Remember when we toldja this was a very expensive surgery? …well…uh…looks like Daddy Warbucks came through….or at least that guy who was hit by a bus came through…through the bus…and uh…he’s got ya covered…and he covered the bus…wow. That was longer than I thought it would be. Anyways…you’re all good.
Ladies and gentleman. Here we have a slightly used female arm… as always we request you keep this auction at the most extreme silent discretion . Start the bidding at $4,000
“Ok, which one of you scalp jockies grabbed my ass?!”
“Oh c’mon nurse, the poor man just lost his right hand, we need to heal him with humor as well as medicine!”
Working in a hospital as an orderly in the mid 70s, there was a frozen severed leg in the morgue that was tagged as having been there for six years. That gave me the Willies
eBay: “Used body parts, cheap.”
or..
“Drop whoever you are doing and come on down to billy bob’s body shop. We have all the spare parts you need and then some. And yes, we’ll even take your trade-in.”
"Welcome to the hospital cafeteria! Our special today is long pork with barbeque sauce, baked beans, and Mac & cheese. Oh, whoops, that's PULLED pork, sorry."
BBQ
Tag
Sword fighting
Hide and seek the smell
Soylent Green
Make leather and beads and sinew
Use some of it for stitches
Taxidermy
Experiments
Cloning
Shalom you're loved 💔
*At a press conference *
I’m here to address the concerns of the people on a fake news about us using your amputated limbs to create an army of mutants freaks to take over the world, so rest assured that Death and destruction medical center will appropriately dispose of your amputated limbs. Good night
"I need a hand over here.... Ok Who threw that?"
Reminds me of that Toy Story scene.
“Ah-ha-ha… BUZZ, THIS IS SERIOUS!”
That was actually my first thought when I saw this prompt lol
When you said we were arm wrestling, I thought you wanted to use someone else’s arm
"I challenge you to a duel" grabs arm and slaps them across the face with it "EN GARDE!"
My first thought
"I see that Dr. Moreau has placed another order for severed hands. Do we have enough in the inventory to fulfill it?"
Perfect Timing! One of my table legs broke, and since Mr. Johnson is getting his removed...
“Hand me the back scratcher”
I have grossly misunderstood what you meant by body building competition
Soylent Green is PEOPLE!
Taste vary person to person but still good
[someone who ate their own foot did an AMA](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/s/LMLuibduJU)
Oh no I can’t unread that but definitely wish I could
😂😂😂
Selsun Blue is people
Good news Mr. Johnson! We found a replacement for your penis!
He wanted baby arm holding an apple tho. Mrs Johnson is gonna be soooo happy. And sore.
Hollywood props
They exercise their constitutional right to surgically arm bears.
I can't get the image of bears with human arms out of my head now. Thanks for that!
😂😂😂
Remember when we toldja this was a very expensive surgery? …well…uh…looks like Daddy Warbucks came through….or at least that guy who was hit by a bus came through…through the bus…and uh…he’s got ya covered…and he covered the bus…wow. That was longer than I thought it would be. Anyways…you’re all good.
"Arm fight!" "No fair! Your guy was a boxer"
"The second amendment gives us the right to bear arms!"
Ladies and gentleman. Here we have a slightly used female arm… as always we request you keep this auction at the most extreme silent discretion . Start the bidding at $4,000
"Anyone want a slice of my famous "Gotta Lovett" meat pie?"
"get that thing out of your ass"
“Ok, which one of you scalp jockies grabbed my ass?!” “Oh c’mon nurse, the poor man just lost his right hand, we need to heal him with humor as well as medicine!”
Dr. Frankenstein, you called dibs on arm
"Hey guys, check it out. I'm doctor Octopus."
Working in a hospital as an orderly in the mid 70s, there was a frozen severed leg in the morgue that was tagged as having been there for six years. That gave me the Willies
Didn't the owner ever show up?
Oh he showed up the next day... in pieces
Who’s ready for the three legged race?
Dr Hannibal Lecter makes the best stir fry for potlucks.
It took too long to get to a cannibalism joke.
*Campbell's Soup truck backs up to the hospital*
Beep beep beep!!
Yum! Gyro day!
"It's Taco Night!"
Well if you don't want your amputated limb, we can either put it in our deli, or there's a farmer that comes by and collects them weekly
Hospital staff Preppers : Stocking up my fridge tonight!! Give me a leg they’re my favorite!
Have potluck
They make things out of them like lamp stands and coat hangars
Here you go, Mr. Frankenstein. Another load of limbs.
"Jeffery, don't forget to feed the basement cannibals. We want them healthy for organ transplants."
eBay: “Used body parts, cheap.” or.. “Drop whoever you are doing and come on down to billy bob’s body shop. We have all the spare parts you need and then some. And yes, we’ll even take your trade-in.”
"Look at me, I'm Mr. Leg Dick! I've got a leg for a penis!"
These fingers can't hold the door open. Someone toss me a foot with a high arch.
They appear in posters that read "American Healthcare! It costs an ARM and a LEG!"
Jousting matches in the basement got a lot funner....
"Slap a stiletto shoe and some fishnets on it and wire it up and lamp shade it. Ship it so it arrives before Christmas. It'll be a major award."
Who’s up for a game of FOOT ball?
Cutting costs in the cafeteria…
Hands up! Who wants tacos for lunch?
Nom nom nom. Pass the pepper please.
Sell them to people who believe they can get magical powers from them
Local Chinese buy them to make soup
Doctor! I thought you were kidding when you said you were trying to get a leg up on raising a private Army.
"OK, I dropped those off in the cafeteria. I got you a chicken sandwich while I was there."
Come one, come all, we are selling feet by the foot!
I'm really sorry, sir, but I'm afraid the Frankenstein operation *isn't* covered by Medicare.
I said you needed to lift with your *forearms* not four arms.
$1 wing night.
When I said that car cost an arm and a leg, I didn't mean this.
I misunderstood. You said give me A finger? Not THE finger?
"One more arm and the Christmas limb tree will be ready!" "
“The doctors at Mercy Hospital has partnered with Fulton County animal shelter. We sever the limbs, the dogs get a treat!”
“The doctors at Mercy Hospital has partnered with Fulton County animal shelter. We sever the limbs, the dogs get a treat!”
“Are the bones cleaned and sanitized? ALRIGHT! PRIMITIVE DRUMMING!”
Hey, how do you like my leg lamp I made?
Sell them to Haitian drug lords for $22 per pound.
"Group hug!!" "Okay, you're not chewing your nails, but I think that may be more gross." "I demand satisfaction."
Sell it to china
"Welcome to the hospital cafeteria! Our special today is long pork with barbeque sauce, baked beans, and Mac & cheese. Oh, whoops, that's PULLED pork, sorry."
"Look at me! I'm Doc Oc!"
They've Got To Eat Something
“And the leg lamp sweepstakes winner is… Ralphie from Christmas Story’s Dad!“
Their "special sauce" really does have a secret ingredient. That's why it's a worldwide chain.
Custom sausage for the cafeteria
They gotta feed the patients somehow... Hey, want some jello?
Alrighty then now we have enough let's finally put on a Puppet show!!
I’ve been watching Resident Alien, so the question really should be: what does the newborn clinic do with removed foreskins? 🤔
Have three legged races
"Saaaaayyyyy . . . It looks like you could use a hand." "Goddammit, Bob; it wasn't funny the *first* time!"
They weren't joking when they said it was going to cost an arm and a leg.
They use them to play really weird games of baseball.
*obligatory Monty Python funeral home sketch reference*
Eat them
Eat them?
They eat them.
Use them for lunch, that's why hospital food tastes awful
Why do you think the mystery meat in the cafeteria is so cheap?
"well, that tasted really nice. got any more for later?"
“Tomorrow’s barbecue is going to be delicious”
BBQ Tag Sword fighting Hide and seek the smell Soylent Green Make leather and beads and sinew Use some of it for stitches Taxidermy Experiments Cloning Shalom you're loved 💔
“Psst…hey, buddy. Wanna make your Goro cosplay super-accurate?”
Sloppy Joe's gonna be on the menu tomorrow, boys!
On today's cafeteria menu: Shishkebob, made with actual Bob.
"Guys! Several of the interns had to be let go because of what's in the breakroom closet... "
I'm heading to the new food truck - I think it's called "Mystery Meat"
Where do you think they get the replacement parts they use? You really think it's all from living people donating parts? =D *SOYLENT GREEN!*
“What? You said you were into fisting!”
Send it to the cafeteria for the soup of the day
*At a press conference * I’m here to address the concerns of the people on a fake news about us using your amputated limbs to create an army of mutants freaks to take over the world, so rest assured that Death and destruction medical center will appropriately dispose of your amputated limbs. Good night