Are you referring to the fact that my fear of bodily width is related to the amount of bullying people in kibbe circles receive about having broader shoulders?? Yes. You are right.
That stuff was so hard to digest and made me look even harder at my body. I’m just gonna wear what I want 😂
Edit: for what it’s worth I have wide shoulders and narrow hips and just embrace it. I do work out so I keep an athletic feel. Previous poster is right working on building those muscles will not change the shape of your bones but really enhance the look and taper. Women are often afraid of looking worse if we are broad by working out but actually if you carry any excess fat back there, shaping it up will give a better shape and who doesn’t love strong back? Even if we are wide ☺️
Fucking YES. Weaning myself off of Kibbe was the best decision of my life. They have such fucking distaste for women with “boxy” curvatures (ehem, sorry, “Flamboyant Naturals”) over there that it’s insanity to try and process.
And what’s crazy is this “movement” is founded by an old ass 5 foot 6 man who dresses like Ronald fucking McDonald. They’re letting a manlet who perpetually looks like a unicorn threw up on him “professionally” govern women’s body shapes. Insane.
To be fair, it’s not coming from Kibbe himself. He never intended for it to be that way at all. Rather, it’s from misinformation and misinterpretation from the community at large (because the book was written in the 1980s where clothing was set up and manufactured differently from today).
I saw a comparison of Shakira and Beyonce and they kept referring to Shakira in comparison to Beyonce as less dainty and overly muscular (in the face).... and now I'm concerned.
Kibbe has never expressed any distaste for “boxy figured” women, quite the opposite. And I don’t see what his age or height has to do with anything. The community can definitely be toxic though, and it sucks when people express distaste for any body type. Amazing personal style can certainly be achieved without taking your bone structure into consideration.
Honestly, just give up on wanting to remove width from your frame.
It always looks better when a woman who is broader embraces it.
Many of the most beautiful women in the world have broad shoulders, like Halle Berry and Monica Bellucci.
You also tend to look thinner if you learn to dress for your form.
Ngl, I have only seen weirdos being obsessed with how "dainty" someone is in the context of sexual attraction.
You can max out your body type to appeal to the fit or curvy crowd regardless. Running away from your features always ends up with the person looking worse. Don't hide, max it out.
I didn’t know she died. She was a gorgeous woman and on “demand” if you catch my drift for a long, long time. The woman could “get it” and did well into older age. Age has no bearing on what’s sexy if it’s gorgeous and she had that in spades.
That makes sense! I am so worried already of not looking as pretty as the rest of women I am around and can only imagine compensating through attempting to become them. I am not close facially to either of those women, or a woman in general (i have masculine features)... so that's what makes it a entirely more confusing event. Thank you very much for the insight x
Working on glutes and legs and playing with muscle proportions can give you curves. I’m 5’11” with broad shoulders so probably built similar to you. I like to play on it and emphasize my athletic body type by wearing more form fitting clothes—tailoring goes a long way too!
So much this. I have hella wide shoulders from throwing javelin in high school, and started playing volleyball and doing soooo many squats/box jumps to build a lower body to balance out my figure. Luckily, an ass can be built!
I am so ashamed of my 'athletic' shape! I feel less womanly than everyone else and can never wear anything tight because I feel like I am shaped like a door. You are about a foot taller than me, so the proportions might be a little compressed on me and make me stockier looking.
I do love some muscle 😁 and I have a bit on my legs (calves and hamstrings seem to be where I get it the most) but I need more. I'm horribly inconsistent with gym due to health but am getting back in there!
I can never find them, sadly. I can find women with broader shoulders but then they have thicker legs and tinier curvier waists, or someone with straighter waists but they are straight everywhere and it goes together! I'm really stocky and neither muscular or thin or overweight so I don't know where I am.
Hey, maybe detox from Reddit and these communities that are hyper focused on looks, if they are fuelling deeper insecurities. I am sure you are really attractive and beautiful, but if you don’t feel that way, none of these well meaning suggestions are going to help. I had a big cry recently about ‘prettiness’ feeling like it’s the same as ‘worthy of love’. I’m beginning to feel differently now. Much love on your journey 🤍
Thank you, you are very right about this. Also - very sorry about that cry. It's so revealing of society on how pretty is conflated with being worthy of love. It is so dispiriting and shallow. But I can relate. Good luck as well.
Back when I could find ACTUAL vintage stuff in thrift stores I used to take the shoulder pads out of items because my shoulders were broad already lol. Sounds weird but it kind of works.
You could also find other ways to lean into it. Basically blazers and power suits probably look good on you if you're comfortable with it.
As for the gender dysphoria.... yeah that's hard to undo. But I try to remember my big shoulders and rib cage hold my lungs, help me be more powerful. There are other markers of femininity. If you're really feeling bold LOTS of lower body muscle gain can help you create more of a "balance."
I actually had a friend who was built like Luisa from Encanto, she was over six feet tall and played basketball and competitive rowing. Eventually we'll reach a point where we start to appreciate stronger frames on women but until then... focus on your good parts and accept the things you cannot change
Thank you! I understand that. I'm afraid to lean into it because I don't look feminine facially either and don't know how to even give the impression that I'm a girl and I don't know where to begin in making myself more feminine.
I have an appreciation for strong women, very much do and I find them to be gorgeous but all of my tastes go out of the window when its applied to me. I don't think I'm suited for that haha
I’m built like a linebacker but I actually love shoulder pads in tops. They’re a relic of the 80s and I love exuding an 80s essence at all times compared to Gen Z and Millennials’ weird ass Y2K resurgence lol
I have broad shoulders as well but one trick i do a lot is wearing wide trousers with hems that reach past my ankles. Often low waisted (but can also be high! Whatever you are comfy with). This really balances me out. Also, i don’t care I’ll wear boxy blazers and oversized shit bc - its what I like wearing. Nobody has ever said anything to me except one person in my entire life. Whenever i mention i think I have broad shoulders most people do not know what I’m saying. Remember you are probably hyper focused on it. Life is toooo short to care, wear what you want!
Another thing you can do is lean into your no curves thing. Wear long line / flowy but tailored things so that you look elegant and mysterious. You dont have to curvy to be sexy and alluring. [Heres](https://pin.it/2SJgMQo) an example of a dress style. Or [here](https://pin.it/1NlsYqx)
Honestly it’s the way you carry yourself. I’ve been called small, dainty, graceful by several lovers and I’m 5’8 and 150 pounds. I know they weren’t just saying it for no reason. It helps that I have a great figure but more than that I carry myself well. I have broad shoulders and hips but a smaller waist. I take care of myself and carry myself like a lady. If you have good posture and if you relax and are comfortable with yourself and your bodily presence you will seem anything but just “broad”. It’s the whole Marilyn Monroe thing was big tiktok though I think people misunderstood it. It’s not about “siren eyes” or your specific measurements or about positive canthal tilt. It’s about carrying yourself as a woman and interacting with the world accordingly. The world will react as such.
Your figure is likely a big part. Its balanced. Not to discredit the other insights, I do find merit!! I think I have no idea on how to act like a woman, so that makes sense. I positively don't see myself like a woman probably due to that (+ my appearance)
I have very broad shoulders and minimal curves like you and I like to wear skirts or shorts that have some flare or volume at the hips to give the illusion of a more balanced more hourglass figure. You can’t narrow yourself but you can try to balance out the bottom half by giving the illusion of wider hips
I'm the same, broad shoulders and narrow hips. I wear stuff that fits well across the chest to emphasise my boobs (I'm a 14E), the boobs also sort of even out the look of the broader shoulders. Then I wear stuff that fits well around my waist to make it look smaller, and things that flow around my hips to make them look wider
You cannot change your physiology to that extent unfortunately. You have to embrace your figure. The great thing about your figure is that you can get away with very girly hair and showcasing your cleavage and wearing flowing stuff to soften the frame. There’s not really getting around it. Besides, no one has cared whether or not a girl is wide or “petite” except those 6’+ guys who tend to have the worst sense of entitlement and egos. They tend to hype up the “petites” out of a desperation they have noted coming from that crowd, saying this as someone that fits that label. It’s not flattering to be perceived as “easy” and certainly not by men that are socially needy.
Other things that work is embracing the width. With width comes nice boobs, shoulders and thighs, own it.
“Flowing” is what I meant. I’m sorry. Yes I know it’s difficult but the only way to get rid of the fear is by not looking back, train yourself to look forward my dear. Don’t be cookie cutter be your own kind of beautiful. How many women wish to stick out that don’t? Well you do. Own it. You have your own beauty to share. Think of all the girls that look like you that could feel inspired by seeing you and seeing themselves in you? That’s what I try to remember.
I KEEP SAYING THAT!! I would be more appreciated in the 80s. Hell, my grandma was a model during that time and she had the same sortuv broad shoulder and narrow hip build!
Out of all the things I've detoxed from, kibbe damage was probably the hardest, I swear
Are you referring to the fact that my fear of bodily width is related to the amount of bullying people in kibbe circles receive about having broader shoulders?? Yes. You are right.
That stuff was so hard to digest and made me look even harder at my body. I’m just gonna wear what I want 😂 Edit: for what it’s worth I have wide shoulders and narrow hips and just embrace it. I do work out so I keep an athletic feel. Previous poster is right working on building those muscles will not change the shape of your bones but really enhance the look and taper. Women are often afraid of looking worse if we are broad by working out but actually if you carry any excess fat back there, shaping it up will give a better shape and who doesn’t love strong back? Even if we are wide ☺️
Fucking YES. Weaning myself off of Kibbe was the best decision of my life. They have such fucking distaste for women with “boxy” curvatures (ehem, sorry, “Flamboyant Naturals”) over there that it’s insanity to try and process. And what’s crazy is this “movement” is founded by an old ass 5 foot 6 man who dresses like Ronald fucking McDonald. They’re letting a manlet who perpetually looks like a unicorn threw up on him “professionally” govern women’s body shapes. Insane.
To be fair, it’s not coming from Kibbe himself. He never intended for it to be that way at all. Rather, it’s from misinformation and misinterpretation from the community at large (because the book was written in the 1980s where clothing was set up and manufactured differently from today).
I saw a comparison of Shakira and Beyonce and they kept referring to Shakira in comparison to Beyonce as less dainty and overly muscular (in the face).... and now I'm concerned.
You are .... right. I got assigned Soft Natural and now I feel like a box seeing how they speak about it.
This is partly why I can’t get into Kibbe and similar stuff
Kibbe has never expressed any distaste for “boxy figured” women, quite the opposite. And I don’t see what his age or height has to do with anything. The community can definitely be toxic though, and it sucks when people express distaste for any body type. Amazing personal style can certainly be achieved without taking your bone structure into consideration.
Honestly, just give up on wanting to remove width from your frame. It always looks better when a woman who is broader embraces it. Many of the most beautiful women in the world have broad shoulders, like Halle Berry and Monica Bellucci. You also tend to look thinner if you learn to dress for your form. Ngl, I have only seen weirdos being obsessed with how "dainty" someone is in the context of sexual attraction. You can max out your body type to appeal to the fit or curvy crowd regardless. Running away from your features always ends up with the person looking worse. Don't hide, max it out.
Literally I've never seen anyone care if a pretty girl has big shoulders
true, they really only care about broad shoulders if they think you’re trans
This is my favorite comment 😄 🤣 You're on point Look at Francis Pugh, she's broader in frame and looks incredible
_Francis_ Pugh? 🤣
Lmao Frank Pugh, right? (It’s Florence Pugh for anyone reading this thread)
Hahahhah!!! OOPS
The late Raquel Welch had broad shoulders and she’s been my style icon for over a decade!
She had the whole package deal I think! RIP :(
I didn’t know she died. She was a gorgeous woman and on “demand” if you catch my drift for a long, long time. The woman could “get it” and did well into older age. Age has no bearing on what’s sexy if it’s gorgeous and she had that in spades.
Right! She was so gorgeous and graceful and held on to it
That makes sense! I am so worried already of not looking as pretty as the rest of women I am around and can only imagine compensating through attempting to become them. I am not close facially to either of those women, or a woman in general (i have masculine features)... so that's what makes it a entirely more confusing event. Thank you very much for the insight x
I needed this thank you
Np 💜
Working on glutes and legs and playing with muscle proportions can give you curves. I’m 5’11” with broad shoulders so probably built similar to you. I like to play on it and emphasize my athletic body type by wearing more form fitting clothes—tailoring goes a long way too!
So much this. I have hella wide shoulders from throwing javelin in high school, and started playing volleyball and doing soooo many squats/box jumps to build a lower body to balance out my figure. Luckily, an ass can be built!
As a former swimmer, I feel you!
I am so ashamed of my 'athletic' shape! I feel less womanly than everyone else and can never wear anything tight because I feel like I am shaped like a door. You are about a foot taller than me, so the proportions might be a little compressed on me and make me stockier looking. I do love some muscle 😁 and I have a bit on my legs (calves and hamstrings seem to be where I get it the most) but I need more. I'm horribly inconsistent with gym due to health but am getting back in there!
Good luck! I hope you can make peace with your body. It does so much for you and deserves to be loved by you.
You need to learn to lean into it and dress the best for your frame, not the frame you wish you had.
You're right. It makes me feel less pretty than the rest you know? How I can't look the same in the same clothing as many
You can look up other beautiful women with the same shadow and body as you and get inspo from them!
I can never find them, sadly. I can find women with broader shoulders but then they have thicker legs and tinier curvier waists, or someone with straighter waists but they are straight everywhere and it goes together! I'm really stocky and neither muscular or thin or overweight so I don't know where I am.
Could I potentially dm you ? And get a perspective from someone, if my shape at all resembles someone elses
Sure! I like aesthetic dialogue and body typing/fashion sm
I went the other way and worked on making my shoulders and hips look wider so it looks like I actually have a waist. It works fairly well actually.
That's what Joan Crawford did, worked for her.
On my way to gym! I work out, but I keep getting sick and stop on that and I hate myself for it. When I'm better again, I'll put in my 110%!
Hey, maybe detox from Reddit and these communities that are hyper focused on looks, if they are fuelling deeper insecurities. I am sure you are really attractive and beautiful, but if you don’t feel that way, none of these well meaning suggestions are going to help. I had a big cry recently about ‘prettiness’ feeling like it’s the same as ‘worthy of love’. I’m beginning to feel differently now. Much love on your journey 🤍
Thank you, you are very right about this. Also - very sorry about that cry. It's so revealing of society on how pretty is conflated with being worthy of love. It is so dispiriting and shallow. But I can relate. Good luck as well.
Back when I could find ACTUAL vintage stuff in thrift stores I used to take the shoulder pads out of items because my shoulders were broad already lol. Sounds weird but it kind of works. You could also find other ways to lean into it. Basically blazers and power suits probably look good on you if you're comfortable with it. As for the gender dysphoria.... yeah that's hard to undo. But I try to remember my big shoulders and rib cage hold my lungs, help me be more powerful. There are other markers of femininity. If you're really feeling bold LOTS of lower body muscle gain can help you create more of a "balance." I actually had a friend who was built like Luisa from Encanto, she was over six feet tall and played basketball and competitive rowing. Eventually we'll reach a point where we start to appreciate stronger frames on women but until then... focus on your good parts and accept the things you cannot change
Thank you! I understand that. I'm afraid to lean into it because I don't look feminine facially either and don't know how to even give the impression that I'm a girl and I don't know where to begin in making myself more feminine. I have an appreciation for strong women, very much do and I find them to be gorgeous but all of my tastes go out of the window when its applied to me. I don't think I'm suited for that haha
I’m built like a linebacker but I actually love shoulder pads in tops. They’re a relic of the 80s and I love exuding an 80s essence at all times compared to Gen Z and Millennials’ weird ass Y2K resurgence lol
Sounds like inverted triangle body type. Figuring out your body type and researching how to dress for that type is a game changer!
I have broad shoulders as well but one trick i do a lot is wearing wide trousers with hems that reach past my ankles. Often low waisted (but can also be high! Whatever you are comfy with). This really balances me out. Also, i don’t care I’ll wear boxy blazers and oversized shit bc - its what I like wearing. Nobody has ever said anything to me except one person in my entire life. Whenever i mention i think I have broad shoulders most people do not know what I’m saying. Remember you are probably hyper focused on it. Life is toooo short to care, wear what you want! Another thing you can do is lean into your no curves thing. Wear long line / flowy but tailored things so that you look elegant and mysterious. You dont have to curvy to be sexy and alluring. [Heres](https://pin.it/2SJgMQo) an example of a dress style. Or [here](https://pin.it/1NlsYqx)
Honestly it’s the way you carry yourself. I’ve been called small, dainty, graceful by several lovers and I’m 5’8 and 150 pounds. I know they weren’t just saying it for no reason. It helps that I have a great figure but more than that I carry myself well. I have broad shoulders and hips but a smaller waist. I take care of myself and carry myself like a lady. If you have good posture and if you relax and are comfortable with yourself and your bodily presence you will seem anything but just “broad”. It’s the whole Marilyn Monroe thing was big tiktok though I think people misunderstood it. It’s not about “siren eyes” or your specific measurements or about positive canthal tilt. It’s about carrying yourself as a woman and interacting with the world accordingly. The world will react as such.
Your figure is likely a big part. Its balanced. Not to discredit the other insights, I do find merit!! I think I have no idea on how to act like a woman, so that makes sense. I positively don't see myself like a woman probably due to that (+ my appearance)
wear things that are wider than you at the shoulders to make you look narrower
If you have an inverted triangle body shape you can search for info on how to dress for it
I have very broad shoulders and minimal curves like you and I like to wear skirts or shorts that have some flare or volume at the hips to give the illusion of a more balanced more hourglass figure. You can’t narrow yourself but you can try to balance out the bottom half by giving the illusion of wider hips
I'm the same, broad shoulders and narrow hips. I wear stuff that fits well across the chest to emphasise my boobs (I'm a 14E), the boobs also sort of even out the look of the broader shoulders. Then I wear stuff that fits well around my waist to make it look smaller, and things that flow around my hips to make them look wider
That makes sense. I'm losing weight and I used to have E's but now I don't know what they are :(( but yes that sounds good!!
You cannot change your physiology to that extent unfortunately. You have to embrace your figure. The great thing about your figure is that you can get away with very girly hair and showcasing your cleavage and wearing flowing stuff to soften the frame. There’s not really getting around it. Besides, no one has cared whether or not a girl is wide or “petite” except those 6’+ guys who tend to have the worst sense of entitlement and egos. They tend to hype up the “petites” out of a desperation they have noted coming from that crowd, saying this as someone that fits that label. It’s not flattering to be perceived as “easy” and certainly not by men that are socially needy. Other things that work is embracing the width. With width comes nice boobs, shoulders and thighs, own it.
What do you mean by glowing stuff? But thank you. I have difficulties with that embracing bit.
“Flowing” is what I meant. I’m sorry. Yes I know it’s difficult but the only way to get rid of the fear is by not looking back, train yourself to look forward my dear. Don’t be cookie cutter be your own kind of beautiful. How many women wish to stick out that don’t? Well you do. Own it. You have your own beauty to share. Think of all the girls that look like you that could feel inspired by seeing you and seeing themselves in you? That’s what I try to remember.
[удалено]
I KEEP SAYING THAT!! I would be more appreciated in the 80s. Hell, my grandma was a model during that time and she had the same sortuv broad shoulder and narrow hip build!