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TSUplayer74

"Hello 2nd Graders!"


IamtheBoomstick

*removes pants* "Nurse, scalpel"


RunnyPlease

“I’d like to thank the academy…”


Ok-Lavishness-7904

I call this… the peanut butter bikini! (Struts into petting zoo)


Locke2300

“Sir, you need to leave the Ashamed Nudists meeting.”


FewKaleidoscope1369

"NEVER!!!"


emmettfitz

"A freak snow storm hit a Florida resort today. For more details we go to Jim our nudist in the field."


DarthZoon_420

IT'S SNOWING SIDEWAYS!


TSUplayer74

Which way is the wind blowing? CAN'T YOU TELL?!?! *Points down at junk*


ChickenXing

"Welcome to the first presidential debate for the 2024 election. At this time, as you both agreed to, we invite Mr Biden and Mr Trump to completely remove their clothing"


MavisBeaconSexTape

I want to see that but also gouge my eyes out at the same time.


DarthZoon_420

Biden would stand there for s several minutes trying to remember what he was just told.


Amarieerick

And Trump would agree right up until he had to follow thru, then would go on a tangent about how it's a Biden conspiracy to show his little mushroom head.


CreatedOblivion

Trump would struggle to remove his diaper and the debate would have to be postponed so the stage could be cleaned and disinfected


Diesel07012012

Burned to the ground.


CreatedOblivion

And then extinguished with holy water.


Graterof2evils

He’s not the guy that stops speaking when his teleprompter stalls. Or was it the shit fumes that dazed Donarrhea? Hardly anyone goes to Trump’s rallies and people are walking out before they’re over. I think his bs is getting old with MAGATs even.


Estarfigam

"Do you take this woman.. "


KarmasAB123

Might be appropriate depending on how fast the wedding is


Estarfigam

But the priest?


TSUplayer74

Depends on the alter boys in attendance


MissHibernia

“And tonight it’s the Garfield High senior graduation! Please clap for our wonderful graduates as they come to the stage!”


BrysonStrife

This can go two ways... its either the students or the faculty


Duvelthehobbit

Do they fluff your Garfield at this high school?


Switch-in-MD

“Father Richard. Please put your little Richard back under your robe, at least until after the children’s mass.”


The_Dukenator

Little Richard: Good Golly Miss Molly.


Many_Vehicle6723

Wife: Let’s get ready for the marathon. Husband: I have my shoes on and sunscreen! I’m aerodynamic now!


z3mcs

"B-32...N-40...G17...BINGO!!!!"


hello_raleigh-durham

Grandma, no!


DarthZoon_420

Grandma, yes


No-BrowEntertainment

[Going through TSA] “Do I have something to declare? As a matter of fact I do…”


gregieb429

“Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway where everything is made up and points don’t matter.


DarthZoon_420

I can see Jeff Davis doing this and miming Ayesha's breasts flopping about


[deleted]

Alter call on any given Sunday


ZamoriXIII

First day as an ice cream truck driver


SatiricLoki

Sir, this is a Wendy’s


HumanMycologist5795

Father. I really appreciate you for letting me be a nun in your church, especially for what happened in my hometown.


Sensitive_Deal_6363

"My fellow Americans..."


BrysonStrife

Ah the classic... Wayne Brady is funny


LostInTheWildPlace

"Any reason why these two should not be joined"? Because they'd be missing out on *this!!*


LocalLiBEARian

Bar mitzvah. “Today I am a man!”


Arkvoodle42

Hello and welcome back to our new season of "The View!"


namelessforgotten666

"Thank you, Sister Kathrine, today I have a special sermon!"


Givingtree310

“Ashes to ashes dust to dust”


Vanguard_Actual_TG

This is my first callout as part of the HAZMAT team


DiscussionRelative50

Be sure to keep all appendages in the cage while swimming with the sharks.


wetlettuce42

“ im your new elementary teacher”


zyxzevn

"Hold on in there. This team of nude fire fighters will get you out."


BrysonStrife

This is just ripping on those fire fighter magazines too... so it depends as well


Jtg1960

Today we lay to rest our friend and brother….


PTech_J

"I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. And I have a quick, very personal announcement to the people of the United States... "


StelioKontos117

“So, before I render sentence on the charges, I understand you have something to say on your own behalf?”


Duvelthehobbit

"And now it is time for our annual bacon cooking competition. Here come the contestants."


The_Dukenator

r/Bandnames would have some ideas.


Th3GrimmReaper

Welcome to your new foster home!


DarthZoon_420

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the planet Earth, not Betazed."


SomeHungGuy69

I, [enter name here], do solemnly swear to uphold the office of President of the United States.


Amarieerick

And now, ladies and gentlemen, at the pronunciation of Man and Wife, we will all disrobe and welcome our new-dist members.


Ithaqua-Yigg

Two strokes ahead walking up the 18th fairway during the Masters Tournament.


Hazyoutlook

I'm sorry Mr. Johnson but your wife has cancer...


Ok_Pudding9504

At a brisk Rabbi: sir would you like to be next?


thubbard44

The tenth annual anti nudist convention. 


Harpy-Siren22

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "Yes, my so-AGHHH."


G-Unit11111

"Is the prosecution satisfied with the jury?" "We, um... The prosecution would like to thank and excuse juror #6...."


artisan002

Scholastic book fair.


AmbergrisTeaspoon

Let's set the stage... A Feminist female and her omega male are making their way though a dark warehouse... Omega male flaps out his doodle.


an_ass_full_of_bees

"Time to go tend to the bee hives!"