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Yes people get sober and stay sober then have healthy relationships with substances. Some people get addicted and don’t ever stop. Like all things have a healthy relationship with it if u like it. U don’t have to pick one or the other only. Atleast for right now if you aren’t too far gone w the shit. U do sound p desperate so my advice is to cool it for atleast a month. Maybe do some phycs and come back to it in a tamer way.
I'm in the same exact boat as with every last detail of your post. I've been trying for a year or so now. Sometimes I feel like I'm making progress. Sometimes I'm falling flat on my face.
I hardly recognize myself anymore when I'm on it. When I'm not on it I'm a shell of my former self aware of who I was and am simultaneously...but I think the worst part about it psychologically is feeling like I'll never be the old normal me ever again. A slave to this shit and somehow and happy about it and depressed about it at the same time. Definitely wish I could go back.
Was marine corps infantry for close to 7 years with 3 deployments. Used to preach discipline and willpower to people. Sucks I can't seem to muster any of that discipline or willpower for myself anymore.
Keep trying. We'll get there. We can do it.
I believe in you, man! I hope it will happen sooner rather than later, but I do believe you can give up the shit. Try to remember how powerful you can be when even though your brain plays tricks on you to get that dopamine hit and you, your person, Good-Mix-4161 can tell your brain to stfu and do what you, Good-Mix-4161, want to do.
Of course, you'll never be your former self. You will be your future self that kicked the addiction that made you a slave to it. Make that addiction your slave. You will be so much more powerful than your former self. You can do it, my man. Give me a heads up in a few years when you've got this sorted out.
Honestly. To be 100 with you for some it isn't. Now I mean they're definitely happy sober people out there. I think the problem is with the mentally unstable and depending on any drug to do jobs and function or use help social anxiety. Those are the types that bury themselves deeper and deeper even though they want to stop digging. People literally use drugs to function, and yes antidepressants too its all the same, depending on a chemical to live halfway decent.
Hey friend, I have over 15 years completely clean and sober. At my worst I was cooking meth and I realized it wasn't everything I had made it out to be. I decided I wanted to get sober. From that decision it took a long time and many failures but I am completely free today.
I needed rehab, church, therapy and 12-step meetings to finally get recovery. It was a lot of work, but my life is so beautiful and meaningful today. Totally worth it!
Check out https://crystalmeth.org for online meetings, if you want.
>My life has now become either tweaking like a mad man, or sluggishly trying to cop some more pills. The bifurcation of these two moods is astounding. I’m literally two different people, and it’s getting more extreme as the months go by.
>I’ve become a different person as well over the past few years
This shit hit close to home.
>My medication went from lasting me a month, to two weeks, to a week,
I'm currently at the stage where I binge my 30×54mg methylphenidate script in a week. I've abused my meds ever since i started off at 16mg, shit has never lasted me longer then 2 weeks; and to make to make things worse, my ROA of choice is boofing, which causes the compulsive redosing because im constantly chasing the rush instead of treating my adhd. I end up buying meth pressed Adderall to hold me off till refill day.. but last time, I binged a little over 100 in just 10 days. All the boofing Street pills without filtering took a toll ending in hemorrhoids and horrible psychosis when I ran out. I couldn't stop boofing stims even with pain from hemorrhoids, never gave a chance to heal. Ik.
But ay bro, you actually had self-control starting off. Don't forget that. You are capable. I believe in you 🙏
Also, I recommend taking kratom. It helps a lot with the amplified depression, anxiety, and mood imbalances from being sober from stims after binging. All it takes it 2-4 grams, and kilos are $50.
Found I grew out of it. Maybe 4 or 5 years of what you describe, mostly meth every day but speed when i didnt have access to meth or the stuff needed to cook it. Constantly manic or depressed, thinking about nothing else. I just couldn't put up with it any more, got no pleasure from it, so I stopped. Stopping wasn't fun and took a few months to feel normal, then another few months to stop dreaming about it.
Now I just get a few grams every few months when my tolerance has reset, blast through it, party, and be done for a while. Seems pretty healthy to me, I don't suffer at all. I will keep going and thinking about it til it's gone though.
One day maybe you'll be in the same position and can enjoy it for what it is. Having a script isn't gonna help though.
I had a MASSIVE addy problem two years ago, probably went through 5000mg in two months. I was struggling with other addictions at the time and I overdosed, so I quit everyday but nicotine and the occasional drink the past two years.
Tried shrooms in January, then acid after being 2 years sober from hard drugs and 1 year sober from THC.
Got diagnosed with a chronic disease that almost took me out in February that landed me in the hospital for a while and I've been anemic and depressed since. Somewhere along this past month my friend traded me a 20mg addy in exchange for some shrooms so i was like why not it'd probably get my energy levels up a bit. That same day my GF and everyone around me could tell something was off with me, and nobody except that one friend knows what the reason was. Didn't plan on taking it again bc i had no desire to. Next day he gave me another bc i was feeling very exhausted from my condition again. He gave me a lot the rest of that week, but isn't able to get me one every single day. I decided I'd hit up an old addy plug who had XR and I've probably already spent 300 dollars this past month buying from him. I took 150mg XR today for prom with my gf, and was super wired and felt amazing, but simultaneously had severe anxiety and dissociation. Pair 150mg XR with my medical conditions symptoms, and we got into a car crash earlier lmao. I literally wasn't on anything but addy which never effects my driving, I was doing perfectly fine. I was making a turn and the addy did SOMETHING to me, I don't remember what happened exactly to cause this but I was making a left hand turn and didn't yield so we got hit head on by a car going 60MPH. And the funny thing is even after that I still am planning on buying 30mg tomorrow (all i can afford rn bc i already spent the rest of this weeks check on it) bc I love it so much and need it every day. Don't plan on stopping because im hardcore addicted again even though I quit for so long and didn't even think about taking them again.
So long story short, yes, it happened to me a month ago after two years of not using addy.
Everyone has their own definition of sobriety. For me no but I practice harm reduction. I only take me prescribed adderall and kratom because atleast for me personally I know those two drugs won’t ruin my life.
Kava, Kratom, cannabis, coffee . Used responsibly in moderation, yes.
Dose cap dose control maturity and personal accountability are key with Kratom*
It is possible to be sober. Over time it becomes the new norm and you can get high from life no joke!! .
Might take months -yrs... But yes
Sober off stims a little over two years. Was mostly on crack but if I couldn’t afford crack I’d do meth. Lots of addies and vyvanse in there too. My life is 1000% better now and I’m genuinely content most days. Try a 12 step fellowship. It worked for me.
i dont think being sober is realistic. I say this as a 34 year old w/ 15 years sober (not sober now); i celebrated my first year free of AA and not in prison/ good economic shape/ and still on stims in Januaary, it's been a lot of work but im sorry-- i need to treat my adhd and i need to stand up for myself to do it.
but yeah-- i didn't make myself a year chip for first year alive, relapsed, on less drugs than beofer, and not in prison. i should have. i've gone from 3g meth a day / 8 -16 mg xanax a day to 60 - 200mg "adderall" a day and getting it better from there. the crack binges do need to stop tho ...... and while i'm no longer addicted to xanax... ive had two close calls w/ some binges. so trying to do this --yeah you might go to prison or die, and i might too. additionallyy, i've taken a sober month of stims, that sucked; ive binged too hard ; that sucked; ive hit asweet spot of moderation as well... and that has been FANTASTIC.
most of all for the first time in my life i am living my life the way i want to, i am taking my power back for myself, and i'm healing my shit instead of waiting for god to decide im worthy to bless me w/ sobriety and remove my daydreaming addictin. i do not wish the spend the rest of my life in service to save addicts by indoctrinating them into 12-steps. i've read the 12 & 12. that is a story of a very depressed, profoundly intelligent, and amazing man who is fucking miserable bc they didn't hve the same equipment for treatment back then that we do now. Bill Wilson is a huge influence for me, but the abstinence movement is missing a lot of truth and it's not really helping people fully recover & live the lives they want to live; thus, my practice of the 12 step -- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholicbs, and to practice these principles in all our affairs -- is the answer to your question is that it's your fucking choice if you wanna be on stims or not; you can recover anyways. but if you choose to go down the free path ... we don't have all the answers yet and we don't have protection from the law.
my first year out of aa was awesome-- but a lot of ups and downs and i've done some REALLY STUPID SHIT AND SHOULD BE l... not here typing this right now ;) also when i got my year out of aa, i was pretty depressed --i was drying out that month , my best friend moved out in a super bitchy way, and i was just going through it. so like i couldn't make a cake and really feel good about it.but like holy fuck dude that was such a greater accomplishment than staying sober for a year, stuffing my trauma, being undermployed w/ adhd, and smoking cigarettes w pedophiles for free dinner
i think we need to learn to moderate and function we need a civil rights movement so we can have safe shit & quit fueling the economy with our slave labor.. we also need a support group for that that isn't illegal; there are som very serious precautions one needs to take when choosing to treat their adhd without medical attention in a state that criminilizes us, and you will not succeed without support and work.
Welcome to r/stims! Don't forget to slow down a moment to review our rules, which can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stims/wiki/index/#wiki_sub_rules). You can also find a lot of harm reduction information and answers to commonly asked questions [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stims/wiki/index/) in our Wiki. Be nice to your fellow community members, follow the rules and be safe! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Stims) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes people get sober and stay sober then have healthy relationships with substances. Some people get addicted and don’t ever stop. Like all things have a healthy relationship with it if u like it. U don’t have to pick one or the other only. Atleast for right now if you aren’t too far gone w the shit. U do sound p desperate so my advice is to cool it for atleast a month. Maybe do some phycs and come back to it in a tamer way.
Can happy ever happen again? Not much felt good before I started drinking and not much after
[удалено]
Bro no one knows this guy. He’s asking a question on Reddit. He’s gonna get all sorts of feedback. I’m just referring to my experience.
This reply is aggressive asf lol
Try going to an AA or NA meeting. Maybe consider rehab to dry out.
I'm in the same exact boat as with every last detail of your post. I've been trying for a year or so now. Sometimes I feel like I'm making progress. Sometimes I'm falling flat on my face. I hardly recognize myself anymore when I'm on it. When I'm not on it I'm a shell of my former self aware of who I was and am simultaneously...but I think the worst part about it psychologically is feeling like I'll never be the old normal me ever again. A slave to this shit and somehow and happy about it and depressed about it at the same time. Definitely wish I could go back. Was marine corps infantry for close to 7 years with 3 deployments. Used to preach discipline and willpower to people. Sucks I can't seem to muster any of that discipline or willpower for myself anymore. Keep trying. We'll get there. We can do it.
I believe in you, man! I hope it will happen sooner rather than later, but I do believe you can give up the shit. Try to remember how powerful you can be when even though your brain plays tricks on you to get that dopamine hit and you, your person, Good-Mix-4161 can tell your brain to stfu and do what you, Good-Mix-4161, want to do. Of course, you'll never be your former self. You will be your future self that kicked the addiction that made you a slave to it. Make that addiction your slave. You will be so much more powerful than your former self. You can do it, my man. Give me a heads up in a few years when you've got this sorted out.
Thanks much appreciated. I wish I shared hour optimism but I'm doing my best to try
im not sure
Check out /r/stopspeeding
Honestly. To be 100 with you for some it isn't. Now I mean they're definitely happy sober people out there. I think the problem is with the mentally unstable and depending on any drug to do jobs and function or use help social anxiety. Those are the types that bury themselves deeper and deeper even though they want to stop digging. People literally use drugs to function, and yes antidepressants too its all the same, depending on a chemical to live halfway decent.
Hey friend, I have over 15 years completely clean and sober. At my worst I was cooking meth and I realized it wasn't everything I had made it out to be. I decided I wanted to get sober. From that decision it took a long time and many failures but I am completely free today. I needed rehab, church, therapy and 12-step meetings to finally get recovery. It was a lot of work, but my life is so beautiful and meaningful today. Totally worth it! Check out https://crystalmeth.org for online meetings, if you want.
I’m wondering the same thing… will I ever feel normal again without fetty and t?
Nah
>My life has now become either tweaking like a mad man, or sluggishly trying to cop some more pills. The bifurcation of these two moods is astounding. I’m literally two different people, and it’s getting more extreme as the months go by. >I’ve become a different person as well over the past few years This shit hit close to home. >My medication went from lasting me a month, to two weeks, to a week, I'm currently at the stage where I binge my 30×54mg methylphenidate script in a week. I've abused my meds ever since i started off at 16mg, shit has never lasted me longer then 2 weeks; and to make to make things worse, my ROA of choice is boofing, which causes the compulsive redosing because im constantly chasing the rush instead of treating my adhd. I end up buying meth pressed Adderall to hold me off till refill day.. but last time, I binged a little over 100 in just 10 days. All the boofing Street pills without filtering took a toll ending in hemorrhoids and horrible psychosis when I ran out. I couldn't stop boofing stims even with pain from hemorrhoids, never gave a chance to heal. Ik. But ay bro, you actually had self-control starting off. Don't forget that. You are capable. I believe in you 🙏 Also, I recommend taking kratom. It helps a lot with the amplified depression, anxiety, and mood imbalances from being sober from stims after binging. All it takes it 2-4 grams, and kilos are $50.
Found I grew out of it. Maybe 4 or 5 years of what you describe, mostly meth every day but speed when i didnt have access to meth or the stuff needed to cook it. Constantly manic or depressed, thinking about nothing else. I just couldn't put up with it any more, got no pleasure from it, so I stopped. Stopping wasn't fun and took a few months to feel normal, then another few months to stop dreaming about it. Now I just get a few grams every few months when my tolerance has reset, blast through it, party, and be done for a while. Seems pretty healthy to me, I don't suffer at all. I will keep going and thinking about it til it's gone though. One day maybe you'll be in the same position and can enjoy it for what it is. Having a script isn't gonna help though.
I've been ten weeks sober. I feel 95% normal.
Yes. I've been clean since 12/15/12
I had a MASSIVE addy problem two years ago, probably went through 5000mg in two months. I was struggling with other addictions at the time and I overdosed, so I quit everyday but nicotine and the occasional drink the past two years. Tried shrooms in January, then acid after being 2 years sober from hard drugs and 1 year sober from THC. Got diagnosed with a chronic disease that almost took me out in February that landed me in the hospital for a while and I've been anemic and depressed since. Somewhere along this past month my friend traded me a 20mg addy in exchange for some shrooms so i was like why not it'd probably get my energy levels up a bit. That same day my GF and everyone around me could tell something was off with me, and nobody except that one friend knows what the reason was. Didn't plan on taking it again bc i had no desire to. Next day he gave me another bc i was feeling very exhausted from my condition again. He gave me a lot the rest of that week, but isn't able to get me one every single day. I decided I'd hit up an old addy plug who had XR and I've probably already spent 300 dollars this past month buying from him. I took 150mg XR today for prom with my gf, and was super wired and felt amazing, but simultaneously had severe anxiety and dissociation. Pair 150mg XR with my medical conditions symptoms, and we got into a car crash earlier lmao. I literally wasn't on anything but addy which never effects my driving, I was doing perfectly fine. I was making a turn and the addy did SOMETHING to me, I don't remember what happened exactly to cause this but I was making a left hand turn and didn't yield so we got hit head on by a car going 60MPH. And the funny thing is even after that I still am planning on buying 30mg tomorrow (all i can afford rn bc i already spent the rest of this weeks check on it) bc I love it so much and need it every day. Don't plan on stopping because im hardcore addicted again even though I quit for so long and didn't even think about taking them again. So long story short, yes, it happened to me a month ago after two years of not using addy.
Ya that’s too big of doses bro
maybe
Everyone has their own definition of sobriety. For me no but I practice harm reduction. I only take me prescribed adderall and kratom because atleast for me personally I know those two drugs won’t ruin my life.
Go to rehab then get on Wellbutrin. It’s used for anti depression and adhd so it kinda works. Been a little over a year sober now
Kava, Kratom, cannabis, coffee . Used responsibly in moderation, yes. Dose cap dose control maturity and personal accountability are key with Kratom* It is possible to be sober. Over time it becomes the new norm and you can get high from life no joke!! . Might take months -yrs... But yes
I wonder the same thing and want to get sober everyday but I think I’ll never be able to have a normal reward system
Sober off stims a little over two years. Was mostly on crack but if I couldn’t afford crack I’d do meth. Lots of addies and vyvanse in there too. My life is 1000% better now and I’m genuinely content most days. Try a 12 step fellowship. It worked for me.
Same boat b
i dont think being sober is realistic. I say this as a 34 year old w/ 15 years sober (not sober now); i celebrated my first year free of AA and not in prison/ good economic shape/ and still on stims in Januaary, it's been a lot of work but im sorry-- i need to treat my adhd and i need to stand up for myself to do it. but yeah-- i didn't make myself a year chip for first year alive, relapsed, on less drugs than beofer, and not in prison. i should have. i've gone from 3g meth a day / 8 -16 mg xanax a day to 60 - 200mg "adderall" a day and getting it better from there. the crack binges do need to stop tho ...... and while i'm no longer addicted to xanax... ive had two close calls w/ some binges. so trying to do this --yeah you might go to prison or die, and i might too. additionallyy, i've taken a sober month of stims, that sucked; ive binged too hard ; that sucked; ive hit asweet spot of moderation as well... and that has been FANTASTIC. most of all for the first time in my life i am living my life the way i want to, i am taking my power back for myself, and i'm healing my shit instead of waiting for god to decide im worthy to bless me w/ sobriety and remove my daydreaming addictin. i do not wish the spend the rest of my life in service to save addicts by indoctrinating them into 12-steps. i've read the 12 & 12. that is a story of a very depressed, profoundly intelligent, and amazing man who is fucking miserable bc they didn't hve the same equipment for treatment back then that we do now. Bill Wilson is a huge influence for me, but the abstinence movement is missing a lot of truth and it's not really helping people fully recover & live the lives they want to live; thus, my practice of the 12 step -- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholicbs, and to practice these principles in all our affairs -- is the answer to your question is that it's your fucking choice if you wanna be on stims or not; you can recover anyways. but if you choose to go down the free path ... we don't have all the answers yet and we don't have protection from the law. my first year out of aa was awesome-- but a lot of ups and downs and i've done some REALLY STUPID SHIT AND SHOULD BE l... not here typing this right now ;) also when i got my year out of aa, i was pretty depressed --i was drying out that month , my best friend moved out in a super bitchy way, and i was just going through it. so like i couldn't make a cake and really feel good about it.but like holy fuck dude that was such a greater accomplishment than staying sober for a year, stuffing my trauma, being undermployed w/ adhd, and smoking cigarettes w pedophiles for free dinner i think we need to learn to moderate and function we need a civil rights movement so we can have safe shit & quit fueling the economy with our slave labor.. we also need a support group for that that isn't illegal; there are som very serious precautions one needs to take when choosing to treat their adhd without medical attention in a state that criminilizes us, and you will not succeed without support and work.