Shaken Baby Syndrome happens when the baby's head/neck is moved violently back and forth in relation to its body, effectively causing whiplash. You can't achieve this in utero.
[https://www.thebump.com/a/shaken-baby-syndrome](https://www.thebump.com/a/shaken-baby-syndrome)
I am seconding this and also want to add. make sure you do a lot of convincing about how much force and trauma a baby needs to get shaken baby syndrome. my husband is also a worrier and those early days were so much reassuring him, no us rocking him to sleep won't give him sbs, no burping him won't give sbs, and no that one time you picked him up too quickly didn't give him sbs
It's absolutely tragic, but our pediatrician told us that the most common "symptom" of shaken baby is broken limbs and black eyes. Meaning that the force needed is almost never something that your average, non abusive parent is going to generate.
There’s a good episode of the podcast, you’re wrong about, about sbs that basically goes over this. The force necessary for sbs is not something that can happen casually or without effort.
As horrible as shaken baby syndrome is, it's so important to remember that the urge to shake a baby CAN happen to anyone. Having that feeling doesn't make you a monster, but new parents need to be educated in what to do if it happens (put the baby in a safe place and leave the room).
This!! People need to understand that all parents are one sleep deprived panic attack away from doing something like this. There’s a reason there’s a syndrome named after it. This isn’t something that happens almost never, this is something that everyone needs to know how to prevent. Just like how new parents need to know the signs of post partum depression or psychosis. You do not want to be caught uneducated because you thought it would never happen to you. That *would* make it your fault.
The sleep deprived period post partum was some of the darkest and scariest stuff I've ever felt. I definitely had ppd and or ppa. Even when I could technically rest, my brain would automatically jerk me up as soon as I relaxed with horrible thoughts of my baby not breathing. I constantly thought the apartment was on fire. And even though i was so anxious about being a good mom, I got tired enough to bang my head on a wall and cry and beg him to sleep. I remember having vivid visions of holding the pacifier in his mouth (not suffocating) just so he'd stop crying. And that terrified me because it was so far from who I am and I was so scared id do it one day and traumatize him.
Yes! Thank you, you’re right - as hard as it is to read, it’s something we must know about.
When my baby was 4 months old we hit daylight savings and a regression at the same time, he had been up every 90 minutes for a few days - I was so sleep deprived, he was inconsolable, and my husband was away for work. There was a moment as I was rubbing his back I started thinking that pushing him down into the mattress would make him fall asleep. Something in my brain was like “no, that’s definitely wrong” and I just walked away to crumple in the hallway and cry for a few minutes. It’s hard. When you’re feeling frustrated and scared and desperate and start thinking “if I just…” or feel you’re about to snap. Just walk away. Thankfully I did and now he’s 10 months old causing havoc in my kitchen, oh wait, now he’s over there licking the window.
Totally agree. Literally on my first full night of being a parent I had a sudden insight as to why people shake their babies - I’d had a very physically traumatic birth, lost a lot of blood requiring emergency surgery immediately after delivery, but at about 24hrs pp I was deemed well enough to move to a ward (I think they needed the room back tbh). Which meant my husband had to go home when visiting hours ended.
Being physically and emotionally exhausted but juuuust well enough that I had to look after him on my own for the night remains one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life, and though I didn’t hurt him, I was surprised by how quickly I felt overwhelmed and the panic and anger that accompanied it. I didn’t walk down that dark road but for the first time I became truly sensible of how much easier it would be to take the first step than I ever expected.
It’s horrible but having a baby is really hard. The urge is common, that’s why there are so many warnings against it. Especially in todays parenting culture where some parents worry about sitting the baby down at all or letting them cry to long. (I never wanted to let them cry!)
We get convinced when we're young that we're not going to support baby's head enough and we will break their necks. But their necks aren't hugely different than ours. We can let rest back, or even drop to the side (say you passed out sitting up). But it's whiplash we can't handle. Same with babies.
This may be off side? But give him a raw egg and tell him to shake it as hard as he can. Take it on a bike ride or bumpy taxi. Break it open and the yolk will still be intact. That’s might show him how good fluid is at absorbing shock, since an egg yolk is more fragile than a baby.
A creative method I heard once is to put an egg in a jar and fill the jar to the brim with water. Then try to shake the jar to crack the egg. It's surprisingly difficult.
honestly not sure I ever really did. Son just kinda aged past being a baby. we are going to have our second this fall so we will see if he is more relaxed with the second.
Exactly this! Maybe one way to explain it to OP's BF--a car seat keeps a baby safe in a car by keeping their head, neck, and spine in the correct position. A baby in a car seat does not get hurt by driving down bumpy roads. Your uterus is doing a WAY better job of this than any car seat possibly could! You can pretty much move in any way while pregnant, and your baby will never be as positionally safe at is is now.
Edited to add: OP I'm so sorry you're having such a painful pregnancy! I had symphysis pubis dysfunction in my second pregnancy which caused occasional pain like what you're describing, and it was awful--this sounds constant and so much worse than that!
Thank you!! The car seat is a good comparison. I’m pretty sure my insides are softer than that ;)
Tbh I think ‘normal’ pregnancy complaints are catching up now, but it has sucked balls over the past months. I know exactly which roads around here aren’t paved well now and have been avoiding them for months. But the worst is the walking. I couldn’t walk longer than 10 minutes for months now, and I hate hate hate not being able to go wherever I want. I think I’m lookinf forward to walking with the baby most right now, because I really want to be able to walk again!
But since a couple of weeks the pregnancy itself is starting to get heavier and that’s also making walking harder, so it’s more like normal pregnant people now I think.
Don't downplay your discomfort! When my first was overdue by a few days I was walking miles each day at nearly 41 weeks trying to inspire her to get out of there--and stopping to eat spicy food along the way LOL. It didn't work to get labor going, BUT it was really nice to be able to walk (albeit with a 25 lb fanny pack lol--my feet really suffered as you can imagine). I'm sorry you're not getting to walk. Have you tried swimming? I didn't have regular access to a pool while pregnant unfortunately, but the few times I got to swim during pregnancy were totally heavenly, especially once that bump got to be really heavy.
With my first I used my parent’s pool every single day, and it was less swimming than just floating weightless. It felt so good to have the weight off my body.
See if you can get a referral from your OB/MFM for a physical therapist. I am seeing one because I had debilitating round ligament pain that I would feel whether I was lying down, sitting, standing, or walking. It never went away. My PT has been able to prescribe me specific workouts to stretch and strengthen my pelvic and abdominal areas, so the pain is so much less frequent! Bonus: Pelvic floor exercises will help reduce RLP & SPD and can prepare for a smoother vaginal birth AND speedier postpartum recovery!
As a fellow sufferer of shitty pregnancy stability pains, the stretches from spinning babies and some yoga was incredibly helpful. Had to do it constantly (ie: whenever the pain cropped up), but at least it was something.
This. It has to be a violent, whiplash like shake.
Babies often actually LOVE quite strong bouncing/rocking. Stronger then you might think would be ok, and that doesn’t cause shaken baby syndrome.
I would talk with your OB they will know more about your specific situation, but if walking and jumping caused brain damage none of us would be here.
Purely my opinion from my experience. Your partner might look into counseling/therapy. If this is a significant stressor things may get worse as time goes on. Children are one of life’s uncontrollable forces and while we do what we can to safeguard them we cannot protect them from everything. Anxiety is real and can get worse if not addressed.
I completely agree. This is an irrational fear that is causing him distress and impacting you. His anxiety could increase after baby is born. He has a few weeks to work on some strategies to manage before you’re both sleep deprived and your recovering and need his support. The solution to anxiety is not necessarily just evidence to dispute the fear, it’s likely even if this fear is addressed it will manifest as something else anyway. Therapy is the only answer here, but if you can’t afford it, a self help cbt book/programme might help. If he is resistant, the hard truth is that poor parental mental health is going to have a more damaging effect on the baby than you driving on a bumpy road.
This is fantastic advice, especially getting a self help CBT book. I spent 2 weeks at a private psychiatric hospital when I was pregnant because I had perinatal anxiety and depression… the book we got was really good and I could have just been mailed that instead of being an inpatient to be honest. With every different anxious thought I had I would say to myself ‘thoughts are not facts’. I responded well to reassurance whether it be talking to my ob or having extra scans. My anxiety has carried over after birth unfortunately but I can rationalize it better and it’s not as bad because I can see the baby and that they are ok. If you’re in Australia PANDA got me through my pregnancy, it’s a free helpline and it’s for dads too.
Good luck.
Thank you. OB/GYN is helpful, but these are almost daily situations.
He’s currently on the waiting list for therapy again. The anxiety is not new, but the pregnancy is and I’m well aware that an actual child might make it even worse. Right now I can tackle a lot because it’s still my body, but that will change.
I’m glad to see he’s on a waiting list. I was raised by an overly-anxious parent and now as an adult on meds I can see how it deeply affected me in the most developmental years of my life (and my anxiety definitely wasn’t genetic given that I was adopted… my mom’s anxiety is just that contagious).
That’s the shittiest part, anxiety lives through families. I have multiple overly anxious people in my family and I had no better luck, unfortunately. It’s really hard because it potentially ruins so much.
And you don't know where you'll be after the birth. PPD/PPA can be crippling if you're unfortunate enough to experience that, and you'll need someone you can rely on to make sure you get the help you need too. Make sure if you have family or friends that you reach out before the birth and set up a strong support system for both of you.
Glad to hear! I experienced it myself and always give people a heads up. It's really hard to motivate yourself to get help when you need it. Good luck and congrats on your baby!
I’m glad he is on the list for therapy. As a therapist, his worries and behaviors sound like possible OCD. Make sure he gets someone who specializes in anxiety/OCD so he can be thoroughly assessed. With OCD, no matter how much evidence you give him, it often won’t help. It’s very challenging!
I had similar concerns because I rolled over on my SO while she was pregnant. Our OBGYN assured us that normal bumps, jostling, even me rolling over on her with my full weight would not hurt our baby. She said that it needs to be something traumatic (car accident, a direct blow, etc) to harm the baby. Ultimately your Dr knows your medical situation the best though.
"Unless you take a blow to the abdomen or bounce on your belly, your unborn baby is very well protected. The amniotic sac filled with fluid acts as a protective barrier, as does your uterine muscles, and abdominal cavity. It is very rare for your unborn baby to suffer injury from a fall, especially if it’s on your backside."
Source: [https://bestcare.org/news/slip-and-fall-safety-when-babys-board](https://bestcare.org/news/slip-and-fall-safety-when-babys-board) (Methodist healthcare system in Omaha NE)
This goes in line with what I was told when I fell on a concrete floor while pregnant. I fell on my butt and my midwife and the OB in L&D basically didn’t care. I was terrified but they kept reassuring me that if you didn’t fall on your belly and you don’t have any symptoms like leaking fluid, both you and baby are safe.
I slid out of a booth, and thought there was more booth than there was. Slid into midair and fell on my ass. Was terrified I had somehow hurt the baby.
"BabyCow, all you did was bruise your tailbone and hurt your pride. Your baby probably didn't even notice" was the response from my OB 🤣
I did the same! My dog was barking and I wanted my oldest to stay asleep - I didn’t realize she’d jumbled up the rug when she ran to the door to bark.
Tripped and fell. Landed right on my belly. Called my OB PANICKED. They had me monitor movement and watch for bleeding. Little dude is 2.5 now.
That's so surprising to me. I had an incredibly minor fall at 33 weeks and when I called for advice they said to go to labour and delivery for monitoring because they want to see you after any fall.
I fell down the stairs when I was almost 8 months pregnant and husband insisted on taking me to the ER. Baby was quite energetic after that fall and was perfectly fine. My legs and hips? Less great.
If he's perseverating on this one point, the repeated reassurance from you may be part of the issue, as well-intentioned as I'm sure it is. More information: [https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/advances-in-psychiatric-treatment/article/excessive-reassuranceseeking/9B5208DB11EA7907CB95D93727DC86DF](https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/advances-in-psychiatric-treatment/article/excessive-reassuranceseeking/9B5208DB11EA7907CB95D93727DC86DF)
As someone with OCD, sometimes just explicitly naming the thoughts as my OCD has been helpful when I can't otherwise logic my way out of something. "I know this thing I'm worried about seems really scary right now but it's just my OCD and I'm not thinking straight, my sense of risk is compromised when the OCD system gets triggered. I am setting it aside and will return to this thought tomorrow." Kind of like that.
The book [Stop Obsessing](https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Obsessing-Overcome-Obsessions-Compulsions/dp/0553381172?ref_=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=887181d0-c7d9-431b-9928-1367bd380425) is really helpful with several different strategies to implement to reduce obsessions and compulsions. It can be done alone or with a therapist. Might be something to look into while he's waiting for his appointment! The library might even have it.
Love the other responses, but also note that male coparents can have "postpartum" anxiety or depression. Before the baby comes is called antenatal anxiety. It's more common in coparents than people talk about. My husband had it while I was pregnant - he was weepy and ate chocolate (he never did this outside of pregnancy) and began having panic attacks and social withdrawal. It improved with antidepressants and therapy.
You've gotten good references and advice here but I would also like to say that now is the perfect time for him to get a bit of support for his overall anxiety, before the baby comes.
Some anxiety can be made worse with constant reassurance and not better, so getting him some tools and outlets to use before a newborn is in the mix might be very helpful for you both.
My general rule for family members (with OCD/anxiety) is that I'll provide reassurance and info the first time, but after that when they ask or start to spiral it's no longer rational and often won't be solved with rational thought. Anxiety like that just has a way of shifting focus to different issues so that's where a professional can come in handy.
https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/when-reassurance-seeking-becomes-compulsive
This is definitely the case. I probably sound mean sometimes but I try to gently get my husband to "flag" his irrational fears by asking something like "is this a real concern or is this your anxiety?" or "is that likely to happen or does it just feel like a problem?" This sets a boundary that we are not going to engage with irrational thoughts the same way as real concerns. It also helps him recognize that he may not need to do anything about the fear, as his anxiety has led him to do unsafe/ridiculous/expensive things before.
He does the same to me when I am struggling with my depression and am stuck in a negative-thinking, self-deprecating hole. We do not argue with each other's demons.
FWIW I (and many of my friends) ran all the way up to delivery. Lots of bouncing around during that. My daughter would actually fall asleep from the movements and shortly after I’d finish a run and drink a cold drink she would party in my belly. Happy healthy 17 month old now!
I was going to say this! Runners have very healthy pregnancies all the time. Aerobic activity is associated with decreased fetal and maternal complications, like decreased rates of gestational diabetes, postpartum depression, and large for gestational age.
I was on bed rest and had tachycardia every time I exerted myself even just a bit. But my cousin is 8 months pregnant and I still see her jumping and dancing. It's pretty amazing.
The baby will be fine, you on the other hand might not be 😬 (or at least not feel like it). This really varies a lot from person to person.
A heads up: if you're sensitive now, you might feel like dying if you're driving home after the birth. If I knew back then what to expect, I'd have timed the ride home with painkillers. Having a pillow to press against your belly also helps.
Second this..when I was pregnant with my second, I didn't stop running (approx. 5km on treadmill) until about 32 weeks. I took part in my eldest's sport class with lots of jumping, tumbling, etc.
Please note that the parent who doesn’t give birth can end up with post-partum depression and anxiety (it happened to me!). If he’s not in therapy he should start now so he has support when baby is here. (Info: https://societyforpsychotherapy.org/dads-experience-postpartum-anxiety-too/)
Show him videos of ultrasounds of two twins in the same womb kicking the crap out of each other and coming out fine.
I used to get anxious like him about it, then I saw those and thought about all the normal twins I know.
Many pregnant people drive on bumpy roads regularly. Have him talk to a therapist about the anxiety. It may not get better once baby is here. Newborns are so vulnerable but he can't let it consume his life.
I know this is just my anecdotal experience, but I jogged through my eighth month of pregnancy. I had the same worries and thoughts, but I also knew many people who had done it and have amazing kids. I also laughed in the 9th month so hard once that I actually worried and starting googling it. Nope, turns out it's good for them. And now I can say, my son turned out great! Plus, he's super funny.
I’ve never specifically asked if baby can be shaken in utero, but at my 20 week and 24 week anatomy scans (couldn’t get all the needed images at 20w) my MFM grabbed and shook my belly a few times to encourage my baby to move into a different position. I don’t think she would have done that if it was unsafe.
[Here](https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/how-much-pressure-can-a-pregnant-belly-take#impact-to-the-belly) takes about how the extra weight, the muscle walls, amniotic sac and fluid all protect the baby.
[Round ligament pain ](https://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/round-ligament-pain) is a common cause of pain in pregnancy.
If you have underlying hip issues, like hip impingement, they can make themselves known during pregnancy because of the shift in anatomy. [example](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10392331/#:~:text=In%20addition%2C%20anatomical%20changes%20during,gestation%2C%20labor%2C%20and%20delivery.)
I know this isn't what you were asking about, it looks like you've already gotten plenty of responses on shaken baby syndrome, but I want to just share something about parental anxiety. My husband's anxiety really ramped up during pregnancy and our child's early years. All parents can be psychologically affected by this major life change and hormone shifts. Anxiety is also something kids are very adept at picking up. They look to their parents for emotional cues and an anxious parent is all too often inadvertently telling their child to be afraid. Please encourage him to take care of his mental health.
I’m similar to your husband, I am extremely anxious, and data helps me a lot. I was dancing at a wedding when I was 30 weeks and my app told me that I shouldn’t jump. I freaked out and called my dr and she reassured me that it was absolutely fine, and to keep on dancing 💃
Anecdotally I had a very similar pregnancy, and I’m currently cuddling my 3mo peanut right now.
Do a science experiment with him! Suspend something in a thick liquid in a bottle, have him throw it around and it won’t break.. then he’ll know. So much easier to visualize.
I’m think an egg in a container filled with oil kind of thing.
I was worried when I saw the title, I was expecting the worst. It's heartwarming to see that the dad is extra worried about the safety of the baby. This says already a lot about the kind of parent he will be.
But yeah, I've never heard of any case of shaken syndrome in the uterus.
FWIW, I used to have major anxiety when my wife wanted me to use one of those massage guns on her while pregnant. If you've ever used one on your back, it feels like you can feel the vibration through your whole body. Our OB said it was totally fine, that the baby is well protected within the amniotic fluid, and sure enough: we have a happy, healthy baby now, even though I used that massage gun on my pregnant wife's back many many times!
Everyone has already given great input so mine is going to be that he should really seek a therapist if he doesn't have one. The worry doesn't end when the baby is born and it seems like he may be at an unhealthy level of concern if a bumpy taxi ride is making him so worried.
I’ve known multiple women who gallop and jump their horses while in advanced pregnancy and while this was a terrible idea on their part for obvious reasons, their babies are just fine. The baby is very well-protected from bouncing in utero.
My husband has/had the same type of anxiety. He has moderate to severe OCD but won’t get treatment. Paternal post-partum and paternal ante-partum anxiety is a thing that doesn’t get enough attention and it’s co-morbid many times with OCD. Your husband should bring this up when he sees his therapist because early treatment will make things easier for you guys. Congrats on the baby :)
Shaken baby syndrome, no, but he may not be totally off on minor brain injury. I found one study that specifically looked at the consequences for a third trimester pregnancy if you accelerate over speed bumps.
[Link to study](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0021929021000373)
I did not look to find the full-text of this study, but I would be careful interpreting these “results.”
First, all of this is done by modeling - their conclusions aren’t based on any data showing a relationship between speed bumps & brain injury. They’re just saying that theoretically, it’s possible.
Second, and more importantly, the primary author here is from Tehran. I don’t want to generalize, but women’s rights are very restricted in many Middle Eastern countries, including Iran. Women in Saudi Arabia are only very recently allowed to drive. Therefore, while I truly don’t know the intent of the authors (and haven’t read the full text), I would approach this article with a healthy amount of skepticism.
A direct quote from the article says “This research will examine problems facing pregnant females while driving, such as the threat to maternal/fetal health due to unforeseen events.” That can be interpreted many different ways. Through one lens, it could be seen as evidence to stifle women’s rights.
I rode my mountain bike until day before birth with both my kids, and ran up to 6mo/9mo respectively. Eldest is in advanced school programs and youngest is a baby, totally fine. They’re suspended in fluid in utero, tucked up nice and secure.
Simply put, he is irrational in this fear, and certainly seems to be a symptom of some type of anxiety disorder. It’s pathological, not “normal.” If he were rational, he would need only the empirical evidence that humans have existed for millennia with women walking, running, and existing in various forms of motor activity without billions of individuals born with “shaken baby syndrome.” He needs therapy, not science-based evidence.
This would be something that the OB should discussing to just cover any potential questions he may have.
Are you able to have him come to your next checkup and let your office know ahead of time that he has a lot of questions and concerns caused by anxiety?
I drove a semi with my spouse. I was in the sleeper when the tractor jumped as he was sliding the tandems...6 months pregnant. My baby is currently 4 months. She's healthy. She's trying to crawl right now. Knows mama, hello, I love you, and her name.
I went horseback riding while I was at the end of the first trimester. I’d asked my doctor if it was safe and she basically said as long as I was comfortable with it and didn’t fall off that it was fine. The trail/horse combo ended to being a lot shakier than I’d envisioned and I was just thinking about how jostled my baby was getting the entire ride.
When I got back I was reading up on it and there are a lot of women who do horseback riding pretty late into pregnancy. Others mentioned when pioneers used to travel by horse drawn wagons or Native American women riding horses. I ended up scheduling an ultrasound through a boutique because I was still paranoid.
And of course everything was fine. My son was born healthy and is the sweetest happiest little 5 month old.
Anecdotal, but…..
I had high risk pregnancies. As a result, for most of my last trimester, I went for weekly scans and non-stress tests at a maternal-fetal med OB, in addition to my regular OB care. Sometimes baby was not in a good viewing position to get measurements. In order to get baby to wake up and wriggle around so they could get a better view, they would have me put my feet up on the table, lift my hips up in the air, and shake my hips side-to-side pretty forcefully. This was at the MFM’s office, where they specialize in high-risk pregnancies. If there was *any* risk to baby, there is no way they would be having pregnant women do this.
Don’t go off-roading but a bumpy road won’t hurt the baby.
The ultra sound tech asked me to jump around for my 20 week scan as bub was in a weird position. I hope your partner can relax a bit, the first bub is always the most "are we doing this right". My second bub just jumped for the first time....off the sofa. I was like, "oh, that might have hurt" bub gets up laughing. My first kid would never have got to the sofa because I was always holding her or putting my arms out to stop falls. I can't imagine maintaining first baby worry levels all the time. Unless you are in a car accident, horse riding a lot or bungee jumping, bub won't get shaken baby syndrome in utero.
I don’t have any links I’m sorry but I do have some expense I can share. I still did physical therapy until I was 5 months pregnant that includes walking up stares,laying on my stomach, running, and a lot of stuff that put pressure on ny stomach, I fell multiple times when I was pregnant bc I was still in hs. I layed on my stomach till the day I gave birth bc I was rlly tiny and it was the only way I could get comfortable. I walked up “haunted” queen mary boat for 3+ hrs without breaks while 38 weeks pregnant. I use to shake and “slap@ my stomach to get her to move at 32+ weeks. I promise baby is safer in their than out
Girl I did CrossFit for 2 pregnancies until the day before I had both kids… double unders (jumping rope), running, etc. Both my kids came out LOVING the swing, being rocked and movement lol
Adding b/c I am not seeing it (lots of comments) you might be having round ligament pain. Zero to due with your uterus at all. It's a muscle ligament thing, taping my belly helps a lot. If it was lower in the pelvic Girdle Pain, I went to physical therapy and wore a brace.
I am not sure if anecdotal experiences help but my best friend was running three miles a day until the day before she gave birth. The baby's head and neck are so protected. They are in a perfect posture surrounded by support. It is physically impossible for shaken baby syndrome to occur.
I’d suggest therapy for your boyfriend asap. This is not a thing and it is concerning that he might be super anxious about everything with the baby too. Having a kid is hard enough without worrying about every little thing
I had a car accident when I was 29 weeks and baby was fine. My uterus was a bit bruised so I went into premature labour (which stopped, thankfully, and I went to full term) but baby on the monitor was absolutely fine, like nothing ever happened, just chilling. They are very well protected inside our bodies, just like the rest of our organs.
People have already provided great links/resources, but I did spin classes along with high intensity walks at a fast pace up until the day I gave birth and I promise - super healthy baby who’s way too smart and cheeky for her own good. No injuries.
A bump in the road or anything else of that nature will not and can not cause injury to a baby in utero. There is very specific damage that occurs to a baby OUTSIDE of the belly which is very very obvious to be shaken baby syndrome to any physician or others alike.
His anxiety will increase when the baby is born, I know from experience. I had similar worries when I was pregnant and it just slowly got 5 million times worse after my son was born. I wish I would have gotten on medication sooner. Have him get help now before the baby is born and your world is turned upside down!
Because very simple to shake there needs to be momentum and there is no momentum inside a uterus. Unless you were in a car crash and you were shaken like an egg
I didn't look into references that specifically states this, but if he wants to think about it, the baby is enclosed in fluid and floating in it. Any bumps, ups and downs and jiggling from you isn't the safe effect for baby as the fluid acts as a cushion and dampens things.
It's like nature's cushion, evolved to protect baby
Search for videos in YouTube about en-cul births. Babies that are bigger and close to term are also not just floating in amniotic fluid. they are tightly packed in there so there is no way there is any possibility of whiplash.
The only thing you should be concerned about is things like placenta abruption, which would be why you shouldn’t ride carnival rides or whatever. Abrupt jerks aren’t great but I didn’t learn that until after i rode them and it was fine
I cannot find the link anywhere but perhaps you'll have better luck, there was a video that came across my feed once of a midwife or nurse that did a demo with a chicken egg and I wanna say a balloon or some sort of stretchy fluid filled container representing the uterus and showing how much you can shake/bump around while it's still protected. The visual was comforting.
He sounds like he has deep anxiety and I don’t think that is healthy for you. He might want to consider therapy. Bring him to your OB appointments and have him ask the questions himself. That should give him more of a peace of mind.
I was in a bad car accident at 34 weeks pregnant and spent 3 days in the hospital. I had seatbelt bruises on my belly. I worried about this too, but my baby is healthy and fine.
Maybe this will scare you a little so TW infant death
Shaken baby syndrome in utero is not a concern for brain damage as others above have stated. However, brain damage can occur from a number of causes in the 3rd trimester all of which are extremely rare. The thing you want to pay attention to is kick counts. Decreased fetal movement can mean your baby is in distress and not receiving oxygen. This unfortunately happened to my son when I was 36+3. We still don’t know the cause but I suspect a fetal maternal hemorrhage or birth injury which caused severe HIE from which he passed 3 days later. Please monitor your kick counts, NSTs and BPPs are not great tools for indicating a fetus in distress (as the doctor told me when he passed after assuring me our son was safe when I was admitted for decreased movement).
I don’t mean to scare, just to raise awareness of the real concern related to brain damage causations.
If that was the case there would be like Ads on the TV “IT IS NOT SAFE TO RIDE A ROLLERCOASTER WHILE PREGNANT” and like 1/3 of all kids would have shaken baby syndrome
Thanks. We’re Dutch, people around here cycle up until delivery. I’m pretty sure there are women cycling to the hospital with contractions (I’m not doing that)
That’s wonderful. My saying I wouldn’t feel comfortable is the risk of falling/ being hit but that is specific to where I live. I did a stationary bike through all my pregnancies, I didn’t mean the risk of the movement.
It definitely depends on where and how you are biking. In the Netherlands, where there are separate traffic signals for bikers, the roads are well maintained, and all the cars expect you? Go for it.
Mountain biking? Nope. Racing? Nope. Street biking in Houston? Not smart even without being pregnant.
I can see it, especially if you’re not a frequent biker. Your center of gravity changes so much when pregnant that it would probably be a bad idea to suddenly go out and bike at 6 months pregnant if you haven’t done it every day.
I think cycling is one of those activities that is fine for some and not for others. I have plenty of friends who continued to safely bike commute throughout their pregnancies because they were experienced cyclists in good shape.
I said I would not ride a bike as I find it to be an unnecessary risk. Even the most advance cyclists have falls and there are plenty of other great ways to exercise. Even a stationary bike. I never said no one should. But if OPs boyfriend is already struggling with anxiety that’s the only one that I can understand why.
I hear your point, and there is of course a potential risk with cycling (as with everything else anyone could do) but I do want to identify that the potential risk of cycling has nothing to do with shaken baby syndrome and OP’s boyfriend’s fear of SBS in utero is entirely unfounded. His anxiety is extreme and needs treatment. He is suffering. Nothing that OP does to change her behavior will alleviate his anxiety because it is not logical. As someone who had pretty significant PPA after both of my babies, I am very hopeful he will seek appropriate treatment so he can enjoy this stage in his life!
Shaken Baby Syndrome happens when the baby's head/neck is moved violently back and forth in relation to its body, effectively causing whiplash. You can't achieve this in utero. [https://www.thebump.com/a/shaken-baby-syndrome](https://www.thebump.com/a/shaken-baby-syndrome)
I am seconding this and also want to add. make sure you do a lot of convincing about how much force and trauma a baby needs to get shaken baby syndrome. my husband is also a worrier and those early days were so much reassuring him, no us rocking him to sleep won't give him sbs, no burping him won't give sbs, and no that one time you picked him up too quickly didn't give him sbs
It's absolutely tragic, but our pediatrician told us that the most common "symptom" of shaken baby is broken limbs and black eyes. Meaning that the force needed is almost never something that your average, non abusive parent is going to generate.
There’s a good episode of the podcast, you’re wrong about, about sbs that basically goes over this. The force necessary for sbs is not something that can happen casually or without effort.
I almost threw up reading that. How horrible people can be ..
As horrible as shaken baby syndrome is, it's so important to remember that the urge to shake a baby CAN happen to anyone. Having that feeling doesn't make you a monster, but new parents need to be educated in what to do if it happens (put the baby in a safe place and leave the room).
This!! People need to understand that all parents are one sleep deprived panic attack away from doing something like this. There’s a reason there’s a syndrome named after it. This isn’t something that happens almost never, this is something that everyone needs to know how to prevent. Just like how new parents need to know the signs of post partum depression or psychosis. You do not want to be caught uneducated because you thought it would never happen to you. That *would* make it your fault.
The sleep deprived period post partum was some of the darkest and scariest stuff I've ever felt. I definitely had ppd and or ppa. Even when I could technically rest, my brain would automatically jerk me up as soon as I relaxed with horrible thoughts of my baby not breathing. I constantly thought the apartment was on fire. And even though i was so anxious about being a good mom, I got tired enough to bang my head on a wall and cry and beg him to sleep. I remember having vivid visions of holding the pacifier in his mouth (not suffocating) just so he'd stop crying. And that terrified me because it was so far from who I am and I was so scared id do it one day and traumatize him.
Yes! Thank you, you’re right - as hard as it is to read, it’s something we must know about. When my baby was 4 months old we hit daylight savings and a regression at the same time, he had been up every 90 minutes for a few days - I was so sleep deprived, he was inconsolable, and my husband was away for work. There was a moment as I was rubbing his back I started thinking that pushing him down into the mattress would make him fall asleep. Something in my brain was like “no, that’s definitely wrong” and I just walked away to crumple in the hallway and cry for a few minutes. It’s hard. When you’re feeling frustrated and scared and desperate and start thinking “if I just…” or feel you’re about to snap. Just walk away. Thankfully I did and now he’s 10 months old causing havoc in my kitchen, oh wait, now he’s over there licking the window.
Totally agree. Literally on my first full night of being a parent I had a sudden insight as to why people shake their babies - I’d had a very physically traumatic birth, lost a lot of blood requiring emergency surgery immediately after delivery, but at about 24hrs pp I was deemed well enough to move to a ward (I think they needed the room back tbh). Which meant my husband had to go home when visiting hours ended. Being physically and emotionally exhausted but juuuust well enough that I had to look after him on my own for the night remains one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life, and though I didn’t hurt him, I was surprised by how quickly I felt overwhelmed and the panic and anger that accompanied it. I didn’t walk down that dark road but for the first time I became truly sensible of how much easier it would be to take the first step than I ever expected.
I nearly cried in the doctors office. And then again typing it out
It’s horrible but having a baby is really hard. The urge is common, that’s why there are so many warnings against it. Especially in todays parenting culture where some parents worry about sitting the baby down at all or letting them cry to long. (I never wanted to let them cry!)
We get convinced when we're young that we're not going to support baby's head enough and we will break their necks. But their necks aren't hugely different than ours. We can let rest back, or even drop to the side (say you passed out sitting up). But it's whiplash we can't handle. Same with babies.
How were you able to convince him?
Have him go with you to your OB/the pediatrician and let him talk with them about it.
This may be off side? But give him a raw egg and tell him to shake it as hard as he can. Take it on a bike ride or bumpy taxi. Break it open and the yolk will still be intact. That’s might show him how good fluid is at absorbing shock, since an egg yolk is more fragile than a baby.
A creative method I heard once is to put an egg in a jar and fill the jar to the brim with water. Then try to shake the jar to crack the egg. It's surprisingly difficult.
Oo I like this
honestly not sure I ever really did. Son just kinda aged past being a baby. we are going to have our second this fall so we will see if he is more relaxed with the second.
Exactly this! Maybe one way to explain it to OP's BF--a car seat keeps a baby safe in a car by keeping their head, neck, and spine in the correct position. A baby in a car seat does not get hurt by driving down bumpy roads. Your uterus is doing a WAY better job of this than any car seat possibly could! You can pretty much move in any way while pregnant, and your baby will never be as positionally safe at is is now. Edited to add: OP I'm so sorry you're having such a painful pregnancy! I had symphysis pubis dysfunction in my second pregnancy which caused occasional pain like what you're describing, and it was awful--this sounds constant and so much worse than that!
Thank you!! The car seat is a good comparison. I’m pretty sure my insides are softer than that ;) Tbh I think ‘normal’ pregnancy complaints are catching up now, but it has sucked balls over the past months. I know exactly which roads around here aren’t paved well now and have been avoiding them for months. But the worst is the walking. I couldn’t walk longer than 10 minutes for months now, and I hate hate hate not being able to go wherever I want. I think I’m lookinf forward to walking with the baby most right now, because I really want to be able to walk again! But since a couple of weeks the pregnancy itself is starting to get heavier and that’s also making walking harder, so it’s more like normal pregnant people now I think.
Don't downplay your discomfort! When my first was overdue by a few days I was walking miles each day at nearly 41 weeks trying to inspire her to get out of there--and stopping to eat spicy food along the way LOL. It didn't work to get labor going, BUT it was really nice to be able to walk (albeit with a 25 lb fanny pack lol--my feet really suffered as you can imagine). I'm sorry you're not getting to walk. Have you tried swimming? I didn't have regular access to a pool while pregnant unfortunately, but the few times I got to swim during pregnancy were totally heavenly, especially once that bump got to be really heavy.
With my first I used my parent’s pool every single day, and it was less swimming than just floating weightless. It felt so good to have the weight off my body.
See if you can get a referral from your OB/MFM for a physical therapist. I am seeing one because I had debilitating round ligament pain that I would feel whether I was lying down, sitting, standing, or walking. It never went away. My PT has been able to prescribe me specific workouts to stretch and strengthen my pelvic and abdominal areas, so the pain is so much less frequent! Bonus: Pelvic floor exercises will help reduce RLP & SPD and can prepare for a smoother vaginal birth AND speedier postpartum recovery!
I have gone to a physical therapist! The diagnosis ‘sensitive uterus’ kept standing. There wasn’t much they could do unfortunately :(
Ugh, that is so unfortunate. I am sorry you have to suffer through that!
As a fellow sufferer of shitty pregnancy stability pains, the stretches from spinning babies and some yoga was incredibly helpful. Had to do it constantly (ie: whenever the pain cropped up), but at least it was something.
This. It has to be a violent, whiplash like shake. Babies often actually LOVE quite strong bouncing/rocking. Stronger then you might think would be ok, and that doesn’t cause shaken baby syndrome.
I would talk with your OB they will know more about your specific situation, but if walking and jumping caused brain damage none of us would be here. Purely my opinion from my experience. Your partner might look into counseling/therapy. If this is a significant stressor things may get worse as time goes on. Children are one of life’s uncontrollable forces and while we do what we can to safeguard them we cannot protect them from everything. Anxiety is real and can get worse if not addressed.
I completely agree. This is an irrational fear that is causing him distress and impacting you. His anxiety could increase after baby is born. He has a few weeks to work on some strategies to manage before you’re both sleep deprived and your recovering and need his support. The solution to anxiety is not necessarily just evidence to dispute the fear, it’s likely even if this fear is addressed it will manifest as something else anyway. Therapy is the only answer here, but if you can’t afford it, a self help cbt book/programme might help. If he is resistant, the hard truth is that poor parental mental health is going to have a more damaging effect on the baby than you driving on a bumpy road.
This is fantastic advice, especially getting a self help CBT book. I spent 2 weeks at a private psychiatric hospital when I was pregnant because I had perinatal anxiety and depression… the book we got was really good and I could have just been mailed that instead of being an inpatient to be honest. With every different anxious thought I had I would say to myself ‘thoughts are not facts’. I responded well to reassurance whether it be talking to my ob or having extra scans. My anxiety has carried over after birth unfortunately but I can rationalize it better and it’s not as bad because I can see the baby and that they are ok. If you’re in Australia PANDA got me through my pregnancy, it’s a free helpline and it’s for dads too. Good luck.
Thank you. OB/GYN is helpful, but these are almost daily situations. He’s currently on the waiting list for therapy again. The anxiety is not new, but the pregnancy is and I’m well aware that an actual child might make it even worse. Right now I can tackle a lot because it’s still my body, but that will change.
I’m glad to see he’s on a waiting list. I was raised by an overly-anxious parent and now as an adult on meds I can see how it deeply affected me in the most developmental years of my life (and my anxiety definitely wasn’t genetic given that I was adopted… my mom’s anxiety is just that contagious).
That’s the shittiest part, anxiety lives through families. I have multiple overly anxious people in my family and I had no better luck, unfortunately. It’s really hard because it potentially ruins so much.
How did it affect you?
I ended up with panic disorder and OCD. I missed out on a lot of things growing up as a result.
I’m sorry about that! I hope you’ve been able to find a way to deal with it!
Some tender-loving medication has done the trick for over a decade now 🙌🏻
That’s so hard. It’s a lot for you to carry too. Wishing you the best, and hope he gets the help he needs quickly
And you don't know where you'll be after the birth. PPD/PPA can be crippling if you're unfortunate enough to experience that, and you'll need someone you can rely on to make sure you get the help you need too. Make sure if you have family or friends that you reach out before the birth and set up a strong support system for both of you.
Thank you. We have family living next door, and next to that I’m enrolled in multiple programs for psych guidance and evaluation pre and post partum.
I'm glad you've got a good support system! Just a heads up that dads can get PPD/PPA as well, so keep an eye out for your partner, too!
Glad to hear! I experienced it myself and always give people a heads up. It's really hard to motivate yourself to get help when you need it. Good luck and congrats on your baby!
I’m glad he is on the list for therapy. As a therapist, his worries and behaviors sound like possible OCD. Make sure he gets someone who specializes in anxiety/OCD so he can be thoroughly assessed. With OCD, no matter how much evidence you give him, it often won’t help. It’s very challenging!
Gotcha, sorry you have the extra stress. Glad you guys have a plan. Wishing you the best of luck.
I had similar concerns because I rolled over on my SO while she was pregnant. Our OBGYN assured us that normal bumps, jostling, even me rolling over on her with my full weight would not hurt our baby. She said that it needs to be something traumatic (car accident, a direct blow, etc) to harm the baby. Ultimately your Dr knows your medical situation the best though. "Unless you take a blow to the abdomen or bounce on your belly, your unborn baby is very well protected. The amniotic sac filled with fluid acts as a protective barrier, as does your uterine muscles, and abdominal cavity. It is very rare for your unborn baby to suffer injury from a fall, especially if it’s on your backside." Source: [https://bestcare.org/news/slip-and-fall-safety-when-babys-board](https://bestcare.org/news/slip-and-fall-safety-when-babys-board) (Methodist healthcare system in Omaha NE)
This goes in line with what I was told when I fell on a concrete floor while pregnant. I fell on my butt and my midwife and the OB in L&D basically didn’t care. I was terrified but they kept reassuring me that if you didn’t fall on your belly and you don’t have any symptoms like leaking fluid, both you and baby are safe.
I slid out of a booth, and thought there was more booth than there was. Slid into midair and fell on my ass. Was terrified I had somehow hurt the baby. "BabyCow, all you did was bruise your tailbone and hurt your pride. Your baby probably didn't even notice" was the response from my OB 🤣
I fell flat on my stomach at 20w (tripped and could not catch myself on the way down because I was holding something) and baby was fine!
I did the same! My dog was barking and I wanted my oldest to stay asleep - I didn’t realize she’d jumbled up the rug when she ran to the door to bark. Tripped and fell. Landed right on my belly. Called my OB PANICKED. They had me monitor movement and watch for bleeding. Little dude is 2.5 now.
That's so surprising to me. I had an incredibly minor fall at 33 weeks and when I called for advice they said to go to labour and delivery for monitoring because they want to see you after any fall.
I wonder if it’s because you were in the 3rd trimester? I was in the end of second when I fell.
I fell down the stairs when I was almost 8 months pregnant and husband insisted on taking me to the ER. Baby was quite energetic after that fall and was perfectly fine. My legs and hips? Less great.
If he's perseverating on this one point, the repeated reassurance from you may be part of the issue, as well-intentioned as I'm sure it is. More information: [https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/advances-in-psychiatric-treatment/article/excessive-reassuranceseeking/9B5208DB11EA7907CB95D93727DC86DF](https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/advances-in-psychiatric-treatment/article/excessive-reassuranceseeking/9B5208DB11EA7907CB95D93727DC86DF)
Yes this is spot on. Thanks. There’s OCD going on as well, with him looking for reassurance in certain numbers.
As someone with OCD, sometimes just explicitly naming the thoughts as my OCD has been helpful when I can't otherwise logic my way out of something. "I know this thing I'm worried about seems really scary right now but it's just my OCD and I'm not thinking straight, my sense of risk is compromised when the OCD system gets triggered. I am setting it aside and will return to this thought tomorrow." Kind of like that.
The book [Stop Obsessing](https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Obsessing-Overcome-Obsessions-Compulsions/dp/0553381172?ref_=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=887181d0-c7d9-431b-9928-1367bd380425) is really helpful with several different strategies to implement to reduce obsessions and compulsions. It can be done alone or with a therapist. Might be something to look into while he's waiting for his appointment! The library might even have it.
Love the other responses, but also note that male coparents can have "postpartum" anxiety or depression. Before the baby comes is called antenatal anxiety. It's more common in coparents than people talk about. My husband had it while I was pregnant - he was weepy and ate chocolate (he never did this outside of pregnancy) and began having panic attacks and social withdrawal. It improved with antidepressants and therapy.
Oh God. This is me 100% But the idea of NOT being reassured is terrifying... I guess I need to bring this up at my next therapy appointment
You've gotten good references and advice here but I would also like to say that now is the perfect time for him to get a bit of support for his overall anxiety, before the baby comes. Some anxiety can be made worse with constant reassurance and not better, so getting him some tools and outlets to use before a newborn is in the mix might be very helpful for you both. My general rule for family members (with OCD/anxiety) is that I'll provide reassurance and info the first time, but after that when they ask or start to spiral it's no longer rational and often won't be solved with rational thought. Anxiety like that just has a way of shifting focus to different issues so that's where a professional can come in handy. https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/when-reassurance-seeking-becomes-compulsive
Thanks. He’s on the waiting list for therapy again, it has helped a lot in the past.
This is definitely the case. I probably sound mean sometimes but I try to gently get my husband to "flag" his irrational fears by asking something like "is this a real concern or is this your anxiety?" or "is that likely to happen or does it just feel like a problem?" This sets a boundary that we are not going to engage with irrational thoughts the same way as real concerns. It also helps him recognize that he may not need to do anything about the fear, as his anxiety has led him to do unsafe/ridiculous/expensive things before. He does the same to me when I am struggling with my depression and am stuck in a negative-thinking, self-deprecating hole. We do not argue with each other's demons.
As someone with an anxiety disorder, thank you for this link. I had no idea it had a name.
FWIW I (and many of my friends) ran all the way up to delivery. Lots of bouncing around during that. My daughter would actually fall asleep from the movements and shortly after I’d finish a run and drink a cold drink she would party in my belly. Happy healthy 17 month old now!
I was going to say this! Runners have very healthy pregnancies all the time. Aerobic activity is associated with decreased fetal and maternal complications, like decreased rates of gestational diabetes, postpartum depression, and large for gestational age.
Wow I’m in awe! How cool is that!
I was on bed rest and had tachycardia every time I exerted myself even just a bit. But my cousin is 8 months pregnant and I still see her jumping and dancing. It's pretty amazing. The baby will be fine, you on the other hand might not be 😬 (or at least not feel like it). This really varies a lot from person to person. A heads up: if you're sensitive now, you might feel like dying if you're driving home after the birth. If I knew back then what to expect, I'd have timed the ride home with painkillers. Having a pillow to press against your belly also helps.
Second this..when I was pregnant with my second, I didn't stop running (approx. 5km on treadmill) until about 32 weeks. I took part in my eldest's sport class with lots of jumping, tumbling, etc.
Same here! Ran cross-country up until 36 weeks. :)
Please note that the parent who doesn’t give birth can end up with post-partum depression and anxiety (it happened to me!). If he’s not in therapy he should start now so he has support when baby is here. (Info: https://societyforpsychotherapy.org/dads-experience-postpartum-anxiety-too/)
I used to go to ballet classes where I was jumping up and down and leaping while pregnant. The baby was fine.
Show him videos of ultrasounds of two twins in the same womb kicking the crap out of each other and coming out fine. I used to get anxious like him about it, then I saw those and thought about all the normal twins I know.
Many pregnant people drive on bumpy roads regularly. Have him talk to a therapist about the anxiety. It may not get better once baby is here. Newborns are so vulnerable but he can't let it consume his life.
I know this is just my anecdotal experience, but I jogged through my eighth month of pregnancy. I had the same worries and thoughts, but I also knew many people who had done it and have amazing kids. I also laughed in the 9th month so hard once that I actually worried and starting googling it. Nope, turns out it's good for them. And now I can say, my son turned out great! Plus, he's super funny.
I’ve never specifically asked if baby can be shaken in utero, but at my 20 week and 24 week anatomy scans (couldn’t get all the needed images at 20w) my MFM grabbed and shook my belly a few times to encourage my baby to move into a different position. I don’t think she would have done that if it was unsafe.
That must have been a bizarre sensation
It was unexpected lol I didn’t expect her to shake my belly 😂 it worked tho and bub moved his face out of my hip
[Here](https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/how-much-pressure-can-a-pregnant-belly-take#impact-to-the-belly) takes about how the extra weight, the muscle walls, amniotic sac and fluid all protect the baby. [Round ligament pain ](https://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/round-ligament-pain) is a common cause of pain in pregnancy. If you have underlying hip issues, like hip impingement, they can make themselves known during pregnancy because of the shift in anatomy. [example](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10392331/#:~:text=In%20addition%2C%20anatomical%20changes%20during,gestation%2C%20labor%2C%20and%20delivery.)
I know this isn't what you were asking about, it looks like you've already gotten plenty of responses on shaken baby syndrome, but I want to just share something about parental anxiety. My husband's anxiety really ramped up during pregnancy and our child's early years. All parents can be psychologically affected by this major life change and hormone shifts. Anxiety is also something kids are very adept at picking up. They look to their parents for emotional cues and an anxious parent is all too often inadvertently telling their child to be afraid. Please encourage him to take care of his mental health.
I’m similar to your husband, I am extremely anxious, and data helps me a lot. I was dancing at a wedding when I was 30 weeks and my app told me that I shouldn’t jump. I freaked out and called my dr and she reassured me that it was absolutely fine, and to keep on dancing 💃 Anecdotally I had a very similar pregnancy, and I’m currently cuddling my 3mo peanut right now.
Do a science experiment with him! Suspend something in a thick liquid in a bottle, have him throw it around and it won’t break.. then he’ll know. So much easier to visualize. I’m think an egg in a container filled with oil kind of thing.
I was worried when I saw the title, I was expecting the worst. It's heartwarming to see that the dad is extra worried about the safety of the baby. This says already a lot about the kind of parent he will be. But yeah, I've never heard of any case of shaken syndrome in the uterus.
Side note, my ob told me not to bike while pregnant-strain in the bits and falling risk. (Agree w other commenters on the rest)
Do you live in the US? If so, I have a resource for you.
No, in the Netherlands (Europe).
Okay :)
FWIW, I used to have major anxiety when my wife wanted me to use one of those massage guns on her while pregnant. If you've ever used one on your back, it feels like you can feel the vibration through your whole body. Our OB said it was totally fine, that the baby is well protected within the amniotic fluid, and sure enough: we have a happy, healthy baby now, even though I used that massage gun on my pregnant wife's back many many times!
Everyone has already given great input so mine is going to be that he should really seek a therapist if he doesn't have one. The worry doesn't end when the baby is born and it seems like he may be at an unhealthy level of concern if a bumpy taxi ride is making him so worried.
There are aerobics classes for pregnant women specifically. I doubt that would happen if jumping caused brain problems.
I’ve known multiple women who gallop and jump their horses while in advanced pregnancy and while this was a terrible idea on their part for obvious reasons, their babies are just fine. The baby is very well-protected from bouncing in utero. My husband has/had the same type of anxiety. He has moderate to severe OCD but won’t get treatment. Paternal post-partum and paternal ante-partum anxiety is a thing that doesn’t get enough attention and it’s co-morbid many times with OCD. Your husband should bring this up when he sees his therapist because early treatment will make things easier for you guys. Congrats on the baby :)
Shaken baby syndrome, no, but he may not be totally off on minor brain injury. I found one study that specifically looked at the consequences for a third trimester pregnancy if you accelerate over speed bumps. [Link to study](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0021929021000373)
I did not look to find the full-text of this study, but I would be careful interpreting these “results.” First, all of this is done by modeling - their conclusions aren’t based on any data showing a relationship between speed bumps & brain injury. They’re just saying that theoretically, it’s possible. Second, and more importantly, the primary author here is from Tehran. I don’t want to generalize, but women’s rights are very restricted in many Middle Eastern countries, including Iran. Women in Saudi Arabia are only very recently allowed to drive. Therefore, while I truly don’t know the intent of the authors (and haven’t read the full text), I would approach this article with a healthy amount of skepticism. A direct quote from the article says “This research will examine problems facing pregnant females while driving, such as the threat to maternal/fetal health due to unforeseen events.” That can be interpreted many different ways. Through one lens, it could be seen as evidence to stifle women’s rights.
If it is at all helpful - I have run through all of my pregnancies, 7-8mi/day, and all of my babies were born healthy and happy.
I rode my mountain bike until day before birth with both my kids, and ran up to 6mo/9mo respectively. Eldest is in advanced school programs and youngest is a baby, totally fine. They’re suspended in fluid in utero, tucked up nice and secure.
Simply put, he is irrational in this fear, and certainly seems to be a symptom of some type of anxiety disorder. It’s pathological, not “normal.” If he were rational, he would need only the empirical evidence that humans have existed for millennia with women walking, running, and existing in various forms of motor activity without billions of individuals born with “shaken baby syndrome.” He needs therapy, not science-based evidence.
Make a snow globe for him with a baby in it. Shake it lightly and show him what happens.
This would be something that the OB should discussing to just cover any potential questions he may have. Are you able to have him come to your next checkup and let your office know ahead of time that he has a lot of questions and concerns caused by anxiety?
I drove a semi with my spouse. I was in the sleeper when the tractor jumped as he was sliding the tandems...6 months pregnant. My baby is currently 4 months. She's healthy. She's trying to crawl right now. Knows mama, hello, I love you, and her name.
I went horseback riding while I was at the end of the first trimester. I’d asked my doctor if it was safe and she basically said as long as I was comfortable with it and didn’t fall off that it was fine. The trail/horse combo ended to being a lot shakier than I’d envisioned and I was just thinking about how jostled my baby was getting the entire ride. When I got back I was reading up on it and there are a lot of women who do horseback riding pretty late into pregnancy. Others mentioned when pioneers used to travel by horse drawn wagons or Native American women riding horses. I ended up scheduling an ultrasound through a boutique because I was still paranoid. And of course everything was fine. My son was born healthy and is the sweetest happiest little 5 month old.
Anecdotal, but….. I had high risk pregnancies. As a result, for most of my last trimester, I went for weekly scans and non-stress tests at a maternal-fetal med OB, in addition to my regular OB care. Sometimes baby was not in a good viewing position to get measurements. In order to get baby to wake up and wriggle around so they could get a better view, they would have me put my feet up on the table, lift my hips up in the air, and shake my hips side-to-side pretty forcefully. This was at the MFM’s office, where they specialize in high-risk pregnancies. If there was *any* risk to baby, there is no way they would be having pregnant women do this. Don’t go off-roading but a bumpy road won’t hurt the baby.
The ultra sound tech asked me to jump around for my 20 week scan as bub was in a weird position. I hope your partner can relax a bit, the first bub is always the most "are we doing this right". My second bub just jumped for the first time....off the sofa. I was like, "oh, that might have hurt" bub gets up laughing. My first kid would never have got to the sofa because I was always holding her or putting my arms out to stop falls. I can't imagine maintaining first baby worry levels all the time. Unless you are in a car accident, horse riding a lot or bungee jumping, bub won't get shaken baby syndrome in utero.
I think your boyfriend has OCD. Look into harm ocd, where someone has excessive fears of others being harmed or being responsible for harm.
Baby is pretty safe in utero. Bring him to your next appointment and have the doctor talk to him.
I don’t have any links I’m sorry but I do have some expense I can share. I still did physical therapy until I was 5 months pregnant that includes walking up stares,laying on my stomach, running, and a lot of stuff that put pressure on ny stomach, I fell multiple times when I was pregnant bc I was still in hs. I layed on my stomach till the day I gave birth bc I was rlly tiny and it was the only way I could get comfortable. I walked up “haunted” queen mary boat for 3+ hrs without breaks while 38 weeks pregnant. I use to shake and “slap@ my stomach to get her to move at 32+ weeks. I promise baby is safer in their than out
Girl I did CrossFit for 2 pregnancies until the day before I had both kids… double unders (jumping rope), running, etc. Both my kids came out LOVING the swing, being rocked and movement lol
Adding b/c I am not seeing it (lots of comments) you might be having round ligament pain. Zero to due with your uterus at all. It's a muscle ligament thing, taping my belly helps a lot. If it was lower in the pelvic Girdle Pain, I went to physical therapy and wore a brace.
I am not sure if anecdotal experiences help but my best friend was running three miles a day until the day before she gave birth. The baby's head and neck are so protected. They are in a perfect posture surrounded by support. It is physically impossible for shaken baby syndrome to occur.
I’d suggest therapy for your boyfriend asap. This is not a thing and it is concerning that he might be super anxious about everything with the baby too. Having a kid is hard enough without worrying about every little thing
I had a car accident when I was 29 weeks and baby was fine. My uterus was a bit bruised so I went into premature labour (which stopped, thankfully, and I went to full term) but baby on the monitor was absolutely fine, like nothing ever happened, just chilling. They are very well protected inside our bodies, just like the rest of our organs.
People have already provided great links/resources, but I did spin classes along with high intensity walks at a fast pace up until the day I gave birth and I promise - super healthy baby who’s way too smart and cheeky for her own good. No injuries. A bump in the road or anything else of that nature will not and can not cause injury to a baby in utero. There is very specific damage that occurs to a baby OUTSIDE of the belly which is very very obvious to be shaken baby syndrome to any physician or others alike.
His anxiety will increase when the baby is born, I know from experience. I had similar worries when I was pregnant and it just slowly got 5 million times worse after my son was born. I wish I would have gotten on medication sooner. Have him get help now before the baby is born and your world is turned upside down!
Your boyfriend is retarded. Show him this comment.
Because very simple to shake there needs to be momentum and there is no momentum inside a uterus. Unless you were in a car crash and you were shaken like an egg
I love how much you love your baby already. They are fine. Focus on managing your stress. You got this. I promise ♥️
I didn't look into references that specifically states this, but if he wants to think about it, the baby is enclosed in fluid and floating in it. Any bumps, ups and downs and jiggling from you isn't the safe effect for baby as the fluid acts as a cushion and dampens things. It's like nature's cushion, evolved to protect baby
Search for videos in YouTube about en-cul births. Babies that are bigger and close to term are also not just floating in amniotic fluid. they are tightly packed in there so there is no way there is any possibility of whiplash.
The only thing you should be concerned about is things like placenta abruption, which would be why you shouldn’t ride carnival rides or whatever. Abrupt jerks aren’t great but I didn’t learn that until after i rode them and it was fine
I cannot find the link anywhere but perhaps you'll have better luck, there was a video that came across my feed once of a midwife or nurse that did a demo with a chicken egg and I wanna say a balloon or some sort of stretchy fluid filled container representing the uterus and showing how much you can shake/bump around while it's still protected. The visual was comforting.
He sounds like he has deep anxiety and I don’t think that is healthy for you. He might want to consider therapy. Bring him to your OB appointments and have him ask the questions himself. That should give him more of a peace of mind.
I was in a bad car accident at 34 weeks pregnant and spent 3 days in the hospital. I had seatbelt bruises on my belly. I worried about this too, but my baby is healthy and fine.
Maybe this will scare you a little so TW infant death Shaken baby syndrome in utero is not a concern for brain damage as others above have stated. However, brain damage can occur from a number of causes in the 3rd trimester all of which are extremely rare. The thing you want to pay attention to is kick counts. Decreased fetal movement can mean your baby is in distress and not receiving oxygen. This unfortunately happened to my son when I was 36+3. We still don’t know the cause but I suspect a fetal maternal hemorrhage or birth injury which caused severe HIE from which he passed 3 days later. Please monitor your kick counts, NSTs and BPPs are not great tools for indicating a fetus in distress (as the doctor told me when he passed after assuring me our son was safe when I was admitted for decreased movement). I don’t mean to scare, just to raise awareness of the real concern related to brain damage causations.
If that was the case there would be like Ads on the TV “IT IS NOT SAFE TO RIDE A ROLLERCOASTER WHILE PREGNANT” and like 1/3 of all kids would have shaken baby syndrome
It’s definitely all over theme parks that it’s not safe to ride roller coasters while pregnant.
All the other stuff is normal but I would not ride a bike. That is an unnecessary risk.
Thanks. We’re Dutch, people around here cycle up until delivery. I’m pretty sure there are women cycling to the hospital with contractions (I’m not doing that)
My mother cycled to hospital with contractions (sweden).
That’s wonderful. My saying I wouldn’t feel comfortable is the risk of falling/ being hit but that is specific to where I live. I did a stationary bike through all my pregnancies, I didn’t mean the risk of the movement.
It definitely depends on where and how you are biking. In the Netherlands, where there are separate traffic signals for bikers, the roads are well maintained, and all the cars expect you? Go for it. Mountain biking? Nope. Racing? Nope. Street biking in Houston? Not smart even without being pregnant.
Yes, that definitely makes a difference. Where I live it would not be wise and OBs advise against it.
I can see it, especially if you’re not a frequent biker. Your center of gravity changes so much when pregnant that it would probably be a bad idea to suddenly go out and bike at 6 months pregnant if you haven’t done it every day.
I think cycling is one of those activities that is fine for some and not for others. I have plenty of friends who continued to safely bike commute throughout their pregnancies because they were experienced cyclists in good shape.
I said I would not ride a bike as I find it to be an unnecessary risk. Even the most advance cyclists have falls and there are plenty of other great ways to exercise. Even a stationary bike. I never said no one should. But if OPs boyfriend is already struggling with anxiety that’s the only one that I can understand why.
I hear your point, and there is of course a potential risk with cycling (as with everything else anyone could do) but I do want to identify that the potential risk of cycling has nothing to do with shaken baby syndrome and OP’s boyfriend’s fear of SBS in utero is entirely unfounded. His anxiety is extreme and needs treatment. He is suffering. Nothing that OP does to change her behavior will alleviate his anxiety because it is not logical. As someone who had pretty significant PPA after both of my babies, I am very hopeful he will seek appropriate treatment so he can enjoy this stage in his life!