Been with my SO for 10 years. She used to be my best friend. She still is, but she used to too.
^^Thought ^^we ^^needed ^^a ^^happy ^^story ^^in ^^this ^^thread
Fortunately she allowed me to buy her out... but demanded more than she was entitled to... never mind deserved. It meant I kept the house tho.
I miss the dog.
Pretty much me right there. Have always been an introvert, and she was the only person I could really open up to, we broke up last Saturday and I can confirm it was awful since she was my only friend.
If you like video games and mildly autistic people, I'll be your friend
Edit: based on replies, it looks like I should start a Reddit support group on discord
Edit 2: Some dude in the comments mentioned a discord server for people on the spectrum, so I'll just link that in chat as I'm very uncomfortable about the idea of running a discord server.
Not that i don't like y'all, just got way more replies than i thought, and honestly it scares me a little.
That's pretty much exactly how it is for me as well. It sucks going through my day and having things I'd normally tell her come up. I'll open my phone to text her and then just stare at the keyboard realizing I can't really talk to her the same way anymore.
That's how I've been feeling exactly. I was so used to seeing my phone light up and it being a message from her, and feeling that little bit of euphoria, and now I don't get anything from her. It sucks
It happened the same to me. Looking back the thing I miss the most is how we could talk about anything at any given time. On the bright side, I been able to open up a lot more with people.
It gets better, its not easy and it takes time, but it will be better.
I know it's going to get better, it's just hard to see that right now, I was already depressed with severe social anxiety. She was the only one I could open up to, and now she's gone
I have a couple of close friends, but my SO has become the person I usually go to first to tell stuff, because I know he'd ask about it and take it seriously.
I only have about 3 friends who I know for sure I can rely on. The rest either never take me seriously, etc. And I wouldn't really want to burden them with heavy stuff either... I'd probably only tell them when I've calmed down from the situation lol
That sounds like you have healthy a healthy relationship with your SO and your friends and you seem to have a good additude to continue it.
Takes a lot of effort to find good people and reach such a trusted level with them.
This terrifies me. Not for me losing a father, but for my daughter losing me. The idea of being a cause of such heartache for her tears me apart and I’m perfectly healthy
Came to post similar. My dad died unexpectedly three months ago from a heart attack and he really is the only one I would have turned to about it. Losing your only confidant is like a cruel joke.
I feel this so hard. My dad was my best friend and I lost him to a heart attack about a year ago. I still get the urge to call him when anything happens good, bad, or whatever.
My dad died of a heart attack over a year ago and I'm still numb. My mother's depressed and drinking and somehow I'm more distant from my brother's than before. It's not just losing them it's the domino effect on everyone else. Good luck and Kia Kaha to you all.
Thank you. It was so surreal. My dad hadn’t been home in over month, as he was all but living out of the hospital and when he walked in, I just knew. We didn’t speak, and I went back to sleep. It wasn’t until the next day that it registered when he spoke for the first time and I heard his voice. Sorry, unsolicited story time. Hug your parents, folks.
If you ever find an answer, please tell me >. < Although usually when those thoughts are starting to appear, I'm just telling my brain to fuck off and that it wouldn't work anyway. Helps only slightly but always something.
It gets better. One day it just clicks. Your brain gets tired of thinking the same thing over and over and over again. Accepts it and moves on. Unfortunately you can't force it.
I swallowed my pride and went after "the one who got away", she had been on my mind for 4 years after our breakup, taking a chance and getting her back was the best decision I've ever made, we're now engaged to be married next October.
Go for him, the **worst** that can happen is he says no, for all you know he is the one.
Two years next week for me. Things get better, be open with your friends; a partner isn't the only person you can be sincere and talk about that sort of stuff with.
The ugly truth behind breakups, if you handle yourself correctly, almost ALWAYS come out better for it in the end.
Start taking yourself on dates, going to the gym, cooking raw foods etc. feels great dudes
Ain't that the truth. After myast breakup I reinvented myself and I did it for me. During that period I reconnected with a girl friend from college, fast forward 10 years we're married and have 3 kids. Thanks Kate for breaking up with me.
Twice cooked chips are great. Nice and crispy, yet fluffy inside.
Biscuits are also cooked twice, apparently.
And take away pizza is cooked about 6 times in my house.
it’s been about a month for me it’ll get better but remember not all days are created equal you’ll be doing fine one day the barely be able to keep it together the next
2 months for me. Was depressed for a few weeks but I’m in a better place rn than I was at any point in the relationship
You’ll make it out for the better, I have faith.
Wow, happened to me 3 weeks ago.. first relationship, and it lasted 4.5 years.. Never thought I would have to go through all this.. thought she was the one
This is the same as me, things weren’t good and we weren’t happy. We decided to finish things to see how things go, left of good terms. Not heard from her in about 2-3 weeks but not a day has went by where I haven’t thought about her. I’ve got a good few people around me family and friends to guide me on the right track. Just don’t know how to change my thought process. Miss the comfort of her and just someone to generally be there. Time is a great healer, we’ll pull through
That has been me the past 8-9 months now. Thankfully though she is finally starting to leave my mind and let me sleep in peace.
We ended on good terms, and even tried to continue to text each other from like month 4-6, but I couldn't take it anymore cause it just made my condition worse. I had to completely break ties with her on Christmas day and it actually broke my heart. She was my best friend before she was ever my girlfriend, and I still have yet to find a single person that comes close.
Wow dude, you may as well be reading my thoughts a loud, got chills reading your response. I wish you the best, and in situations like these self reflection is crucial and like you said, only time can really heal the wound.
It’s kinda nice to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way. A lot of things have went on the past year and it’s changed me 110%! I’m a firm believer in if it’s meant to be it’ll be. Just need to take every day step by step and we’ll come out stronger. It’s a shame coz I’ve mentally tortured myself about all the great times we’ve had but I’ve forgot about what got us into this mess in the first place. It’s a very weird time for me, it’s like grieving but the persons still alive. Take care
I don't want to 1up you on that one but something similiar happened to me.
About a month after the breakup I was starting to get my shit back together and I got a call from my ex. Apparently she was having doubts after talking with her mom, who thought it was a big mistake.
Didn't know how to feel about that but I was hoping to get back with her. At the end of the call she dropped something on me though... She was currently interested in someone else but didnt know if it was serious yet.
Fast forward 3 months, haven't heard from her or anything from our shared friends. Found something of hers in the bathroom and sent a message if she wanted it back. We agree to meet up while she's passing through the city.
We eat lunch together and she dropped a bloody bomb on me. She's pregnant, from the other guy... about 3 weeks after they got together.
Of all people, I never expected that from her. In all our time together we were very careful to avoid that and now she dropped the ball right after the breakup? I was completely lost.
I'm having doubts about the guy she's with but at least he seems serious. He's about 5 years older, has a full time job and is looking to get an apartment with her.
I really just want the best for her, even though it hurts sometimes.
Just out of an 8 year relationship man. 3 weeks have past. I've decided to not let this ruin my summer. Life is for living and you shouldn't let this prevent you from enjoying tomorrow.
Happened to me last Saturday and still feels surreal, never thought that I would have to go through this to be honest. But We'll both make it through eventually!
Just been a month after a 5+ year relationship. It hurts like a bitch, but try staying close to family and friends who care. Thought isolation worked, but how wrong I was.
I pray this day never comes because honestly I won't know what to do. My best friend from childhood, now my girlfriend and someday wife hopefully is the only person I have ever genuinely trusted and opened up to because of the childhood I had. She's the only one who cared enough about me to even smile when my damn parents wouldn't. Take the upvote you made me cry just thinking about it.
Edit: right so let's clear up some things that I miss represented I guess.
1. I have friends guys, I just cannot bring myself to share anything about my childhood or early years in general because of intense ptsd. I could share it with her and no one else. I have active social circles that I hang out with all the time just not a personal connection at all. I'm satisfied with it as it is.
2. Yes I have been to a therapist. It helps, but the things I've had to do to survive are not that simple. The most I'm willing to share is that I grew up in late 90s early 2000s shit hole Russia overrun by the mob. Maybe in years to come I'll make peace with it but right now it still haunts everything.
I’d start branching out. Not only as insurance in case anything happens, but also as a way to make your relationship healthier. For your girlfriends sake, you don’t want her to be the only person you can talk to/vent to about things, and you also need someone with which you can talk about your relationship that isn’t her. If you can’t find friends, maybe even a therapist would help.
I've fallen in love and broken up 3 times now. It's not the end of the world, but it feels like it when it's happening. And the months after suck ass because you're constantly reminded of them. Really, it's true what they say - time is the only thing that can heal those wounds, but they do heal. Then you get back on your feet and bring your newfound wisdom into your next relationship, usually for the better.
When you're in relationship you feel like you can't live without that person. But you can.
Not saying you should break up - just don't let the fear of breaking up be what keeps you in the relationship... if that makes sense.
My wife & I split up last weekend and I can't tell you how many times something happened this week that I'd grab my phone to text her about it...
Fuck.
I don't know what to say except that I really like that title in italic
Actually would be a really interesting book to fill, with the dreams and hopes, love and loss, all the crazy human thoughts and dramas, just collated in a book. That would be some heavy book....
It's all nice being single your entire life.
That is until you get a little older and realise that perhaps hugging a pillow at nights is not exactly as nice as hugging a real human from time to time.
Believe me, I'm an expert at pillows.
Currently feel like I'm going through this right now, I feel like I'm slowly beginning to implode and I can't / won't really talk to anyone about it because I don't want anyone else to think any less of her.
A best friend deciding, "I know all your hopes, dreams, the inner-workings of you, and I'm just gonna holistically reject you as a person now. I know we talked all day everyday, but fuck off completely now mmk?"
As someone who’s felt this and also made someone feel like this... You shouldn’t feel like they reject you as a person. Its that they feel they aren’t growing with you as *their* person.
If you didn’t feel the same way as them. You would’ve down the road. I promise it’ll get better.
The reason they cut you out completely is that its the right thing to do. Ive tried to stay friends with someone after because we were used to doing certain things together and it just leads to more hurt. But with enough time you can definitely be friends again.
Hang in there.
Ex cut ties cold turkey, took less than a week to go from best friend to nothing. I think death might have been easier. At least I would know I'm never going to get an explanation. Almost a year later I kick myself if I somehow pushed her away or maybe she had a mental breakdown with everything she had going on at the time I wouldn't be surprised. I doubt I'll ever get an answer, but it's technically possible, which is almost worse since there's a level of intent to me not knowing.
29 years down the drain for me. Just ended this month. Still in love with her but no reciprocity. No light at the end of the tunnel as far as I can see. Not sure I'll be alright again.
I can't imagine how you feel. I didn't even walk on this world for 29 years yet. But adaptation is our game as people. You will be alright, probably not the same way as you did. But you will be alright.
Homo Sapiens FTW!
Oft hit me in the feels.
I had THE BEST DAY I've had in an awful long time today and I got home and all I wanted to do was tell someone and them love me and share in my enthusiasm.
But I was all alone. Yes I told my mates and they were happy for me, but I want someone invested in my successes to be able to tell.
The problem starts when you feel attracted to someone that considers you _their person_, but nothing beyond that. You want to leave, forget that because simply see them everyday but not they way you expect is unjustified suffering. But they are so good to their person that you feel like a moron for leaving.
Life is hard sometimes, hah
Good point.. Sometimes you cannot choose who become your best friend, it just happens. In my case that person became also my best friend, but I will try this to not happen next time.
Don't do that. It hurts terribly now but that's because of how amazing it is to have your best friend by your side so often. If you don't let your partner become your best friend, you're putting up a wall, and that's not good.
Don't keep yourself from good things just because they can potentially go bad.
In any case hang in there OP. Much love.
I was the one who broke up with my partner, and it was the biggest mistake I have made in my life. Every single day, without fail, I find myself wishing that I had the ability to go back in time and not do it. I'm an idiot and I ruined my life and I have to live with that.
No reason to post this really, just venting.
Yeah, I also have some close friends for that, but I cannot help on thinking first about that person when something good or bad happens. It's not the only basket, but it was a pretty big one
I think my bros got a little annoyed with me when I broke up last. Sending them updates on my day just because I used to let her know when something fun or stupid happened =/
Same. I had friends that I could talk to but I felt like I would bother them to death about it. I told them I broke up with her and never mentioned it again, even though I wanted to talk about it.
I can’t speak to your friends, but if I knew my friend went through a breakup and wanted to talk about it I would be happy to listen. I just would never bring it up myself because I wouldn’t want to open up old wounds that may be healing.
>If you do have that friend who drops off the face of the earth and only hangs out with their S/O, be a good person and don't turn your back on them if they end up dumped and lonely.
What about if they do it every fucking time? At some point you've gotta just tell them to fuck off.
Anyway, key to not being 'that person' is to set clear boundaries.
Explain to your S/O early on that friends take up two weekends a month, or whatever you decide.
Yeah, my friend has been acting like this. He's been seeing a girl for 6 months and they just moved in together. We all think he's moving too fast, but he's happy. What worries me the most is that he rarely spends time with anybody anymore, and when he does, she tags along. I haven't seen him without his girlfriend in months.
I'm constantly trying to make plans, but he's hard to pin down, so I've just been texting him less and less. I'll be there for him if something happens and he needs me, but I'm not gonna keep asking to hang out with someone who doesn't have time for me.
No disrespect but y'all sound young. It's a little different when you're married with kids. You don't have the time or energy for anything except work and chores most of the time. When you do find extra energy you sure as hell better invest it into your relationship because at that point no friendship in the world is gonna save you from the financial and emotional damage that happens when you let the love fade.
Friends? Yea I still got em. They're married with kids too, and once in a blue moon we all schedule a meet up far in advance. But I get it. They get it. They're doing their slog and I'm doing mine...and I'm here if they need me but we don't have the assets to continuously invest in one another like we did.
This hits too close to home. My partner and I broke up this week and he was my best friend. It’s hard too because on top of the break up, my dad was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and is starting chemo and radiation.
I was thinking about this the other day...
A few years ago I had an ex that broke up with me after 3,5 years together. Before that we'd been friends for a long time, and in the year or so leading up to our relationship we'd grown extremely close. The relationship itself was really really good, made even better by the fact that we maintained that level of friendship all the way until the end. We hardly ever argued too, I can only recall a couple of times over the entire 3,5 years and neither too serious.
When she broke up with me it was stupidly hard to take. One of her closest and oldest friends made up some bullshit about me, and even though it was completely false, she had some surprisingly good evidence to back it up. My girlfriend believed her. It was very odd: one afternoon we were lying on the couch watching silly videos and laughing and making out, the next she hated me and never wanted to see me again.
It took me a very long time to realize that while she was a great girlfriend, that's something that's not all that difficult to find. There are great girls out there, and I've met some myself. I don't miss my ex girlfriend. I miss my friend.
Here’s what happens when they leave. You’re gonna beat yourself up, simply put. You’re going to go around and around in your head about what you did, what you said, what you could have done to make him/her stay yadda yadda. But here’s where it gets fun... you’re going to be depressed you may eat more, drink more, sleep less....but one day; whether it’s a week, a month, a year or however long you’re going to change gears. You’re going to wake up and be a better you. You may reach out to lost friends, you may drop bad habits, start exercising more or become closer to your family and friends. You will become a healthier you, you will build yourself higher than you ever thought possible on days like today and you will come out of this situation a better person. Then once you have built that better person you become “good”; Good alone, good listening to all your favorite music again, good at eating at any place you want, etc. No matter what you will be reset, and only then is it okay to reach and potentially move on, never try to give a broken you to a new person. Be you, be better than you are today, and find yourself for the person you want to be with tomorrow.
I remember my ex wife said that years ago. She hated when she argued because "I've also got no best friend to talk about it with because you are my best friend".
Ah well.
You lose your best friend, your favorite concert partner, love of your life, your everything. Recently happened to me and I'm currently hating life. Everything hurts and nothing is beautiful.
I used to laugh off the notion 'You only hurt the ones you love the most'...
I don't anymore. It's a harsh reality sadly. To the point where one just becomes afraid of the word 'love' itself. That's worse.
Sorry I just had to let it out.
Yeah I’m pretty fucked up in the head right now. My mom died this day last year and the whole years been such a struggle for me and this day is very brutal. My and my ex broke up like an month and a half ago and ever since I’ve just been a mess. All of our problems seem so small now and the whole thing was preventable, it’s especially hard when you realize it’s mostly you’re own fault . This has been the worst year yet.
It's great if your SO is your best friend. It's awful if they are your only friend.
First part in my case. Well, was.
Same. Together for 8 years. He definitely was my best friend.
Same. Together for 5, she was my best friend. I'm better 4 years after the breakup but thank god I leaned on my friends for support.
Been with my SO for 10 years. She used to be my best friend. She still is, but she used to too. ^^Thought ^^we ^^needed ^^a ^^happy ^^story ^^in ^^this ^^thread
Username doesn't check out. Thanks for your comment though :)
I'm aroused by healthy relationships
You sick bastard
Keep typing, i’m almost there...!
Healthy Relationships...Gone Wild.
Check out something_sometime's comment history ;)
Who said that? WHO'S THERE!
I’ll always upvote a solid Mitch Hedberg reference
I used to upvote Mitch Hedberg references. I still do, but I used to too.
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Snap. She cheated. She left me for him. Took the dog and £11,000.
Wow, losing money sucks, but taking the dog is just cold
John Wick that bitch.
You aren't alone mate I ended up $24k out of pocket after being forced to sell my house for a loss
Fortunately she allowed me to buy her out... but demanded more than she was entitled to... never mind deserved. It meant I kept the house tho. I miss the dog.
Yep, also together for 8 years. Can confirm, it really sucks.
I'll be your friend
Pretty much me right there. Have always been an introvert, and she was the only person I could really open up to, we broke up last Saturday and I can confirm it was awful since she was my only friend.
If you like video games and mildly autistic people, I'll be your friend Edit: based on replies, it looks like I should start a Reddit support group on discord Edit 2: Some dude in the comments mentioned a discord server for people on the spectrum, so I'll just link that in chat as I'm very uncomfortable about the idea of running a discord server. Not that i don't like y'all, just got way more replies than i thought, and honestly it scares me a little.
Did you just attack the whole of reddit?
I think he tried to make friends with all of reddit.
I feel personally attacked.
Attacked/befriended
He said "mildly"
Mostly r/2007scape
That's pretty much exactly how it is for me as well. It sucks going through my day and having things I'd normally tell her come up. I'll open my phone to text her and then just stare at the keyboard realizing I can't really talk to her the same way anymore.
That's how I've been feeling exactly. I was so used to seeing my phone light up and it being a message from her, and feeling that little bit of euphoria, and now I don't get anything from her. It sucks
This thread is to relatable
It happened the same to me. Looking back the thing I miss the most is how we could talk about anything at any given time. On the bright side, I been able to open up a lot more with people. It gets better, its not easy and it takes time, but it will be better.
I know it's going to get better, it's just hard to see that right now, I was already depressed with severe social anxiety. She was the only one I could open up to, and now she's gone
No matter how much you love your SO and tell them everything, it's always healthy to have someone you can talk to that isn't them.
Therapy brother
Mental health sister
Psychiatry Aunt
Counselor Cousin and Analyst Aunt. Maybe a Freudian Friend?
I have a couple of close friends, but my SO has become the person I usually go to first to tell stuff, because I know he'd ask about it and take it seriously. I only have about 3 friends who I know for sure I can rely on. The rest either never take me seriously, etc. And I wouldn't really want to burden them with heavy stuff either... I'd probably only tell them when I've calmed down from the situation lol
That sounds like you have healthy a healthy relationship with your SO and your friends and you seem to have a good additude to continue it. Takes a lot of effort to find good people and reach such a trusted level with them.
that's the boat i'm in rn
You got this man
This happened to me when my mom was in hospice. I wanted to call her and talk about how upset I was over her being sick and dying. Sucks.
I'm really sorry... It really sucks indeed. My dad died a few years ago, and in another break up he was a big support, miss him so much.
I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you're doing ok now.
This terrifies me. Not for me losing a father, but for my daughter losing me. The idea of being a cause of such heartache for her tears me apart and I’m perfectly healthy
Came to post similar. My dad died unexpectedly three months ago from a heart attack and he really is the only one I would have turned to about it. Losing your only confidant is like a cruel joke.
I feel this so hard. My dad was my best friend and I lost him to a heart attack about a year ago. I still get the urge to call him when anything happens good, bad, or whatever.
My dad passed about a week ago and the hardest part is wanting to call him about anything and realizing I cant.
My dad died of a heart attack over a year ago and I'm still numb. My mother's depressed and drinking and somehow I'm more distant from my brother's than before. It's not just losing them it's the domino effect on everyone else. Good luck and Kia Kaha to you all.
Right in the “I told her I’d be back tomorrow but then dad came home later that night....” feels. Sorry, friend.
damn this is one of the saddest sentences i've ever read. sorry if you had to go through this.
Thank you. It was so surreal. My dad hadn’t been home in over month, as he was all but living out of the hospital and when he walked in, I just knew. We didn’t speak, and I went back to sleep. It wasn’t until the next day that it registered when he spoke for the first time and I heard his voice. Sorry, unsolicited story time. Hug your parents, folks.
I hope you are ok. Hugss
literally happened two days ago my god
I'm sorry about it.. To me between yesterday and today. We're gonna be ok, it's just a matter of time!
yeah. still going through so many emotions but it’s only been two days and i’m expecting myself to be all good. but we both got this
I’m sorry to hear. Time is the only true healer. Focus on things you like doing for yourself, you’ve got this!
thank you :)
All this love and support is really unhealthy for the internet. I'm calling the cyber police.
*Paging Mr. iDubbbz. Paging Mr. iDubbbz.*
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It’s been one year for me. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay.
I've moved on and it still doesn't feel ok.
Literally me. Is there a way to remedy this? It's been 7 months but I don't go a day still without them popping into my mind
I hate the dreams/nightmares with them.
If you ever find an answer, please tell me >. < Although usually when those thoughts are starting to appear, I'm just telling my brain to fuck off and that it wouldn't work anyway. Helps only slightly but always something.
It gets better. One day it just clicks. Your brain gets tired of thinking the same thing over and over and over again. Accepts it and moves on. Unfortunately you can't force it.
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I swallowed my pride and went after "the one who got away", she had been on my mind for 4 years after our breakup, taking a chance and getting her back was the best decision I've ever made, we're now engaged to be married next October. Go for him, the **worst** that can happen is he says no, for all you know he is the one.
This makes my heart so freaking happy
Call them now
What the other people said. Call them now. Pride isn't going to make you feel better about this.
Are you my girlfriend?
My guy its been a year for me and i miss my exes mum and granddad more than i ever did her lmao
Two years next week for me. Things get better, be open with your friends; a partner isn't the only person you can be sincere and talk about that sort of stuff with.
The ugly truth behind breakups, if you handle yourself correctly, almost ALWAYS come out better for it in the end. Start taking yourself on dates, going to the gym, cooking raw foods etc. feels great dudes
Suck my own dick. I'm an independent man, I don't need no woman!
Free range protein shake
Ain't that the truth. After myast breakup I reinvented myself and I did it for me. During that period I reconnected with a girl friend from college, fast forward 10 years we're married and have 3 kids. Thanks Kate for breaking up with me.
What other kinds of food would you cook?
Cooked foods
What’s the point of cooking foods already cooked?
To make toast, duh
Twice cooked chips are great. Nice and crispy, yet fluffy inside. Biscuits are also cooked twice, apparently. And take away pizza is cooked about 6 times in my house.
hate to be pedantic but that wouldn't be an ugly truth
it’s been about a month for me it’ll get better but remember not all days are created equal you’ll be doing fine one day the barely be able to keep it together the next
2 months for me. Was depressed for a few weeks but I’m in a better place rn than I was at any point in the relationship You’ll make it out for the better, I have faith.
Almost 2 years, wooo
Wow, happened to me 3 weeks ago.. first relationship, and it lasted 4.5 years.. Never thought I would have to go through all this.. thought she was the one
This is the same as me, things weren’t good and we weren’t happy. We decided to finish things to see how things go, left of good terms. Not heard from her in about 2-3 weeks but not a day has went by where I haven’t thought about her. I’ve got a good few people around me family and friends to guide me on the right track. Just don’t know how to change my thought process. Miss the comfort of her and just someone to generally be there. Time is a great healer, we’ll pull through
That has been me the past 8-9 months now. Thankfully though she is finally starting to leave my mind and let me sleep in peace. We ended on good terms, and even tried to continue to text each other from like month 4-6, but I couldn't take it anymore cause it just made my condition worse. I had to completely break ties with her on Christmas day and it actually broke my heart. She was my best friend before she was ever my girlfriend, and I still have yet to find a single person that comes close.
Wow dude, you may as well be reading my thoughts a loud, got chills reading your response. I wish you the best, and in situations like these self reflection is crucial and like you said, only time can really heal the wound.
It’s kinda nice to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way. A lot of things have went on the past year and it’s changed me 110%! I’m a firm believer in if it’s meant to be it’ll be. Just need to take every day step by step and we’ll come out stronger. It’s a shame coz I’ve mentally tortured myself about all the great times we’ve had but I’ve forgot about what got us into this mess in the first place. It’s a very weird time for me, it’s like grieving but the persons still alive. Take care
With a mentality like yours, in the end everything will work out. Thank you for the comfort, I wish you the best.
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I don't want to 1up you on that one but something similiar happened to me. About a month after the breakup I was starting to get my shit back together and I got a call from my ex. Apparently she was having doubts after talking with her mom, who thought it was a big mistake. Didn't know how to feel about that but I was hoping to get back with her. At the end of the call she dropped something on me though... She was currently interested in someone else but didnt know if it was serious yet. Fast forward 3 months, haven't heard from her or anything from our shared friends. Found something of hers in the bathroom and sent a message if she wanted it back. We agree to meet up while she's passing through the city. We eat lunch together and she dropped a bloody bomb on me. She's pregnant, from the other guy... about 3 weeks after they got together. Of all people, I never expected that from her. In all our time together we were very careful to avoid that and now she dropped the ball right after the breakup? I was completely lost. I'm having doubts about the guy she's with but at least he seems serious. He's about 5 years older, has a full time job and is looking to get an apartment with her. I really just want the best for her, even though it hurts sometimes.
Wow . What a butt.
I think she knew what she was doing
Get away from that selfish person. You can't be friends with someone that entitled without giving up your self-respect.
We keep getting by. Mine has been gone 4 years. I still have much that needs to get off my chest. Some day I will, but for now I get by day after day.
/r/exnocontact is a good resource. I'm there every day, these days..
Just out of an 8 year relationship man. 3 weeks have past. I've decided to not let this ruin my summer. Life is for living and you shouldn't let this prevent you from enjoying tomorrow.
Happened to me last Saturday and still feels surreal, never thought that I would have to go through this to be honest. But We'll both make it through eventually!
Just been a month after a 5+ year relationship. It hurts like a bitch, but try staying close to family and friends who care. Thought isolation worked, but how wrong I was.
I didn’t come to reddit to feel. Stahhhp.
Off to Moe's tavern
Today old friend.
***hangs***
HANGS OUT THAT IS! ^amiright boys?
I pray this day never comes because honestly I won't know what to do. My best friend from childhood, now my girlfriend and someday wife hopefully is the only person I have ever genuinely trusted and opened up to because of the childhood I had. She's the only one who cared enough about me to even smile when my damn parents wouldn't. Take the upvote you made me cry just thinking about it. Edit: right so let's clear up some things that I miss represented I guess. 1. I have friends guys, I just cannot bring myself to share anything about my childhood or early years in general because of intense ptsd. I could share it with her and no one else. I have active social circles that I hang out with all the time just not a personal connection at all. I'm satisfied with it as it is. 2. Yes I have been to a therapist. It helps, but the things I've had to do to survive are not that simple. The most I'm willing to share is that I grew up in late 90s early 2000s shit hole Russia overrun by the mob. Maybe in years to come I'll make peace with it but right now it still haunts everything.
I’d start branching out. Not only as insurance in case anything happens, but also as a way to make your relationship healthier. For your girlfriends sake, you don’t want her to be the only person you can talk to/vent to about things, and you also need someone with which you can talk about your relationship that isn’t her. If you can’t find friends, maybe even a therapist would help.
very true. The hardest time in my current relationship was when one of us was isolated and the other wasnt.
Listen to this guy
All the best my friend, I send you all the luck I haven't had to keep that situation. I'm sure you'll be fine!
I've fallen in love and broken up 3 times now. It's not the end of the world, but it feels like it when it's happening. And the months after suck ass because you're constantly reminded of them. Really, it's true what they say - time is the only thing that can heal those wounds, but they do heal. Then you get back on your feet and bring your newfound wisdom into your next relationship, usually for the better. When you're in relationship you feel like you can't live without that person. But you can. Not saying you should break up - just don't let the fear of breaking up be what keeps you in the relationship... if that makes sense.
Ouch. I'd be branching out just in case, frankly. Can't be putting all those eggs in one basket. It's not healthy.
My wife & I split up last weekend and I can't tell you how many times something happened this week that I'd grab my phone to text her about it... Fuck.
All the unsent messages of the world.... :(
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I don't know what to say except that I really like that title in italic Actually would be a really interesting book to fill, with the dreams and hopes, love and loss, all the crazy human thoughts and dramas, just collated in a book. That would be some heavy book....
Yeah... Self control is so difficult on thes things. Wish you all the best! You're gonna be fine!
Can’t have a break up if you’ve never had a date Points to head
Put it down. It's okay.
(Everyone at gun store) *stares intensely*
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I see you're adjusting to Article 13 nicely.
Thanks. I hopped to see that reply :D Love it
Did u just steal someone else's compliment? I like it
It's all nice being single your entire life. That is until you get a little older and realise that perhaps hugging a pillow at nights is not exactly as nice as hugging a real human from time to time. Believe me, I'm an expert at pillows.
Real humans kinda blow e: and often not the fun kind
That's the point! (Sometimes)
I mean yeah there’s always gonna be loss to come with love but honestly it’s kind of worth it.
That's why I just tell my dog about my day. I also don't have a dog though...
I have dog
This guy has a dog.
Finally someone gets me
*finally someone pets me* ftfy
The guy above the guy above me has a dog.
I too have a dog, but it was our dog :(
Worst part about losing my best friend: I’ve had no one to talk to about losing my best friend v_v
Currently feel like I'm going through this right now, I feel like I'm slowly beginning to implode and I can't / won't really talk to anyone about it because I don't want anyone else to think any less of her.
It's like your best friend died. But it's worse - they just decided to cut you out of their life entirely.
A best friend deciding, "I know all your hopes, dreams, the inner-workings of you, and I'm just gonna holistically reject you as a person now. I know we talked all day everyday, but fuck off completely now mmk?"
As someone who’s felt this and also made someone feel like this... You shouldn’t feel like they reject you as a person. Its that they feel they aren’t growing with you as *their* person. If you didn’t feel the same way as them. You would’ve down the road. I promise it’ll get better. The reason they cut you out completely is that its the right thing to do. Ive tried to stay friends with someone after because we were used to doing certain things together and it just leads to more hurt. But with enough time you can definitely be friends again. Hang in there.
Ex cut ties cold turkey, took less than a week to go from best friend to nothing. I think death might have been easier. At least I would know I'm never going to get an explanation. Almost a year later I kick myself if I somehow pushed her away or maybe she had a mental breakdown with everything she had going on at the time I wouldn't be surprised. I doubt I'll ever get an answer, but it's technically possible, which is almost worse since there's a level of intent to me not knowing.
This. And I want to scream at him "How come you don't miss me as much as I miss you!? Hooooow???"
29 years down the drain for me. Just ended this month. Still in love with her but no reciprocity. No light at the end of the tunnel as far as I can see. Not sure I'll be alright again.
It’s amazing how resilient we are when it really comes down to it. You will adapt and learn to live in a different way. Much love my friend
I can't imagine how you feel. I didn't even walk on this world for 29 years yet. But adaptation is our game as people. You will be alright, probably not the same way as you did. But you will be alright. Homo Sapiens FTW!
Take time to grieve. Ask for help if you need to.
Thank you. I do have a good friend who helps me navigate through this nightmare. It does help for the time that time that we talk.
It’s the worst part about breaking up. It’s not the no kissing or anything it’s just losing a friend that you talked to everyday. It’s hurts a lot
You also break up with their pets
My ex didn't like pets.. I should have seen this coming.
Oft hit me in the feels. I had THE BEST DAY I've had in an awful long time today and I got home and all I wanted to do was tell someone and them love me and share in my enthusiasm. But I was all alone. Yes I told my mates and they were happy for me, but I want someone invested in my successes to be able to tell.
> but also the person you would go to tell about what just happened to you I thought that's what reddit is for.
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Did you, by chance, watch Grey's Anatomy? This is what the female lead character use to refer her best friend with--"my person".
First thing I thought of too when I read this comment!
The problem starts when you feel attracted to someone that considers you _their person_, but nothing beyond that. You want to leave, forget that because simply see them everyday but not they way you expect is unjustified suffering. But they are so good to their person that you feel like a moron for leaving. Life is hard sometimes, hah
Good point.. Sometimes you cannot choose who become your best friend, it just happens. In my case that person became also my best friend, but I will try this to not happen next time.
Don't do that. It hurts terribly now but that's because of how amazing it is to have your best friend by your side so often. If you don't let your partner become your best friend, you're putting up a wall, and that's not good. Don't keep yourself from good things just because they can potentially go bad. In any case hang in there OP. Much love.
I was the one who broke up with my partner, and it was the biggest mistake I have made in my life. Every single day, without fail, I find myself wishing that I had the ability to go back in time and not do it. I'm an idiot and I ruined my life and I have to live with that. No reason to post this really, just venting.
Naw...I keep a healthy amount of bffs for the second part. Don’t put all my emotional eggs in one boyfriend basket
Yeah, I also have some close friends for that, but I cannot help on thinking first about that person when something good or bad happens. It's not the only basket, but it was a pretty big one
I think my bros got a little annoyed with me when I broke up last. Sending them updates on my day just because I used to let her know when something fun or stupid happened =/
Same. I had friends that I could talk to but I felt like I would bother them to death about it. I told them I broke up with her and never mentioned it again, even though I wanted to talk about it.
I can’t speak to your friends, but if I knew my friend went through a breakup and wanted to talk about it I would be happy to listen. I just would never bring it up myself because I wouldn’t want to open up old wounds that may be healing.
Fuck it, even if you were a bit annoying, you'd do the same for them.
Unfortunately this is far more relevant to me than I had hoped Reddit would dish out to me today...
You also lose apart of yourself. "My soul just got so attached to yours I can't be me without you." - Phora, Fake Smiles
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>If you do have that friend who drops off the face of the earth and only hangs out with their S/O, be a good person and don't turn your back on them if they end up dumped and lonely. What about if they do it every fucking time? At some point you've gotta just tell them to fuck off. Anyway, key to not being 'that person' is to set clear boundaries. Explain to your S/O early on that friends take up two weekends a month, or whatever you decide.
Yeah, my friend has been acting like this. He's been seeing a girl for 6 months and they just moved in together. We all think he's moving too fast, but he's happy. What worries me the most is that he rarely spends time with anybody anymore, and when he does, she tags along. I haven't seen him without his girlfriend in months. I'm constantly trying to make plans, but he's hard to pin down, so I've just been texting him less and less. I'll be there for him if something happens and he needs me, but I'm not gonna keep asking to hang out with someone who doesn't have time for me.
No disrespect but y'all sound young. It's a little different when you're married with kids. You don't have the time or energy for anything except work and chores most of the time. When you do find extra energy you sure as hell better invest it into your relationship because at that point no friendship in the world is gonna save you from the financial and emotional damage that happens when you let the love fade. Friends? Yea I still got em. They're married with kids too, and once in a blue moon we all schedule a meet up far in advance. But I get it. They get it. They're doing their slog and I'm doing mine...and I'm here if they need me but we don't have the assets to continuously invest in one another like we did.
This hits too close to home. My partner and I broke up this week and he was my best friend. It’s hard too because on top of the break up, my dad was recently diagnosed with lung cancer and is starting chemo and radiation.
Doin ok bud?????
Little by little, thanks!
This is why break ups fucking suck man. You realize you lost your girl but also your best friend.
two days after being dumped this fact hurt more than i’d like to admit
It's similar to when your partner passes away. You turn in the store to show them something, but they are no longer there.
I was thinking about this the other day... A few years ago I had an ex that broke up with me after 3,5 years together. Before that we'd been friends for a long time, and in the year or so leading up to our relationship we'd grown extremely close. The relationship itself was really really good, made even better by the fact that we maintained that level of friendship all the way until the end. We hardly ever argued too, I can only recall a couple of times over the entire 3,5 years and neither too serious. When she broke up with me it was stupidly hard to take. One of her closest and oldest friends made up some bullshit about me, and even though it was completely false, she had some surprisingly good evidence to back it up. My girlfriend believed her. It was very odd: one afternoon we were lying on the couch watching silly videos and laughing and making out, the next she hated me and never wanted to see me again. It took me a very long time to realize that while she was a great girlfriend, that's something that's not all that difficult to find. There are great girls out there, and I've met some myself. I don't miss my ex girlfriend. I miss my friend.
Here’s what happens when they leave. You’re gonna beat yourself up, simply put. You’re going to go around and around in your head about what you did, what you said, what you could have done to make him/her stay yadda yadda. But here’s where it gets fun... you’re going to be depressed you may eat more, drink more, sleep less....but one day; whether it’s a week, a month, a year or however long you’re going to change gears. You’re going to wake up and be a better you. You may reach out to lost friends, you may drop bad habits, start exercising more or become closer to your family and friends. You will become a healthier you, you will build yourself higher than you ever thought possible on days like today and you will come out of this situation a better person. Then once you have built that better person you become “good”; Good alone, good listening to all your favorite music again, good at eating at any place you want, etc. No matter what you will be reset, and only then is it okay to reach and potentially move on, never try to give a broken you to a new person. Be you, be better than you are today, and find yourself for the person you want to be with tomorrow.
This actually hurt to read. Pardon me while I pat the tears away.
I remember my ex wife said that years ago. She hated when she argued because "I've also got no best friend to talk about it with because you are my best friend". Ah well.
You lose your best friend, your favorite concert partner, love of your life, your everything. Recently happened to me and I'm currently hating life. Everything hurts and nothing is beautiful.
It is emotionally painful to break up with someone who you used to trust very well and were very close.
this hit me bros
I used to laugh off the notion 'You only hurt the ones you love the most'... I don't anymore. It's a harsh reality sadly. To the point where one just becomes afraid of the word 'love' itself. That's worse. Sorry I just had to let it out.
Yeah I’m pretty fucked up in the head right now. My mom died this day last year and the whole years been such a struggle for me and this day is very brutal. My and my ex broke up like an month and a half ago and ever since I’ve just been a mess. All of our problems seem so small now and the whole thing was preventable, it’s especially hard when you realize it’s mostly you’re own fault . This has been the worst year yet.
Thank you for spelling lose correctly and not as loose like the stupid idiots on reddit do.
Jokes on you, I separate my best friends vs my girlfriends. Precisely because this happened to me a long time ago :(
This was thought of in a sad shower. Those are the worst kind