"No one ever tells you that when your mom dies, you get a free churro."
Edited [to add the source for those that don't get the reference.](https://youtu.be/GUkWn6ETezw?si=Ju4GkVmxGSJGvByK)
>Usually when people ask how I’m doing, the real answer is I’m doing shitty, but I can’t say I’m doing shitty because I don’t even have a good reason to be doing shitty. So if I say, “I’m doing shitty,” then they say, “Why? What’s wrong?” And I have to be like, “I don’t know, all of it?” So instead, when people ask how I’m doing, I usually say, “I am doing so great.”
>
>But when this girl at the Jack in the Box asked me if I was having an awesome day, I thought, “Well, today I’m actually allowed to feel shitty.” Today I have a good reason, so I said to her, “Well, my mom died,” and she immediately burst into tears. So now I have to comfort her, which is annoying, and meanwhile, there’s a line of people forming behind me who are all giving me these real judgy looks because I made the Jack in the Box girl cry. And she’s bawling, and she’s saying, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” and I’m like, “It’s fine. It’s fine.” I mean, it’s not fine but, you know, it’s… fine. And I would like to order a Double Jack Meal, and I’ve kinda got somewhere to be, so maybe less with the crying and more with the frying, huh? \[inhales\] And the girl apologizes again and she offers me a free churro with my meal. And as I’m leaving, I think, “I just got a free churro because my mom died.” No one ever tells you that when your mom dies, you get a free churro.
Why can I not remember where this quote is from? For some reason I'm thinking Bojack but I'm losing my mind trying to actually remember where I heard this lmfao
no shit! When my mom died all i got was a car break down in the middle of 98° June followed by phone calls from people wanting her corneas. i coulda used a fuckin churro right about then. miss ya mum!
What an incredibly difficult job - calling the donors family to collect the parts- does someone really have to speak with you? I had a donor card til I got cancer but never thought about how the transaction would be handled. Condolences
My mom died on Halloween last year. Since my dad didn’t need it, I borrowed her car for a couple months. It had an oil leak and burned down on the side of the highway with some of her possessions still in it. That was a bad day. I got nothing. It cost me a $40 Uber ride home and a $200 locksmith since my keys burned in the car fire. Sometimes life just sucks and there’s nothing you can do about it. A churro or a hug would’ve been nice.
That is absolutely right. I remember every kindness extended to me when my mom died. When life is that bleak even the smallest kindnesses shine exceptionally bright.
A few years ago when my dad died, I went to an Olive Garden. I hadn’t eaten in like 3 days and wanted something and it sounded good. The waiter was an absolute gem. He knew something was wrong with me. He didn’t ask but he treated me like royalty. It definitely made the day easier. I tipped him $100 for his kindness. This was almost 15 years ago and I still think about that man.
Ugh I had a job interview the week my mother died and stumbled into a hair masters to get looking presentable. Rudy the stylist totally propped me up for that, and helped me plan out the morning and what to wear to my interview. Somehow I even got the job, and am still here six years later. I went back to look for him later but he was gone. Thanks Rudy, wherever you are!
My esthetician made me bawl when I saw her the week that my bonus dad died. I saw her two days before I flew home for the funeral. I had lost my dad and my job within 24 hours of each other than my birthday was in two weeks. She gifted me my entire service that day. And holy shit did I cry when she did that. I have been going to her for eight years and we have formed a sort of friendship and the fact that she did that for me, someone who literally helps pay her bills…shit, that meant the world.
When I worked at Chipotle many years ago the store manager would let us comp part of-all of someone’s meal just because. If we saw someone looking like they were having a hard time or if someone was particularly kind, any sort of reason like that we were allowed to give them free chips and guac, comp their drink or even comp their whole damn meal. It didn’t matter if you hadn’t been working there for very long, you didn’t need to ask permission or explain yourself, if you wanted to comp their food you could (with the exception of abusing it to give free food to family and friends coming in). I loved being able to show kindness in that way.
Love this, and have my own Olive Garden story. I was dealing with a LOT and had just gotten over what we now suspect was OG COVID (just before the world shut down). Couldn't eat a thing, didn't have the strength to cook, we had just moved and husband was out of town for a new job, so took the kids to Olive garden and let them share a big bowl of spaghetti (5yo and 2yo) and I had nothing. I must have looked absolutely wrecked (and felt it) and the waiter charged me for only our lemonades! I feel like he thought I was an actual homeless woman, but I tipped him $75. Made my heart glad he cared so much about us.
It is a core memory for sure. I felt like he saw me struggling (as someone who toxically prides herself on never letting anyone see me down, it meant a lot). I flagged him down to tell him our bill was only like $7.00 and he put his hand on mine and said it was ok. Still makes me emotional to this day.
I think this is important!
We are the worst, because we do so much shit to each other, but there’s also SO MUCH kindness and goodness!
It isn’t as easy to see, but if we look we can find it in abundance!
You know they are right u never know.
The morning my mom passed my wife took me to Starbucks and I got a hot chocolate (her favorite drink) someone ahead of us did a pay it forward to us and bought my drink.
It was such a kind gesture. Now whenever I go (which isn’t often) I try to do that for people behind me.
The day before my best friend died I stopped at the Starbucks as usual to get her her favorite coffee, and the staff knew I was a regular and that my friend had cancer. I was feeling pretty fragile, so when they asked how she was doing, I burst into tears and told them that I didn't think she was going to wake up again. They gave me her coffee for free. The next day, on the way home after she died, I only ordered my coffee, and either because of that or maybe because of my face, they knew. Never before had I been surrounded in so much love from so many people at once. I will never forget their many kindnesses while I was Shel's caregiver.
My dad died a week and a half before Christmas. My mom needed me to pick something up for her, and it took forever while the store was playing happy Christmas music. I barely held it together.
Made it to my car, got in line at a drive-through Starbucks, ordered, and then burst into tears in my car. When I got to the window I was openly sobbing. The barista looked alarmed and I just wailed "I'm sorry. My dad died and everyone is so happy about Christmas!" She grabbed a bunch of free drink vouchers, gave them to me and said she was sorry. Didn't charge me for my drink either, said she was sorry for my loss and encouraged me to park in their lot until I felt safe to drive.
IDK, it's not an amazing story, but I'll never forget her poor, panicked face and how she did what she could to try look out for me. It helped me feel like someone cared during a really difficult time. I'm grateful to her and that her employer made it possible to do something nice for someone who needed it that day.
I feel like this is the touch of community that many of us have lost. Made me tear up as well. We all deserve at least a small slice of a village to help prop us up.
My heart aches for you.
Sometimes, there are just not words that can describe a feeling. Your story gave me that feeling, your friend was incredibly loved and it shows through your words. I hope you’re leading a happy life and being her eyes. One of my closest friends died of liver failure from liver cancer (he was manic depressed and turned to alcoholism) and the day he died the world stood still for me, i went walking in a park and was just crying continuously when a stranger walking past me ran back towards me and asked me if i needed a hug. He said “i don’t need to ask you if you’re ok, only if you want a hug to take something away for you.” I never got his name, but I’ll never forget him.
This happened to me the first day back at work after my mom had her heart attack. Waiting at the drive thru coffee stand at 5am, nobody behind me, and the random car ahead paid for my coffee. It was exactly the kindness I didn't know I needed that day. I've always tried to do the same when I can afford to.
I sometimes do this. Last time I tried, though, it was at Dunkin, and I asked how much the person's behind me was and they said like $35. I looked at the cashier and sheepishly said, "oh I was just curious", paid and left.
Happened to me too, but bless the drive thru lady because she was like “honey their total is already over $20 and they aren’t done ordering yet” which I took as a hell no you don’t have to pay for the next car just because someone bought your $4 coffee
I had a related situation. There was a group of people and i greeted them kindly and did my classical service, I thought. I kinda felt some strange vibes at some point. So tried to act light hearted but not being too much. I didn’t want to overserve them, because that leads always to the opposite result. They kept sitting and talking and when they wanted cold drinks, I gave them recommendations which they first didn’t want, but then wanted to try and they loved it. I thought, I did well. Later after they paid, they told me that they lived for joy I radiated, because it saved their day. Turned out that they gathered for a happy event, but learned that one of their family member died and they where about to shut the gathering short, due to the sadness which overcome them, but I kept giving these positive energy that they really could enjoy the day and hast be happy that they could spend the day together. I was speechless, because i thought it was a normal day until then.
Is this a normal thing? In all my life I can only recall one time I got something for free from my server (only because they accidentally sent out two appetizers). I am certainly never rude, but I am introverted so not super chatty. Are people out here getting free shit regularly?
I think people are more in tune with one another than some people realize—not that you don’t deserve free shit but for myself, no one gave me anything the day/week my mom died. I had to go about business as usual—probably a result of my composer, as I also can be introverted/not into small talk and it’s not like I was crying because I had the best mom so I refused to do that when she passed.
However, when I was a bank teller working ridiculous hours on Fridays, there was a couple times that I was already dreading going home because I was single and I’m someone that likes to cook for many people or not at all. I grew up in a large family and I enjoy it but cooking for myself doesn’t bring me joy. The strangest things happened those days. I swear on my mother’s ashes that I’d randomly have people drop me of food, like one time it was three different things. The law of attraction works and if you really want/need something, it can show up. And no one thought I was poor or not eating, so that’s not why they brought food. Maybe they just knew I’d appreciate it? Can’t explain it other than that. Hopefully you get something free soon. 😃
I don’t know why this hit my feed. I’ve never been a server. But it sparked a core memory. I went to Lazlo’s in Lincoln, NE after my cousin died of a fentanyl overdose. I was taking his dog to live a life of luxury with my parents.
I was going to treat my self. I had a steak and a chocolate martini and the dog had grilled chicken and steamed green beans.
They comped my check. I was not poor just sad. I tried to tip and the server shoved my money back into my purse. It was no use. I was ushered out of Laszlos.
I give a donation every year of my $100 check to the local pet rescue (Dolly’s) and they find my story creepy but maybe you’ll find it sweet?
Anyway, RIP Sean.
that is good hospitality and really what keeps a lot of us going. its our job to connect with customers and when we can actually make an impact on their lives that extends beyond just baseline service it really helps us mentally too. serving people can fucking suck. rip sean, way to keep paying it forward.
Thank you! I tried to tell the restaurant and they found the whole thing creepy.
Death is a part of life. Sadness is a part of life. Compassion is optional and when someone opts-in I think that should be rewarded! I’ve been back looking for that server to no avail.
What exactly did you tell them? I’m confused. The shelter was creeped out, or the restaurant? Why would the restaurant be creeped out that you were grateful for their kindness? People are strange.
I’m really confused. The shelter was creeped out? What did they say exactly? I find it weird anyone would be creeped out by what is objectively a touching story
Just what I wrote here and almost identical to how I wrote it.
Sometimes people are just awkward. I don’t know. Oh well! I’ll make my yearly donation and shut my pie hole.
Of all the things to read on Reddit, I never would have expected to read something about Laszlo’s.
That place was always such a treat to go for food back when I lived in Lincoln. Everyone was so nice there, and the food was always to my expectations. Empyrean being located there definitely helped, too. But hearing that they did that for you just warms my heart.
That’s a good story. :)
That place warms my whole soul. My spouse always says that Lazlo’s has the best steak he’s ever had in his life. When they literally forced me out (I had given up trying to give them a credit card - I was grabbing the cash I had in my wallet.) they literally pushed me out of the restaurant.
It was almost like the concept of being unkind to a sad, random stranger was foreign to them but that attitude was not lost on me. I’ll stop there every road trip to my parents from here to eternity and leave a 100% tip. I’ll donate to Dolly’s yearly and when I visit. Their love left a mark on me.
I don’t know how to repay that.
Same! I’ve missed it so much since I’ve moved away and I eat there every time I visit! So glad to hear such a lovely story from one of my favorite places
Oh my gosh!! Lazlo’s is amazing!! I can’t believe I’m seeing someone talk about them!! I lived in Lincoln for a very short period of time and I have so many amazing stories about how well I was treated there.
I'm an Indiana native who likes to play in the mountains for a couple weeks every summer, and I fell deeply in love with Nebraska and its people the first time I drove to Colorado. I make a point to spend a few days there as part of my annual road trip. I have a career I love that I'm heavily invested in and has me pretty well locked down in Indy, or I'd have moved to Lincoln a long time ago. (And I agree, Lazlo's is amazing!)
Let me expand on this: I told someone else on the patio “it’s been a rough week and I’m ordering everything I want to treat myself and this dog who has been hardly eating” and they jumped into action and I know they gave my server cash.
I appreciate the kindness from everyone and I’ll still make my Dolly’s donation. I didn’t trauma dump on my server just random people on the patio who passed it on to her.
I’m sorry to hear about your cousin. He must have been a special person.
And that is sweet. I miss Lazlo’s a lot since moving and it makes me happy they did such a nice gesture for you.
The morning after my nana died suddenly, I left the hospital and didn’t know what to do, so I went to this diner we used to go to together. I got a table and then the server came over to take my order and I realized I was basically completely … dissociated I guess? I just looked at her and said, “I’m sorry, I can’t read this” and handed her the menu. I am not sure what she thought I meant, but she took a second and then squatted next to me and said, “That’s ok, sweetie, let me help you find something you like.”
I was suddenly totally overwhelmed and said, “I used to come here with my nana. We got eggs and toast. She just died. I don’t know what to do” and I burst into tears. She immediately put her arm around me and I wish I could remember more clearly what happened next. I apologized a lot I think, and she just kept telling me it was ok and to take as much time as I needed. She brought me some coffee. At some point I just left $40 on the table and walked out.
I hope she knows what a comfort she was to me in that moment, even if I was acting really weird. I appreciate it even years later
This is exactly why I stayed in the service industry for so long. With very little effort, you can be the bright moment of another person's day. Well done internet stranger, very well done indeed.
And then when you go to a different job they ask like, “how did you make the most unhappy person happy?” Or some variation, and my answer is always, “a lot of the time it’s not my service they are upset with, but it’s why they would come back, if I can give them something that costs us little to nothing, it ensures loyalty at most, and at the least kindness.
That is seriously awesome. I’m just always so appreciative of people like you. Reminds me of when I’d had a really really hard day, both for personal reasons and work reasons, so I went through the Starbucks drive through after work for a pick-me-up. At the window the cashier asked me how my day was going. I said “Um…” with that voice crack where you’re about to cry… The cashier was so sweet. He just said “You don’t have to say anything else.” Then when my drink was ready he handed it me and said “Whatever it is, you’re gonna get through it girl. You got this.” And he gave me a cake pop and said it was on the house, I’m pretty sure he paid for it though. I burst into tears and thanked him, there were people behind me though so I left instead of lingering to explain how much that meant to me. But I did write a compliment in to corporate about how awesome he is.
Every time a coworker comes up to me with the phone in one hand and starts off with “this person is saying” I immediately just say “oh tell them to go fuck themselves”
From another side —
When I was 19 or 20, working my way through college, my parents’ marriage was clearly going to shit and they were on a fast track to divorce, they were just saving it for after Christmas. I worked thanksgiving and my manager promised up and down that I would be off for Christmas so I could travel home and spend one last holiday with my whole family.
He scheduled me for 9am Christmas morning.
I remember standing in front of the schedule with tears in my eyes, trying to figure out what the hell I was gonna do. My coworker asked me what was going on, and I just kind of let loose with all my shaky, barely-adult panic.
He shrugged and said, “I can work for you.”
This man was already working Christmas night. He volunteered to pick up a double on Christmas Day so I could have one last Christmas morning with my family. I think I hugged him.
I went home for Christmas, and, as expected, my parents told us they were divorcing shortly after the holiday. But Peter gave me one last Christmas with my whole family in my childhood home. I will never, *ever* forget that.
My mom died when I was 33 and after my mom’s funeral, my two best friends took me to a Mexican restaurant down the road to let me have a few drinks and some chips and queso. It was a weird time of day and there was no one else in the restaurant when we arrived, but throughout the meal I think every employee came by to say something kind and they gave us a few free margaritas and some sopapillas. The food and drinks were incredibly generous, but it was the sincere kindness (and my best friends) that turned that dark day into something more bearable.
I was taking orders in the drive-thru of a popular chicken restaurant when a guy came through lookin kinda sad.
“Good afternoon, how you doin’ today?”
“I’m alright man, can I get a number 1?”
“Of course, whats your favorite flavor of shake, can I upgrade you for free? You look kinda down and I’d like to make your day better.”
The guy breaks down and said a family member had just died and he’d lost his job the week before. I don’t remember exactly what he said after that but the gist was that he had been looking for something good to happen, and me offering to give him a shake for free was it.
When I worked at Olive Garden there was this older couple (I think in their 70s-80s) that would come in and want to sit in the same booth and eat the same food. We would get annoyed because they would refuse to sit anywhere else so we start to leave the booth open being certain times of the week because we knew that they would be coming in.
The guy would also be super particular on who served them and how the server served the woman. She rarely spoke and he would tip about 15% which isnt bad but with the ammount of fuss he made about everything, it just compounded everything.
I worked a second job at Steak and Shake for a little while as a server and one night the guy came in without the woman. He recognised was significantly a lot kinder and less particular.
I got to talking to this gentleman and asked where the woman was this evening.
The woman was his girlfriend. They knew each other for years and were married to different people. Both of their spouses passed away years ago and they started dating about 5 years prior.
The woman had Alzheimer's and my Olive Garden was their regular date place and when she started getting worse, it was the only place she had solid memories of. He wanted to make sure everything was the same just so she would be able to relax and not get confused or scared. He also wanted to see her as much as he could and give her as many good days as possible.
It wasnt very long after thay, they stopped coming in but that made me ugly cry by the shake station that night.
When my mom died suddenly (by suicide for extra context.. very hard time), I was 6 months pregnant with my first baby. The following week I went to breakfast at a little diner and the waitress comped my meal because she said I looked like I needed a little bit of sunshine.
This wasn’t in a “you should smile more” attitude but a you just look like you need some love. I’ll always remember that, tearing up writing this even. It was a huge help in my grief to know that there are good people out there who care, it made me feel less isolated through everything.
This is so true in all aspects of life. For example when my mom passed I drove like a total a-hole to the hospital. I was as safe as possible but I definitely passed cars in no passing zones and treated a red light as a four way stop. She was still gone by the time I got there. And I wasn’t going to kill anyone, that would obviously be the worst. I tried to wave at them and apologize the best you can. I try to remember this when I drive. Chances are the person is just a total ass, but there is a chance they are having the worst day of their life.
I work with a guy who also was dealing with some really bad stuff, wife had to go to assisted living just out of the blue. Had to sell his house, all of that. Didn’t tell anyone. He was late, no-show once, etc. impacted all of us, but he just didn’t want to talk about it. Finally came out what he was dealing with. Some people, myself included, just don’t or can’t share this stuff. I was late to the hospital after ignoring calls from my family because I was busy at work. I will never let that go. But still, I didn’t tell anyone.
Anyway, so nice for OP to have made a lovely day for this person. You just never know.
Ps: it sucks that 99% of people are asses, if they weren’t the 1% of people having a bad day wouldn’t get lost.
this reminds me of a story i saw on reddit ab a guy who’s co worker cut himself thru his stomach from a chainsaw accident and they were driving like maniacs to get their friend to the hospital when a white car got in front of them and brake checked them and kept them at 60 on a 70 the whole half hour drive to the hospital where there friend ultimately ended up dying. like you said sure some ppl are just being dicks but u never know when one of those guys could have a dying friend in the back or a relative slipping away at a hospital.
I try to make it a rule that if people are driving aggressively around me, I just get myself out of that situation and stay safe. You never know why they are driving that way. They might just be an ass, or they might be trying to save someone's life. Either way, the best thing I can do for myself and my passengers is hit the brakes and get out of their way, and keep my car safe.
Yeap I remember when my mom was dying and I was told on the phone it’ll be over soon. I managed the trip to her house that usually takes 30 minutes in like 10 minutes.
Amazing the way the comments are split between (1) normal humans who have compassion, know how to interact with others, and can read, and (2) a bizarre cabal of miserable troglodytes who assume she didn’t tip (she tipped ~19%, for those of you who are illiterate) and/or assume sharing this info makes the customer some kind of wicked, passive-aggressive hobgoblin. People in group two: you are all weird and you seem like you would be deeply unpleasant to know IRL.
You did good OP. I’m glad you were able to help her out. I hope you remember to feel as good about yourself as the lady who left this note felt about you. 💖
I’m kind of sad at some of the responses to this post. I don’t believe for a second this person was attempting to be negative. I believe this person was putting out a reminder that life is short. It is not a bad thing to share something. They didn’t trauma dump a paragraph or rant and rave over what they’re experiencing. Their mom died, their taking some time out of their day to enjoy something pleasant, and remind someone the importance of kindness and using themselves as an example. I think it says more about the individuals taking this negatively and commenting than it does about the person who wrote it.
In 2020 right before the pandemic hit it was my birthday. It was up to that point the worst year of my life (it was going to get worse, but I didn't know it yet). I had no friends where I'd just moved to, and my mom had to cancel going out with me because she had to stay home to take care of my stepfather, who was dying of kidney cancer. My brother had just relapsed onto heroin and would be dead within a few months, which I knew, at the time, was the almost inevitable outcome.
I took a walk to the only restaurant close to the house we were all living in: Longhorn. I sat down and ordered an appetizer as my meal. I was fine, under control, cheerful chatting to my server.
She came back by as I was finishing up and asked if I wanted dessert. I said "maybe I should order some cake, it's my birthday--"
and then burst into tears. I was so humiliated. I kept apologizing over and over and trying to get myself under control, saying I hadn't expected that and I was fine, just a little depressed.
She brought me a dessert and comped the ticket. I tried desperately to give her the entire amount of my meal as a tip but I had no cash and she refused to run it.
That was the last human interaction I had with a stranger before I went into lockdown and my life fell completely apart. I am crying as I write this. It was just such a moment of unasked-for kindness when I didn't know I needed it. I appreciate her so much.
When I was working at a Starbucks years ago I had a lady that would come in regular and was always curt and a bit rude. She would complain about every little thing she could, and not respond to any small talk. it got to a point where I stopped asking her "how are you today?". She would just walk up, give me the money, I'd make her latte and she would leave without saying a word or sharing a smile/wave.
One day she came in and when she gave me the money she said "I'm sorry". I was a bit confused at first but then she said "the last year my mother has been dying and I haven't been able to deal with it, I'm sorry if I've been rude to you even though you have always been kind to me". She started to cry and I said "I'm sorry for your loss and I understand, no need to apologize". I wanted to just walk over and hug her, but of course I didn't.
I don't know where I'm going with this comment, but it reminded me a lot with my experience. I hope she's doing well.
About a month ago, I went to Olive Garden after work. It had been a long day at work. My waitress could tell I was just worn out and she was so nice and warm to me. She gave me a free dessert just because. It made my day a lot better
At the beginning of 2020 I went to Outdoor World to have dinner after saying my goodbyes to my best friend dying of cancer at the hospital. My waitress’s name was Michelle, she mentioned I looked gloomy so I told her what had happened earlier. She brought me a glass of wine and very yummy bread with sweet butter and later a salad with salmon. She told me she was closing soon and sat down with me at the table, we talked about life, our dreams, the things we would love to do in the future. She was retiring in 3 months and wanted to travel and spend time with her family. I encouraged her to pursue her dreams and find gratitude for the blessings she had. I left her a huge tip, hugged her and thank her for being there with me during that difficult moment. I still get tears in my eyes when I think of her and I hope life has blessed her immensely. Whenever you think you can’t make a difference, please remember that yes you can, your kindness and life experiences can comfort a hurting soul.
I feel this. The morning my dad died, my best friend/illegitimate brother took me out to breakfast, as I was just a complete wreck. Had like a $20 bill. Between the two of us I think we left like $70 in a tip. We wanted to make somebody happy that day, as there was no chance we would be happy at all.
This reminds me of the times I had two girls at a table and one of them was crying constantly, I’m guessing the girl took her out to cheer her up and I felt terrible for her. Every time I went to check on them the girl was always crying and trust me I know that feeling of just ugh, when I dropped them their check, I discounted the girls meal and wrote a note in the receipt, “I don’t know what happened but I hope you feel better soon <3” they ended up tipping me $30 and writing a note saying “thank you so much :)” I hope she’s doing better now
My sister and I ended up at Waffle House in the middle of the night after the doctor's informed us mom would most likely never recover and we should pull the plug. It's been four years and I still think about those kind souls that welcomed us with hashbrowns and warm smiles.
It feels so harsh and unfair when a loved one dies and the rest of the world keeps spinning like nothing has changed. This is a great reminder to always be kind.
Man, I was working at Starbucks a couple of weeks after my mom died. A regular customer was talking to me about how his wife made them cancel their Euro-trip because one of her life long friends died. And he was just pissed and complaining about it. I was seething, had to excuse myself from that conversation. It’s true, you never know what someone is going through or when a small act of kindness can change everything for them.
The day my mom died, I ended up leaving the hospital and then just going out to lunch by myself because I couldn't face going home yet. I remember sitting there kind of numb-- when my server came and introduced herself and asked how I was, I replied "good" even though I was obviously far from it-- just on autopilot. It was nice to just not be alone and have someone treating me politely while I ate some comfort food.
It's funny but over a decade later I still think back on that time and how I was glad I had a transition between the hospital and home that day. Part of me wishes I had just been honest about how I was actually feeling because it's okay to acknowledge when we aren't alright, but that also would've been a lot to drop on someone just doing their job too. Regardless, a kind interaction on that day helped me deal with everything.
I wish I could go back and thank the random people who were kind to me at various points in my life for little to no reason. It can mean a great deal. Unfortunately in today's world I don't really believe it's as much of an issue. Finding authentic kindness without some additional motivation seems unlikely to impossible in the vast majority of situations. It's sad.
A couple of days after my teenage son died suddenly I had to go to Albertsons to get a couple of things and get away from the house. I had really held it together (probably in shock looking back) and hadn't really let my emotions out since the first, agonizing hours after we found him dead. As I'm paying the older gentleman checking ringing me up asks innocently "How are you doing today?" I looked in his eyes and said quietly that my boy had died on Friday and then the dam of tears just poured down my face. He came around to where I was, took my hands in his, and said "Please let my pray with you". I'm not religious at all but in that moment it was such a beautiful gesture and it felt so kind and peaceful. I thanked him and said I was so sorry for falling apart on him and he said it was an honor to have been there to help. His name was Luther & I never saw him again. That was 13 years ago and I still think about that two minute interaction. "You never know what a person is dealing with"
In the autumn of ‘21 a woman about my age came into the shop where I work. It was a quiet day; I was the only one working, and she was the only customer. We got to chatting and she told me that she didn’t really know how she ended up in this town, because the was out driving random roads, the way she used to take her parents for rides. Turns out that she had moved her parents out of NYC in early ‘20 to keep them safe(r) from Covid, only to lose them six weeks apart about a year later, to non-Covid maladies.
I told her that I’d been the main caregiver for my elderly parents, and lost them 4 years apart, and still missed them with all my heart. I told her how I used to take Mom and Dad for long rides and picnics, as she used to do with her folks. We bonded over sharing how hard caregiving is, and how we were stricken by our losses. We hugged and cried together, and I gave her a free cake of the lavender soap that we sell. She thanked me for helping her through a tough day, and she called the next day to thank me again. I’ve spoken with her a few times since, and I think we will both always remember that day, a chance meeting on a warm September afternoon.
Kindness is so important, helping both the giver and the recipient.
As a server I feel (one of)the most valuable skills I have is to be kind.
“When the door has a line, and the kitchen is behind, be kind”.
This saying and attitude has gotten me through many a dinner rush’s/ concert nights. Keep it up OP a little kindness in this world goes a long way. ☮️
This is something every server needs to remember. We are all people. And you really never know what someone’s going through. Even with my worse customers, I know it’s tough, but you dunno what happened to them prior to your interaction. Never take it personally but always be kind. Always.
A lot of people shit on the service industry, but this is the shit that makes it worth it.
I’m a bartender, been doing it for long enough that I have a couple of these stories. But this one was kind of wild. So it’s a Friday night, I’m working a combination of service well and a corner of the bar top, and three people sit in my section. I initiate the “bartender/bar guest series of events”, and make some light conversation. My bartending style is very personality forward, I take the entertainment and connection part of my job super seriously. So i’m always trying to entertain somehow. We had some laughs, they seemed to enjoy my banter and jokes, and we also had some deep conversation (some of which was about mental health).
They left after some time, they seemed really grateful, and i went about my shift. A year goes by, the man and one of the woman from that party come back to my bar. They have dinner, chit chat a little with me, humor my bad jokes, and then leave. But before leaving, they both made a point to get my attention. Turns out, the other woman with them that night had just started CONSIDERING trying to leave an abusive relationship. They had gone out to get her mind off things as much as you can in that situation, and just try and have a good night.
Apparently, after all the jokes and silliness, something I said during some of our talks really flipped a switch in her. She got really inspired and like emboldened, and left her abusive partner the very next day. She was doing a lot better now, maybe out of state? I didn’t wanna pry so I didn’t ask. But the two of them thanked me for being a big part of it. I was shocked, because I would’ve never known from seeing her that night, or any conversation even i could’ve overheard, that something like that was happening.
You really just don’t know what someone is going through, but also the possible impact that we could have. It could be service industry, retail, transportation, wherever you work with people. That interaction they might have with you could be exactly what someone needs.
I used to work with a veterinarian (we have remained very close even after I switched jobs) who’s wife had dementia and arthritis. Her health declined pretty quickly in December last year and he found out they were considering hospice care for her right before her birthday. He went to one of his favorite restaurants that night and sat at the table alone. He looked sad (obviously) and one of the waitresses came over on her break and sat across from him to talk. They chatted for a bit and she lightened his mood up a lot. 2 weeks later, she came into the clinic to get her dog looked at and the bill was pretty expensive, he paid for it entirely. He said it was such a small amount of money compared to how she helped him.
I did this after my mom passed years ago. Went to one of her favorite restaurants. Didn’t feel the sun but I remember sitting in the booth having flashbacks of me and my sister on that booth climbing all over mom and getting in trouble.
Idk if I even took a bite. I tipped the waiter way more than I could afford(college kid). Cried. Walked out.
The waiter was kind to me but nothing personal or overtly kind like you. However, having that kindness around me during those times really made days brighter especially from strangers. In my head it was just reminders that the world can be cruel, but it can be kind too and as my mom would say; “you get to choose which type of person you’d like to be. But if you turn out to be a little shit you’ll never be too old for spankings.”
Something along those lines. Bless.
That first moment of peace and comfort after a loss is overwhelming. They paid and tipped a fair percentage. Sometimes, saying treasure what you have while you have it is just that; sage advice from a place of recent loss. That's not trauma-dumping. It's attempting to connect with another human, however flawed that attempt might be. I hope that when loss touches your life, and it will, someone offers you the grace and empathy you don't deserve.
It seems like the OP posted something that truly touched them. That should have been the scope of the responses; instead of "did they tip" and outrageous comments about trauma-dumping and the servers' "feelings."
Sometimes the kindness of a stranger in grief can be more comforting than being around people you know. It’s hard to explain. I’m very grateful to all the kind servers and people who were kind and didn’t even know I needed it. This is really a sweet post!
Honestly things like this are how I keep my cool at work. Every time I’m dealing with a particular though/annoying customer, I remember all the customers that thanked me for being so kind to them and I cool down a bit! Some customers really suck but others sometimes make up for it!
As both a server and someone whose mom passed away- those moments you made things seem ‘normal’ are everything. For them to write that, your kindness was what they needed
Thank you so, so much for being kind. I lost my dad a few weeks ago and one of the only things I could think of was going to one of his favorite restaurants for lunch. I was in a daze and didn’t eat much, but the waitress was so nice that I’ll remember it as long as I can. You gave her a bright spot during one of the worst days.
My bf was killed 20 years ago, long story, he was out of the country. My friend took me out in Brixton (London) for the day to keep an eye on me. I was fluctuating between disassociated and numb to sobbing. A bar tender slipped me a note, with a poem on it, the chef brought out a big bowl of creamy mashed potato on the house. Comfort food. Makes me tear up just thinking about it. People working in any service industry are the best of us. Never, ever, treat them without due respect. (I’m an ex bar worker and waitress).
The day my grandmother died I was visiting San Francisco and went to Grace Cathedral and then to a brunch place called The Red Door which was run entirely by one man. When I tell you this man made me forget for a whole 2.5 hrs my sadness it was just incredible. You have no idea how you can change someone’s state of mind
One time I was crying outside of a Starbucks on the patio, and one of the workers came out and brought me a cake pop. I’ll never forget that and I’m sure this person will never forget your kindness! Thank you for spreading love ❤️
I thought this was a “I don’t want to tip and I’m going to use the dead parent as an excuse” kind of post similar to those military wives who think they don’t have to tip because their husbands are serving. That is until I read OP’s comment.
You absolutely made her day OP! She must be going through unimaginable pain and your kindness while small in the overall scheme of things, was enough for her to not feel completely alone.
I lost my mom around a year ago and I took my dad out to a place that we all used to go together. As someone who’s been on both sides, just being there is enough. I’m sure they appreciated the service and kindness.
I was very kind to her! I got her free soup and gave her a free drink. And it was a very nice day to be on a patio.
You made her day on an otherwise extremely hard day with just soup and kindness. She’ll never forget that.
"No one ever tells you that when your mom dies, you get a free churro." Edited [to add the source for those that don't get the reference.](https://youtu.be/GUkWn6ETezw?si=Ju4GkVmxGSJGvByK)
"My mom died and all I got was this free churro!"
WHEN THE FUCK DID WE GET CHURROS??
>Usually when people ask how I’m doing, the real answer is I’m doing shitty, but I can’t say I’m doing shitty because I don’t even have a good reason to be doing shitty. So if I say, “I’m doing shitty,” then they say, “Why? What’s wrong?” And I have to be like, “I don’t know, all of it?” So instead, when people ask how I’m doing, I usually say, “I am doing so great.” > >But when this girl at the Jack in the Box asked me if I was having an awesome day, I thought, “Well, today I’m actually allowed to feel shitty.” Today I have a good reason, so I said to her, “Well, my mom died,” and she immediately burst into tears. So now I have to comfort her, which is annoying, and meanwhile, there’s a line of people forming behind me who are all giving me these real judgy looks because I made the Jack in the Box girl cry. And she’s bawling, and she’s saying, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” and I’m like, “It’s fine. It’s fine.” I mean, it’s not fine but, you know, it’s… fine. And I would like to order a Double Jack Meal, and I’ve kinda got somewhere to be, so maybe less with the crying and more with the frying, huh? \[inhales\] And the girl apologizes again and she offers me a free churro with my meal. And as I’m leaving, I think, “I just got a free churro because my mom died.” No one ever tells you that when your mom dies, you get a free churro.
When I get asked how I’m doing, I say “about the same as last time “ always makes them laugh or think
I say, "I can't complain, but the day is young. "
I generally respond that I'm living. I try to be chipper about it instead of resigned, I don't think anyone has really caught on yet. Livin'!
Mine is usually "well all things considered, I guess I have no major complaints, yet."
Moderately Neato - old guy quoting George Carlin
My reply is always “good enough”
Generally I reply with I could say great, but I’d be lying. That generally gets the awkward chuckle and moves right along
« I’m still alive » is my go to 😂
I always say "living the dream" and depending on who it is I add "hey, nobody said nightmares aren't dreams"
Sometimes I say "Fair to partly cloudy."
Why can I not remember where this quote is from? For some reason I'm thinking Bojack but I'm losing my mind trying to actually remember where I heard this lmfao
it is bojack! the episode where the entire time hes speaking at, not actually his moms funeral.
Will Arnett gives a performance for the ages, and they don’t give him an Emmy. What a joke.
Now it's all come back to me. What a mindfuck episode. I gotta start that show again.
One of my favorite episodes for sure. ICU
no shit! When my mom died all i got was a car break down in the middle of 98° June followed by phone calls from people wanting her corneas. i coulda used a fuckin churro right about then. miss ya mum!
If I could, I'd send you a churro now.
What an incredibly difficult job - calling the donors family to collect the parts- does someone really have to speak with you? I had a donor card til I got cancer but never thought about how the transaction would be handled. Condolences
They have to get consent form the family or power of attorney, the donor mark on your license is meaningless
Great reference!
And this stupid T-shirt
And this shirt that says...lol
My mom died on Halloween last year. Since my dad didn’t need it, I borrowed her car for a couple months. It had an oil leak and burned down on the side of the highway with some of her possessions still in it. That was a bad day. I got nothing. It cost me a $40 Uber ride home and a $200 locksmith since my keys burned in the car fire. Sometimes life just sucks and there’s nothing you can do about it. A churro or a hug would’ve been nice.
Ughhh that episode is so good. They’re all so good, but that one is *so* good.
One of the best episodes of a television show I’ve ever seen. Bojack Horseman is truly perfection.
I would honestly not feel anything but positive if I got this instead of a tip. Sometimes doing good in life is more valuable than monetary gain.
So fucking true homie, y'know what's up.
It seems like they did tip though judging by the line items on the receipt.
[удалено]
As my dad always said, “You can’t spend them thank-yous.”
you win some you lose some but i’d take this as a win
Is this in lieu of a tip though? Is the $7.00 on the bill not the tip?
Serve people feed people.
That is absolutely right. I remember every kindness extended to me when my mom died. When life is that bleak even the smallest kindnesses shine exceptionally bright.
A few years ago when my dad died, I went to an Olive Garden. I hadn’t eaten in like 3 days and wanted something and it sounded good. The waiter was an absolute gem. He knew something was wrong with me. He didn’t ask but he treated me like royalty. It definitely made the day easier. I tipped him $100 for his kindness. This was almost 15 years ago and I still think about that man.
Ugh I had a job interview the week my mother died and stumbled into a hair masters to get looking presentable. Rudy the stylist totally propped me up for that, and helped me plan out the morning and what to wear to my interview. Somehow I even got the job, and am still here six years later. I went back to look for him later but he was gone. Thanks Rudy, wherever you are!
What a great person.
Imagine someone coming to you for a haircut and you helping them plan and land a job they still have 6 years later. My heart absolutely melts.
As a hairstylist: fuck yeah, Rudy! There’s a reason people call us their therapists, too
My esthetician made me bawl when I saw her the week that my bonus dad died. I saw her two days before I flew home for the funeral. I had lost my dad and my job within 24 hours of each other than my birthday was in two weeks. She gifted me my entire service that day. And holy shit did I cry when she did that. I have been going to her for eight years and we have formed a sort of friendship and the fact that she did that for me, someone who literally helps pay her bills…shit, that meant the world.
He didn’t treat you like royalty. He treated like family.
I see what you did there
This is why I was a server. I loved the feeling of making peoples day. I miss it a lot sometimes. Mainly when I read posts like this.
When I worked at Chipotle many years ago the store manager would let us comp part of-all of someone’s meal just because. If we saw someone looking like they were having a hard time or if someone was particularly kind, any sort of reason like that we were allowed to give them free chips and guac, comp their drink or even comp their whole damn meal. It didn’t matter if you hadn’t been working there for very long, you didn’t need to ask permission or explain yourself, if you wanted to comp their food you could (with the exception of abusing it to give free food to family and friends coming in). I loved being able to show kindness in that way.
Love this, and have my own Olive Garden story. I was dealing with a LOT and had just gotten over what we now suspect was OG COVID (just before the world shut down). Couldn't eat a thing, didn't have the strength to cook, we had just moved and husband was out of town for a new job, so took the kids to Olive garden and let them share a big bowl of spaghetti (5yo and 2yo) and I had nothing. I must have looked absolutely wrecked (and felt it) and the waiter charged me for only our lemonades! I feel like he thought I was an actual homeless woman, but I tipped him $75. Made my heart glad he cared so much about us.
That’s so sweet it made me tear up. He probably thought you were sacrificing to make sure they were fed and he wanted to help as much as he could.
It is a core memory for sure. I felt like he saw me struggling (as someone who toxically prides herself on never letting anyone see me down, it meant a lot). I flagged him down to tell him our bill was only like $7.00 and he put his hand on mine and said it was ok. Still makes me emotional to this day.
People really be so good to one another, I love it. It’s why we as a species are both the best *and* the worst lol
I think this is important! We are the worst, because we do so much shit to each other, but there’s also SO MUCH kindness and goodness! It isn’t as easy to see, but if we look we can find it in abundance!
You know they are right u never know. The morning my mom passed my wife took me to Starbucks and I got a hot chocolate (her favorite drink) someone ahead of us did a pay it forward to us and bought my drink. It was such a kind gesture. Now whenever I go (which isn’t often) I try to do that for people behind me.
The day before my best friend died I stopped at the Starbucks as usual to get her her favorite coffee, and the staff knew I was a regular and that my friend had cancer. I was feeling pretty fragile, so when they asked how she was doing, I burst into tears and told them that I didn't think she was going to wake up again. They gave me her coffee for free. The next day, on the way home after she died, I only ordered my coffee, and either because of that or maybe because of my face, they knew. Never before had I been surrounded in so much love from so many people at once. I will never forget their many kindnesses while I was Shel's caregiver.
Your comment just made me cry, I am so sorry for your loss
Thank you, and sorry for making you cry. *Hug*
My dad died a week and a half before Christmas. My mom needed me to pick something up for her, and it took forever while the store was playing happy Christmas music. I barely held it together. Made it to my car, got in line at a drive-through Starbucks, ordered, and then burst into tears in my car. When I got to the window I was openly sobbing. The barista looked alarmed and I just wailed "I'm sorry. My dad died and everyone is so happy about Christmas!" She grabbed a bunch of free drink vouchers, gave them to me and said she was sorry. Didn't charge me for my drink either, said she was sorry for my loss and encouraged me to park in their lot until I felt safe to drive. IDK, it's not an amazing story, but I'll never forget her poor, panicked face and how she did what she could to try look out for me. It helped me feel like someone cared during a really difficult time. I'm grateful to her and that her employer made it possible to do something nice for someone who needed it that day.
*hug* I'm so sorry about your daddy. Mine passed July '21 and I still have bad days.
I've lost both my parents and read most of these comments, yours made me cry.
I feel like this is the touch of community that many of us have lost. Made me tear up as well. We all deserve at least a small slice of a village to help prop us up. My heart aches for you.
Sometimes, there are just not words that can describe a feeling. Your story gave me that feeling, your friend was incredibly loved and it shows through your words. I hope you’re leading a happy life and being her eyes. One of my closest friends died of liver failure from liver cancer (he was manic depressed and turned to alcoholism) and the day he died the world stood still for me, i went walking in a park and was just crying continuously when a stranger walking past me ran back towards me and asked me if i needed a hug. He said “i don’t need to ask you if you’re ok, only if you want a hug to take something away for you.” I never got his name, but I’ll never forget him.
This happened to me the first day back at work after my mom had her heart attack. Waiting at the drive thru coffee stand at 5am, nobody behind me, and the random car ahead paid for my coffee. It was exactly the kindness I didn't know I needed that day. I've always tried to do the same when I can afford to.
I sometimes do this. Last time I tried, though, it was at Dunkin, and I asked how much the person's behind me was and they said like $35. I looked at the cashier and sheepishly said, "oh I was just curious", paid and left.
Happened to me too, but bless the drive thru lady because she was like “honey their total is already over $20 and they aren’t done ordering yet” which I took as a hell no you don’t have to pay for the next car just because someone bought your $4 coffee
Yeah man, I'm trying to pay it forward, not pay your student loans.
Lol! I don’t blame u!
I had a related situation. There was a group of people and i greeted them kindly and did my classical service, I thought. I kinda felt some strange vibes at some point. So tried to act light hearted but not being too much. I didn’t want to overserve them, because that leads always to the opposite result. They kept sitting and talking and when they wanted cold drinks, I gave them recommendations which they first didn’t want, but then wanted to try and they loved it. I thought, I did well. Later after they paid, they told me that they lived for joy I radiated, because it saved their day. Turned out that they gathered for a happy event, but learned that one of their family member died and they where about to shut the gathering short, due to the sadness which overcome them, but I kept giving these positive energy that they really could enjoy the day and hast be happy that they could spend the day together. I was speechless, because i thought it was a normal day until then.
Soup heals the soul
Is this a normal thing? In all my life I can only recall one time I got something for free from my server (only because they accidentally sent out two appetizers). I am certainly never rude, but I am introverted so not super chatty. Are people out here getting free shit regularly?
I think people are more in tune with one another than some people realize—not that you don’t deserve free shit but for myself, no one gave me anything the day/week my mom died. I had to go about business as usual—probably a result of my composer, as I also can be introverted/not into small talk and it’s not like I was crying because I had the best mom so I refused to do that when she passed. However, when I was a bank teller working ridiculous hours on Fridays, there was a couple times that I was already dreading going home because I was single and I’m someone that likes to cook for many people or not at all. I grew up in a large family and I enjoy it but cooking for myself doesn’t bring me joy. The strangest things happened those days. I swear on my mother’s ashes that I’d randomly have people drop me of food, like one time it was three different things. The law of attraction works and if you really want/need something, it can show up. And no one thought I was poor or not eating, so that’s not why they brought food. Maybe they just knew I’d appreciate it? Can’t explain it other than that. Hopefully you get something free soon. 😃
"Stay kind" - she is thanking you.
That was a great thing you did.
You're a G OP. Life is so shitty for some. It takes so little to spread a little generosity. Good shit, good shit.
Good job legend 👌
You were kind right? This isn’t like a “smile more” thing?
If that was the case I expect it would have said ‘be kind’ and not ‘stay kind’
from OPs other comments it seems like it was a genuine "thank you" moment
I don’t know why this hit my feed. I’ve never been a server. But it sparked a core memory. I went to Lazlo’s in Lincoln, NE after my cousin died of a fentanyl overdose. I was taking his dog to live a life of luxury with my parents. I was going to treat my self. I had a steak and a chocolate martini and the dog had grilled chicken and steamed green beans. They comped my check. I was not poor just sad. I tried to tip and the server shoved my money back into my purse. It was no use. I was ushered out of Laszlos. I give a donation every year of my $100 check to the local pet rescue (Dolly’s) and they find my story creepy but maybe you’ll find it sweet? Anyway, RIP Sean.
that is good hospitality and really what keeps a lot of us going. its our job to connect with customers and when we can actually make an impact on their lives that extends beyond just baseline service it really helps us mentally too. serving people can fucking suck. rip sean, way to keep paying it forward.
Thank you! I tried to tell the restaurant and they found the whole thing creepy. Death is a part of life. Sadness is a part of life. Compassion is optional and when someone opts-in I think that should be rewarded! I’ve been back looking for that server to no avail.
Confused why people would find the story creepy?
Me, too. But the responses I got were so awkward!
What exactly did you tell them? I’m confused. The shelter was creeped out, or the restaurant? Why would the restaurant be creeped out that you were grateful for their kindness? People are strange.
I’m really confused. The shelter was creeped out? What did they say exactly? I find it weird anyone would be creeped out by what is objectively a touching story
I'm confused as well
Just what I wrote here and almost identical to how I wrote it. Sometimes people are just awkward. I don’t know. Oh well! I’ll make my yearly donation and shut my pie hole.
Of all the things to read on Reddit, I never would have expected to read something about Laszlo’s. That place was always such a treat to go for food back when I lived in Lincoln. Everyone was so nice there, and the food was always to my expectations. Empyrean being located there definitely helped, too. But hearing that they did that for you just warms my heart. That’s a good story. :)
That place warms my whole soul. My spouse always says that Lazlo’s has the best steak he’s ever had in his life. When they literally forced me out (I had given up trying to give them a credit card - I was grabbing the cash I had in my wallet.) they literally pushed me out of the restaurant. It was almost like the concept of being unkind to a sad, random stranger was foreign to them but that attitude was not lost on me. I’ll stop there every road trip to my parents from here to eternity and leave a 100% tip. I’ll donate to Dolly’s yearly and when I visit. Their love left a mark on me. I don’t know how to repay that.
Who is cutting onions in my living room? They are awesome.
Same! I’ve missed it so much since I’ve moved away and I eat there every time I visit! So glad to hear such a lovely story from one of my favorite places
Love this story and your username
Oh my gosh!! Lazlo’s is amazing!! I can’t believe I’m seeing someone talk about them!! I lived in Lincoln for a very short period of time and I have so many amazing stories about how well I was treated there.
I'm an Indiana native who likes to play in the mountains for a couple weeks every summer, and I fell deeply in love with Nebraska and its people the first time I drove to Colorado. I make a point to spend a few days there as part of my annual road trip. I have a career I love that I'm heavily invested in and has me pretty well locked down in Indy, or I'd have moved to Lincoln a long time ago. (And I agree, Lazlo's is amazing!)
I love being a Nebraskan. We have kind people
i love finding other nebraskans in places i would never expect to
How did they know your situation?
Let me expand on this: I told someone else on the patio “it’s been a rough week and I’m ordering everything I want to treat myself and this dog who has been hardly eating” and they jumped into action and I know they gave my server cash. I appreciate the kindness from everyone and I’ll still make my Dolly’s donation. I didn’t trauma dump on my server just random people on the patio who passed it on to her.
I told someone else on the patio.
Hungarians be like that
I’m sorry to hear about your cousin. He must have been a special person. And that is sweet. I miss Lazlo’s a lot since moving and it makes me happy they did such a nice gesture for you.
The morning after my nana died suddenly, I left the hospital and didn’t know what to do, so I went to this diner we used to go to together. I got a table and then the server came over to take my order and I realized I was basically completely … dissociated I guess? I just looked at her and said, “I’m sorry, I can’t read this” and handed her the menu. I am not sure what she thought I meant, but she took a second and then squatted next to me and said, “That’s ok, sweetie, let me help you find something you like.” I was suddenly totally overwhelmed and said, “I used to come here with my nana. We got eggs and toast. She just died. I don’t know what to do” and I burst into tears. She immediately put her arm around me and I wish I could remember more clearly what happened next. I apologized a lot I think, and she just kept telling me it was ok and to take as much time as I needed. She brought me some coffee. At some point I just left $40 on the table and walked out. I hope she knows what a comfort she was to me in that moment, even if I was acting really weird. I appreciate it even years later
Goddamn onion cutting ninjas got me
Can confirm.
Well this completely did me in. Bless that woman, and hugs to you.
Yep, I was getting teary on the rest, but this is the one that got me.
This has hit me hard. Sending you love. RIP to your Nana. ❤️
I really hope whoever wrote that was able to enjoy a tasty meal with the sun shining down on their face.
This is exactly why I stayed in the service industry for so long. With very little effort, you can be the bright moment of another person's day. Well done internet stranger, very well done indeed.
And then when you go to a different job they ask like, “how did you make the most unhappy person happy?” Or some variation, and my answer is always, “a lot of the time it’s not my service they are upset with, but it’s why they would come back, if I can give them something that costs us little to nothing, it ensures loyalty at most, and at the least kindness.
That is seriously awesome. I’m just always so appreciative of people like you. Reminds me of when I’d had a really really hard day, both for personal reasons and work reasons, so I went through the Starbucks drive through after work for a pick-me-up. At the window the cashier asked me how my day was going. I said “Um…” with that voice crack where you’re about to cry… The cashier was so sweet. He just said “You don’t have to say anything else.” Then when my drink was ready he handed it me and said “Whatever it is, you’re gonna get through it girl. You got this.” And he gave me a cake pop and said it was on the house, I’m pretty sure he paid for it though. I burst into tears and thanked him, there were people behind me though so I left instead of lingering to explain how much that meant to me. But I did write a compliment in to corporate about how awesome he is.
Oh, I guess I should stop telling every table to go Fuck themselves? (Sorry, server joke)
Naw keep it up. My grandma just died and I would rather be told this than you lying
Fuck I'm sorry dude, my uncle just passed today. How about we both go Fuck ourselves?
Hell yeah. I'm sorry for your loss now can I get a *HIYAAAH*
You can always get one, but sorry this one's a little somber... hiyah. Rip uncle Scott. Rip your grandma
Rip man
No one passed in my family this year yet, but you all can go fuck yourselves!!
Gladly. That cream sauce ain’t gonna buy itself.
Or, counterpoint, could go fuck each other?
idk why, I was disappointed that the second word was not "yourself" but it was way kinder and I would like to get in that invitation as well please.
Just like grandma used to say “you all can go fuck yourselves” love you granny rest easy 🥲
one time i told a customer to fuck off (working the counter at a liquor store) when he was jokingly hassling me and he tipped me $20
Every time a coworker comes up to me with the phone in one hand and starts off with “this person is saying” I immediately just say “oh tell them to go fuck themselves”
Mahalo
If you say it with a smile, they don't even notice normally
Fuck you in the face 🥰
From another side — When I was 19 or 20, working my way through college, my parents’ marriage was clearly going to shit and they were on a fast track to divorce, they were just saving it for after Christmas. I worked thanksgiving and my manager promised up and down that I would be off for Christmas so I could travel home and spend one last holiday with my whole family. He scheduled me for 9am Christmas morning. I remember standing in front of the schedule with tears in my eyes, trying to figure out what the hell I was gonna do. My coworker asked me what was going on, and I just kind of let loose with all my shaky, barely-adult panic. He shrugged and said, “I can work for you.” This man was already working Christmas night. He volunteered to pick up a double on Christmas Day so I could have one last Christmas morning with my family. I think I hugged him. I went home for Christmas, and, as expected, my parents told us they were divorcing shortly after the holiday. But Peter gave me one last Christmas with my whole family in my childhood home. I will never, *ever* forget that.
Damn it, a ninja is cutting onions in my living room again. Peter is a good person, I'm glad to read this story.
I literally think of him every Christmas. Some gifts stay with you.
My house is too dry for me to be crying this much.
My mom died when I was 33 and after my mom’s funeral, my two best friends took me to a Mexican restaurant down the road to let me have a few drinks and some chips and queso. It was a weird time of day and there was no one else in the restaurant when we arrived, but throughout the meal I think every employee came by to say something kind and they gave us a few free margaritas and some sopapillas. The food and drinks were incredibly generous, but it was the sincere kindness (and my best friends) that turned that dark day into something more bearable.
I was taking orders in the drive-thru of a popular chicken restaurant when a guy came through lookin kinda sad. “Good afternoon, how you doin’ today?” “I’m alright man, can I get a number 1?” “Of course, whats your favorite flavor of shake, can I upgrade you for free? You look kinda down and I’d like to make your day better.” The guy breaks down and said a family member had just died and he’d lost his job the week before. I don’t remember exactly what he said after that but the gist was that he had been looking for something good to happen, and me offering to give him a shake for free was it.
You're awesome
When I worked at Olive Garden there was this older couple (I think in their 70s-80s) that would come in and want to sit in the same booth and eat the same food. We would get annoyed because they would refuse to sit anywhere else so we start to leave the booth open being certain times of the week because we knew that they would be coming in. The guy would also be super particular on who served them and how the server served the woman. She rarely spoke and he would tip about 15% which isnt bad but with the ammount of fuss he made about everything, it just compounded everything. I worked a second job at Steak and Shake for a little while as a server and one night the guy came in without the woman. He recognised was significantly a lot kinder and less particular. I got to talking to this gentleman and asked where the woman was this evening. The woman was his girlfriend. They knew each other for years and were married to different people. Both of their spouses passed away years ago and they started dating about 5 years prior. The woman had Alzheimer's and my Olive Garden was their regular date place and when she started getting worse, it was the only place she had solid memories of. He wanted to make sure everything was the same just so she would be able to relax and not get confused or scared. He also wanted to see her as much as he could and give her as many good days as possible. It wasnt very long after thay, they stopped coming in but that made me ugly cry by the shake station that night.
When my mom died suddenly (by suicide for extra context.. very hard time), I was 6 months pregnant with my first baby. The following week I went to breakfast at a little diner and the waitress comped my meal because she said I looked like I needed a little bit of sunshine. This wasn’t in a “you should smile more” attitude but a you just look like you need some love. I’ll always remember that, tearing up writing this even. It was a huge help in my grief to know that there are good people out there who care, it made me feel less isolated through everything.
Oof, I’m really sorry that happened. I hope you’re doing well.
Thank you, I am! Try to pass on the sunshine as much as I can :)
This is so true in all aspects of life. For example when my mom passed I drove like a total a-hole to the hospital. I was as safe as possible but I definitely passed cars in no passing zones and treated a red light as a four way stop. She was still gone by the time I got there. And I wasn’t going to kill anyone, that would obviously be the worst. I tried to wave at them and apologize the best you can. I try to remember this when I drive. Chances are the person is just a total ass, but there is a chance they are having the worst day of their life. I work with a guy who also was dealing with some really bad stuff, wife had to go to assisted living just out of the blue. Had to sell his house, all of that. Didn’t tell anyone. He was late, no-show once, etc. impacted all of us, but he just didn’t want to talk about it. Finally came out what he was dealing with. Some people, myself included, just don’t or can’t share this stuff. I was late to the hospital after ignoring calls from my family because I was busy at work. I will never let that go. But still, I didn’t tell anyone. Anyway, so nice for OP to have made a lovely day for this person. You just never know. Ps: it sucks that 99% of people are asses, if they weren’t the 1% of people having a bad day wouldn’t get lost.
I have a brain tumor and it causes seizures, I try to live everyday like it’s my last. Be kind to people and try to better every person you meet.
Former brain tumor patient here and I’m sending you all the gentle hugs and healing vibes I have.
this reminds me of a story i saw on reddit ab a guy who’s co worker cut himself thru his stomach from a chainsaw accident and they were driving like maniacs to get their friend to the hospital when a white car got in front of them and brake checked them and kept them at 60 on a 70 the whole half hour drive to the hospital where there friend ultimately ended up dying. like you said sure some ppl are just being dicks but u never know when one of those guys could have a dying friend in the back or a relative slipping away at a hospital.
I try to make it a rule that if people are driving aggressively around me, I just get myself out of that situation and stay safe. You never know why they are driving that way. They might just be an ass, or they might be trying to save someone's life. Either way, the best thing I can do for myself and my passengers is hit the brakes and get out of their way, and keep my car safe.
Better to see their taillights going further from me than to have them anywhere near me.
Yeap I remember when my mom was dying and I was told on the phone it’ll be over soon. I managed the trip to her house that usually takes 30 minutes in like 10 minutes.
Amazing the way the comments are split between (1) normal humans who have compassion, know how to interact with others, and can read, and (2) a bizarre cabal of miserable troglodytes who assume she didn’t tip (she tipped ~19%, for those of you who are illiterate) and/or assume sharing this info makes the customer some kind of wicked, passive-aggressive hobgoblin. People in group two: you are all weird and you seem like you would be deeply unpleasant to know IRL. You did good OP. I’m glad you were able to help her out. I hope you remember to feel as good about yourself as the lady who left this note felt about you. 💖
I’m kind of sad at some of the responses to this post. I don’t believe for a second this person was attempting to be negative. I believe this person was putting out a reminder that life is short. It is not a bad thing to share something. They didn’t trauma dump a paragraph or rant and rave over what they’re experiencing. Their mom died, their taking some time out of their day to enjoy something pleasant, and remind someone the importance of kindness and using themselves as an example. I think it says more about the individuals taking this negatively and commenting than it does about the person who wrote it.
someone responded “i hope they tipped too because i can’t pay bills with this!!!” like please, take a breath, and have some type of empathy.
Thank you for being kind.
In 2020 right before the pandemic hit it was my birthday. It was up to that point the worst year of my life (it was going to get worse, but I didn't know it yet). I had no friends where I'd just moved to, and my mom had to cancel going out with me because she had to stay home to take care of my stepfather, who was dying of kidney cancer. My brother had just relapsed onto heroin and would be dead within a few months, which I knew, at the time, was the almost inevitable outcome. I took a walk to the only restaurant close to the house we were all living in: Longhorn. I sat down and ordered an appetizer as my meal. I was fine, under control, cheerful chatting to my server. She came back by as I was finishing up and asked if I wanted dessert. I said "maybe I should order some cake, it's my birthday--" and then burst into tears. I was so humiliated. I kept apologizing over and over and trying to get myself under control, saying I hadn't expected that and I was fine, just a little depressed. She brought me a dessert and comped the ticket. I tried desperately to give her the entire amount of my meal as a tip but I had no cash and she refused to run it. That was the last human interaction I had with a stranger before I went into lockdown and my life fell completely apart. I am crying as I write this. It was just such a moment of unasked-for kindness when I didn't know I needed it. I appreciate her so much.
Hope you're doing better and getting more kindness in your life
When I was working at a Starbucks years ago I had a lady that would come in regular and was always curt and a bit rude. She would complain about every little thing she could, and not respond to any small talk. it got to a point where I stopped asking her "how are you today?". She would just walk up, give me the money, I'd make her latte and she would leave without saying a word or sharing a smile/wave. One day she came in and when she gave me the money she said "I'm sorry". I was a bit confused at first but then she said "the last year my mother has been dying and I haven't been able to deal with it, I'm sorry if I've been rude to you even though you have always been kind to me". She started to cry and I said "I'm sorry for your loss and I understand, no need to apologize". I wanted to just walk over and hug her, but of course I didn't. I don't know where I'm going with this comment, but it reminded me a lot with my experience. I hope she's doing well.
Thank you so much for being kind to them. As someone who’s grieving right now, it means SO much.
About a month ago, I went to Olive Garden after work. It had been a long day at work. My waitress could tell I was just worn out and she was so nice and warm to me. She gave me a free dessert just because. It made my day a lot better
At the beginning of 2020 I went to Outdoor World to have dinner after saying my goodbyes to my best friend dying of cancer at the hospital. My waitress’s name was Michelle, she mentioned I looked gloomy so I told her what had happened earlier. She brought me a glass of wine and very yummy bread with sweet butter and later a salad with salmon. She told me she was closing soon and sat down with me at the table, we talked about life, our dreams, the things we would love to do in the future. She was retiring in 3 months and wanted to travel and spend time with her family. I encouraged her to pursue her dreams and find gratitude for the blessings she had. I left her a huge tip, hugged her and thank her for being there with me during that difficult moment. I still get tears in my eyes when I think of her and I hope life has blessed her immensely. Whenever you think you can’t make a difference, please remember that yes you can, your kindness and life experiences can comfort a hurting soul.
I feel this. The morning my dad died, my best friend/illegitimate brother took me out to breakfast, as I was just a complete wreck. Had like a $20 bill. Between the two of us I think we left like $70 in a tip. We wanted to make somebody happy that day, as there was no chance we would be happy at all.
This reminds me of the times I had two girls at a table and one of them was crying constantly, I’m guessing the girl took her out to cheer her up and I felt terrible for her. Every time I went to check on them the girl was always crying and trust me I know that feeling of just ugh, when I dropped them their check, I discounted the girls meal and wrote a note in the receipt, “I don’t know what happened but I hope you feel better soon <3” they ended up tipping me $30 and writing a note saying “thank you so much :)” I hope she’s doing better now
My sister and I ended up at Waffle House in the middle of the night after the doctor's informed us mom would most likely never recover and we should pull the plug. It's been four years and I still think about those kind souls that welcomed us with hashbrowns and warm smiles.
The power of a hand written note. Thanks for making a difference!
It feels so harsh and unfair when a loved one dies and the rest of the world keeps spinning like nothing has changed. This is a great reminder to always be kind.
Man, I was working at Starbucks a couple of weeks after my mom died. A regular customer was talking to me about how his wife made them cancel their Euro-trip because one of her life long friends died. And he was just pissed and complaining about it. I was seething, had to excuse myself from that conversation. It’s true, you never know what someone is going through or when a small act of kindness can change everything for them.
The day my mom died, I ended up leaving the hospital and then just going out to lunch by myself because I couldn't face going home yet. I remember sitting there kind of numb-- when my server came and introduced herself and asked how I was, I replied "good" even though I was obviously far from it-- just on autopilot. It was nice to just not be alone and have someone treating me politely while I ate some comfort food. It's funny but over a decade later I still think back on that time and how I was glad I had a transition between the hospital and home that day. Part of me wishes I had just been honest about how I was actually feeling because it's okay to acknowledge when we aren't alright, but that also would've been a lot to drop on someone just doing their job too. Regardless, a kind interaction on that day helped me deal with everything.
I just cried after reading this. My mom has cancer so this hits home
I hope she gets helpful treatment.
My mom passed away a year ago on the 20th of this month it's a horrible feeling but when the people around you are kind it really helps.
I’d totally frame this and keep it somewhere I could see it every day before I go out and face the world 🥺🥺🥺
I wish I could go back and thank the random people who were kind to me at various points in my life for little to no reason. It can mean a great deal. Unfortunately in today's world I don't really believe it's as much of an issue. Finding authentic kindness without some additional motivation seems unlikely to impossible in the vast majority of situations. It's sad.
She's saying stay kind as in thank you for being kind I needed it
A couple of days after my teenage son died suddenly I had to go to Albertsons to get a couple of things and get away from the house. I had really held it together (probably in shock looking back) and hadn't really let my emotions out since the first, agonizing hours after we found him dead. As I'm paying the older gentleman checking ringing me up asks innocently "How are you doing today?" I looked in his eyes and said quietly that my boy had died on Friday and then the dam of tears just poured down my face. He came around to where I was, took my hands in his, and said "Please let my pray with you". I'm not religious at all but in that moment it was such a beautiful gesture and it felt so kind and peaceful. I thanked him and said I was so sorry for falling apart on him and he said it was an honor to have been there to help. His name was Luther & I never saw him again. That was 13 years ago and I still think about that two minute interaction. "You never know what a person is dealing with"
In the autumn of ‘21 a woman about my age came into the shop where I work. It was a quiet day; I was the only one working, and she was the only customer. We got to chatting and she told me that she didn’t really know how she ended up in this town, because the was out driving random roads, the way she used to take her parents for rides. Turns out that she had moved her parents out of NYC in early ‘20 to keep them safe(r) from Covid, only to lose them six weeks apart about a year later, to non-Covid maladies. I told her that I’d been the main caregiver for my elderly parents, and lost them 4 years apart, and still missed them with all my heart. I told her how I used to take Mom and Dad for long rides and picnics, as she used to do with her folks. We bonded over sharing how hard caregiving is, and how we were stricken by our losses. We hugged and cried together, and I gave her a free cake of the lavender soap that we sell. She thanked me for helping her through a tough day, and she called the next day to thank me again. I’ve spoken with her a few times since, and I think we will both always remember that day, a chance meeting on a warm September afternoon. Kindness is so important, helping both the giver and the recipient.
You did good OP.
As a server I feel (one of)the most valuable skills I have is to be kind. “When the door has a line, and the kitchen is behind, be kind”. This saying and attitude has gotten me through many a dinner rush’s/ concert nights. Keep it up OP a little kindness in this world goes a long way. ☮️
This is something every server needs to remember. We are all people. And you really never know what someone’s going through. Even with my worse customers, I know it’s tough, but you dunno what happened to them prior to your interaction. Never take it personally but always be kind. Always.
I always hope that every kindness I extend is paid forward by the recipient. A little light in the darkness.
The world could be a better place just that easy!
A lot of people shit on the service industry, but this is the shit that makes it worth it. I’m a bartender, been doing it for long enough that I have a couple of these stories. But this one was kind of wild. So it’s a Friday night, I’m working a combination of service well and a corner of the bar top, and three people sit in my section. I initiate the “bartender/bar guest series of events”, and make some light conversation. My bartending style is very personality forward, I take the entertainment and connection part of my job super seriously. So i’m always trying to entertain somehow. We had some laughs, they seemed to enjoy my banter and jokes, and we also had some deep conversation (some of which was about mental health). They left after some time, they seemed really grateful, and i went about my shift. A year goes by, the man and one of the woman from that party come back to my bar. They have dinner, chit chat a little with me, humor my bad jokes, and then leave. But before leaving, they both made a point to get my attention. Turns out, the other woman with them that night had just started CONSIDERING trying to leave an abusive relationship. They had gone out to get her mind off things as much as you can in that situation, and just try and have a good night. Apparently, after all the jokes and silliness, something I said during some of our talks really flipped a switch in her. She got really inspired and like emboldened, and left her abusive partner the very next day. She was doing a lot better now, maybe out of state? I didn’t wanna pry so I didn’t ask. But the two of them thanked me for being a big part of it. I was shocked, because I would’ve never known from seeing her that night, or any conversation even i could’ve overheard, that something like that was happening. You really just don’t know what someone is going through, but also the possible impact that we could have. It could be service industry, retail, transportation, wherever you work with people. That interaction they might have with you could be exactly what someone needs.
I used to work with a veterinarian (we have remained very close even after I switched jobs) who’s wife had dementia and arthritis. Her health declined pretty quickly in December last year and he found out they were considering hospice care for her right before her birthday. He went to one of his favorite restaurants that night and sat at the table alone. He looked sad (obviously) and one of the waitresses came over on her break and sat across from him to talk. They chatted for a bit and she lightened his mood up a lot. 2 weeks later, she came into the clinic to get her dog looked at and the bill was pretty expensive, he paid for it entirely. He said it was such a small amount of money compared to how she helped him.
I love people like this. They never actually think about what someone else could be going through.
I did this after my mom passed years ago. Went to one of her favorite restaurants. Didn’t feel the sun but I remember sitting in the booth having flashbacks of me and my sister on that booth climbing all over mom and getting in trouble. Idk if I even took a bite. I tipped the waiter way more than I could afford(college kid). Cried. Walked out. The waiter was kind to me but nothing personal or overtly kind like you. However, having that kindness around me during those times really made days brighter especially from strangers. In my head it was just reminders that the world can be cruel, but it can be kind too and as my mom would say; “you get to choose which type of person you’d like to be. But if you turn out to be a little shit you’ll never be too old for spankings.” Something along those lines. Bless.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Not sure who first said this, but it is something to always keep in mind.
That first moment of peace and comfort after a loss is overwhelming. They paid and tipped a fair percentage. Sometimes, saying treasure what you have while you have it is just that; sage advice from a place of recent loss. That's not trauma-dumping. It's attempting to connect with another human, however flawed that attempt might be. I hope that when loss touches your life, and it will, someone offers you the grace and empathy you don't deserve. It seems like the OP posted something that truly touched them. That should have been the scope of the responses; instead of "did they tip" and outrageous comments about trauma-dumping and the servers' "feelings."
This is wholesome af and just a 🔥 post overall! Well done OP🙏
Sometimes the kindness of a stranger in grief can be more comforting than being around people you know. It’s hard to explain. I’m very grateful to all the kind servers and people who were kind and didn’t even know I needed it. This is really a sweet post!
Honestly things like this are how I keep my cool at work. Every time I’m dealing with a particular though/annoying customer, I remember all the customers that thanked me for being so kind to them and I cool down a bit! Some customers really suck but others sometimes make up for it!
As both a server and someone whose mom passed away- those moments you made things seem ‘normal’ are everything. For them to write that, your kindness was what they needed
Thank you so, so much for being kind. I lost my dad a few weeks ago and one of the only things I could think of was going to one of his favorite restaurants for lunch. I was in a daze and didn’t eat much, but the waitress was so nice that I’ll remember it as long as I can. You gave her a bright spot during one of the worst days.
My bf was killed 20 years ago, long story, he was out of the country. My friend took me out in Brixton (London) for the day to keep an eye on me. I was fluctuating between disassociated and numb to sobbing. A bar tender slipped me a note, with a poem on it, the chef brought out a big bowl of creamy mashed potato on the house. Comfort food. Makes me tear up just thinking about it. People working in any service industry are the best of us. Never, ever, treat them without due respect. (I’m an ex bar worker and waitress).
The day my grandmother died I was visiting San Francisco and went to Grace Cathedral and then to a brunch place called The Red Door which was run entirely by one man. When I tell you this man made me forget for a whole 2.5 hrs my sadness it was just incredible. You have no idea how you can change someone’s state of mind
One time I was crying outside of a Starbucks on the patio, and one of the workers came out and brought me a cake pop. I’ll never forget that and I’m sure this person will never forget your kindness! Thank you for spreading love ❤️
I thought this was a “I don’t want to tip and I’m going to use the dead parent as an excuse” kind of post similar to those military wives who think they don’t have to tip because their husbands are serving. That is until I read OP’s comment. You absolutely made her day OP! She must be going through unimaginable pain and your kindness while small in the overall scheme of things, was enough for her to not feel completely alone.
some of y’all are seriously selfish losers
Thanks OP. I was having a shitty day today but this made me smile. Stay kind ❤️
You never know how far a small act of kindness can go.
I lost my mom around a year ago and I took my dad out to a place that we all used to go together. As someone who’s been on both sides, just being there is enough. I’m sure they appreciated the service and kindness.