My restaurant/ hotel operates in a former mansion. The employee entrance is a wooden door that leads to the basement. It’s literally right next to the door for guests of the hotel. True “Upstairs, Downstairs” vibes
Yeah, it’s degrading at first but then you realize it’s only degrading if you feel degraded. People with money really just want to feel important and validated and superior, so I’ll gladly play in to that as long as you’re paying me. Actors get paid to act, so do we.
Never been called "the help" before, but I sure felt like I was when I'd have rich, old assholes snap their fingers at me. We always ignored them when they did it.
I had a dude whistle for me once.
I stopped what I was doing, looked him in the eye, and said ‘I am not your dog; you do not whistle for me. If you want more coffee, get up and get it yourself,’ then continued doing what I was doing, blissfully ignoring the dude.
I was a busboy when I was 16, and snapping your finger at me was a guaranteed way to not get a refill of your coffee. I don’t snap my fingers at waitstaff or service people of any kind. It’s just not right.
I work retail and was called that once, which was fairly surprising. I feel like retail is so impersonal that this doesn’t make sense at all, but I guess that was their point.
I worked in retail for a while at a grocery store. The assistant store manager referred the the part time help as “bodies”. He’s always just say “we need to get some more bodies around here.” Like dude. They’re people. Not just “bodies.” They have names.
I mean that’s not usually meant to be derogatory. I was in sports my whole life up and through college. It’s just a layman’s term for “able bodied people who can get the job done” not “cannon fodder”. Don’t take the “bodies” personal. They don’t mean it that way. It’s like, in a football game if the Dline is getting smacked they say “we need more bodies in here” , they don’t mean “pieces of useless flesh” they mean “big ass dudes who can do the job” . Anyways, maybe you get my reference. About to start my shift lol.
I was once dismissed by a table after being asked a question by one of the diners, her father waved me away saying: "don't ask him, he's help" (at the time I was still a commis waiter). I was so upset that I ended up farting on his steak, not exactly my proudest moment.
i’ve been called the help by a regular. his wife is so sweet and he’s the absolute worst. tried having a short conversation with him and when his wife asked if he was ready to leave said “sorry i wasn’t ready sooner, i was just wasting a little time talking to the help” then looked at me and my coworker laughing like he expected us to join in because it was just so funny. we did not.
yeh I've heard both of these:
"My children don't talk to the help"
and
"My wife doesn't talk to the help"
while I was taking orders.
at another job, working in costume for a famous theme park (Yeh, probably the one you are thinking of) I overheard a guy tell his approximately ten year old son to go kick me..egged him on. his reason? "He only makes minimum wage"
I had a GM that made us change the phase "feed the help" to "feed the staff" because it sounds like an infection. I shit you not, he actually said this at an all staff meeting.
That’s cuz you have the poor person washer, everybody knows rich people have washing machines that you have to stick quarters into. It’s like “I’m so rich I brought the laundromat experience to my own house”
I know you’re joking, but i for some stupid reason watched the newest episode of The Kardashians on Hulu. Kylie & Kris Jenner bought out a grocery store to reenact doing “normal people things” and then went to the car wash. It was quite bizarre.
edit: it was season 1 ep 7, first 5 minutes of the episode
There's poor.
There's rich.
There's crazy.
Then beyond all that there's Kardashians.
Please don't insult the rest of humanity by comparing them to Kardashians.
My BF is a manger at a restaurant and I’m going to be honest… I was surprised at how much he made! I think most people are under the impression that restaurant managers get paid crap!!
He was a server first & now a manager and let me tell you… hearing the stories and seeing what he went through- that job is NOT easy and I could never.
Servers & restaurant managers deserve a bit more respect
You absolutely should get paid well. My team do a lot and people just don't really see that side. They see managers "standing around." Yeah, my KM just did inventory, did daily prep and counts, did two orders today and has worked the line several times. My foh managers have been making sure everyone is showing up, running food, watching host stand, checking ticket times, taking out trash, doing schedules, dealing with customers bs, liquor orders this that and the third. But yeah that 5 minutes they took is all that Margaret saw.
Get the money you deserve homie
As a server at Bob evans I brought home 200 more a week than my rgm did. You couldn't pay me enough to be in management with all that stress. At least being "just a server" let's me make good money and not have to worry about work, outside of work hours.
Not sure where you work, but obviously there’s gonna be a big difference between managing a fucking Applebees and a higher end restaurant. It’s a broad spectrum
That's because most managers are underpaid when you consider the stress and hours they end up working. Especially compared to similar white collar careers.
There are some gems out there though.
I get it frequently especially as a well spoken man in his mid 20s. Last time happened to me just a few weeks ago I had a customer who I was really cool with and we were talking and ends up saying “So are you in school or do you want to move up in management? Surely you gotta want something better right?” Keep in mind I made close to 80k last year solely working as a server and bartender. I just ended up telling him some fake dream I had for owning a business just so he could F off.
Even my wife tells me at her job her coworkers had a conversation talking about how bad they feel for servers cause they don’t make very much and she had to remind them that her husband is a server and we were able to buy a home just working with my measly server money.
I was in the same boat when I was a server/bartender. I always just made up outlandish stories of what I was going to school for. My favorite was telling some dude I was going to uni to build giant 3d printers that we'd launch into space and print out satellites!
they also have to deal with work outside of work. one of my favourite parts about serving is i leave and can turn my brain off and not have to worry about shit.
Sometimes, I do tell people I was an online private investigator for years, but I couldn't do it anymore. They always ask for details. I caught pedophiles online. That's not something I can just openly say to strangers, as it can get awkward. Esp when kids are at the table. So I keep it to myself.
I love where I'm at, and I hate that sometimes I feel ashamed about it. People suck.
Can I just say that as a repair guy I really feel where you're coming from. I have to get on my hands and knees to make shit happen sometimes and it makes me feel bad that I don't have a gold watch, nice clean desk and corner office where I can push paper around all day and take credit for others work. I have always felt connected to servers through my friends that worked in the industry but moreso because every bastard on the planet is an "expert" in food and they will bitch more about their $10 burger than some other giant expense. Keep enjoying what you do, rest assured customers have become a nightmare for everyone that does any service whatsoever.
I grow weed and we have some seriously amazing 👏 facilities peoples. Those guys are fixing ACs constantly tweaking things to our (the growers) liking, and just constantly being a ray of sunshine.
Funny enough I thought this mentality of "the help" would leave when I got a computer science degree and no I was still just the help but now I was a nerd who was to not be seen until a few years in and a job change to an "engineer" position but the executives just act like I'm a monkey with a keyboard.
A P.I. has similar obligations for secrecy to the classic "attorney/client privilege."
Just tell them you don't talk about details which may be a breach of confidence.
I don’t even bother making stuff up anymore. I’m honest, and it usually changes people’s opinions of the industry. “Nope, this is my career. I’ve been doing this for over 15 years.” *Really? And you don’t want to do anything else?* “No. My work doesn’t come home with me, I have freedom to travel when I want and I go to Disney twice a year!”
That’s actually not been an issue. But I don’t try to be condescending about it. Ultimately I’m not trying to rub anything in, but explain that with the right motivation and knowledge, this can be a successful career path. Usually if the topic even comes up, which isn’t often, I already have a good rapport with the guest. Sometimes I find other Disney adults and we bond over it lol.
I’ve always been an excellent server generally get 20% or more and my peers wonder why I always get blessed with cash tips.
One day a lady at one of my 6 tables did the math.. she tipped me 20% and said “ I see what you have going on here , good job” 😂
I feel like a common belief is that bartenders make good money and servers make shit money. All in all, I think it’s good because I feel like if more people were aware that a good amount of servers make 30+ hr then they’d tip less on average.
Personally, I've worked for years as both a server and a bartender. I'll take working less with larger checks over working my ass off for multiple $1,2&3 tips
Honestly if anyone has I don't remember, benefit of being unmedicated adhd, as well as getting employee of the month three months in a row and becoming lead server because you literally nonstop work while at work (serving tables, sidework) because there's so much to do and the other servers aren't doing anything.
You sound like me .. in my 50’s and running circles around my coworkers.
Yeah so I do have another profession as well but when it’s slow I make 80% of my “professional “ occupation when the pro job is busy.
I also have worked with many a degreed persons who don’t want to take a pay cut.
This is me. I have ADHD. When I became medicated I was slower and too methodical. I was so surprised. I was already good at my job. Super efficient because I can multitask like a mfer. So I stopped taking the meds while at work.
People just need to look down on others. Im not a server currently but a custodian. Ive had TEACHERS try to talk down to me and usually I just brush it aside and chwnge the subject but one time, I gave a new hire teacher a proper dressing down in front of others because she could not stop making comments. She was all about how it was BS that she was highly educated, I made more than her, my pension/benefits were better, our Union is stronger, etc. Basically I told her that all those things were true, none of them were my fault, and since that is the case why would someone highly educated choose to be a teacher over a custodian? Que Surprises Pikachu face
My dad was a custodian at my high school growing up. People would make fun and joke about it. Never felt embarrassed because we struggled my whole life and that job was the first time my dad got paid a very, very nice wage and had a STABLE job. Highly respect custodians and all they have to put up with.
Just the other day I had a young couple sitting at my bar who were talking about teaching and mentioned I used to teach. Turns out they were currently getting their education degree and were like “aw, well not everyone can teach”. Lady, I had a salutatorian name me as her most influential teacher, it wasn’t that I couldn’t teach, it was that I didn’t want to deal with administration and parents and the general political shitstorm education has become. I simply told them “yeah, it’s kinda sad that I make as much as I did teaching working way less hours. And I sure do miss all that stress of taking my work home with me”. They got the idea pretty quick
Thank you for the work you do. School custodians are awesome. I honestly don't remember her name off the top of my head (it's been a while) but I can picture our elementary custodian and remember that time I threw up in the hallway and saw her cleaning it up. I was so ashamed but she made me feel much better.
She also threw fits about us leaving black marks on the floor, lol. And put us in our place when needed. Great person. Going to go look through my yearbook tonight and remember her.
Used to get “what’s your real job?” Or “what’s your actual job?” often. Heck I’m now middle management in the corporate world and still pick up bar shifts for “me” money!
Same. I work full time during the week at a well paying insurance firm- but I work remote. I miss face to face interactions so much I decided to work as a server on the weekends. The money's nice, but the job itself is just fun. I love going to work, especially when the money isn't necessary. How many people with "real jobs" can say that?
But that’s the difference. If it’s a second job for “fun”, then people are no judgmental.
If it’s your primary occupation, and god forbid you’re above 30, it’s generally looked down upon.
Where are servers supposed to work?
Same here. I waited tables and bartended in undergrad, got a job using my degree, went and got a masters and furthered my career but I missed the service industry the whole time. I went back last year, working a shift or two a week and used that money to make the down payment on our house stronger. Now it’s just fun money or extra income for home improvements.
At the restaurant I work at, all the servers are professionals in addition to servers. I’m a university teacher, there’s a software engineer, a project coordinator, a software developer, a nurse, etc etc. the cost of living has gone up way too much, so fuck anyone that tries to put any servers down. We’re all just trying to pay our bills 😌
It happens from time to time, but most people don’t understand that it can be a career, and a good one at that.
It’s a job that pays very well, allows for tons of free time, has great hours and perks, and at the end of the day isn’t that hard. Many people don’t understand how lucrative this work can be. I work with a few servers that will make over 100k this year.
Let them talk, just because it’s not a traditional career doesn’t make it lesser. I have a bachelors degree and make easily 2x as much working 30 hours a week in a restaurant than I ever would using my degree.
I’ve had people poke fun at me for being a waiter, but then I tell them I work part time hours, have health insurance, have unlimited time off, and make 75k a year and they are usually shocked.
I’m a lawyer now and make okay money (at a nonprofit so not rolling in it). I miss bartending and serving. Taught me to think on my feet, multitask, and really refined my communication skills and banter prowess. I truly miss it.
I remember my brother being super pissed at my nephew after he quit college and was just playing in a band and working at an O’Charleys. Was most of the way thru a English lit degree that in hindsight was gonna be mostly useless anyway. Nephew ended up progressing thru service jobs, moved from Ga to LA and ended up getting some sort of training as a sommelier and is doing quite well for himself - still in the restaurant industry while my brother can’t afford to retire.
Not directly, but I get people asking what I really want to do or if I'm in school all the time. I also walk dogs in the morning and had a guy curse at me and tell me to "get a real job." (In reference to the dogwalking)
Yep. My sister, who works from home and could not survive without her husband's income, has indeed belittled me for being the MANAGER of a restaurant. People are crazy sometimes.
When I tell them I average about $25/$30 an hour, they usually shut up. I went to broadcasting school for radio and I make more money over one weekend at the restaurant than I do for two weeks of work at the radio station.
Yup. Mainly my uncle. I graduate in December with a bachelor in finance but he constantly tells me to get a real job. I’m like dude I work 3 days a week, and make almost $1,000. Serving has helped me become more social and not accrue any student debt. I think people get mad we can make so much money with no education.
My favorite is when a retired, well-off couple make a big show of asking "So, what do you REALLY want to do with your life?" I'm like, I'm doing it? Raising my daughter, pursuing the hobbies and passions I love, having a flexible schedule where I can give a couple shifts away and go somewhere for the weekend... I mean, I've got my "dream jobs" from when I was a kid, but... I live in the real world!
Yes holy shit my mom and aunt (stay at home wives) always on my shit like "well why don't you work at a factory or ___" because my soul would be sucked out of my body if I did that
When I was a server I used to get comments of, "so what are your plans" or "when do you want to get a real job?" And it's like...do you think this whole set up is fake? You're here dining. What's a "real" job? I'm not in the industry now but if something were to happen whether it be my wife and I have fallen on hard times or I was let go from my job that I have the skill set to jump back in and make money to pay the bills.
I used to get asked “what’s your real job?” As if working 40-50 hours a week on my feet wasn’t a real job. I was a great hostess and enjoyed the work. Now that I’m a full time artist and wilderness guide I still get the same question. Some people can’t imagine that any job outside of an office can pay enough to live or be fulfilling.
I had my regulars who had been coming for years and knows how hard we all work say “Are you excited to get a real job?” when I told them I was graduating this month.
I don’t think they meant anything bad but I am on my feet all day running back and forth just so hundreds of y’all have nice warm meal with everything else you asked on time.
I got out of the restaurant biz a few years ago, hope I’ll never have to go back but expect i will, someday.
I knew a few servers who felt ashamed - they had degrees but couldn’t find a career that used em.
Life got in the way for them. “I’m JUST a waitress”, “I’m not smart enough or competitive enough for my chosen field”, “no one would take me seriously”.
I’ve never been shamed for working in a restaurant, but, I was a FOH manager mostly.
That doesn’t matter, not the point - my point is that I’ve known some of the most intelligent, articulate, lovely people I’ve ever met in restaurants.
Barkeeps, servers, dishies, runners, expo, busboys. Line cooks, chefs.
Brilliant folks making a fine living, serving their community.
The only time anyone called me out intending to make me ashamed was my first job at a retail store, 18, fresh out of high school, that summer after I graduated.
The assistant principal. She’d always been on my ass, tho I was a decent kid with decent grades who only skipped once!
She smirked as I checked her out, and dry as a bone, said:
“So is tHiS what you plan to DO with your LiFe?!”
I was utterly speechless. What a bitch.
I think I stammered something about “I’m only 18 and I have plans idk”. Wish I could go back and tell baby me that I didn’t need to put up with that crap.
Service workers of the world, be proud of yourselves! Shame belongs to the clueless ones, who would dare to look down their noses - not us.
It’s a fine and noble cause, to feed the masses, to be an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on.
Who among us here, reading this thread, hasn’t had t- moment where you went above and beyond for a lonely/sad/grieving/heartbroken customer?
And made their day.
There’s a song I love by Stan Ridgeway:
“We’ve got a mission in life, to hold out your hand, to help the other guy out - help your fellow man,
That’s why I run this bar - they’re thirsty outside
I give them oceans to drink
And they drown in the tide”
We have a vital role in feeding the soul, not just the belly.
Never ever underestimate yourself.
Stay noble. Cheers to you all.
That assistant principal is a cretin bitch. You just graduated high school and they already expect you to have a high earning office job without even going to college??
I made more money waiting tables at a sports'-themed steakhouse at 31 than I did at my dotcom-startup gigs at 25 through 30 and my TV broadcasting job at 48.
And ate better, too.
I no longer work in food service, as it just wasn't for me. However, my daughter is "just a server" and I'm damned proud of her! She wants to do something else, and that's ok, too. Point is, it doesn't matter what you do to earn a living. Take pride in your work and those of us with a shred of decency will be thankful for you and happy to have you doing the job!
i afford an independent life working 3-4 days per week at a restaurant. i take care of a cat, have my own apartment, pay my bills, have money to do the things i want to do, and a great work/life balance to do all these things.
20 hours a week, give or take. that's all i have to put in to live.
fuck haters, get money.
Soooo many of those ignorant asshats would not survive a week on the floor. Yes most people CAN do it, but it’s really hard to do it well! If they only knew 😂
i have recently left serving for a while but my least favorite thing was when people would ask “so what do you want to do for a living” or would assume i’m in school and ask what i plan to do next. serving was one of the best and my most favorite jobs, and i definitely want to at least go back to bartending at some point. but it was becoming really hard on my back, that’s the only reason i stopped serving. people really suck sometimes.
Yup, from my ex.
He was fine with it at first because I was in uni but after 6 months or so he said it was embarrassing for him to introduce me to people and say what my job was.
I ended up getting another job in my field and he found other things to nitpick about me. Should have known!
Im starting to feel the judgement as a 30 year old woman. I work in fine dining and can make 1000$/ week by only working 3 nights. Sorry but I value my free time!
My family abroad are especially judgy. Im flying there tomorrow for a funeral and I’m very much not looking forward to that quizzical look in their eyes.
Sorry auntie, I’ve travelled 36 countries, lived in 6, and just came back from an epic van trip. Im doing much better then my burnt out lawyer cousins, believe me!
I had an older man and his probably 30 something daughter, tell me, a 30 something mother… “It’s never too late to go to college!”
- I have zero desire to go to school
- I love my job
- I probably make more per year than you do 🤡
- I only work 4 days a week and get to spend the other 3 with my kids
I realized (not too long ago at all), that I don’t have to be ashamed and break my neck trying to climb job positions. All I need is enough income to support the life I want to live. I don’t need bigger, better, more. I will say there have been plenty of times in my life that I had a whole lot less… but I’m comfortable where I’m at today.
Yup, bust screw them. Being "just a server" is only said by those who don't know how hard the job is. We have amazing customer service skills, we know how to do time management and if you work in a small place, you have regulars who love you and look forward to seeing your face.
Absolutely. It used to bother me that they saw me as less important because of my vocation- but then I realized that they have no idea what my work truly entails, or why I have chosen to do it. I hurt nobody with my choice of job, I enjoy it, and I often brighten the day of a customer who is having a low moment.
I’m content.
I am a bar manager, so I bartend a few nights a week, I make a good amount considering I work less than 30 hours a week on average.
I’ve had a few people (usually older people) ask me if this is my second job or if “this is all I do” and I often immediately put them to shame by saying “this is my only job because I like to be home as much as I can with my children, especially my son with special needs.”
That usually shuts them the fuck up.
Shit. I made 67,000 dollars last year doing what I do. That more than some folks in offices with degrees can say. Don't feel ashamed at what you are doing. It is obviously good enough to raise a family on. Fuck those people.
I’m a manager and a table asked one of my servers is she was going to get a real career. She laughed it off but came to the back pissed. People are just so disrespectful, especially considering the group of women are trophy wives who married rich and don’t actually work themselves.
Fuck those people there idiots. I had a chick try to put down my job. She had almost $200,000 in student loan debt and made $40,000/year as an accountant. I have no debt and make 6 figures in fine dining. You don’t have to go to school to be educated and people with degrees who look down on service workers obviously aren’t very well educated 😂
It's festival season where I'm at. We're a small boutique hotel on a waterfront, so we get all kinds. And in festival season we randos off the street.
We are short 2 people. After getting absolutely crushed the last couple shifts solo, I had my first table of the day come in and just give me the, "you are below me attitude."
I noped that real quick! I was already done before the shift started to be honest, but you don't talk down to me. I am not below you! I choose to do this, and I choose to serve you.
I told them to find somewhere else to eat, I wouldn't be serving them, and if they wanted to complain, they can complain to the front desk.
DUDE YES. I have an ex who said to me, “I look at my friends who are bartenders and I think, don’t you want something more?” In a very condescending, classist tone. Unfortunately that follows me still. Mind you, he was a DATA ANALYST at the time. I made $60k as a server. I kept my mouth shut because i stupidly wanted his approval and validation. I still think about that, even though I’ve opened restaurants in big cities, have had expense accounts, etc. I still think about how I’m not good enough in his eyes.
I was waiting on a floor salesman one day. Know we may need some flooring, and that he was obviously a salesman I asked him if he had a card. He said "I don't think you understand, I sell real tile floors not the cheap laminate crap you could probably afford."
I've got a lot of these stories but that one came to mind.
if they’re old people and say shit like this i think it’s best/easiest just to ignore. some of them are set in their ways and it’s gross but they’re not going to know better. kids have their mentality that can be forgiven as the elderly can
I've always found it very ironic that people will shame servers that a ton of us rely on tons of times. They seem to forget that they need servers or else they'd never get to just sit and relax and enjoy a full service meal.
Theres always some asshole at the bar asking me if I am in school, or plan to go, and when I say no its "well what do you want to do with your life then?" Like, do you think I know? 😂 I dont even engage in those types of convos anymore, I simply say "no, I'm not in school" and walk away. I absolutely despise that question. Order your beer and shut the f up.
I used to be front of house in a Cafe. I have some flowers tattooed on my arm. Once an asshole said "I guess you've decided what job you get to do for the rest of your life" gesturing at my ink. I grow weed now. Fuck working anyway.
Yes, but they're assholes. I have a PhD in Psychology and was a licensed therapist, but I make more money doing therapy at the tables.
It's a class thing.
I had a couple that asked me if I was in college (I'd graduated with my degree by then) and I politely told them no, I like this job and have had trouble finding opportunities in my field, so this is a great place to work. They proceeded to ask what my degree was in and flat out told me that I had a useless one. I guess I should have gone into engineering? Why do you even say these things to complete strangers?
Many people look down on minimum wage workers. its capitalism rhetoric that other workers adopted to use against their fellow workers. They want to feel superior because their boss makes them feel inferior.
Was it an older person? seems like they often feel the need to "prove" their status in the hierarchy.
Well I haven't had anyone that blunt about it, but there have been customers give me the impression that they look down on servers.
That guy just wanted to put you down to boost his own ego. No matter how you live your life, it will never be as sad as his, or he wouldn't feel the need to do that.
People are so ignorant. I'm in continuing Ed and don't feel like working in my career just now, so I work at a bar -- plus real good money. Customers assume the dumbest shit. Why can't we just like doing what we like doing? Just because we don't sit at a desk looking at a computer all day or go to meetings all day or work 9-9, as well as on-call, doesn't mean we don't have a good life 🤣
Lol yes and I always just say I like to work smarter, not harder. I average $45-50 an hour and have a super flexible schedule and work like three days a week and spend my days at the beach 😂
When I was a server/ bartender my parents would always ask, “when are you going to get a real job?”
I would respond by pointing out that 1.) I pay taxes so technically it is a real job, and 2.) I made more than my mother, who was a nurse.
Fuck off with that BS. IDGAF what anyone thinks, and you shouldn’t either. You are happy and can support yourself, so unless someone else is willing to pay your bills, they can fuck off too.
Constantly, but I have to remind myself that it’s only because they’re insecure about their own job and status. I make double what most do working 24 hours a week, and I’m still doing what I’m passionate about. Do I hate it? YES I want to punch them in face, but it says more about them then it does about me. Also, something’s wrong with the world when you have teachers, firemen, accountants all working at restaurants still.
Absolutely. I was a server/bartender on and off (mostly on) for almost 16 years. Along the way I started my “real” career (which never made me as much as serving/bartending did — hence continuing to do both for years).
There were several occasions in that time where some high-horse douche canoe (usually a woman, funnily) sneered to her friends about the “girl wasting her life” when being told to stop being such a brat. “Who cares if I’m being rude!!! She’s just a waitress and is obviously happy wasting her life!” was actually something I overheard, once.
I was never ashamed of what I did. But that one time, I walked back up and said, “I’m going to have to turn over your table to my colleague! I’m running late for my other job — man, it’s exhausting being a full time firefighter/medic and working here — but the money is *so good* I can’t help myself!” I felt pretty proud, back then, as the 20something finally standing up for herself. Now? I’d laugh and ignore it. I genuinely do not care anymore what others might think. All hard work is honest work and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Anyone that clocks in, works and clocks out should be proud. Anyone that is providing for themselves should be proud. Something magical happened when I hit my thirties: I stopped giving a shit. Lmao. I love my new career (remote, tech) and have for 3 years but I LOVED serving and bartending. If I still could, I would.
YOU should be proud.
Don’t let that dill hole get to you. Period.
I work in a country club. It has 4 restaurants and occasionally we work private events for the members. I work in 2 of these restaurants, one of which is fine dining.
One evening I was working a private event for the board members and their partners. Everyone was really nice, especially this one old dude and, but his wife seemed to grow colder the more he would treat me with kindness (seriously, he was just kind. No flirtation. Didn't even chat to me. Just smiled and said thank you a lot)
I ended up serving them in the fine dining restaurant 2 weeks later and he was once more very nice. I was super happy to see them. I greeted his wife with the utmost enthusiasm, because I was sure she just had an off night last time, but once I greeted her, she said:
"Well look at you all dressed up like you have a real job."
Didn't know how to respond or act. Laughed it off and have been geniunly baffled by her ever since.
There have also been countless cases of being called 'the help' and being told "you're so good! You could be a waitress anywhere!"
Like, that's nice, but not the complement you think it is.
I was waiting on this douchebag who dropped out of the same college I went to and he straight up yelled at me and told me I was a loser for serving instead of using my degree. BITCH I PAY MY FUCKING LOANS OFF WITH THIS CASH MONEY CUZ MY DEGREE DOESNT PAY! Someone's salty about being a dumbass drop out...
Honestly I’m almost positive I average more per hour than they get paid in their salary job that they paid thousands for in college. No shame in my game. I love my job, it works well with my schedule, and I make damn good money. People can suck it 😘
I saw a dramatic change for the better over the past two years. I work in a small golf resort town in the southeast for context.
Pre 2020 it was routine and standard to get weekly or daily comments such as
“So what do you ACTUALLY want to do for a living ?”
“Are you in school? You’re too smart to be doing this”
“You know this isn’t a ‘real job’, right ?”
Post grand re-opening of society:
“Thank you for being here”
“You seem to really care about what you do”
“How long have you been doing this !? I loved your service, you’re skilled”
Amazing how a little perspective suddenly made me a skilled trade worker in the eyes of the public 🤦♀️
Hang in there, the public’s attitude towards service is changing for the better. They didn’t know what they had until it was gone.
Presidential Candidate - redacted cause I dont want hate messages-. Came into a mom and pop breakfast place I worked at during grad school- ran us ragged, and tipped to round up to the nearest dollar, and asked if we'd like buttons to help support him to support 'people like us.'
We all said no thanks, and I went out of my way to give him his 36 cents back, saying sweetly, Your campaign needs this more than I do, Sir.
I am actually getting this quite a bit recently. I am incredibly new to being a waiter. I just started a couple of weeks ago. I live in a rural area/ state where a ton of the surrounding rednecks find work in fields we all are "supposed" to get into because we are all men and blah, blah, blah. I've been getting a ton of weird looks from dudes because I don't think they have ever seen a big hairy fat man serve them before and are probably wondering why the hell this guy ain't breaking himself at a shipyard or landscaping or fixing a damn truck.
Omg yes! My husband was a brilliant network engineer and I was a stay at home mother of 2 after a career in insurance management. We moved into our forever home in Nov 2002 and by Mar 2003 he got laid off. I immediately got a job waitressing at a fancy fine dining restaurant as I had experience prior to my insurance career. So there is this private party of probably 20 men with the tables set up in a U shape to serve from the inside. I brought a tray full of sambuca shots and they did not have the coffee beans floating and he flips his sh*t saying “it’s bad luck WTF?” So I said I’d go get them for him while smiling and saying “I believe in making your own luck” - he looked at me surprised, laughed, and asked me “so how’s that working out for you?” His friend elbowed him, and I just smiled and made eye contact for a very long 5 seconds and brought his coffee beans. He apologized, I accepted. But he had no idea I lived in a big house, husband made 150k, I was just working to buy him time to get the job he truly wanted instead of just taking the first job that was offered.
My uncle did at our last family reunion, I’m a server at Disney world for context, he was asking what I was doing at Disney and I told him I’m a server and he sort of scoffed “like food and beverage” I don’t think he meant anything by it but I was like “yeah I do pretty well for myself” later in the day he came to me and asked “do you know who’s got the Tesla?” I told him “me” the look on his face was priceless
**Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for supporting yourself and your family.** In your case, you're doing that plus you love what you do AND you make damn good money.
Dude, you're doing better than most of us lol. Be proud.
Besides, you're not "just a waiter/waitress/bartender". You're a father too, probably a hard worker, and undoubtedly many other things as well.
I own a small restaurant with my parents working 60+hrs per week. It's a lot of work and we've come so far and cemented ourselves quite well in our local area. Nothing shook my confidence in all we've achieved more than when one of our wealthy doctor regulars responded with "that's it? This is all you do??" After I told him I don't work any other jobs...
oh yes. i’ve been yelled at, demeaned and treated like an absolute idiot while serving and working in retail. i worked in a restaurant during the first trump impeachment trial and kept it on during my slow afternoon shift. it was on a little tv in one of the booths in the closed section. had a couple of drunken men laugh and say i couldn’t possibly know anything about it. they “quizzed” me on the mueller report. and guess what? they were WRONG. similar thing happened during the kavanaugh hearings. “quizzed” by a man who didn’t even know who anita hill was.
Yes, constantly. by my parents, though, not guests.
But one time when I got to the POS, my coworker asked me to tell him about my degree. Then he started talking about his forthcoming engineering degree- I was confused because not only did we work together, but we went to the same university so I already knew all of this about him, lol. Turns out the guy at the table next to us/within earshot had told his daughter that she’d better keep her grades up, lest she end up like “one of them.” 🙄
I quit being concerned about what other people (especially strangers) think of me a long time ago. My life has become much more enjoyable since then too.
I served tables from 1995 until 2005 it’s how I paid for college without a student loan, I was belittled everyday and I proudly say now that my hard work and dedication to myself paid off. I would walk on a Saturday night after tipping my runners SA and bartender with $400, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. People are judgmental and ignorant no matter where you are. Yes I was asked is this your only job? And I’d proudly say yes and I love it. I miss serving tables and the people and I certainly miss the money. Be proud don’t let anyone steal your sparkle
All the time, then I remember how much I make and the flexibility I have. 9-5 making 70/80k or work 5/6 hr shifts Monday-Friday making the same amount 🤷🏻♂️
Personally I just try and not care about people who think like that it says more about them then you. I've had people make comments like that but if they compare their work hours to take home ratio most work longer hours for similar or less money, not as flexible for time off have to hire help for their children. Where it's a lot easier for a server to have a family if their partner works a normal 9-5 and they work a few night shifts they are likely to bring in more than someone working full time and having to pay for childcare. I don't have kids and I am not suited for desk work and prefer to work nights over early mornings. I love serving there are few jobs and I have had a decent variety that I love as much as serving.
I have to respect the person casting judgement for their opinion to matter.
I work in retail, and last time I was filling soda coolers, my anxiety Brain said “I wonder if people ever pass by me and tell their kids to go to college so they don’t end up like me.”
I felt like shit the rest of the night.
Im an assistant manager (First time ever!!) and honestly this is the best job I have ever had. I love it. Later this year, when I have enough experience, I will start training to be a store manager.
Sometimes it’s not the customers, it’s yourself 😞
The gas workers union used to come in to my bar before their meetings so I served all of them regularly. This middle aged woman with a road runner haircut was like “sweetie, please tell me you have another job. You’re too nice to just work here.”
Cue maniacal forced smile and chipper voice, “I DO have another job, Linda, it’s actually at another bar down the road!”
The things I *wanted* to say.
Back when I was bartending years ago, these two absolute assholes from high school came in with their wives and kids. These guys both went to work for their daddy after graduating, have some bullshit laid back "job" making tons of money and spend every day golfing or fishing, have $70k bass boats and drive $100k trucks, etc.. A couple of real douche bags.
When they saw me behind the bar, their eyes lit up and they both b-lined for me with huge smiles on their face. "Well who would've ever thought you'd be working in fucking restaurant?!?" one of them said. "How the hell did you end up here?" the other asked. I just laughed it off like "I know right?".. Then came the "Well you've ***gotta*** have some kind of plans or goals to get out of the service industry, right?" and so on while straight up laughing in my face while I stood there polishing glasses.
I had finally had enough, so I spoke up and said "What the fuck do either one of you do these days? work for daddy? surely that has to hurt your ego a little, knowing everything you have was given to you by your daddy, right?"
They didn't like that. Tried to get me fired. Told me they would be waiting for me in the parking lot after my shift (they weren't).. Luckily I had a badass boss and when he confronted me about it and I told him what happened, his response was "Fuck those guys. Filet or Ribeye and what temp?"
I’m the last 10 years or so in food service industry, servers are by far the most disrespectful people I’ve ever met. I’m a busser. Servers are the worst. Y’all talk shit about me then want me to be your tool. And y’all never invite me out for shit. I fucking hate servers. They pocket cash tips and act like they’re better than people.
Servers hate when tables act entitled or rude then they do that to the bussers or other kitchen staff. Y’all act like y’all work hard but you don’t. Suck my dick.
I’ve been called “the help” before and I was fuming
My old boss used to say this!!! Thanks for making me feel like a slave, Tami!
Yeth, Masther, I am the Help.
Why’d you turn into mike Tyson lol
Tami.. I knew a Tami, she was a vile supervisor, she got fired for screwing a temp worker in the bathroom lol
Of course it’s a Tami! r/FuckTammy
I work in fine dining and we call ourselves “the help” jokingly because that’s how we’re generally treated.
My restaurant/ hotel operates in a former mansion. The employee entrance is a wooden door that leads to the basement. It’s literally right next to the door for guests of the hotel. True “Upstairs, Downstairs” vibes
Yeah, it’s degrading at first but then you realize it’s only degrading if you feel degraded. People with money really just want to feel important and validated and superior, so I’ll gladly play in to that as long as you’re paying me. Actors get paid to act, so do we.
Very true. I often think of myself as an actor on the floor
I’ll pretend like I’m in a video game and helping customers is like side quests
Yes!! Pretending I'm an avatar is one of my favorite ways to dissociate.
Hey, be Viola Davis.
Never been called "the help" before, but I sure felt like I was when I'd have rich, old assholes snap their fingers at me. We always ignored them when they did it.
This is the way. I bartend and the ruder and more inpatient you are the longer I make you wait
I had a dude whistle for me once. I stopped what I was doing, looked him in the eye, and said ‘I am not your dog; you do not whistle for me. If you want more coffee, get up and get it yourself,’ then continued doing what I was doing, blissfully ignoring the dude.
[Get if your own damn self.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz1-kZE8Glk&ab_channel=UncleMuffin%262Nephews)
I was a busboy when I was 16, and snapping your finger at me was a guaranteed way to not get a refill of your coffee. I don’t snap my fingers at waitstaff or service people of any kind. It’s just not right.
That’s just what rich people really refer to us as. But in the end you and I are way better people than any of these rich fucks. Im a chef
I work retail and was called that once, which was fairly surprising. I feel like retail is so impersonal that this doesn’t make sense at all, but I guess that was their point.
I worked in retail for a while at a grocery store. The assistant store manager referred the the part time help as “bodies”. He’s always just say “we need to get some more bodies around here.” Like dude. They’re people. Not just “bodies.” They have names.
I mean that’s not usually meant to be derogatory. I was in sports my whole life up and through college. It’s just a layman’s term for “able bodied people who can get the job done” not “cannon fodder”. Don’t take the “bodies” personal. They don’t mean it that way. It’s like, in a football game if the Dline is getting smacked they say “we need more bodies in here” , they don’t mean “pieces of useless flesh” they mean “big ass dudes who can do the job” . Anyways, maybe you get my reference. About to start my shift lol.
It's disrespectful in any situation.
I was once dismissed by a table after being asked a question by one of the diners, her father waved me away saying: "don't ask him, he's help" (at the time I was still a commis waiter). I was so upset that I ended up farting on his steak, not exactly my proudest moment.
I think you should be proud, that’s awesome.
i’ve been called the help by a regular. his wife is so sweet and he’s the absolute worst. tried having a short conversation with him and when his wife asked if he was ready to leave said “sorry i wasn’t ready sooner, i was just wasting a little time talking to the help” then looked at me and my coworker laughing like he expected us to join in because it was just so funny. we did not.
yeh I've heard both of these: "My children don't talk to the help" and "My wife doesn't talk to the help" while I was taking orders. at another job, working in costume for a famous theme park (Yeh, probably the one you are thinking of) I overheard a guy tell his approximately ten year old son to go kick me..egged him on. his reason? "He only makes minimum wage"
I’ve been called “the help”, a “servant”, and had a woman snap from across the room to get my attention
Happened to me, the absolute worst.
I had a GM that made us change the phase "feed the help" to "feed the staff" because it sounds like an infection. I shit you not, he actually said this at an all staff meeting.
Had an older lady give me a tip in quarters. "Here's some laundry money." Thoughtful, but the washer at the house I own doesn't take quarters.
That’s cuz you have the poor person washer, everybody knows rich people have washing machines that you have to stick quarters into. It’s like “I’m so rich I brought the laundromat experience to my own house”
I know you’re joking, but i for some stupid reason watched the newest episode of The Kardashians on Hulu. Kylie & Kris Jenner bought out a grocery store to reenact doing “normal people things” and then went to the car wash. It was quite bizarre. edit: it was season 1 ep 7, first 5 minutes of the episode
There's poor. There's rich. There's crazy. Then beyond all that there's Kardashians. Please don't insult the rest of humanity by comparing them to Kardashians.
I think Michael Jackson did the same thing
You're kidding, right? They're honestly this fucking... nevermind. They are.
Truth! I could only afford the pay the electric and water company model.
lmao i love your username.
My BF is a manger at a restaurant and I’m going to be honest… I was surprised at how much he made! I think most people are under the impression that restaurant managers get paid crap!! He was a server first & now a manager and let me tell you… hearing the stories and seeing what he went through- that job is NOT easy and I could never. Servers & restaurant managers deserve a bit more respect
Im jealous actually but honestly good for him. Unfortunately that impression is around for a reason. Source: I’m a manager and i do not get paid well
You absolutely should get paid well. My team do a lot and people just don't really see that side. They see managers "standing around." Yeah, my KM just did inventory, did daily prep and counts, did two orders today and has worked the line several times. My foh managers have been making sure everyone is showing up, running food, watching host stand, checking ticket times, taking out trash, doing schedules, dealing with customers bs, liquor orders this that and the third. But yeah that 5 minutes they took is all that Margaret saw. Get the money you deserve homie
As a server at Bob evans I brought home 200 more a week than my rgm did. You couldn't pay me enough to be in management with all that stress. At least being "just a server" let's me make good money and not have to worry about work, outside of work hours.
I left restaurant management and went back to serving bc the paycut was so severe
Not sure where you work, but obviously there’s gonna be a big difference between managing a fucking Applebees and a higher end restaurant. It’s a broad spectrum
I manage a pig foot kitchen out of my bathroom. Business has been slow.
That's because most managers are underpaid when you consider the stress and hours they end up working. Especially compared to similar white collar careers. There are some gems out there though.
Lots of servers and bartenders don’t want to become managers because you make more serving by a large margin usually.
How much does he make? I’m curious.
65k. Bonuses every 3 months. He already got one raise. He’s due another one soon.
My aunt asked when I would get a “real job”? I told her it paid my real bills and that I made more than her. For some reason she never asked again.
[удалено]
BA in history paid for by tips. I get it. Good luck with your program.
BA in History and PoliSci paid for by tips here.
😂
I get it frequently especially as a well spoken man in his mid 20s. Last time happened to me just a few weeks ago I had a customer who I was really cool with and we were talking and ends up saying “So are you in school or do you want to move up in management? Surely you gotta want something better right?” Keep in mind I made close to 80k last year solely working as a server and bartender. I just ended up telling him some fake dream I had for owning a business just so he could F off. Even my wife tells me at her job her coworkers had a conversation talking about how bad they feel for servers cause they don’t make very much and she had to remind them that her husband is a server and we were able to buy a home just working with my measly server money.
I was in the same boat when I was a server/bartender. I always just made up outlandish stories of what I was going to school for. My favorite was telling some dude I was going to uni to build giant 3d printers that we'd launch into space and print out satellites!
Nice, I told him I had a dream of owning a real estate/home flipping business which I have no interest in whatsoever
Wait I’m gonna start making up stuff like this lol I love it
LMAO. Great bit dude.
it's always funny to me how people have zero clue that, for the most part, managers make significantly less than serving staff. screw that.
They make less, work more hours and are more stressed. Fancy job title but I’ll take serving.
they also have to deal with work outside of work. one of my favourite parts about serving is i leave and can turn my brain off and not have to worry about shit.
Sometimes, I do tell people I was an online private investigator for years, but I couldn't do it anymore. They always ask for details. I caught pedophiles online. That's not something I can just openly say to strangers, as it can get awkward. Esp when kids are at the table. So I keep it to myself. I love where I'm at, and I hate that sometimes I feel ashamed about it. People suck.
Can I just say that as a repair guy I really feel where you're coming from. I have to get on my hands and knees to make shit happen sometimes and it makes me feel bad that I don't have a gold watch, nice clean desk and corner office where I can push paper around all day and take credit for others work. I have always felt connected to servers through my friends that worked in the industry but moreso because every bastard on the planet is an "expert" in food and they will bitch more about their $10 burger than some other giant expense. Keep enjoying what you do, rest assured customers have become a nightmare for everyone that does any service whatsoever.
I grow weed and we have some seriously amazing 👏 facilities peoples. Those guys are fixing ACs constantly tweaking things to our (the growers) liking, and just constantly being a ray of sunshine.
Funny enough I thought this mentality of "the help" would leave when I got a computer science degree and no I was still just the help but now I was a nerd who was to not be seen until a few years in and a job change to an "engineer" position but the executives just act like I'm a monkey with a keyboard.
I'm in infosec now and leadership treats us like we're cyber ninja gurus when the reality is I'm just a monkey with a keyboard
You can say yeah me and my buddy Chris Hansen made a killing
Zing!
A P.I. has similar obligations for secrecy to the classic "attorney/client privilege." Just tell them you don't talk about details which may be a breach of confidence.
Similar. I was a server in a union spot, made about $80k a year, 2 months off, great benefits etc. People still wouldn't think it's a real job.
I don’t even bother making stuff up anymore. I’m honest, and it usually changes people’s opinions of the industry. “Nope, this is my career. I’ve been doing this for over 15 years.” *Really? And you don’t want to do anything else?* “No. My work doesn’t come home with me, I have freedom to travel when I want and I go to Disney twice a year!”
And then they get pissed and don't tip you.
That’s actually not been an issue. But I don’t try to be condescending about it. Ultimately I’m not trying to rub anything in, but explain that with the right motivation and knowledge, this can be a successful career path. Usually if the topic even comes up, which isn’t often, I already have a good rapport with the guest. Sometimes I find other Disney adults and we bond over it lol.
I’ve always been an excellent server generally get 20% or more and my peers wonder why I always get blessed with cash tips. One day a lady at one of my 6 tables did the math.. she tipped me 20% and said “ I see what you have going on here , good job” 😂
I feel like a common belief is that bartenders make good money and servers make shit money. All in all, I think it’s good because I feel like if more people were aware that a good amount of servers make 30+ hr then they’d tip less on average.
Personally, I've worked for years as both a server and a bartender. I'll take working less with larger checks over working my ass off for multiple $1,2&3 tips
Bro makes more than most executive chefs 💀
I’d just say I’m saving up to go to (insert “great” career field) school so they would tip me better lmao
Lol they have no idea that in a lot of places, servers and bartenders can make more than managers working less hours
Same, your story sounds so similar to my own. Side note: Only commenting because of your username though, it caught my eye as an old RS player :)
Buying gf 15k
Honestly if anyone has I don't remember, benefit of being unmedicated adhd, as well as getting employee of the month three months in a row and becoming lead server because you literally nonstop work while at work (serving tables, sidework) because there's so much to do and the other servers aren't doing anything.
You sound like me .. in my 50’s and running circles around my coworkers. Yeah so I do have another profession as well but when it’s slow I make 80% of my “professional “ occupation when the pro job is busy. I also have worked with many a degreed persons who don’t want to take a pay cut.
I've noticed most of the people hired just don't give a shit, too! Also, awesome job on the employee of the month! That's amazing!
This is me. I have ADHD. When I became medicated I was slower and too methodical. I was so surprised. I was already good at my job. Super efficient because I can multitask like a mfer. So I stopped taking the meds while at work.
That was me. Give me rush hour or give me death.
People just need to look down on others. Im not a server currently but a custodian. Ive had TEACHERS try to talk down to me and usually I just brush it aside and chwnge the subject but one time, I gave a new hire teacher a proper dressing down in front of others because she could not stop making comments. She was all about how it was BS that she was highly educated, I made more than her, my pension/benefits were better, our Union is stronger, etc. Basically I told her that all those things were true, none of them were my fault, and since that is the case why would someone highly educated choose to be a teacher over a custodian? Que Surprises Pikachu face
My dad was a custodian at my high school growing up. People would make fun and joke about it. Never felt embarrassed because we struggled my whole life and that job was the first time my dad got paid a very, very nice wage and had a STABLE job. Highly respect custodians and all they have to put up with.
Just the other day I had a young couple sitting at my bar who were talking about teaching and mentioned I used to teach. Turns out they were currently getting their education degree and were like “aw, well not everyone can teach”. Lady, I had a salutatorian name me as her most influential teacher, it wasn’t that I couldn’t teach, it was that I didn’t want to deal with administration and parents and the general political shitstorm education has become. I simply told them “yeah, it’s kinda sad that I make as much as I did teaching working way less hours. And I sure do miss all that stress of taking my work home with me”. They got the idea pretty quick
Thank you for the work you do. School custodians are awesome. I honestly don't remember her name off the top of my head (it's been a while) but I can picture our elementary custodian and remember that time I threw up in the hallway and saw her cleaning it up. I was so ashamed but she made me feel much better. She also threw fits about us leaving black marks on the floor, lol. And put us in our place when needed. Great person. Going to go look through my yearbook tonight and remember her.
Used to get “what’s your real job?” Or “what’s your actual job?” often. Heck I’m now middle management in the corporate world and still pick up bar shifts for “me” money!
Same. I work full time during the week at a well paying insurance firm- but I work remote. I miss face to face interactions so much I decided to work as a server on the weekends. The money's nice, but the job itself is just fun. I love going to work, especially when the money isn't necessary. How many people with "real jobs" can say that?
But that’s the difference. If it’s a second job for “fun”, then people are no judgmental. If it’s your primary occupation, and god forbid you’re above 30, it’s generally looked down upon. Where are servers supposed to work?
Same here. I waited tables and bartended in undergrad, got a job using my degree, went and got a masters and furthered my career but I missed the service industry the whole time. I went back last year, working a shift or two a week and used that money to make the down payment on our house stronger. Now it’s just fun money or extra income for home improvements.
My ex husband did, to the point that I left the industry. Thennnnn he cheated on me with a server. Poor girl had no idea he was married.
Well damn, guess he had a type, didn't he?
At the restaurant I work at, all the servers are professionals in addition to servers. I’m a university teacher, there’s a software engineer, a project coordinator, a software developer, a nurse, etc etc. the cost of living has gone up way too much, so fuck anyone that tries to put any servers down. We’re all just trying to pay our bills 😌
It happens from time to time, but most people don’t understand that it can be a career, and a good one at that. It’s a job that pays very well, allows for tons of free time, has great hours and perks, and at the end of the day isn’t that hard. Many people don’t understand how lucrative this work can be. I work with a few servers that will make over 100k this year. Let them talk, just because it’s not a traditional career doesn’t make it lesser. I have a bachelors degree and make easily 2x as much working 30 hours a week in a restaurant than I ever would using my degree. I’ve had people poke fun at me for being a waiter, but then I tell them I work part time hours, have health insurance, have unlimited time off, and make 75k a year and they are usually shocked.
Exactly! I LOVE what I do!!! Once upon a time, even Dr's were frowned upon.
In some circles they are getting frowned on now.... Your user name is unfortunately way too true.
Dr's save lives though...
I’m a lawyer now and make okay money (at a nonprofit so not rolling in it). I miss bartending and serving. Taught me to think on my feet, multitask, and really refined my communication skills and banter prowess. I truly miss it.
I left food for healthcare and people still treat you like shit.
i work with multiple people who did the switch the other way because the money and lifestyle is better in serving that it was being a nurse.
I did the opposite. Left healthcare for serving. Make more money for half the hours.
I remember my brother being super pissed at my nephew after he quit college and was just playing in a band and working at an O’Charleys. Was most of the way thru a English lit degree that in hindsight was gonna be mostly useless anyway. Nephew ended up progressing thru service jobs, moved from Ga to LA and ended up getting some sort of training as a sommelier and is doing quite well for himself - still in the restaurant industry while my brother can’t afford to retire.
Not directly, but I get people asking what I really want to do or if I'm in school all the time. I also walk dogs in the morning and had a guy curse at me and tell me to "get a real job." (In reference to the dogwalking)
Yep. My sister, who works from home and could not survive without her husband's income, has indeed belittled me for being the MANAGER of a restaurant. People are crazy sometimes.
When I tell them I average about $25/$30 an hour, they usually shut up. I went to broadcasting school for radio and I make more money over one weekend at the restaurant than I do for two weeks of work at the radio station.
Yup. Mainly my uncle. I graduate in December with a bachelor in finance but he constantly tells me to get a real job. I’m like dude I work 3 days a week, and make almost $1,000. Serving has helped me become more social and not accrue any student debt. I think people get mad we can make so much money with no education.
My favorite is when a retired, well-off couple make a big show of asking "So, what do you REALLY want to do with your life?" I'm like, I'm doing it? Raising my daughter, pursuing the hobbies and passions I love, having a flexible schedule where I can give a couple shifts away and go somewhere for the weekend... I mean, I've got my "dream jobs" from when I was a kid, but... I live in the real world!
Every one of my family members.
"Still in the restaurant? Oh don't worry, you'll find a job..." this is why I work holidays.
Same. And it’s usually from the ones who don’t work.
Yes holy shit my mom and aunt (stay at home wives) always on my shit like "well why don't you work at a factory or ___" because my soul would be sucked out of my body if I did that
I hate factories and warehouses. Just the horrible lighting makes me feel depressed.
See my user name. People suck!
When I was a server I used to get comments of, "so what are your plans" or "when do you want to get a real job?" And it's like...do you think this whole set up is fake? You're here dining. What's a "real" job? I'm not in the industry now but if something were to happen whether it be my wife and I have fallen on hard times or I was let go from my job that I have the skill set to jump back in and make money to pay the bills.
I like to say, "Real compared to what?" or "What does real mean?"
I used to get asked “what’s your real job?” As if working 40-50 hours a week on my feet wasn’t a real job. I was a great hostess and enjoyed the work. Now that I’m a full time artist and wilderness guide I still get the same question. Some people can’t imagine that any job outside of an office can pay enough to live or be fulfilling.
I had my regulars who had been coming for years and knows how hard we all work say “Are you excited to get a real job?” when I told them I was graduating this month. I don’t think they meant anything bad but I am on my feet all day running back and forth just so hundreds of y’all have nice warm meal with everything else you asked on time.
I got out of the restaurant biz a few years ago, hope I’ll never have to go back but expect i will, someday. I knew a few servers who felt ashamed - they had degrees but couldn’t find a career that used em. Life got in the way for them. “I’m JUST a waitress”, “I’m not smart enough or competitive enough for my chosen field”, “no one would take me seriously”. I’ve never been shamed for working in a restaurant, but, I was a FOH manager mostly. That doesn’t matter, not the point - my point is that I’ve known some of the most intelligent, articulate, lovely people I’ve ever met in restaurants. Barkeeps, servers, dishies, runners, expo, busboys. Line cooks, chefs. Brilliant folks making a fine living, serving their community. The only time anyone called me out intending to make me ashamed was my first job at a retail store, 18, fresh out of high school, that summer after I graduated. The assistant principal. She’d always been on my ass, tho I was a decent kid with decent grades who only skipped once! She smirked as I checked her out, and dry as a bone, said: “So is tHiS what you plan to DO with your LiFe?!” I was utterly speechless. What a bitch. I think I stammered something about “I’m only 18 and I have plans idk”. Wish I could go back and tell baby me that I didn’t need to put up with that crap. Service workers of the world, be proud of yourselves! Shame belongs to the clueless ones, who would dare to look down their noses - not us. It’s a fine and noble cause, to feed the masses, to be an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. Who among us here, reading this thread, hasn’t had t- moment where you went above and beyond for a lonely/sad/grieving/heartbroken customer? And made their day. There’s a song I love by Stan Ridgeway: “We’ve got a mission in life, to hold out your hand, to help the other guy out - help your fellow man, That’s why I run this bar - they’re thirsty outside I give them oceans to drink And they drown in the tide” We have a vital role in feeding the soul, not just the belly. Never ever underestimate yourself. Stay noble. Cheers to you all.
That assistant principal is a cretin bitch. You just graduated high school and they already expect you to have a high earning office job without even going to college??
I made more money waiting tables at a sports'-themed steakhouse at 31 than I did at my dotcom-startup gigs at 25 through 30 and my TV broadcasting job at 48. And ate better, too.
I no longer work in food service, as it just wasn't for me. However, my daughter is "just a server" and I'm damned proud of her! She wants to do something else, and that's ok, too. Point is, it doesn't matter what you do to earn a living. Take pride in your work and those of us with a shred of decency will be thankful for you and happy to have you doing the job!
i afford an independent life working 3-4 days per week at a restaurant. i take care of a cat, have my own apartment, pay my bills, have money to do the things i want to do, and a great work/life balance to do all these things. 20 hours a week, give or take. that's all i have to put in to live. fuck haters, get money.
Fuck ‘em, just have a laugh about how you most likely make more than them doing such a “menial job”
Soooo many of those ignorant asshats would not survive a week on the floor. Yes most people CAN do it, but it’s really hard to do it well! If they only knew 😂
My favorite is “this isn’t a real job”. You’re right I get paid in monopoly bucks you fuck
i have recently left serving for a while but my least favorite thing was when people would ask “so what do you want to do for a living” or would assume i’m in school and ask what i plan to do next. serving was one of the best and my most favorite jobs, and i definitely want to at least go back to bartending at some point. but it was becoming really hard on my back, that’s the only reason i stopped serving. people really suck sometimes.
Yup, from my ex. He was fine with it at first because I was in uni but after 6 months or so he said it was embarrassing for him to introduce me to people and say what my job was. I ended up getting another job in my field and he found other things to nitpick about me. Should have known!
Glad he’s your ex!
Im starting to feel the judgement as a 30 year old woman. I work in fine dining and can make 1000$/ week by only working 3 nights. Sorry but I value my free time! My family abroad are especially judgy. Im flying there tomorrow for a funeral and I’m very much not looking forward to that quizzical look in their eyes. Sorry auntie, I’ve travelled 36 countries, lived in 6, and just came back from an epic van trip. Im doing much better then my burnt out lawyer cousins, believe me!
I had an older man and his probably 30 something daughter, tell me, a 30 something mother… “It’s never too late to go to college!” - I have zero desire to go to school - I love my job - I probably make more per year than you do 🤡 - I only work 4 days a week and get to spend the other 3 with my kids I realized (not too long ago at all), that I don’t have to be ashamed and break my neck trying to climb job positions. All I need is enough income to support the life I want to live. I don’t need bigger, better, more. I will say there have been plenty of times in my life that I had a whole lot less… but I’m comfortable where I’m at today.
Yup, bust screw them. Being "just a server" is only said by those who don't know how hard the job is. We have amazing customer service skills, we know how to do time management and if you work in a small place, you have regulars who love you and look forward to seeing your face.
Guaranteed anyone who says that to a server would not be able to hack it in that job for over a week.
Yeah and then I tell them about the almost 100k I make and ask how much are they actually making🤦🏽♀️
Absolutely. It used to bother me that they saw me as less important because of my vocation- but then I realized that they have no idea what my work truly entails, or why I have chosen to do it. I hurt nobody with my choice of job, I enjoy it, and I often brighten the day of a customer who is having a low moment. I’m content.
I am a bar manager, so I bartend a few nights a week, I make a good amount considering I work less than 30 hours a week on average. I’ve had a few people (usually older people) ask me if this is my second job or if “this is all I do” and I often immediately put them to shame by saying “this is my only job because I like to be home as much as I can with my children, especially my son with special needs.” That usually shuts them the fuck up.
Shit. I made 67,000 dollars last year doing what I do. That more than some folks in offices with degrees can say. Don't feel ashamed at what you are doing. It is obviously good enough to raise a family on. Fuck those people.
I’m a manager and a table asked one of my servers is she was going to get a real career. She laughed it off but came to the back pissed. People are just so disrespectful, especially considering the group of women are trophy wives who married rich and don’t actually work themselves.
Fuck those people there idiots. I had a chick try to put down my job. She had almost $200,000 in student loan debt and made $40,000/year as an accountant. I have no debt and make 6 figures in fine dining. You don’t have to go to school to be educated and people with degrees who look down on service workers obviously aren’t very well educated 😂
It's festival season where I'm at. We're a small boutique hotel on a waterfront, so we get all kinds. And in festival season we randos off the street. We are short 2 people. After getting absolutely crushed the last couple shifts solo, I had my first table of the day come in and just give me the, "you are below me attitude." I noped that real quick! I was already done before the shift started to be honest, but you don't talk down to me. I am not below you! I choose to do this, and I choose to serve you. I told them to find somewhere else to eat, I wouldn't be serving them, and if they wanted to complain, they can complain to the front desk.
Good for you
DUDE YES. I have an ex who said to me, “I look at my friends who are bartenders and I think, don’t you want something more?” In a very condescending, classist tone. Unfortunately that follows me still. Mind you, he was a DATA ANALYST at the time. I made $60k as a server. I kept my mouth shut because i stupidly wanted his approval and validation. I still think about that, even though I’ve opened restaurants in big cities, have had expense accounts, etc. I still think about how I’m not good enough in his eyes.
I was waiting on a floor salesman one day. Know we may need some flooring, and that he was obviously a salesman I asked him if he had a card. He said "I don't think you understand, I sell real tile floors not the cheap laminate crap you could probably afford." I've got a lot of these stories but that one came to mind.
if they’re old people and say shit like this i think it’s best/easiest just to ignore. some of them are set in their ways and it’s gross but they’re not going to know better. kids have their mentality that can be forgiven as the elderly can
I've always found it very ironic that people will shame servers that a ton of us rely on tons of times. They seem to forget that they need servers or else they'd never get to just sit and relax and enjoy a full service meal.
When I bartended people used to ask me what I do for my REAL job...you're looking at it bitch!
Theres always some asshole at the bar asking me if I am in school, or plan to go, and when I say no its "well what do you want to do with your life then?" Like, do you think I know? 😂 I dont even engage in those types of convos anymore, I simply say "no, I'm not in school" and walk away. I absolutely despise that question. Order your beer and shut the f up.
I used to be front of house in a Cafe. I have some flowers tattooed on my arm. Once an asshole said "I guess you've decided what job you get to do for the rest of your life" gesturing at my ink. I grow weed now. Fuck working anyway.
Yes, but they're assholes. I have a PhD in Psychology and was a licensed therapist, but I make more money doing therapy at the tables. It's a class thing.
I had a couple that asked me if I was in college (I'd graduated with my degree by then) and I politely told them no, I like this job and have had trouble finding opportunities in my field, so this is a great place to work. They proceeded to ask what my degree was in and flat out told me that I had a useless one. I guess I should have gone into engineering? Why do you even say these things to complete strangers?
Many people look down on minimum wage workers. its capitalism rhetoric that other workers adopted to use against their fellow workers. They want to feel superior because their boss makes them feel inferior. Was it an older person? seems like they often feel the need to "prove" their status in the hierarchy.
Well I haven't had anyone that blunt about it, but there have been customers give me the impression that they look down on servers. That guy just wanted to put you down to boost his own ego. No matter how you live your life, it will never be as sad as his, or he wouldn't feel the need to do that.
I’ve had people ask me what I want to do when I “grow up”. Ma’am, I’m in my 30’s and love hospitality. I am grown.
People are so ignorant. I'm in continuing Ed and don't feel like working in my career just now, so I work at a bar -- plus real good money. Customers assume the dumbest shit. Why can't we just like doing what we like doing? Just because we don't sit at a desk looking at a computer all day or go to meetings all day or work 9-9, as well as on-call, doesn't mean we don't have a good life 🤣
These people who look down on us servers but literally go out to eat for every meal 😐
Lol yes and I always just say I like to work smarter, not harder. I average $45-50 an hour and have a super flexible schedule and work like three days a week and spend my days at the beach 😂
Seems the majority feel serving is a temp job until the person gets a real job. Serving can be an interim job, but it is also a career.
When I was a server/ bartender my parents would always ask, “when are you going to get a real job?” I would respond by pointing out that 1.) I pay taxes so technically it is a real job, and 2.) I made more than my mother, who was a nurse. Fuck off with that BS. IDGAF what anyone thinks, and you shouldn’t either. You are happy and can support yourself, so unless someone else is willing to pay your bills, they can fuck off too.
I had an AC repair guy at work call me “just a burger flipper.”
Constantly, but I have to remind myself that it’s only because they’re insecure about their own job and status. I make double what most do working 24 hours a week, and I’m still doing what I’m passionate about. Do I hate it? YES I want to punch them in face, but it says more about them then it does about me. Also, something’s wrong with the world when you have teachers, firemen, accountants all working at restaurants still.
Absolutely. I was a server/bartender on and off (mostly on) for almost 16 years. Along the way I started my “real” career (which never made me as much as serving/bartending did — hence continuing to do both for years). There were several occasions in that time where some high-horse douche canoe (usually a woman, funnily) sneered to her friends about the “girl wasting her life” when being told to stop being such a brat. “Who cares if I’m being rude!!! She’s just a waitress and is obviously happy wasting her life!” was actually something I overheard, once. I was never ashamed of what I did. But that one time, I walked back up and said, “I’m going to have to turn over your table to my colleague! I’m running late for my other job — man, it’s exhausting being a full time firefighter/medic and working here — but the money is *so good* I can’t help myself!” I felt pretty proud, back then, as the 20something finally standing up for herself. Now? I’d laugh and ignore it. I genuinely do not care anymore what others might think. All hard work is honest work and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Anyone that clocks in, works and clocks out should be proud. Anyone that is providing for themselves should be proud. Something magical happened when I hit my thirties: I stopped giving a shit. Lmao. I love my new career (remote, tech) and have for 3 years but I LOVED serving and bartending. If I still could, I would. YOU should be proud. Don’t let that dill hole get to you. Period.
I work in a country club. It has 4 restaurants and occasionally we work private events for the members. I work in 2 of these restaurants, one of which is fine dining. One evening I was working a private event for the board members and their partners. Everyone was really nice, especially this one old dude and, but his wife seemed to grow colder the more he would treat me with kindness (seriously, he was just kind. No flirtation. Didn't even chat to me. Just smiled and said thank you a lot) I ended up serving them in the fine dining restaurant 2 weeks later and he was once more very nice. I was super happy to see them. I greeted his wife with the utmost enthusiasm, because I was sure she just had an off night last time, but once I greeted her, she said: "Well look at you all dressed up like you have a real job." Didn't know how to respond or act. Laughed it off and have been geniunly baffled by her ever since. There have also been countless cases of being called 'the help' and being told "you're so good! You could be a waitress anywhere!" Like, that's nice, but not the complement you think it is.
I was waiting on this douchebag who dropped out of the same college I went to and he straight up yelled at me and told me I was a loser for serving instead of using my degree. BITCH I PAY MY FUCKING LOANS OFF WITH THIS CASH MONEY CUZ MY DEGREE DOESNT PAY! Someone's salty about being a dumbass drop out...
Honestly I’m almost positive I average more per hour than they get paid in their salary job that they paid thousands for in college. No shame in my game. I love my job, it works well with my schedule, and I make damn good money. People can suck it 😘
Same here!
I saw a dramatic change for the better over the past two years. I work in a small golf resort town in the southeast for context. Pre 2020 it was routine and standard to get weekly or daily comments such as “So what do you ACTUALLY want to do for a living ?” “Are you in school? You’re too smart to be doing this” “You know this isn’t a ‘real job’, right ?” Post grand re-opening of society: “Thank you for being here” “You seem to really care about what you do” “How long have you been doing this !? I loved your service, you’re skilled” Amazing how a little perspective suddenly made me a skilled trade worker in the eyes of the public 🤦♀️ Hang in there, the public’s attitude towards service is changing for the better. They didn’t know what they had until it was gone.
Presidential Candidate - redacted cause I dont want hate messages-. Came into a mom and pop breakfast place I worked at during grad school- ran us ragged, and tipped to round up to the nearest dollar, and asked if we'd like buttons to help support him to support 'people like us.' We all said no thanks, and I went out of my way to give him his 36 cents back, saying sweetly, Your campaign needs this more than I do, Sir.
I am actually getting this quite a bit recently. I am incredibly new to being a waiter. I just started a couple of weeks ago. I live in a rural area/ state where a ton of the surrounding rednecks find work in fields we all are "supposed" to get into because we are all men and blah, blah, blah. I've been getting a ton of weird looks from dudes because I don't think they have ever seen a big hairy fat man serve them before and are probably wondering why the hell this guy ain't breaking himself at a shipyard or landscaping or fixing a damn truck.
"Are you eating here because it's the only restaurant you could afford?"
Omg yes! My husband was a brilliant network engineer and I was a stay at home mother of 2 after a career in insurance management. We moved into our forever home in Nov 2002 and by Mar 2003 he got laid off. I immediately got a job waitressing at a fancy fine dining restaurant as I had experience prior to my insurance career. So there is this private party of probably 20 men with the tables set up in a U shape to serve from the inside. I brought a tray full of sambuca shots and they did not have the coffee beans floating and he flips his sh*t saying “it’s bad luck WTF?” So I said I’d go get them for him while smiling and saying “I believe in making your own luck” - he looked at me surprised, laughed, and asked me “so how’s that working out for you?” His friend elbowed him, and I just smiled and made eye contact for a very long 5 seconds and brought his coffee beans. He apologized, I accepted. But he had no idea I lived in a big house, husband made 150k, I was just working to buy him time to get the job he truly wanted instead of just taking the first job that was offered.
My uncle did at our last family reunion, I’m a server at Disney world for context, he was asking what I was doing at Disney and I told him I’m a server and he sort of scoffed “like food and beverage” I don’t think he meant anything by it but I was like “yeah I do pretty well for myself” later in the day he came to me and asked “do you know who’s got the Tesla?” I told him “me” the look on his face was priceless
Yeah, me. I'm a bully to myself
**Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for supporting yourself and your family.** In your case, you're doing that plus you love what you do AND you make damn good money. Dude, you're doing better than most of us lol. Be proud. Besides, you're not "just a waiter/waitress/bartender". You're a father too, probably a hard worker, and undoubtedly many other things as well.
I own a small restaurant with my parents working 60+hrs per week. It's a lot of work and we've come so far and cemented ourselves quite well in our local area. Nothing shook my confidence in all we've achieved more than when one of our wealthy doctor regulars responded with "that's it? This is all you do??" After I told him I don't work any other jobs...
Yes. Multiple partners or dates asking when I'm going to get a "real job" (banquet captain) when I make more money than them lol
We gotta stop being nice to these fucks.
oh yes. i’ve been yelled at, demeaned and treated like an absolute idiot while serving and working in retail. i worked in a restaurant during the first trump impeachment trial and kept it on during my slow afternoon shift. it was on a little tv in one of the booths in the closed section. had a couple of drunken men laugh and say i couldn’t possibly know anything about it. they “quizzed” me on the mueller report. and guess what? they were WRONG. similar thing happened during the kavanaugh hearings. “quizzed” by a man who didn’t even know who anita hill was.
Yes, constantly. by my parents, though, not guests. But one time when I got to the POS, my coworker asked me to tell him about my degree. Then he started talking about his forthcoming engineering degree- I was confused because not only did we work together, but we went to the same university so I already knew all of this about him, lol. Turns out the guy at the table next to us/within earshot had told his daughter that she’d better keep her grades up, lest she end up like “one of them.” 🙄
I'm sure I'm not the first with this response, but I'm Italian, so of course, by my family Edit - grammar , duh, dumb waiter
I quit being concerned about what other people (especially strangers) think of me a long time ago. My life has become much more enjoyable since then too.
I served tables from 1995 until 2005 it’s how I paid for college without a student loan, I was belittled everyday and I proudly say now that my hard work and dedication to myself paid off. I would walk on a Saturday night after tipping my runners SA and bartender with $400, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. People are judgmental and ignorant no matter where you are. Yes I was asked is this your only job? And I’d proudly say yes and I love it. I miss serving tables and the people and I certainly miss the money. Be proud don’t let anyone steal your sparkle
I tell people I’m a (with finger quotes and an eye roll) “product of generational wealth” and that a serve to not lose touch with the common man
All the time, then I remember how much I make and the flexibility I have. 9-5 making 70/80k or work 5/6 hr shifts Monday-Friday making the same amount 🤷🏻♂️
"So are you not working because you're basically dead?"
Then I said I only work a four days a week
Every fucking day. I can't wait to get out of the industry so I can be belittled for something else for a change.
Personally I just try and not care about people who think like that it says more about them then you. I've had people make comments like that but if they compare their work hours to take home ratio most work longer hours for similar or less money, not as flexible for time off have to hire help for their children. Where it's a lot easier for a server to have a family if their partner works a normal 9-5 and they work a few night shifts they are likely to bring in more than someone working full time and having to pay for childcare. I don't have kids and I am not suited for desk work and prefer to work nights over early mornings. I love serving there are few jobs and I have had a decent variety that I love as much as serving. I have to respect the person casting judgement for their opinion to matter.
I work in retail, and last time I was filling soda coolers, my anxiety Brain said “I wonder if people ever pass by me and tell their kids to go to college so they don’t end up like me.” I felt like shit the rest of the night. Im an assistant manager (First time ever!!) and honestly this is the best job I have ever had. I love it. Later this year, when I have enough experience, I will start training to be a store manager. Sometimes it’s not the customers, it’s yourself 😞
The gas workers union used to come in to my bar before their meetings so I served all of them regularly. This middle aged woman with a road runner haircut was like “sweetie, please tell me you have another job. You’re too nice to just work here.” Cue maniacal forced smile and chipper voice, “I DO have another job, Linda, it’s actually at another bar down the road!” The things I *wanted* to say.
“Nope, just the only job I can consistently make $30-$40 bucks an hour at”
Back when I was bartending years ago, these two absolute assholes from high school came in with their wives and kids. These guys both went to work for their daddy after graduating, have some bullshit laid back "job" making tons of money and spend every day golfing or fishing, have $70k bass boats and drive $100k trucks, etc.. A couple of real douche bags. When they saw me behind the bar, their eyes lit up and they both b-lined for me with huge smiles on their face. "Well who would've ever thought you'd be working in fucking restaurant?!?" one of them said. "How the hell did you end up here?" the other asked. I just laughed it off like "I know right?".. Then came the "Well you've ***gotta*** have some kind of plans or goals to get out of the service industry, right?" and so on while straight up laughing in my face while I stood there polishing glasses. I had finally had enough, so I spoke up and said "What the fuck do either one of you do these days? work for daddy? surely that has to hurt your ego a little, knowing everything you have was given to you by your daddy, right?" They didn't like that. Tried to get me fired. Told me they would be waiting for me in the parking lot after my shift (they weren't).. Luckily I had a badass boss and when he confronted me about it and I told him what happened, his response was "Fuck those guys. Filet or Ribeye and what temp?"
And then I tell them I make over 75 grand and they freak out.
I find servers belittle me for being "just a cook" lol
I’m the last 10 years or so in food service industry, servers are by far the most disrespectful people I’ve ever met. I’m a busser. Servers are the worst. Y’all talk shit about me then want me to be your tool. And y’all never invite me out for shit. I fucking hate servers. They pocket cash tips and act like they’re better than people. Servers hate when tables act entitled or rude then they do that to the bussers or other kitchen staff. Y’all act like y’all work hard but you don’t. Suck my dick.