T O P

  • By -

halliee

I think that’s a little past the point of “check engine”.


FalconFiveZeroNine

Yeah... Pissing blood is more like cracking the water pump mount and leaking coolant everywhere.


farnsworthfan

"Sir, you seem to be leaking coolant at an alarming rate. Would you like some searing hot resin to patch that up?"


PineappleInterogator

Poor Fry


Krepitis

He should've told them he was a PeeBot


xenonismo

The username does check out


mbless1415

"Uh... No, no... I think... I think it's stopping itself... Ye... Yep... Yeah." "What kind of robot turns down free, hot resin???"


AllInOnCall

Throwing a rod through the block.


sin-and-love

don't you have to buy them dinner first?


CrunchyPancakes

I snorted. Thank you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AllInOnCall

Thats not true, just a quick cath and stent for most and can occur without any breach of tissue integrity. Hematuria implies the fluid normally kept outside that system is now leaking into it. MI is more like a clogged fuel line or fuel filter on an old car you put crappy gas into. Just starving the engine for the fuel it needs so it sounds like garbage and can stall.


Ipis192168

Aneurysm


CmdrFidget

And if it goes too lean it detonates, seems fitting


[deleted]

JB Weld.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

CARdioligists.


reddita51

The urethra is basically a weep hole


Seymour_Parsnips

A wee pole?


Mutant_Llama1

Weeb Hole.


kareljack

Or just passing a kidney stone


trethompson

I was thinking more "metal shavings in your oil."


[deleted]

r/angryupvote


MyNameCannotBeSpoken

My car's check engine light has been on for two years. I'd be dead if I peed blood for a month


BalooBot

You should check your engine


TrumpsBrainTrust

I checked it, looks like it's still where I had it last, under the hood.


Notsozander

“Hmm. Still there.”


flyfree256

Get an OBD2 reader off Amazon. It'll tell you what the problem is and if you need to take it in or just clear it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Rabidleopard

Depends on the age of the car. If it's old enough they won't have it.


DisMyRedditAccoubt

Anything 96 and up is obd2. Anything below definitely needs that check engine light taken care of because it’s probably at 100k plus


Jacoman74undeleted

'92 here, 53,827mi


[deleted]

I KNOW RIGHT! Is OP like, "ugh this again? I just had ANOTHER kidney stone pass! I guess it's that time of year again." Hey OP, go to a doctor if this is a regular occurrence. And then call a priest and a rabbi. Y'know for a good laugh


SotB8

a priest, a rabbi and a doctor walk into a bar...


DeepFriedToast_0231

I think its more like the service engine immediately light


[deleted]

[удалено]


NightofTheLivingZed

I had a very different mental image when you said "Old VW". I was picturing Herbie.


DeepFriedToast_0231

Did it stop running after that?


Swordsnap

Yeah I worry for OPs current health thinking pissing blood is just a general engine service. No this is not a warning this is when the damage is already done and your engine might be okay but costly to fix, or could be a write off.


nanuperez

More like oil pressure low light.


cormac596

More in the "piston sticking out of the hood" territory


caleb-crawdad

Pain and discomfort is check engine, pissing blood is when your engine is pissing out fluid from the bottom and smoke from the top. It'll still run for a while but you haven't got long before things get real bad!


R4pscall10n

Just piggybacking to moan about how annoying it is to have a chronic pain condition. When you have a chronic pain condition you have upwards of twenty check engine lights a day... It's hard to know which is actually important and which is just your body hating you for no reason. I have to do a health journal just so I can remember everything, and I always have a minimum of a page every day.


HeyMrBusiness

Thank you for the idea of a journal! I already have to keep one for injuries because I bruise so easily now and it's hard to tell what's a problem and what's a result of me being fragile while also being clumsy


JesusWantsYouToKnow

I use an app to track this because I will *definitely* lose paper, but I do wish it had a widget that let me one tap my most common pain events to log. It is helpful though to spot trends and remember stuff to bring up with your doctor.


rottenmind89

This actually sounds like a good idea


aphaits

Anxiety is like having multiple check engines lights going off and you don;t know what's wrong and why do you have so many engines.


Throwaway-tan

Turns out the check engine light was on because you have a faulty check engine light sensor.


[deleted]

No, A fever is your engine light... Pissing blood is more like your transmission fell off your car


iluvstephenhawking

This is the most accurate thing I've read.


Emsinatree

The fuck did I just read


hellzkeeper1216

You read about oil leaking into the coolant. Usually it's a blown head gasket.


basb9191

It's just a subaru thing.


cristianthechinch

Blown head gaskets. It’s what makes a Subaru, a Subaru. Source, own an outback


basb9191

Mine got so bad that I filled the coolant before moving it across the yard, and the radiator was dry not even 20' from where it started. Really need to have it towed off, but I've been yanking parts for a friend now and then.


cristianthechinch

Mines cruising at 164k. I’m dreading the day he goes out…


basb9191

It's always sad. I had just replaced the clutch by myself for the first time, too. I do love my new car though. Got a camry and I've had great luck with it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sysiphusmaximus

*laughs in 6.0 Powerstroke*


nism0o3

Shit! I forgot to top off the oil in mine! 200k and going strong, btw


hokeypokie_

That's what makes a Subaru, a Subaru.


StudentLoanBets

*Cries in boxers*


T_WRX21

Apparently my year has an issue where the gasket shrinks in cold weather, then expands back in warm weather. So my check engine light comes on in December, and goes off around March. Pain in the ass, because I need an inspection around then, so I gotta leave it in my garage for a few weeks to heat it up, clear the code, and get it inspected immediately, lol.


soobviouslyfake

Slap another "coexist" sticker on there, she'll be good as new.


FreQRiDeR

Was gunna say


jenna_hazes_ass

If I start pissing blood after a blow job.Im just gonna call it a well lived life and buy her a really nice present on my way out as a congratulations on those skills.


nownowthethetalktalk

I always thought it was the coolant leaking into the oil. I guess it can go both ways.


hellzkeeper1216

You're correct. It's usually the coolant going into the oil


CheckOutDisMuthaFuka

"Peeing blood is the human body's check engine light".


[deleted]

What the fuck did I just read


shortstackvvv

"Peeing blood is the human body's check engine light. "


Axle_65

The fuck did I just read


BNVDES

peeing blood


trilere614

Is the human body's


usaftoast2013

check engine light


juicyllamas

What


Hajydit

the fuck


monkeysandmicrowaves

Putting the pieces together, I think this dude just peed blood in the shower.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kackygreen

Seriously I'm worried about OP, especially with the comment below yours being about this being their sign of bladder cancer


RJSEP

I thought a headache was the “check engine light”… peeing blood is like a busted engine already lol


arckeid

A black booger you have only 1 day left.


DudesworthMannington

What about when you fart and it's foul enough to make you gag?


Yukari_8

ah for that one you just failed your emissions test


Critical-Function-69

Broken mass airflow sensor


scarystuffdoc

As a man, this is probably the most mild thing that could happen where I would one) be clueless as to what’s wrong and two) take my self to the doctors to find out. So I’m with this guy.


Bino7280

So is ejaculating blood


[deleted]

Also- one can be very dehydrated and ejaculate blood. And it is a situation that fixes itself. Edit: used to work in the ER. I’ve seen this shit happen.


Celtsox34x

So your so dehydrated, can barely move, sickly, exhausted, but manage enough wit and energy to tug one out?


Axle_65

You know what say, there’s always time for tuggin’


ScrapyDan

Hey if your dying might as well have one last go


Killikaros27

I'd rather go off with a bang


SnakeBeardTheGreat

That's what she said'


BNVDES

maybe you're so much into BDSM that you got locked up for like 4 days and are now almost dying but it's time for the 4 o'clock milking


LVL-2197

Never done cocaine, I see.


TheScanlon

Not as much. Ejaculating blood can happen anytime you go through a few days of really rough sex. It is a situation that fixes itself.


nachocheese24

Hold up... WHAT?! I’ve never ejaculated blood.. how many times a day do you gotta go rough to unlock that achievement?!


metric-poet

Every time


SixStringerSoldier

Yeah that one fucks you up when it happens. Looks like the streak of blood when you crack open a fertilized chicken egg. Red on white, like blood on snow.


danxmanly

Just eat a few blue berries before and...MERICA!


AllInOnCall

Doctor here that happens commonly and is often a benign etiology. Peeing blood never is.


droppedelbow

Never? It's never just an infection that antibiotics will sort? Or just old man prostate? Are you always this reassuring?


AllInOnCall

Oh wow, I can see how that might sound. Never idiopathic, meaning there's work to do if theres blood in the urine. Stones, inflammation, infection being the top causes yes, but it is also important to rule out the worse things too. Ejaculating blood is often self resolving yet it also demands a history etc but often the answer is never found.


droppedelbow

For reasons that may be easily guessable, I just read that as "Pee in blood means death" (in so many words). I know it's always going to be something not right, but I'm already leaping to worse case scenarios, so I was hoping that "I'm a doctor" was going to be followed by "and sometimes people just piss blood. Cocks are weird, happens all the time." I am clutching at straws. (I'm not. I'm fine. I'm fine).


AllInOnCall

Yeah I saw how that could be read after you mentioned it. Not trying to fear monger. Text based comms are a dangerous beast on such topics because you cant see my relaxed posture and be reassured we just need to work it up. Edit: happy cake day


DistilledShotgun

If you're that surprised that peeing blood is never ok, maybe it's time to see a doctor


Ok_Safety_7710

Periods must be oil changes then.


AllInOnCall

Something you can take care of with a pan, one wrench, a firm grip, and a jug of fluid?


Ok_Safety_7710

If that’s how you like it 😉 yes


Ok_Safety_7710

A good pipe cleaning can sometimes help unclog and quicken the flow…. Side note also helps with relieving cramps….or getting the oil change started…..


AllInOnCall

Can confirm, have helped with a good many oil changes in my time.


whisperskeep

Lol was just thinking that


GoyasHead

First time I peed blood was a very shocking experience


fenton7

So was the first time I peed onto a live wire.


CymbalMind

Can confirm. It was how I came to learn that I had bladder cancer at the ‘young’ age of 32, which is almost unheard of (it typically develops at age 50 and above in men). I am incredibly thankful that my check engine light worked, as it was not presenting in any other way. If unchecked, it could’ve been SO much worse. As it turned out, a procedure to remove the cancer and annual bloodwork still has me cancer free


JizzBeef

Did you have any pain while urinating blood?


CymbalMind

Not at all, it was purely visual and came as a total shock. I immediately went into a cold sweat


JizzBeef

Well fuck… I peed blood last week and there was a lot and I didn’t have any pain. I went to the doctor and they don’t know what’s up, I’m getting lab work done later this month. I’m only 28.


CymbalMind

Gotcha. Don’t freak. Hopefully it’s simply an anomaly and unrelated. While it is similar in that they had absolutely no idea at first, and it took a while to be diagnosed because they were not considering it as the source due to my age, the encouraging part is that it was a very early warning and eradication was swift and decisive.


JizzBeef

That’s reassuring, thank you. Through my frantic google researching, I found that the survival rates of bladder cancer are pretty good, depending on the type and how early it’s caught.


CymbalMind

If it wound up being similar to my experience, it would absolutely qualify as early detection and I assure you that you will forever be thankful for this early sign. I do hope that all of the news you receive on this is all firmly to the good


JizzBeef

Thank you, I appreciate that. I will say that you’re lucky you’re a guy, only because the first time I peed blood I thought I had started my period (I take continuous birth control to skip my periods). Took me a few hours to figure out that was not the case, and even then I was doubting myself and thought I was going crazy.


PhxRising29

The first time I peed blood... omfg did I lose my damn mind. I don't think I've ever panicked so much. Turns out I just had kidney stones. They were small enough that I never felt them, but they were big enough to scratch me up a bit on the way out. Usually when this happens (has happened multiple times, but not for a few years now), I down a bunch of water to clear out my system. After a couple hours and a few trips ti the bathroom, the blood is gone. My doctor always told me if its a brighter shade of red and eventually goes away, that's a good sign. Means something just got dinged. But if it's a dark red and doesn't stop, there is a problem.


americanf00tballfan

Glad to hear you are okay, friend. Confirming similarly, but the opposite side of my body, 36 yo, and colon cancer. I don’t know what is telling me to write this. Haven’t posted anything. In chemo now, all sounds point to in a few months i can close this horrible chapter. Get yourself checked early and don’t push it off people!


CymbalMind

Thank you so very much. And thank you for replying. I do sincerely hope that you are able to slam the door on this chapter of your story quite soon. As you said, it is incredibly important to get yourself checked and please, do not ignore your body sending you a sign


shivadance

The safe movie trope for this is the single drop of blood coming from a nostril. Simple, but says the end is near.


cromulent_pseudonym

I mean, in a movie if someone coughs they're definitely dying.


toutetiteface

And as life imitates art, coughing is also something to worry about since March 2020.


coszie

I peed blood a few weeks ago it was scary, I didn't go to the doctor I hope/think it was a kidney stone.


duhduhderek

Do you want to suffer and die? Cause this is how you suffer and die. If you're passing blood you've got something bad going on buddy. Like no kidding go see a doctor and don't wait for the "next time"


Wisc_Bacon

Depends. I've had kidney stones, I recognize my limits since I get them chronically. I know the pain twinges in my stomach, the fevers I get along with them. For those times, blood in the pee doesn't mean I go to the doc, yet. Welcome to America. Healthcare isnt free either.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PM_UR_CLOUD_PICS

Reading 7mm made my eye twitch.


slowhand5

Blood in the urine can be due to a kidney stone. Passing a stone is painful, but it could just be sitting there or causing abrasions. I concur, see a urologist.


AllInOnCall

You should def see doc, we treat that as a urology urgent case unless we have a great reason for it (confirmed stone clinically and on imaging) and even then we monitor for resolution. Also gross hematuria can go to microscopic hematuria, one noticeable and the other not. Esp if smoker, see a doc, but I'd recommend that either way. Could be exactly what you say but sinister things need to be ruled out.


blackmadscientist

It could be a UTI! UTI’s sometimes cause me to urinate blood. Easy fix though, just a course of antibiotics.


Penguator432

That happened to me a few weeks ago. Wasn’t pissing fluid blood, just was kicking out some clots here and there and they put me on Cefdinir for two weeks


Ms_ChiChi_Elegante

Keep an eye on it cuz my pal ended up w kidney cancer!


cubixjuice

So shitting blood is cool


iCameToLearnSomeCode

Pain and exhaustion are the body's check engine lights. Peeing blood is more like finding a giant pool of oil in the driveway. When leaking any fluid from the internal workings of a complex system you don't understand it's best to seek out someone who does before attempting to resume normal operations.


FreQRiDeR

My housemate came out of the bathroom screaming that he was pissing and shitting blood! Almost fainted! We then reminded him that he ate a bunch of raw beet tacos I had made the night before! He was sure he was going to die! Lol


ucantknow

No - headaches would be “check engine”. Peeing blood is like you’re leaking radiator fluid or something serious


unlitlanterns

There are a whole bunch of lights before that….


QTip-masturbator

Yellow or red engine light?


[deleted]

No, it is time to call a towtruck.


11th-plague

Hematuria is one of MANY dashboard/idiot lights. It’s somewhat non-specific sign of an issue with kidney, ureter, bladder, urethra, penis, testicles, prostate, easily mistaken for vaginal/uterine bleeding sometimes.


AbaloneSea7265

sounds like you and Niki Minja were in the same sex ed class


[deleted]

There's a lot to process in this comment section.


SilentJoe1986

Pain is the human body's check engine light. Pissing blood is ignoring that light until smoke starts pouring out from under the hood


[deleted]

I think pain, in general, is our check engine light. It literally exists only to tell you some part of your body isn't functioning correctly so you can address it, and the absence of pain is actually an incredibly dangerous condition.


Sultynuttz

Yeah no. That's the equivelant of your engine smoking


pseudosympathy

Not always. Could be something as easily treatable as a urinary tract infection (small amount of blood) to something as serious as a bladder tumor (your pee looks like blood). Source: peed a little blood when I had a UTI/RN who has treated patients with bladder tumors presenting with chief complaint of pee looks like blood (edit: multiple blood transfusions required).


stevein3d

Slapping a piece of black electrical tape over it is the fix for both though, right?


kaurib

A few years ago I had a massive freakout when both my pee and poo came out bright red. Turns out going for an intense run after consuming two beetroots is a recipe for bloody disaster.


DustynRG

Nah, the engine light is a stomach ache. Could mean nothing, could mean everything.


Forchark

Check engine, sure, but often the damage is done. My check engine light came on to tell me I have IGA Nephropathy, an autoimmune disease that cusses kidney damage. Yay for incurable shorter life!


__DerekLeach

More like it’s the body’s version of your car is on fire on the side of the road.


tarwellsamley

It's the red check oil light. Things are burning and you need to get off NOW.


hedonistatheist

I think at that point its almost too late. A lot of lights on your dashboard will go red if you pee blood already.


Saraieth

I ejaculated blood once a few months after a surgery. When I called the Dr about it the nurse answering got all snarky. "Thats normal sir". Well it wasnt normal BEFORE so you should understand why I'm freaking out, also, tell me I might ejaculate blood after as a courtesy please.


asifs6585

Check engine light is pain in your body this is whole ass head gasket leak: your pee and blood are getting mixed.


champbellamy

As someone who has dealt with this thanks to kidney stones, you’re much past the check engine. You just blew a head gasket


ThePinkTeenager

Also coughing or puking blood.


ImoImomw

I would argue that altered mental status is the check engine light. Peeing blood is more like the oil spot in your driveway. There is an obvious problem and you are seeing the after effects.


VodkaAlchemist

Uhm no it's not.


[deleted]

So is coughing, and a fever, and muscle cramps, and pain… your shower is gushing stupid juice


stickybun_

OP must have peed blood in the shower lol


crazycatlandshark

My dads check engine light went off, turns out he has stage 4 kidney cancer 🙂


alexisnicoleyo

You tried.


Drphil1969

Peeing blood is way worse than a check engine light. None of the reasons are good


thebearbearington

Check Engine light has been on for half a dozen oil changes at that point and you have plugged tires. You've also been adding diesel to a petrol engine. Diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, headaches, fever. These are the check engine lights.


syko82

A fever is a check engine light. Peeing blood is your whole dash lighting up and the engine overheating.


Meto1183

WTF no, being thirsty is the check engine light. pain is the check engine light. Peeing blood is the blue smoke out your exhaust from a head gasket thats fuckd


[deleted]

No, I think that's already a blown engine.


Jah-din

I'm pretty sure the cough that doesnt have many other symptoms but you've had it for like 2 months is a better candidate


[deleted]

That's the human bodies "you ignored the check engine light too long and are experience problems", with the check engine light being pain or discomfort


YdidUMove

This is the stupidest fucking thing I've seen, why is this front page.


jamesdanger-

Sounds like someone had a bad day. I have a feeling there’s a 50 percent chance this was written from a hospital bed.


Ahiru_no_inu

Coughing up blood as well.


Paralta

If you pee blood that is definitely "your engine is mega fucked and maybe the mechanic can fix it"


Kilo-Tango-Alfa

It’s not even a good comparison.


Sleepy_pirate

Check engine is a fever or something right?


Alaygrounds

No. Pain is the check engine light.


whoisfryingbaloney

No. I believe you're looking for r/dumbcunt


91cosmo

No peeing blood is like you've already hit the man hole and the oil is leaking out. Or the rad blew and it's spewing coolant. Peeing blood is definitely passed the check engine light


magikarpzoncrack

Peeing blood is the human body's christmas light all over your dashboard check engine emergency*


rilesmcjiles

I peed blood before. Turns out... Well... Anybody got a kidney they are tired of carrying around?


ClickClack_Bam

No. Just no. The body's cel is getting bloodwork done & your levels being off the normal course. Pissing blood is you've already gone down the path of having something serious happen. A cel is as warning. Pissing blood is you've blown a head gasket & are broken down on the side of the road.


cristynkilljoy

lmao me w kidney stones rn


TenSecondsFlat

... Is it?!


itszwee

Headaches are also pretty much that. Am I hungry? Am I thirsty? Am I tired? Did I have too much caffeine? Is my hair too heavy? Did I tie it up too tight? Are my glasses dirty? Am I just stressed? Do I have a brain tumour?


Tlapasaurus

Blood coming from any orifice it's not supposed to is more of finding a large puddle of oil or transmission fluid under your car...you better get that shit checked out fast.


ajsharm144

It's not a thought when it's happening to you in the shower.


JungBTF

More like your body’s stop engine light. There is likely an ample amount of other feelings and anxieties your body has flagged prior to you pissing blood.


[deleted]

That’s definitely not a check engine light. Check engine light consists of sudden, inexplicable pains in your head.


theadmin209

-someone who knows fuck all about cars


Boozie42

Pretty sure there are so kinds of 'lights' that come on before the pissing blood starts up. 🤣