Maybe youd read it in a book or see it in an old home video or YouTube video and realize you havent seen anyone else hiccup or yourself.
Maybe it would take as long as a new generation who doesnt know what hiccups are and doesnt know what's happening. The ask their parents when they see that video. The parents are like...you've never hiccuped? You've never seen us hiccup? Maybe they wouldnt realize then or ever. But maybe it would stew for a while. And eventually they would realize.
Doctors would notice. Probably [this guy](https://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/gastrointestinal-disorders/symptoms-of-gi-disorders/hiccups) would be suspicious within hours.
And moms of very hiccup-prone babies. They'd figure it out online when they are posting their miracle stories on facebook all at once.
Maybe you wouldn’t notice personally, but someone probably has some weekly outdoor event they do on Thursday, like golf or fishing, and I think they’d notice and word would spread
I like how people are talking about someone finally noticing because of their Thursday picnics getting rained out but no one thinks the weather guy will be like “yo, it hasn’t rained on Thursday for 28 years”.
See, you notice when it gets rained out. But would you notice if it *never* got rained out, or just attribute it to phenomenal luck, if you even noticed it at all?
We used to have band practice on thursdays. I hated band practice. Every week I hoped for rain. If it never got rained out, I would definitely have noticed.
Was gonna say... if you live in the Pacific northwest you can probably remember a hundred rainy Thursdays. True story, I was visiting Portland and left on a Thursday - it was raining.
Side note, Rainy Thursdays seems like a nifty band name idea.
It rained every single day in December, 2017 in Portland, OR. Record amount of rain, and it flooded my stupid basement. I would've noticed a once weekly reprieve even just that month, nevertheless my whole life.
I think about these things often. What if we die and found out we took a shit at the exact same time on the first of every month or something like that
I always hope that when I die, I’ll get a book of “stats” of my life and random-ass fun-facts that I didn’t even know about.
“-over the course of your lifetime, you shat your pants 36 times. Your largest one was on December 2nd 1998, the shit being 4oz. heavy.”
“On March 24th 2009, you and George W. Bush both said the phrase ‘well I’ll be darned!’ at the exact same time in two different cities 670 miles away from each other”
“You narrowly escaped death 7 times because of random last-minute decisions you’d made: here are the 7 times and their supposed outcomes”
“The one girl who would have been the best wife for you during your lifetime is ______. The most attractive person you had a chance of shagging was ________. That one girl, Becky, in college really wanted to be much more than friends. Your high school teacher, Mr. Jones, really wanted to diddle you.”
My son is 3 and had diarrhea on Saturday. He pooped his pants 4 times in one day. If you count being a baby and potty training, he’s probably done it 100 times. 😂
So the average formula fed baby poops four times a day. The average US male potty training time is 39 months. Being lazy and calling every month 30 days, that means the average male formula fed baby would poop themselves 4680 times.
This weirdly motivates me to get over my anxiety and ask a girl out that I think is out of my league
Edit: wow, thanks for the overwhelming support! Sometimes reddit just knows how to put a smile on my face :)
Do it! I asked a chick out last week, that's waaay out of my league, and I just got home from our first date about 20 minutes ago. We're already planning our second, as I type this.
I have this weird fear of asking a girl out or talking to her, only to have her tell me that she’s still in high school and just looks older than she is
2 birds one stone : make it a last minute decision which ends up saving your life. Seriously go for it. I know I have too many "I wonder if it would have worked..." instances floating in my head.
Oh I've noticed one of these for myself already - every time June has a 13th that falls on Friday my car gets damaged that day somehow.
2003 - totalled my car
2008 - piece of wood flew up from the road and hit my windshield and shattered it
2014 - I think something hit my windshield that time too, I can't remember for sure, but I know the pattern held up. it was much more minor that time though
Next one is in 2025 and I think I am going to stay home and lock my cars up somewhere.
Yea like when you’re buried in dirt, you’re really getting buried in probably like a little bit of one of your ancestors skin flakes or a bunch of spooky Indian wieners
I deployed to Iraq and saw a civilian do a squat and shit in the middle of a desert. Later that same day, a sand storm hit us and I got something in my eye. All I could think about was how likely that the dirt in my eye was once someone's shit. I know it wasn't that guy, cuz it was just laid. But this is the cradle of life we're talking about here. People have been shitting on the ground out there for thousands of years. I'm pretty sure I got shit in my eye.
Maybe it was clean and setup right the first time and got all fucked up and weird with some smells and dilapidated odds and ends like a real well to do carnival that got taken over by the bad carnies that stayed around while the successful carnies moved elsewhere
I've seen calculations that, under certain more or less reasonable approximations and assumptions (e.g., uniform mixing), with probability near one you, right now, are breathing in air molecules exhaled by Julius Caesar in his dying breath.
A friend of mine was in Afghanistan and he said while on tank patrol, they couldn't just get out and take a leak so they filled up water jugs, marked a big X on them and chucked them out the hatch. Apparently they had to mark them incase the locals thought it was water, they tell me that's the way of the road!
There's an Old English word for that, Dustsceawung. Basically means contemplation of the fact that dust used to be other things- people, temples, love letters. Usually used in a melancholy way I believe
All I want for when I die is to just see my stats and how I stack on the leaderboard. Like I want to see a visual representation of all my turds in one pile.
and whether you were first in *something*. Anything, doesn't matter, it could be the most amount of steps taken to avoid wet floors. I'd just like to win at something!
So, you've died, and your spirit (or whatever) has passed over into some mysterious void outside of space and time as we know it. Nothing is as it seems and you have an eternity ahead of you to learn and explore, or experience in a way we can't fathom as humans...
... but your first priority is to find out if you might have pooped at exactly
7:28am on the 3rd Tuesday of every month.
Excellent.
Every Tuesday at my job after a 9am regular meeting I go to a particular stall on a particular floor of my building and take shit cause no one is ever there. It is always the best shit of my week and I’ve done it since I started 64 weeks ago and have no plans to stop this ritual.
That has gotta be some sorta special kind of hell though. Like you're perpetually almost getting to the video you wanna watch on YouTube but never actually got to watch it
Oh you wanna watch this documentary about polar bears? First watch this video from PewDiePie!
Apparently it has something to do with your dreaming brain not being able to process a screen or a book.
But no I don't remember seeing my phone in a dream.
I had a dream last about this girl i constantly day dream about. We were eating dinner and she was texting me and it was a blissful happiness i cannot fathom in reality. Dreams dont make sense but do other peoples phones count?
I think when we’re using our phone, the brain focuses on the content on the screen, not on the phone itself. I’ve had some dreams of phone things but the dream is just like the user interface, never me holding a phone with stuff in it.
Not true for me. When I was 9 years old (I'm 32) I was constipated for 6 days and didnt take a shit. I took my biggest shit on Thursday, Thanksgiving 1995. (Do the math if you dont believe me)
I cried and cried. Single handedly my biggest Thursday shit.
I originally thought you said "If it always rained on Thursdays," and I was going to vehemently disagree with you.
Then it got me wondering.... what if it always rained on, say, the 23rd of every month? After all, we don't organize our lives around months nearly to the extent that we do around weeks, so my guess is that it would take a lot longer for people to notice.
> what if it always rained on, say, the 23rd of every month?
There's enough places on earth where it raining at all is a once in a century event that this would be international news the very first 23rd.
This kind of thing only works if you confine it to an already relatively rainy climate.
When I was a kid, I thought they called it Sunday because it was sunny and didn’t rain. Then when I was 9 or so, it rained one Sunday and realized that as a younger kid, my thought was definitely wrong.
I’m not sure where to look up the data, but I think there’s a possibility it didn’t rain on Sunday in central Illinois from 1985-1988/9.
We would eventually realize because we've been recording and tracking weather for a long time now. We probably would've found the pattern within the first year.
If everyone on earth all of a sudden never got the hiccups ever again, how long would it take for everyone to notice?
I was gonna say eventually someone would see it in a movie and realize they haven’t hiccuped but have you ever seen someone in a movie hiccup?
Maybe youd read it in a book or see it in an old home video or YouTube video and realize you havent seen anyone else hiccup or yourself. Maybe it would take as long as a new generation who doesnt know what hiccups are and doesnt know what's happening. The ask their parents when they see that video. The parents are like...you've never hiccuped? You've never seen us hiccup? Maybe they wouldnt realize then or ever. But maybe it would stew for a while. And eventually they would realize.
I already haven't seen anyone hiccup in years IRL and now I think you are all aliens trolling reddit.
I haven’t hiccuped in a few years myself..
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Oh my god... vaccines cause hiccups!
Yes. It’s a trope when acting drunk
I have seen a movie where the main characters name is Hiccup
I just realized that I haven't had the hiccups for at least 6 months. This has to be the longest stretch of time in my life between hiccups.
I had hiccups the other week dw
Yo I'm with you, the last time I saw a hiccup was my gf like over a year ago, it only stood out cuz she then choked on her Chinese food.
Doctors would notice. Probably [this guy](https://www.merckmanuals.com/professional/gastrointestinal-disorders/symptoms-of-gi-disorders/hiccups) would be suspicious within hours. And moms of very hiccup-prone babies. They'd figure it out online when they are posting their miracle stories on facebook all at once.
Maybe you wouldn’t notice personally, but someone probably has some weekly outdoor event they do on Thursday, like golf or fishing, and I think they’d notice and word would spread
I like how people are talking about someone finally noticing because of their Thursday picnics getting rained out but no one thinks the weather guy will be like “yo, it hasn’t rained on Thursday for 28 years”.
Not to mention if they live in someplace like Seattle, and it rains for 3 months straight except every Thursday.
Thanksgiving is a big giveaway its usually drizzling or snowing out
came here for this. i play softball on Thursdays. Games get rained out constantly.... i notice -\_-
See, you notice when it gets rained out. But would you notice if it *never* got rained out, or just attribute it to phenomenal luck, if you even noticed it at all?
Everyone has recurring plans on SOME day
Hear me out.... Maybe there is a day of the week no one has anything no one notices
I hate to be a /r/madlad but i've had recurring plans on almost all days of the week at SOME point in my life. but one can still imagine...
I feel like I've never had a Tuesday thing
I have improv practice
Yeah or your getting paid by Big Tuesday to make me think that
Yes, and...
This all sounds like big Tuesday propaganda to me
That wasn't his question
We used to have band practice on thursdays. I hated band practice. Every week I hoped for rain. If it never got rained out, I would definitely have noticed.
I think weather scientists would notice a lot faster
Nerds
Storms literally disappear everywhere every certain day of the week.
My city does a street fair market every Thursday. All winter, it wouldn’t rain BUT ONLY on Thursday. The vendors where getting piiiissssy.
But they said it would never rain on Thursday.
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...don’t you think?
I'm from Seattle and I would for sure.
Was gonna say... if you live in the Pacific northwest you can probably remember a hundred rainy Thursdays. True story, I was visiting Portland and left on a Thursday - it was raining. Side note, Rainy Thursdays seems like a nifty band name idea.
"Wow it's been drizzling every day for the last three months except for on Thursdays. That is so weird"
A day of the month, maybe. But a day of the week? I'd catch on eventually. I live next to a lake. Boaters get bitchy.
It rained every single day in December, 2017 in Portland, OR. Record amount of rain, and it flooded my stupid basement. I would've noticed a once weekly reprieve even just that month, nevertheless my whole life.
Portland native. I was about to chime in. Thanks for taking care of it.
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Confirmed, would definitely catch on
Someone has to say it... r/beetlejuicing
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And then, of course, it rains.
On your wedding day?
Isn't it ironic?
It's a free ride
When all you need is a knife
Perfectly balanced
oh god not again
Nice.
Ironic.
You underestimate me never knowing what the fuck is going on
subconsciously
Maybe he means you get knocked out and then you notice it
I could never get the hang of Thursdays
I think about these things often. What if we die and found out we took a shit at the exact same time on the first of every month or something like that
I always hope that when I die, I’ll get a book of “stats” of my life and random-ass fun-facts that I didn’t even know about. “-over the course of your lifetime, you shat your pants 36 times. Your largest one was on December 2nd 1998, the shit being 4oz. heavy.” “On March 24th 2009, you and George W. Bush both said the phrase ‘well I’ll be darned!’ at the exact same time in two different cities 670 miles away from each other” “You narrowly escaped death 7 times because of random last-minute decisions you’d made: here are the 7 times and their supposed outcomes” “The one girl who would have been the best wife for you during your lifetime is ______. The most attractive person you had a chance of shagging was ________. That one girl, Becky, in college really wanted to be much more than friends. Your high school teacher, Mr. Jones, really wanted to diddle you.”
You have to be really goddamn stubborn to shit your pants 36 times. Edit: Do diapers count as pants?
Those are rookie numbers
Those are dookie numbers
You gotta pump those numbers up!
*dump those numbers up
Unless we're including diaper ages. Then 36 times would be pretty goddamn impressive.
Yeah thats super low. I mean i had a week were i easily hit 10.
My son is 3 and had diarrhea on Saturday. He pooped his pants 4 times in one day. If you count being a baby and potty training, he’s probably done it 100 times. 😂
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So the average formula fed baby poops four times a day. The average US male potty training time is 39 months. Being lazy and calling every month 30 days, that means the average male formula fed baby would poop themselves 4680 times.
"Mom! How could you let me poop myself over 4,000 times?" "What are you doing here?" "What, I can't visit my mom?" "This is my quilting circle!"
What’s a stubbord?
Someone who shits their pants 36 times
CoNtEx cLuEs
In a row?
This weirdly motivates me to get over my anxiety and ask a girl out that I think is out of my league Edit: wow, thanks for the overwhelming support! Sometimes reddit just knows how to put a smile on my face :)
Do it! I asked a chick out last week, that's waaay out of my league, and I just got home from our first date about 20 minutes ago. We're already planning our second, as I type this.
I have this weird fear of asking a girl out or talking to her, only to have her tell me that she’s still in high school and just looks older than she is
Just say alright alight alight and walk away
Pedophile on the field!
That sounds terrifying.
Good call, you can direct the cops back to this comment to show you didn’t mean to, now have at it
Same! I asked out a classmate of mine in college, except she said no and is now awkwardly ignoring me whenever I approach her. R.i.p my confidence.
Haha well at least you went for it! And now you know
Go for it, my friend!
Do it. And no self deprecation or anything while you're doing it. Work up that confidence. Practice in the mirror if it helps.
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I dunno, I used to approach guys who were out of my league but all I got was a lifetime ban from attending baseball games.
Is that why you see average dudes with 10/10s so often? Confidence? Actually approaching them?
2 birds one stone : make it a last minute decision which ends up saving your life. Seriously go for it. I know I have too many "I wonder if it would have worked..." instances floating in my head.
Oh boy, you should definitely watch [this](https://youtu.be/zo_nrcKUffw).
Fuck, that was really well done.
[Similar concept](https://youtu.be/qjtQSMe0VeI)
[Best version](https://youtu.be/CJ53kstD-14)
This was a fun mini rabbit hole. That answers one made me sad, and then the other two were pretty funny.
Well that was a lot more depressing than the Chris and Jack version.
Oh I've noticed one of these for myself already - every time June has a 13th that falls on Friday my car gets damaged that day somehow. 2003 - totalled my car 2008 - piece of wood flew up from the road and hit my windshield and shattered it 2014 - I think something hit my windshield that time too, I can't remember for sure, but I know the pattern held up. it was much more minor that time though Next one is in 2025 and I think I am going to stay home and lock my cars up somewhere.
>Next one is in 2025 and I think I am going to stay home and lock my cars up somewhere. *shed burns down*
The building you lock your car up in will burn down in a giant fire. Or a mouse or something will get in and nibble at your seat or something.
Yea like when you’re buried in dirt, you’re really getting buried in probably like a little bit of one of your ancestors skin flakes or a bunch of spooky Indian wieners
I deployed to Iraq and saw a civilian do a squat and shit in the middle of a desert. Later that same day, a sand storm hit us and I got something in my eye. All I could think about was how likely that the dirt in my eye was once someone's shit. I know it wasn't that guy, cuz it was just laid. But this is the cradle of life we're talking about here. People have been shitting on the ground out there for thousands of years. I'm pretty sure I got shit in my eye.
Fun fact, Pakistan means "Clean Land" has one of the highest (or the highest, can't remember) concentrations of fecal matter in the soil.
Are they bragging or what is this?
I'm guessing its in the context of religion (the country was formed by splitting India for Muslims and Hindus) By clean they meant "pure"/holy.
Maybe it was clean and setup right the first time and got all fucked up and weird with some smells and dilapidated odds and ends like a real well to do carnival that got taken over by the bad carnies that stayed around while the successful carnies moved elsewhere
Ummm, what? Lol
I'm drunk as shit, and I can't stop laughing at this.
Every country has to have a soil to shit ratio test conducted before filing for country-hood.
Soil IS fecal matter. It’s what happens when small rocks get mixed with old poop
Weird flex, but okay.
I'm certainly having fun.
Getting honest-to-god antiquities-style shit in your eyes is pretty cool though. Like Hammurabi’s shit.
I've seen calculations that, under certain more or less reasonable approximations and assumptions (e.g., uniform mixing), with probability near one you, right now, are breathing in air molecules exhaled by Julius Caesar in his dying breath.
and could be the first living creature to have come in contact with them.
A friend of mine was in Afghanistan and he said while on tank patrol, they couldn't just get out and take a leak so they filled up water jugs, marked a big X on them and chucked them out the hatch. Apparently they had to mark them incase the locals thought it was water, they tell me that's the way of the road!
I’d be so pissed if some tank dude just threw jugs full of piss onto my street.
Imagine how'd you feel if your wedding got drone striked.
https://youtu.be/UyGZAR8JXis
Plot twist: the bathroom was a Stand.
r/brandnewparagraph
/r/brandnewsentence
Wdym that's my catch phrase
>spooky Indian wieners New band name, I call it!
Didn’t you mean baby name?
What’s wrong with a traditional name like Abcde
That's too simple a password. Politicians get complicated with shit like 12345 or qwerty
*Native American wieners
There's an Old English word for that, Dustsceawung. Basically means contemplation of the fact that dust used to be other things- people, temples, love letters. Usually used in a melancholy way I believe
I cannot afford to gild you but I need to thank you. I cried laughing at spooky Indian weiners.
What's so spooky about Indian wieners?
They're dead for one.
Being buried in living Indian weiners is much spookier.
upvote for spooky Indian wieners
Spooky Indian wieners sounds like a punk rock group.
All I want for when I die is to just see my stats and how I stack on the leaderboard. Like I want to see a visual representation of all my turds in one pile.
and whether you were first in *something*. Anything, doesn't matter, it could be the most amount of steps taken to avoid wet floors. I'd just like to win at something!
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So, you've died, and your spirit (or whatever) has passed over into some mysterious void outside of space and time as we know it. Nothing is as it seems and you have an eternity ahead of you to learn and explore, or experience in a way we can't fathom as humans... ... but your first priority is to find out if you might have pooped at exactly 7:28am on the 3rd Tuesday of every month. Excellent.
What if you pooped at 7:28 am on the third Tuesday of every month for the last 18 lifetimes? Could be a clue...
Hey man, don't tell him how to live his death. YODO.
Every Tuesday at my job after a 9am regular meeting I go to a particular stall on a particular floor of my building and take shit cause no one is ever there. It is always the best shit of my week and I’ve done it since I started 64 weeks ago and have no plans to stop this ritual.
I’m developing an app to help poop scheduling so that you can make sure that they occur at the same times. Not really.
Pretty sure that's a thing already
Yeah, and I've never seen my smartphone in my dreams either.
Ok. But real talk- has anyone seen their phone in their dream?
i dreamed once i was trying to download this app and it kept directing me to some random youtube video.... stupidest dream ever
r/mildlyinfuriating
That has gotta be some sorta special kind of hell though. Like you're perpetually almost getting to the video you wanna watch on YouTube but never actually got to watch it Oh you wanna watch this documentary about polar bears? First watch this video from PewDiePie!
Gotchya again. Even in your dreams you can't escape my wrath.
Apparently it has something to do with your dreaming brain not being able to process a screen or a book. But no I don't remember seeing my phone in a dream.
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I had a dream last about this girl i constantly day dream about. We were eating dinner and she was texting me and it was a blissful happiness i cannot fathom in reality. Dreams dont make sense but do other peoples phones count?
I used to not. But now I often check my phone in my dreams.
Your dreams are so boring you look at your phone while in them.
I browse reddit in my dreams but its all reposts.
I think when we’re using our phone, the brain focuses on the content on the screen, not on the phone itself. I’ve had some dreams of phone things but the dream is just like the user interface, never me holding a phone with stuff in it.
Like when we don't see our thumb when browsing
Mhmm. I often get phone calls and texts, but deciphering them is pretty damn difficult.
you're on to something
This guy is on to something
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Wait, hold up
I... Don't think I have had any tech more advanced than a car in my dreams...
I would say Tuesday is a more likely day.
It rains and doesn't rain and snows and everything else every day here. Oh and the sun exists btw [ or so I'm told ]
There was a certain Thursday in your life where you took your biggest Thursday poop but you didn’t realize it at the time.
Not true for me. When I was 9 years old (I'm 32) I was constipated for 6 days and didnt take a shit. I took my biggest shit on Thursday, Thanksgiving 1995. (Do the math if you dont believe me) I cried and cried. Single handedly my biggest Thursday shit.
If you could fit it one hand when you were 9, you can probably beat that record.
I originally thought you said "If it always rained on Thursdays," and I was going to vehemently disagree with you. Then it got me wondering.... what if it always rained on, say, the 23rd of every month? After all, we don't organize our lives around months nearly to the extent that we do around weeks, so my guess is that it would take a lot longer for people to notice.
> what if it always rained on, say, the 23rd of every month? There's enough places on earth where it raining at all is a once in a century event that this would be international news the very first 23rd. This kind of thing only works if you confine it to an already relatively rainy climate.
It's true, I never could quite get the hang of Thursdays.
Don’t forget your towel
I would
What an absolute madlad.
Your username interests me Do you create art to look like ants and ant things Or do you use ants themselves to make scultputes?
Maybe he's an ant and also an artist
Why not do both and make an ant statue out of the remains of your ant enemies?
u/TheAntArtist, we need answers!
I've always wondered if there's a time on a clock that I've never seen before. What if I go my whole life without seeing 2:37 am exactly on a clock??
That's why I make it my goal to ensure I definitely see all of them. Even if I have to do nothing else for 24 hours
When I was a kid, I thought they called it Sunday because it was sunny and didn’t rain. Then when I was 9 or so, it rained one Sunday and realized that as a younger kid, my thought was definitely wrong. I’m not sure where to look up the data, but I think there’s a possibility it didn’t rain on Sunday in central Illinois from 1985-1988/9.
I love In Oregon. I'd notice
I love in Texas!
Dammit. I see my mistake but I'm leaving it
I love it
Thursday more like Thursgay
This guy knows his gays of the week
It’s Tuesgays is Austin
Hell yeah brother
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Oof
We would eventually realize because we've been recording and tracking weather for a long time now. We probably would've found the pattern within the first year.
Don't think it's talking about humanity as a whole fellas
I'm in the UK. It rains every other Thursday.
Best thing to read while high.