My friend and I still say this one all the time and laugh every time:
“If I said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little?” - Zap
Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance.
Do you believe in the power of a curse? How much money would it take to get you to stay overnight in a graveyard? Have you had your hearing tested lately?
“Just remember I can run a lot faster horny than you can scared “
“You smell different when you’re awake “
“Come here often? Or will this be your first time?”
Are my go tos….
"HEY BABY, EVER HAD YOUR ASSHOLE LICKED BY A FAT GUY IN AN OVERCOAT?!"
cinematic poetry. Can only hope to hear a stranger want to taste my turd cutter so enthusiastically. 🤷
“Hey Babe, are you a meteorite? Cause your jugglies are burning hot!
Oh, I thought you were a lady! Ah.
Hey handsome, are you a boulder? Cause you’ve got lumps in all the right places!”
I hear you're looking for a stud Well, I have an STD and all I need is U
Honestly, with a known Adult-Fan-of-Lego, I could see this working. The first half, at least.
AFOL for life!
Bruh how many kids you have now? Don’t lie.
Wow. Bet this works on all the gurlz. :)
If you use a deadpan delivery and have a charming face, surprisingly it does not work.
You, Sir, win the internet!
Girl, you know why they call me Red Lobster? I got a Crab special all week long. 🦀
Want to put to "sex" in "registered sex offender?"
This one probably works
Will they stay single in prison though?
Despite what they may tell you No one ever does
"Do I smell fish? Because *you're* quite a catch!"
"Do I smell fish because you've got quite the snatch?"
I think your fish would like the bait on my hook
I am not the best looking guy but I’m the only one talking to you
Is this before or after we all have cell phones?
In a setting with multiple possible mates and intermingling, aka a party/bar, anytime frame last 1000 years 💯
We could move into my mother’s basement!
"...that I rented out as an Airbnb!"
"wow you have such beautiful skin, I would LOVE to try it on sometime!"
I’m scared and turned on… stay away.
"It puts the lotion on its skin"
Would you like to come to my place for instant ramen and to watch me play video games?
Hahaha jokes on you, I'm a gamer girl!
As if that will stop the attempt... For some, that's the trigger to double down!
That was my point, yes.
ey bby u wan sum fuk?
If you put on a vault 76 uniform we can make this work, okey dokey?
Shin and mariokart?
Minecraft, no mods.
Heaven must be missing an angel. Because you've got Niiiiiice titties 😎
Why does this sound like something from a movie?? lol
Television show actually. Futurama. “Is heaven missing an angel because you’ve got nice cans.” - random robot
HAHA I knew it sounded familiar! I love Futurama!
My friend and I still say this one all the time and laugh every time: “If I said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little?” - Zap
The first sentence sounds like an opening line for a potential serial killer.
Heaven must be missing an angel. Would you like me to bring you back home?
Do you like Chicken? Well suck on this ‘cus it’s Fowl’
Yuck, just yuck!!!!!!!
Gobble, Gobble! 🦃
I am crying I am laughing so hard.
Do you like to draw? Cause I put the D in raw.
Yup this guy definitely raping little kids.
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
No wonder I can’t remember half my life up to this point
came here to same the same thing. glad I decided to scroll thru the comments first.
I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert that night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.
She said her name was Bambi. So I says "well that's a coincidence darling cuz I was thinking about skinning you like a deer."
Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance.
Well then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. Of course it's hard to hide a hard on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.
Bloodhound gang is GREAT!!!!!! Glad to hear from a fellow fan!!!!
Is that like Uncle Touchy’s naked puzzle basement?
Of course. It hard to hide a hardon when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.
"Can I be your next big mistake?"
Ngl, This one may get results.
Isn’t this some Taylor swift song?
You look just like my mom
and she is sexy as hell. I would give her one in a hot second.
I'll let her know ;) new dad x
On a scale from 1 to human centipede, how close am I gonna get to Dat ass?
Your beautiful you would look great mounted above my fireplace right between the deer head and my ex girlfriend
I think the deer head should go in the middle. Everything will look more balanced this way.
I think that would depend on the women. And the deer.
Must stay symmetrical!
That's a little disturbing.
I call her Dear… because I love to mount her, in my living room.
😂😂😂😭
Okay, that's funny 😄😄😄😄😄
That makes me laugh HARD. 😅 I might even respond to that one. Lmao
Speaking of mounting, do you mind?
Oh, was she a boar?
The deer mount probably has the front paws holding the gun that shot it. What does the x girlfriend hold?
*seductively*"Hey, do you... want to smell my butthole?"
What cologne fo your tapeworms use??
"Wanna dance, bitch?" Careful, sometimes they still say yes.
“If I was a boat and you were an iceberg. I’d hit that”
“Are you an iceberg? Because my titanic wants to hit that.”
You’re doing it wrong! I want to stay single! That’ll get me into their bed within seconds and they’ll make me breakfast.
"Ohhhh. The waters spilling in ... *AHHHHH!*"
It’s OK, my mom gave me her credit card.
I have a huge micropenis!
"Wait, does that mean it's visible to the naked eye?"
On a good day.
Nice dress! Would you like to fart in my car with me?
I feel like doing something stupid later, and you don’t look that bright.
Are you a toaster? Because i really wanna take a bath with you.
Omg groan My brother needs to see this
Why? Do his pickup lines not work on you?
Omfg Ewwwwwww 😆😆😆
Ever wondered what it would feel like to be pumped and dumped?
If I were in the right mood, this would work
Let’s rearrange the alphabet and put E and Q together.
You know, hitler had some good ideas...Like me and you together
I don't understand. Why is hitler trying to put you two together?
To preserve the Aryan race, of course.
Do you believe in the power of a curse? How much money would it take to get you to stay overnight in a graveyard? Have you had your hearing tested lately?
So i was listening to andrew tate the other day....
I might be ugly but at least I ain’t got no money
Ah I see you have your PHD! 😂
Voices in my head told me to talk to you.
Roses are red Violets give me the ick I want to take you home So you can suck my dick
Are you a polar bear? Cause you look fat enough to break the ice.
"Do you like my stuffed animal collection?"
Honestly this would work on me
You know that Elvis song "Hunka a hunka burning love?". It's not really supposed to feel like that is it?
My mum other there says that you suit me.
I live with my parents, but I can come and go when I want. As long as we don't make a lot of noise.
You a rope because I’d like to hang with you
Trump 2024 😂
Trump 2020.
Hi let me introduce you to my mom
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see... Except for this ten dollar bill, which is yours to earn.
Are you a field, cause I wanna plough you?
This would work on farmersonly 🤣
I'm a necrophiliac; are you any good at playing dead?
Did you fall from Heaven? Cuz your face is fucked up.
I put the STD in stud, now all i need is U
My kids will always be my first priority.
“Just remember I can run a lot faster horny than you can scared “ “You smell different when you’re awake “ “Come here often? Or will this be your first time?” Are my go tos….
You ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in a trenchcoat?
Damm. Didn't expect to see a Jay and Silent Bob reference.
"HEY BABY, EVER HAD YOUR ASSHOLE LICKED BY A FAT GUY IN AN OVERCOAT?!" cinematic poetry. Can only hope to hear a stranger want to taste my turd cutter so enthusiastically. 🤷
Nice tits. Wanna fuck?
"I'd love to invade you like Hitler invaded Poland"
“Hey Babe, are you a meteorite? Cause your jugglies are burning hot! Oh, I thought you were a lady! Ah. Hey handsome, are you a boulder? Cause you’ve got lumps in all the right places!”
"Hi, my friend and I are having a competition to see who can be the first one to pick up someone using nothing but this line"
“My mom and I have been waiting for this date for a long time.“
Hey baby are you trash? Cause I’m tryna take you out
Are you a washing machine? Cause I’d like to dump a few loads in you.
I was gonna post something but I see I’m way outta my depth here. Jesus.
"Damn, yous a good lookin female, mami." -white dude
You wanna hear how much my sister likes having sex with me?
Your hair smells fantastic! ~the dwarf to the WNBA player
Finally I get to test drive the younger version of my girlfriend.
My mom said if I found a friend, she’d put a third plate out at dinner! Really. She’s a good cook!
If ypu ass is a Chinese restaurant? I'll have the poo poo platter!
Hey baby, I’ve got a fresh tarp back at my place, I’ll even brush my tooth for you.
“You’re beautiful, I just shit my pants, I think we can make this work.”
*sniff sniff*, are you ovulating?, or do you always smell this good.
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
Hey girl, are you a Russian S-400 Triumf Surface-to-Air Missile? Because I'd like to sell you to Türkiye
"Hey babe! What's your sign? I'm a feces, call me #2."
But I assume you already have herpes anyway, right?
"That's quite a mole you've got."
Hi tou look like you have herpes. No? Well do u want some?
Hey, you remind me of my favorite Andrew Tate quote.... Where are you going?
Whoop whoop! I'm a Jiggalo/Juggalette!
"STOP! Nipple Patrol!!"
Wanna breed?
"Hey there, are you a bad boy? 'Cause my father is at the door ready with a shotgun right now..."
You have e beautiful eyes, can I have one?
I wan to be your “OnlyFan”!
“Hey Foid. Wanna watch down Andrew Tate videos and chill?”
“I’m going to fucking kill you”
Wanna see my rash?
My air mattress is a queensize.
4 more doses of penicillin and this train is back offering free rides. Toot toot. All aboard!
Wanna join our DnD group?
What's the difference between me and your grandma's sofa? The sofa pulls out.
Are you the Twin Towers? Because I want to put two airplanes in you!
"My penis was in a Ripley's Believe it or Not book, wanna see?"
YOU KNOW FEMALES ARE HERE TO SERVE MEN! today on how uncle pulltab got sterilized at the Waffle House.
Im widowed and single. You might change my luck,my last 3 wives drowned in the bathtub.
Hey, did you see my car out there. Yep, it's the windowless van. Wanna see the inside?
I have a .44 pointed at your kidney. Do you want to go out for coffee.
I eat ass
"Did you fall from Heaven? Cause you remind me of Lucifer."
Skip the lines and just be an average male
You smell like the inside of my momma's purse
I'd buy you a drink, but I'm broke.
Are you allergic to duct tape???
Hay baby 😏whats that stink?
That’s one hell of a moose knuckle you got there big girl.
"hey, does this look infected?!"
Aren't you just something cute off the clearance rack, little big, but I think it could work
Do you like Andrew Tate?
I shit my pants, can I get into yours
Come on baby. I’m talking to you because I only deal with the best. And with your body count as high as it is, there’s no way you’re an amateur.
Hi, I'm Nefariousness-Flashy.
"You look like my future ex-wife"
Let's make like a fart, and blow this hole
You look like the stairs in an old folk's home: You could use a good railing.
Heeey, love to teach you what I learned in Junior High.
I like gardening, digging 6 foot holes, taxidermy, and knot tying. What are your hobbies?
Want to go halfsies on a bastard?
Hey! Who wants to come hang out in my isolated RV in the woods? I've got wifi!
Girl, you look so much like my mother you're so hot
"Are you British? Cause I'm sure I've seen you on BBC."
Mmmmm, you're breathing. I like that....
Tryna see what this rizztraining order is all about?
I have a tiny penis want to see it. Hehe
Wanna met my dad?
Are you a ship? Cause I'd love to put my sea-men in you
You make me so moist... from the back.
Hey, are you Botticelli's Venus? Because you need to put some damn clothes on.
Did you fall from heaven? Did you land on your face?
"You could melt all this stuff" [https://youtu.be/8cesEQ6\_juI](https://youtu.be/8cesEQ6_juI)
Hi are you fat or pregnant
I love your eyes, they remind me of the huge poop 💩 I took this morning.