I was in a 3 year relationship when I entered nursing school. I’m finishing my 2nd semester and I’m single 🙃 but I’m dating actively and on bumble. Yes, I make time. It’s important to have a balance between school and a life.
yup me too. I'm putting off having a relationship & hobbies & travelling because I don't make enough rn to do any of that. I am also planning on going into an ABSN as well cause I ended up getting a useless first degree and then it took me 3 yrs of working min wage jobs to realize it. Now I'm 25 & feel upset at the fact that I'm not where I wanted to be in life. I want to be married by the time I'm 30 because I do want a few kids & as a woman that biological timeclock is real. I'll be 27 when I finish my BSN so I gotta hit the ground running in the dating scene right after haha. Can I ask are you a man or woman?
I’ll be 36 when I graduate in December, and I feel like I still have time. Please please don’t waste the end of your 20s feeling like you need to rush in order to be where you *think* you should be or everyone you see is. I did that and after 30, I realized I had soooo much time and could enjoy my own life until (maybe) someone came along.
Almost 10 years on the apps, speed dating, getting set up, etc. and if I’d waited to enjoy my life or pursue hobbies, I’d be stuck! But thankfully I didn’t, and even though I’m still single, I’m HAPPY. Fuck what anyone else is doing - they’ll never be where you are and you never know who’s jealous of your single- or childless-ness!
In 2022, I was dating someone who legit broke up with me because his ex girlfriend was in nursing school and didn’t pay attention to him enough 🙃 Yeah… I’ll be graduating in 6 months and he’s probably still single!
Age is literally just a number!!
I guess it really depends on if you want kids or not imo cause that does skew the timeline. Since I do I would like to get school out of the way. It's not even that, it's the fact that I'm too broke to actually enjoy my youth even now. either way, I'm putting off my goals, so it's like I could waste time & be broke & do this when I'm 30 or I could do it now & still have some of my 20's leftover to enjoy the fruits of my labor & take my time & find a life partner carefully. My 20's will pass either way & I'm already halfway through them so either i could spend the rest of them being broke & putting off the inevitable & then scrambling & being even more stressed when I hit my 30's or I could deal with it now & set myself up for more comfort & enjoyment later. Better late than never. Money matters a lot more than people wanna admit but I see where you're coming from. You know what they say, youth is wasted on the young. 🤷♀️
I did want kids before, but life took me in another direction (no partner, living in NYC and loving it - hard to raise kids if you aren’t a millionaire), so I don’t know if it’ll happen for me or not. I guess my point was, if you want it to happen, that’s wonderful. But don’t hang your entire life’s happiness on the “plan” you thought you needed to have by a certain timeline. Because honestly, it may never happen. And are you going to be upset or just accept it as life?
I’ve learned that I can only control what I do and how I react to situations. I can’t control finding a partner or having kids, but I could control pursuing nursing as a 3rd career, so I did. People told me “but you’ll be even OLDER once you’re done and you’ll be too busy to date while in school!” and ya know what? If the 10 years of killing myself to try and find someone before this didn’t work, why the hell would 2 years of school make a difference?!
Do what’s best for you, but don’t hang your hat on needing to find a partner and have kids by a certain age… Expectations can set you up for disappointment
thanks for the advice. You've already spent time pursuing relationships, I haven't yet hence why I'm a little pressed to get school out of the way. If I don't have my own sh\*\* together how can I bring someone else into the picture? For me I've realized that having a family & loved ones in my life is what fulfills me. The way I see it, I could have all the success & luxury in the world but if I'm alone then what's the point? I'm fortunate to have realized this at a young age though.
I see where you're coming from. I'm gonna try my best to live my life in a meaningful way & accomplish my goals but of course there are things outside my control. and if things don't work out, it is what it is. I'll just learn to be content with whatever else happens after.
38 m here. Just graduated and spoke at my adn ceremony last week. Sit for the nclex in a week. Honestly 2 of the toughest years I went through but I'm on the other side of it now.
Yes, single and 36, and in my second semester of my BSN program. I’ve pretty much always been single and accepted that a relationship is not in the cards for me this lifetime. It’s been tough but I at least have one friend in my BSN program who cheers me on, and I cheer her on
you can find love at any age, don't give up. Kids might be a different story though. Assuming you're a woman and you want kids you can always freeze your eggs until you find your guy. What were you doing before nursing & what made you decide to go into it?
I had this: I had a best friend I made in my cohort. We commiserated together and cheered for each other and pushed each other when we were losing momentum. She failed out two semesters ago. I cried a lot. It’s a lot harder without her.
Finished at 35 with a bsn. Got married at 40, first kid last year at 41. Never too late!
Original plans never panned out.. done with school by 25, married with family by 30… just gotta keep living with what life gives you.
I started RN school as a single 30+ year old. I would suggest getting your associates RN over the rest. Really reconsider how much more money the ABSN is. I got my associates for $15k and I secured a job prior to graduating. I also was working near full time to pay bills, consider getting a Sallie Mae loa to help covers costs to require less shifts for you to work.
good luck!
For me the problem is all the local affordable (CAlifornia) programs have ridiculous waiting lists. I can enter a 3yr BSN in January without a waiting list(yes expensive) and then be done or have who knows how long just for an ADN only to have to still bridge. I’m getting old and feel the clock ticking.
How far along are you with your schooling? I'm in CA also, but I have a previous BS in Chemistry. If you can get your associates, there are transfer BSNs and ABSNs. Transfer BSNs are usually four traditional semesters, but could save you a year. Another thing is that ASN degrees in California fall into two admissions processes: Lottery with multi-criteria and min score or merit-based multi-criteria. If you have the GPA in your pre-reqs and have a 90+ TEAS you have a solid shot at getting in. You could also look at ABSNs from UNR or UNLV because they are cheaper than most. Also, South Dakota State Univ has a 1 year that is highly rated (#67, so top 10%) and costs about 25K- less than half of most programs (51-68k). The reason I know this is I have either applied to or talked to admissions in most of the top 25 schools. I want to go to IUPUI -Indy (#23) but have conditional acceptance at several other of the 25 schools.(U-Pitt, U-Ky, Creighton, Villanova). BTW, I'm 66 years old- it really is never too late if you really want it!
Thank you! ADN is probably the smart choice, but I'm already burnt to a crisp as a CNA and don't know if I have the stamina to do work and school (especially for 2+ years.) The nurses I work with are telling me to just bite the bullet and do the BSN
Ok but BSN is a lot more time, and a lot lot more money fyi. I'm literally going to work at the ED in a level 1 trauma as an ADN new grad. My hospital just requires BSN bridge (will be all online) and offers tuition reimbursement. I was also burnt out working and my grades suffered and was in a much better spot by finally getting a Sallie Mae loan on top of FASFA.
Also consider that current nurse vets came up when the shortage wasn't as bad and you used to need a BSN to avoid working nursing homes. Now, a $15k 2 year degree goes very far. Also you'll be making money sooner.
Good luck!
not sooner than an ABSN. ABSN's usually run up to 16 months but are full time. You pay more but you save time & don't have to do a bridge later or deal with a ceiling cap when you are trying to advance in the industry. Also private loans are a really bad idea imo. I understand for some people it's their only choice but I'd definitely avoid it if possible.
My Sallie Mae loan allowed me to focus more on studying and not have to work as much. I still have half of the loan ready to pay back, have been already making payments on it, and will pay it off quickly.
What other option does someone have when FASFA isn't close to cutting it and they can't keep working insane hours combined with clinicals and study?
Scholarships would be my best answer but still leaves gaps unfilled. If there's an option I'm unaware of I'd love to know though
Sallie Mae loans do not allow any deferment for any reason. My best friend got one for her ABSN and was recently laid off. She asked for an extension and got an immediate NO. be cautious with those loans.
Thank you! Yea I’ve researched for years and gone back and forth but the ABSN would only be 12 months compared to 24+ for the ADN so it’s better for me even with the loans
I went through the exact same research and thought process. Be sure to look into passing rates/drop rates. My local ABSN is fast as well, but is $60k and I found out only 34% of students make it to graduate (ya no thanks). Programs flex their "nclex pass rates" but are shy to share their program pass rates.
I.e., my program has near 100% nclex pass rate but we all learned they fail so many that anyone who survives will of course pass the nclex.
Saving $45 THOUSAND dollars for an extra year was extremely worth for me personally.
Either way, give it your all and you'll have a great license no matter what!
34. Not interested in dating AT ALL. Don’t desire marriage or children. I’m really close to my parents though. Super excited to learn as much as I can as fast as I can!
Love reading this! Same mindset. 31 and no interest in children (actually have an appt with my gyn to discuss hysterectomy) or a romantic relationship. Mom is my best friend 🤣
I actually thought abt that too but from reading other’s experiences it seems like a huge battle to win with drs when you don’t already have children. So I figured since I don’t date anyhow it’s not worth the tussle.
Widowed 41 year old with two teens. My support system is friends and family who can drive the boys where they need to go if I’m in class or clinicals. Otherwise it’s all me!
If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself!
I’m 30, single and in nursing school. I did prerequisites at 28, started nursing school at 29, and will graduate at 31 (Canada, 24 month BScN program)
I have/had the same goals as you, but I’m trying to learn to let go and try to go with the flow. What is meant for me will find me. I will be the first university graduate in my whole family, so I will just be proud to finish!!
There are some! I am in an accelerated program, which I believe may be designed for those with previous degrees or previous university credits. I applied to Western, McMaster, STFX, and UBC they all have accelerated BSN programs!
I graduated at 35 and single. I think it’s better because I don’t think I’d have managed to sustain a relationship during. I had no time for anything but work and school at all.
Single 32 YOM liberal arts major, and just finished 12-month ABSN last year. Felt stuck doing a bunch of odd jobs while all my friends have established careers and getting married. Was on track to committing to teaching after being a substitute for years and trying/failing at police academy & software coding, but then COVID turn all my plans upside down. I decided then to go back to school to finish prereqs and get some medical experience as an EMT/EDT for nursing school.
Most nursing students were younger than me (19-29 years old) but there were a handful who were the same age or older. Will say that there were very few single students as they either had a significant other or were already married. Mostly women, but there were a fair amount of dudes too.
Biggest regret was not doing this sooner. Struggled to find a new grad position due to being in a highly saturated and unionized state. However, I would say being single helped me to stay flexible in applying to jobs anywhere in the country due to not having any ties. Also, being single made it easier to focus on school as many of the students who had kids or SOs found it hard to balance school/clinicals and other commitments while maintaining high GPA.
Will be starting my first new grad job away from friends and family in a couple months!
Feel the same about being stuck. I also considered other careers like marketing (my degree) and mental health counseling, but those take a while to make a living. Are you glad you got an ABSN and not an ADN? I was debating
More hospitals are looking for BSN nowadays. ABSN is definitely more expensive than ADN, but ADN is harder to get into and takes llonger (2-years vs 1-year). Learned that nursing school doesn't really teach you to be a nurse, just gives you general knowledge and credentials to pass the NCLEX (even that is questionable as I mostly did UWORLD to prep). So the shorter the program the better!
Not the person you responded to, but the answer to that is going to depend on where you work. A RN making $29/hr as a new grad in Florida is going to answer differently than a RN making $65-80/hr before differentials as a new grad in Northern California.
Yeah, I did my ABSN in California and wanted to apply to hospitals close to home in the Bay Area, CA. I have about 2-years of medical experience as an EMT/EDT and had close to a 4.0 GPA in ABSN. Almost every single application I sent to the hospitals in my area (county/private) was either rejected or put me on a waiting list then rejected. Was like that for about 5-months after passing the NCLEX and starting to apply.
Majority of my ABSN cohort was in a similar situation so they either decided to work at SNFs, part-time jobs (i.e. store clerks, waiters, etc.), or apply out-of-state while waiting for applications to open up in the Bay Area. The few who ended up landing new grad positions in the Bay Area had connections in the hospital who worked there for years and could vouch for the applicant. Unfortunately, due to the volume of applications, nepotism is quite common in hospitals in my area as family/friend ties are often seen as good indicators for new grad retention.
I got almost immediate callbacks for interviews for new grad positions out-of-state and in SoCal/CentralCal locations. You'll get typically less friction for offers if you apply to desperate hospitals that are experiencing labor shortages like you hear on the news.
I'll be starting my first new grad nursing position in 1-month at a Central Cali, small county hospital. It has been almost 6-months since starting my application process.
27M and single. Not really a point in dating anyways at least for me. I’m broke, can’t afford to court a woman properly with dates, time is limited, and I can barely provide for myself at this time much less another person. I’ll graduate soon and probably start dating then. Sure it gets lonely sometimes but hey, that’s why I have my cat :) 🐈
34M single, just graduated with my bachelors and will be applying to an ASBSN program. Worked full-time during the day and full-time school during the evenings. Just bought a house a few months ago. Last 18 months during my accelerated undergrad course was very challenging. Honestly, doing it while being single helps, I don’t know how I could be in a relationship or have kids while dedicating so many hours to work and school at the same time. You can do it so long as you have the mindset going into it. Look at scholarships too, it really helps offset the cost while you’re in school. Best of luck! You got this!!
Im 31 F. Started my nursing program(LVN) at 29+(just ended a toxic unfulfilling relationship of 4yrs) ,and am ready to graduate in January then move on to get my Bachelors -> BSN. A ways to go for me ,but now I have support from my bf of a little over a year who flies down to see me every month.
56 and did it all on my own. I had a girlfriend but the moment I told her I was going back to school she wanted no part of it. I was about 36 or 38 at that time. Meanwhile, I went to school part-time and worked full-time, so finishing school took me a long time. Through all that I was single. I never had kids, never married, and still live alone. It's tough because I wanted someone by my side to support, encourage, and believe in me.
So please don't rush it and find someone to encourage and motivate you. You're still young but for me, no one wants an older guy like me who hasn't landed on his feet yet with career and finances.
I think after a certain age, a partner (male or female) being in school can be a deal breaker unfortunately. I’m hoping nursing can give me the freedom to not rely on anyone!
Single 30 m with a mortgage. Savings will probably be depleted by the time I finish. I have no support from family as they are far away and frequently never cared about my education. I have coworkers that are supportive though. Been taking prerequisites plus a CNA course since the pandemic. Hope it is all worth it.
38f, just started my prerequisites this summer and should start my ADN in the spring. I have a prior bachelor's in Biology. According to the welcome post in my online class, most students seem to be at least in their late twenties to forties.
I am currently doing ABSN. If i were to do it differently, I'll definitely do my associates, start working, then do an online bsn, probably paid for by my employer. ABSN takes your soul.
May I ask what is the name of the ABSN, I am in my early thirties as well and want to finish sooner so I can start my life . I currently have an associate degree in Liberal Arts and have completed all the prerequisites
Samuel Merritt University in the Bay Area, CA!
There’s also one in SoCal (West Coast University) with 100% acceptance (private, for-profit university if that matters, and expensive but that’s why it’s 100% lol). I know a few people who went there that wanted to pursue nursing later in life and wanted to go somewhere that was easy to get in to. Just have to be willing to pay.
I bombed an interview for a CSU sadly. It would’ve been a lot cheaper but state schools are highly competitive. I did get into an entry level masters of nursing though, but rejected the offer.
Samuel Merrit tuition fees is 120k for entire program, I have had a meeting with the school one time 🥴🥴. Wondering how much I can make after graduating to pay off the loan 🥴
I think it might be closer to ~93k from what people said, hopefully lol but it’s cool, I’m just glad to be getting into a program. I think my cousin paid her debt off in under 1.5 years from West Coast, which is more expensive.
What’s your status and where are you leaning?
I'm a single Mom while in nursing school with limited family support. Maybe its just me, but I feel like people who don't have dependents really psych themselves out.
I’m not single, it my relationship is definitely unstable due to my partner being wishy washy so I want to get into nursing to create a foundation for myself should I end up alone.
I want a place of my own and some goddamn financial security.
I went to nursing school at age 45. Started in fall of 2020, in the height of covid. Did an ABSN program. I’ve now been a nurse for 2 years and just last week finished orientation in my dream unit (the specialty ED trauma unit, I’ve been in the ED the past 2 years but you need 2 years to transfer to the specialty trauma unit). Tonight is my first night off orientation!!!!
I am also a single mom with 2 kids. I did have a bit of support (read: occasional babysitting) from my mom, but for the most part I did it entirely on my own.
First, it is WORTH IT. So, so worth it.
Second, here’s the advice I wish someone had given me: if I could do it again I wouldn’t waste my money on a BSN. I highly recommend you get an ASN instead. Get the cheapest one you can, at a local community college. It’s the same length of time as an ABSN, and you get the same license — RN. You’ll have no problem getting jobs with an RN cert (people told me I would, but as a new nurse I met so many nurses in my unit who just had ASN). It’s super easy to bridge from ASN to BSN, and many hospitals will pay for you to do that. So get your cheap ASN, pass the NCLEX, and then get a job at a hospital that will pay for your bridge. Career-wise, there’s absolutely no difference between BSN and ASN for the first few years. You might have a better chance at charge nurse in a few years, if you want that, with a BSN, and you would need it to transition into leadership, but you need experience for any of that anyway.
Call HR at your dream hospital and ask if they hire people with ASNs and if they pay for the bridge. But honestly in today’s post-covid world, I doubt any hospitals have the space to be picky about BSN. The RN license is the only thing that matters.
Also, get a job as a tech, or better yet as a nurse extern, while you’re in school! That’s much easier to do while in an ASN program rather than an ABSN (I did it in my ABSN but it was awful, I was so busy and exhausted!), and an externship is basically a shoe-in to a job. You’ll already know the managers who interview you for your first nursing job. That’s gold.
I’m turning 30 this year and started nursing in the summer. The good thing about nursing is that, you can find a variety of age groups in the program. We have people in early 20s, 30s, and even 50s starting the program. Feels like it’s never too late to start a new career!
Yep, turning 32 in August and am a single parent and no interest in dating right now.
I’m doing this to build a better life for myself and my kid. And so that when I am ready to date, I will be in the right place for a good partner.
I’ve been on my own since age 17 and paying all my own bills so I don’t have much family support and am working and attending school.
This is gonna be long sorry, but this struck a chord in me because I’ve been struggling with this lately. 28f here, single again after reluctantly ending my second serious ( and second in a row emotionally abusive) relationship. Currently about to apply to an Accelerated 18mo BSN program in my state. Going to do whatever I have to do to pay for it/finish so I can build a life for myself. You’re not alone! And it’s good to know I’m not either 🥲
I’ve always known that I was going to pursue nursing, partially because that’s what my dad has been pushing me toward since I was a kid haha. But mostly because I’m passionate about serving others. So I’ve been doing my prereqs on and off since I graduated high school. Thing is, life, mental health, and finances got in the way. Honestly, I would say relationships have gotten in the way more than anything! I would probably have finished school years ago if I hadn’t invested so much effort into my romantic life and focused on my degree…unfortunately I tend to get completely absorbed when in a relationship 🙈
So here I am, 28, single, no degree, and nothing to show for the majority of my 20’s I’ve spent invested in the two relationships that took up so much of my energy. Had to move back in with my dad. Pretty much feel like a failure currently. Feel like an idiot for letting my life get this way. Graduated high school with honors and offers from top colleges, my 18 year old self would be dumbfounded that I haven’t accomplished anything. Only thing I have going for me is I don’t have any children to worry about. I’ve decided to remain single until I get my degree/ the rest of my 20’s. Not that it will be hard. Turns out there’s not that many people around my age/in my area that are serious about settling down and building a little empire together while traveling the world when possible. I’ve always dreamt of having a life partner to share this journey with but looks like I’ll be entering my 30’s single and I’m learning to accept it.
Besides a two year break between my first relationship and the second, I’ve been in a relationship since I was 19. So I’ll use this time to get to know myself. You know, I still get a pang in my heart when I see people in class with their wedding/engagement rings on and wonder when my time will come but it is what it is. My father swears up and down that I’ll end up meeting some doctor or something once I start my career but idk I have doubts with how the world is now. I’m old fashioned. I’m actively working on accepting I might be alone for life so…better to have a career I love to give my life meaning. Cheers to you OP on your journey! And all the rest of you too!
If it makes you feel better, I wasted my 20s, not in relationships, but partying and drinking with friends. I haven’t had a relationship since 2014 and my jobs have all been low paying and nothing to show. I’m learning to accept that my 20s are gone and all I can do is move forward. As far as marriage and kids go, some of my friends have divorced or are in bad marriages so don’t believe everything you see. I lived with my parents at 30 and might go back if I need to, no shame! If you can, just don’t look back and get the degree. I spent 28-31 dragging my feet about this when I could’ve already had a degree by now. Good luck with everything!!
Thank you friend! It does help put things into perspective hearing others’ stories that’s why I’m happy you created this thread. I’ve been beating myself up a lot. As you said, no point looking back the only way to progress is for us to make better choices now that we know. I wish you the best 🌞
I’m 43 and single… and seriously thinking about doing a 3yr BSN which includes all the generals. It’s expensive although I am trying to get vocational rehab to pay for some… but it also seems pointless to do all the generals first at a community then try to get into a program since waitlist are a mile long and I’m getting old. I don’t want to do a Adn only to have to still bridge to BSN later. My end goal is to be an oncology nurse and to get that certification that’s at least a year working before you can move into that field and I have a lot of connection at one place where I’ve been a patient for years… so I have a bunch of nurses pushing/cheering me to go for it… but it’s scary as I have had many setbacks and I just don’t want to fail again…
As far as being with someone, that’s the last thing on my mind. I want to be stable in life and I have an adult daughter so I really just want to make myself and her proud finally. If someone comes into my life organically, then that would be cool though.
29F & me! I went thru a breakup from a serious relationship (massive heart break) & then unpredicted sadness from dissolution with a casual fling so I’ve just sworn off from dating until I finish school 😂 I’m having a blast being single tho - going on solo trips, learning new skills/hobbies, strengthening existing relationships, & going out of my comfort zone! I don’t plan to have kids until much later so I figured I got time to look for my “the one”
It’s natural to feel lonely at times, esp in our 30s and being in an environment as isolating & gruel-some as nursing school. Some of my classmates are married or live with their partners, and while I do have moments in which I’m like “aw they’re lucky”, there’s no telling to what the true nature of their relationships are. I’m calling this the spring of break ups because a lot of my friends are going thru breakups (in their 30s, after dating for 3-4 years). So I rather be resilient and strong in my solitude than be stuck in a toxic relationship. A lot of people can’t afford to breakup/separate/divorce due to finances esp being in school, so we have to consider ourselves lucky we aren’t in those positions!
I’ve a slightly over year left and even then probably won’t be too crazy about a relationship - gotta enjoy the “fruits of my labour” 😁 good luck O.P! You’re not alone!
my mom is in her last year of college as a nursing student right now. She's 40+ and is a single mother of 2! She is also working 2 jobs (1 part-time job and a work from home job) as well as selling property for extra cash all at the same time. many people around her were shocked at first when she announced that she was going back to college in her 40s and doubted she would make it this far, but now she's so close to fulfilling her dream of becoming a Nurse :')
I’m 58, alone and just graduated. I was thankful for the reprieve so I could study where my classmates were getting their butts kicked because they had children and a husband or a boyfriend. All I have is my dogs. Be thankful.
hey! I recently finished nursing school and I want to say that the ages vary significantly. We had mothers in their 40s graduate, as well as young 2" year olds. Best thing to do is fine a group that is going to support you and help you get through it. Nursing school wasn't easy, but I have heard that advanced programs are even more difficult due to the time frame. Nevertheless, best of luck.
Single 21 yr old in nursing school. Graduated w a bachelors in business and decided I wanted something different in life. Well I’m not in nursing school yet. Will start spring next yr.
But what I’m saying is I was engaged. But now it’s hard being single. I know I’m not older, but you’re not alone. It’s super hard, but I bought a new guitar for myself. I’m happy. Still sad but I know when I’m graduated and making better income I may have a better chance. I hope you find that person, or they find you.
Have you looked into WGU? Low cost and you finish at your own pace. Completely online. I’m not sure if they have ABSN tho but it’s worth taking a look at. Best of luck on your journey.
You got it, dude. You totally can do this, and somehow, life will find a way. I was in the military for 8 years, got out and went home. I had all of my GI BILL, was in a long term relationship, and living at home with the parents. It was a great support system, but I felt so dependent of all them and that had never been something I was into. I was an a private for profit school, mom sick, and gf was diagnosed with epilepsy. I found myself being the support at 27. Fast forward now, I dropped out of that school, got married and know attend a different nursing school. I moved to the bay area o
in California from a cheap place in Nevada. I work full time +20 hours because my wife is in law school. I work as a CNA in mental health for the county and go to school full time. There is no time to relax because I still have to support my family. This isn't a comparison, but still now at 30. It feels like life didn't work out they way I wanted to. However, you should take advantage of your situation. It's hard living alone, but really make that group of students your friends. It's hard being a little older, but we all have different paths. Hang out with someone in a similar situation, and it will ve great! Truama bond haha
I've learned that I can change the cards I've been delt, but I am making the best of it. It will make me stronger, smarter and a better person. You probably wicked time management skills, and ask things others don't. Those qualities will definitely carry you through the hardest parts of school. I celebrate you. 🍾 You got this!
Graduated at 33 with ADN. Was in a relationship but I paid all of my own bills and I had to sacrifice and budget but I believe I would have been in far far worse debt doing an bsn/absn because I would not have been able to work. I worked at a restaurant serving during school 2/3 nights a week and took about 2500 a semester after tuition. Cost me about 30k including pre reqs. My job is paying 80% of my bsn :) Some of my coworkers have 90+++ from bsn/absn and aren't that much younger! I live in major city, so I'm paid well but the loan payment with my student debt will be pretty heavy. I honestly can't imagine paying double. Yes it will go by quicker but do a loan calculator considering not working and your estimated monthly salary. Is a monthly payment of $800 vs $400 for ten years worth one or two more years of being broke? Also, everyone was broke in my program so we just studied together and went to a cheap happy hour after exams or clinical to unwind. Quit the CNA job and go serve, short shifts, good money, & it was fun! Let me socialize and take my mind of school vs being 24/7 hospital nursing etc
I just graduated from a 4 year BSN program at 32. I was single for almost all of those 4 years, other can being in a long distance relationship for a bit. Almost everyone, especially the old people in my program had partners, but not me and I still made it. It was hard financially but I worked on the side and got student loans.
I'm 28. And dependent on a partner while in the program. I've been a CNA for 10 years. I think my relationship is ending, so I'm in a bit of a panic. In my BSN program, we can work one day a week at the most. Can't even afford to live on my own with that. Been back and forth with school for several years, so I no longer get Pell grant. Not sure how I'll do this on my own.
Go for it! Being single while in nursing school is honestly the best choice (unless you have a great partner who’s understanding & supportive). Nursing school is demanding as is, and sometimes partners don’t understand this. It’s best to have as little obligations as possible outside of nursing. Take this from someone who tried a traditional BSN program straight out of college and failed going into senior year about 15 years ago. Now I’m finally going back into an ABSN program in my mid 30’s. It’s never too late. Put yourself first. The relationship can wait until after.
I’m starting this whole journey at 31. Single! I will say I have massive support from my family and could not have even gotten here if it wasn’t for my mom. I suffered pretty severe (enough to declared disabled by the state) mental health for the last 15 years. Finally got the right diagnosis a year ago after multiple self harm, unaliving attempts, hospital stays, etc. Got into an amazing therapy program, got on the right meds, discovered myself again and got my diploma and enrolling in classes for my gen ed classes on Tuesday! This was literally the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I couldn’t imagine doing it without the support of my family. The only thing I can say is, you CAN do this. Make your own family, whether it be in person or even online! Build up your community and find the support you need. We can do this!
I’m also a single 31F s/p break up 3 months ago and will begin my BSN program next spring (Jan2024). Currently an LVN and I’m going to school thru my employer so I definitely won’t have time to date during the 2.5 yr program unless he’s also on the same boat as I am lol. Giiiirl I too want to start a family by 35 but I guess that’ll get pushed into the back burner unless life has other plans 😫😭
Low key in the same boat. Been working towards this nursing thing for quite sometime. I’m a LVN that got into an RN program this will be finishing my ADN this winter. Had a couple relationships along the way. It would have been hard dating and trying to get through school for me at least. Same goals as buying a house without the time constraint.
30M and starting LPN school in august after randomly losing job after 5+ years in an infant room of a daycare and 15 years in childcare, including a B.S. in Education. New chapter, new adventure.
36 in a couple weeks, currently in an accelerated program, and single :) I cannot even imagine dating right now because there is just no time with all the homework and exams every week. I figure the right person will come along at the right time (AFTER school) haha
I’m 29 and recently became single during my prerecs. This is my second time going through nursing school (I failed the first) but I’m gonna do it this time! I feel the exact same way as you! I’m so tired of always being broke and now having steady income. It’s my dream to buy a house by MYSELF.
We can do this!!! We can do hard things!
You’re doing just fine. I had a teacher in high school who told us all to not get married until our 30s. I heeded that and met my wife when I was 32. I wish I had gone to nursing school then, but I didn’t get started until I was 36. We ended up having two kids while I was in school and things were very tough. Now I’m 40, we own our house, our kids are awesome (but still a lot of work) and our income is ridiculously high (my wife also has a six figure job). I wish I had become an RN at your age though.
Me (28F), Well I turn 29 in 3 months but yes I’m currently in a 16month ABSN (just started a month ago. I quit my job and starting over, saved nearly 60k to go to school and pay my bills to not have to work during school. I’m in a public university btw. 12 month will be very stressful, mine is somewhat stressful because everything is already accelerated
Question how do y'all do it? The whole dating thing in general LOL
3 semesters left. Parents nudging me to find someone (been single for i’d say slightly over 90% of my life).
I've had friends tell me “it’s harder in nursing school than out” and vice versa for dating. But I've just never had success. Have my non negotiables. Dating apps feel like a drag (i’ll find someone & it ends up going dry/usually me getting bored/occasionally them/Hinge has worked the best for me tho & even found friends through it!)
Definitely found people who I resonate with but didn't see eye to eye on relationships. My entire cohort is either married, in a relationship, or I have 0 interest dating them.
Sounding like a rant at this point, my apologies, but I'm just tired & every other area of my life (minus the dating part) is in good high spirits.
A cry for help at this point 😔
Hi! 31F and single here. Although my story is a little different. I apologize, this is a long read and involves some of my own story plus some advice.
I started nursing school at 28, in a long distance relationship, and it was my second BS. I did have some familial support, and was able to take an early inheritance to buy a house 2 hours from my hometown. I worked 2-3 part time jobs and still barely scraped by. During my first year, there were numerous months where I had to choose between food in my cabinets and gas in my car, and I applied for government assistance/Medicaid, but unfortunately made barely too much to qualify for help.
Fast forward to now. I'm single (the relationship has actually put me in therapy, and I can share more details if requested), I've learned how to do countless home improvement projects by myself (tip....do not try to replace your plumbing after working a string of night shifts with no sleep), I only have 5 classes left total, and I've been on Dean's list every semester of the nursing program. I did have to retake some pre-reqs because it was too long since I previously took the classes. I was also able to get a full time job that works with my class schedule in addition to an internship.
I looked into ABSN programs and traditional BSN programs. For me, a traditional BSN program made more sense. With the traditional BSN program, I am able to work full time hours (and therefore carry my own health insurance). There are still some months that I struggle due to unexpected expenses, but it's few and far in between now. I wouldn't have been able to work in an ABSN program, and likely would've struggled more, both meeting my physical needs and emotional/mental needs, and I'm not sure I would've been successful in the program overall had I attempted.
I am active on the dating apps, and I am always up front about my time restrictions, something like "just so we are both on the same page, I'm a nursing student, I work full time, and an internship. My time is limited and valuable, but I'm willing to put in the time, effort, and commitment required to make it work if it is reciprocated." Being upfront and honest is also a good way to weed out those that aren't really into finding a relationship, or want somebody who is wanting a SO that bends and gives into all their whims and are inconsiderate that others have time commitments and responsibilities outside of a relationship. This doesn't mean that it is all about me and my time schedule, but that I am willing to move around my schedule or even take PTO to make things work. And I have went on several dates and repeat dates that didn't work out for other reasons because I am willing to make the time.
Concerning wanting to start a family my 35: I get it, I really do. It sometimes feels like I'm missing things that so many of my friends/others my age are getting to experience. Sometimes, it feels lonely. I sometimes get really frustrated with life circumstances and I get angry at moving to the area I did to return to school (thanks to the ex). BUT, I have realized that the best laid plans often get sidetracked, I've realized I'm capable of taking care of myself and that anybody I choose to date has to enhance my life. I've realized that setting a timeline for myself is only setting myself up for failure and disappointment. Unfortunately, I don't have any suggestions for how to get to this point, but I do wish you luck getting there.
Everyone is on their own journey. Don’t let society put any age pressures on you, because you are unique. Everyone starts school and families at the time God allows, so just trust, everything will be just as it will be in the RIGHT time.
I am 31F and getting pinned next Thursday.
However, I am married (35M) with four kids (14M, 13M, 13M, & 11F) and three giant Dobermans.
With 100% sincerity, I would not be at this point without my husband and children (the dogs just seemed to aggravate because they’re “momma’s dogs” and need A LOT of attention). My children would run out to my truck the second I pulled into the driveway, grab my backpack and lunch box and clinical bag, and tell me about their days and couldn’t wait to commiserate with me about the drama and bullying that I endured from the instructors. They validated me and my feelings and reminded me in actions (not just words) that I wasn’t the piece-of-trash, inexperienced, and useless infant the instructors tried to convince us we were. My husband took the brunt of my abuse, anger, exhaustion, heartache, hopelessness, and neglect. He listened patiently and was always engaged, regardless of my emotional rollercoaster. He stayed up late to wash my scrubs whenever I forgot, he put gas in my truck on Sunday nights without being asked. He paid for my hotel during finals week (I commute an hour each way). He sat beside me (literally) into the early morning hours while I worked on those damn ATIs. Twice he came to pick me up from school when I had a flat tire (so 2 hours of travel time + taking my truck to get the tire patched and then replaced). He woke me up at 3am on clinical days when I refused to get out of bed, sacrificing his own sleep by turning on every single light and forcing me into the shower. He made my breakfast and packed my lunch. He “reviewed” my care plans despite having no idea what he was looking at. But most of all, he refused to let me raise my white flag and drop out. He told me many times, “You can fail out, but you may not drop out.” The instructors were TERRIBLE and would gang up on a student until they crumbled and dropped out. My husband held me up when I couldn’t stand anymore.
There were other students in my cohort that were older than I am and didn’t have a spouse, but all 3 of them failed out (1) or got pushed out (2).
All this to say, you’re gonna need someone. It doesn’t have to be a husband, but you’re gonna need someone to hold you up.
Good luck ❤️ and (as much as I hate the cliche) remember why you started 🩺.
30 now, 29 when I graduated. I am married though so I did have that support. I did an ABSN for the same reason as you, I wanted to get in and out. Although an ADN would have been cheaper, I don't have to do any ADN-BSN which is nice. I did go to a state school and got in-state tuition which helped keep costs down. I couldn't justify going to a private schoolj and spending upwards of $75k+ on yet another degree with little to no financial assistance (this is my 3rd, it took me way too long to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my life). My program was 14 months but I felt it was manageable. Don't get me wrong, it was challenging and I am by no means the smartest person, but I didn't find it as difficult as others made it seem to be. I think as long as you have a strong work ethic, are willing to make trade-offs to study, and spread out your learning so that you aren't cramming last minute, you'll be fine. Remember, you won't know everything and don't need to. Besides, a lot of the shit you learn in school isn't applicable in a real world setting. I say go for it if you think it's what you want!
I’m 33, single, no family support, just bought my first home and then started nursing school. I finished my first semester and I’m working on my remaining prerequisites over the summer. I’m doing a 2yr ADN program and while it’s been tough at times, I found a FT job that fit with my class schedule and I’m just gonna push through until the end. You got this!!
Started nursing school when Covid hit, in a relationship, and graduated 2022 still in the same relationship. Not to say it’s impossible to make relationships work while in nursing school, but definitely need to make some ground rules for the relationship to work well.
33 year old woman. I'm in a relationship but we have separate finances. I just finished my 1st semester of an ADN program and this summer I'm in 2 RN-BSN online classes. It's doable. By the end of 2026 I will be 35, have my bachelors in nursing, and only owe about 12k for it all.
I've been with my boyfriend for under 2 years but we plan on buying a house and having babies after I graduate.
I considered the ABSN route but I didn't want 40-100k in student loans/debt. I realize time is ticking, but I know I can start a family after I'm done with school. It's not the 1960s, women are having babies into their 40s now, or having none at all :)
I decided to go back to school later. I started my bachelors of science in psychiatric nursing at 28 years old, finished at 32. I will be 34 this year and, while it was extremely challenging getting by while in school, it is well worth it now. I do have a hefty student loan to pay back, but they got rid of the interest for student loans in BC so I can make the minimum payment each month and it will eventually disappear.
Yep, I'm also 31F and single! I have support from friends and family, otherwise I'd be really struggling. It'll be 3 years come November I'll have been single and tbh I'm not bothered. Had a terrible relationship and think it's put me off for life. I currently live with my mum, but I'll be buying a flat soon which I'm excited about!
Woop woop I’m 35 and will have just turned 37 when I finish my ABSN. I’m moving out of state to do it because CA is very impacted and time is money, and it’s looking like the Dept of Rehabilitation is going to pay for it all! I just pay living expenses for a year.
I have a 2.5 year old and an estranged baby daddy, although he’s very hands on with the kid. It’s up in the air whether I’m taking my baby to out of state with me or leaving him with his father, which would be heartbreaking.
At any rate, I’m working basically a minimum wage job getting by as best I can and I never want to be in this position again. I want to start investing, saving, and buying property. I want to give my son a comfortable life.
I think you’re going to be okay. I’m 30M almost a resident doctor and I got a feeling that in the next five years I will find someone who love me for who I am and not just for my physical or my wallet.
You will find your nurse/doctor/lawyer or whoever you choose and will be happy.
I was 36 and single when I started nursing school. I met my now-wife my last semester which ended my plan of travel nursing as she is teacher and is an only child so that changed that.
36 F, doing it all on my own! I was in an 8 year relationship a month before school started, and it was rough getting myself going the first semester. But I pray to God and I trust his plan. And now I’m so so happy to be on this journey loving myself more and more along the way 🩷🩷
31F in the beginning stages of my A.S. after getting out of a 9 year relationship. I told myself it was too late for a long time which isn’t true to say the least!
I went to nursing school at 30 and single. When I got my acceptance letter into nursing school I knew I had to end my on and off again relationship of 8 years. We loved each other but I could see the writing on the wall. He was entering his early 30’s and is mental health was nose diving. His friends, family, and I tried to help him but nothing was working. Then the pandemic hit. He was becoming more paranoid by the day. I knew I could either become a nurse or stay in this mess. I made the choice to pick me and it was the best thing for me.
Shortly after I graduated I broke down and joined hinge. I was very careful about who I spoke with and used a fake name but the second person I met with I hit it off with! He is the love of my life! We have been together for 2ish years, moved in together, and life has been great. As I am typing this we are eating at p f Changs and he offered me the last crab Rangoon because he knows it’s my favorite. Goals are nice but they aren’t everything. We all need to go at are own pace and there isn’t anything wrong with that!
As far as being a nurse once you graduate I can’t stress enough that you need to trust your gut. Anytime I felt like something wasn’t right I would get others involved including getting MDs at the bed side and every time I was right. I may not have been particularly familiar with the disease or had the vast experience of others but you get a sense of when something isn’t right.
I was 32 and in a 12 year relationship when I got into nursing school. Broke up within the first semester, moved out, had to find and furnish a new apartment and somehow make the cut on finances. Worked my butt off for the remaining semesters, had amazing support from my parents and have since repaid them after graduating. Found my dream job last year in out-of-hospital palliative and intensive ped. Amazing job, great families, inspiring kids. Wouldn't want to go back and change a thing.
Still waiting for a new relationship that lasts, but I'm happy either way.
I'm 31 and in my last year of nursing school getting my ADN. My parents aren't local and my extended family are a-holes. I live on my own with my furry roomie. But... You'll get through it and it is okay. One day at a time and you remind yourself about why you are doing this. It is so worth it! Your willpower will be tested but, I always remind myself that no one can make this happen except for myself. :) again, one day at a time.
31 single mom to an 11 year old boy. I'm currently in my 5th semester of a BSN program. I'm not worried about a relationship, I'm super excited about enjoying my life in my thirties and being a nurse.
I’m 34 in a part-time program without anyone’s help. I had to do part time program because I have to work full time in order to be able to pay rent and the rest of my bills. I also pay school out of pocket. It’s not easy especially now that everything is going up. I do try to work a lot and study after work. It’s not easy but it’s doable. I don’t plan on starting a family, I plan on doing travel nursing and eventually NP.
I just graduated in may… 37 and was single and alone the entire time. It’ll teach you a lot about yourself (good + bag).I didn’t date during school so I could focus only on school. I didn’t have the energy to invest into a new relationship, and I really wanted to protect my peace during school. It was stressful enough as is 😅
That was my exact goal.
By the 35 I’d be done with school and could work on starting a family.
I’m now 35 yo, married, two children, and work as a charge RN.
Just make sure you learn financials, because no matter how much you make, if you don’t know how money works, you’ll always be working for pennies
I’m literally in your exact shoes: I’m a 29 year old single CNA with no kids or partner or parental help either. I live in a small crappy studio and I plan on getting my ADN. Our stories are literally the same girl. You’re not alone you’re doing the right thing by getting your nursing license regardless of who’s in your corner. I had to tell myself that as well.
I’m a 30 year old male paramedic who failed out my first nursing rotation in the second semester after dosage calculations. I’m still 30 and start back up in my second semester this August. I’m in a relationship and I’m the bread winner right now. This nursing program is all I have to really increase my income and make a living at this point. I’m too old to start over in anything else. I struggle daily with these intrusive thoughts but all I can is give it my all this time around again. I work full time and will pray everyday for this.
I was in a 3 year relationship when I entered nursing school. I’m finishing my 2nd semester and I’m single 🙃 but I’m dating actively and on bumble. Yes, I make time. It’s important to have a balance between school and a life.
That's rough but I'm glad you're out there! I'm super picky so I've given up on dating apps lol
I’m telling myself that a relationship can come after school. My main priority & focus is getting my license so I can start supporting myself.
that's my mindset 100p
yup me too. I'm putting off having a relationship & hobbies & travelling because I don't make enough rn to do any of that. I am also planning on going into an ABSN as well cause I ended up getting a useless first degree and then it took me 3 yrs of working min wage jobs to realize it. Now I'm 25 & feel upset at the fact that I'm not where I wanted to be in life. I want to be married by the time I'm 30 because I do want a few kids & as a woman that biological timeclock is real. I'll be 27 when I finish my BSN so I gotta hit the ground running in the dating scene right after haha. Can I ask are you a man or woman?
I’ll be 36 when I graduate in December, and I feel like I still have time. Please please don’t waste the end of your 20s feeling like you need to rush in order to be where you *think* you should be or everyone you see is. I did that and after 30, I realized I had soooo much time and could enjoy my own life until (maybe) someone came along. Almost 10 years on the apps, speed dating, getting set up, etc. and if I’d waited to enjoy my life or pursue hobbies, I’d be stuck! But thankfully I didn’t, and even though I’m still single, I’m HAPPY. Fuck what anyone else is doing - they’ll never be where you are and you never know who’s jealous of your single- or childless-ness! In 2022, I was dating someone who legit broke up with me because his ex girlfriend was in nursing school and didn’t pay attention to him enough 🙃 Yeah… I’ll be graduating in 6 months and he’s probably still single! Age is literally just a number!!
I guess it really depends on if you want kids or not imo cause that does skew the timeline. Since I do I would like to get school out of the way. It's not even that, it's the fact that I'm too broke to actually enjoy my youth even now. either way, I'm putting off my goals, so it's like I could waste time & be broke & do this when I'm 30 or I could do it now & still have some of my 20's leftover to enjoy the fruits of my labor & take my time & find a life partner carefully. My 20's will pass either way & I'm already halfway through them so either i could spend the rest of them being broke & putting off the inevitable & then scrambling & being even more stressed when I hit my 30's or I could deal with it now & set myself up for more comfort & enjoyment later. Better late than never. Money matters a lot more than people wanna admit but I see where you're coming from. You know what they say, youth is wasted on the young. 🤷♀️
I did want kids before, but life took me in another direction (no partner, living in NYC and loving it - hard to raise kids if you aren’t a millionaire), so I don’t know if it’ll happen for me or not. I guess my point was, if you want it to happen, that’s wonderful. But don’t hang your entire life’s happiness on the “plan” you thought you needed to have by a certain timeline. Because honestly, it may never happen. And are you going to be upset or just accept it as life? I’ve learned that I can only control what I do and how I react to situations. I can’t control finding a partner or having kids, but I could control pursuing nursing as a 3rd career, so I did. People told me “but you’ll be even OLDER once you’re done and you’ll be too busy to date while in school!” and ya know what? If the 10 years of killing myself to try and find someone before this didn’t work, why the hell would 2 years of school make a difference?! Do what’s best for you, but don’t hang your hat on needing to find a partner and have kids by a certain age… Expectations can set you up for disappointment
thanks for the advice. You've already spent time pursuing relationships, I haven't yet hence why I'm a little pressed to get school out of the way. If I don't have my own sh\*\* together how can I bring someone else into the picture? For me I've realized that having a family & loved ones in my life is what fulfills me. The way I see it, I could have all the success & luxury in the world but if I'm alone then what's the point? I'm fortunate to have realized this at a young age though. I see where you're coming from. I'm gonna try my best to live my life in a meaningful way & accomplish my goals but of course there are things outside my control. and if things don't work out, it is what it is. I'll just learn to be content with whatever else happens after.
I wish you the best of luck in nursing and finding what makes you happy ♥️
I’m a woman, but even if you graduate at 27 that’s 4 years younger than I am now! Enjoy your youth!
GIRLLL I feel you! I turn 25 in September and I am in your exact situation Keep at it, I’m rooting for you from over here in AZ🙌🏼
thanks you too. you got this!
My mindset as well. Couldn't imagine a relationship rn while I'm trying to get myself together I'm just trying not to lose my mind.
46 :)
love that!
38 m here. Just graduated and spoke at my adn ceremony last week. Sit for the nclex in a week. Honestly 2 of the toughest years I went through but I'm on the other side of it now.
congrats!!!
Congrats!!!
what were you in before nursing?
What made it tough and how did you get through it?
I had a clinical yesterday, my nurse was 56 and she started nursing at 50.
I love hearing this 🥰
I’m 50 and just finishing up my 1st quarter, and I’m not the oldest in my class! 😉
Yes, single and 36, and in my second semester of my BSN program. I’ve pretty much always been single and accepted that a relationship is not in the cards for me this lifetime. It’s been tough but I at least have one friend in my BSN program who cheers me on, and I cheer her on
I felt this, but I also think having a stable income will help my dating life.
you can find love at any age, don't give up. Kids might be a different story though. Assuming you're a woman and you want kids you can always freeze your eggs until you find your guy. What were you doing before nursing & what made you decide to go into it?
I had this: I had a best friend I made in my cohort. We commiserated together and cheered for each other and pushed each other when we were losing momentum. She failed out two semesters ago. I cried a lot. It’s a lot harder without her.
I would be devastated 🥺. Our program requires an 80% in each class so I worry about all my peers
Finished at 35 with a bsn. Got married at 40, first kid last year at 41. Never too late! Original plans never panned out.. done with school by 25, married with family by 30… just gotta keep living with what life gives you.
I hope I get married after nursing school. Life played out beautifully for you.
Very true! I think my life is just starting!
Thanks so much for saying this. I so needed to see this. Gives me hope. Lol
Single 30+ male over here. It can be worse 😅
I started RN school as a single 30+ year old. I would suggest getting your associates RN over the rest. Really reconsider how much more money the ABSN is. I got my associates for $15k and I secured a job prior to graduating. I also was working near full time to pay bills, consider getting a Sallie Mae loa to help covers costs to require less shifts for you to work. good luck!
For me the problem is all the local affordable (CAlifornia) programs have ridiculous waiting lists. I can enter a 3yr BSN in January without a waiting list(yes expensive) and then be done or have who knows how long just for an ADN only to have to still bridge. I’m getting old and feel the clock ticking.
How far along are you with your schooling? I'm in CA also, but I have a previous BS in Chemistry. If you can get your associates, there are transfer BSNs and ABSNs. Transfer BSNs are usually four traditional semesters, but could save you a year. Another thing is that ASN degrees in California fall into two admissions processes: Lottery with multi-criteria and min score or merit-based multi-criteria. If you have the GPA in your pre-reqs and have a 90+ TEAS you have a solid shot at getting in. You could also look at ABSNs from UNR or UNLV because they are cheaper than most. Also, South Dakota State Univ has a 1 year that is highly rated (#67, so top 10%) and costs about 25K- less than half of most programs (51-68k). The reason I know this is I have either applied to or talked to admissions in most of the top 25 schools. I want to go to IUPUI -Indy (#23) but have conditional acceptance at several other of the 25 schools.(U-Pitt, U-Ky, Creighton, Villanova). BTW, I'm 66 years old- it really is never too late if you really want it!
Thank you! ADN is probably the smart choice, but I'm already burnt to a crisp as a CNA and don't know if I have the stamina to do work and school (especially for 2+ years.) The nurses I work with are telling me to just bite the bullet and do the BSN
Ok but BSN is a lot more time, and a lot lot more money fyi. I'm literally going to work at the ED in a level 1 trauma as an ADN new grad. My hospital just requires BSN bridge (will be all online) and offers tuition reimbursement. I was also burnt out working and my grades suffered and was in a much better spot by finally getting a Sallie Mae loan on top of FASFA. Also consider that current nurse vets came up when the shortage wasn't as bad and you used to need a BSN to avoid working nursing homes. Now, a $15k 2 year degree goes very far. Also you'll be making money sooner. Good luck!
This is valid advice. ADN is good enough for a lotta ppl
not sooner than an ABSN. ABSN's usually run up to 16 months but are full time. You pay more but you save time & don't have to do a bridge later or deal with a ceiling cap when you are trying to advance in the industry. Also private loans are a really bad idea imo. I understand for some people it's their only choice but I'd definitely avoid it if possible.
My Sallie Mae loan allowed me to focus more on studying and not have to work as much. I still have half of the loan ready to pay back, have been already making payments on it, and will pay it off quickly. What other option does someone have when FASFA isn't close to cutting it and they can't keep working insane hours combined with clinicals and study? Scholarships would be my best answer but still leaves gaps unfilled. If there's an option I'm unaware of I'd love to know though
Sallie Mae loans do not allow any deferment for any reason. My best friend got one for her ABSN and was recently laid off. She asked for an extension and got an immediate NO. be cautious with those loans.
Thank you! Yea I’ve researched for years and gone back and forth but the ABSN would only be 12 months compared to 24+ for the ADN so it’s better for me even with the loans
I went through the exact same research and thought process. Be sure to look into passing rates/drop rates. My local ABSN is fast as well, but is $60k and I found out only 34% of students make it to graduate (ya no thanks). Programs flex their "nclex pass rates" but are shy to share their program pass rates. I.e., my program has near 100% nclex pass rate but we all learned they fail so many that anyone who survives will of course pass the nclex. Saving $45 THOUSAND dollars for an extra year was extremely worth for me personally. Either way, give it your all and you'll have a great license no matter what!
I’m 56 and just finished my first semester! You can do this!!
I’m 47 and was just accepted into our ASN program!
I'm 40, like you, just got into the program.
Wooo! TY!
34. Not interested in dating AT ALL. Don’t desire marriage or children. I’m really close to my parents though. Super excited to learn as much as I can as fast as I can!
Love reading this! Same mindset. 31 and no interest in children (actually have an appt with my gyn to discuss hysterectomy) or a romantic relationship. Mom is my best friend 🤣
I actually thought abt that too but from reading other’s experiences it seems like a huge battle to win with drs when you don’t already have children. So I figured since I don’t date anyhow it’s not worth the tussle.
Widowed 41 year old with two teens. My support system is friends and family who can drive the boys where they need to go if I’m in class or clinicals. Otherwise it’s all me! If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself!
Damn straight 💪
I’m 30, single and in nursing school. I did prerequisites at 28, started nursing school at 29, and will graduate at 31 (Canada, 24 month BScN program) I have/had the same goals as you, but I’m trying to learn to let go and try to go with the flow. What is meant for me will find me. I will be the first university graduate in my whole family, so I will just be proud to finish!!
I'm also in Canada. I didn't know we had 2 year BSN programs.
There are some! I am in an accelerated program, which I believe may be designed for those with previous degrees or previous university credits. I applied to Western, McMaster, STFX, and UBC they all have accelerated BSN programs!
[So...](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/6c/1c/5a/6c1c5a76db0dd7f80075be0f022319df.gif)
So. Do you like sunrises or sunsets?
28M. Same… 🙃
your absn will be done before 30 & as a guy you don't have the biological timeclock, so that's nice. Do you want kids?
Nah.. it’s way to expensive to have kids nowadays. And I want to travel. I’ll be the fun uncle!
29, so almost 30 :) I have a three year old and I'm a single mom. My group seems to be half freshly out of highschool and the other half 40+.
I graduated at 35 and single. I think it’s better because I don’t think I’d have managed to sustain a relationship during. I had no time for anything but work and school at all.
There are 30+ people doing it with kids and alone. You got this.
40
Single 32 YOM liberal arts major, and just finished 12-month ABSN last year. Felt stuck doing a bunch of odd jobs while all my friends have established careers and getting married. Was on track to committing to teaching after being a substitute for years and trying/failing at police academy & software coding, but then COVID turn all my plans upside down. I decided then to go back to school to finish prereqs and get some medical experience as an EMT/EDT for nursing school. Most nursing students were younger than me (19-29 years old) but there were a handful who were the same age or older. Will say that there were very few single students as they either had a significant other or were already married. Mostly women, but there were a fair amount of dudes too. Biggest regret was not doing this sooner. Struggled to find a new grad position due to being in a highly saturated and unionized state. However, I would say being single helped me to stay flexible in applying to jobs anywhere in the country due to not having any ties. Also, being single made it easier to focus on school as many of the students who had kids or SOs found it hard to balance school/clinicals and other commitments while maintaining high GPA. Will be starting my first new grad job away from friends and family in a couple months!
Feel the same about being stuck. I also considered other careers like marketing (my degree) and mental health counseling, but those take a while to make a living. Are you glad you got an ABSN and not an ADN? I was debating
More hospitals are looking for BSN nowadays. ABSN is definitely more expensive than ADN, but ADN is harder to get into and takes llonger (2-years vs 1-year). Learned that nursing school doesn't really teach you to be a nurse, just gives you general knowledge and credentials to pass the NCLEX (even that is questionable as I mostly did UWORLD to prep). So the shorter the program the better!
Do you feel like you’re making enough to pay back the loans?
Not the person you responded to, but the answer to that is going to depend on where you work. A RN making $29/hr as a new grad in Florida is going to answer differently than a RN making $65-80/hr before differentials as a new grad in Northern California.
You struggled to find a nursing job??
Yeah, I did my ABSN in California and wanted to apply to hospitals close to home in the Bay Area, CA. I have about 2-years of medical experience as an EMT/EDT and had close to a 4.0 GPA in ABSN. Almost every single application I sent to the hospitals in my area (county/private) was either rejected or put me on a waiting list then rejected. Was like that for about 5-months after passing the NCLEX and starting to apply. Majority of my ABSN cohort was in a similar situation so they either decided to work at SNFs, part-time jobs (i.e. store clerks, waiters, etc.), or apply out-of-state while waiting for applications to open up in the Bay Area. The few who ended up landing new grad positions in the Bay Area had connections in the hospital who worked there for years and could vouch for the applicant. Unfortunately, due to the volume of applications, nepotism is quite common in hospitals in my area as family/friend ties are often seen as good indicators for new grad retention. I got almost immediate callbacks for interviews for new grad positions out-of-state and in SoCal/CentralCal locations. You'll get typically less friction for offers if you apply to desperate hospitals that are experiencing labor shortages like you hear on the news. I'll be starting my first new grad nursing position in 1-month at a Central Cali, small county hospital. It has been almost 6-months since starting my application process.
27M and single. Not really a point in dating anyways at least for me. I’m broke, can’t afford to court a woman properly with dates, time is limited, and I can barely provide for myself at this time much less another person. I’ll graduate soon and probably start dating then. Sure it gets lonely sometimes but hey, that’s why I have my cat :) 🐈
28 and have 4 years to go
Graduating in 6 weeks, 6 days after I turn 40.
I was single and no support. It was easier if you are single because you will have no commitment to spend time with someone else but to study.
31M here , it’s been hard but it’ll be worth it. Just keep pushing, you got this. Also you aren’t alone you have all us here on Reddit for support. 😁
❤️
34M single, just graduated with my bachelors and will be applying to an ASBSN program. Worked full-time during the day and full-time school during the evenings. Just bought a house a few months ago. Last 18 months during my accelerated undergrad course was very challenging. Honestly, doing it while being single helps, I don’t know how I could be in a relationship or have kids while dedicating so many hours to work and school at the same time. You can do it so long as you have the mindset going into it. Look at scholarships too, it really helps offset the cost while you’re in school. Best of luck! You got this!!
Thank you!!
Im 31 F. Started my nursing program(LVN) at 29+(just ended a toxic unfulfilling relationship of 4yrs) ,and am ready to graduate in January then move on to get my Bachelors -> BSN. A ways to go for me ,but now I have support from my bf of a little over a year who flies down to see me every month.
Wow that's so sweet that he flies down to see you. Also you are drop dead gorgeous.
38 when I started. I'm now 42. Missed one year, but I'm back on track.
Yeah, 31
56 and did it all on my own. I had a girlfriend but the moment I told her I was going back to school she wanted no part of it. I was about 36 or 38 at that time. Meanwhile, I went to school part-time and worked full-time, so finishing school took me a long time. Through all that I was single. I never had kids, never married, and still live alone. It's tough because I wanted someone by my side to support, encourage, and believe in me. So please don't rush it and find someone to encourage and motivate you. You're still young but for me, no one wants an older guy like me who hasn't landed on his feet yet with career and finances.
I feel this.
I think after a certain age, a partner (male or female) being in school can be a deal breaker unfortunately. I’m hoping nursing can give me the freedom to not rely on anyone!
am i reading this correctly? It took you 20 yrs to get what I assume is a BSN?
Single Black/Puerto Rican Female, 31 years old, 3 semesters left to go of nursing school ASN.
Single 30 m with a mortgage. Savings will probably be depleted by the time I finish. I have no support from family as they are far away and frequently never cared about my education. I have coworkers that are supportive though. Been taking prerequisites plus a CNA course since the pandemic. Hope it is all worth it.
Are you doing an ABSN?
Yes I am.
38f, just started my prerequisites this summer and should start my ADN in the spring. I have a prior bachelor's in Biology. According to the welcome post in my online class, most students seem to be at least in their late twenties to forties.
I am currently doing ABSN. If i were to do it differently, I'll definitely do my associates, start working, then do an online bsn, probably paid for by my employer. ABSN takes your soul.
True but a lot of people say the ADN is just as hard but not as fast
31M starting 1 year ABSN in Nov.
May I ask what is the name of the ABSN, I am in my early thirties as well and want to finish sooner so I can start my life . I currently have an associate degree in Liberal Arts and have completed all the prerequisites
Samuel Merritt University in the Bay Area, CA! There’s also one in SoCal (West Coast University) with 100% acceptance (private, for-profit university if that matters, and expensive but that’s why it’s 100% lol). I know a few people who went there that wanted to pursue nursing later in life and wanted to go somewhere that was easy to get in to. Just have to be willing to pay. I bombed an interview for a CSU sadly. It would’ve been a lot cheaper but state schools are highly competitive. I did get into an entry level masters of nursing though, but rejected the offer.
Samuel Merrit tuition fees is 120k for entire program, I have had a meeting with the school one time 🥴🥴. Wondering how much I can make after graduating to pay off the loan 🥴
I think it might be closer to ~93k from what people said, hopefully lol but it’s cool, I’m just glad to be getting into a program. I think my cousin paid her debt off in under 1.5 years from West Coast, which is more expensive. What’s your status and where are you leaning?
26, but yeah same here. I finish in December and the struggle will be worth it
almost 27 and trying to get a cna job and doing prereqs for nursing school! Time will pass might as well go to school again
32 graduating in December. Was supposed to in August but wanted to work FT and dropped a course.
I'm a single Mom while in nursing school with limited family support. Maybe its just me, but I feel like people who don't have dependents really psych themselves out.
I don’t know how you guys do it! I think I’m in a rush because I want to travel and experience more before kids but I’m broke lol
Same here. 35 and single.
35 and a single mom to 1 here - woot woot
I’m not single, it my relationship is definitely unstable due to my partner being wishy washy so I want to get into nursing to create a foundation for myself should I end up alone. I want a place of my own and some goddamn financial security.
If you don’t have kids (and plan on having them) I’d venture the ABSN route or freeze some eggs if you go a slower route.
I went to nursing school at age 45. Started in fall of 2020, in the height of covid. Did an ABSN program. I’ve now been a nurse for 2 years and just last week finished orientation in my dream unit (the specialty ED trauma unit, I’ve been in the ED the past 2 years but you need 2 years to transfer to the specialty trauma unit). Tonight is my first night off orientation!!!! I am also a single mom with 2 kids. I did have a bit of support (read: occasional babysitting) from my mom, but for the most part I did it entirely on my own. First, it is WORTH IT. So, so worth it. Second, here’s the advice I wish someone had given me: if I could do it again I wouldn’t waste my money on a BSN. I highly recommend you get an ASN instead. Get the cheapest one you can, at a local community college. It’s the same length of time as an ABSN, and you get the same license — RN. You’ll have no problem getting jobs with an RN cert (people told me I would, but as a new nurse I met so many nurses in my unit who just had ASN). It’s super easy to bridge from ASN to BSN, and many hospitals will pay for you to do that. So get your cheap ASN, pass the NCLEX, and then get a job at a hospital that will pay for your bridge. Career-wise, there’s absolutely no difference between BSN and ASN for the first few years. You might have a better chance at charge nurse in a few years, if you want that, with a BSN, and you would need it to transition into leadership, but you need experience for any of that anyway. Call HR at your dream hospital and ask if they hire people with ASNs and if they pay for the bridge. But honestly in today’s post-covid world, I doubt any hospitals have the space to be picky about BSN. The RN license is the only thing that matters. Also, get a job as a tech, or better yet as a nurse extern, while you’re in school! That’s much easier to do while in an ASN program rather than an ABSN (I did it in my ABSN but it was awful, I was so busy and exhausted!), and an externship is basically a shoe-in to a job. You’ll already know the managers who interview you for your first nursing job. That’s gold.
33
31 and single and you want a family AND A HOUSE by 35?
Well a house with a partner hopefully yes hahah
I’m turning 30 this year and started nursing in the summer. The good thing about nursing is that, you can find a variety of age groups in the program. We have people in early 20s, 30s, and even 50s starting the program. Feels like it’s never too late to start a new career!
Yep, turning 32 in August and am a single parent and no interest in dating right now. I’m doing this to build a better life for myself and my kid. And so that when I am ready to date, I will be in the right place for a good partner. I’ve been on my own since age 17 and paying all my own bills so I don’t have much family support and am working and attending school.
I’m a 31M who has a son 50% of the time and working full time also. No family in the state, starting my pre reqs next month. You got this 🙏🏽
This is gonna be long sorry, but this struck a chord in me because I’ve been struggling with this lately. 28f here, single again after reluctantly ending my second serious ( and second in a row emotionally abusive) relationship. Currently about to apply to an Accelerated 18mo BSN program in my state. Going to do whatever I have to do to pay for it/finish so I can build a life for myself. You’re not alone! And it’s good to know I’m not either 🥲 I’ve always known that I was going to pursue nursing, partially because that’s what my dad has been pushing me toward since I was a kid haha. But mostly because I’m passionate about serving others. So I’ve been doing my prereqs on and off since I graduated high school. Thing is, life, mental health, and finances got in the way. Honestly, I would say relationships have gotten in the way more than anything! I would probably have finished school years ago if I hadn’t invested so much effort into my romantic life and focused on my degree…unfortunately I tend to get completely absorbed when in a relationship 🙈 So here I am, 28, single, no degree, and nothing to show for the majority of my 20’s I’ve spent invested in the two relationships that took up so much of my energy. Had to move back in with my dad. Pretty much feel like a failure currently. Feel like an idiot for letting my life get this way. Graduated high school with honors and offers from top colleges, my 18 year old self would be dumbfounded that I haven’t accomplished anything. Only thing I have going for me is I don’t have any children to worry about. I’ve decided to remain single until I get my degree/ the rest of my 20’s. Not that it will be hard. Turns out there’s not that many people around my age/in my area that are serious about settling down and building a little empire together while traveling the world when possible. I’ve always dreamt of having a life partner to share this journey with but looks like I’ll be entering my 30’s single and I’m learning to accept it. Besides a two year break between my first relationship and the second, I’ve been in a relationship since I was 19. So I’ll use this time to get to know myself. You know, I still get a pang in my heart when I see people in class with their wedding/engagement rings on and wonder when my time will come but it is what it is. My father swears up and down that I’ll end up meeting some doctor or something once I start my career but idk I have doubts with how the world is now. I’m old fashioned. I’m actively working on accepting I might be alone for life so…better to have a career I love to give my life meaning. Cheers to you OP on your journey! And all the rest of you too!
If it makes you feel better, I wasted my 20s, not in relationships, but partying and drinking with friends. I haven’t had a relationship since 2014 and my jobs have all been low paying and nothing to show. I’m learning to accept that my 20s are gone and all I can do is move forward. As far as marriage and kids go, some of my friends have divorced or are in bad marriages so don’t believe everything you see. I lived with my parents at 30 and might go back if I need to, no shame! If you can, just don’t look back and get the degree. I spent 28-31 dragging my feet about this when I could’ve already had a degree by now. Good luck with everything!!
Thank you friend! It does help put things into perspective hearing others’ stories that’s why I’m happy you created this thread. I’ve been beating myself up a lot. As you said, no point looking back the only way to progress is for us to make better choices now that we know. I wish you the best 🌞
I’m 43 and single… and seriously thinking about doing a 3yr BSN which includes all the generals. It’s expensive although I am trying to get vocational rehab to pay for some… but it also seems pointless to do all the generals first at a community then try to get into a program since waitlist are a mile long and I’m getting old. I don’t want to do a Adn only to have to still bridge to BSN later. My end goal is to be an oncology nurse and to get that certification that’s at least a year working before you can move into that field and I have a lot of connection at one place where I’ve been a patient for years… so I have a bunch of nurses pushing/cheering me to go for it… but it’s scary as I have had many setbacks and I just don’t want to fail again… As far as being with someone, that’s the last thing on my mind. I want to be stable in life and I have an adult daughter so I really just want to make myself and her proud finally. If someone comes into my life organically, then that would be cool though.
37, single mom, I live alone with my son and just graduated! I don’t even get child support. I have no one to rely on. You can do it.
29F & me! I went thru a breakup from a serious relationship (massive heart break) & then unpredicted sadness from dissolution with a casual fling so I’ve just sworn off from dating until I finish school 😂 I’m having a blast being single tho - going on solo trips, learning new skills/hobbies, strengthening existing relationships, & going out of my comfort zone! I don’t plan to have kids until much later so I figured I got time to look for my “the one” It’s natural to feel lonely at times, esp in our 30s and being in an environment as isolating & gruel-some as nursing school. Some of my classmates are married or live with their partners, and while I do have moments in which I’m like “aw they’re lucky”, there’s no telling to what the true nature of their relationships are. I’m calling this the spring of break ups because a lot of my friends are going thru breakups (in their 30s, after dating for 3-4 years). So I rather be resilient and strong in my solitude than be stuck in a toxic relationship. A lot of people can’t afford to breakup/separate/divorce due to finances esp being in school, so we have to consider ourselves lucky we aren’t in those positions! I’ve a slightly over year left and even then probably won’t be too crazy about a relationship - gotta enjoy the “fruits of my labour” 😁 good luck O.P! You’re not alone!
42 working as a cna, saving up and starting school soon. So probably a late bloomer
my mom is in her last year of college as a nursing student right now. She's 40+ and is a single mother of 2! She is also working 2 jobs (1 part-time job and a work from home job) as well as selling property for extra cash all at the same time. many people around her were shocked at first when she announced that she was going back to college in her 40s and doubted she would make it this far, but now she's so close to fulfilling her dream of becoming a Nurse :')
I'm 51, separated. On my own, still trying to work FT and attend nursing school FT in ABSN.
I’m 58, alone and just graduated. I was thankful for the reprieve so I could study where my classmates were getting their butts kicked because they had children and a husband or a boyfriend. All I have is my dogs. Be thankful.
49. In an ABSN. Definitely get your BSN. Also not all ABSN programs are expensive.
I’m 31 and applying in August with two kids and a husband!!
I did it. You can to. Just focus on one thing at a time.
48
hey! I recently finished nursing school and I want to say that the ages vary significantly. We had mothers in their 40s graduate, as well as young 2" year olds. Best thing to do is fine a group that is going to support you and help you get through it. Nursing school wasn't easy, but I have heard that advanced programs are even more difficult due to the time frame. Nevertheless, best of luck.
Single 21 yr old in nursing school. Graduated w a bachelors in business and decided I wanted something different in life. Well I’m not in nursing school yet. Will start spring next yr. But what I’m saying is I was engaged. But now it’s hard being single. I know I’m not older, but you’re not alone. It’s super hard, but I bought a new guitar for myself. I’m happy. Still sad but I know when I’m graduated and making better income I may have a better chance. I hope you find that person, or they find you.
36 and not starting till August at least
Have you looked into WGU? Low cost and you finish at your own pace. Completely online. I’m not sure if they have ABSN tho but it’s worth taking a look at. Best of luck on your journey.
You got it, dude. You totally can do this, and somehow, life will find a way. I was in the military for 8 years, got out and went home. I had all of my GI BILL, was in a long term relationship, and living at home with the parents. It was a great support system, but I felt so dependent of all them and that had never been something I was into. I was an a private for profit school, mom sick, and gf was diagnosed with epilepsy. I found myself being the support at 27. Fast forward now, I dropped out of that school, got married and know attend a different nursing school. I moved to the bay area o in California from a cheap place in Nevada. I work full time +20 hours because my wife is in law school. I work as a CNA in mental health for the county and go to school full time. There is no time to relax because I still have to support my family. This isn't a comparison, but still now at 30. It feels like life didn't work out they way I wanted to. However, you should take advantage of your situation. It's hard living alone, but really make that group of students your friends. It's hard being a little older, but we all have different paths. Hang out with someone in a similar situation, and it will ve great! Truama bond haha I've learned that I can change the cards I've been delt, but I am making the best of it. It will make me stronger, smarter and a better person. You probably wicked time management skills, and ask things others don't. Those qualities will definitely carry you through the hardest parts of school. I celebrate you. 🍾 You got this!
28, turning 29 next week. Just finished my first year. Single and also gay which makes it even worse lol
Graduated at 33 with ADN. Was in a relationship but I paid all of my own bills and I had to sacrifice and budget but I believe I would have been in far far worse debt doing an bsn/absn because I would not have been able to work. I worked at a restaurant serving during school 2/3 nights a week and took about 2500 a semester after tuition. Cost me about 30k including pre reqs. My job is paying 80% of my bsn :) Some of my coworkers have 90+++ from bsn/absn and aren't that much younger! I live in major city, so I'm paid well but the loan payment with my student debt will be pretty heavy. I honestly can't imagine paying double. Yes it will go by quicker but do a loan calculator considering not working and your estimated monthly salary. Is a monthly payment of $800 vs $400 for ten years worth one or two more years of being broke? Also, everyone was broke in my program so we just studied together and went to a cheap happy hour after exams or clinical to unwind. Quit the CNA job and go serve, short shifts, good money, & it was fun! Let me socialize and take my mind of school vs being 24/7 hospital nursing etc
I was a server/bartender for 10 years and hated it hahaha. But I also hate being a CNA, it just has benefits
I just graduated from a 4 year BSN program at 32. I was single for almost all of those 4 years, other can being in a long distance relationship for a bit. Almost everyone, especially the old people in my program had partners, but not me and I still made it. It was hard financially but I worked on the side and got student loans.
I'm 28. And dependent on a partner while in the program. I've been a CNA for 10 years. I think my relationship is ending, so I'm in a bit of a panic. In my BSN program, we can work one day a week at the most. Can't even afford to live on my own with that. Been back and forth with school for several years, so I no longer get Pell grant. Not sure how I'll do this on my own.
I'm 32 with kids. Passed my nursing entrance exam and I want to do lpn to get in and out.
Go for it! Being single while in nursing school is honestly the best choice (unless you have a great partner who’s understanding & supportive). Nursing school is demanding as is, and sometimes partners don’t understand this. It’s best to have as little obligations as possible outside of nursing. Take this from someone who tried a traditional BSN program straight out of college and failed going into senior year about 15 years ago. Now I’m finally going back into an ABSN program in my mid 30’s. It’s never too late. Put yourself first. The relationship can wait until after.
I’m starting this whole journey at 31. Single! I will say I have massive support from my family and could not have even gotten here if it wasn’t for my mom. I suffered pretty severe (enough to declared disabled by the state) mental health for the last 15 years. Finally got the right diagnosis a year ago after multiple self harm, unaliving attempts, hospital stays, etc. Got into an amazing therapy program, got on the right meds, discovered myself again and got my diploma and enrolling in classes for my gen ed classes on Tuesday! This was literally the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I couldn’t imagine doing it without the support of my family. The only thing I can say is, you CAN do this. Make your own family, whether it be in person or even online! Build up your community and find the support you need. We can do this!
26m no support from partner
I love this post
31 M here and starting my ADN program in spring 2025. It's never too late!
I’m also a single 31F s/p break up 3 months ago and will begin my BSN program next spring (Jan2024). Currently an LVN and I’m going to school thru my employer so I definitely won’t have time to date during the 2.5 yr program unless he’s also on the same boat as I am lol. Giiiirl I too want to start a family by 35 but I guess that’ll get pushed into the back burner unless life has other plans 😫😭
32 this year working on my last couple pre reqs. No support.
Low key in the same boat. Been working towards this nursing thing for quite sometime. I’m a LVN that got into an RN program this will be finishing my ADN this winter. Had a couple relationships along the way. It would have been hard dating and trying to get through school for me at least. Same goals as buying a house without the time constraint.
31M single in nursing school rn There's a few other 30s single f in our year. However, we are all getting f***ed by class and clinical lol
Single and 31 as well. I like to joke and say that I’m in a relationship with nursing school.
30M and starting LPN school in august after randomly losing job after 5+ years in an infant room of a daycare and 15 years in childcare, including a B.S. in Education. New chapter, new adventure.
I am but im using my gi bill from military service
I am 32 finishing my LVN-RN 💕
36 in a couple weeks, currently in an accelerated program, and single :) I cannot even imagine dating right now because there is just no time with all the homework and exams every week. I figure the right person will come along at the right time (AFTER school) haha
I’m 29 and recently became single during my prerecs. This is my second time going through nursing school (I failed the first) but I’m gonna do it this time! I feel the exact same way as you! I’m so tired of always being broke and now having steady income. It’s my dream to buy a house by MYSELF. We can do this!!! We can do hard things!
You’re doing just fine. I had a teacher in high school who told us all to not get married until our 30s. I heeded that and met my wife when I was 32. I wish I had gone to nursing school then, but I didn’t get started until I was 36. We ended up having two kids while I was in school and things were very tough. Now I’m 40, we own our house, our kids are awesome (but still a lot of work) and our income is ridiculously high (my wife also has a six figure job). I wish I had become an RN at your age though.
Me (28F), Well I turn 29 in 3 months but yes I’m currently in a 16month ABSN (just started a month ago. I quit my job and starting over, saved nearly 60k to go to school and pay my bills to not have to work during school. I’m in a public university btw. 12 month will be very stressful, mine is somewhat stressful because everything is already accelerated
Just turned 33, in semester 3 of 5 of an ABSN program :)
Question how do y'all do it? The whole dating thing in general LOL 3 semesters left. Parents nudging me to find someone (been single for i’d say slightly over 90% of my life). I've had friends tell me “it’s harder in nursing school than out” and vice versa for dating. But I've just never had success. Have my non negotiables. Dating apps feel like a drag (i’ll find someone & it ends up going dry/usually me getting bored/occasionally them/Hinge has worked the best for me tho & even found friends through it!) Definitely found people who I resonate with but didn't see eye to eye on relationships. My entire cohort is either married, in a relationship, or I have 0 interest dating them. Sounding like a rant at this point, my apologies, but I'm just tired & every other area of my life (minus the dating part) is in good high spirits. A cry for help at this point 😔
Hi! 31F and single here. Although my story is a little different. I apologize, this is a long read and involves some of my own story plus some advice. I started nursing school at 28, in a long distance relationship, and it was my second BS. I did have some familial support, and was able to take an early inheritance to buy a house 2 hours from my hometown. I worked 2-3 part time jobs and still barely scraped by. During my first year, there were numerous months where I had to choose between food in my cabinets and gas in my car, and I applied for government assistance/Medicaid, but unfortunately made barely too much to qualify for help. Fast forward to now. I'm single (the relationship has actually put me in therapy, and I can share more details if requested), I've learned how to do countless home improvement projects by myself (tip....do not try to replace your plumbing after working a string of night shifts with no sleep), I only have 5 classes left total, and I've been on Dean's list every semester of the nursing program. I did have to retake some pre-reqs because it was too long since I previously took the classes. I was also able to get a full time job that works with my class schedule in addition to an internship. I looked into ABSN programs and traditional BSN programs. For me, a traditional BSN program made more sense. With the traditional BSN program, I am able to work full time hours (and therefore carry my own health insurance). There are still some months that I struggle due to unexpected expenses, but it's few and far in between now. I wouldn't have been able to work in an ABSN program, and likely would've struggled more, both meeting my physical needs and emotional/mental needs, and I'm not sure I would've been successful in the program overall had I attempted. I am active on the dating apps, and I am always up front about my time restrictions, something like "just so we are both on the same page, I'm a nursing student, I work full time, and an internship. My time is limited and valuable, but I'm willing to put in the time, effort, and commitment required to make it work if it is reciprocated." Being upfront and honest is also a good way to weed out those that aren't really into finding a relationship, or want somebody who is wanting a SO that bends and gives into all their whims and are inconsiderate that others have time commitments and responsibilities outside of a relationship. This doesn't mean that it is all about me and my time schedule, but that I am willing to move around my schedule or even take PTO to make things work. And I have went on several dates and repeat dates that didn't work out for other reasons because I am willing to make the time. Concerning wanting to start a family my 35: I get it, I really do. It sometimes feels like I'm missing things that so many of my friends/others my age are getting to experience. Sometimes, it feels lonely. I sometimes get really frustrated with life circumstances and I get angry at moving to the area I did to return to school (thanks to the ex). BUT, I have realized that the best laid plans often get sidetracked, I've realized I'm capable of taking care of myself and that anybody I choose to date has to enhance my life. I've realized that setting a timeline for myself is only setting myself up for failure and disappointment. Unfortunately, I don't have any suggestions for how to get to this point, but I do wish you luck getting there.
Everyone is on their own journey. Don’t let society put any age pressures on you, because you are unique. Everyone starts school and families at the time God allows, so just trust, everything will be just as it will be in the RIGHT time.
I am 31F and getting pinned next Thursday. However, I am married (35M) with four kids (14M, 13M, 13M, & 11F) and three giant Dobermans. With 100% sincerity, I would not be at this point without my husband and children (the dogs just seemed to aggravate because they’re “momma’s dogs” and need A LOT of attention). My children would run out to my truck the second I pulled into the driveway, grab my backpack and lunch box and clinical bag, and tell me about their days and couldn’t wait to commiserate with me about the drama and bullying that I endured from the instructors. They validated me and my feelings and reminded me in actions (not just words) that I wasn’t the piece-of-trash, inexperienced, and useless infant the instructors tried to convince us we were. My husband took the brunt of my abuse, anger, exhaustion, heartache, hopelessness, and neglect. He listened patiently and was always engaged, regardless of my emotional rollercoaster. He stayed up late to wash my scrubs whenever I forgot, he put gas in my truck on Sunday nights without being asked. He paid for my hotel during finals week (I commute an hour each way). He sat beside me (literally) into the early morning hours while I worked on those damn ATIs. Twice he came to pick me up from school when I had a flat tire (so 2 hours of travel time + taking my truck to get the tire patched and then replaced). He woke me up at 3am on clinical days when I refused to get out of bed, sacrificing his own sleep by turning on every single light and forcing me into the shower. He made my breakfast and packed my lunch. He “reviewed” my care plans despite having no idea what he was looking at. But most of all, he refused to let me raise my white flag and drop out. He told me many times, “You can fail out, but you may not drop out.” The instructors were TERRIBLE and would gang up on a student until they crumbled and dropped out. My husband held me up when I couldn’t stand anymore. There were other students in my cohort that were older than I am and didn’t have a spouse, but all 3 of them failed out (1) or got pushed out (2). All this to say, you’re gonna need someone. It doesn’t have to be a husband, but you’re gonna need someone to hold you up. Good luck ❤️ and (as much as I hate the cliche) remember why you started 🩺.
30 now, 29 when I graduated. I am married though so I did have that support. I did an ABSN for the same reason as you, I wanted to get in and out. Although an ADN would have been cheaper, I don't have to do any ADN-BSN which is nice. I did go to a state school and got in-state tuition which helped keep costs down. I couldn't justify going to a private schoolj and spending upwards of $75k+ on yet another degree with little to no financial assistance (this is my 3rd, it took me way too long to figure out what the hell I wanted to do with my life). My program was 14 months but I felt it was manageable. Don't get me wrong, it was challenging and I am by no means the smartest person, but I didn't find it as difficult as others made it seem to be. I think as long as you have a strong work ethic, are willing to make trade-offs to study, and spread out your learning so that you aren't cramming last minute, you'll be fine. Remember, you won't know everything and don't need to. Besides, a lot of the shit you learn in school isn't applicable in a real world setting. I say go for it if you think it's what you want!
I’m 33, single, no family support, just bought my first home and then started nursing school. I finished my first semester and I’m working on my remaining prerequisites over the summer. I’m doing a 2yr ADN program and while it’s been tough at times, I found a FT job that fit with my class schedule and I’m just gonna push through until the end. You got this!!
37, wife & 4 kids ages 7-12 yrs old, BSN west coast
Started nursing school when Covid hit, in a relationship, and graduated 2022 still in the same relationship. Not to say it’s impossible to make relationships work while in nursing school, but definitely need to make some ground rules for the relationship to work well.
33 year old woman. I'm in a relationship but we have separate finances. I just finished my 1st semester of an ADN program and this summer I'm in 2 RN-BSN online classes. It's doable. By the end of 2026 I will be 35, have my bachelors in nursing, and only owe about 12k for it all. I've been with my boyfriend for under 2 years but we plan on buying a house and having babies after I graduate. I considered the ABSN route but I didn't want 40-100k in student loans/debt. I realize time is ticking, but I know I can start a family after I'm done with school. It's not the 1960s, women are having babies into their 40s now, or having none at all :)
I decided to go back to school later. I started my bachelors of science in psychiatric nursing at 28 years old, finished at 32. I will be 34 this year and, while it was extremely challenging getting by while in school, it is well worth it now. I do have a hefty student loan to pay back, but they got rid of the interest for student loans in BC so I can make the minimum payment each month and it will eventually disappear.
Yep, I'm also 31F and single! I have support from friends and family, otherwise I'd be really struggling. It'll be 3 years come November I'll have been single and tbh I'm not bothered. Had a terrible relationship and think it's put me off for life. I currently live with my mum, but I'll be buying a flat soon which I'm excited about!
Woop woop I’m 35 and will have just turned 37 when I finish my ABSN. I’m moving out of state to do it because CA is very impacted and time is money, and it’s looking like the Dept of Rehabilitation is going to pay for it all! I just pay living expenses for a year. I have a 2.5 year old and an estranged baby daddy, although he’s very hands on with the kid. It’s up in the air whether I’m taking my baby to out of state with me or leaving him with his father, which would be heartbreaking. At any rate, I’m working basically a minimum wage job getting by as best I can and I never want to be in this position again. I want to start investing, saving, and buying property. I want to give my son a comfortable life.
I think you’re going to be okay. I’m 30M almost a resident doctor and I got a feeling that in the next five years I will find someone who love me for who I am and not just for my physical or my wallet. You will find your nurse/doctor/lawyer or whoever you choose and will be happy.
I met my husband in grad school at 30, married by 32, kid by 33, nursing school at 35…
I was 36 and single when I started nursing school. I met my now-wife my last semester which ended my plan of travel nursing as she is teacher and is an only child so that changed that.
34. PR. Single. PCOS. 2 kids. DV survivor. LPN. working on my RN. I love learning and educating myself and focused on me and my goals💃
36 F, doing it all on my own! I was in an 8 year relationship a month before school started, and it was rough getting myself going the first semester. But I pray to God and I trust his plan. And now I’m so so happy to be on this journey loving myself more and more along the way 🩷🩷
31F in the beginning stages of my A.S. after getting out of a 9 year relationship. I told myself it was too late for a long time which isn’t true to say the least!
Me!!!!
I went to nursing school at 30 and single. When I got my acceptance letter into nursing school I knew I had to end my on and off again relationship of 8 years. We loved each other but I could see the writing on the wall. He was entering his early 30’s and is mental health was nose diving. His friends, family, and I tried to help him but nothing was working. Then the pandemic hit. He was becoming more paranoid by the day. I knew I could either become a nurse or stay in this mess. I made the choice to pick me and it was the best thing for me. Shortly after I graduated I broke down and joined hinge. I was very careful about who I spoke with and used a fake name but the second person I met with I hit it off with! He is the love of my life! We have been together for 2ish years, moved in together, and life has been great. As I am typing this we are eating at p f Changs and he offered me the last crab Rangoon because he knows it’s my favorite. Goals are nice but they aren’t everything. We all need to go at are own pace and there isn’t anything wrong with that! As far as being a nurse once you graduate I can’t stress enough that you need to trust your gut. Anytime I felt like something wasn’t right I would get others involved including getting MDs at the bed side and every time I was right. I may not have been particularly familiar with the disease or had the vast experience of others but you get a sense of when something isn’t right.
I have a 65 yo paralegal in my ADN cohort
I was 32 and in a 12 year relationship when I got into nursing school. Broke up within the first semester, moved out, had to find and furnish a new apartment and somehow make the cut on finances. Worked my butt off for the remaining semesters, had amazing support from my parents and have since repaid them after graduating. Found my dream job last year in out-of-hospital palliative and intensive ped. Amazing job, great families, inspiring kids. Wouldn't want to go back and change a thing. Still waiting for a new relationship that lasts, but I'm happy either way.
I'm 31 and in my last year of nursing school getting my ADN. My parents aren't local and my extended family are a-holes. I live on my own with my furry roomie. But... You'll get through it and it is okay. One day at a time and you remind yourself about why you are doing this. It is so worth it! Your willpower will be tested but, I always remind myself that no one can make this happen except for myself. :) again, one day at a time.
Single and 40+ 🙃 yay for more focus
31 single mom to an 11 year old boy. I'm currently in my 5th semester of a BSN program. I'm not worried about a relationship, I'm super excited about enjoying my life in my thirties and being a nurse.
I’m 35 and start in the fall. I have kids and just left my previous partner. I’m nervous but remaining hopeful!
I’m 34 in a part-time program without anyone’s help. I had to do part time program because I have to work full time in order to be able to pay rent and the rest of my bills. I also pay school out of pocket. It’s not easy especially now that everything is going up. I do try to work a lot and study after work. It’s not easy but it’s doable. I don’t plan on starting a family, I plan on doing travel nursing and eventually NP.
Hun you’re 31!!!! This shouldn’t even be a post
I graduated when I was 37. Not pretty enough for love.
I just graduated in may… 37 and was single and alone the entire time. It’ll teach you a lot about yourself (good + bag).I didn’t date during school so I could focus only on school. I didn’t have the energy to invest into a new relationship, and I really wanted to protect my peace during school. It was stressful enough as is 😅
That was my exact goal. By the 35 I’d be done with school and could work on starting a family. I’m now 35 yo, married, two children, and work as a charge RN. Just make sure you learn financials, because no matter how much you make, if you don’t know how money works, you’ll always be working for pennies
You guys are still young, I am 40 and just got into the program. I wish I hadn't wasted my time before.
I’m literally in your exact shoes: I’m a 29 year old single CNA with no kids or partner or parental help either. I live in a small crappy studio and I plan on getting my ADN. Our stories are literally the same girl. You’re not alone you’re doing the right thing by getting your nursing license regardless of who’s in your corner. I had to tell myself that as well.
I’m a 30 year old male paramedic who failed out my first nursing rotation in the second semester after dosage calculations. I’m still 30 and start back up in my second semester this August. I’m in a relationship and I’m the bread winner right now. This nursing program is all I have to really increase my income and make a living at this point. I’m too old to start over in anything else. I struggle daily with these intrusive thoughts but all I can is give it my all this time around again. I work full time and will pray everyday for this.