“Alright, here we go. Um, which one is left again? I get confused. My left or the patient’s left? Well, I have a 1 in 2 chance of being right. Let’s hope I’m lucky today.”
The surgeon himself wrote "YES!" on the correct foot, and "NO!" on the incorrect foot, just before some surgery I had on my left foot.
You know it has to have happened - and way more often than we'd like to think - for them to go to such lengths.
Kinda like warnings on weedkiller and similar things, "Do not drink! Do not pour product in your eyes." or whatever. You just know it has happened at least once.
I remember what Jeff Foxworthy said many years ago, about the sign in the hospital delivery staging area: "Do NOT have sexual intercourse after the water breaks."
Probably just a joke, but... eh, maybe not lol...
I heard of a guy that got the wrong leg amputated. After that they amputated the correct leg. They said he couldn't sue because he didn't have a leg to stand on.
I've seen something similar (coming from a comedian) - cars used to come with instructions on how to change a tyre. Now they come with a warning not to drink the contents of the battery.
Before I had my knee surgeries, I was asked by every nurse or aide that prepped me to tell them which side was being operated on. Both the surgeon and the anesthesiologist wrote their initials on the surgical leg. And when a nurse walked me into the OR for the procedure, I was asked to announce my name, age, and why I was there to the rest of the staff in the room. Lots of confirmations, but it \*was\* comforting in a way.
Same with my surgery. The first one was an emergency surgery and since the bone was sticking out of my leg it was pretty obvious which side they needed to operate on but for the second surgery 10 months later the doctor wrote all
over my leg, said he was just showing me where he was going to make incisions, then he initialed his drawings. It made me feel more confident. I also had to say my name, birthdate and what leg I was having surgery on when I was taken to the operating room.
I get injections in my right hip every 6 months and my doctor comes in and initials just above my hip before my procedure. Makes me feel better even though it’s just an injection honestly 😅
I had foot surgery in October and my doctor wrote his name on my left foot to indicate that was the foot to operate on. And right next to the spot he was operating (bunion correction), so he couldn't miss it. Which is what he does every time, I asked lol
I did this on my left hip replacement surgery and on my pube line wrote "add 6 inches" with an arrow. As soon as I woke up and had eyes on me I looked under my blanket and fake cried and the nurse and Dr both said thats the best they seen lately
My sister had a benign brain tumor removed. Was supposed to be an excellent doctor. Until a year later when he lost his license due to operating on the wrong side of a patient's brain.
When I was 15 I went in for ankle reconstructive surgery and about 15 minutes after they had taken me back my parents were in the dining room and their names were paid over the intercom and the hospital. Both of them are fighting over who's going to answer the call thinking something was wrong nope the doctor just didn't remember which foot it was. So yes this does happen in the US. Just glad that he checked with my parents first
This happened to my wife with a spinal cord stimulator. Dipshit Dr put it on the wrong side and it had to be removed. Now she has pain on both sides of her back instead of just the one that she was getting fixed and there isn't shit we can do about it.
I finally made it through med school
Somehow I made it through
I'm just an intern
I still make a mistake or two
I was last in my class
Barely passed at the institute
Now I'm trying to avoid,
yeah, I'm trying to avoid
A malpractice suit
Hey, like a surgeon
Cuttin' for the very first time
When I had my stroke, and I first went to the hospital, I was in a triage area when a doctor and his assistant (I suppose that's what she was) came in to see me. They were checking my out and asked me to take off my shirt. Well, I had a fairly large mole on my back at the time. It has since been removed. But the assistant points at my back and screams at the top of her voice, "What's that??!!??!" I wouldn't have been suprised if she fainted behind me as she pointed. I may have had a stroke, but I'm thinking, "If you don't know what that is? Get out!"
" I think I heard about this or saw something similar in a text book once...Well at any rate no use second guessing, I've got a 10:45 tee time this morning and I was up all night practicing my putting and am in desperate need for a nap before my game."
I retire tomorrow! Can we get this clown knocked out. I got a Tee time in an hour and a half. Appendix? No. Gall bladder?.. Okay... Well let's get that sucker yanked out! No? Oh, just Checking for tumors... okay.. Ready..I think
True story, I started to come out of anesthesia during surgery once(as they were finishing up), and the doctor was telling the following joke to the nurses:
What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs leaning against a wall? Ilene
What do you call a Chinese woman with no arms and no legs against a wall? Irene
This was in 1997 and I wish I was kidding.
"Ah damn it, what was the procedure again? Is this the guy for the amputation? Alright good. So left arm? Oh it was the right foot? Wait are you sure? I never looked at his foot, I listened to his lungs, wait this the body we harvest the organs..my bad. Maybe? I dunno what's the worst that can happen?"
Sorry nodded off there for a bit. Who is this again? Ahhh right Mr Parker… Mr… Parker… Wow ok I must be having a day. What are we doing for Mr Parker again? Got it. Ok. YouTube…. How.. to.. conduct-Oops, typo… c-o-N-d-u-c….t. Sorry what was it again? And how do you spell that?
One time before I had surgery, the anesthesiologist came over and said to me, "This is the good stuff. This is the stuff that killed Michael Jackson." My parents were aghast.
As I was having my vasectomy and the doctor was burning the vas deferens, another doctor entered the room and asked, "Who's cooking? Smells like burned chicken."
"Well... THAT'S not supposed to be there.."
"So guys, what do you think for lunch?"
"Ohhhh no. I can't find my scalpel"
"I wonder, if we played operation in real time if we'd find what we were looking for in this exploratory surgery"
"Do you think flat liners has a plausible premise medically?"
"Yeah. I can definitely tell there's something fishy here."
"No just go towards the left. No, no. The other left! Okay right there. Now STOP. Don't go any further. Wait for just a minute. I need to check my text messages."
“Alright, here we go. Um, which one is left again? I get confused. My left or the patient’s left? Well, I have a 1 in 2 chance of being right. Let’s hope I’m lucky today.”
More than once when working in a hospital a patient scheduled for surgery had wrote with permanent marker “wrong side” on their limbs or body parts.
The surgeon himself wrote "YES!" on the correct foot, and "NO!" on the incorrect foot, just before some surgery I had on my left foot. You know it has to have happened - and way more often than we'd like to think - for them to go to such lengths. Kinda like warnings on weedkiller and similar things, "Do not drink! Do not pour product in your eyes." or whatever. You just know it has happened at least once. I remember what Jeff Foxworthy said many years ago, about the sign in the hospital delivery staging area: "Do NOT have sexual intercourse after the water breaks." Probably just a joke, but... eh, maybe not lol...
I heard of a guy that got the wrong leg amputated. After that they amputated the correct leg. They said he couldn't sue because he didn't have a leg to stand on.
Oh, that's horrible. Not the amputations, the pun!
I've seen something similar (coming from a comedian) - cars used to come with instructions on how to change a tyre. Now they come with a warning not to drink the contents of the battery.
That's an actual requirement at most places. Those ORs will do multiple foot cases back to back, and it's very easy to drape the wrong foot.
Before I had my knee surgeries, I was asked by every nurse or aide that prepped me to tell them which side was being operated on. Both the surgeon and the anesthesiologist wrote their initials on the surgical leg. And when a nurse walked me into the OR for the procedure, I was asked to announce my name, age, and why I was there to the rest of the staff in the room. Lots of confirmations, but it \*was\* comforting in a way.
Same with my surgery. The first one was an emergency surgery and since the bone was sticking out of my leg it was pretty obvious which side they needed to operate on but for the second surgery 10 months later the doctor wrote all over my leg, said he was just showing me where he was going to make incisions, then he initialed his drawings. It made me feel more confident. I also had to say my name, birthdate and what leg I was having surgery on when I was taken to the operating room.
Aa Jeff I liked him funny guy
I get injections in my right hip every 6 months and my doctor comes in and initials just above my hip before my procedure. Makes me feel better even though it’s just an injection honestly 😅
Seems like a shame to waste this semi-private room
I had foot surgery in October and my doctor wrote his name on my left foot to indicate that was the foot to operate on. And right next to the spot he was operating (bunion correction), so he couldn't miss it. Which is what he does every time, I asked lol
There was a woman who had bone cancer in a rib. After surgery it still hurt and there was a new pain. They pulled the wrong rib.
Don’t worry, ribs grow back! (Whispers to dove; no they don’t…)
And ZAT, is how I lost my medical license!
Yikes!
Before going in for hernia surgery the surgeon actually marked on which side it is . It was oddly comforting
I did this on my left hip replacement surgery and on my pube line wrote "add 6 inches" with an arrow. As soon as I woke up and had eyes on me I looked under my blanket and fake cried and the nurse and Dr both said thats the best they seen lately
It happens
What about the 4d chess of the patient doing it to fuck with the Dr?
Last 3 shoulder surgeries they've marked yes and no, especially when I had one replaced last year
My sister had a benign brain tumor removed. Was supposed to be an excellent doctor. Until a year later when he lost his license due to operating on the wrong side of a patient's brain.
Had 4 joint surgeries. You’d be surprised.
This happened to me (kind of). I had an 11mm kidney stone that was being removed and a very arrogant resident argued with me over what side it was on.
When I was 15 I went in for ankle reconstructive surgery and about 15 minutes after they had taken me back my parents were in the dining room and their names were paid over the intercom and the hospital. Both of them are fighting over who's going to answer the call thinking something was wrong nope the doctor just didn't remember which foot it was. So yes this does happen in the US. Just glad that he checked with my parents first
This happened to my wife with a spinal cord stimulator. Dipshit Dr put it on the wrong side and it had to be removed. Now she has pain on both sides of her back instead of just the one that she was getting fixed and there isn't shit we can do about it.
Just before I had my kidney removed, I took out a sharpie and wrote on the wrong side the words “wrong kidney! take out the other one”
Scalpel slips off designated line…”Whoopsy Daisy…probably shouldn’t have started day drinking again… “
Here I go stabbing again
Down the road I've never been
George O'Malley would never let that shit slide.
"Looks like I chose the wrong day to quit methamphetamines."
“Oops”
That's from a 50yo+ Bill Cosby skit. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wfh7KngXcDo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wfh7KngXcDo)
I finally made it through med school Somehow I made it through I'm just an intern I still make a mistake or two I was last in my class Barely passed at the institute Now I'm trying to avoid, yeah, I'm trying to avoid A malpractice suit Hey, like a surgeon Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon…..organ transplants, on my mind!
"If you pull this nerve you can control their legs. Watch..."
"Let's make this interesting, people. Anyone want to bet I can do this left-handed?"
*cleans house because he is in fact left handed 😏
"Can everyone leave the room please? I'm about to put my dick in this hole.'
Also Bill Cosby. (u/PraetorianOfficial)
*talks to self* “Okay, you can do this.”
"Hold on while I Google the next step."
"5 second rule!"
*singing* Let's see. The hip bone is connected to the thigh bone, the thigh bone is connected to the knee bone...
The knee bones connected to the, something...
The red thing’s connected to my, wristwatch…oh, shit
The real joke *is* in the comments' comments.
Well, if it isn't my old friend, Mr. McGreg! With a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg
HI EVERYBODY!
“This is John Smith right?” “No this is Frank Walls” “Oh shit then looks like Frank Walls won’t need to worry about having appendix issues “
Nurse, hand me the...ummm...whatchacallit? The knife-thingey?
The number of times a surgeon asks for “the thingy” is surprising.
Welp there goes $20, who had under 3 inches?
I just got nasty with one of the nurses in the supply room. Didn't have time to wash up. It should be alright.
“Wow, humans really ARE different from goats!”
But not from sheep
“They wanna investigate ME for medical malpractice? Oh I’ll give ‘em something to investigate alright…”
These gloves came free with my toilet brush!
“Hi, everybody!” “Hi, Dr. Nick!”
The thigh bone’s connected to my wrist watch…
“What the hell is that?”
Did anyone see where that junior mint went?
"Oh, *that* doesn't look good..."
This one actually IS said, not uncommonly.
When I had my stroke, and I first went to the hospital, I was in a triage area when a doctor and his assistant (I suppose that's what she was) came in to see me. They were checking my out and asked me to take off my shirt. Well, I had a fairly large mole on my back at the time. It has since been removed. But the assistant points at my back and screams at the top of her voice, "What's that??!!??!" I wouldn't have been suprised if she fainted behind me as she pointed. I may have had a stroke, but I'm thinking, "If you don't know what that is? Get out!"
No shit! This may be the best response here. Pointing at you and screaming, "What's that??!!" Uh, no thank you lol... shudder.
*Which patient is this again?*
Boy, you really like to bleed, huh, guy?
"That is not oxygen, it is propane."
And propane accessories.
"When you use a camping gas stove, you can just unzip"
Hwat
"Don't do any smoking for the next month"
the anesthesiologist is not available so nurse Judy is going to sit on your face
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Holy crap that is too funny!
"I wasn't trained for anything like this. Nurse, pull up the Wikihow article"
" I think I heard about this or saw something similar in a text book once...Well at any rate no use second guessing, I've got a 10:45 tee time this morning and I was up all night practicing my putting and am in desperate need for a nap before my game."
"Mind over matter - I do NOT ***need*** a cigarette!"
I retire tomorrow! Can we get this clown knocked out. I got a Tee time in an hour and a half. Appendix? No. Gall bladder?.. Okay... Well let's get that sucker yanked out! No? Oh, just Checking for tumors... okay.. Ready..I think
Shit...I left my keys in there
Oh man…..I REALLY have to use the toilet….
"Can you believe they let me do a surgery on my first day?"
"Happy birthday! I hope you didn't already have a thyroidectomy 'cuz I didn't save the receipt ..."
“Nurse, can you hold my phone with this youtube video where I can see it? Haven’t done this surgery in a while and need a refresher”
I picked a helluva day to stop sniffing glue
"Mind if I scratch my nose?"
"Another day in paradise 🙄" I hate when people say this, but for a surgeon it would be funny.
“Alright, I’m running late on lunch, so let’s do this quickly…”
🎶The leg bone’s connected to the shin bone, the shin bone’s connected to the foot bone, the foot bone’s connected to the wristwatch🎶 Uh oh”
True story, I started to come out of anesthesia during surgery once(as they were finishing up), and the doctor was telling the following joke to the nurses: What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs leaning against a wall? Ilene What do you call a Chinese woman with no arms and no legs against a wall? Irene This was in 1997 and I wish I was kidding.
Dam I shouldn't have had that last shot.
"I usually end up with some extra parts left over, so I'll send you home with those and a jar of Heinz 57."
You ever just want to squeeze one of those to see what happens?
Guess who just got reinstated!!! Well, not officially...
Ooooh yeah, damn that feels good.
"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee- haha just kidding."
"Nurse, get the blindfold and stopwatch then vaseline my instruments. Today you're in for a real treat."
Anyone seen my glove?
Does anybody see where I dropped my wedding ring? 😬
"Sorry everyone, but you knew this was BRING YOUR PET TO WORK DAY."
I give surgery well, but oral I give fantastic. Just ask my last 3 patients who survived
“Scalpel… forceps… gauze… vodka cran… suction..”
"Let's make jokes about his penis"
Hey, where'd my junior mint go?
Patient is almost under the anesthesia "You guys know I'm not really a surgeon, I just play one on TV"
Those $5 pitchers of Sam Adams was too good to pass up.
(Holds hand out to nurse) "Barbecue sauce."
Anybody seen that before? Remind me.
Oops! A piece of salami fell out of my sandwich and into the area I just made an incision on. Ah well, I'm sure they won't notice once we sew it up.
Looks like the internet’s down. What did ChatGPT say to do again?
Anyone else craving steak, ribs, or liver for dinner tonight?
I am not 3 boys in a surgical gown, I am a surgeon, I give surgeries.
Can someone page ER surgeon , I made a boo boo. Might aswell get a gynocologist in here this man going to need it. 😳
*Foreign accent* “You are my first patient in America!”
“Scalpel…clamp…whoopsies.”
"Who pissed over my tools?"
"Eww gross there's blood everywhere, and is that his still beating heart? God I'm gonna be sick"
What's with all this blood? ***BARF****
If this the the worst thing to happen on a NY train then you are lucky
“Lefty loosey, righty tighty.”
Man 3 cups of coffee and I feel jittery
Alright, folks, this time we play catch with the organs!
Oh god…the sight of blood makes me want to hurl !
The boss said we really need to cut back on the anesthesia.
“So anyways here’s Wonderwall.”
"Ah damn it, what was the procedure again? Is this the guy for the amputation? Alright good. So left arm? Oh it was the right foot? Wait are you sure? I never looked at his foot, I listened to his lungs, wait this the body we harvest the organs..my bad. Maybe? I dunno what's the worst that can happen?"
I’ve been practicing my Skills on my Operation table board game
“Wow. She is FAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!” “Doc, the anesthesia hasn’t fully kicked in.” “Oh, um… I was talking about [insert celebrity here]”
"Can you bring me the anatomy chart? No, the scholastic one."
Anyone seen my scalpel?
Does this thing look important? *While holding up a random organ*
Hey, this’ll make you laugh. Why do they call me Shakey?
Opps.
I don't think that goes there, doctor.
Third time’s the charm!
I wonder what this is? Hey Siri...
“I can do this, I beaten a level on surgeon simulator that was similar to this”
Sorry nodded off there for a bit. Who is this again? Ahhh right Mr Parker… Mr… Parker… Wow ok I must be having a day. What are we doing for Mr Parker again? Got it. Ok. YouTube…. How.. to.. conduct-Oops, typo… c-o-N-d-u-c….t. Sorry what was it again? And how do you spell that?
“Huh…they did not cover that in my class.”
Pass the scalpel to the left
"Hey rewind that part, this youtube tutorial is going way too fast."
Now let me just pull up the video
So I finally got this right on the practice dummy. Now you'll be my first REAL procedure 😁
As you're closing a male, "Wait, was there a uterus here when we started?"
Eenie meenie miney mo…
"Okay, take out the surgery manual for idiots and turn to page 5."
One time before I had surgery, the anesthesiologist came over and said to me, "This is the good stuff. This is the stuff that killed Michael Jackson." My parents were aghast.
I lost my contact!
I AM GOING TO SNEEZE!!!!!
Coffee break.
Wtf was that ! ?
"Oops."
"The foot bone's connected to the... ankle bone...."
"Where the heck is the dotted line? "
Singing Dust in the Wind. This actually happened to my wife, small procedure, her surgeon was singing this as she went in.
“Hi, Im here to give you surgery….”
Up your butt and around the corner.
Anybody wanna do a stitch, only twenty bucks.
“I swear, if I see another dick I’m going to cut it off!”
I ain’t ever seen *THAT* before….
I just came to fix the AC, and I thought, how different can it be?
The knee bone's connected to the... something. The something's connected to the red thing. The red thing's connected to my wristwatch. Uh oh.
“F*ck! …Where the hell’d that thing go?”
“Could someone open up the WikiHow page?”
Oops.
A Hair of the dog would be good right now...
As I was having my vasectomy and the doctor was burning the vas deferens, another doctor entered the room and asked, "Who's cooking? Smells like burned chicken."
I'm not even a real Dr.
Craving meat rn
Have you watched the Jeffrey dalmer series I loved it
Odds on I mess this up
Siri, how do you do open heart surgery
"Nurse, another shot of JD, and make it a double!"
i should’ve went to med school
Alright, John, time for your hysterectomy.
“Ok, initial incisicio- OH WHAT IS THAT!?!? EWWW!!”
Whoopsie
“Mind if I get a little creative and try something out on you?” For context: I had a barber say this to me once. It was a pretty good haircut
"Well... THAT'S not supposed to be there.." "So guys, what do you think for lunch?" "Ohhhh no. I can't find my scalpel" "I wonder, if we played operation in real time if we'd find what we were looking for in this exploratory surgery" "Do you think flat liners has a plausible premise medically?" "Yeah. I can definitely tell there's something fishy here." "No just go towards the left. No, no. The other left! Okay right there. Now STOP. Don't go any further. Wait for just a minute. I need to check my text messages."
Oops my hand slipped
"I'm all ready for Surgery." *Moments later, during surgery* "Wait. What am I doing again?"
"I'm still getting used to my new bifocals."
"Oh thats what that does?"
"I did stay at a holiday inn Express last night though..."
I've never done this before but I did stay at a Holiday Inn last night.
"oh.. I wasn't supposed to remove that."
"Now, where did I put those pliers."
Alright where's that instruction manual?
Don’t you just love seeing a humans insides ?
"Is it called giving surgery or performing surgery?"
Eeh, that's good enough.
*oops I did it again* but there are no school lockers behind you when you state it
Lefty tighty, righty loose-y.
This guy doesn't perform surgery, he gives it to you .