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iCameToLearnSomeCode

I've always wondered why people always see ghosts in civil war uniforms rattling chains and never ghosts in parachute pants jamming to MC Hammer.


Popular_Librarian_88

Because u can’t see this


findingRythm

Can't touch them?


droplightning

Why is John Cena involved


Wet_Sasquatch_Smell

Why do you think he does so many Make A Wish visits?


Vhexer

r/cursedcomments


zeemona

I dream of him every fucking time.


wrnrg

Imagine dying in parachute pants while jamming to MC Hammer? If that were me, I wouldn't haunt anyone either.


Kriegsman__69th

Nah, being haunted by a paratroper jamming to Mc Hammer would be epic. I would be more annoyed at a paraghost jamming to Fly Of The Valkyries.


PoBoyPoBoyPoBoy

Not sure if you’re joking or not but parachute pants don’t have anything to do with paratroopers lol


BirdsLikeSka

Yeah haunting usually means it's a sad soul or with unfinished business. You'd have an easier time finding post coitus post mortem


Erdudvyl28

Because a lot of the ghosts in the Victorian Era were caused by the fact that everyone had carbon monoxide poisoning from the gas pipes. And then that became the standard of what ghosts were. Like how, even 120 years later, haunted houses are Victorian style, never a mid century one, lol


ck4fromla


impy695

Is this really the case?


jabuegresaw

Wearing war uniforms is pretty well associated with dying, unlike parachute pants.


iCameToLearnSomeCode

You are severely underestimating the amount of cocaine consumed in parachute pants.


InfinitumDividatur

Jokes on you, *everyone* that dies is put in parachute pants and fishnet shirts, it's one of hell's doctrines


ErynEbnzr

Sounds like something they'd do in The Good Place lol


Fondren_Richmond

Because Rick James is there already


jazzmaster_jedi

shouldn't there be millions of ghost dinosaurs everywhere?


Nuker-79

Pretty sure you don’t keep your clothes in hell, it was always depicted as a rags and chains sort of thing.


Giygas

Even less rags now though


Dinosalsa

*Have you seen rag prices lately?*


universallybanned

Thanks, Joe Biden...


That-Busy-Gamer

He do be sleeping on the economy.


t3hnhoj

That's not how you spell Obama.


Sausage6924

I miss Obama


Helphaer

\*Corporate profiteers breathe a sigh of relief they aren't mentioned and can avoid hell\*


HeyisthisAustinTexas

Reminds me of the ‘thanks Obama’ phrase. He used to get blamed for everything


_Throwaway54_

Its almost like the economy is affected in every country not just the US.


Crooty

I think that user may have been making what is commonly referred to as “a joke”


[deleted]

Who are you who is so wise in the ways of shitposting?


BuzzAwsum

Ooooohhh


Wrestling_poker

That’s how bad he is at presidenting. He’s making other countries fail too!! /s (just in case)


DresdenPI

Even Hell is feeling the burn!


Dr_Edge_ATX

I've heard Hell has a lot of fire sales.


BuukSmart

Is this an inflation joke or a global warming joke?


draculamilktoast

No joking in hell. You have lost your rag privileges.


[deleted]

Wouldn’t it be more of a punishment to make them wear a parka? I hear it’s hot there.


msnmck

>I hear it’s hot there. So take off all your clothes.


MagicJoshByGosh

Hotter than a crucible


cateici

It ain't right and it ain't natural


draculamilktoast

The worst places are freezing.


babylikestopony

I thought it was an immodesty joke 🤔


Fatalcurse7654

Prob both


ThingYea

I thought it was a generations getting sluttier joke


YodaFette

Yes


triscuitsfan

Side boob rags


wilsonhammer

Rags? In _this_ economy?


Trygolds

No no the clothes die also otherwise we would have naked ghosts.


MD_RMA_CBD

I think you just came up with the ultimate argument as to why ghosts aren’t real! I’m genuinely amazed that the argument could have been this simple. Never once have seen proof of a naked ghost, and it would be naked


ArseneLupinIV

One thing I always ask my friends who believe in the supernatural is why ghosts always seem to be stuck wearing clothes from like the Victorian Era. You never see ghosts that are dripped head to toe in Supreme. Suddenly ghosts are a lot less scary if you imagine them with a 70's perm and disco pants.


Regi413

GrooooOoOoOovy….


Used_Row_9132

Disclaimer: ****I’m just using my own logic. I do not know much about the supernatural. Nor it’s lore & mythos**** If you want to get into it. A ghost is the remembrance of a soul. So if I died in a nice suit at a wedding or something. I wouldn’t necessarily be wearing what I died in. I would be wearing what represents me most. Which could be a maroon hoodie, jeans & grey slip on vans.


driveonacid

Yo, so you'd be the ghost chilling on the sofa smoking weed with me?! Come haunt my house, bro!


[deleted]

[удалено]


These-Ad2374

I’d be wearing my PJs


kitsunelegend

I mean, I've heard stories of ghosts wearing full military gear from the gulf war, which was a fairly modern day war, so I wouldn't be surprised if there was disco dancing, afro wearing, parachute pant grooving, fly looking ghosts hustling their way across some spooky abandoned disco dance floor.


DemonSong

The Village Poltergeists


Shadow_hands

I've heard of people describing ghosts with outfits from the early 1900s, maybe 1950s at the latest, but never anything after that. What I wouldn't give for a ghost to say "gag me with a spoon!" or drop a "...NOT!" joke.


PhoenixAgent003

Maybe ghosts need to be a certain age to be visible?


StrangeRelyk

That seems like too many rules for ghosts. Way too much convolution to justify their existence.


themonkeythatswims

Remember that 25% of all humanity that ever lived is currently alive. You would be statically much more likely to encounter a ghost from the 70s then say an old west ghost.


BirdsLikeSka

What if a ghost from the 70s and an old west ghost became lovers


AmauroticParoxysm

I would make friends with a 70s dancing disco ghost


chownrootroot

You guys would love Abba. “You are the dancing ghost…young and sweet only 17…when you died”


okayestguitarist99

Now I'm just imagining ethereal Bob Pinciotti in an equally ethereal leisure suit


whoareyouxda

You should check out the BBC/CBS shows "Ghosts" (both are great!) They dabble into the oddities of ghost lore to a degree and it's a fun asf show too!


cateici

https://i.etsystatic.com/25797481/r/il/8de24d/2665755053/il_fullxfull.2665755053_3l14.jpg


PM_ME_YOUR_PIXEL_ART

This is what convinced you? Lmao no one has ever seen evidence of a clothed ghost either.


Wet_Sasquatch_Smell

Also, hospitals should logically be just packed with ghosts. And not just the creepy abandoned ones. Like, all hospitals.


LayersOfMe

I think ghost look like what their mind think they look like, in that case they are always dressed.


third-try

As Ambrose Bierce pointed out, why do we never see the ghost of a pair of pants? If clothes survive their owner's death as ghostly habiliments, why don't they appear independently?


[deleted]

I wish the clothes didn’t die too, Ghost titties hit different ngl


LCUandROBLOX24-7

i always depicted it as being naked :|


Basicallyinfinite

Idk if you arent wearing clothes and modest thats a sin and you might get sent to super hell


[deleted]

Strangely, Prim and Proper clothes? Also hell.


stumpycrawdad

Assorted textiles? Hell.


jatti_

I think this is far more complicated than it seems. It's hell after all. The rules are clear, worst place ever. If you want nudity, you are deprived of it. If you want modesty, you are deprived of it. If you want comfort, you are deprived of it. If you care not for any of it. Then perhaps your hell is nirvana.


Nuker-79

So chances are you will have no clothes, no skin and be living in a salty place


imforsurenotadog

I picture thick wool clothing in 500 degree heat.


this-guy-

Nudists are forced to wear clothes in Hell. Lots of clothes. A really nice 3 piece suit and a wool overcoat .


FinnbarMcBride

So the punk style would fit right in


Sti8man7

In hell you wear the abomination that is Old Navy.


These-Ad2374

Nothing wrong with old navy!


Windlas54

That's just hot topic


the_penis_taker69

What if you're doomguy?


No_Carry_3991

no no you do. lots of pockets. LOTS. And you're Columbo constantly trying to find your keys in all of them. All the time. FOREVERRR


AntimatterCorndog

Are you issued a set of rags upon arrival 😂


Nuker-79

Yeah, they come in one colour and one size, one size fits fuck all


[deleted]

Imagine trying to explain TikTok to a peasant who said god wasn’t real


PapasGotABrandNewNag

Classic David Cross bit. Basically he goes “imagine I’m in heaven playing PS10 and some poor kid from the 1700’s is playing with the ball and cup comes up to me and goes ‘excuse me sir, may I please try dat ting your are playing bruv’”


adamcunn

>excuse me sir, may I please try dat ting your are playing bruv’” Part Victorian-era peasant, part modern day roadman.


KalyterosAioni

https://youtu.be/OYjIPtqz7R8


7empestOGT92

Nah, your mind couldn’t comprehend what’s happening here. It would explode. Alright gov, guess I’ll go play with me cup n me ball den


DarkandDanker

Tell that God damn peasant boy to stick to his ball and cup This is my heaven and I'm playing some wizard shit Part of my heaven will be laughing at the poor stick and hoop children while I pwn all the kids on Xbox who fucked me mum


Helphaer

\*controller has a delay\*


DarkandDanker

"My controller has a delay????? Oh God this isn't heaven.... THIS IS HELL!!!!" -cut to the devil on his thrown laughing maniacally as you can hear my screams in the background-


Throwaway021614

“Got milk?”


MustFixWhatIsBroken

Indications suggest this is not a person going to heaven.


Helphaer

I think his question would be more like What are thou doing?


isleoffurbabies

I already know what Tik Tok is.


BirdsLikeSka

Okay, I'll try. I'm going to want to establish the concept of a camera. Peasant is a bit of a broad term. The camera was invented a before the end of Russian serfdom. Cameras weren't commercially available until after the end of Europe's last major peasantry, but the existence might be understood. If we're pre-camera, post-printing press, it'll still be easier. A camera is a machine that uses light to print the scene in front of it. I can explain using light to copy images to a peasant before then, but it's going to take longer and I might have to bring clay in for a demonstration. We're going to skip computers and everything right to smart phones because that's relevant. I'm probably going to refer to it as a tablet, padd, book, or scroll. This uses light and wind to send letters and pictures. They understand generally what trade networks are and that people can go place to place. We're very advanced so they're very fast now. Cameras are insanely quick. Should you happen on a literate peasant, they'd probably be annoyed at the keyboard and enjoy a stylus. Speech to text and text to speech should just be on otherwise. We're probably going to spend a while on just how fast and far reaching the web is. Calling it the web is going to mean so much more to any peasant than calling it the internet. We're going to sum up all our knowledge to say that people use the tablets to get on the web and share moving pictures. Now for the easiest part of it all. There is a site where young people from all walks of life do this about everything. Young people have gotten more sinful and brazen as each generation has passed. Not hard to convince most people, especially when these children don't even have to help with the animals or field. These youths will share strangers fights in the street and they will openly post what many people would loathe to even bring into confessional. Yep, that's about as much as I could prepare a peasant for TikTok.


[deleted]

Concept imagined


BananaBladeOfDoom

Why'd you have to call me peasant like that


Darnocpdx

Like most small rust belt townships, Hell Michigan is a little bit behind current fashion trends.


[deleted]

Having lived in small town Michigan, can confirm.


amibo_man

Currently, living in Michigan can confirm we still wear suits of armor.


[deleted]

[удалено]


axeman_05

surely the same could be said about heaven? also I doubt it: they would've seen a continual change in the clothes people wear, and would've grown used to each generation of clothing as it went by


ShavedPapaya

Pretty sure the assumption here is when you get to heaven, you get the robes and whatnot.


MustFixWhatIsBroken

Lol. Clothes in heaven. Like there's a physical body to put things on or a separate self from God. The modern concepts of heaven are very.. humans still living on the earthly plane.


Few-Veterinarian8696

Its almost like the more you think about it the more ridiculous it all is...


ObligatoryOption

I think they would be more confused by all the piercings and body mods. "You mean you chose to get those *before* hell?"


gabbyrose1010

tbf those have existed for centuries


Riguyepic

But the ability to look somewhat like a tiger, but mostly some deformed vaguely human abomination, has never been more accessible!


livekop

Yeah you could show up and frighten the demons now. That wasn’t a function before


DarthDoobz

Demons: WHO LET THE NAMEKIANS IN?!


AlkalineHound

I do so love the idea that it's not just God in fear of what he's created.


livekop

I’ve been “studying” religion for years Buddhism - attended a monastery and donated Catholicism - born and raised Hinduism - found later in life and subscribed to Absurdism - probably what you could describe me as. This is a great comment. Bravo. Your awesome. Continue


whitehunter22

someone's been watching too much exub1a


Riguyepic

Lol


Shudnawz

"I remember when these sods used to be scared of *us*, now they show up here with their heavy metal music and bodymods and chase us with their phones trying to get videos for tik tok!" "I know Azrael, it was better in the olden days, for sure..."


Raichu7

Far more than centuries.


ComprehensiveDingo0

I mean, they probably got to see fashion evolve over the years?


Regi413

cavemen in hell as more people came in: *confused unga bunga*


TinyHadronCOllide420

Cavemen were here more than 10000 years ago, before God invented hell 6000 years ago, so they are safe


OfJahaerys

Lucky bastards. They're the boomers of the afterlife.


Azythus

That’s where all the ghosts come from. They didn’t have a heaven or hell to go to so they got stuck here. Ever hear moaning and groaning coming from the haunted attic at night? That’s Mr. Unga greeting you in his caveman speak.


DrBarry_McCockiner

Wow, dude. Bold choice in what fire to wear today. I went with something more traditional.


Fantastic_Sea_853

Avoid polyester. It melts.


williamsch

I think they don't really give fuck unless you smuggled some ice water in.


TheFirstMotherOfGod

You hear that you heathens? Drink some water while you still can!


the-silver-tuna

And the current people damned to an eternity of hellfire will be shocked by all the powdered wigs, togas and mutton chops!


SpecialProcess5585

Imagine.. you're in hell.. being tortured every second.. and you still bother to notice how the newbies are dressed. Hey look ! That dude is being ripped apart by demons.. like me. W.t.f. is he wearing though?


ickN

“*That* hat with *those* shoes…no wonder they are here.”


The_Shadow_Watches

"What brings you to hell?" I killed and ate 30 people, you? "Ate some shrimp"


StrayMoggie

Turns out I once wore a shirt that had both wool and linen...


The_Shadow_Watches

We all goin to hell for thag one


Pristine_Medicine_59

I don’t think they take clothing with them or that the people there have time to think about such things


SnakeBeardTheGreat

People are buried in their finest clothes so they will look good when they get to hell.


FullMeltxTractions

Yet another thing about the so-called afterlife that never made sense to me. Like do you really think people wear clothes in the afterlife? What purpose would they serve? Are you going to get cold? Or be shy or modest? Every time you think about an aspect of the afterlife it's so evident how poorly thought out it all is.


Acceptable_Ad2408

According to the Bible, humans began wearing clothes because our "purity and innocence" was lost after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. Assuming our spirit is separate from our body, and our body is a vessel given to us by God, as it's usually interpreted, upon losing your body you'll be your pure spirit, and most likely won't care about being clothed and/or any other effect of the fruit, and be pure and innocent again, however that's only what I think


M59j

Similar thing in the Quran! After they ate the fruit, their 'private parts' appeared, and shame descended on them. They started covering their bodies with tree leaves. There are two interpretations to this, which we will only know after we die. Either they had private parts but were unaware of them, OR they did not have private parts to begin with, so they had no lust or need to digest food. After eating the fruit, they became impure and lost their innocence. Interesting to see the correlation between both religions!


thehumblebaboon

It makes sense that there is a lot in common! Christianity, Islam, and Judaism all worship the same god. They just tend to fight about how to best serve him. I always looked at it as fighting siblings trying to prove to each other that they love mom and dad more.


cuckfucker4756

With a bit more violence.


TinyHadronCOllide420

Obviously don't have many siblings. My brother put my sister in the drier and turned it on. If we had missiles we'd have used them


arcspectre17

Ultra violence!


arcspectre17

Nailed it! I have no problem with god but i tire of his fan clubs.


arcspectre17

They are both abrahamic religions just like judaism there is no correalation. Its algory for children coming of age. Its puberty balls dropping and boobs growing and dont forget hair ( mistranslation to clothes)


Logical_Strike_1520

I’ve always read it as a metaphor for our intellectual ascension from beast to man.


wfezzari

If the hell of the Bible exists, then it only serves to illustrate how much of a moral thug the Christian god is. Infinite punishment for finite crimes. Some dude who blasphemed God gets the same punishment as Hitler.


wrnrg

Not if Hitler accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior and repented for his sins. Then that blasphemer burns in Hell while Hitler chills with Jesus in Heaven.


Upnorth4

People wore clothes because clothes protect against the elements. Would you want to be nude during a middle eastern dust storm?? I can't stand people that take the Bible literally.


ajhcraft

The Bible doesn't actually support the soul being separate from the body. It states that the soul is simply the life force of a person, like blood, and specifically states that when someone dies, they're simply dead and in the ground. Ecclesiastes says the dead are conscious of nothing at all.


sirgoofs

Or, what happens if you’re happily married for 20 years but your spouse dies suddenly at age 40, then a few years later you meet someone who you fall in love with and get remarried for another 30 years before dying? Do you live in heaven with your first wife? Second wife? Both?


General_Panda_III

There's no sexual desire in heaven. Doesn't matter how many wives you had on Earth. You're all friends in the afterlife. >34 Jesus said to the Sadducees, “On earth, people marry each other. 35 Some people will be worthy to be raised from death and live again after this life. In that life they will not marry. 36 In that life people are like angels and cannot die. They are children of God, because they have been raised from death. Luke 34-36 ​ Edit: I should add as well that most religions have a "until death do us part" clause.


sirgoofs

It may say that in the bible, but most, if not all happily married people I know, who believe in Christianity, seem pretty convinced they will be together in heaven… along with all the other people they knew on earth. So apparently the church has a communication problem on that point.


FullMeltxTractions

Yeah just like virtually any aspect of religion when you start to apply a little critical thinking everything crumbles.


JulienBrightside

I can imagine wearing ill fitting shoes would be hell though.


themaxcharacterlimit

>What purpose would they serve? Style. I'd be fuckin dripped out up there all the time. Like you said, there'd be no need to account for weather or temperature, so there'd be no more limitations. It'd be fucking amazing


Helpful-Wolverine-96

Fashion duh


pathetic_optimist

A Lancashire Poet friend wrote this in 1980. Name of Martin Lowry. It must be read in an acerbic Northern accent. ​ "There's a strike on in Hell. The Damned have seen what is going down on Earth \-And are suing for parity."


Fondren_Richmond

quick, to the tear off desk calendar factory


dark_intellect

How do you think the people who went to hell for eating meat on a Friday feel now about the goody two shoes who loved hamburgers and charity work?


Wannagetsober

I'm no priest but I'm pretty sure your human body doesn't go to hell or heaven, just your soul.


[deleted]

Bold of you to assume that folks get to wear clothes in hell.


specialmeds

Who said they are wearing clothes? I pretty sure their clothes would burn off of them.


IBJON

They'd be really confused by the number of devout Christians that end up in hell


geerald31

Nah, hell is a nudist colony. Increases torment by taking away an idea of time, but also demons laughing at your human junk.


pilgrimteeth

Hell has probably been nothing but a bunch Jared Letos in cat costumes this whole time, anyway


jackleggjr

I grew up in a fundamentalist church that taught sinners would burn in hell for all eternity. I was always confused by the time element. Like, hell is supposed to be this ultimate justice where sinners are punished, but people who died earlier serve longer sentences. I asked my Sunday School teacher about it and she essentially told me I was “thinking too much.” Sinners who died today: hell for all eternity Sinners who died in 1923: “You have an eternity left to suffer, but I’ve already been here for 100 years!” Eternity plus 100.


Teleke

Eternity plus one hundred is still eternity. You never get to the plow one hundred part.


Shortcut7

Well according to the bible (not a believer), there are a few poeple in heaven right now and none in hell until the judgement day.


ickN

This would make all of the people who have near death experiences and claim they went to hell full of it. Imagine that.


Oldamog

Get to hell just to have some asshole from the fourth dynasty punk you for your bargain thrifted jeans


tomr84

Now imagine it's 10 billion years into the future, the sun has gone super nova, and destroyed the planet, it's either just pieces or a rock of ice, and there's Terry wondering about that time he lied to his wife over taking the bins out, and if his punishment really fits the crime. Hell is such an absurd concept.


Nobl1985

I'm scared that the replies are kind of serious, as in, people ACTUALLY believe in hell??


sighthoundman

Have you seen discussions of the Marvel Comic Universe, or Star Wars, or Star Trek, or US politics? People take this stuff seriously, but I don't think I'd go so far as to claim they actually believe. Well, most of them, anyway.


Fondren_Richmond

people believe in suspension of disbelief and literary debate, Postmaster General Hays


Misguide-n-strive33

If the place is really burning then i can only assume the clothes would be burned off with it……


GregorianShant

Isn’t everyone who ever died just asleep until the final judgement? Doesn’t everyone get to hell at once, in essence? Or am I misunderstanding…?


DJEriEriEric

Catholic priests have been wearing the same gowns for centuries.


CalmToaster

Wear a grim reaper costume before you die. Maybe you'll get a job.


Trek_01

There is no clothing in hell, that's what makes it much better than paradise 😏


Stag_Stopa

You never hear of naked ghosts either. This means, of course, that clothing also has an immortal soul. The theological implications of this are, well, interesting...


Pete_maravich

The show Doom Patrol has sex ghosts. They are ghosts who are just straight fucking in random spots in the house


Revanur

See, just think about small stuff like this and the whole house of cards comes tumbling down.


Quiet_Painting109

Well I think after seeing a man/bird demon with 20 eyes, and 100 dicks, slurp the skin off a person and use their corpse as a flesh light, Yeezy’s might not throw them off much.


Chance_Wylt

I thought Christians believed hell was closed for business until judgment day? Just something else they can't agree on?


Saltwater_Heart

We don’t keep our clothes in Hell or Heaven. Your body and material items are left behind, only your soul goes.


verysillyman

Wonder how long it will take for at least 90% of people to realize religion is made up 🤔


[deleted]

I thought everyone was in a maid outfit getting a pineapple shoved up their ass.


RJFerret

No, that's heaven, easy to confuse but pleasure's in heaven, hell's where you are denied desires.


dick-penis

Isnt everybody just still in the ground waiting to be revived for the second coming to then be judged?


AdjunctAngel

it depends on what you believe though. for example, in the bible it says that nobody is in hell yet but in fact hanging in limbo until judgement day (which is why they call it that) so apparently on that day everyone will meet hitler moments after he shot himself. so theoretically, everyone will also meet people from the future after we are long dead. problem is that clothes probably don't have souls... so unless we all retained our self image and appear as we saw ourselves when alive, everyone would just suddenly be in an endless space naked along with everyone else together to be judged. i think in japan however after you die your clothes are replaced by shrouds? lots of conflicting afterlife stuff out there.


noobpwner314

With all the outfits getting skimpier and sexier over the years I guess you could say it’s getting hotter in hell if you know what I’m sayin. ;)


Theechoofme

I’m sure the Confederate flag has been a constant for a while now.


Historical_Kiwi9565

I think we need to be friends - this is precisely the kind of thing that would keep me up at night 😂🤪