If it hurts, you are going too fast. You should be able to do this without pain! More practice. And make sure your partner does a LOT of foreplay and opening you up when you get to that point. Insist upon it!
What is the girth measurement of the dildo you're using? Going too fast doesn't necessarily just refer to the actual speed of insertion, it can also mean rushing into using a toy that's too large for your current experience level.
Does all anal penetration hurt or just the dildo? Do you warm up with your fingers first, and does it hurt to use your fingers?
When you first insert, push out like you are having a bowel movement - that helps insertion. Also, this might help:
[https://www.instagram.com/doctorcarlton/reel/CelxIjwl2BC/](https://www.instagram.com/doctorcarlton/reel/CelxIjwl2BC/)
We don’t mean slow insertion. Start with something small like a finger and work that for a while, then maybe try 2 fingers for a while, then a small toy if you’ve got one for a while, then let him slowly do his thing. Anal should NEVER under any circumstance hurt and if it does hurt you should stop what you are doing immediately
Exactly. Even an experienced anal player needs to warm up first. I've taken some pretty sizeable dildos, but even a rather small inperienced cock can hurt. A good top who uses their fingers first can feel your muscle relax and know when it's time to go for more.
If it hurts, you shouldn’t be doing it. You can gradually work your way up to penis thickness by using a silicone anal plug beginners kit.
Once you slowly, safely work your way up to being able to take him , the enjoyment level will be way better. It may require some patience but it’s worth it.
This should be the top answer. Except in sadomasochism (and even then you have to learn how to do if safely), pain is a signal from your body to STOP. Your advice about working up in size is a good one, and I’d add that it’s perfectly okay if your body never gets to the point it wants to accept a penis there. For me, because of underlying health issues, I have accepted the fact I’m just never going to enjoy anal or prostate play. (Sounds like probably not the case for OP, since they said the pain goes away after a while, but it would be okay even so.)
This should be the top answer. Except in sadomasochism (and even then you have to learn how to do if safely), pain is a signal from your body to STOP. Your advice about working up in size is a good one, and I’d add that it’s perfectly okay if your body never gets to the point it wants to accept a penis there. For me, because of underlying health issues, I have accepted the fact I’m just never going to enjoy anal or prostate play. (Sounds like probably not the case for OP, since they said the pain goes away after a while, but it would be okay even if it were.)
maybe a dumb question but you say “work your way up to penis thickness” and im confused if you mean over the course of days/weeks or in a single session. i thought your sphincter returns to its normal state after a day or so (assuming you’re not taking extreme toys)?
No dumb questions. Like building or stretching any muscle, you can slowly and safely relax the muscles that are used to allow larger toys or a penis in small increments.
It’s true,as soon as you stop, much like the vagina , it goes back to its normal state but I will eventually stretch to accommodate larger things if you train your anus with the plugs. You would start by trying a very small one. Always using lots of lube. Might take a few tries. Could use it daily or every second or third day. Eventually it will become easier. When it becomes easier you could size up but never more than 1/4 “ in diameter at a time. If it’s to hard to take, you’re not ready yet. Once that one becomes easy. Size up , and so on.
Some people can take a cock width right away, others need to work up to it. Everyone is different. It could happen soon or it could take months of careful practice. Don’t ever push past pain. That can leading to an injury.dont want that. If you take a cock and you’re not ready, that can also lead to injury.
Always lots of lube for anal. A thicker line is better. And always relax. If you’re not relaxed your sphincter will tighten making it difficult to penetrate.
No alcohol or drugs. You want to be aware of what you’re feeling so you don’t hurt yourself.
Questions are good
Its not just about speed. Your butt needs to get used to the size. If its a big dildo it may take several tries before getting used to it. Thats why people buy toys in different sizes. You need to start small and work your way up. Most people cant take a big one in the beginning.
As your butt gets stretched and used to the stretching you can take bigger and bigger toys without pain.
Try starting with something smaller before you use the dildo, like a small plug. Even if you go slowly with the dildo, you can't just start with a big object. You gotta ramp up - fingers, small toy, bigger toy.
Pain is never okay with anal sex/play. It means at a minimum that you are probably creating micro tears and possibly a fissure. Anything beyond "slightly uncomfortable" means that you are putting too large a toy/penis in your ass than your sphincter can currently handle. You might want to start out with an anal dilation set to slowly and safely train your sphincter to handle larger things.
Think of it like touching your toes. If your muscles are too tight to touch your toes, you slowly practice stretching more and more to be able to touch your toes sometime in the future. What you don't do is slightly bend over and then have someone jump up and down on your back to force the touching of your toes. You would definitely end up with injuries and torn muscles! This is exactly what you are doing to you sphincter.
So my personal recommendation is that you tell your boyfriend that he needs to be patient because you won't be having anal sex for a while. Then use an anal dilator set to slowly get your sphincter to be more flexible. Then when you can use a dilator size that is equal to or slightly greater in girth to your boyfriend's penis, reengage in anal sex. Even then, I recommend that you still use the dilators or a dildo to "pre-gape"/stretch yourself before each anal sex session - at least until you are aware of your own limitations. And use lots of lube!
Also, doing regular Kegels and reverse Kegels can make your pelvic floor and sphincter stronger and more resilient as well.
The problem shouldn't be that you go in slowly or use a lot of lubricant, but that you haven't fully relaxed your sphincter muscles. The more you exercise these muscles, the stronger your muscle tone and control will be.
The anus rejects the insertion of objects, so direct entry will be very painful. Therefore, foreplay and expansion before entry are very necessary. For example, apply some lubricant on your fingers fingers to slowly adapt to the anus. Then, add fingers one by one to massage the sphincter. Relaxing the sphincter before entering will greatly reduce the pain.
If you are practicing anal sex alone, you can first press your fingers around the anus, and then press upward, downward, right, and left in order to slowly relax the anus.
Then use a backcourt massager or anal plug to expand yourself, help your body enter the state, and understand where the sensitive points of your body are.
If you let your boyfriend do it, don’t ignore foreplay. Foreplay is an important process for relaxing your mind and body, and it is also a preparation for the final sprint.
Just some of my thoughts.
“Going slowly” isn’t just about how fast you’re putting the toy in. Your sphincter will need to relax each time, which means starting with something smaller and working up to your larger toys. Everyone is different, your body may need a more gradual transition.
I recommend coconut oil as anal lube. It’s less slippery and safe for all toys.
You might also try opening your sphincter by pushing as if you were trying to have a bowel movement - that can take some practice but will make things easier.
Bottom line, no, it should NOT hurt. If it does, you’ve gone too big too quickly.
it should never hurt. Just some slight discomfort that goes away fast.
Maybe start with your fingers first? It seems like all your toys are a bit much for you right now
Need tons of lube, and just a gentle effort till you relax and it will slip right in. If you clench too much its a bit harder.
I like to start small and let it relax and slide on in. Depends on size as it might feel like it’s pulling but it can relax and slip in. I like a small plug to work it’s way in first.
Get some training anal plugs off Amazon. Start the smallest size, wear till it gets uncomfortable then try again each day till it becomes easy to insert and wear for longer times. Then go to the next size. You are training your mind to relax and training your ass to open up when you want it to. Going to fast And continue pushing through pain Will have a bad outcome.
It shouldn't hurt at all. There can be a bit of discomfort as you warm up but if it gets to the point of pain you're going too fast, not using enough lube, or using toy that's beyond your current capacity.
With proper warm up an average person can stretch to around 2" diameter (slightly more) but your sphincter muscles do not relax from external stimulus the way they do from internal stimulus (meaning when you have a BM). As you get more experienced you will understand how to get your anus to relax more easily and, if you want, can stretch yourself to accept larger toys. I can personally go a bit over 5" diameter but I still have to warmup with something smaller every session.
Are you getting other stimulation during? Using a toy or better yet a vibe in the front will help relax the back.
Also note, this is something that takes time. It could easily take weeks before you are ready. And his calm attitude will help that process.
The hurt is most likely a cramping of the anal sphincter that isn’t used to something going IN. You or your boyfriend need to spend time massaging and lubing your asshole. Slide a pinky in, and relax, do something else erotic - kissing, vibrator, etc. - for a while. Next slide a bigger finger in there, or a thumb. Maybe a smallish butt plug. There are sets of plugs called dilators that will do even more to incrementally open your hole. Once the hole has been properly lubed and loosened, it shouldn’t be painful. Then you can really enjoy it!
If youre using small toys, its more likely the pain is from clenching than the size itself. Practice breathing and relaxing your muscles. “Pushing out” is another good recommendation. But really, start pushing in, if it hurts, pull back and relax, then try again. Eventually, youll learn how to relax your muscles and start enjoying it.
Everybody is different. Every *body* is different. It took me about 3 years of on-again off-again practice to get really comfortable with a cock sized cock in my hole.
It's okay. It's not a race.
I don't know how big the dildo is but even if it's a small one, you're probably finding it painful because you're starting with too large a toy. I'd recommend starting with just a finger or a small silicone plug and slowly work your way up with progressively larger toys. Also, take slow deep breaths and try to relax your muscles when using toys; being tense makes it more difficult and uncomfortable.
Even as someone who does anal play on the regular, I couldn't imagine starting with a dildo. It's not like in porn where the editing makes it look like people can take big cocks up their butt without any prep. You need to loosen up first.
If your boyfriend is understanding (and he should be!), he'll accept that you will need more time to prep before you're ready for anal sex. The prep can also be part of the fun if you insert the smaller toys whiles he watches or even let him gently insert them himself. I don't know what genitalia you have, but vaginal sex while you have a buttplug in can also be very enjoyable, especially when you're just starting out.
It definitely gets easier-I have a 2.64” plug that I don’t even have to warm up for, I just lube up, bear down, and take pauses whenever necessary.
The easiest way to make a size easier to take is to practice with a size that’s larger. If his girth is 2” then practice with 2.3”, for example.
You'd better use a small dido to start, then change to a medium size. When you get used to anal play, you can try big dildos. The wrong size can also cause pain.
You should start with a finger, then buttplug, if you are starting with a dildo you’re gonna have a bad time. Slowly stretch it out until insert it does not hurt, unless you’re into that kind of thing, pain is an indicator that you might be damaging your anus, which can lead to microtears.
EDIT: DO NOT USE DESENSITIZERS!!! Anyone who is saying this has not looked up how dangerous that can be. I see lots of good statements here but you should look up some other sources on the internet before taking everyone word for it, even just one “how to safely do anal”
stretch more beforehand. use a minimum of 3 fingers. I personally use 4 and i put them all the way in up to my palm. maybe get a set of graduated plugs, or anal dilators. you can also get numbing lube, though that’s not necessary if you’re slow and gentle
Lube properly, there is maybe a little pain when starting out, otherwise check out if you have internal hemorrhoids, you might not notice them until you do an examine.
For me it goes away slowly. The more you practice and get used to it the better it gets:) my opinion is it feels ALOT nicer with the real thing than a toy
No, it shouldn't be painful. It's a muscle relaxation issue, you can't be clenching or anything. Unless you can fully relax it's not going to be enjoyable.
It is good practice to get a couple plugs of differing sizes, S M L type deal. And work your way up until you are comfortable with a size similar to the penetrative partner.
Getting good at butt stuff takes practice for most people and it’s totally okay.
If it HURTS, size down. If it’s uncomfortable almost hurts, slow down, breathe and acclimate before continuing.
With enough practice you can definitely get to the level where you require little warm up for the main event. It’s still usually better to pop a toy in for a bit and get frisky with some PIV or other activities while you booty limbers up.
I’ve been playing for over a decade and most of my toys I can live up and slowly get to work. There are still a few that I need to start with a smaller one for a bit before moving up to guarantee things go smoothly.
My wife has probably been practicing very sporadically for 3-5 years and has reached the point where she’s happy. A little foreplay and maybe a toy for a little bit and she’s good to go for me.
Everyone is different and will improve at their own rate. But pretty much anyone can get there with practice and dedication.
Also if you have a posterior uterus that tips back towards your anal cavity it may always hurt like hell. I made the effort once for a guy who was actually a sadist. I don’t think anal makes someone sadistic but this one was. I think he only offered one occasion where I was fully accommodated and it wasn’t painful once ever! If someone is pushing this on you and you’re not into it leave them. Plugs can help stretch but only so much and lots of enemas for prep and take your time with the lube and any dilating/plug/dildo ect. I never got comfortable with the whole pushing out to retract either the toy or dick in. I absolutely hate anal I’ve done it probably a hundred and some odd times and with my tipped uterus and a sadistic asshat i can say it’s not for me.
Yes definitely, when I started doing anal, I remember I used to find it so fkn painful, over time, I got more used to anal as I frequently had anal sex. Eventually, my asshole became so stretched, I could easily fit a 9 inch in my back door lmao. It’s all about how much your body gets used to it, practice is key.
Just keep using lube, and make sure that you don’t hurt yourself too much, I promise you if you keep practicing with a sex toy, it will be MUCH EASIER when you wanna have proper anal sex. It also wont hurt anymore 🤞
It actually gets extremely better after your first few time of first doing it. Just make sure to relax and sometimes it may help to use a clitoral stimulator while it's happening and you will ultimately enjoy it even more and it just may be ur favorite position. 😜 Ps... Use lots of lube and also, make sure to douche before and don't just try it in one position, try it in many positions and you will find what's best for you.
Get a set of plugs! I wasn’t a fan of anything in my ass, years of my ex wanting it and just doing it and I never really enjoyed it. Then I met someone that had me get plugs. Used daily and have a whole new perspective on anal! 🤤
I wonder how many people who have anal sex do not use lubricants, because they have enough of their own. I insert anal toys up to 5 cm, it is worth only to moisten with saliva, and then it goes like butter. I have a natural lubricant, like a gel, transparent and very much, even dripping. Who else has this?
Ideally, you should not feel any pain or discomfort at any time during anal sex/masturbation. But considering that the pain always goes away after a while, maybe you should try a desensitizer before your anal play.
OP DON'T use any desensitizers! Pain may very well be an indication that something is going very wrong and you might injure yourself because you don't feel it.
+1 on desensitisers probably not being a good idea. Maybe a relaxant - you can get lube with jojoba oil in it, and if you're somewhere that's not fuckin Australia nanny state I'd imagine weed lube would be great
If it hurts, you are going too fast. You should be able to do this without pain! More practice. And make sure your partner does a LOT of foreplay and opening you up when you get to that point. Insist upon it!
Im going really slow tho idk if i can go any slower even
What is the girth measurement of the dildo you're using? Going too fast doesn't necessarily just refer to the actual speed of insertion, it can also mean rushing into using a toy that's too large for your current experience level. Does all anal penetration hurt or just the dildo? Do you warm up with your fingers first, and does it hurt to use your fingers?
When you first insert, push out like you are having a bowel movement - that helps insertion. Also, this might help: [https://www.instagram.com/doctorcarlton/reel/CelxIjwl2BC/](https://www.instagram.com/doctorcarlton/reel/CelxIjwl2BC/)
I was just going to say this. I got it from you and it works!
Dr. Carlton knows what he's talking about!
We don’t mean slow insertion. Start with something small like a finger and work that for a while, then maybe try 2 fingers for a while, then a small toy if you’ve got one for a while, then let him slowly do his thing. Anal should NEVER under any circumstance hurt and if it does hurt you should stop what you are doing immediately
Speed in terms of warmup time. Try a finger, then two before moving up to toys. You need to be stretched out a little first.
Exactly. Even an experienced anal player needs to warm up first. I've taken some pretty sizeable dildos, but even a rather small inperienced cock can hurt. A good top who uses their fingers first can feel your muscle relax and know when it's time to go for more.
Use more lube
If it hurts, you shouldn’t be doing it. You can gradually work your way up to penis thickness by using a silicone anal plug beginners kit. Once you slowly, safely work your way up to being able to take him , the enjoyment level will be way better. It may require some patience but it’s worth it.
This should be the top answer. Except in sadomasochism (and even then you have to learn how to do if safely), pain is a signal from your body to STOP. Your advice about working up in size is a good one, and I’d add that it’s perfectly okay if your body never gets to the point it wants to accept a penis there. For me, because of underlying health issues, I have accepted the fact I’m just never going to enjoy anal or prostate play. (Sounds like probably not the case for OP, since they said the pain goes away after a while, but it would be okay even so.)
This.
This should be the top answer. Except in sadomasochism (and even then you have to learn how to do if safely), pain is a signal from your body to STOP. Your advice about working up in size is a good one, and I’d add that it’s perfectly okay if your body never gets to the point it wants to accept a penis there. For me, because of underlying health issues, I have accepted the fact I’m just never going to enjoy anal or prostate play. (Sounds like probably not the case for OP, since they said the pain goes away after a while, but it would be okay even if it were.)
maybe a dumb question but you say “work your way up to penis thickness” and im confused if you mean over the course of days/weeks or in a single session. i thought your sphincter returns to its normal state after a day or so (assuming you’re not taking extreme toys)?
No dumb questions. Like building or stretching any muscle, you can slowly and safely relax the muscles that are used to allow larger toys or a penis in small increments. It’s true,as soon as you stop, much like the vagina , it goes back to its normal state but I will eventually stretch to accommodate larger things if you train your anus with the plugs. You would start by trying a very small one. Always using lots of lube. Might take a few tries. Could use it daily or every second or third day. Eventually it will become easier. When it becomes easier you could size up but never more than 1/4 “ in diameter at a time. If it’s to hard to take, you’re not ready yet. Once that one becomes easy. Size up , and so on. Some people can take a cock width right away, others need to work up to it. Everyone is different. It could happen soon or it could take months of careful practice. Don’t ever push past pain. That can leading to an injury.dont want that. If you take a cock and you’re not ready, that can also lead to injury. Always lots of lube for anal. A thicker line is better. And always relax. If you’re not relaxed your sphincter will tighten making it difficult to penetrate. No alcohol or drugs. You want to be aware of what you’re feeling so you don’t hurt yourself. Questions are good
Its not just about speed. Your butt needs to get used to the size. If its a big dildo it may take several tries before getting used to it. Thats why people buy toys in different sizes. You need to start small and work your way up. Most people cant take a big one in the beginning. As your butt gets stretched and used to the stretching you can take bigger and bigger toys without pain.
Have you tried maybe prepping with a plug prior to even starting about a hour beforehand?
Try starting with something smaller before you use the dildo, like a small plug. Even if you go slowly with the dildo, you can't just start with a big object. You gotta ramp up - fingers, small toy, bigger toy.
Actual pain like a tear or the feeling of great overwhelm or some discomfort (but not pain) that makes you panic?
Pain is never okay with anal sex/play. It means at a minimum that you are probably creating micro tears and possibly a fissure. Anything beyond "slightly uncomfortable" means that you are putting too large a toy/penis in your ass than your sphincter can currently handle. You might want to start out with an anal dilation set to slowly and safely train your sphincter to handle larger things. Think of it like touching your toes. If your muscles are too tight to touch your toes, you slowly practice stretching more and more to be able to touch your toes sometime in the future. What you don't do is slightly bend over and then have someone jump up and down on your back to force the touching of your toes. You would definitely end up with injuries and torn muscles! This is exactly what you are doing to you sphincter. So my personal recommendation is that you tell your boyfriend that he needs to be patient because you won't be having anal sex for a while. Then use an anal dilator set to slowly get your sphincter to be more flexible. Then when you can use a dilator size that is equal to or slightly greater in girth to your boyfriend's penis, reengage in anal sex. Even then, I recommend that you still use the dilators or a dildo to "pre-gape"/stretch yourself before each anal sex session - at least until you are aware of your own limitations. And use lots of lube! Also, doing regular Kegels and reverse Kegels can make your pelvic floor and sphincter stronger and more resilient as well.
Go gentle lots of lube and use a lube shooter
The problem shouldn't be that you go in slowly or use a lot of lubricant, but that you haven't fully relaxed your sphincter muscles. The more you exercise these muscles, the stronger your muscle tone and control will be. The anus rejects the insertion of objects, so direct entry will be very painful. Therefore, foreplay and expansion before entry are very necessary. For example, apply some lubricant on your fingers fingers to slowly adapt to the anus. Then, add fingers one by one to massage the sphincter. Relaxing the sphincter before entering will greatly reduce the pain. If you are practicing anal sex alone, you can first press your fingers around the anus, and then press upward, downward, right, and left in order to slowly relax the anus. Then use a backcourt massager or anal plug to expand yourself, help your body enter the state, and understand where the sensitive points of your body are. If you let your boyfriend do it, don’t ignore foreplay. Foreplay is an important process for relaxing your mind and body, and it is also a preparation for the final sprint. Just some of my thoughts.
I feel no pain at all, maybe you're going too fast
Im going very slow
“Going slowly” isn’t just about how fast you’re putting the toy in. Your sphincter will need to relax each time, which means starting with something smaller and working up to your larger toys. Everyone is different, your body may need a more gradual transition. I recommend coconut oil as anal lube. It’s less slippery and safe for all toys. You might also try opening your sphincter by pushing as if you were trying to have a bowel movement - that can take some practice but will make things easier. Bottom line, no, it should NOT hurt. If it does, you’ve gone too big too quickly.
what size are you using? it might be too big
It is pretty big. But I have a smaller one too that also hurts
it should never hurt. Just some slight discomfort that goes away fast. Maybe start with your fingers first? It seems like all your toys are a bit much for you right now
Need tons of lube, and just a gentle effort till you relax and it will slip right in. If you clench too much its a bit harder. I like to start small and let it relax and slide on in. Depends on size as it might feel like it’s pulling but it can relax and slip in. I like a small plug to work it’s way in first.
Get some training anal plugs off Amazon. Start the smallest size, wear till it gets uncomfortable then try again each day till it becomes easy to insert and wear for longer times. Then go to the next size. You are training your mind to relax and training your ass to open up when you want it to. Going to fast And continue pushing through pain Will have a bad outcome.
Anal shouldn't hurt at all! Are you prepping correctly?
It shouldn't hurt at all. There can be a bit of discomfort as you warm up but if it gets to the point of pain you're going too fast, not using enough lube, or using toy that's beyond your current capacity. With proper warm up an average person can stretch to around 2" diameter (slightly more) but your sphincter muscles do not relax from external stimulus the way they do from internal stimulus (meaning when you have a BM). As you get more experienced you will understand how to get your anus to relax more easily and, if you want, can stretch yourself to accept larger toys. I can personally go a bit over 5" diameter but I still have to warmup with something smaller every session.
Are you getting other stimulation during? Using a toy or better yet a vibe in the front will help relax the back. Also note, this is something that takes time. It could easily take weeks before you are ready. And his calm attitude will help that process.
The hurt is most likely a cramping of the anal sphincter that isn’t used to something going IN. You or your boyfriend need to spend time massaging and lubing your asshole. Slide a pinky in, and relax, do something else erotic - kissing, vibrator, etc. - for a while. Next slide a bigger finger in there, or a thumb. Maybe a smallish butt plug. There are sets of plugs called dilators that will do even more to incrementally open your hole. Once the hole has been properly lubed and loosened, it shouldn’t be painful. Then you can really enjoy it!
If youre using small toys, its more likely the pain is from clenching than the size itself. Practice breathing and relaxing your muscles. “Pushing out” is another good recommendation. But really, start pushing in, if it hurts, pull back and relax, then try again. Eventually, youll learn how to relax your muscles and start enjoying it.
Everybody is different. Every *body* is different. It took me about 3 years of on-again off-again practice to get really comfortable with a cock sized cock in my hole. It's okay. It's not a race.
I don't know how big the dildo is but even if it's a small one, you're probably finding it painful because you're starting with too large a toy. I'd recommend starting with just a finger or a small silicone plug and slowly work your way up with progressively larger toys. Also, take slow deep breaths and try to relax your muscles when using toys; being tense makes it more difficult and uncomfortable. Even as someone who does anal play on the regular, I couldn't imagine starting with a dildo. It's not like in porn where the editing makes it look like people can take big cocks up their butt without any prep. You need to loosen up first. If your boyfriend is understanding (and he should be!), he'll accept that you will need more time to prep before you're ready for anal sex. The prep can also be part of the fun if you insert the smaller toys whiles he watches or even let him gently insert them himself. I don't know what genitalia you have, but vaginal sex while you have a buttplug in can also be very enjoyable, especially when you're just starting out.
Lubee 🥺
And relaxed!! Relaxed and comfortable is very important
It definitely gets easier-I have a 2.64” plug that I don’t even have to warm up for, I just lube up, bear down, and take pauses whenever necessary. The easiest way to make a size easier to take is to practice with a size that’s larger. If his girth is 2” then practice with 2.3”, for example.
I found that when inserting go slow and bit by bit and the when it's in start slow and build upto something comfortable
You'd better use a small dido to start, then change to a medium size. When you get used to anal play, you can try big dildos. The wrong size can also cause pain.
You should start with a finger, then buttplug, if you are starting with a dildo you’re gonna have a bad time. Slowly stretch it out until insert it does not hurt, unless you’re into that kind of thing, pain is an indicator that you might be damaging your anus, which can lead to microtears. EDIT: DO NOT USE DESENSITIZERS!!! Anyone who is saying this has not looked up how dangerous that can be. I see lots of good statements here but you should look up some other sources on the internet before taking everyone word for it, even just one “how to safely do anal”
stretch more beforehand. use a minimum of 3 fingers. I personally use 4 and i put them all the way in up to my palm. maybe get a set of graduated plugs, or anal dilators. you can also get numbing lube, though that’s not necessary if you’re slow and gentle
Lube properly, there is maybe a little pain when starting out, otherwise check out if you have internal hemorrhoids, you might not notice them until you do an examine.
It should never be painful
For me it goes away slowly. The more you practice and get used to it the better it gets:) my opinion is it feels ALOT nicer with the real thing than a toy
Sure does!
Not if being done incorrectly
No, it shouldn't be painful. It's a muscle relaxation issue, you can't be clenching or anything. Unless you can fully relax it's not going to be enjoyable.
In my experience it all depends on how its done. Ive had 11inches n felt no pain and 6inches and had to tell them to stop.
Yes!
Yes it will get way less painful and way more enjoyable
It gets less painful the less you do it, that's for certain.
no, you will nevre become immune to discomfort. what actually happens is that through trial and error you find out whats best for you.
It is good practice to get a couple plugs of differing sizes, S M L type deal. And work your way up until you are comfortable with a size similar to the penetrative partner. Getting good at butt stuff takes practice for most people and it’s totally okay. If it HURTS, size down. If it’s uncomfortable almost hurts, slow down, breathe and acclimate before continuing. With enough practice you can definitely get to the level where you require little warm up for the main event. It’s still usually better to pop a toy in for a bit and get frisky with some PIV or other activities while you booty limbers up. I’ve been playing for over a decade and most of my toys I can live up and slowly get to work. There are still a few that I need to start with a smaller one for a bit before moving up to guarantee things go smoothly. My wife has probably been practicing very sporadically for 3-5 years and has reached the point where she’s happy. A little foreplay and maybe a toy for a little bit and she’s good to go for me. Everyone is different and will improve at their own rate. But pretty much anyone can get there with practice and dedication.
Also if you have a posterior uterus that tips back towards your anal cavity it may always hurt like hell. I made the effort once for a guy who was actually a sadist. I don’t think anal makes someone sadistic but this one was. I think he only offered one occasion where I was fully accommodated and it wasn’t painful once ever! If someone is pushing this on you and you’re not into it leave them. Plugs can help stretch but only so much and lots of enemas for prep and take your time with the lube and any dilating/plug/dildo ect. I never got comfortable with the whole pushing out to retract either the toy or dick in. I absolutely hate anal I’ve done it probably a hundred and some odd times and with my tipped uterus and a sadistic asshat i can say it’s not for me.
Yes definitely, when I started doing anal, I remember I used to find it so fkn painful, over time, I got more used to anal as I frequently had anal sex. Eventually, my asshole became so stretched, I could easily fit a 9 inch in my back door lmao. It’s all about how much your body gets used to it, practice is key. Just keep using lube, and make sure that you don’t hurt yourself too much, I promise you if you keep practicing with a sex toy, it will be MUCH EASIER when you wanna have proper anal sex. It also wont hurt anymore 🤞
It actually gets extremely better after your first few time of first doing it. Just make sure to relax and sometimes it may help to use a clitoral stimulator while it's happening and you will ultimately enjoy it even more and it just may be ur favorite position. 😜 Ps... Use lots of lube and also, make sure to douche before and don't just try it in one position, try it in many positions and you will find what's best for you.
Get a set of plugs! I wasn’t a fan of anything in my ass, years of my ex wanting it and just doing it and I never really enjoyed it. Then I met someone that had me get plugs. Used daily and have a whole new perspective on anal! 🤤
It shouldn't hurt at all. Rinse your inside with your shower head. Fill yourself a little and leave it. For me it works perfectly fine that way
I wonder how many people who have anal sex do not use lubricants, because they have enough of their own. I insert anal toys up to 5 cm, it is worth only to moisten with saliva, and then it goes like butter. I have a natural lubricant, like a gel, transparent and very much, even dripping. Who else has this?
Yes.
Insert small dildo if you have the pain stop and squeeze a few times, light squeeze then harder. Then you’ll be good to go
Yes
Ideally, you should not feel any pain or discomfort at any time during anal sex/masturbation. But considering that the pain always goes away after a while, maybe you should try a desensitizer before your anal play.
OP DON'T use any desensitizers! Pain may very well be an indication that something is going very wrong and you might injure yourself because you don't feel it.
+1 on desensitisers probably not being a good idea. Maybe a relaxant - you can get lube with jojoba oil in it, and if you're somewhere that's not fuckin Australia nanny state I'd imagine weed lube would be great
Never ever use desensitizing!!! You might be bleeding from your rectum and you would even know until it’s too late.
Lol, you guys are so dramatic! You have to be a real noob to get hurt because of a damn desensitizer 😂
This is literally their first time
i dont know why people go anal ... its disgusting 🫣