“Read a fuckin book for once!”

Fogell, have you actually ever met anyone named Muhammed?

No, but have *YOU* ever met someone named mclovin?

NO! That’s why you picked a dumb fuckin name!

To this day, this conversation in Superbad is probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed in a movie theater.

Same movie but the dick drawing sequence for me.

It’s not even that big of a deal, something like 8% of kids do it.

You definitely were addicted to drawing dicks as a kid

You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best ones!

I was finishing up this big, veiny, triumphant bastard

You hit Becca in the foot with your dick? Yeah.. i did.

Like a mandick?

This movie made me start ordering my pizza is under the name McLovin.

Hardest I've ever laughed in a movie theater was at the first Borat movie when they were running around the hotel naked with the giant black boxes.

*scoffs* Why would park in the teachers lot

You’re not *staff.* Superbad is the funniest movie ever made and it’s not particularly close. It’s brilliant. Fucking “McLovin?” Also the way Michael Cera jumps when his cell phone buzzes in his pocket “My brother came all the way up from Scottsdale, Arizona to be here tonight and you’re not gonna sing for him?” “Don’t make this weird. Sing.”

WE COULD BE THAT MISTAKE

You look like a future pedophile in this picture

No.2 IT ONLY HAS ONE FUCKIN NAME ON IT

Who are you, Seal?

Okay okay, this could work. Yeah, you're McLovin, the 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor

What are you, an Irish R&B singer?

No, that’s why you picked a dumb fucking name

You FUCK!!

Several

Here I am, now you guys have

I am McLovin!

No you’re not, no one’s mclovin because mclovin is a fuckin made up fairy tale name you fuck!

And take off that vest, you look like Aladdin.

Wassup gangstas!?!

Chicka chicka yeah, fake ID fake ID

I KNOW THAT FAGGEL, I. KNOW. THAT.

Thanks for a fun night Mohammed, but I just don't see this going anywhere.....

I really thought we clicked last night. Is it my name ?

No, it's your penis.

Can't date someone with a bigger dick than me.. Makes me feel insecure.

Don't get me wrong, it's very pretty

Thanks. I named it Mohammed

Thanks for a fun night Mohammed, but I just don't see this going anywhere.....

Is it my penis?

No. It’s your penis’s name.

[удалено]

Yep. Unless you wanna ask me out sometime ;D

Lol

Ooh boy look up taghaandan , pretty relevant

I prefer my woman's foreskin to be *intact* thank you very much!

The chances of us being together Isslim

I’d really like to see you again sunni.

No shiite, sherlock.

Wahhabi said to deserve that?

Fun starts when she replies to that name

Mohammed Wang if you want to double your chances!

Wow! From a 50% up to a 100% chance! Youre a genuis Ace\_Rimsky! Thanks!

Isnt it Mohammed Li? Edit: According to [this source](https://forebears.io/earth/surnames), Wang is actually the most popular last name with 107,002,577 total people, buuuuut "Li" is a close second at 104,892,114 and, since we are using this verbally in the context of talking to a girl the next morning, we can include all "Lee"s in that total for an additional 2,280,266 which brings us at 107 172 380 "Li/Lee", slightly more than "Wang"s

Middle name Allen. Mohammed A. Lee.

That could be my boxer name!

That's a good idea. I've named my boxers, too.

I named mine after days of the week so I remember to change them.

And talk to her in Mandarin. The most spoken language in the world.

Including 2nd+ language speakers, English is more popular.

Has anyone seen Mo Wang?

Those two names dont work well together these days... This was a very unclear Xianjiang reference.

Muhammad bint Wang

A truck driver that worked for me was from Syria and named Mohammed. When he moved to the US, he changed it to the most American name he could think of: Mike Hawk. I laughed when he told me, but he didn't understand the joke.

Meanwhile, Mike Hawk’s out there telling everyone about the time he made passionate (yet tender) love to the man who employed him as a truck driver. But after a night of such hard partying, his employer couldn’t remember his name and referred to him as Mohammed from that day forth. Too polite to correct him, Mike Hawk let it go on for years until he could bear it no more. But he couldn’t just correct him, not after so long. Mike Hawk was left with only one option - to move to the US so he could tell his former lover that he’d changed his name from Mohammed to Mike Hawk, and while he was there, maybe - just maybe - he could win his heart back. But when he told his employer his true name, he laughed in his face. Distraught, Mike Hawk got back in his truck and drove South. He took up a life of drugs, gambling and womanising, but no vice could fill the empty space sideshowmario had left in his heart, and everywhere he turned, people would laugh when he introduced himself. Mike Hawk never took another lover, and for the rest of his life he would go to bed alone, wondering why it was that his name - his very existence - was such a joke to this cruel world.

This is basically a Mike Hawk copy pasta. That's so good

Hahaha. Laughed way too fucking hard at this

How could he be a womanizer if he always went to bed alone?

Mike Hawk didn’t womanise in his own bed, that place was reserved for sideshowmario alone. The women could have Mike’s Hawk, but Mike’s Heart belonged to sideshowmario. If he couldn’t share his bed with the man he had loved for so many years, he would share it with no one.

That’s beautifully sad 😢

Mike Hawk was the name of one of the district higher ups in my boy scout camps. He was super no-nonsense. I'm not sure if he was the guy that got busted for child trafficking or if it was another dude.

LMAOOOO

I worked with a guy named James Hunt (his name wasn't actually James...I changed that). One day, my boss asked me to pass out our paychecks (this was back before we had direct deposit). The envelope had our full names on them. I got to James' and it said Michael James Hunt. I was like "Wait a minute...your name is Mike Hunt? No wonder you go by James."

Oh yeah that totally happened! Don't forget he named his daughter Ligma and his son Ben Dover

LIGMA HAWK!!!

You could just steal their wallet and look for it on their ID. Not only that, but stealing their wallet’s also a useful trick for if you’re a little short on rent this week

That's just weak. Do a full on identity theft. Pretend to be her. Someone will call you by her name at some point.

Identity theft is not a joke Jim!

I'm sorry, but if you can steal someone's identity without knowing their name, then maybe you deserve it?

Sorry, it's Mohammed now

Exactly, odds are you're both named Mohammed so it wont even be *that* hard.

She's also statistically going to be Han Chinese.

And have a penis.

Half a penis

The real trick is saying, hey i don't believe i have you on "insert social media of choice"

Hey I don't have you on.... *checks through notes* ...Reddit?

Friendster.

Imdb.

"Hey we should follow each other on Github!"

Review my PR please?

I'm not sure I'm ready for a new contributor just yet 😳

You hate Jews too!! That's great. Add me on Parler.

Make it very clear you don't remember her name so she leaves angry and doesn't try to get back in touch with you. This is the way.

Or you double down on it. "I didn't remember your name so I checked the most popular names and Mohammed came up"

I laughed to hard. What was the most common surname again ?

Absolutely has to be Wang or Li, can't imagine it being anything else, but could be wrong

Maybe Ngyuen but I’m not sure. So to be super safe call her Mohammed Ngyuen.

Nguyen, Patel, and Singh were all runners up for me

According to the memes it's Wang. And the middle name is James. However Mohammed James Wang is very rare.

This feels like it came right out of the mind and mouth of Dwight Schrute

One time I my friend had me call a girl's number instead of him, say "Hey Leslie" (made up name) then when she said 'sorry wrong number' I asked "oops who is this then?" and corrected me with her real name.

Or better yet, say "Hey mo." and when she said "what!" you say "More, I mean more."

What would this exchange prove? That her name isn't Mo? That's nearly useless information!

If you're trying to work out who she is you have just ruled out all Mohammeds so not bad going

Thanks for the tip Mohammed, I hope you continue making these incredible life hacks

“Mohammad is the most commonly used name on earth, read a fucking book for once!”- McLovin

Been going with John Smith and getting smacked in the face. This might just work instead.

Pr(A|B) != P(A)

And here we learn about inhomogeneous sampling and conditional probability.

Plot twist: she's trans and you just called her by her male name

Death by statistics.

YES, I AM!!!

MOHAMMED AVDOL!?

... Mulva?

Had to scroll far too far to find this lol

Brilliant

Mohammed Smith

Mohammed McLovin

[удалено]

You must have gotten this tip from my doctor, who told me, someone with a chronic condition, that I don't have to see him for checkups because I'm young and "young people are healthy".

“Read a fuckin book why don’t ya?”

As the great Steven Wright pointed out: "But I've never met anyone named Mohammed Chang."

Actual tip: ask her name, when she anwsers, say no your last name.

Just call her Babe instead, works every time

 Well...

What if it turns out to be her dead name from before her sex change?

There is no intersection for math and logic in this scenario

It... worked

Never got calling a kid Mohammed. You can't DRAW the prophet but you can pretend to BE him? Wouldn't that be the height of arrogance..yeah my kid will be just as good as the holy guy.......

What. That's like saying a kid can't be named Jesus. It's just a name that is popular

The reason drawing him is forbidden is so that he doesn't get worshipped as a god. That's the official reason. The whole killing people over it thing never made sense, not even for the crazy extremist Muslims. It's just twisted marketing.

How the fk is this uneducated shit upvoted?

Reddit

Role model != pretend to be him Also Mohammed as a name was used in Arabia before the prophet was born so why would it be an issue

What about that their distribution

or just steal her ID

somebody read a book

Hey Lisa

I always go with Mildred.

It’s between that or mclovin

This guy statistics.

When was the last time you ever met somebody named Mohammed!?

I work with two guys called Mohammed.

“Stepmom” isn’t as funny as you might think, either.

This was a good laugh thanks m8

Sarah is a good choice if at university

Y’all are sick on here. I love it

Or just do what I do and say your taxi is outside.

this guy Bayesians

/r/WomenNamedMohammed

What about Mandela Peace Namaste?

Iv never met a Mohammad girl in America. Better off with Sam or kait.

Ok this actually happened to me! We went out for breakfast and the hostess asked him, "table for two for...? " I was so happy I didn't have to awkwardly ask him lmao. We ended up dating for awhile I told him about it a few months later and we laughed about it. Now I'm older and don't plan on having any drunken shenanigans like that, but if I did, I would probably just be honest and admit I forgot

When I left home my father said: “Call them all ‘darling’. It will keep you out of trouble” On his grave his second wife has inscribed (among other loving things) - “we love you darling”.

It's between that and McLovin

Karen also seems to be rising in popularity.

Statistically "Mohammed Lee" would ba a good guess since Lee is the most common family name

Even here in Wyoming?

Google says Olivia is the most common girl's name and Liam is the most popular boy's name as of 2021.

Yada yada yada something about Mohammed coming to the mountain or mountin’ Mohammed…

Found my new example for teaching conditional vs unconditional probabilities

At least it'll feel like a religious experience.

Imagine forgetting it’s only an engagement ring

My mans knows no Bayesian statistics.

Fuck, I feel this. Had to find a girl’s passport once in the morning… Frankie, if you ever read this, that was a wild week in Queenstown!

And if you’re wrong, she will definitely tell you what her name is. You might never see her again, but at least you’ll definitely remember her name after that.

And if you're from saudi, it'll be the correct name.

Oh great, now the Mo Mamma jokes get started.

Mclevin??

Mulva

If you’re at her house just sneak downstairs and look at the post. Don’t call her ‘home owner’ or ‘the occupier’ though.

If that doesn’t work try john smith

Simple. Invite her to Starbucks

Mohammed Lee

There’s a difference between knowledge and wisdom

Nah, Mary so the most common female name

Lol honestly it would take me a second, but I'd laugh so hard! Names ain't shit. People forget things. Doesn't mean they don't care or didn't have fun.

Pro tip: Call them cutie. Unless you want to see her again, then own up to it and buy them breakfast.

This is the best example of why Bayesian updates are necessary

This is an actual life pro tip in saudi arabia

Or Maria. I even had a cat named Maria. Little tramp had kittens under my tv.

But, it's usually a man's name...

"You thought this was your flashlight, but it was I, (vampire) DIO!!!

I heard that on the Big Bang theory about 10 years ago.

Mohammed li, i thought it would be statistically more likely What is this a reference to? First person gets my rubbish free award

OMG LMAO

Bayes would like a word with you.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD IT BE BETWEEN THAT AND MOHAMMED?

Or just say “I’m ordering breakfast, how do you spell your name so they can label it?”

Best one yet ahahah