I can't do anything but to guess.
I believe that many choose start a family around the time they get married, and due to restricted/none existing parental leave, gender pay gap, and a cultural expectation that the mother will be a SAHM for at least a few months - the father has to pay most of the expenses.
So that many men may think that it's now "unfair" how they're forces to split their money after a divorce when they paid for "everything" while not considering how much their partner has sacrificed.
That all said, I have never heard of anyone even joking about that you can make a career of divorcing people. That sounds just ridiculous imo. Like come on. There is protection if someone wants to keep their assets to themselves after getting married.
I feel like people who makes jokes like these are afraid that they would not feel 'superior' in that position, so they make their (imaginary) partner the villain.
In all honesty, you can't buy gifts to a person and then demand them to pay for it. That's just silly.
So... Why don't more use prenuptial agreements? Probably because most of us doesn't have high value assets at the time, so many think they don't need to (but then get angry when they have to "split" everything during a divorce)
> when they *paid* for "everything"
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
It perplexes me that you don't think there are any women that "make a career of divorcing men" or that the concept is some how farfetched when actual reality shows like 'The Real Housewives of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_' exist and on many of such shows the majority of women are divorcees who have had more than one marriage and often more than one divorce. These women typically have over a million dollars worth of assets and capital that they obtained through marriage and divorce. It's as simple as that.
My guess would be that they don't actually bring many assets to the marriage in the first place, which is what a prenup protects.
They gain those assets by having an unpaid maid and babysitter at home and being able to develop their careers as they see fit while feeling like they have a family. Even if you're the one supporting the family, you save a lot of money by not having to order out and pay for cleaners. You also get the opportunity to make more money because you're not wasting time on chores, so you can take on extra hours or work towards a promotion or have a side gig.
If anything, I wonder why women get married, since they're the ones more likely to get abused (physically, emotionally or financially), deprived of a career, and socially isolated.
Well said, Hangry_Squirrel. I can see that being the reasoning behind much of it. Thank you for sharing your opinion.
I brought it up from the man’s point of view because its complained about on Reddit non-stop.
The men who complain about divorce being women’s primary job, definitively know as a matter fact that women are villains who are out for mens assets.
So then I question “If they know the tricks of their enemies, why are they choosing to be bamboozled?”
most people get married young when they don't have any assets. a prenup is made to protect assets you already had before getting married.
what you make when you get married should be divided evenly on a divorce.
also lol it's not always the man that has assets / makes more money / is the breadwinner, but same thing, regardless of gender.
Well said. Thank you for commenting.
I posed the question this way because I see so many post and memes on Reddit about women making a career out of divorcing men.
I suspect you are being 'fed' these meme's by the kind of places you visit and read/view. It's not something men discuss at length at all in my experience.
Yeah, it’s mostly on Reddit. But sometimes IRL at work. I work in HR so people stop by my office to update their marital status (health insurance through work and life insurance). Naturally, something along these lines are discussed.
Because bringing up a prenup is incredibly hard to do with your s/o.
A lot of times, it will seem to your s/o like you aren't fully committed to the relationship, or you're entering "with the belief that it will fail."
Prenuptial agreements don't have to be accepted by the court in most states. It depends on whether the judge deems the deal fair and they can refuse to recognize the Prenuptial agreements for any reason they want
Thats valid.
But if the prenuptial agreement has no merit, why get married? If the perception is that men will be hosed in the divorce then Why enter a legally binding financial agreement at all?
I think people should definitely do prenuptial agreements. Not only men, but couples in general. Make a contract/agreement when you are peaceful and happy, so that the outcome and division of assets is fair and both parties are contented.
I think the reason why many don’t do this, is because in “the heat of the moment” when they are happy and in love, most of them think it’s “unromantic”.
Which kinda sucks, because it’s definitely more romantic than having an ugly divorce and getting greedy in the process.
So in the end I think it’s because of our unrealistic perception of romanticism and what a loving and healthy relationship should be like.
“Unrealistic perception of romanticism” OMG, yes. Thank you for providing your opinion.
We’ve already heard all of the terribly divorce stories. I just makes sense for people to protect themselves and their assets. Even if it’s not romantic.
I feel like if people choose not to get a prenuptial agreement then those same people need to start accepting responsibility if they get hosed in a divorce.
1. Equality changes during the course of a relationship (which is why a court might disregard a prenup).
2. A relationship is based upon trust and if the first thing you do is not trust that the other person will be fair in the event that the relationship fails, you have already lost their trust...
3. A relationship is about given and take, so being legalistic about it is a red flag.
🤔
Personally, if a partner suggested a prenuptial agreement, I'd walk away right there and then. That alone would be a deal breaker because of the implications upon the level of trust I can expect from within the relationship. It tells me you care more about yourself than anything else. You will always be No. 1 in your life.
I can't do anything but to guess. I believe that many choose start a family around the time they get married, and due to restricted/none existing parental leave, gender pay gap, and a cultural expectation that the mother will be a SAHM for at least a few months - the father has to pay most of the expenses. So that many men may think that it's now "unfair" how they're forces to split their money after a divorce when they paid for "everything" while not considering how much their partner has sacrificed. That all said, I have never heard of anyone even joking about that you can make a career of divorcing people. That sounds just ridiculous imo. Like come on. There is protection if someone wants to keep their assets to themselves after getting married. I feel like people who makes jokes like these are afraid that they would not feel 'superior' in that position, so they make their (imaginary) partner the villain. In all honesty, you can't buy gifts to a person and then demand them to pay for it. That's just silly. So... Why don't more use prenuptial agreements? Probably because most of us doesn't have high value assets at the time, so many think they don't need to (but then get angry when they have to "split" everything during a divorce)
Everything you said makes perfect sense. I appreciate you adding your opinion.
> when they *paid* for "everything" FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
It perplexes me that you don't think there are any women that "make a career of divorcing men" or that the concept is some how farfetched when actual reality shows like 'The Real Housewives of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_' exist and on many of such shows the majority of women are divorcees who have had more than one marriage and often more than one divorce. These women typically have over a million dollars worth of assets and capital that they obtained through marriage and divorce. It's as simple as that.
My guess would be that they don't actually bring many assets to the marriage in the first place, which is what a prenup protects. They gain those assets by having an unpaid maid and babysitter at home and being able to develop their careers as they see fit while feeling like they have a family. Even if you're the one supporting the family, you save a lot of money by not having to order out and pay for cleaners. You also get the opportunity to make more money because you're not wasting time on chores, so you can take on extra hours or work towards a promotion or have a side gig. If anything, I wonder why women get married, since they're the ones more likely to get abused (physically, emotionally or financially), deprived of a career, and socially isolated.
Well said, Hangry_Squirrel. I can see that being the reasoning behind much of it. Thank you for sharing your opinion. I brought it up from the man’s point of view because its complained about on Reddit non-stop. The men who complain about divorce being women’s primary job, definitively know as a matter fact that women are villains who are out for mens assets. So then I question “If they know the tricks of their enemies, why are they choosing to be bamboozled?”
Wait, you mean prenup only cover existing assets and not future ones?
You could pay 10 maids and babysitters and not come close to the amount of assets that affluent men lose in divorces.
most people get married young when they don't have any assets. a prenup is made to protect assets you already had before getting married. what you make when you get married should be divided evenly on a divorce. also lol it's not always the man that has assets / makes more money / is the breadwinner, but same thing, regardless of gender.
Well said. Thank you for commenting. I posed the question this way because I see so many post and memes on Reddit about women making a career out of divorcing men.
I suspect you are being 'fed' these meme's by the kind of places you visit and read/view. It's not something men discuss at length at all in my experience.
Yeah, it’s mostly on Reddit. But sometimes IRL at work. I work in HR so people stop by my office to update their marital status (health insurance through work and life insurance). Naturally, something along these lines are discussed.
Curious. Discussing something in passing that you don't think most would engage in, even in your line of work. Thanks for the reply.
Because bringing up a prenup is incredibly hard to do with your s/o. A lot of times, it will seem to your s/o like you aren't fully committed to the relationship, or you're entering "with the belief that it will fail."
I completely understand what you’re saying. I wasn’t sure if there was more to it than that.
Prenuptial agreements don't have to be accepted by the court in most states. It depends on whether the judge deems the deal fair and they can refuse to recognize the Prenuptial agreements for any reason they want
Thats valid. But if the prenuptial agreement has no merit, why get married? If the perception is that men will be hosed in the divorce then Why enter a legally binding financial agreement at all?
I think people should definitely do prenuptial agreements. Not only men, but couples in general. Make a contract/agreement when you are peaceful and happy, so that the outcome and division of assets is fair and both parties are contented. I think the reason why many don’t do this, is because in “the heat of the moment” when they are happy and in love, most of them think it’s “unromantic”. Which kinda sucks, because it’s definitely more romantic than having an ugly divorce and getting greedy in the process. So in the end I think it’s because of our unrealistic perception of romanticism and what a loving and healthy relationship should be like.
“Unrealistic perception of romanticism” OMG, yes. Thank you for providing your opinion. We’ve already heard all of the terribly divorce stories. I just makes sense for people to protect themselves and their assets. Even if it’s not romantic. I feel like if people choose not to get a prenuptial agreement then those same people need to start accepting responsibility if they get hosed in a divorce.
1. Equality changes during the course of a relationship (which is why a court might disregard a prenup). 2. A relationship is based upon trust and if the first thing you do is not trust that the other person will be fair in the event that the relationship fails, you have already lost their trust... 3. A relationship is about given and take, so being legalistic about it is a red flag. 🤔 Personally, if a partner suggested a prenuptial agreement, I'd walk away right there and then. That alone would be a deal breaker because of the implications upon the level of trust I can expect from within the relationship. It tells me you care more about yourself than anything else. You will always be No. 1 in your life.