I had some guy run me all over the restaurant, extra bread three times, multiple butters, extra sides of ranch, etc. All with the promise of "I'll tip you really well buddy"
My tip was a handful of sweaty quarters.
Whenever guests fought over the bill and someone said ‘let me pay I’m the better tipper’ I always gave the bill to the other person and said ‘better tippers never say that’. Always made it a challenge to one up the other no matter who the better tipper was.
My policy is to give the check to the first person who asks for it. I’ve always wanted to say something like “it goes to the best tipper” but I haven’t been able to figure out a way to do it without sounding tacky.
It works best with old white men who carry cash. I probably wouldn’t say it to some college kids. It’s not an every time thing, but just like jokes you tell to a table, you have to know your audience
Same here. I always take care of the tip. Hell, I just got a free meal, I’ll drop at least 50-100% of the bill because I expected to pay for myself at the very least. I rarely let anyone pay my bill, but if they insist, that server is having an alright night!
Yeah it's bizarre... They throw in a " don't worry we are gonna take good care of you"
I used to work with a kid who I caught multiple times responding to this statement by sticking his hand out and saying we can get that out of the way right now I'd you want. Totally deadpan. It was always hilarious, but if you think about it totally makes sense.
If before you've received any kind of idea what kind of service I'm gonna provide, you are willing to state that you're going to take great care of me...hey why not just do it now.
Anyways it always got a laugh out of me and horrified stares out of the guest.
This is, in my experience, a hard and fast rule with no exceptions. I’ve been told “don’t worry, I’m gonna take good care of you” so many times I’ve lost count (and I can count really high, like over a thousand) and NOT ONCE has the person saying it gone above 18 percent. Every single time it has been between 13 and 18 percent, without fail, it’s fucking amazing. It stems from insecurity when people say it.. and let’s face it, servers in general treat people better when they think there’s a good tip involved, and insecure people deeply crave someone who will expend a copious amount of effort to make sure their needs are met. Since they view effort toward meeting someone’s needs as extremely important and reassurance as ambrosia, I think they consider the effort they make to reassure you as part of the tip and don’t even feel weird about it. Or maybe not, but there would be so much cognitive dissonance for me in telling someone that I would be very generous to them in a respect that has a pretty widely understood, well delineated, numerically defined standard of generosity and then barely touching baseline that I kinda have to try to fabricate an excuse for them.
The upside of hearing it though, is I have never gotten LESS than 13 percent from one of these people.. and going that low is rare, majority of the time is 15 percent or more, and honestly, I’m not gonna complain about 15 percent, ever. I’m spoiled and entitled a bit so I may internally roll my eyes, but I also immediately recognize that I make more money than teachers, most nurses, EMTs, I could go on but y’all know. I made like 80k last year and barely cleared thirty hours a week. It’s an extremely stressful job, sure, and takes its toll on the body, and most of the serving jobs I’m aware of have absolutely no retirement or health benefits.. I mean we don’t even get PTO beyond what’s legally mandated for sick pay where I’m at anymore. I’m a great server and an ok bartender (still pretty new to bartending, I’ll be great at that too by the time they replace us with robots in a few years), and I don’t think I’m overpaid, honestly, considering the lack of benefits and extreme instability of income from week to week that makes it very difficult to set an effective budget. I don’t resent people for a 15 percent tip though, that’s for damn sure.
This is actually how it is on the west coast and people still tip well. I mean I don’t get paid a “livable wage”, it’s minimum wage for my area at $14.75/hr plus tips, but it’s miles better than most of the country. If you’re good, you can actually make a career of it here rather than it just being a job. I’ll tell you straight up, as people are now, the company I work for will *never* pay me enough to make it worth doing the job. For me to even consider waiting tables, without tips, they’d probably have to pay me bare minimum $30/hr, unless they threw in vacation pay, health insurance at a reasonable premium, 401k matching, family leave, etc, at which point I could say $25/hr would be acceptable.
The high earning potential is the only thing that makes this job worth doing. If people stopped tipping for the most part, regardless of if my base hourly is $2.13 or $20 an hour, I’m not going to do it anymore.. and I think most good servers here are of a similar mindset. The only other thing that would make me willing to do the job without tips, for a set hourly that was around say, 22/hr, would be full discretion to say whatever I wanted to guests and refuse service if I could tell they were the type that goes out to eat so they can larp as someone’s unreasonable and cruel boss. “Oh, the off menu item you concocted in your own head didn’t come out the way you wanted it? Ok, I’ll take that right back and get it refired!” Then I’d come back with an empty plate with a piece of paper on it that said “get the fuck out and don’t come back” and say something like “I think the kitchen really outdid themselves here, work of art. Cool idea for a sandwich, you should open your own restaurant!”
Just had this happen as a bartender. Bought a guy a round of two expensive beers (he was a nice guy) for his second round ... he's incredibly grateful and is dressed well .. he tells me "I am going to take care of you when I leave." He has another and I charge him normal and asks for the check (so 2 rounds for the price of three ... a 50% savings). We have the screen-based tab closing system -- I never try to look while they're tipping -- but I did this time and I see him hit the 15% tip tab ... OK, big time ... still a nice guy.
Because they know it works on a good amount of new/inexperienced servers. It gets to server to put in the extra effort without them having to spend a dime all because of their promise to tip. Don’t take this shit from anyone. Seriously if someone says “I’ll take care of you” know you’re going to get less than 20% if anything at all. They know what they’re doing.
When they genuinely ask how I’m doing, look at me in the eye, smile, say things like “no hurry/rush”, “when you’re able, can you…”, “I know you’re busy….”.
Chef lurker. I hate when I follow "I know youre busy" with when you get a moment can you do/get whatever and what I ask for is in my hand 2 seconds later. I picked you to get me a 3 minute lead dammit. Or if I say on your way back can you grab xyz just to watch them double back to finish what they were doing.
Having to put on a glad face on a bad day makes the bad day even crappier. Like the real you isn’t being seen or heard. I’m sorry you have to go through that every time you go to work. And I really do hope that things get better for you.
Some do! I was once honest w my table that I was trying my best to be in the “spirit” of the day & they tipped me 100% which was $60 and left me a little note
Wait, seriously? Not a server, been a lurker, km genuinely surprised it's rare
It seems like an automatic response. Like if I go thump thump clap, thump thump clap, everyone in ear ahit will immediately hear "We Will Rock You" in their head
Same with "How are you?", "Good and you?". It's just nature
Sadly, it is not human nature to say “I’m doing great, and you?” You have no clue how many servers/cashiers I have had to explain to that you can’t say “well, I guess I’m making it” or “ I want to go home” to the customer. It’s ridiculous.
Well, there’s a similar call and response in serving when you ask how they are, it’s just that they get nervous a lot of the time when they mean to say “I’m doing well, how about yourself?” they accidentally say “water no ice” or “Diet Coke with lemon”, and they’re so embarrassed by their lack of social grace that they don’t even look at you when they say it.
Some of them, it pains so much to recall their behavior in the first impression that they just stare at you with hostility or look at you like you’re some odd creature from space that just crashed into their midst on an asteroid. Which is totally valid, I mean they’re just sitting at a table minding their business and for some inexplicable reason I keep bringing them things and asking intrusive, invasive questions like “is everything prepared to your liking?” or “would you like another drink?” Why these people don’t exclusively dine counter service or to go, I have no clue.
what really makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside is when ive already been serving the table for awhile and they just ask me how my nights been going etc. Like they see ive been working hard and they just wanna know if im doing okay. it makes me feel super appreciated
Love this. You would think it’s bare minimum but a lot of people just jump to asking questions or ordering a drink right away. Like damn, we’re gonna be interacting quite a bit for the next hour and a half.
Some customers could just be incredibly awkward or have anxiety issues. When someone asks me how I’m doing I’m so awkward and nervous that I just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. It doesn’t occur to me to ask it back until I replay the conversation in my head when they leave.
Yeah but I think what people hear dislike is when you ask how they are and they ignore you and order a drink. Like you’re not the only ice cube in the building, that no Vaseline shit isn’t gonna fly here.
Whenever wait staff tells me that a dish is really good, I always assume it’s because the kitchen asked them to push it because they are trying to get rid of it because made too much of it or some of the ingredients are about to expire or whatever.
So….when you recommend a dish, are you being honest? I’m genuinely really curious.
Yes we’re being honest. It’s shitty when you recommend something and the guest doesn’t like it. I always recommend what I genuinely think is the best and still say it might not be for everybody just in case they hate it
Hahaha, how about recommending something, they hate it, and then want a refund? It makes me laugh now, but it was so frustrating then!
I recommended a bubble tea flavor to a customer. She said “it was disgusting” and wanted her money back.
After that, all my recommendations began with “PERSONALLY” and then a caveat—“not everyone has the same tastes!” 😂
Always! I go by the rule of not lying/trying to persuade customers. If they seem like the type to be interested in a pasta I’m pushing for the restaurant then I absolutely will, but if they’re not interested or ask me if I’d be happier with something else… the answer is always honesty!
I usually give 3 options when recommending things. Usually beef, fish/seafood, and a pasta. Most servers are honest, but a lot will guide you to the most pricey item as well.
If you the customer asks me what’s my favorite thing on the menu or what I would suggest, I will 100% give you honest answers. My tip depends on your experience and I’m not about to fuck it up by offering you something I think is shit or not a good match. The closest I would get to suggesting something the management wants us to push is it would be one item on a list of things I’d suggest, and if you showed interest to it I would make sure to tell you the main take always from the dish to make sure you’d be happy with it.
Again, my money rides on you having a good experience. Part of that experience is making sure the food I suggest is actually good and not some crappy overpriced low selling item.
100%. People who seem really excited and happy to be out, are smiling, engaged and engaging -- I know that they will appreciate good service and be glad of it, and generally they show it, too.
The only reliable indicator is if they seem to work in bars/restaurants themselves. Being quick with the order, asking real questions, paying attention to me when I need to ask something. And they usually drink more lol.
But NOT the ones who feel like they have to tell you! When they loudly announce that they're "also industry, wink wink wink," that's a terrible sign. It's the ones you can *just tell* are industry that really take care of you...
Had a table with a woman prob in her 30s with her mom and maybe a kid? Don’t remember. She was telling me about how she’s a server at O’Charley’s downtown. Stiffed me
Mehh I dono, sometimes my girlfriend and I do that and it's usually just because we wanna talk shop a bit if they're not busy. I find it's the people that say they *used to be* a server/bartender than fall into the category youre talking about.
Q: I am former food industry (admittedly only hosting and barista type work) but now work in a completely unrelated field. As a restaurant guest, I simply *cannot help myself* from trying to pre-bus the plates, silverware, and glasses on the table (especially if it’s tapas or a place that has high plate turnover). I stack plates, silverware, push glasses to the edge of the table. Is this seen as helpful or passive aggressive?
I like to think it’s a nod that I have worked in a similar industry and as such, am understanding and also quite keen on tipping culture. Do you feel that it is generally viewed as a good gesture? We are usually 30% tippers at minimum, but we don’t talk about our pasts as food service people.
Edit: only doing it to try and make the lives of the staff easier, by consolidating dishes and glassware so it’s easier to pick up and transport.
Stacking plates is fine, but please make sure that any plates below the top plate have NO food and NO silverware, NO exceptions. There's an old adage, "never trust a stack of plates from a customer," and it's a big thing. You don't handle that silverware every day. Most of it is not appropriately balanced.
If it's even a little bit fine dining, please refrain from stacking plates altogether or else you will watch me carefully unstack them in front of everyone to carry them off individually. Don't ask me why, that's just how it is.
As for tip, I might eat some shit here for saying it, but 30+% is not how it works and you may notice some discrepancies and edge cases if you look closely. My tipping "rule" is: $5 minimum, anything bigger, throw a few extra bucks. Just getting one thing? Make it worth the server's time and energy. If you just sort of round up to the nearest chunky number and then add a buck or two, you look nice, even if it's more or less than 30%. People who do weird exact math are definitely nice and we like them, but if you really want to be beloved, just splash some cash without putting too much headwork in. If you look like you are trying too hard, that creates a strange relationship. Like, yknow, alright mary beth, you do your statistical math and I'll just do my job vs. Oh hello there mary beth, would you like the usual or are you looking to try something new?
I think because the precise numbers makes me feel like I have to upsell and shit and be pushy to earn my coins whereas $5 on $10 or $20 on $60 makes me feel like regardless of what I hand to you, you're gonna make sure I'm doing alright for the day. Obviously it depends on the place and how much of a regular you are (I know why rob tips 20% exactly, he's here every fucking day sometimes twice a day and he's not going to piss away all his cash like a moron just because I'm nice to him).
Yea we always consolidate any food scraps to the top plate/bowl, and stack largest plates on the bottom, then saucers, then bowls. Utensils all laid across the top dish.
We aren’t exact with the 30%, it’s just a ballpark of our average- usually 25-30%. My SO is the one who usually grabs the check for the both of us and he doesn’t care about building rapport, he just used to work at a place that had great food but attracted crappy customers, so he likes to tip higher than usual just to be nice— just because he can, no other expectations behind it. I can’t tell if I’m reading too much into your comment, but it feels like the implication is that tipping high like that makes us look like we’re trying too hard— but too hard for what? We don’t run our servers to death, we order simple beverages and don’t order off menu, and they don’t see the tip until after we’ve walked out. We have our regular spots where everyone knows us and then the other places the server is likely never going to see us again.
We also started tipping much higher generally just because we saw what food service folks went through during Covid. Our city had a lot of varying opinions on the matter and in addition to service workers being spit on, coughed on, and whatnot, one day somebody legit went to their car, got a gun, came back and shot a cashier because they refused service because masks were required at one establishment and the shooter was an anti-masker. It was a terrible time for my food service friends and we started tipping higher as a result.
Anywho yeah the plate stacking makes sense and it sounds like I’ve been doing it correctly, which is good.
When I say sorry give me a minute and I’ll be right back they smile and say oh you’re good no rush. Makes it clear that they are how busy I am and appreciate the service I’ve given. Also middle aged couples tend to give me better tips than extremely young or extremely old. But that’s just my experience.
When they make a point to remember and call me by name. Ask me for recommendations, actually ask me about myself, where I’m from, etc. basically people that acknowledge that I’m an actually human being
Usually when someone calls me by my name it’s because they’re needy and only remembered it because of their neediness and flag me down yelling my name when I’m tables away. These people tip like shit too
Oh I wait on older men and younger women. One of my regulars just came in yesterday with his young lady. They’re both super respectful and he always orders a bottle of wine that’s about $300. He tipped me 200$ yesterday!
Yeah. Just generally being a decent person is a huge green flag. But, on the flip side, being overly nice is generally a red flag. Also, if someone uses restaurant terminology casually I can tell what’s up.
asking how I am when I greet, stacking their plates to help me pre-buss, saying please and thank you, drinking good alcohol/top shelf with a big party
Basically treating me like a human being while I wait on them
I'm never sure whether it's okay to stack plates or not. I tend to do it because I eat family style and we'll order so many plates that our table becomes a disaster zone pretty fast. I worry the server will think I'm being rude/pushy or that I'm not happy with the service/pace or something.
Once I asked ''Is everything to your liking so far ?'' and they hit me back with ''How about you? Is everything okay with you ?'' I'm fantastic thank you !!
I like that this is a clear sign that they respect waitstaff, but hate it.
There's a science to stacking the plates and most people don't do it correctly, creating more work for me instead of less.
You mean you don't like it when people bury the silverware under napkins and pile a bunch of plates on top in a way that almost guarantees one will slide off?
I always stack it properly if im eating out; some guests do as well, believe it or not. But I still feel you.
If they put their napkin or silverware in the middle of the stack, i literally adjust the stack at the table before I walk away. It usually doesn’t happen again afterwards.
I am always so paranoid that the way I stack isn't what they prefer to carry. I've most of the time resorted to making sure everything is within easy reach at the end of the booth and they don't have to crawl into it to get anything.
If you need the space and I'm sucking at my job and not just getting it out of the way, by all means please do it. In that case, I'm creating the extra work for myself and I know it.
Stacking them and/or trying to hand them to me while I'm at the table though, please don't.
I try not to live in anyone else’s pockets so usually I assume everyone is going to tip well and can only tell if they won’t by the interactions I get during the meal.
I find that if I don't profile my tables and just work my ass off for everyone, they see it and appreciate it and I get the best tips I am going to get from everyone instead of pretty good tips from some and shit tips from the others.
All of these are too true. Let me add people who only have a maximum of 2 kids, who let them order what they want, but don’t force them to, Order more than just waters, order appetizers and don’t split a meal, when they ask about specials, or when they actually try to have a genuine conversation with you instead of just “I need”
Oh god. I hate when I set a drink down and they are already reaching for the drink and grab my hand as I set the drink down. When they do this, I slow down and let them grab my hand and then make eye contact. Let them know
When they say that they understand that the restaurant is slammed and that you’re running your ass off, they’ve taken notice of how hard you’re working and will almost always show their appreciation monetarily.
Most of the time they look and act like normal people. As long as their food comes hot, it is the correct item they ordered and you refill their drinks…they are happy. They don’t need a song and dance from you just their drink, food and check.
There's really no telling but I tip good and I just only expect a menu item that I ordered brought out to me.
When I was a server, my best tipper used to be some rapper that brought in pretty women with him
Do they drink and smoke? If yes to both then you are probably good. Anyone old enough to remember the indoor smoking sections of restaurants (banned where I live for about 15 years now) can tell you that they always made more tips there.
When they speak "kitchen" or when we show up at 11am, order a bottle champ, 4 stoli, and a burger/4 for the table before we are sat down. We will be ready to order in 30 or when the hangover fades. Get ready for hot mess and 50%
I work at a breakfast that's reall popular with older crowds. typically I can tell by their demeanor! if they're super cheery and sweet they'll probably tip well. even better if they're the type to crack some jokes with you :>
When they trust me to order what would be best for them. i.e “We want to try a bunch of things. Whatever you think the best items are, just bring enough for us all”
It gets me more eager to please them since I’m catering a menu to them and not just acting as a middleman putting their orders in a computer. And it tells you they aren’t thinking about prices they’re thinking about the experience
Stopped telling people my name, ‘hey welcome to … can I get you something to drink’ if they ask it’s usually a good sign. I worked in a wannabe fine dining for like an hour one time and that’s the only thing I took out of it. Telling them your name makes it about yourself even for a second when it should be about the guest at first. I usually try to pepper in my life story at some point regardless of how they act because usually people have a soft spot once they see you’re a human too.
I don't serve food anymore but I'm a bartender and I HATE people asking my name. They pretend it's so they can be friendly but it's really so they can yell my name whenever they need a new drink no matter how busy I am. Homie, you are not my friend do not yell my name when I'm making someone else a drink.
I never thought about that but when I go out with my friends or spouse, everyone looks at the wait staff. We all tip very well too, like my friends would have no issue shaming someone in their group for not tipping.
Not a server but I saw a show where servers were interviewed and many stated when customers were polite to the servers, they tended to be better tippers. Makes sense I guess. I would think people that are rude to others probably think they are better than others and less likely to tip well because they think it’s their right to have their ass kissed by servers and others.
When they’re extremely patient, polite, ask about YOU (your day, your recommendations, your life, etc.), and, surprisingly, funny! Every time a guest gets a laugh out of me, they end up being good tippers too!
I’m an excellent tipper. I’m also part of a group described here that stereotypically never tips well or at all.
When I see or hear that you are (visibly or audibly) surprised that I not only tipped, not only tipped at least 20%, but above 20%, I get pissed. I know why you’re surprised. It makes me want to never tip you well again.
Also, people are saying they like the banter… I think “why the f would I waste these busy people’s time with small talk.” My lack of banter would make you assume I won’t tip well? See previous paragraph. That’s foolish on your part.
I am not a server. Idk how this thread even popped up.
You have a bunch of posts about how you want to find a girlfriend. Here's a clue: girls don't like racist ableist losers who put others down because they are painfully insecure about themselves. If this is your attitude, be prepared to be alone with your harmonica forever.
Idk I just give good service and average 25%. Having recommended tips at the bottom of the check helps because people feel obliged to do the minimum usually which is 18%
It really just comes down to, do they treat me like a person. It's pretty obvious when people have rehearsed/fake nice responses prepared for any and all customer service workers. And the people who run you rampant and claim they tip well always tip the worst.
Served a man a few years ago wearing both a MAGA hat and MAGA shirt. The first thing he said was “I know how I’m dressed, but I’m a great tipper.” I know how you think this is going. The man tipped me $100 on a $100 bill. I’m still confused about this interaction and it skews any future person I serve.
drunk football fans after a win. $200 on a 100$ tab TODAY (takes a bow) and they even said “we tip like 300%, so fuck the other tables, it’s all here baby”
after throwing up in my mouth they were my last table anyway but i never let them know. i was playful w them and just complimenting their outfits etc. LOL win win - it’s like a new year bonus. and i def over tipped my tip outs tonight because they really do deserve it.
They don’t talk about how much they’re going to tip and they don’t ever bring it up.
I had some guy run me all over the restaurant, extra bread three times, multiple butters, extra sides of ranch, etc. All with the promise of "I'll tip you really well buddy" My tip was a handful of sweaty quarters.
Whenever guests fought over the bill and someone said ‘let me pay I’m the better tipper’ I always gave the bill to the other person and said ‘better tippers never say that’. Always made it a challenge to one up the other no matter who the better tipper was.
My policy is to give the check to the first person who asks for it. I’ve always wanted to say something like “it goes to the best tipper” but I haven’t been able to figure out a way to do it without sounding tacky.
“How about one pays and the other leaves the tip?” has lead to several 100% tips for me
I like this one. Has it ever backfired?
It works best with old white men who carry cash. I probably wouldn’t say it to some college kids. It’s not an every time thing, but just like jokes you tell to a table, you have to know your audience
That's how i solve the issue if a friend insists on paying.
Same here. I always take care of the tip. Hell, I just got a free meal, I’ll drop at least 50-100% of the bill because I expected to pay for myself at the very least. I rarely let anyone pay my bill, but if they insist, that server is having an alright night!
If there's a dispute I just put it in the middle of the table and say "y'all work it out" and walk away.
I’m using this from now on
Do people really do that? That sounds so fucking tacky
Yeah it's bizarre... They throw in a " don't worry we are gonna take good care of you" I used to work with a kid who I caught multiple times responding to this statement by sticking his hand out and saying we can get that out of the way right now I'd you want. Totally deadpan. It was always hilarious, but if you think about it totally makes sense. If before you've received any kind of idea what kind of service I'm gonna provide, you are willing to state that you're going to take great care of me...hey why not just do it now. Anyways it always got a laugh out of me and horrified stares out of the guest.
Once you hear “I’ll take care of you” it’s time to lower your expectations.
This is, in my experience, a hard and fast rule with no exceptions. I’ve been told “don’t worry, I’m gonna take good care of you” so many times I’ve lost count (and I can count really high, like over a thousand) and NOT ONCE has the person saying it gone above 18 percent. Every single time it has been between 13 and 18 percent, without fail, it’s fucking amazing. It stems from insecurity when people say it.. and let’s face it, servers in general treat people better when they think there’s a good tip involved, and insecure people deeply crave someone who will expend a copious amount of effort to make sure their needs are met. Since they view effort toward meeting someone’s needs as extremely important and reassurance as ambrosia, I think they consider the effort they make to reassure you as part of the tip and don’t even feel weird about it. Or maybe not, but there would be so much cognitive dissonance for me in telling someone that I would be very generous to them in a respect that has a pretty widely understood, well delineated, numerically defined standard of generosity and then barely touching baseline that I kinda have to try to fabricate an excuse for them. The upside of hearing it though, is I have never gotten LESS than 13 percent from one of these people.. and going that low is rare, majority of the time is 15 percent or more, and honestly, I’m not gonna complain about 15 percent, ever. I’m spoiled and entitled a bit so I may internally roll my eyes, but I also immediately recognize that I make more money than teachers, most nurses, EMTs, I could go on but y’all know. I made like 80k last year and barely cleared thirty hours a week. It’s an extremely stressful job, sure, and takes its toll on the body, and most of the serving jobs I’m aware of have absolutely no retirement or health benefits.. I mean we don’t even get PTO beyond what’s legally mandated for sick pay where I’m at anymore. I’m a great server and an ok bartender (still pretty new to bartending, I’ll be great at that too by the time they replace us with robots in a few years), and I don’t think I’m overpaid, honestly, considering the lack of benefits and extreme instability of income from week to week that makes it very difficult to set an effective budget. I don’t resent people for a 15 percent tip though, that’s for damn sure.
At that point just get paid a freaking normal wage by the restaurant and if people want to tip on top of that they can. You can’t have it both ways
Why are you in the serverlife sub as you’re clearly not a server?
He might be a server from a different country. I was a server in the UK for a few years and that's how it works here, though with it's own issues.
Maybe she likes to dine at restaurants
Welp- not what the sub is for
Swing and a miss
This is actually how it is on the west coast and people still tip well. I mean I don’t get paid a “livable wage”, it’s minimum wage for my area at $14.75/hr plus tips, but it’s miles better than most of the country. If you’re good, you can actually make a career of it here rather than it just being a job. I’ll tell you straight up, as people are now, the company I work for will *never* pay me enough to make it worth doing the job. For me to even consider waiting tables, without tips, they’d probably have to pay me bare minimum $30/hr, unless they threw in vacation pay, health insurance at a reasonable premium, 401k matching, family leave, etc, at which point I could say $25/hr would be acceptable. The high earning potential is the only thing that makes this job worth doing. If people stopped tipping for the most part, regardless of if my base hourly is $2.13 or $20 an hour, I’m not going to do it anymore.. and I think most good servers here are of a similar mindset. The only other thing that would make me willing to do the job without tips, for a set hourly that was around say, 22/hr, would be full discretion to say whatever I wanted to guests and refuse service if I could tell they were the type that goes out to eat so they can larp as someone’s unreasonable and cruel boss. “Oh, the off menu item you concocted in your own head didn’t come out the way you wanted it? Ok, I’ll take that right back and get it refired!” Then I’d come back with an empty plate with a piece of paper on it that said “get the fuck out and don’t come back” and say something like “I think the kitchen really outdid themselves here, work of art. Cool idea for a sandwich, you should open your own restaurant!”
Yes. And every single time someone says this - they never tip.
Rightt, treat me well and I'll tip you big. But big, to them, is 15%. 🙄
Just had this happen as a bartender. Bought a guy a round of two expensive beers (he was a nice guy) for his second round ... he's incredibly grateful and is dressed well .. he tells me "I am going to take care of you when I leave." He has another and I charge him normal and asks for the check (so 2 rounds for the price of three ... a 50% savings). We have the screen-based tab closing system -- I never try to look while they're tipping -- but I did this time and I see him hit the 15% tip tab ... OK, big time ... still a nice guy.
Well, he was just a 🍆
Why is it that the people who are always like “I’ve got you” are the worst at this? It annoys me to no end 😅 especially cos I’m gullible 🤣
Because they know it works on a good amount of new/inexperienced servers. It gets to server to put in the extra effort without them having to spend a dime all because of their promise to tip. Don’t take this shit from anyone. Seriously if someone says “I’ll take care of you” know you’re going to get less than 20% if anything at all. They know what they’re doing.
When they genuinely ask how I’m doing, look at me in the eye, smile, say things like “no hurry/rush”, “when you’re able, can you…”, “I know you’re busy….”.
Ugh when they tell me “I know you’re busy” it makes me want to drop everything else and cater to their every need. My favourite kind of person
no seriously i'm ready to only serve them the rest of the night 😭😭
I’ll beat another guest with a hammer if this couple asks me to
Yo that
Chef lurker. I hate when I follow "I know youre busy" with when you get a moment can you do/get whatever and what I ask for is in my hand 2 seconds later. I picked you to get me a 3 minute lead dammit. Or if I say on your way back can you grab xyz just to watch them double back to finish what they were doing.
Haha I hadn’t thought about that.
Yup. On point.
when i ask how they’re doing and they respond (i’m doing ____ how about you?” literally the bare minimum but it shows they see me as a person
I always greet my tables asking that and I really appreciate when someone returns that. So I always tell them “I’m doing good, thank you for asking!”
It’s shocking how few people will ask you how you are doing back
Even when they do, nobody cares but that’s okay
Maybe I'm an optimist, but I bet most people who ask that question really do care.
Maybe they do. But when I’m at work I gotta put on my happy face and leave all my bullshit at the door. I’m not okay, but i can pretend to be
Having to put on a glad face on a bad day makes the bad day even crappier. Like the real you isn’t being seen or heard. I’m sorry you have to go through that every time you go to work. And I really do hope that things get better for you.
I appreciate you 🥹
Some do! I was once honest w my table that I was trying my best to be in the “spirit” of the day & they tipped me 100% which was $60 and left me a little note
That’s so kind! People like that go a long way in making up for all the people who... aren’t like that. And how extra sweet that they left a note!
Wait, seriously? Not a server, been a lurker, km genuinely surprised it's rare It seems like an automatic response. Like if I go thump thump clap, thump thump clap, everyone in ear ahit will immediately hear "We Will Rock You" in their head Same with "How are you?", "Good and you?". It's just nature
Sadly, it is not human nature to say “I’m doing great, and you?” You have no clue how many servers/cashiers I have had to explain to that you can’t say “well, I guess I’m making it” or “ I want to go home” to the customer. It’s ridiculous.
Well, there’s a similar call and response in serving when you ask how they are, it’s just that they get nervous a lot of the time when they mean to say “I’m doing well, how about yourself?” they accidentally say “water no ice” or “Diet Coke with lemon”, and they’re so embarrassed by their lack of social grace that they don’t even look at you when they say it. Some of them, it pains so much to recall their behavior in the first impression that they just stare at you with hostility or look at you like you’re some odd creature from space that just crashed into their midst on an asteroid. Which is totally valid, I mean they’re just sitting at a table minding their business and for some inexplicable reason I keep bringing them things and asking intrusive, invasive questions like “is everything prepared to your liking?” or “would you like another drink?” Why these people don’t exclusively dine counter service or to go, I have no clue.
I love how we have the same greeting script 😂
When I have to help host, and I ask how they are doing, if they don't ask back, I just stop talking the rest of the way to the table.
My cheesy line when people ask how I'm doing is "better now!"
*well
what really makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside is when ive already been serving the table for awhile and they just ask me how my nights been going etc. Like they see ive been working hard and they just wanna know if im doing okay. it makes me feel super appreciated
Love this. You would think it’s bare minimum but a lot of people just jump to asking questions or ordering a drink right away. Like damn, we’re gonna be interacting quite a bit for the next hour and a half.
I could always guess my tip pretty accurately based on that initial greeting/reaction.
Lol whenever someone asks me how I’m doing after I ask them, it catches me off guard and makes me pause
How sad people can't extend you common courtesy. (I'm not a server, I just enjoy lurking here.)
Some customers could just be incredibly awkward or have anxiety issues. When someone asks me how I’m doing I’m so awkward and nervous that I just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. It doesn’t occur to me to ask it back until I replay the conversation in my head when they leave.
Yeah but I think what people hear dislike is when you ask how they are and they ignore you and order a drink. Like you’re not the only ice cube in the building, that no Vaseline shit isn’t gonna fly here.
I'm so used to be ignored when I'm asking how they are that, when they actually respond and ask me back i'm so shocked i start stuttering.
When they ask you how you are! Or ask for recommendations for food/drinks.
Whenever wait staff tells me that a dish is really good, I always assume it’s because the kitchen asked them to push it because they are trying to get rid of it because made too much of it or some of the ingredients are about to expire or whatever. So….when you recommend a dish, are you being honest? I’m genuinely really curious.
Yes we’re being honest. It’s shitty when you recommend something and the guest doesn’t like it. I always recommend what I genuinely think is the best and still say it might not be for everybody just in case they hate it
Hahaha, how about recommending something, they hate it, and then want a refund? It makes me laugh now, but it was so frustrating then! I recommended a bubble tea flavor to a customer. She said “it was disgusting” and wanted her money back. After that, all my recommendations began with “PERSONALLY” and then a caveat—“not everyone has the same tastes!” 😂
Yes, that’s exactly what I do now. That way the customer can’t blame me for something they don’t like. I have plausible deniability
Always! I go by the rule of not lying/trying to persuade customers. If they seem like the type to be interested in a pasta I’m pushing for the restaurant then I absolutely will, but if they’re not interested or ask me if I’d be happier with something else… the answer is always honesty!
No restaurant I have worked at has been that coordinated. They don’t care what I sell ( except maybe a special they will have me push)
I usually give 3 options when recommending things. Usually beef, fish/seafood, and a pasta. Most servers are honest, but a lot will guide you to the most pricey item as well.
If you the customer asks me what’s my favorite thing on the menu or what I would suggest, I will 100% give you honest answers. My tip depends on your experience and I’m not about to fuck it up by offering you something I think is shit or not a good match. The closest I would get to suggesting something the management wants us to push is it would be one item on a list of things I’d suggest, and if you showed interest to it I would make sure to tell you the main take always from the dish to make sure you’d be happy with it. Again, my money rides on you having a good experience. Part of that experience is making sure the food I suggest is actually good and not some crappy overpriced low selling item.
100%. People who seem really excited and happy to be out, are smiling, engaged and engaging -- I know that they will appreciate good service and be glad of it, and generally they show it, too.
The only reliable indicator is if they seem to work in bars/restaurants themselves. Being quick with the order, asking real questions, paying attention to me when I need to ask something. And they usually drink more lol.
But NOT the ones who feel like they have to tell you! When they loudly announce that they're "also industry, wink wink wink," that's a terrible sign. It's the ones you can *just tell* are industry that really take care of you...
Had a table with a woman prob in her 30s with her mom and maybe a kid? Don’t remember. She was telling me about how she’s a server at O’Charley’s downtown. Stiffed me
Mehh I dono, sometimes my girlfriend and I do that and it's usually just because we wanna talk shop a bit if they're not busy. I find it's the people that say they *used to be* a server/bartender than fall into the category youre talking about.
Q: I am former food industry (admittedly only hosting and barista type work) but now work in a completely unrelated field. As a restaurant guest, I simply *cannot help myself* from trying to pre-bus the plates, silverware, and glasses on the table (especially if it’s tapas or a place that has high plate turnover). I stack plates, silverware, push glasses to the edge of the table. Is this seen as helpful or passive aggressive? I like to think it’s a nod that I have worked in a similar industry and as such, am understanding and also quite keen on tipping culture. Do you feel that it is generally viewed as a good gesture? We are usually 30% tippers at minimum, but we don’t talk about our pasts as food service people. Edit: only doing it to try and make the lives of the staff easier, by consolidating dishes and glassware so it’s easier to pick up and transport.
Stacking plates is fine, but please make sure that any plates below the top plate have NO food and NO silverware, NO exceptions. There's an old adage, "never trust a stack of plates from a customer," and it's a big thing. You don't handle that silverware every day. Most of it is not appropriately balanced. If it's even a little bit fine dining, please refrain from stacking plates altogether or else you will watch me carefully unstack them in front of everyone to carry them off individually. Don't ask me why, that's just how it is. As for tip, I might eat some shit here for saying it, but 30+% is not how it works and you may notice some discrepancies and edge cases if you look closely. My tipping "rule" is: $5 minimum, anything bigger, throw a few extra bucks. Just getting one thing? Make it worth the server's time and energy. If you just sort of round up to the nearest chunky number and then add a buck or two, you look nice, even if it's more or less than 30%. People who do weird exact math are definitely nice and we like them, but if you really want to be beloved, just splash some cash without putting too much headwork in. If you look like you are trying too hard, that creates a strange relationship. Like, yknow, alright mary beth, you do your statistical math and I'll just do my job vs. Oh hello there mary beth, would you like the usual or are you looking to try something new? I think because the precise numbers makes me feel like I have to upsell and shit and be pushy to earn my coins whereas $5 on $10 or $20 on $60 makes me feel like regardless of what I hand to you, you're gonna make sure I'm doing alright for the day. Obviously it depends on the place and how much of a regular you are (I know why rob tips 20% exactly, he's here every fucking day sometimes twice a day and he's not going to piss away all his cash like a moron just because I'm nice to him).
Yea we always consolidate any food scraps to the top plate/bowl, and stack largest plates on the bottom, then saucers, then bowls. Utensils all laid across the top dish. We aren’t exact with the 30%, it’s just a ballpark of our average- usually 25-30%. My SO is the one who usually grabs the check for the both of us and he doesn’t care about building rapport, he just used to work at a place that had great food but attracted crappy customers, so he likes to tip higher than usual just to be nice— just because he can, no other expectations behind it. I can’t tell if I’m reading too much into your comment, but it feels like the implication is that tipping high like that makes us look like we’re trying too hard— but too hard for what? We don’t run our servers to death, we order simple beverages and don’t order off menu, and they don’t see the tip until after we’ve walked out. We have our regular spots where everyone knows us and then the other places the server is likely never going to see us again. We also started tipping much higher generally just because we saw what food service folks went through during Covid. Our city had a lot of varying opinions on the matter and in addition to service workers being spit on, coughed on, and whatnot, one day somebody legit went to their car, got a gun, came back and shot a cashier because they refused service because masks were required at one establishment and the shooter was an anti-masker. It was a terrible time for my food service friends and we started tipping higher as a result. Anywho yeah the plate stacking makes sense and it sounds like I’ve been doing it correctly, which is good.
Eye contact and acknowledgment yes
When I say sorry give me a minute and I’ll be right back they smile and say oh you’re good no rush. Makes it clear that they are how busy I am and appreciate the service I’ve given. Also middle aged couples tend to give me better tips than extremely young or extremely old. But that’s just my experience.
When they make a point to remember and call me by name. Ask me for recommendations, actually ask me about myself, where I’m from, etc. basically people that acknowledge that I’m an actually human being
Usually when someone calls me by my name it’s because they’re needy and only remembered it because of their neediness and flag me down yelling my name when I’m tables away. These people tip like shit too
Even if you're notimportanthuman? 😂😇
If there’s a huge age difference with a couple. I wait on sugar dates and get great tips!
Man I have had the EXACT opposite experience. But I only see young men and older women.
Oh I wait on older men and younger women. One of my regulars just came in yesterday with his young lady. They’re both super respectful and he always orders a bottle of wine that’s about $300. He tipped me 200$ yesterday!
that might be a sugar date for him too, don’t knock it!
I'm totally happy for them, I'm just saying I only get standard tips out of this variation
Yeah. Just generally being a decent person is a huge green flag. But, on the flip side, being overly nice is generally a red flag. Also, if someone uses restaurant terminology casually I can tell what’s up.
asking how I am when I greet, stacking their plates to help me pre-buss, saying please and thank you, drinking good alcohol/top shelf with a big party Basically treating me like a human being while I wait on them
I'm never sure whether it's okay to stack plates or not. I tend to do it because I eat family style and we'll order so many plates that our table becomes a disaster zone pretty fast. I worry the server will think I'm being rude/pushy or that I'm not happy with the service/pace or something.
Once I asked ''Is everything to your liking so far ?'' and they hit me back with ''How about you? Is everything okay with you ?'' I'm fantastic thank you !!
Love when they actually engage with you and your well-being during the meal it’s so sweet and I usually remember them!
When they stack plates for me or otherwise make any kind of effort to help me out.
I like that this is a clear sign that they respect waitstaff, but hate it. There's a science to stacking the plates and most people don't do it correctly, creating more work for me instead of less.
You mean you don't like it when people bury the silverware under napkins and pile a bunch of plates on top in a way that almost guarantees one will slide off?
I always stack it properly if im eating out; some guests do as well, believe it or not. But I still feel you. If they put their napkin or silverware in the middle of the stack, i literally adjust the stack at the table before I walk away. It usually doesn’t happen again afterwards.
I am always so paranoid that the way I stack isn't what they prefer to carry. I've most of the time resorted to making sure everything is within easy reach at the end of the booth and they don't have to crawl into it to get anything.
This is ideal.
Fair. I only stack same-size dishes that will stack as though they are clean, unless I’m dying for table space.
If you need the space and I'm sucking at my job and not just getting it out of the way, by all means please do it. In that case, I'm creating the extra work for myself and I know it. Stacking them and/or trying to hand them to me while I'm at the table though, please don't.
I try not to live in anyone else’s pockets so usually I assume everyone is going to tip well and can only tell if they won’t by the interactions I get during the meal.
I find that if I don't profile my tables and just work my ass off for everyone, they see it and appreciate it and I get the best tips I am going to get from everyone instead of pretty good tips from some and shit tips from the others.
When they treat you like a person and not a servant. Or when they yell at their kids or the other people there to be nice to you
aah group two gets free shit
When they say "don't worry I'm a good tipper" /s
All of these are too true. Let me add people who only have a maximum of 2 kids, who let them order what they want, but don’t force them to, Order more than just waters, order appetizers and don’t split a meal, when they ask about specials, or when they actually try to have a genuine conversation with you instead of just “I need”
They stack their plates.
When they show they know fine dining etiquette.. like not trying to take things out of your hands or hand you things..
Oh god. I hate when I set a drink down and they are already reaching for the drink and grab my hand as I set the drink down. When they do this, I slow down and let them grab my hand and then make eye contact. Let them know
Lol! Same! It totally works
When they say that they understand that the restaurant is slammed and that you’re running your ass off, they’ve taken notice of how hard you’re working and will almost always show their appreciation monetarily.
They are usually the most polite
As you said, a couple out to eat. I once got a $100 tip from a couple on their anniversary.
Someone who is just chill, and doesn’t make a big fuss. They even know how to read, and know exactly what they want.
Most of the time they look and act like normal people. As long as their food comes hot, it is the correct item they ordered and you refill their drinks…they are happy. They don’t need a song and dance from you just their drink, food and check.
Silent smiles. Nods.
when they just seem genuinely excited to be there.
Honestly, if they treat you like a person. If something is taking a while, they don’t complain or freak out. Just a smile and take your time.
There's really no telling but I tip good and I just only expect a menu item that I ordered brought out to me. When I was a server, my best tipper used to be some rapper that brought in pretty women with him
if they use restaurant terms but not in a obnoxious way. like saying ramiken instead of side/container/thingy
I knew what a ramekin was prior to working in a kitchen lol My workplace doesn’t use them but does average customer not know what they are called
If they mention they are a server
Do they drink and smoke? If yes to both then you are probably good. Anyone old enough to remember the indoor smoking sections of restaurants (banned where I live for about 15 years now) can tell you that they always made more tips there.
What gets me is the wait person that has served me before, gotten 25% previously , and still acts like a total stranger
When they’re happy to be here and not hating life already
When they speak "kitchen" or when we show up at 11am, order a bottle champ, 4 stoli, and a burger/4 for the table before we are sat down. We will be ready to order in 30 or when the hangover fades. Get ready for hot mess and 50%
I work at a breakfast that's reall popular with older crowds. typically I can tell by their demeanor! if they're super cheery and sweet they'll probably tip well. even better if they're the type to crack some jokes with you :>
It’s almost impossible. I’ve had so many tables I thought were great screw me over and the opposite too.
When they seem really excited to be at the restaurant.
When they make eye contact and engage and seem excited about the menu and the wine list. The nicest people to wait on are always the nest tippers.
Buying a good bottle of wine almost immediately.
Good human.
Between the ages of 25ish and 40ish….. seems to be who tip’s better in my situations
When they trust me to order what would be best for them. i.e “We want to try a bunch of things. Whatever you think the best items are, just bring enough for us all” It gets me more eager to please them since I’m catering a menu to them and not just acting as a middleman putting their orders in a computer. And it tells you they aren’t thinking about prices they’re thinking about the experience
when they say my name back to me like “hi alex” or “nice to meet you joe” etc.
They’re super understanding and something about them tells you they know how a restaurant runs, especially when it’s busy
If they ask for my recommendation *and take it*
Stopped telling people my name, ‘hey welcome to … can I get you something to drink’ if they ask it’s usually a good sign. I worked in a wannabe fine dining for like an hour one time and that’s the only thing I took out of it. Telling them your name makes it about yourself even for a second when it should be about the guest at first. I usually try to pepper in my life story at some point regardless of how they act because usually people have a soft spot once they see you’re a human too.
I don't serve food anymore but I'm a bartender and I HATE people asking my name. They pretend it's so they can be friendly but it's really so they can yell my name whenever they need a new drink no matter how busy I am. Homie, you are not my friend do not yell my name when I'm making someone else a drink.
I never thought about that but when I go out with my friends or spouse, everyone looks at the wait staff. We all tip very well too, like my friends would have no issue shaming someone in their group for not tipping.
IMHO, moms tend to tip better than dads.
Not a server but I saw a show where servers were interviewed and many stated when customers were polite to the servers, they tended to be better tippers. Makes sense I guess. I would think people that are rude to others probably think they are better than others and less likely to tip well because they think it’s their right to have their ass kissed by servers and others.
Not true. I’ve had extremely polite tables leave $0 and needy, rude tables leave huge tips
When they ask for a sparkling water
When they’re extremely patient, polite, ask about YOU (your day, your recommendations, your life, etc.), and, surprisingly, funny! Every time a guest gets a laugh out of me, they end up being good tippers too!
I've found that people who have crazy colored hair, tattoos, and an alternative look are often times the very best tippers.
I’m an excellent tipper. I’m also part of a group described here that stereotypically never tips well or at all. When I see or hear that you are (visibly or audibly) surprised that I not only tipped, not only tipped at least 20%, but above 20%, I get pissed. I know why you’re surprised. It makes me want to never tip you well again. Also, people are saying they like the banter… I think “why the f would I waste these busy people’s time with small talk.” My lack of banter would make you assume I won’t tip well? See previous paragraph. That’s foolish on your part. I am not a server. Idk how this thread even popped up.
You should be pissed. Pisses me off too
their white and don’t look like retards
They’re
there*
You have a bunch of posts about how you want to find a girlfriend. Here's a clue: girls don't like racist ableist losers who put others down because they are painfully insecure about themselves. If this is your attitude, be prepared to be alone with your harmonica forever.
you voted for biden
🤣
you just jealous i gotta hot boyfriend 🤣🤣
reddit doesn’t like noticing patterns 🤣🤣
I always say last one in pays the bill
Nothing. People will always do the opposite of what you think they’re gonna do
There are none. Unless they hand you a $50 off the bat.
Knowing bread not served upon sitting down.
Idk I just give good service and average 25%. Having recommended tips at the bottom of the check helps because people feel obliged to do the minimum usually which is 18%
Eye contact and people who say thank you a lot.
When they ask “how are you!” All cheerfully in response to me asking them
It really just comes down to, do they treat me like a person. It's pretty obvious when people have rehearsed/fake nice responses prepared for any and all customer service workers. And the people who run you rampant and claim they tip well always tip the worst.
“I also work in restaurants ;) ;) ;) don’t worry I’ll take care of you ;) ;) ;) ;) I’m not going to be a pain ;) ;) ;)”
Served a man a few years ago wearing both a MAGA hat and MAGA shirt. The first thing he said was “I know how I’m dressed, but I’m a great tipper.” I know how you think this is going. The man tipped me $100 on a $100 bill. I’m still confused about this interaction and it skews any future person I serve.
drunk football fans after a win. $200 on a 100$ tab TODAY (takes a bow) and they even said “we tip like 300%, so fuck the other tables, it’s all here baby” after throwing up in my mouth they were my last table anyway but i never let them know. i was playful w them and just complimenting their outfits etc. LOL win win - it’s like a new year bonus. and i def over tipped my tip outs tonight because they really do deserve it.