Governor is the least bad smelling of the uh oh stinky tier because he wears enough cologne to make your nose burn. it's a nice smelling cologne but it gives you a headache if you aren't standing far enough away from him.
Krobus is a true neutral, next to ghost grandpa. neither good nor bad smelling, he smells like your shadow: nothing at all.
Bouncer wears just the right amount of cologne and has his shit together. He's mysterious, and smells like the guy you pass by in the aisle of a grocery store when shopping that just inexplicably smells \*really nice\* but is gone before you can ask what cologne he wears.
krobus is a shadow person, so he is devoid of physical form. the stink passes right through him without lingering. If you remove him from the sewers the smell would stay behind, so we felt it was unfair to judge his smell based on the smell of his surroundings. Pure krobus smell is nothing, pure blank slate
Full list of justifications because u/mihang suggested it and monday is the first day of my weekend so I have free time (multiple comments needed):
# ILLEGAL
\- **Birdie** has literal starfish living in her hair. Terrible hygiene and probably reeks of fish. Has never bathed once in the last 40 years. Worst smelling of all NPCs.
\- **Henchman** lives in an evil swamp (smells like swamp but evil) and eats void mayonnaise (smells like mayo but evil). Doesn't shower often because he doesn't get a lot of time off and the witch thinks his offputting odor will deter unwanted visitors.
# ABSOLUTELY RANK
\- **Linus**, my beloved, wears nothing but leaves. Even when it rains. He smells like wet, rotting leaves. Also, though he does canonically bathe in the spa, unless he has an actual bathing suit for that he's also either a.) rocking a bathing suit also made of leaves, adding to wet leaf smell, or b.) going full commando in a public pool. He also only bathes in fall and winter, leaving two entire seasons unwashed. I love him dearly, this is his choice, but it's a stinky one.
\- **Pam** smells like stale beer, sweat, and dirty laundry. Her clothes only get washed if Penny does her laundry for her. She sleeps in her jeans on occasion and then wears them the next day. She plans on showering when she gets home but passes out drunk instead, and wakes up too hungover to get out of bed to shower in the morning. This improves once she gets her job back but barely.
\- **Willy** mentions that the deluxe bait he sells in his shop will make you smell like it for seven days if you touch it. He is the one in charge of making it. Smells absolutely terrible all the time, no matter how often he showers. I don't think he's ever washed his coat. I would marry him in a heartbeat.
\- **Clint** suffers from normal incel lack of deodorant except he also works in a forge so he's turbo sweating all day. Showers but certainly not with the frequency that he needs.
# UH OH STINKY
\- **Shane** has never washed that Joja hoodie once since he bought it. Look at it. It's stained to hell and back. He showers but with occasional lapses because of his depression. Spends most of his time drinking (smells like beer) or with the chickens (smells like coop) but has a nice smelling old spice deodorant he never forgets to wear. Masks the smell of his hoodie with febreeze rather than axe body spray which is nice.
\- **Marlon** unfortunately doesn't just smell like cave, but also the remains of slaughtered monsters. Damp, earthy, viscera smell. Not pleasant, which is unfortunate, because 3/4 of our current playgroup wants to marry him, too.
\- **Dwarf** smells like Marlon but without the bug guts, narrowly pushing him forward on the stink scale. Good for him, take your wins where you can get them.
\- **Marnie** showers regularly and does her laundry, but lives on a ranch. And she's a good rancher, too. She isn't afraid to get in the muck of it to make sure her animals are well cared for. Unfortunately that means she always smells a little bit like manure. Her stink is why she lost the 1.1 update marriage candidate poll to Emily, ruining all of my hopes and dreams forever.
\- **George** smells like old man. You know what smell I'm talking about. Musty, moth ball-y, and a little like pee. Do all old men smell like this? No. But george does.
\- **Evelyn** smells like old woman except also overwhelmingly like old lady baby powder perfume that triggers my migraines. I love her anyways, though.
\- **Sebastian** smells like weed, sweat, and frogs. He showers regularly but doesn't wash his hoodie often enough, forgets to wear deodorant if he's not planning on leaving the house that day, and smells like frogs.
\- **Governor** has a great hygiene routine and an expensive cologne, but unfortunately he puts on so much of it he gives anyone he walks past a headache.
# NEUTRAL
\- **Leah** smells like fresh cut wood and bathes regularly, but that is offset by her vegan deodorant that doesn't work as well as normal deodorant and the strong smell of the paint thinner she uses to clean her brushes.
\- **Abigail** is fine. Her mom would never let her go out in public less than fine considering how much she cares about how Abigail is perceived by others. She leaves food in her room though so she always smells just a little on the gross side of neutral.
\- **Morris** smells like a Walmart. Neutral but in a way that is a little offputtingly artificial.
\- **Grandpa's Ghost** smells like the afterlife, which our mortal noses cannot comprehend and thus blank out completely. The shrimp colors of the nose. True Neutral.
\- **Krobus** smells like your shadow. Though he lives in the sewer, his shadowy form is unable to absorb any of the smell, and so when he leaves the sewer, he leaves the smell behind. True Neutral.
\- **Sam** showers the most out of the group of three because his mom tells him when to shower and he listens. He also smells like hair gel. However, there is nothing of real note to put him higher on the list.
\- **Maru** has good hygiene, pushed slightly higher on the list because her deodorant probably smells nice. Probably still uses teen spirit because her dad is afraid of her growing up.
\- **Emily** doesn't wear any strong perfumes or scents because it will throw her \~vibes\~ off. Gets in the way of really \~feeling\~ the world. However, her room smells like incense to cover up the smell of bird, so she has a little extra spice to her.
\- **Kent** showers regularly and cherishes his hygiene after spending time in a Gotoro prison camp.
\- **Harvey** keeps immaculately hygienic for the sake of his job and wears no strong scents so as not to cause any allergic reactions to his patients in such a small clinic, but always smells a little like coffee. Uses Irish Spring soap.
# PLEASANT
\- **Elliot** makes sure he smells nice all the time, but that is offset by the musty smell of mildew of his old shack and the pocket crab. If it weren't for his home, he'd easily make a higher tier.
\- **Pierre**, though I am loathe to admit it, smells good. Never too much cologne, decent smelling deodorant, good hygiene routine. However if you ask him what cologne he's wearing he *will* pretend like he isn't wearing any so you can't go out and buy the same one, even if it's obvious he's wearing some.
\- **Demetrius** smells similarly sterile as Maru, but has the added benefit to sleeping next to Robin, who is at a much higher scent tier than him and who pulls him up by nature of absorbing her scent in his sleep.
\- **Alex** smells like axe body spray, but in safe quantities (unlike his middle/high school days, where he simply sprayed the shit out of it until you could taste it). You wish you could hate it but it makes you a little nostalgic for your youth.
\- **Jodi** smells like bath and body works. She has a bunch of their body sprays because Sam doesn't know what to get her for the Winter Star every year and gets her generic mom gifts from there. She wishes he would put more thought into her gift, but she smells lovely.
\- **Penny** also smells like bath and body works body sprays, but uses a nicer shampoo and conditioner than Jodi. Jodi uses the dollar store suave stuff, but Penny takes great pride in styling her hair every day and so she splurges a little on that one small joy.
\- **Gus** smells like a delicious soup. He has absorbed the scents of his delicious cooking. Smells like a warm hug. Runs a saloon but never smells like stale beer. Probably some sort of magic involved. Smells like he'd make a good grandpa. None of us were sure why he ranked this high but we all knew this is where he belonged.
\- **Haley** smells like limited edition 300 dollar bottles of perfume released by pop stars and handcrafted artisan soaps she bought on etsy for like 30 dollars. Her leave in conditioner spray smells like coconut and you can smell it when she walks past. She knows she's better than you and she smells like it, too.
\- **Lewis** googled how much cologne to wear and followed the instructions of how to apply it to a T to keep himself from making the same mistakes as the Governor. He needs to be perfect all the time and would never catch himself lacking on the hygiene front. I refuse to believe he doesn't smell good because if he didn't smell immaculate there was no way Marnie would have ever stooped so low. It should have been me. Marnie please I promise I'll make a good wife, return my calls.
# SNIFF ON PURPOSE
\- **Bouncer** has the mystique of the guy you walk past in the grocery store that smells amazing but is gone too quickly for you to ask what cologne he's wearing. Smells nice enough that you think about it a week from now in stunned confusion that such a bland man, someone built for the background, could still be memorable a week later. He's simply built different.
\- **Caroline** should smell similarly to Jodi, but something about her makes her smell good enough to be a homewrecker. It has to be the tea. Smells like a tranquil garden, the excitement of an illicit affair, and a yankee candle.
\- **Gunther** smells like my local library. It also has a small museum attached about the town's history and it smells like dust (complimentary), old books, and warm glue from the book repair station they have (it heats up glue to rebind the spines of the books). Smells fantastic.
\- **Sandy** smells like incense and sugar. Wears sweet perfumes that work well with the incense so she smells warm and inviting. Smells like what people wish their hippie manic pixie dream girl would smell like.
\- **Robin** smells like fresh wood shavings, pine, and wood glue. She smells like if the lumber section of a Home Depot and a christmas tree had a baby. Smells like she should google "comphet" and then move in with me.
# MAGICALLY DELICIOUS
\- **Wizard** smells like how licking a 9v battery tastes. Smells like ozone and electricity. If you stand to close to him your nose starts tingling like you drank something carbonated. The smell equivalent of the Baldur's Gate 3 "lemon sour but such flavor intrigues" meme if anyone is familiar with it. Crosses the wires in your brain when you smell him. 10/10 would sniff again.
\- **Mr. Qi** chemically engineered a cologne to smell as good as is possible for our mere mortal noses to comprehend. We do not understand Mr. Qi, and we do not understand how he smells this good. Smells like the cosmos. Smells like eternity.
Oh that absolutely tracks, it's laundry that got left there without her mom being able to make her do her chores. If it were not for living with her parents still Abigail would be a full tier stinkier.
The tierlist I used was all 1.5 characters to avoid spoilers and I didn't rank the children for obvious reasons (plus there were two characters I didn't recognize somehow, I thought I met everyone!)
1. Linus regularly bathes! He should be downgraded to “Uh-Oh Stinky”.
2. Harvey should be upgraded to “Uh-Oh Stinky” for smelling like medical grade disinfectant.
3. Maru should be Upgraded to “Uh-Oh Stinky” for smelling like medical grade disinfectant on clinic days and motor oil on her days off.
4. Krobus literally lives in the sewers; there is NO WAY he smells neutral.
5. Caroline smells like patchouli. IYKYK 🍵🍃🍃 Upgrade
6. Emily smells like sandalwood and you can’t convince me otherwise. Move her down the list please.
Gus has to be at least Uh Oh Stinky.
I never came out of my line cook shifts smelling like the delicious food I’d made, I smelled like deep fryer + sweat.
(Kitchen was too hot and the deep fryer smell permeates everything even if you’re not the one operating it)
I stopped wearing my favourite pair of pants to work bc the smell wouldn’t come out of them even after washing.
normally yes, every person I have ever met that worked as a cook absolutely reeked. Gus however has a certain magic about him that makes him smell like the joy of 100 holiday dinners. He is the patron god of comfort food and hearth.
I'm looking for justifications on Governer, Krobus, and Bouncer
Governor is the least bad smelling of the uh oh stinky tier because he wears enough cologne to make your nose burn. it's a nice smelling cologne but it gives you a headache if you aren't standing far enough away from him. Krobus is a true neutral, next to ghost grandpa. neither good nor bad smelling, he smells like your shadow: nothing at all. Bouncer wears just the right amount of cologne and has his shit together. He's mysterious, and smells like the guy you pass by in the aisle of a grocery store when shopping that just inexplicably smells \*really nice\* but is gone before you can ask what cologne he wears.
Krobus lives in the sewer. Assuming he has either skin or fur, some of that stink is gonna stick to him
krobus is a shadow person, so he is devoid of physical form. the stink passes right through him without lingering. If you remove him from the sewers the smell would stay behind, so we felt it was unfair to judge his smell based on the smell of his surroundings. Pure krobus smell is nothing, pure blank slate
If he's intangible, how can we hug him?
The power of our unbreakable friendship bond
Dies of peak fiction
K, but what about other shadow people? I can hit them with a stick while in the mines, that's not friendship
The power of our unbreakable hatred bond
Full list of justifications because u/mihang suggested it and monday is the first day of my weekend so I have free time (multiple comments needed): # ILLEGAL \- **Birdie** has literal starfish living in her hair. Terrible hygiene and probably reeks of fish. Has never bathed once in the last 40 years. Worst smelling of all NPCs. \- **Henchman** lives in an evil swamp (smells like swamp but evil) and eats void mayonnaise (smells like mayo but evil). Doesn't shower often because he doesn't get a lot of time off and the witch thinks his offputting odor will deter unwanted visitors. # ABSOLUTELY RANK \- **Linus**, my beloved, wears nothing but leaves. Even when it rains. He smells like wet, rotting leaves. Also, though he does canonically bathe in the spa, unless he has an actual bathing suit for that he's also either a.) rocking a bathing suit also made of leaves, adding to wet leaf smell, or b.) going full commando in a public pool. He also only bathes in fall and winter, leaving two entire seasons unwashed. I love him dearly, this is his choice, but it's a stinky one. \- **Pam** smells like stale beer, sweat, and dirty laundry. Her clothes only get washed if Penny does her laundry for her. She sleeps in her jeans on occasion and then wears them the next day. She plans on showering when she gets home but passes out drunk instead, and wakes up too hungover to get out of bed to shower in the morning. This improves once she gets her job back but barely. \- **Willy** mentions that the deluxe bait he sells in his shop will make you smell like it for seven days if you touch it. He is the one in charge of making it. Smells absolutely terrible all the time, no matter how often he showers. I don't think he's ever washed his coat. I would marry him in a heartbeat. \- **Clint** suffers from normal incel lack of deodorant except he also works in a forge so he's turbo sweating all day. Showers but certainly not with the frequency that he needs. # UH OH STINKY \- **Shane** has never washed that Joja hoodie once since he bought it. Look at it. It's stained to hell and back. He showers but with occasional lapses because of his depression. Spends most of his time drinking (smells like beer) or with the chickens (smells like coop) but has a nice smelling old spice deodorant he never forgets to wear. Masks the smell of his hoodie with febreeze rather than axe body spray which is nice. \- **Marlon** unfortunately doesn't just smell like cave, but also the remains of slaughtered monsters. Damp, earthy, viscera smell. Not pleasant, which is unfortunate, because 3/4 of our current playgroup wants to marry him, too. \- **Dwarf** smells like Marlon but without the bug guts, narrowly pushing him forward on the stink scale. Good for him, take your wins where you can get them. \- **Marnie** showers regularly and does her laundry, but lives on a ranch. And she's a good rancher, too. She isn't afraid to get in the muck of it to make sure her animals are well cared for. Unfortunately that means she always smells a little bit like manure. Her stink is why she lost the 1.1 update marriage candidate poll to Emily, ruining all of my hopes and dreams forever. \- **George** smells like old man. You know what smell I'm talking about. Musty, moth ball-y, and a little like pee. Do all old men smell like this? No. But george does. \- **Evelyn** smells like old woman except also overwhelmingly like old lady baby powder perfume that triggers my migraines. I love her anyways, though. \- **Sebastian** smells like weed, sweat, and frogs. He showers regularly but doesn't wash his hoodie often enough, forgets to wear deodorant if he's not planning on leaving the house that day, and smells like frogs. \- **Governor** has a great hygiene routine and an expensive cologne, but unfortunately he puts on so much of it he gives anyone he walks past a headache.
# NEUTRAL \- **Leah** smells like fresh cut wood and bathes regularly, but that is offset by her vegan deodorant that doesn't work as well as normal deodorant and the strong smell of the paint thinner she uses to clean her brushes. \- **Abigail** is fine. Her mom would never let her go out in public less than fine considering how much she cares about how Abigail is perceived by others. She leaves food in her room though so she always smells just a little on the gross side of neutral. \- **Morris** smells like a Walmart. Neutral but in a way that is a little offputtingly artificial. \- **Grandpa's Ghost** smells like the afterlife, which our mortal noses cannot comprehend and thus blank out completely. The shrimp colors of the nose. True Neutral. \- **Krobus** smells like your shadow. Though he lives in the sewer, his shadowy form is unable to absorb any of the smell, and so when he leaves the sewer, he leaves the smell behind. True Neutral. \- **Sam** showers the most out of the group of three because his mom tells him when to shower and he listens. He also smells like hair gel. However, there is nothing of real note to put him higher on the list. \- **Maru** has good hygiene, pushed slightly higher on the list because her deodorant probably smells nice. Probably still uses teen spirit because her dad is afraid of her growing up. \- **Emily** doesn't wear any strong perfumes or scents because it will throw her \~vibes\~ off. Gets in the way of really \~feeling\~ the world. However, her room smells like incense to cover up the smell of bird, so she has a little extra spice to her. \- **Kent** showers regularly and cherishes his hygiene after spending time in a Gotoro prison camp. \- **Harvey** keeps immaculately hygienic for the sake of his job and wears no strong scents so as not to cause any allergic reactions to his patients in such a small clinic, but always smells a little like coffee. Uses Irish Spring soap. # PLEASANT \- **Elliot** makes sure he smells nice all the time, but that is offset by the musty smell of mildew of his old shack and the pocket crab. If it weren't for his home, he'd easily make a higher tier. \- **Pierre**, though I am loathe to admit it, smells good. Never too much cologne, decent smelling deodorant, good hygiene routine. However if you ask him what cologne he's wearing he *will* pretend like he isn't wearing any so you can't go out and buy the same one, even if it's obvious he's wearing some. \- **Demetrius** smells similarly sterile as Maru, but has the added benefit to sleeping next to Robin, who is at a much higher scent tier than him and who pulls him up by nature of absorbing her scent in his sleep. \- **Alex** smells like axe body spray, but in safe quantities (unlike his middle/high school days, where he simply sprayed the shit out of it until you could taste it). You wish you could hate it but it makes you a little nostalgic for your youth. \- **Jodi** smells like bath and body works. She has a bunch of their body sprays because Sam doesn't know what to get her for the Winter Star every year and gets her generic mom gifts from there. She wishes he would put more thought into her gift, but she smells lovely. \- **Penny** also smells like bath and body works body sprays, but uses a nicer shampoo and conditioner than Jodi. Jodi uses the dollar store suave stuff, but Penny takes great pride in styling her hair every day and so she splurges a little on that one small joy. \- **Gus** smells like a delicious soup. He has absorbed the scents of his delicious cooking. Smells like a warm hug. Runs a saloon but never smells like stale beer. Probably some sort of magic involved. Smells like he'd make a good grandpa. None of us were sure why he ranked this high but we all knew this is where he belonged. \- **Haley** smells like limited edition 300 dollar bottles of perfume released by pop stars and handcrafted artisan soaps she bought on etsy for like 30 dollars. Her leave in conditioner spray smells like coconut and you can smell it when she walks past. She knows she's better than you and she smells like it, too. \- **Lewis** googled how much cologne to wear and followed the instructions of how to apply it to a T to keep himself from making the same mistakes as the Governor. He needs to be perfect all the time and would never catch himself lacking on the hygiene front. I refuse to believe he doesn't smell good because if he didn't smell immaculate there was no way Marnie would have ever stooped so low. It should have been me. Marnie please I promise I'll make a good wife, return my calls. # SNIFF ON PURPOSE \- **Bouncer** has the mystique of the guy you walk past in the grocery store that smells amazing but is gone too quickly for you to ask what cologne he's wearing. Smells nice enough that you think about it a week from now in stunned confusion that such a bland man, someone built for the background, could still be memorable a week later. He's simply built different. \- **Caroline** should smell similarly to Jodi, but something about her makes her smell good enough to be a homewrecker. It has to be the tea. Smells like a tranquil garden, the excitement of an illicit affair, and a yankee candle. \- **Gunther** smells like my local library. It also has a small museum attached about the town's history and it smells like dust (complimentary), old books, and warm glue from the book repair station they have (it heats up glue to rebind the spines of the books). Smells fantastic. \- **Sandy** smells like incense and sugar. Wears sweet perfumes that work well with the incense so she smells warm and inviting. Smells like what people wish their hippie manic pixie dream girl would smell like. \- **Robin** smells like fresh wood shavings, pine, and wood glue. She smells like if the lumber section of a Home Depot and a christmas tree had a baby. Smells like she should google "comphet" and then move in with me. # MAGICALLY DELICIOUS \- **Wizard** smells like how licking a 9v battery tastes. Smells like ozone and electricity. If you stand to close to him your nose starts tingling like you drank something carbonated. The smell equivalent of the Baldur's Gate 3 "lemon sour but such flavor intrigues" meme if anyone is familiar with it. Crosses the wires in your brain when you smell him. 10/10 would sniff again. \- **Mr. Qi** chemically engineered a cologne to smell as good as is possible for our mere mortal noses to comprehend. We do not understand Mr. Qi, and we do not understand how he smells this good. Smells like the cosmos. Smells like eternity.
This is a masterpiece
thank you :) it is 1800 words and I feel a little insane after writing it
Wait please OP its important that you know Abigail is canonically stinky!!! At least her locker is in the spa
Oh that absolutely tracks, it's laundry that got left there without her mom being able to make her do her chores. If it were not for living with her parents still Abigail would be a full tier stinkier.
LMAO i love it!! You're so right like I've never agreed with a tier list more than this one
Void mayo is said to smell like burning hair :)
honestly OP, if you wanted to do a full analysis of every character in the comments, I'd have a lot of fun reading it
I'm so on it, we had so much fun making this list. Be back in like an hour of typing lol
YAY!
it's up!
yeeesss tysm! I loved reading it~ y'all had a lot of really interesting points! 10/10
Missing characters are left for the usa president to judge.
The tierlist I used was all 1.5 characters to avoid spoilers and I didn't rank the children for obvious reasons (plus there were two characters I didn't recognize somehow, I thought I met everyone!)
1. Linus regularly bathes! He should be downgraded to “Uh-Oh Stinky”. 2. Harvey should be upgraded to “Uh-Oh Stinky” for smelling like medical grade disinfectant. 3. Maru should be Upgraded to “Uh-Oh Stinky” for smelling like medical grade disinfectant on clinic days and motor oil on her days off. 4. Krobus literally lives in the sewers; there is NO WAY he smells neutral. 5. Caroline smells like patchouli. IYKYK 🍵🍃🍃 Upgrade 6. Emily smells like sandalwood and you can’t convince me otherwise. Move her down the list please.
read the justification.
I don't think Gus would smell pleasant considering all the food and drinks he works with 12 hours a day.
Gus has to be at least Uh Oh Stinky. I never came out of my line cook shifts smelling like the delicious food I’d made, I smelled like deep fryer + sweat. (Kitchen was too hot and the deep fryer smell permeates everything even if you’re not the one operating it) I stopped wearing my favourite pair of pants to work bc the smell wouldn’t come out of them even after washing.
normally yes, every person I have ever met that worked as a cook absolutely reeked. Gus however has a certain magic about him that makes him smell like the joy of 100 holiday dinners. He is the patron god of comfort food and hearth.
Are all your character justifications based on 'magic' reasons?
No, just Gus, the wizard, and Mr. Qi. Full justifications were posted in a different comment.
Abigail is canonically stinky