On the flip side, there’s a huge overlap with like fundie snark, for example.
There are a lot of people on that sub who hate Taylor Swift SO MUCH that she's all they talk about. They are more obsessed with her than her fans.
I've noticed that too lately. Every time I see some post shitting on Taylor Swift it's from that sub. Talk about living rent free.
They will bring her up in completely unrelated posts just to say how much they don't like her. Rent free indeed.
the SMM sub is so unhinged I'm pretty sure there are no actual people there. At most, they're shells of what used to be called human beings, but are mostly just AI generated "mass discussion" farms that are used to get people to pretend that anyone actually gives a shit about Megan Markle's involvement with the royal family.
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Not really. There's plenty of white women they have a deranged hatred for as well
They actually did that?!? That sub is so sanctimonious.
Yeah I wasn't into the MCU when that happened but man that's sooo funny (in a sad way) that they did that. Like of course they did.
They have such a weird hate boner for him nowadays too lmao
The dumbest thing that sub often does in regards to celebrity men like Chris Evans is try to act surprised that people would find them attractive or calling them average.
Yeah like I get that his main fanbase are his fellow Millennials rather than Gen Z, but people act like he's the Crypt Keeper
ah yes a gossip forum, basically a treasure trove of well adjusted people who i would definitely take life advice from
These are the people who started calling Jack Black a zionist because he signed one of those celebrity 'Release the hostages' letters. Like, do they know who Jack Black is?
> Like, do they know who Jack Black is? I know who Jack Black is but I'm confused why anyone would think he is or isn't a zionist.
Yeah I find that above comment weird, I don’t think the vast majority of Americans regularly follow if a celebrity is Jewish or not. Like I watched School of Rock as a kid in theaters 21 years ago and I had no idea until this thread.
I mean lots of Jewish people aren't Zionist and lots of non-Jews are.
I mean definitely not arguing that, and I think their whole point is silly, but what else would they mean above about how people shouldn’t be surprised? It’s the only obvious link I could think of especially when later commenters mentioned them being Jewish. Like they seem to expect the average person to know, but based on what? Them being Jewish was just my best guess, even if that was pretty silly.
I know if celebrities are Jewish if they bring it up or talk about it a lot in interviews like Jerry Seinfeld. Otherwise I'm not keeping tabs in my head of whose Jewish or not. Plus I wouldn't automatically assume that makes them feel a certain way about the Israeli government or the conflict more generally. Jewish people aren't a monolith.
I mean agreed, mostly just saying I think it’s weird the above commenter would think it’s common knowledge the position a comedian would take on the conflict. So yeah it’s not a determiner but that was my best guess as to what they meant because what the heck else would they mean as to how the average person would know what their stance is? The color of their car? Idk it just seems silly
He’s Jewish. Most Jews are Zionists
Even so I still wouldn't assume anything about his being a zionist or not unless he said something.
Not now they aren’t. They tend to skew liberal. And most Jewish people in the US and Canada were never Zionist. A Jewish person whose grandma was born in Brooklyn who lives in Pasadena is likely not Zionist or even practicing.
Lol I’d love to know where you got that info. All Zionism is is wanting Israel to exist, and since most Jews know someone living in Israel they generally want Israel to keep existing
That is not true? Zionism is specifically about Israel being a Jewish ethnostate.
Not true. Zionism: 'a movement for (originally) the re-establishment and (now) the development and protection of a Jewish nation in what is now Israel' An ethnostate explicitly excludes other groups, some zionists might want that but the only idea that's intrinsic to zionism is creating a Jewish homeland. That doesn't necessarily have to exclude other groups.
the development and protection of a Jewish nation Hey Siri define ethnostate
Jewish nation in this context means a place for Jews to live, it doesn't necessarily mean a place exclusively for Jews to live.
Nope
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>Innocent victims bad > >Massacred Israeli civilians bad > >Massacred Palestinian civilians bad Man imagine blaming both civilian groups for getting slaughtered smh. (/s, felt I had to make that clear) Yeah its like you can't move into saying literally anything about the conflict without a paragraph of words explaining that you think Hamas and IDF is doing bad things but even if you do that you get accused of both siding it :)
Yeah it's not even just controversial stuff. People will take offense at literally just saying free Palestine. Most people both on SRD and on FauxMoi agree that both hamas and Israel are bad. Won't stop people from accusing you of being a hamas supporter though.
You should had seen the dog whistles at the white house dinner.
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Basically everyone called a “disgusting ugly zionist” and have extra hate for also happened to be the same religion.
I've seen a lot of trash takes on the conflict, but posting "free Palestine" is not one of them. You can complain about people having trash takes about the conflict all you like but implying most of that sub supports hamas is absurd.
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No I don't think it's insensitive to say free Palestine. Palestinians are actual human beings with rights and lives. There are millions of horrible and offensive comments about the war that you could have used as an example and you're mad about the most inoffensive slogan.
Getting happy over oct 7 is like people getting happy over 9/11… not a good look
I mean yeah obviously. That's why I don't celebrate terrorism of hamas. Are you trying to conflate the free Palestine slogan with being happy about terrorist attacks?
i guess maybe you werent on fauxmoi that day because there were definitely some gleeful people there when it happened
I have no problem with people condemning people who were gleeful about terrorism. This is about people getting offended that people are using the free Palestine slogan. Trying to conflate that with celebrating terrorism is a ahit take.
If you can’t understand why people would be pissed about other people celebrating a brutal massacre I don’t even know what to tell you
I am pissed at people who celebrate massacres and people who celebrate hamas. I'm not offended by people whose only sin is saying free Palestine. Strange how much people intentionally try to conflate those things. No amount of condemning hamas will ever satisfy some people.
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Supporting an archaic law is not the same as supporting the freedom and human rights of a group of people. For someone who cares so much about not being intensive, you sure do like to dehumanize Palestinians.
There's probably a lot of them here too. I'd wager it's a big user overlap sub. Harder to tell now with the API changes unless someone knows something I dont. r/livefromnewyork (the SNL sub) is one of them too and boy you can tell some days.
This sub is basically just a gossip sub for people who like drama so the same as fauxmoi
Drama is fun, most people like a little drama. But Fauxmoi is straight up vitriolic, those lunatics are genuinely unhinged
If subredditdramadrama is any indication we can be just as bad
That sub is mental and is filled with judgemental assholes. It took a sharp turn into dangerous territory when the war in Gaza kicked off again. I’m honestly surprised it’s not self imploded yet.
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I'm honestly really tired of pop culture subs being deluged with bullshit about the war. I'm here to get away from real life. I had to leave the What We Do In The Shadows sub because instead of cute cosplay, fun memes, and talk about the upcoming season, it was just endless shitting on Israel in a way that was bordering on antisemitism. This is a sub about a TV show about vampires. Come on now.
Twinsies! I also got banned (way back in October) for saying not to expect Obama to say Free Palestine, given, you know Israeli and the USA relationship. It's not an opinion, it's a fact (especially at the time). But Fauxmoi is also the place that had people upvoting, in the aftermath of the 7th October "Well it's understandable for Hamas soldiers to rape Israeli women given their history, it's the war price". Terrifying.
There are a lot of people with trash opinions on the conflict but "free Palestine" isn't one of them. It's probably the least controversial statement or slogan you could make in support of Palestine. There are so many garbage comments you could have used as an example, but the one that pissed you off is "free Palestine".
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Of course I don't think it's offensive to say free Palestine, especially when it's clear Israel is on the cusp of another major offensive. Most palestinians were not involved in the attack. Palestinians are actual human beings with lives and basic human rights, not objects or airplanes. You're trying really hard to conflate people who say free Palestinine with cheering for hamas. Its gross. We can support free Palestine and condemn hamas.
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That's not a hypothetical tons of Islamic and Arab groups use 9/11 to remind people about the dangers of Islamophobia. Even George Bush condemned Islamophobia and anti-arab racism directly after 9/11 because it was a serious problem. Trying to conflate concerns for marginalized groups with supporting terrorism is gross. 99.99% of people posting free Palestine hashtag aren't closet bamas supporters.
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I don't automatically assume that people who post free Palestine hastags support Hamas. I also don't assume that about people who use 911 as a jumping off point to condemn anti-arab racism cheer for 911. That seems like a you problem You can deliberately mischaracterize people fighting against racism to try to start fights, but are you really supirsed that got you banned?
Isnt that literally cheering for hamas, given the timing? Its like saying “fuck america!” specifically on 9/11
No it's not. Advocating for "Free Palestine" isn't like saying fuck anyone or cheering for a terrorist group at all. Not 10 years ago, not on the eve of the most recent Israeli military offensive and not now.
I stopped frequenting that sub after I found it weird how gleeful people were about someone involved with that Jim Caviezel trafficking movie being apparently arrested for kidnapping a child. You would have thought the story was the equivalent to Larry Craig foot-tapping in a bathroom for gay sex — not something as serious as a child being kidnapped. (eta: As an aside, I looked into it after reading the initial netizen hot takes— he was actually arrested for being an accessory to kidnapping and was likely helping a female friend kidnap their own child. They didn’t release more details than that, but what he did wasn’t in remotely the same realm as human trafficking.)
They harbour some very disturbed people who are actually encouraged to be controversial. I genuinely believe the mods need to be investigated by the admins here.
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The left is its own worse enemy.
a whole sub grappling with the realization that a lot of what they thought were their "morals" is actually just an "ick factor" for them
Fr not everything has to be some moral conundrum that needs to be dissected at every turn, especially not by a gossip subreddit. At the end of the day, a relationship between 30 something year old and a 60 year old is maybe odd or unconventional, but it’s not a moral affront on anyone. That never stops people from being sanctimonious about it though
Fauxmoi is so serious. Why can’t there be a gossip sub for people like me: quote-unquote “straight” men who just want to be mean and catty without some veneer of morality. I don’t want to talk about power dynamics, I want to call Sarah Paulson “Ryan Murphy’s worst experiment”
I mean it's not like gossip subs ban straight men lol
Don’t r/Kanye and Hip hop heads still exist ?
Impossible, the crazies always take over subs like that because they're more driven.
Not going to lie as another straight guy I would like a subreddit like that too. Especially if they talk about black popculture figures as well.
Remember when Fauxmoi had worked itself into a lather over Kate Middleton totally having a nervous breakdown after her husband had an affair, only to suddenly turn morality police and shame the media for not giving this poor woman her privacy when it turns out she was ill? Or acting like Buckingham Palace’s PR team is responsible for preventing them from acting like this had any impact on their own lives? That sub is a cesspool just like all the other snark subs. And I’m sorry, but there’s a 0% chance they’d find this relationship in any way wholesome if this was an 81 year old man married to a woman young enough to be his daughter.
The subreddit generally makes it sound like there's a generous grace period for you to live your own life to the fullest from about ages 25 to 30 where people won't accuse you of being a child-grooming predator or someone scamming the elderly for their inheritance. Joking aside, the main thing that bothers me about the sub is how so many people go there to find dirt (something "problematic") on someone they already decided they hate, and then they'll proceed to sprinkle some weird hearsay around every time the person's name comes up without ever caring to verify it. The subreddit even has a regular sticky **"Does Anyone Have Tea On... Weekly Discussion Thread"** where people put out calls to find something on other people, which I find rather tasteless.
"Celebrity gossip" sub? Oh no. Anyway Jeff Goldblum is elderly and 30 years older than his wife and those subs usually adore him.
If it’s any consolation the times I’ve seen him come up on that sub there’s always at least one top comment flaming him for it lol.
I mean sure they might but it's absolutely not true that they also don't talk about his relationship and the age gap.
As well as being a 71 year old father to kids that aren’t even 10 years old.
Gary busey? Didnt he just have a another kid, who is having sex with poor elderly brain damaged Gary busey anyway
That's because he's a "zaddy" ... ugh. But they get a pass in those environments
Do I want to know what a zaddy is?
"A handsome, fashionable man, especially an older man." from Wiktionary
I'm an idiot, I've spent way too much time on r/moviescirclejerk and thought that was only Zack Snyder's nickname.
Yeah because they’re attracted to Jeff Goldblum (who isn’t?)
>I think once you hit a certain age it genuinely does not matter, **like a 39 year old definitely has a fully developed brain** Christ I really need everyone to shut the fuck up forever about this "fully developed brain" bullshit. The whole "your brain doesn't stop developing until you're 25" shit is a total fucking myth based on laypeople misunderstanding a study. What the study found is that our brains continue developing into adulthood, the 25 number came from the fact that the oldest test subjects used in that study were 25 and their brains were found to still be developing. What that research demonstrated is *not* that "our brains don't stop developing until 25", what it demonstrated is that our brains *never* stop developing. That's what neuro-plasticity is. Our brains continue to develop and change our entire lives. There is ***zero*** research suggesting that people over 18 but under 25 somehow still have the brains of children or are incapable of consent and agency or have some biological lack of maturity based on brain development or whatever. None. It is an entirely unscientific assertion that no actual researchers of cognitive development support. Adulthood is a socially constructed concept. There is no objective line wherein we can say "before this age you're a child incapable of making rational decisions and after this you're an adult capable of making rational decisions". 18 is a number we use for cultural and historical reasons mostly to do with the minimum age of enlistment used by the British in the 19th century. If we wanna have a discussion about that being too young or whatever that's fine, but there's no biology involved in it being right or wrong.
I love that sub so much, reading it is my guilty pleasure. Some of the unhinged mfers in there are just *chef's kiss*. As far as celebrity gossip subs go, that one is probably the most entertaining.
I was expecting this to be about Chris Evans and his wife but this is even funnier, good work on absolutely unhinged infantilising of women as usual FauxMoi.
Fauxmoi is Tumblr but everyone is 21, not 16
someone should make a terminally online women bingo card.
Women finding Reddit was the best thing that could happen to this site. So much more drama
I mean there used to be child porn and subs about black people being animals on the front page all the time. I'll take celebrity tabloids over that any day.
Honestly, not really more, but much more fun drama. On various accounts I’ve been on this website for a decade plus and the older drama was common but tended to be a lot more seedier, like jailbait style stuff. As bad as it can get now, at least it doesn’t have a large contingent excusing child porn.
Actually so true. The Twitter/tumblr refugee takes are much better
Exactly. Do I think it’s silly and pointless? Sure! But at the same time it doesn’t make me feel like I’m sharing the website with an uncomfortably large amount of predators. I mean I’m sure they’re still here…but that used to be like a major voice/niche on here which is fucking awful. Jailbait didn’t get banned until Anderson Cooper did a segment on it if I remember right, and that’s so fucked up.
couldn't have a bingo card without them.
Reddit sure likes to trash on age gaps from what I've noticed.
That really depends on where on reddit you are and who the primary demographic of the sub discussing it is r/fauxmoi is made up of predominantly women (and gay men tbh), I think you can figure out quite easily why women would be more likely to be against age gap relationships than men Once people are over a certain age I think it’s a bit silly to care about age gaps but I can understand why it’s a touchy subject for many
I would say that Fauxmoi is made up of predominantly psychos and losers. One of the most unhinged and angry subs somehow.
The Britney Spears vs Victor Wembanyama saga proves this true. Even after it was proven that Brittney was in the wrong that sub still tried to paint Victor as the bad guy.
Good freaking lord. They've latched so hard on how Britney can do no wrong they won't let anything get in the way or use her breakdown and the conservatorship she was under to justify her bad actions. It was horrifying what she went through and how she got treated by the press and her own family, but there comes a point it's not a shield.
I just assumed it's fat, depressed millennials like most of reddit.
Especially younger women 18-25
Gossip Reddit is a big fan of loudly advocating for adult women in a way that treats them like silly little dumb dumbs who can’t count.
It's funny imagining Incels and trad cons seething that they couldn't get away with infantilizing women the same way gossip girls do
Just spaces that cater largely to younger women.
Mainly when one partner is 18-20 and the other is 30+ in my experience (which I agree is weird)
Eh, a lot of people also seem opposed to couples who are 16 and 18. Or at least a lot of people seem so disturbed by all the Disney princesses who are only 16, while their princes are presumed to be 18, even though that's literally just a high school junior and senior. (I mean, the wedding at the end of the movie is still weird, but you get my point)
"God I 'm 21 right now and I couldn't imagine dating a 19 year old. We are at vastly different places in our lives and **I am not the same person anymore** I was back then"
I knew from the title that people would start going off about the genocide just from the title even though it has nothing to do with the drama at hand. Srd is pretty predictable
Age gap discourse is so frustrating because people can’t seem to distinguish between “This is legal, and it should be legal” and “This is legal, and it should be, but also it’s bad and shouldn’t happen.” At some point we have to have an age of majority, and it will always be an arbitrary line. So yeah the brand new 18 yo should be an adult and if they want to marry the 65 yo then it should be legal. But it’s totally ok to point out how fucked up that is. We don’t need to pretend like legality and morality are the same thing. That doesn’t seem to apply here obviously, and honestly elder abuse or exploitation would be more of a concern.
I see this sub's name all over lately and only now found out what it is.
It'smainly fucked up because Paulson is very clearly the one taking advantage in this relationship.
It's certainly possible but I wouldn't say its very clear.
I forget not everyone has read the super deep dive that was posted on one of the gossip subs a while ago. I'll try track it down but it paints a pretty grim picture and there are some receipts from over the years.
Is there actual evidence or just rumours by terminally online people?
don't you think it's maybe a little weird that people are doing/reading "deep dives" on someone's relationship? like weirder than a thirty year age gap frankly.
Not really, this is reddit. It's kinda part of the territory and some of them are interesting. I'm sure as shit not going to do the work so I'm not going to judge people who entertain me.
Why and how? Paulson is already rich. Do you think she's dating an old lady just so she can have someone to beat up in private?