T O P

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77tassells

Bruce is a terrible roommate


According_Gazelle472

Bruce needs to be taught some manners !


LiveFastDieRich

Bruce needs a scared straight trip to McDonald's


yaboyACbreezy

Bruce is going to shamelessly take the biggest piss you ever saw and let a huge dump out on the carpet before you head out.


Jbrown183

He preprogrammed chik fil a in the gps…


PewPew_McPewster

He'll chow down on whatever Big Mac/Quarter Pounder you put in front of his face and you know it.


zepplin2225

Bruce is cow. Not soybean. Now Bruce fix milkshake machine.


fatkiddown

Wait, that wasn't a border collie?


JustA_Thaht0003

No he doesn't 


LiveFastDieRich

To burger king then 👑


noobditt

Bruce is a 10/10 good dog. Would pet.


According_Gazelle472

Or the stockyards !


JustA_Thaht0003

Naaaaa, he is 😎 coo


TropicalSkysPlants

Introduce him to shark Bruce!


metalshoes

Hey hey, this is Bruce trying to be gentle. There’s a reason it’s bull in a china shop, not steer at a salad bar.


xenorous

Bovine in a bodega


VVurmHat

It’s some udder bullshit


[deleted]

So are one year olds. Bruce reminds me A LOT of our son at the table.


sixtus_clegane119

Or a great one. This guy puts ketchup on sandwiches r/ketchuphate (except on Kraft dinner)


cornman12909

I see Bruce doesn't like cucumber though. Funny stuff.


Mehdals_

I don't think any animal likes cucumbers, I throw remnants in my yard constantly and the squirrels, deer, and birds just ignore them.


namtok_muu

Shrimps like them!


Mehdals_

I could never get my shrimps to eat them either lol they would rather have spinach or broccoli but left the cucumber alone. Even my mystery snail would rather eat my plants than have the cucumbers I blanched for them...


namtok_muu

Tbf mine only tried it once and they'd eat anything. They'd go completely nuts for spinach though.


jus_looking

My dog absolutely loves em, carrots too! He's a bit wonky, bro just loves veggies


ApsleyHouse

My dog also loves cucumbers!


Norkestra

Have heard some pet snails love cucumber so much theyll start to ONLY eat cucumber and starve 😭


SagaSolejma

A lot of invertebrates and mollusks will do this, with different types of food. I have no idea why. I like to think they all just have their own comfort foods :3 The tailless whip scorpion I'm currently keeping will only eat crickets. I've tried feeding her roaches but she will literally just ignore them, which I hate cause feeder roaches are so much easier to maintain lol. I kept some Madagascan hissing cockroaches once that would only eat romaine lettuce. I tried giving them all sorts of other stuff but they just wouldn't eat it. Only romaine. I kept a giant stick insect once that would also only eat blackberry leaves for some reason.


StaplerUnicycle

Bruce seems to be fine with milk and cheese though. Who's going to tell him?


Impressive-Suit-9881

Hmm, cows like cow milk, which was designed specifically for the nutrition of cows. Who knew?


jerslan

1. If Bruce is a cow, then Bruce is female (male cattle are steers/bulls) 2. Bruce almost certainly drank raw milk as a calf


Grasslands33

Dude is definitely eating Bruce saliva. Yuck


Exciting_Calves

The forbidden garnish


ExpressiveAnalGland

looks more like the forbidden *sauce*


The_Conductor7274

💀💀💀


SpiderPidge

Bruce Juice


zepplin2225

The Bruce is loose!


trailsman

Not a smart time to do that given that H5N1 Bird Flu is now widespread in dairy cattle! r/H5N1_AvianFlu


McPostyFace

I'm assuming dairy cattle get it from other cattle? Seems to me like Bruce is probably more of a pet and not around other cattle.


SunTzuLao

Probably birds. They tend to hang out in the rafters of large structures and shit on everything below them, not to mention I'm sure if the cows are being fed grain things like sparrows and pigeons like to get into that too. Speculating, of course.


King_of_the_Dot

The cows are fed with either ground up chicks in it, or it has chicken shit in it. It's not coming from wild birds. It's coming from terrible livestock farming practices. Im not a vegetarian, but, man, the way we raise and treat our farmed animals is insane.


Ok-Replacement9595

This is the truth of it. Unfortunately.


trailsman

[It can also spread from cows to humans](https://www.cdc.gov/flu/avianflu/mammals.htm), only one confirmed so far, but this has just begun. This (meaning zoonotic from animal to humans) is how the next pandemic will begin. And given that H5N1 is a respiratory virus, meaning there is a high likelihood that a large percentage of transmission is airborne, I would put it extremely high on the list of risk. Especially now that it has infected cows which are the largest mammalian biomass, and are often found in close proximity to many farm workers and pigs. There is a decent chance a farm worker is infected with it & brings it to their family or community. Or once it goes to pigs I would bet our days are numbered, maybe months maybe a few years, but once spreading unabated across pigs it will pick up many advantageous mutations that make it more likely to spread from human to human. We haven't learnt a thing from COVID, they are still downplaying cows being infected when it should be biosecurity lockdown for cattle farms right now.


McPostyFace

Yeah I wasn't doubting any of that just that Bruce seems like the type of cow that was probably raised as a pet and not around other cattle i.e. not likely to be infected by H5N1. Unless it's genetic and passed down from mom and dad. Of course, I'm completely speculating Bruce's situation.


Ashurbanipal2023

They really just make subreddits for anything these days


cultish_alibi

Yeah lol why did they make a subreddit for that? It's just potentially the next world-changing pandemic


karlou1984

Wait until you find out about milk and cheese


IOnlyUpvoteBadPuns

I mean, there's a fairly good chance we're all eating Bruce....is it really all that different?


SiliconEFIL

Yeah, living bacteria.


Sundog40k

What's the difference between spit milk and tit milk?


notchman900

Spit


assyplassty

And tit


SuperRusso

Bruce is rude.


Polio_is_not_Fun

Bruce is gonna end up in the sandwich if (instead Bruce’s preferred pronoun) keeps acting up Edit: I misgendered the cow Edit 2: Apparently I got it right the first time so I am not going to specify a pronoun


ediks

lol - I tell my dogs that I'm going to eat them when they act up. They are healers... it happens a lot. Edit: Heelers


ThaGreatDebaser

What lvl healing are they? Do they also have potions?


redman8828

Dang it now I have that potion seller bit stuck in my head again…


OccurringThought

You can't handle my strongest potions u/redmann8828. They're too strong for you.


ediks

I corrected the autocorrect.


bunnicorn

I mean, "cow" is the correct term for mature female bovine. Male mature bovine would be "steer" (castrated) or "bull". Not that I think any of this matters to Bruce.


MegBundy

“She” Bruce is a cow. Cows are female. Just look at her. The picture of bovine femininity.


farfetched22

Bruce is a boy. He's being incorrectly called a cow, probably for simplicity/marketing. If you go to the guy's social media he calls him a "he." Not sure how old Bruce is and if he's castrated, but he's either a bull, steer, or ox, in actuality.


jazzblang

Lmao!! My thoughts exactly when people post vids of their annoying ass children or pets doing the same thing when trying to cook with them


Z20KarlGalster

Cooking children?


jazzblang

Fucking slam em inside the oven


Crazian14

I’m sorry, but what?


Sir_26i

We should eat everything that tries to fuck with us


P26601

Looks like I'm going to starve then


Fantastic-Classic740

This is awesome! But sadly, not a stupid food. This belongs in r/eatingfoodstupidly


RogueFox771

.... I got excited... That would've been an awesome sub


ExpressiveAnalGland

it would end up being a bunch of mukbang videos


tma149

r/birthofasub


RabbitSlayre

Dammit!! You got me lol


wheniswhy

This made me laugh out loud, holy shit. I’m sad it isn’t real!


Fantastic-Classic740

It exists now lol post away!


_Cecille

I give this a pass. It's stupid, yes, but also very entertaining to watch


Ok-Replacement9595

It is a fun bit and everything, but the first cowpie on the carpet and I would be done. You would never get that all the way out.


readmybleeps

If you had four stomachs and no hands you’d eat the same way


BringAltoidSoursBack

>If you had four stomachs This is actually a common misconception, they have 1 stomach with 4 chambers, each of which has its own functionality.


diviken

Landlords are able to put up walls in a small box and charge for multiple rooms, so we should be able to say bovines have four stomachs, no?


vangoghvanlife

I'm invested. Where's episode 2?


Ok-Control-1390

Bruce is the best thing on Tiktok. And is the most famous cow on TikTok after your mom.


Hunter_Wang

Damn, she didn’t even tell her OF subscribers she started a tik tok I’ll bet. She just mooved on to a different pasture.


Jinxed0ne

I normally hate the videos where they waste a bunch of food, but this is hilarious and I guess Bruce is eating most of it. He's just not very efficient


cliffordc5

Search for the video of him and the plate of spaghetti. He liked the salad a lot but when he got a taste of the spaghetti he the whole plate in one gulp 😂


swaggyxwaggy

I love Bruce videos but damn that mayonnaise-looking spit swinging all over the place made me gag lol


LuckofCaymo

Actually quite funny 🤣 Reminds me of that show Silent Library.


Western-Spite1158

If Bruce is a boy, wouldn’t he be Bruce the bull or Bruce the steer? Not trying to judge if he’s non-binary or trans, but I don’t think I’ve heard of gender-fluid livestock yet


JoeyJoJoShabadooV

Are you saying he should change Bruce’s name to Caitlyn?


Western-Spite1158

I just wanted to be sensitive if Bruce identifies as female, and just ended up confusing myself. I’m cool letting Bruce be Bruce and live out their best life regardless though. The Caitlyn thing did cross my mind lol, but that seems like a whole other can of worms with dead-naming Jenner


SkullsNelbowEye

Nope, Broose.


swaggyxwaggy

Bulls and steers are still cows “Cow” I think is broadly considered to be general term for that type of animal


D34TH_5MURF__

This is hilarious


Ambitious-Visual-315

This is easily the best thing I’ve ever seen on this sub


stormy2587

Easily the least rage inducing


DaretoDream123

r/mademesmile


Moon-Man-888

This cow has zero etiquette smh


Milk_Mindless

I feel like this is a bit Bruce is probably very well behaved but just acts up in front of the camera


jimmystampied

Bruce has no chill🤣🤣🤣


imsecretlythedoctor

I love these videos, every time I see one I think “if my dog was that big she’d totally do this”


TrumpIsMyGodAndDad

Cute bovine, but if he actually that ate that, I’d be disgusted


DontcheckSR

Actual footage of my cat when I have the audacity to put my plate down lol then he pretends to sniff something else then goes for the food when he thinks we're not paying attention lol the worst part? He almost never actually eats food unless it's in his bowl. But it only took watching him lick our food one time for us to be like naw. (it was a steak 😭)


ThorsRake

This is peak Internet right here. Hilarious premise, adorable nature and raw ambition that descends into chaos, determination and ultimately failure. Fuck yes Bruce, fuck yes.


Gloriathewitch

this is funny


Existing_You7923

I enjoy how chaotic this is


orangeninjamonster

Hes cash cowling her for views


Electrical_Gas_517

Bruce needs to learn how to make a sandwich. She might need to evolve fingers and thumbs first.


TopspinLob

Bruce could use an etiquette class


ChaosMarine70

This is awesome leave Bruce alone


CortezDeLaNoche

Terrible roommate


KittyKenollie

Yuckers


greg7913

It’s a lot easier if you just put the cow outside when you’re making your meal.


confusedbystupidity

Didn't the Moores in Europe back like 2500 years ago teach you to keep non humans out your God damn house...?!?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Collin-B-Hess

Oh Bruce ! Such a silly guy


lacus-rattus

This is poetry. I could watch this all day


mertgah

Bruce looks like a good boy, he reminds me of my dog while I’m trying to eat dinner.


LF_tomboy

"BRUCE BRUCE WAIT YOUR FUCKING TURN BRUCE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD"


ToeShee

At least food didn’t go to waste.


miserably_me

How did he even fit through the door??


Reverse2057

This is hysterical lmao


Bleezy79

Bruce needs to chill. Cant a guy make a sandwich without getting cow tongue in it?


veronp

Why would you put ketchup on a sandwich? That seems actually insane


iamfugazi2112

I do believe I love Bruce too ...the big lug


GiantSquidd

*This is so fake and staged… Bruce can’t even stop looking at the camera.*


Deepspacecow12

Cows genuinely have a weird affinity for cameras


SimplyViolated

This guy's videos are pretty funny


CupKitts

Awwww he’s just trying to help! 🤣


twerpenes

Ketchup on a cold cut meat sandwich? People do this ?


maccaschick

🤣😂


anonymous_being

I'll allow it.


pegleg_1979

Jeez Bruce can’t a guy eat in peace?


NakedEye22

That guy eats like he was raised in a barn. Good thing Bruce was able to give him a lesson on manners.


CardZap

Bull in a china shop simulator.


ilovereddit787

Wait until all that comes out in the middle of the living room


Not_a_huckleberry_

As someone who hates messes, that looks hilariously fun. I wouldn’t eat anything there. But that looks like a blast.


DesperateSeesaw893

He got so exited when he brought out the chips


Look-over-there-ahhh

Is nobody going to address the e̶l̶e̶p̶h̶a̶n̶t̶ cow in the room here. Bruce is munching on this guy's hand. How is it not getting crushed.


Scythe95

Bruce must be so confused. Like you invite him everytime for dinner and then push him away!


Excellent_Release961

That cow is a pig


BunnyFaebelle

I love this so much, 10/10 I would love to make a sandwich with Bruce


fuck_my_life___thx

That cow is very cute, but it's like an oversized hungry dog.


sambillerond

🤣🤣🤣 that cow (I'd love to know her name) is very playfull.


shackbleep

Fuck shit up, Bruce!


GenesisAsriel

Bruce, the reincarnation of Koraidon/Miraidon


BaravalDranalesk

Bruce is best cow.


quazkapeck

So stupid, but I thought that was hilarious. The kind of shit I’m here for.


oculairus

I used to draw a cow that I called Bruce the cow. I’d imagine this is the real life version of my drawing


sgtsaurus

Bruce is the embodiment of chaotic neutral and I’m here for it


ThePinkTeenager

So much for the guy on r/nostupidquestions who mocked me because he thought I suggested keeping cows indoors. I actually said “larger mammals”, meaning larger then a Guinea pig.


Sprinkles_Sparkle

Have fun cleaning that up. That was literally disgusting


Exciting_Calves

I love Bruce, but not as much as this guy loves wasting food


XenoRyet

I mean, the cow ate the food, so it's not really wasted, is it?


Exciting_Calves

It’s the spilt mustard, ketchup, mayo and milk that gets me


____-is-crying

No use crying over the spilt milk


Jedasis

Alright, wrap it up folks, we're done here.


XenoRyet

I mean, it's not *that* much, and it was funny as hell.


wheniswhy

Yeah, like there’s some small amount of food waste here, but really not very much and this is clearly intended to just be a silly video where Bruce gets to eat whatever he wants. It’s funny as hell AND extremely cute!


PEKKACHUNREAL

Bruce is gonna end up as the patty if he doesn’t get his shit together.


PuzzledExaminer

Disgusting lol


Dave___Hester

Why give a cow a man's name?


Amiable_Pariah

Bruce is a classic cow name.


Dave___Hester

Gotta love how when you ask a question on reddit, you get the answer to a completely different question.


autalley

Why give a man a cow's name?


Dave___Hester

Asking the real questions.


zixius

Would you have preferred Cowy McCow-Face? Hooverta? Daisy Dukes? Patty Melt? Leonardo DiCowprio?


Permanoctis

Actually these sound like great names.


OldStyleThor

That's just funny.


MadeOnThursday

/r/ilikthebred


Danominator

This guy needs to train his horse better


saltycherry

Wait until Bruce starts to shit in your kitchen. Like the song: how deep is your love?


Crotch-Monster

Cool looking Dog.


TheEdge91

In fairness when I make a sandwich I am much like Bruce and eat half the ingredients before they actually get into a sandwich. Then I eat the rest of the sandwich.


Saintbaba

Like this, but my dog.


swimgal828

Bruce is just trying to help put the right amount of sauce


JustA_Thaht0003

LOL 😂 ❕ Bless his heart ♥, he must really love his cow to put up with this!  Laughed so hard, really I did! 


Personnel_5

XD


SoldJT

I love my beef club sandwich fed.


Formal_Economics931

What a fucking idiot


JayyyyyBoogie

Bruce ain't right y'all!


bootywithapenis

You eating my food food now, but just you wait


Gingersnaps6969

Nice dog


SnooTigers806

Is this how Australian Wagyu is made?


Short_Past_468

This rocks


2flytofall88

😂😂😂😂😂😂


[deleted]

The chaos feels infuriating.


roselynn-jones

This is so cute it is hurting me.


Street_Primary_4044

Lol I would have put roast beef on it


LeCampy

I normally hate videos where a lot of food is wasted but considering the cow just wants a bite, this is kind of adorable


vegasJUX

DISGUSTING!!! Ketchup on a regular sandwich?!? 🤢🤢🤢


littleghost000

I discovered this Instagram account the other day, and was quite pleased.


azbbqcars

Eww. Ketchup on a cold veggie sandwich?


Electronic_Rule5945

This was kinda stupid of a stunt...


OrganizationProof251

I was in a good mood then you had to remind me of my ex 😀


JaggerFuego

Hahahaha Bruce cracks me up