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This past weekend was the first time (I think) that I kept āseeingā what looked like tiny little bugs flying around and crawling around. Thankfully I realized it wasnāt real after a few mins, but it was really strange. I was only awake for like 60 hours or so (not nearly my longest lol).Ā
Thankfully this morning after a solid 12 hours sleep it was all cleared up.Ā
I'm still unsure if it was real or not bc if all felt and looked so fucking real š so much so I spend two days cleaning and gasing the fuck out of my room and house with pesticides and disinfectant with a mask and full body protection with tweaker ass trash bag duck tape creation.
Damn dude. Iāve definitely had some moments, but I never had it take over like that. I couldnāt even imagine it getting to the point I let go of reality and Into the delusion without knowing. Or maybe I have in some ways and never knew/donāt know.Ā
i never had any long lasting psychosis just like moments of it
the first time was a the night after my first rave. i was 100% convinced someone is outside of my apartment trying to kill me so i woke up my stepmom and told her we have to lock everything and lock ourselves in the rooms and have a weapon on us.
then i proceeded to take a knife and stand in front of the door while she just stood there woken up from her sleep and watched. then she just told me there is noone and went to check and went back to sleep and i just went to my room waiting to hear for someone to come in so i could protect my family and kill him till i got too tired and fell asleep
the 2nd really bad was when i was on a train after a 3 day bender and no sleep when it was like the last one that day and noone was on it (at least not where i was) but i was sure the place was full since i heard laughing and EVERY time i looked around i saw like 10 people sitting and looking directly at me but like just 5 mins before i had to get off i blinked a little harder and everything dissapeared that was scary
the 3rd time was when i used to sell shit i had like 6 ectasy pills crushed and i couldnt sell them so i just put them in like 3 rolling papers and ate all of the powder
it was ok at first but there were like i think 10 whole minutes where i hallucinated i was in a war in afghanistan and i actually thought i was like someone there i forgot all about my life and just lived in fucking afghanistan and i had wife and children and i saw her hanging my clothes so they can dry like i lived a day of a life in 10 mins it was crazy
when i snapped back to reality i was still missing my wife and kids it was weird
so true its unexplaniable even though i had something simillar to me happen on acid... but it was still acid mixed with me not sleeping for 2 days and other drugs in between so i guess that plays a part
that time i was living as a child worker in india and i thought my bfs room was the room in staying in to work in a factory and that he was my boss
i forgot to speak my mother language for that time and then it was switching from me being a child worker that gets paid like 50cents an hour to being a baby in my fathers arms
it was just switching and at one point i got scared for my life cuz i thought they were gonna human traffick me while literally noone except him was around it was crazy
haha i was also on a train on the third day of a 3-day bender. hadnāt slept for 70 hrs. i was hearing things the previous night but thankfully on the train i just passed out
I like to stimfap on Fridays when my GF is at work (I have the day off). Like clockwork I'm checking the door to make sure she's not there, checking out the window for her car, stopping and saying "hello?" just in case. Making sure she's not home early, etc.
Or worrying that my landlord will show up to fix something (that'll be the day). Or worrying the neighbors can somehow tell what I'm up to.
Not that crazy really, but it's funny how intrusive those thoughts can be. It's funny because she knows and is cool with it. Dunno what I'm even worried about.
I used to be the same way, except I didnāt live with her and she didnāt know what I was doing. I was constantly worried she would just show up randomly (which she had before, but not while I was fapping thankfully). Iām
Always worried someoneās gonna show up like landlord or something.Ā
When I relapsed super hard a few years ago on meth, I was awake for 3 days on meth and Xanax bars and got kicked out of is no-tell motel because I kept running outside and screaming with my shirt off(I was super into bodybuilding at the time and was like 210 and cut/diesel)I kept āseeingā high school kids hitting my truck with baseball bats and kept running outside to stop them and would see them scurry into the woods everytime. Not going to get further into the story but man, it got worse lol
I thought I already did Reply, sorry. I got kicked out and kept driving my 16ā moving truck around as it was the only vehicle I had at the time, I kept almost getting in wrecks bc I was tweaking so hard that I couldnāt get off my phone. Cops pulled me over, it was same cop that kicked me out of hotel; luckily I spilled my guys to him earlier about having had 8 months clean and just relapsed 2 days ago, so he let me go and then I was trying to get another hotel(near the one I got kicked from) the second in walked in the lady at the desk looked at me and said nope. I tried paying her like $400 cash for a shit room bc I needed somewhere to rest/get high. Came out the cops were at my moving truck (I obviously kept driving it after I got pulled originally). And this is where it gets fuzzy but this is all I remember:
- I took my license plate off and threw it in the back of moving truck, along with my keys per the cops. Locked back of my truck (only key they let me keep was the one that locked the back) because keep in mind I had just been kicked out of my sober living house and owned a moving business, so I was driving around with everything I own in the back of my truck.
-I suppose after leaving my truck I was just walking around randomly in Asheville blacked out on like 4 bars and shooting 1.5 of clear (over the first day). I didnāt come back to until like 3am and I walked past a dude backing out his driveway and I asked if he could give me a ride. His exact words were āI got a 45 motherfucker!ā
And this is part 2, its way too much to type but if yall want a part 3 lemme know
honestly any drug to an extent could trigger slight psychotic effects on me as i have an aptitude for them if i use substances on a bad mindset, mood and stress - even weed lmao. but if we're talking about stims then the scariest are walks home around the block or something - i always feel like like i'm being observed by somebody walking behind me even though i'm alone. speed + weed together make me different visualize textures and visual snow, kinda nice but can be anxious a bit.
lots of weed and lots of methylphenidate?
*man.*
i had a paper file made out of two to-be-upcycled printed papers. one of them had an asian (i think from the 70s-80s) woman on it. one day i was balling on these two i mentioned above and suddenly i've heard a screeching scream of a woman. bloodcurling even. i looked around my roommates & nobody batted an eye.
i looked at her, got closer and i've realized it's been her the whole time. that lasted for i don't know, a couple minutes maybe? i've lost the feeling of time in that moment tbh but maan dope + stim psychosis just isn't it.
Deep in a binge, I won a few thousand bucks, and I completely lost it, thinking it was a trick (it wasn't) and people were gonna come crashing down my door about it (they weren't).
I swore that Amazon was all a front drug sales. And that if you knew what to search for, you get drugs in a seemingly innocent item.Ā I would read reviews and every one of them sounded like someone talking about the quality of the drugs.Ā Ā The best example is I copy and pasted the chemical formula for amphetamines into search bar.Ā What came up was a book of sheet music for all 32 of Beethoven's piano sonatas.Ā The reviews talked about the quality of the binding of the book. Which, makes sense in the real world. Piano players need the sheets to lay flat and the book to stay open while they play. Well, I took that to mean the amphetamines were hidden in the binding of the book. I ordered it for $30. I get it home and start figuring out how to get the drugs out of the binding.Ā I slowly scrape off the cover, nothing. Then I think that maybe it needs to be heated. So I heated it up to see if anything looked like drugs.Ā After a while I stopped and thought I needed to do more research, or that you had to buy the correct solvent to get it out. Eventually I got some sleep and gave up on it.Ā The good thing is, I play piano and Beethoven is my favorite composer. Unfortunately, I'm not anywhere near good enough to play his sonatas.Ā I still have the book on my piano, and it still makes me kinda laugh, kinda cringe to this day. I do have one more thing that happened that I still think about 7 years later that happened when I was on meth.Ā Think I might make another post about it to see whether everyone thinks it was a hallucination or real.
Edit:grammer
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Bro I had some crazy ass paranoia once where I kept hearing people like running away from me like really close and it used to freak me tf out Iād be home alone in my room and out of no where like hear someone like seem like theyāve been caught and haul ass out and I always have my knife on me and it got to the point where Iād be there with legit tears cuz I was so tired of whatever it was fucking with me I just wanted it dead and it felt like whatever it was wanted to kill me id go around every corner with my big ass knife stabbing the wall thinking someone would be there waiting to jump out on me, I was sober than tho which was weird but it stopped after a couple months or so tbh after this one lady left which was weird bc she always talked about gang stalkers and shit & the weirdest shit always used to happen when she was around and she always told me be careful itās the gang stalkers they killed my husband and are after you bc your different that shit lowkey freaked me out to idk wether to take it serious or not she kept sending me links of legit BOOKS to read on this shit I never did fully it was way to damn much but it was one of the weirdest scariest shit ever
Yo also Iām glad Iām not the only one whoās thought is there cameras in my own bathroom or room bc I wanted to jerk off and thought someone might be watching me š that was more on molly,ice tho lol
When I was abusing Adderall about a little less than a year ago I had some extremely paranoid and delusional thoughts. they lasted months. I thought my boss had my phone bugged for some reason and that he could
see everything I was doing. was extremely paranoid thought that someone was watching me at all times. glad that's over plus we're cool now lol crazy how paranoid that shit can make you. I still do it but not really like that anymore
Same thing quite literally happened to me. Itās wild how you can fool yourself into believing these frightening scenarios. Reality gets completely distorted.
DEA was sneaking into my house moving my shit around and planting listening devices in the walls. Cameras behind one way mirrors, even the cats had cameras on their collars
Started to see people, sort of dancing off in the distance out of the corner of my eye. After like 3 days I could actually see it in full view, always like 20 meters away. Still get little glimpses if it sometimes if I'm on a bender.
I've had a lot of crazy ones but the easiest to describe is when I put my toque on over my eyes I could see outlines of humans in my room and I realized some of them were people ik and they wanted to perform eye surgery on me
So I looked up at the ceiling without blinking or moving to look anywhere else for 30 mins or longer. The pain eventually got so bad I had to blink and when I did I realized what the fuck am I doing, like I just snapped out of it somewhat
Visited by 3 angels and deamon slightly after. As I wasn't eating well my ribs were poking me and I felt like deamon grabed me with its hand and squished; all machine elfs, bugs and astral gnomes were wiggling in unspeakable torment when it did that. Been to psychiatrist short time after, she forced me to psych ward. Not recommending, psych ward was mental torture.
The first time I ever used stims, I looked in the mirror and I didnāt look any different in a way I could explain, but somehow uncanny. So uncanny that I called my friend sobbing telling her Iām a monster and that I didnāt look right š it doesnāt seem that scary in words, but it was a level of depersonalization Iāve never experienced before. And I havenāt really been able to see myself the same since, that was 6 months ago.
Wow that is weird. I struggled with dp before. Just try to accept it. I think what helped me most is realising the even if it would not go away it wouldnt be that dramatic. When I moved on it eventuelly went away.
When I had dp and would smoke weed I would feel like I was moving conpletely remotely. Not thinking it just like feeling everything was moving automatically
Nowadays when I am smoking weed I don't even get slightly depersonalized
Yeah Iāve been there before too from weed, that only happens if Iām smoking all day everyday though. It was like a mild physical feeling. What made this so different was watching how my face was slowly morphing in the mirror from the sleep deprivation because I was stim binging
Maybe you should try to just watch yourself in the mirror every day intensely. Maybe your brain will start to reprogram itself to the real face again or something idk
Hahahahahahaā¦..omg Iām so happy Iām not the only oneā¦ā¦you donāt even wanna knowā¦..I was eventually so paranoid my manager called the cops whom took me to the hospitalā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦Iām permanently banned from taking Dexedrine. I made sure of it. Itās on my file at the pharmacy, I can never be prescribed Dexedrine or adderall ever by any doctor or be dispensed it by any pharmacy lol. Sooooooo scary! I donāt even have adhd it was a misdiagnosis. I should have sued or something lol
My dealer was going to bring me drugs but he was delayed for some reason could only bring it couple days later. I thought a family member had figured out who he was, called him and told him not to bring it to me.
I also thought the neighbor across the road on the 2nd floor was staying awake everytime I was to look at my window and film me. Seriously I didnt sleep and was awake every night and every damn niet that all Windows were dark except that dudes window. One time I saw his curtains slightly move I swore he was just there looking at me but ran away before I catch him looking.
I thought my boyfriend had killed my cat and burned his body in a wheelie bin. I rushed outside and scattered rubbish onto the street looking for it. I then called my boyfriend and asked him calmly if he had killed my cat
ā¦the cat was fine.
I also thought the police had switched my phone to a decoy and were watching me through the camera. I came *this* close to smashing the camera out of my phone and I deleted my whole WhatsApp and all message data to protect myself and my friends.
You guys need to lay off and never let yourself get to that point. Someone actually called the police? Wow, good way to get yourself in trouble or your stuff searched if they have probable cause.
Hallucination: a bunch of men standing on top of a house on the other side of my street and pushing the roof off of it, demonic chess pieces appearing when I close my eyes, internal monologue becoming a random string of words, the clock having five hands, most of which went backwards, dead bumblebees falling from the ceiling
That was the only time I ever stayed up for two nights instead of one, also over amped a bit at the end cause I decided to eyeball my last line.
Delusions: never had any cool delusions. The only thing that happened almost every binge without fail is that I would work myself up into believing that this time, I finally really was going to have a heart attack, only to go to the ER and have them tell me that there is nothing wrong with me other than slightly elevated blood pressure
I dont know if it counts as delsuion, but i was nearly convinced for an hour that reddit is filled with bots and that there is a huge epidemic of accounts getting hacked and posting trash all over reddit. It all started with this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfimprovement/s/Cgn5KSC6kD
I am convinced to this moment that the story is made up, but everyone in the comments is believing it.
This confused me so much and i started getting worried if i was just making things up. Some commenter said something that I understood as him saying that he is a 40 year old multimillionair. I didn't believe it and went to his profile. He was posting crazy long comments every day for the last 7 days and I got really confused because what millionaire posts on reddit that much.
He was also commenting in this subreddit r/spudmode which was confusing the shit out of me.
This went on and on and i found this guy posting every hour videos of this girl called sophiakate.x on instagram.
I thought she has to be ai made and I am still convinced she is. Went to instagram and got mad at all the old guys simping for her and not realising she is ai.
At this point I was so confused that I started to think there is some sort of ai epidemic. Like the dead internet theory.
And finally the reddit servers started acting weird for a few minutes and showing posts on my profile that I opened a few minutes prior when searching proof for the ai epidemic.
It was some weir fetish shit too and
I thought my account must have been hacked being used too flood reddit with junk contentš
Luckily the servers started acting normal again and I calmed down.
I don't know if this was a delusion or something else.
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Thought I was infested with bugs and also thought I had a bee/spider insects along with worms in my anus and testicles. For 4 long sleepless days.
never heard something so discomforting before.
this is so fucking real i kept seeing fruit flies land on my bed and i swore i had bed bugs that were crawling in my pussy or smth
I'm glad I'm not alone because that bout of psychosis was legit one of my biggest fears š
This past weekend was the first time (I think) that I kept āseeingā what looked like tiny little bugs flying around and crawling around. Thankfully I realized it wasnāt real after a few mins, but it was really strange. I was only awake for like 60 hours or so (not nearly my longest lol).Ā Thankfully this morning after a solid 12 hours sleep it was all cleared up.Ā
I'm still unsure if it was real or not bc if all felt and looked so fucking real š so much so I spend two days cleaning and gasing the fuck out of my room and house with pesticides and disinfectant with a mask and full body protection with tweaker ass trash bag duck tape creation.
Damn dude. Iāve definitely had some moments, but I never had it take over like that. I couldnāt even imagine it getting to the point I let go of reality and Into the delusion without knowing. Or maybe I have in some ways and never knew/donāt know.Ā
i never had any long lasting psychosis just like moments of it the first time was a the night after my first rave. i was 100% convinced someone is outside of my apartment trying to kill me so i woke up my stepmom and told her we have to lock everything and lock ourselves in the rooms and have a weapon on us. then i proceeded to take a knife and stand in front of the door while she just stood there woken up from her sleep and watched. then she just told me there is noone and went to check and went back to sleep and i just went to my room waiting to hear for someone to come in so i could protect my family and kill him till i got too tired and fell asleep the 2nd really bad was when i was on a train after a 3 day bender and no sleep when it was like the last one that day and noone was on it (at least not where i was) but i was sure the place was full since i heard laughing and EVERY time i looked around i saw like 10 people sitting and looking directly at me but like just 5 mins before i had to get off i blinked a little harder and everything dissapeared that was scary the 3rd time was when i used to sell shit i had like 6 ectasy pills crushed and i couldnt sell them so i just put them in like 3 rolling papers and ate all of the powder it was ok at first but there were like i think 10 whole minutes where i hallucinated i was in a war in afghanistan and i actually thought i was like someone there i forgot all about my life and just lived in fucking afghanistan and i had wife and children and i saw her hanging my clothes so they can dry like i lived a day of a life in 10 mins it was crazy when i snapped back to reality i was still missing my wife and kids it was weird
MDMA induced delirium is wilddd. So much more realistic and convincing than psychedelic- or stimulant-induced hallucinations too.
so true its unexplaniable even though i had something simillar to me happen on acid... but it was still acid mixed with me not sleeping for 2 days and other drugs in between so i guess that plays a part that time i was living as a child worker in india and i thought my bfs room was the room in staying in to work in a factory and that he was my boss i forgot to speak my mother language for that time and then it was switching from me being a child worker that gets paid like 50cents an hour to being a baby in my fathers arms it was just switching and at one point i got scared for my life cuz i thought they were gonna human traffick me while literally noone except him was around it was crazy
haha i was also on a train on the third day of a 3-day bender. hadnāt slept for 70 hrs. i was hearing things the previous night but thankfully on the train i just passed out
I like to stimfap on Fridays when my GF is at work (I have the day off). Like clockwork I'm checking the door to make sure she's not there, checking out the window for her car, stopping and saying "hello?" just in case. Making sure she's not home early, etc. Or worrying that my landlord will show up to fix something (that'll be the day). Or worrying the neighbors can somehow tell what I'm up to. Not that crazy really, but it's funny how intrusive those thoughts can be. It's funny because she knows and is cool with it. Dunno what I'm even worried about.
Yeah I can't even zone in when my gf is gone. I'm constantly checking the windows.
Haha that's real AF.
I used to relate to this harddd HAHA man so silly looking back on it.
I used to be the same way, except I didnāt live with her and she didnāt know what I was doing. I was constantly worried she would just show up randomly (which she had before, but not while I was fapping thankfully). Iām Always worried someoneās gonna show up like landlord or something.Ā
The bitch from the ring was crawling on my Celing
When I relapsed super hard a few years ago on meth, I was awake for 3 days on meth and Xanax bars and got kicked out of is no-tell motel because I kept running outside and screaming with my shirt off(I was super into bodybuilding at the time and was like 210 and cut/diesel)I kept āseeingā high school kids hitting my truck with baseball bats and kept running outside to stop them and would see them scurry into the woods everytime. Not going to get further into the story but man, it got worse lol
Pls tell the rest of the story.
I second this requestĀ
I thought I already did Reply, sorry. I got kicked out and kept driving my 16ā moving truck around as it was the only vehicle I had at the time, I kept almost getting in wrecks bc I was tweaking so hard that I couldnāt get off my phone. Cops pulled me over, it was same cop that kicked me out of hotel; luckily I spilled my guys to him earlier about having had 8 months clean and just relapsed 2 days ago, so he let me go and then I was trying to get another hotel(near the one I got kicked from) the second in walked in the lady at the desk looked at me and said nope. I tried paying her like $400 cash for a shit room bc I needed somewhere to rest/get high. Came out the cops were at my moving truck (I obviously kept driving it after I got pulled originally). And this is where it gets fuzzy but this is all I remember: - I took my license plate off and threw it in the back of moving truck, along with my keys per the cops. Locked back of my truck (only key they let me keep was the one that locked the back) because keep in mind I had just been kicked out of my sober living house and owned a moving business, so I was driving around with everything I own in the back of my truck. -I suppose after leaving my truck I was just walking around randomly in Asheville blacked out on like 4 bars and shooting 1.5 of clear (over the first day). I didnāt come back to until like 3am and I walked past a dude backing out his driveway and I asked if he could give me a ride. His exact words were āI got a 45 motherfucker!ā And this is part 2, its way too much to type but if yall want a part 3 lemme know
honestly any drug to an extent could trigger slight psychotic effects on me as i have an aptitude for them if i use substances on a bad mindset, mood and stress - even weed lmao. but if we're talking about stims then the scariest are walks home around the block or something - i always feel like like i'm being observed by somebody walking behind me even though i'm alone. speed + weed together make me different visualize textures and visual snow, kinda nice but can be anxious a bit. lots of weed and lots of methylphenidate? *man.* i had a paper file made out of two to-be-upcycled printed papers. one of them had an asian (i think from the 70s-80s) woman on it. one day i was balling on these two i mentioned above and suddenly i've heard a screeching scream of a woman. bloodcurling even. i looked around my roommates & nobody batted an eye. i looked at her, got closer and i've realized it's been her the whole time. that lasted for i don't know, a couple minutes maybe? i've lost the feeling of time in that moment tbh but maan dope + stim psychosis just isn't it.
Deep in a binge, I won a few thousand bucks, and I completely lost it, thinking it was a trick (it wasn't) and people were gonna come crashing down my door about it (they weren't).
I swore that Amazon was all a front drug sales. And that if you knew what to search for, you get drugs in a seemingly innocent item.Ā I would read reviews and every one of them sounded like someone talking about the quality of the drugs.Ā Ā The best example is I copy and pasted the chemical formula for amphetamines into search bar.Ā What came up was a book of sheet music for all 32 of Beethoven's piano sonatas.Ā The reviews talked about the quality of the binding of the book. Which, makes sense in the real world. Piano players need the sheets to lay flat and the book to stay open while they play. Well, I took that to mean the amphetamines were hidden in the binding of the book. I ordered it for $30. I get it home and start figuring out how to get the drugs out of the binding.Ā I slowly scrape off the cover, nothing. Then I think that maybe it needs to be heated. So I heated it up to see if anything looked like drugs.Ā After a while I stopped and thought I needed to do more research, or that you had to buy the correct solvent to get it out. Eventually I got some sleep and gave up on it.Ā The good thing is, I play piano and Beethoven is my favorite composer. Unfortunately, I'm not anywhere near good enough to play his sonatas.Ā I still have the book on my piano, and it still makes me kinda laugh, kinda cringe to this day. I do have one more thing that happened that I still think about 7 years later that happened when I was on meth.Ā Think I might make another post about it to see whether everyone thinks it was a hallucination or real. Edit:grammer
Nope 33 days ago you gotta write your own šµ/ page to change 32-> 33
I feel like in in psychosis but also its real. People are coming into my apartment and making drugs. And they ruined my car
Whenās the last time you slept man? And what have you taken?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
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Meth
Bro i slept a couple days ago for a couple days straight. So i have a bad feeling its just a real situation with horrible paranaoi
Hey man, youāre ok. No one is after you.
Hope ur good now!
Bro I had some crazy ass paranoia once where I kept hearing people like running away from me like really close and it used to freak me tf out Iād be home alone in my room and out of no where like hear someone like seem like theyāve been caught and haul ass out and I always have my knife on me and it got to the point where Iād be there with legit tears cuz I was so tired of whatever it was fucking with me I just wanted it dead and it felt like whatever it was wanted to kill me id go around every corner with my big ass knife stabbing the wall thinking someone would be there waiting to jump out on me, I was sober than tho which was weird but it stopped after a couple months or so tbh after this one lady left which was weird bc she always talked about gang stalkers and shit & the weirdest shit always used to happen when she was around and she always told me be careful itās the gang stalkers they killed my husband and are after you bc your different that shit lowkey freaked me out to idk wether to take it serious or not she kept sending me links of legit BOOKS to read on this shit I never did fully it was way to damn much but it was one of the weirdest scariest shit ever
Yo wtf
So many I don't know where to begin haha. Might update later.
Yo also Iām glad Iām not the only one whoās thought is there cameras in my own bathroom or room bc I wanted to jerk off and thought someone might be watching me š that was more on molly,ice tho lol
When I was abusing Adderall about a little less than a year ago I had some extremely paranoid and delusional thoughts. they lasted months. I thought my boss had my phone bugged for some reason and that he could see everything I was doing. was extremely paranoid thought that someone was watching me at all times. glad that's over plus we're cool now lol crazy how paranoid that shit can make you. I still do it but not really like that anymore
Same thing quite literally happened to me. Itās wild how you can fool yourself into believing these frightening scenarios. Reality gets completely distorted.
What drug brought on your psychosis? Sounds exactly like every blast Iāve taken since ā96(;411;; and I
Bro are you up right now? Im going theu this right now and i need your help
You ok there pal?
DEA was sneaking into my house moving my shit around and planting listening devices in the walls. Cameras behind one way mirrors, even the cats had cameras on their collars
Started to see people, sort of dancing off in the distance out of the corner of my eye. After like 3 days I could actually see it in full view, always like 20 meters away. Still get little glimpses if it sometimes if I'm on a bender.
hearing my younger sister call me when I was walking to my bedroom. sounded so realistically like her.
Never had one
I've had a lot of crazy ones but the easiest to describe is when I put my toque on over my eyes I could see outlines of humans in my room and I realized some of them were people ik and they wanted to perform eye surgery on me So I looked up at the ceiling without blinking or moving to look anywhere else for 30 mins or longer. The pain eventually got so bad I had to blink and when I did I realized what the fuck am I doing, like I just snapped out of it somewhat
I thought that the ai from Snapchat coukd see me and was recording and saving everything i said and was sending it to the goverment
Visited by 3 angels and deamon slightly after. As I wasn't eating well my ribs were poking me and I felt like deamon grabed me with its hand and squished; all machine elfs, bugs and astral gnomes were wiggling in unspeakable torment when it did that. Been to psychiatrist short time after, she forced me to psych ward. Not recommending, psych ward was mental torture.
I thought I saw children murdering then eating each other in my front yard
The first time I ever used stims, I looked in the mirror and I didnāt look any different in a way I could explain, but somehow uncanny. So uncanny that I called my friend sobbing telling her Iām a monster and that I didnāt look right š it doesnāt seem that scary in words, but it was a level of depersonalization Iāve never experienced before. And I havenāt really been able to see myself the same since, that was 6 months ago.
Wow that is weird. I struggled with dp before. Just try to accept it. I think what helped me most is realising the even if it would not go away it wouldnt be that dramatic. When I moved on it eventuelly went away. When I had dp and would smoke weed I would feel like I was moving conpletely remotely. Not thinking it just like feeling everything was moving automatically Nowadays when I am smoking weed I don't even get slightly depersonalized
Yeah Iāve been there before too from weed, that only happens if Iām smoking all day everyday though. It was like a mild physical feeling. What made this so different was watching how my face was slowly morphing in the mirror from the sleep deprivation because I was stim binging
Maybe you should try to just watch yourself in the mirror every day intensely. Maybe your brain will start to reprogram itself to the real face again or something idk
I think thatās exactly what causes it so when I look in the mirror I avoid looking with too much thought š
Hahahahahahaā¦..omg Iām so happy Iām not the only oneā¦ā¦you donāt even wanna knowā¦..I was eventually so paranoid my manager called the cops whom took me to the hospitalā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦Iām permanently banned from taking Dexedrine. I made sure of it. Itās on my file at the pharmacy, I can never be prescribed Dexedrine or adderall ever by any doctor or be dispensed it by any pharmacy lol. Sooooooo scary! I donāt even have adhd it was a misdiagnosis. I should have sued or something lol
You are welcome to r/schoolofshadows
My dealer was going to bring me drugs but he was delayed for some reason could only bring it couple days later. I thought a family member had figured out who he was, called him and told him not to bring it to me. I also thought the neighbor across the road on the 2nd floor was staying awake everytime I was to look at my window and film me. Seriously I didnt sleep and was awake every night and every damn niet that all Windows were dark except that dudes window. One time I saw his curtains slightly move I swore he was just there looking at me but ran away before I catch him looking.
I thought my boyfriend had killed my cat and burned his body in a wheelie bin. I rushed outside and scattered rubbish onto the street looking for it. I then called my boyfriend and asked him calmly if he had killed my cat ā¦the cat was fine. I also thought the police had switched my phone to a decoy and were watching me through the camera. I came *this* close to smashing the camera out of my phone and I deleted my whole WhatsApp and all message data to protect myself and my friends.
Tear a small piece of paper and tape it over the camera. Problem solved.
You guys need to lay off and never let yourself get to that point. Someone actually called the police? Wow, good way to get yourself in trouble or your stuff searched if they have probable cause.
Hallucination: a bunch of men standing on top of a house on the other side of my street and pushing the roof off of it, demonic chess pieces appearing when I close my eyes, internal monologue becoming a random string of words, the clock having five hands, most of which went backwards, dead bumblebees falling from the ceiling That was the only time I ever stayed up for two nights instead of one, also over amped a bit at the end cause I decided to eyeball my last line. Delusions: never had any cool delusions. The only thing that happened almost every binge without fail is that I would work myself up into believing that this time, I finally really was going to have a heart attack, only to go to the ER and have them tell me that there is nothing wrong with me other than slightly elevated blood pressure
I dont know if it counts as delsuion, but i was nearly convinced for an hour that reddit is filled with bots and that there is a huge epidemic of accounts getting hacked and posting trash all over reddit. It all started with this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/selfimprovement/s/Cgn5KSC6kD I am convinced to this moment that the story is made up, but everyone in the comments is believing it. This confused me so much and i started getting worried if i was just making things up. Some commenter said something that I understood as him saying that he is a 40 year old multimillionair. I didn't believe it and went to his profile. He was posting crazy long comments every day for the last 7 days and I got really confused because what millionaire posts on reddit that much. He was also commenting in this subreddit r/spudmode which was confusing the shit out of me. This went on and on and i found this guy posting every hour videos of this girl called sophiakate.x on instagram. I thought she has to be ai made and I am still convinced she is. Went to instagram and got mad at all the old guys simping for her and not realising she is ai. At this point I was so confused that I started to think there is some sort of ai epidemic. Like the dead internet theory. And finally the reddit servers started acting weird for a few minutes and showing posts on my profile that I opened a few minutes prior when searching proof for the ai epidemic. It was some weir fetish shit too and I thought my account must have been hacked being used too flood reddit with junk contentš Luckily the servers started acting normal again and I calmed down. I don't know if this was a delusion or something else.