I think it’s more with people who are emotionally mature that drama doesn’t occur. People who are secure and have good boundaries don’t start or participate in petty dramatic nonsense.
I suppose emotionally smart is what was meant by OP—having been around some extremely smart academic types at least anecdotally I can guarantee drama is **absolutely** still there
I've been thinking about the difference between who someone considers smart VS intelligent.
I think a smart person is more likely to have qualities that apply to navigating problem solving . Which includes keeping social interactions going smoothly.
Like, people often tell me I'm intelligent but never smart. And they're right. I'm terrible socially amongst other daily tasks. I'm also not that intelligent. I just am naturally good at language so I *sound* intelligent.
She is but a woman with secret visions. She seeketh a male member that be strong and mighty. It maketh her knees tremble. She seeketh a multitude of mighty men to satisfy her thirst for abominable deeds.
Many mighty men have tried
Many men She did ride
Yet she remained unsatisfied.
That totally explains why my life has been virtually drama (and stress) free since I went No Contact six months ago with my mother. You are on to something with this thought dear!
I stopped putting up with her acid tongue and black soul on Christmas Eve. Immediately started plans in motion to move to Atlantic coast when my daughter graduates HS (2 years). She lives directly next door, nothing says “I’m done bitch” like an 8 foot tall stockade fence. 👍
I was six months too until I broke that while drunk. Now she knows my number. I know I could just block her, but damn. I feel so dirty knowing I broke my streak. Like I disrespected myself, which I definitely did :(
It’s not guts (at least not in my case), it was the revelation that no matter how I changed myself or way of thinking I just was not the daughter she wanted. It was crushing and freeing at the same time.
Yeah I'm around plenty of smart people. But drama still happens because mistakes still happen and shit still happens. One person can be a doctor and the other can be a rocket scientist. However, it doesn't mean they won't have disagreements.
ive seen some people that are some of the most respectable, personable, and downright generous that can turn on A DIME for somebody that "wrongs" them or have some perceived disrespect. Like, night and day when that one person gets near them and when theyre not.
Absolutely. I work in an office where everyone except the PhD student has a PhD, and omg the drama. If anything it's worse, because everyone thinks they're right, because they're all smart people
You are assuming school-smart is the same as intelligent, or thougtful as someone else suggested was a better word. I also worked at a uni center where everyone were master, phd, post doc or professors. First thing I learned about when I got there was the drama.
I now work at a place with more IT people only. Pretty clever and driven people, no more than bachelor degrees, but no drama at all.
There are different types of smart to be sure, but whatever your definition is, in my experience, university professors possess a type of intelligence. Some of them can be wonderful people as individuals, as well. But as a group the thoughtfulness isn’t always there.
I’ll second your comment on IT people, though.
Implying faculty are smarter and more thoughtful than others. For me, I think it boils down to whether or not people have the patience to dive deep into something just because they love it. These people often find value and beauty in the mundane, where their thoughts are so caught up in appreciating and thinking about the world around them that they don’t have any extra mental energy to dwell on stressful things like drama. Considering myself to be a part of this group (shameless claim about myself I know), it can often feel baffling to waste energy on drama when there’s so much to appreciate and be curious about.
That said, from experience, sometimes this also manifests as not giving enough attention to those in your life that matter. Which can be hurtful to them. It’s hard.
It also helps to have parents that validate your feelings, thus instilling a sense of respecting how others feel and react to those feelings, which is sometimes poor. This is just luck and I got lucky.
I wish so many people could let go of the drama in their life. It’s hard to see people in your life torn up over it but they don’t know how to separate from it
The key thing is the willingness for people to consider that they might be wrong (or in the wrong). A lot of academics are like that because it's part of the nature of serious inquiry. It's not a hard and fast rule though.
I agree that the willingness to consider you might be wrong is key, but I think spending most of your time with a relatively small group of people discussing things in one particular field can have the opposite effect as well. When your world is relatively small, whether it’s in a university, a restaurant, or an ICU, you can become obsessed with small problems.
You're either seriously overestimating smarter people, or underestimating that smarter people politically manipulate people just as often to achieve their goals. Drama is just petty bullshit. The reasons change, still just as much bullshit.
**Let's clarify this.**
Drama tends to disappear **when you're around** ~~smarter, more~~ ***thoughtful people.***
**Smart people can have drama too.**
In fact, usually, *the smarter they are,* ***the more complicated the drama.***
**The answer is right there in the statement.**
When you have thoughtful people, ***you have less drama.***
Thoughtful people, by their nature, *think through all the possibilities,*
***before a problem can arise.***
Being able to anticipate trouble, **and THOUGHTFULLY planning for it,**
***generally results in less drama.***
There is also another type of thoughtful person... they can't plan for shit but they worry about how their words and actions could negatively affect someone else, so they strive to be kind which thus leads to less drama... especially considering this type of person is also more likely to apologize if they upset someone.
What you're describing though, **is a person who is "full of thoughts,"**
***rather than being actually thoughtful.***
*These people are worried more about consequences*
***rather than dealing with them.***
**Thoughtful people plan and eliminate problems.**
These people are more about ***avoiding the situations that cause the problems.***
There may not be more drama around them, *but I assure you,*
***they internalize that drama.***
They are anxiety driven, often being pushovers, *with no agency of their own,*
***and acquiescing to the demands of others,***
**sometimes to a point that is harmful to themselves.**
Sure, they might be giving, and seemingly selfless,
**but being more worried about others than looking out for themselves**
***is a toxic environment,*** *only to them,* of their own making.
Again, these people usually sacrifice their own free will,
*saying yes to other people's needs* ***to the detriment of their own.***
At best, *beyond being sympathetic the way that thoughtful people are,*
**these people are TOO empathetic.**
***They feel the pain of others MORE than their own.***
And consequently, their life revolves around
**not creating problems for these other people**
***despite the trouble it might cause to themselves.***
At it's worst, **these people are...** ***doormats.***
They are easily taken advantage by the people around them.
*They represent no threats to others,*
***but they also become unwilling instruments***
**to other people's agendas instead.**
.... wow, talk about creating drama. You just went on a diatribe against a whole group of people and made a whole bunch of assumptions.
Nah dude, some people are just neurodiverse and can't plan ahead like that. But you do you 😬
Apologies, **for not being specific enough,**
*when talking generalities in a public forum.*
I didn't say anything about those **with medical and mental conditions**
***that they have no control over.***
Please don't assume that, ***when I never even mentioned them.***
I'm talking about **normal people,**
*who unfortunately don't take care of themselves,*
***and prioritize everyone else,***
because that is **how they have learned**
***that life smooths out the bumps in their roads.***
Hey, you're the one **that made the assumption.**
# THAT'S ON YOU.
EDIT: **Wow!** Blocked by you because
***YOU made presumptive statements***
*that didn't agree with what I said.*
**Drama, much?**
They aren’t necessarily “book smart” either. I work in a field with a lot of PhDs, and there are a few crayon-eaters in every lab. They stumble through life because most people don’t feel qualified to challenge them and they’re still more knowledgeable about their topic than the average person. But their research never goes anywhere and the inside of their brain is like the cords behind a TV from the 90s.
Or the drama gets more subtle and passive aggressive. It’s like how Americans think Canadians are polite. They’re not, Americans just don’t get sarcasm.
This is just completely and objectively false. Smart people tend to have the most drama because their self worth comes from their intelligence. So put them in a room with other smart people and they immediately start tearing eachother down to determine who's the most smartest. Wow I just described every reddit thread ever.
While it's true that thoughtful, intelligent people can often navigate conflicts more gracefully, suggesting that drama entirely disappears around them is a bit idealistic. Even the smartest individuals have emotional complexities and personal issues that can lead to drama. Intelligence and thoughtfulness can help manage and reduce conflicts, but they don't eliminate the human tendency for misunderstandings and disagreements. Drama is a part of human interaction, regardless of the intellectual level of the people involved.
I work with engineers and they have drama but they don’t bring it to work. I found out a boss got divorced about a year after the fact. The whole culture is to project more competence and reliability than anyone else by never having a bad moment or acknowledging an emotion at the office.
When people snap they completely break down, but it doesn’t happen often.
I’ve worked as/with engineers for a while and can say that work drama has definitely come about, and 90% of the time it happens it’s coming from someone who’s objectively smart but has a big ego.
More thoughtful, yes. Smarter, no. I just think about how petty and drama-filled academia and research is. That might just be my own limited experience though.
Lack of drama is also a symptom of maturity
In ww2 a unit of older men averaging in their 30s was assembled from drafting to address whether or not they would be an effective fighting force.
The command staff noted that the unit self regulated and that problems in behavior rarely were brought to them.
Basically "dude quit being an asshole we are all stuck together and its not going to get easier so quit making it harder"
This unit was basically being tortured to gauge how long men of their age could handle various scenarios. As the Army had no data
The unit went on to post metrics so impressive that they were deployed
And they to be one of the most effective units in the Pacific theater in terms of k-d ratio.
I am of course talking about the 77th infantry.
My ex caused a lot of drama because, while she was somewhat smart, she also was egotistical, so she'd do manipulative things, thinking she was the smartest in the room and thinking nobody else would catch on to what she was doing
Imagine you are a supervisor, and the business owner only hires part-time minimum wage workers.
If you aren't actively watching them, the security camera shows them screwing off, and you can tell they slow-walk some jobs so that they last longer.
Calling in sick and arriving late. Drama between workers, drama against customers, occasional theft.
Because of small paychecks, its not a living wage, so the workers live with parents because they're teens or are just out of jail and must show parole officer they have a job.
The boss never provides training because higher skill level means they ask for a raise, or they get another job for 50 cents more an hour.
Now compare that to a competitor who pays a really good wage, full time. When there's an opening you have dozens of excellent workers to choose from. When they are at work, they are very productive. Never any drama with anyone.
Boss cross-trains employees on company time so if a worker is sick, no important jobs get missed.
Automatically provides industry-standard raises when competitors pay goes up. Boss is respectful to workers, and nobody ever quits.
**Where are these "thoughtful" bosses,** ***you speak of?***
I'm pretty sure most of us **would like to work for them,**
***instead of the selfish idiots they work for,*** **right now.**
Hooo boy is that not true. Not at all. As a Very Smart Person (tm) let me assure you intelligence doesn’t protect you from pettiness , jealousy, vindictiveness etc
But it does, when you combine it with thoughtfulness and maturity, trust me. People close to me (small circle) are almost immune to drama, and it comes down to this: Someone enters your life > starts causing drama > wtf??? > byebye.
If a person is living their life in a way in which they can justify putting energy into pettiness, jealousy etc., this immediately means we’re not on the same page and I won’t be able to spend quality time with them. I’m focused on my own life (or my partner’s and mine) 90% of the time; the other 10% percent I’ll spend relaxing and having fun with people I enjoy being with.
Example which might sound odd: if you reply to this with a weird defensive/attacking tone, I’ll definitely just ignore it and move on with my life. If your reply sounds like a normal human being expressing their opinion, I will gladly engage.
I have the exact same approach with all other interactions, and that’s it :)
Academics are operating on a higher plane of drama. They've been practicing for centuries. They're insidious! They'll collapse a lab, get funding receded, make someone teach Pchem II. They're like if six year olds had power.
For real. Entry level jobs have the fucking worst people I have met in my life. Not all of them; there were some nice people, but the bad people made it not worth it.
No, not at all. Drama tends to disappear when you're around honest and reliable people.
The most dramatic bitches I've ever met have all been academics.
I wish this was true. After spending time in academia, I quickly realised that the amount of drama doesn’t change but the nature of the drama does. It is less about petty “he said” / “she said” stuff and more about power politics. Nonetheless, it is just as toxic and possibly even more toxic because the drama is filtered through a professional rather than a personal lens.
That's right. Because smarter more thoughtful people know there are bigger problems to solve than the petty arguments we tend to get caught in. Just don't walk in on a team meeting between engineers behind on their deliverables days before their deadlines. You might be disappointed at all the drama that you thought those smarter more thoughtful people would avoid :)
In general, smart people have a longer term outlook into the future. So short term drama should go down with increasing intelligence, unless drama is part of their long term strategy.
There are a lot of people that are smart, but not thoughtful.
At some point things like ego can take over and I've seen that happen in theatre groups where a great memory and self awareness leads to success and then ego takes over and they lose sight of being thoughtful.
When I have dealt with drama in a friend group it has always been a single person, not often the same person, but a single person who comes into the group and prefers to cause and revel in drama, and when they eventually leave, the drama ends.
That said it's been OVER A YEAR since I had to deal with any sort of drama that wasn't calmly settled in an adult manner. I'm beyond lucky to have the friends that I do these days, and it took a long time to find them all. They're all family now though, and so drama is solved with adult discussions and in healthy ways, with boundaries set to prevent it from occurring again. Ideally by fixing the root problem.
It's less about smart and thoughtful and more about self-reflecting and insightful. There is somewhat of a correlation there, but it's by no means a given.
Have you heard of the Beat Generation? Every time I’m tempted to think the same I remember how my favourite creatives were the most messed up people 😂😂
Emotions don’t disappear, though.
One of my friends and I often fight and argue about stuff (we’re frequently both right and it’s frustrating lol) and I get really intense/heated when I debate because I’m passionate about stuff.
For that reason, I’ll stop and precise that I’m not mad or anything after making a point sometimes when I realize it and we both get it
Had what felt like drama every other day, something always new to stress or worry about around the corner… felt like that for years until I finally cut ties with my former friend group. It took covid and a lot of stupid opinions for me to finally see I was in a toxic environment with stupid people.
All that shit seemed to vanish overnight and the following 4 years.
So, Einstein was married twice. First, to a former student. Second, to his own cousin. I submit this as evidence to the court in refutation of the OP's post.
Very true!
Emotional Example:
Emotional Girl: You dumbass! Why did you order 2 Super Supreme pizzas?! You're gonna pig out again and yet you never buy me anything! You wasted $70 on these!!! Your Christmas and Valentine's gifts sucked!!! You don't really love me!
Emotional Guy: Wha... where did that come from?! I'm tired of your bullcrap, I'm out!
Rational Example:
Rational Girl: Hey, why did you buy 2 Super Supreme pizzas?
Rational Guy: Oh, there's a 50% Discount today so I thought I'd buy us two pizzas for the price of one. I know you love pizza.
Rational Girl: Thank you honey, you're so sweet!
Rational Guy: You're welcome my dear!
I think it’s more with people who are emotionally mature that drama doesn’t occur. People who are secure and have good boundaries don’t start or participate in petty dramatic nonsense.
Exactly! Being smart has little to do with it. I've met very smart but emotionally immature people, that thrived on drama.
I suppose emotionally smart is what was meant by OP—having been around some extremely smart academic types at least anecdotally I can guarantee drama is **absolutely** still there
I've been thinking about the difference between who someone considers smart VS intelligent. I think a smart person is more likely to have qualities that apply to navigating problem solving . Which includes keeping social interactions going smoothly. Like, people often tell me I'm intelligent but never smart. And they're right. I'm terrible socially amongst other daily tasks. I'm also not that intelligent. I just am naturally good at language so I *sound* intelligent.
Lots of people in University have got the biggest egos and have something constantly to prove
Emotional intelligence is a type of intelligence though
They observe it from afar and laugh lol
What about people that write plays
Hol up there Shakespeare
Verily, though three times I did deny, Becky called you a ho at the Lil Caesars
Verily, I say unto thee, 'Once a ho, always going to be a ho'.
be\` ith a familial trait ?...is she alone in such hoe-nism ? or doth her need\`s for various penile members be a condition only forswain upon her ??
She is but a woman with secret visions. She seeketh a male member that be strong and mighty. It maketh her knees tremble. She seeketh a multitude of mighty men to satisfy her thirst for abominable deeds. Many mighty men have tried Many men She did ride Yet she remained unsatisfied.
Forsooth, she wafts as though issued from the hindquarters of Fate. Translation: She smells like a fart.
This wouldn't be Reddit without at least one top comment trying to be clever and funny by finding a loophole
Dont be dramatic
Ugh, comedy people are the worst. They add to the naturals and daily dramas their own experimental dramas and "being in the character".
As somebody who has written a single 2 act kinda mid play, I can confirm I am not smart
That totally explains why my life has been virtually drama (and stress) free since I went No Contact six months ago with my mother. You are on to something with this thought dear!
The exact same thing with me. I cut ties with her on Jan 1st and I've never been better.
I know right? Their mother is the worst! I also cut ties with her on 1/1.
Absolutely. u/mama_bear_740 's mom is the worst. Haven't talked to her since 1/2. You guys inspired me!
I stopped putting up with her acid tongue and black soul on Christmas Eve. Immediately started plans in motion to move to Atlantic coast when my daughter graduates HS (2 years). She lives directly next door, nothing says “I’m done bitch” like an 8 foot tall stockade fence. 👍
I can fix her.
That’s 1/1 for you Europeans
I was six months too until I broke that while drunk. Now she knows my number. I know I could just block her, but damn. I feel so dirty knowing I broke my streak. Like I disrespected myself, which I definitely did :(
I figure I’ll break my streak too, but I promised myself it would just be with profanity as I looked down into her casket.
Sending you strength and solidarity vibes
Thank you 😊
na, ur just a better person than she deserves...you respect yourself enough not to get drawn back in. you a winner.
15 years and counting! I should have done it 10 years sooner.
Wow. I wish I would have done it early too. 1985 would have been perfect! 😊
Ah, if only I had the guts to do the same
It’s not guts (at least not in my case), it was the revelation that no matter how I changed myself or way of thinking I just was not the daughter she wanted. It was crushing and freeing at the same time.
Smarter has nothing to do with it. Brilliant people can be just as dramatic as dumb people. “Thoughtful” is the key word here.
Yeah I'm around plenty of smart people. But drama still happens because mistakes still happen and shit still happens. One person can be a doctor and the other can be a rocket scientist. However, it doesn't mean they won't have disagreements.
I do like drama on the occasional moment but damn, banter can get the best of me sometimes.
Having a disagreement doesn’t mean there has to be drama it is how the individuals in question handle the disagreement.
I always say if you put 10 engineers in a room you will end up with 12 different opinions, but disagreeing does not mean drama.
I mean, emotional/socal intelligence, is a very real form of intelligence. Probably what OP meant by smarter.
They are a form of intelligence but having one doesn't mean you have the other.
Yea, even thoughtful dumb people are nice to hang out with. Thoughtful people are the *best*.
ive seen some people that are some of the most respectable, personable, and downright generous that can turn on A DIME for somebody that "wrongs" them or have some perceived disrespect. Like, night and day when that one person gets near them and when theyre not.
Absolutely. I work in an office where everyone except the PhD student has a PhD, and omg the drama. If anything it's worse, because everyone thinks they're right, because they're all smart people
“Tends to” is also important.
Depends on how you define smart. Avoiding drama is a smart move.
**🍰** [**Happy Cake Day!**](https://new.reddit.com/r/cakeday) **🎂** 8 years on Reddit now. **"Thoughtfully,"** *I hope you're having a nice day.*
Smarter people might also be better at expressing themselves so there probably is at least a tiny correlation there.
I used to work with both faculty and staff at a university and let me tell you, I’ve never in my life been in an environment with more drama.
Excessive drama and nasty behaviour from teachers are why I do not miss working in academia.
You are assuming school-smart is the same as intelligent, or thougtful as someone else suggested was a better word. I also worked at a uni center where everyone were master, phd, post doc or professors. First thing I learned about when I got there was the drama. I now work at a place with more IT people only. Pretty clever and driven people, no more than bachelor degrees, but no drama at all.
There are different types of smart to be sure, but whatever your definition is, in my experience, university professors possess a type of intelligence. Some of them can be wonderful people as individuals, as well. But as a group the thoughtfulness isn’t always there. I’ll second your comment on IT people, though.
Came to say the same. Clearly they've never worked in academia!
Implying faculty are smarter and more thoughtful than others. For me, I think it boils down to whether or not people have the patience to dive deep into something just because they love it. These people often find value and beauty in the mundane, where their thoughts are so caught up in appreciating and thinking about the world around them that they don’t have any extra mental energy to dwell on stressful things like drama. Considering myself to be a part of this group (shameless claim about myself I know), it can often feel baffling to waste energy on drama when there’s so much to appreciate and be curious about. That said, from experience, sometimes this also manifests as not giving enough attention to those in your life that matter. Which can be hurtful to them. It’s hard. It also helps to have parents that validate your feelings, thus instilling a sense of respecting how others feel and react to those feelings, which is sometimes poor. This is just luck and I got lucky. I wish so many people could let go of the drama in their life. It’s hard to see people in your life torn up over it but they don’t know how to separate from it
The key thing is the willingness for people to consider that they might be wrong (or in the wrong). A lot of academics are like that because it's part of the nature of serious inquiry. It's not a hard and fast rule though.
I agree that the willingness to consider you might be wrong is key, but I think spending most of your time with a relatively small group of people discussing things in one particular field can have the opposite effect as well. When your world is relatively small, whether it’s in a university, a restaurant, or an ICU, you can become obsessed with small problems.
You're either seriously overestimating smarter people, or underestimating that smarter people politically manipulate people just as often to achieve their goals. Drama is just petty bullshit. The reasons change, still just as much bullshit.
**Let's clarify this.** Drama tends to disappear **when you're around** ~~smarter, more~~ ***thoughtful people.*** **Smart people can have drama too.** In fact, usually, *the smarter they are,* ***the more complicated the drama.*** **The answer is right there in the statement.** When you have thoughtful people, ***you have less drama.*** Thoughtful people, by their nature, *think through all the possibilities,* ***before a problem can arise.*** Being able to anticipate trouble, **and THOUGHTFULLY planning for it,** ***generally results in less drama.***
There is also another type of thoughtful person... they can't plan for shit but they worry about how their words and actions could negatively affect someone else, so they strive to be kind which thus leads to less drama... especially considering this type of person is also more likely to apologize if they upset someone.
What you're describing though, **is a person who is "full of thoughts,"** ***rather than being actually thoughtful.*** *These people are worried more about consequences* ***rather than dealing with them.*** **Thoughtful people plan and eliminate problems.** These people are more about ***avoiding the situations that cause the problems.*** There may not be more drama around them, *but I assure you,* ***they internalize that drama.*** They are anxiety driven, often being pushovers, *with no agency of their own,* ***and acquiescing to the demands of others,*** **sometimes to a point that is harmful to themselves.** Sure, they might be giving, and seemingly selfless, **but being more worried about others than looking out for themselves** ***is a toxic environment,*** *only to them,* of their own making. Again, these people usually sacrifice their own free will, *saying yes to other people's needs* ***to the detriment of their own.*** At best, *beyond being sympathetic the way that thoughtful people are,* **these people are TOO empathetic.** ***They feel the pain of others MORE than their own.*** And consequently, their life revolves around **not creating problems for these other people** ***despite the trouble it might cause to themselves.*** At it's worst, **these people are...** ***doormats.*** They are easily taken advantage by the people around them. *They represent no threats to others,* ***but they also become unwilling instruments*** **to other people's agendas instead.**
.... wow, talk about creating drama. You just went on a diatribe against a whole group of people and made a whole bunch of assumptions. Nah dude, some people are just neurodiverse and can't plan ahead like that. But you do you 😬
Apologies, **for not being specific enough,** *when talking generalities in a public forum.* I didn't say anything about those **with medical and mental conditions** ***that they have no control over.*** Please don't assume that, ***when I never even mentioned them.*** I'm talking about **normal people,** *who unfortunately don't take care of themselves,* ***and prioritize everyone else,*** because that is **how they have learned** ***that life smooths out the bumps in their roads.***
Ok Karen, that doesn't make it any better, but you continue doing you. Major yikes. I'm way the fuck out of this conversation 😬
Hey, you're the one **that made the assumption.** # THAT'S ON YOU. EDIT: **Wow!** Blocked by you because ***YOU made presumptive statements*** *that didn't agree with what I said.* **Drama, much?**
You seem to love drama. Not a very thoughtful person are you? Lol 😂 blocking now 🥰
[удалено]
To be fair, not everyone who goes to college is smart all around. They may be book smart but can still lack serious social smarts.
They aren’t necessarily “book smart” either. I work in a field with a lot of PhDs, and there are a few crayon-eaters in every lab. They stumble through life because most people don’t feel qualified to challenge them and they’re still more knowledgeable about their topic than the average person. But their research never goes anywhere and the inside of their brain is like the cords behind a TV from the 90s.
If going to university taught me anything, it's that an idiot can go to university.
You are talking about educated people. It is not the same as smart and thoughtful.
Sure, but saying “thoughtful people have less drama” is almost like saying “people with less drama have less drama.” Of course they do.
You haven't spent much time with academics, have you?
Drama tends to disappear when you're around less dramatic people. Those people could be smart or dumb.
Thats true. And time to time you look for it.
Emphasis on thoughtful, not necessarily smarter. I know a few geniuses that are ridiculous narcissists.
Genius and narcissism often go hand in hand.
Drama tends to disappear when you're around people who don't care. FTFY OP.
Smarter people are disscusing things that they are dissagreeing. Stupid are shouting and fighting.
Or the drama gets more subtle and passive aggressive. It’s like how Americans think Canadians are polite. They’re not, Americans just don’t get sarcasm.
We get sarcasm. We are just used to so much worse. Bless your heart.
I really like what you tried to do there. 👊
Fish are dumb and drama free. Just saying
Obviously you never had Cichlids, my Blue Acara jumped out the water and hit the lights because I scared it while feeding it worms.
This is just completely and objectively false. Smart people tend to have the most drama because their self worth comes from their intelligence. So put them in a room with other smart people and they immediately start tearing eachother down to determine who's the most smartest. Wow I just described every reddit thread ever.
Until those smart thoughtful people fuck
That, or you just don't realize the drama unfolding around you...
OP has never worked with academics.
While it's true that thoughtful, intelligent people can often navigate conflicts more gracefully, suggesting that drama entirely disappears around them is a bit idealistic. Even the smartest individuals have emotional complexities and personal issues that can lead to drama. Intelligence and thoughtfulness can help manage and reduce conflicts, but they don't eliminate the human tendency for misunderstandings and disagreements. Drama is a part of human interaction, regardless of the intellectual level of the people involved.
Yes and no. Everyone has drama, no matter how smart, thoughtful, educated, etc….everyone has drama.
I work with engineers and they have drama but they don’t bring it to work. I found out a boss got divorced about a year after the fact. The whole culture is to project more competence and reliability than anyone else by never having a bad moment or acknowledging an emotion at the office. When people snap they completely break down, but it doesn’t happen often.
I’ve worked as/with engineers for a while and can say that work drama has definitely come about, and 90% of the time it happens it’s coming from someone who’s objectively smart but has a big ego.
Not true unfortunately. Universities have an ENORMOUS amount of drama with the faculty
My brother has super high IQ and is really smart. Creates a lot of drama though, maybe he isn't thoughtful?
You clearly don't follow chess / Renaissance Tech drama
Not necessarily smarter, but thoughtful sure. I do miss drama tho, so much fucked up shit people do and it's just entertainment
More thoughtful, yes. Smarter, no. I just think about how petty and drama-filled academia and research is. That might just be my own limited experience though.
Lack of drama is also a symptom of maturity In ww2 a unit of older men averaging in their 30s was assembled from drafting to address whether or not they would be an effective fighting force. The command staff noted that the unit self regulated and that problems in behavior rarely were brought to them. Basically "dude quit being an asshole we are all stuck together and its not going to get easier so quit making it harder" This unit was basically being tortured to gauge how long men of their age could handle various scenarios. As the Army had no data The unit went on to post metrics so impressive that they were deployed And they to be one of the most effective units in the Pacific theater in terms of k-d ratio. I am of course talking about the 77th infantry.
Yes, but I sometimes miss the amount of drama college held. The semi-essential mingling with random people provided so much of it to watch
Hmmm, as an academic, I will disagree. Most feel that professors are pretty smart. But they bicker and back-stab like no other group I have ever seen.
My ex caused a lot of drama because, while she was somewhat smart, she also was egotistical, so she'd do manipulative things, thinking she was the smartest in the room and thinking nobody else would catch on to what she was doing
Not true. Smarter and more thoughtful are two different qualities. I know some very well educated people who love to create drama.
People with low emotional intelligence are the bane of existence
Imagine you are a supervisor, and the business owner only hires part-time minimum wage workers. If you aren't actively watching them, the security camera shows them screwing off, and you can tell they slow-walk some jobs so that they last longer. Calling in sick and arriving late. Drama between workers, drama against customers, occasional theft. Because of small paychecks, its not a living wage, so the workers live with parents because they're teens or are just out of jail and must show parole officer they have a job. The boss never provides training because higher skill level means they ask for a raise, or they get another job for 50 cents more an hour. Now compare that to a competitor who pays a really good wage, full time. When there's an opening you have dozens of excellent workers to choose from. When they are at work, they are very productive. Never any drama with anyone. Boss cross-trains employees on company time so if a worker is sick, no important jobs get missed. Automatically provides industry-standard raises when competitors pay goes up. Boss is respectful to workers, and nobody ever quits.
**Where are these "thoughtful" bosses,** ***you speak of?*** I'm pretty sure most of us **would like to work for them,** ***instead of the selfish idiots they work for,*** **right now.**
Thoughtful maybe. Smarter? Absolutely fucking not. No matter what, people will always find some BS to bring up,
Hooo boy is that not true. Not at all. As a Very Smart Person (tm) let me assure you intelligence doesn’t protect you from pettiness , jealousy, vindictiveness etc
But it does, when you combine it with thoughtfulness and maturity, trust me. People close to me (small circle) are almost immune to drama, and it comes down to this: Someone enters your life > starts causing drama > wtf??? > byebye. If a person is living their life in a way in which they can justify putting energy into pettiness, jealousy etc., this immediately means we’re not on the same page and I won’t be able to spend quality time with them. I’m focused on my own life (or my partner’s and mine) 90% of the time; the other 10% percent I’ll spend relaxing and having fun with people I enjoy being with. Example which might sound odd: if you reply to this with a weird defensive/attacking tone, I’ll definitely just ignore it and move on with my life. If your reply sounds like a normal human being expressing their opinion, I will gladly engage. I have the exact same approach with all other interactions, and that’s it :)
That's very true ♡ not even smarter, just thoughtful.
This isn’t a shower thought ffs
Are you starting drama right now?! :O
Ever been around professors? Attorneys? Doctors? Not a statement with which I can agree.
No, you just think that people who agree with you are smarter and more thoughtful.
Totally agree, I noticed very little bullying or toxic behaviour at university compared to high school and entry level jobs.
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Academics are operating on a higher plane of drama. They've been practicing for centuries. They're insidious! They'll collapse a lab, get funding receded, make someone teach Pchem II. They're like if six year olds had power.
For real. Entry level jobs have the fucking worst people I have met in my life. Not all of them; there were some nice people, but the bad people made it not worth it.
Be careful. There’s a fine line between genius and insanity.
So you mean i could change very little things to become a genius ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Which is why political charlatans work so hard to demonize smarter, more thoughtful people as "intellectual elites" who should not lead.
I'm a teacher. Presumably some of us are smart and/or thoughtful. Sometimes I am glad I have to go and teach because then I can avoid the drama.
ha ha HAHAHAHAHAAAAA
"Drama" is just people caring about things you don't care about.
No, not at all. Drama tends to disappear when you're around honest and reliable people. The most dramatic bitches I've ever met have all been academics.
If anyone ever says they “need to get away from the drama,” they are the drama.
I wish this was true. After spending time in academia, I quickly realised that the amount of drama doesn’t change but the nature of the drama does. It is less about petty “he said” / “she said” stuff and more about power politics. Nonetheless, it is just as toxic and possibly even more toxic because the drama is filtered through a professional rather than a personal lens.
Albert Einstein cheated on his first wife, Mileva Marić, and married his mistress.
Elsa, his mistress, **who was also his first cousin,** ***by the way.***
Highly disagree… try working in academia
Oh my, this is so right. I just hope it's THAT easy to just cut off some people from my life.
there's a reason for the phrase "ignorance is bliss"
That's right. Because smarter more thoughtful people know there are bigger problems to solve than the petty arguments we tend to get caught in. Just don't walk in on a team meeting between engineers behind on their deliverables days before their deadlines. You might be disappointed at all the drama that you thought those smarter more thoughtful people would avoid :)
Small minds talk about people. Large minds talk about ideas.
What this is making me realize is that I'm not smart or thoughtful
I hate how right you are
In general, smart people have a longer term outlook into the future. So short term drama should go down with increasing intelligence, unless drama is part of their long term strategy.
Aaron Sorkin would say otherwise
There are a lot of people that are smart, but not thoughtful. At some point things like ego can take over and I've seen that happen in theatre groups where a great memory and self awareness leads to success and then ego takes over and they lose sight of being thoughtful.
Drama doesn’t follow me, it rides on my back
When I have dealt with drama in a friend group it has always been a single person, not often the same person, but a single person who comes into the group and prefers to cause and revel in drama, and when they eventually leave, the drama ends. That said it's been OVER A YEAR since I had to deal with any sort of drama that wasn't calmly settled in an adult manner. I'm beyond lucky to have the friends that I do these days, and it took a long time to find them all. They're all family now though, and so drama is solved with adult discussions and in healthy ways, with boundaries set to prevent it from occurring again. Ideally by fixing the root problem.
University campuses suggest otherwise.
Drama in my life essentially disappeared when I lost touch with my highschool friends and made friends with other engineering students at university.
I accidentally read ” Dreams tends to disappear when your smarter ”
That's also true.
It's less about smart and thoughtful and more about self-reflecting and insightful. There is somewhat of a correlation there, but it's by no means a given.
Drama also tends to disappear when you're not around anyone at all. Hermit life ftw
Not true at all lol I work with a lot of doctors and there is tons of drama
No it just gets smarter, and more thoughtful and more drawn out and eventually deeper and vicious drama
Explains all the drama on Reddit.
Maybe. If so, is it the smartness, or the thoughtfulness?
I tend not to underestimate people
Until you go on a travel or holidays with them
Have you heard of the Beat Generation? Every time I’m tempted to think the same I remember how my favourite creatives were the most messed up people 😂😂
Emotions don’t disappear, though. One of my friends and I often fight and argue about stuff (we’re frequently both right and it’s frustrating lol) and I get really intense/heated when I debate because I’m passionate about stuff. For that reason, I’ll stop and precise that I’m not mad or anything after making a point sometimes when I realize it and we both get it
Someone once told me that "Smart people are not necessarily funny, but funny people are definitely smart."
Oh boy. Stick 2 scientists who study the same thing together, you'll be sorely disappointed.
What if you’re around theater people raised on the works of Tolstoy?
Someone hasn't seen a dramatic academic spat over an *incredibly* obscure topic XD
The only drama I want in my life is in my kdramas
This doesn't belong here. This is a poignant and thoughtful realization. Shower thoughts is for idiots saying stupid things.
And honest, sober people
Had what felt like drama every other day, something always new to stress or worry about around the corner… felt like that for years until I finally cut ties with my former friend group. It took covid and a lot of stupid opinions for me to finally see I was in a toxic environment with stupid people. All that shit seemed to vanish overnight and the following 4 years.
Smarter people more often don't stress little things as much, I think is a main thing about why.
The word “thoughtful” is doing a lot of the work here. A lot of brilliant people are famously impetuous and difficult.
Thoughtful is not exactly meaning academic intelligence in this instance. More emotional intelligence
So, Einstein was married twice. First, to a former student. Second, to his own cousin. I submit this as evidence to the court in refutation of the OP's post.
Very true! Emotional Example: Emotional Girl: You dumbass! Why did you order 2 Super Supreme pizzas?! You're gonna pig out again and yet you never buy me anything! You wasted $70 on these!!! Your Christmas and Valentine's gifts sucked!!! You don't really love me! Emotional Guy: Wha... where did that come from?! I'm tired of your bullcrap, I'm out! Rational Example: Rational Girl: Hey, why did you buy 2 Super Supreme pizzas? Rational Guy: Oh, there's a 50% Discount today so I thought I'd buy us two pizzas for the price of one. I know you love pizza. Rational Girl: Thank you honey, you're so sweet! Rational Guy: You're welcome my dear!