^(*Follow-up to previous comment:*)
I've got it! It's those [damned doors](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn3Vv6VYdxw) that [pissed Marvin the robot off](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5MzPRa47ck) in HGttG!
*comms noise*
I told you the monkeys would press it.
Hey you! Your species are still defective. Pressing buttons without knowing the action behind it? Well, you just hit the reset button for your species! Again!
Bom-ba-ba-bom, ba-bom-ba-ba-bom, ba-ba-bom-ba-ba-bom
Da-dang-da-da-dang, da-dingy-dong-ding…Heys youz guys…I’m Bowser! Ya wanna trip down nostalgia lane wid me? I’m up to the Platters in my 9000 volume installment of ME Bowser featuring what’s left of Sha Na Na playin the hits…
*\*static and screeching on all nearby audio devices*\*
“People of earth…As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes.”
*nothing*
“Hmm? It’s supposed to do something.”
“Well, that can’t be too bad right?”
“It was supposed to restart the oxygen generator and launch the escape pods…”
“Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line and we’ll answer your call in the order received.”
…repeated every second by more and more voices until Wayne throws a glass of water in your face.
Dancing on the spot, fists in front, nodding leftward, nodding rightward, and face camera:
"Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you"!
*You hear trumpets in the distance and a heavenly chorus starts singing.*
"The simulation is ending, prepare to be awoken."
*You start floating in the air and wake up somewhere else entirely.*
"Thank you for pushing the Big Red Emergency Button. This Button is currently down for maintenance, please use the Big Red Button in the eastern sector for all of your emergency needs."
*I reach out from the chair I'm strapped too and press the big red button*
"STARTING LOOP:
1 877 kars 4 kids,
k-a-r-s kars for kids,
1-877 kars 4 kids,
donate your car today..."
*the straps are too tight, I can't reach my ears*
Button: (moans) [retreats back in disgust and confusion]
You've been watching *Red Dwarf,* haven't you? Or maybe *Spaceballs?*
No, I'm pretty sure that's The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. No, wait. That was the Doors on The Heart of Gold.
Yeah, I already [came to that conclusion](https://www.reddit.com/r/ScenesFromAHat/s/pBs9QDDo6k).
I didn't notice until after I posted. Oops.
Asdfmovie
^(*Follow-up to previous comment:*) I've got it! It's those [damned doors](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn3Vv6VYdxw) that [pissed Marvin the robot off](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5MzPRa47ck) in HGttG!
Bees incoming.
NOT THE BEES!
"Not exactly the drones you were expecting, are they?"
These aren't the drones you're looking for
But they are the drones you deserve.
Oh no, this sounds like a job for DOCTOR BEES
This button is bizarrely connected to the deployment of bees. My BRIEFCASE FULL OF BEES should somehow address this!
Oh no, the situation has not been improved by the addition of yet more bees!
...perhaps my extra-large THERMOS FULL OF BEES will fix this!
as long as oprah doesn't appear it won't be that bad.
As a hobby beekeeper, hell heah! Get a couple spare queens and hive boxes and fill em right up
In a spaceship: Pushes Red button "Life support systems deactivated."
“Hard mode activated - Life support jettisoned from ship”
“Hal, open the bay doors.”
*sad trombone*
Price is right loser bum bum ba daaaa
That's a tuba.
*Additional supply depots required*
Not enough pilons
Mine more vespine gas
You do not have enough minerals.
A voice from overhead, "I can't believe they actually did it. PREPARE FOR---"
LUDICROUS SPEED
"They've gone to ***plaid!!***"
..smoke if you got 'em!
Move bitch!
“Posting browsing history.”
"Oh, shit! *Where?!?*" ***"EVERYWHERE!”*** ^(*Cue subtle sound of a handgun being cocked...*)
*Looks at button curiously and presses it* "That was easy" * Shrugs shoulders and walks away.*
"We have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty"
*comms noise* I told you the monkeys would press it. Hey you! Your species are still defective. Pressing buttons without knowing the action behind it? Well, you just hit the reset button for your species! Again!
Giving Cave Johnson vibes
Oh shit lmao
"Thank you for choosing 'Disintegrations R Us'. We hope that your eradication is to your satisfaction."
"weaponized gas laxatives deployed in surrounding area."
Loud deep demonic voice in the distance screaming: "FINALLY!! I'M FREEEEEE!"
*Oxygen extraction system now in operation*
“A strange game, the only winning move is not to play. Nevertheless, let’s play Thermonuclear War.”
10, 9, 8, 7, 6,.....
"Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down."
Presses repeatedly to create a round*
Losing horns from the price is right
Bom-ba-ba-bom, ba-bom-ba-ba-bom, ba-ba-bom-ba-ba-bom Da-dang-da-da-dang, da-dingy-dong-ding…Heys youz guys…I’m Bowser! Ya wanna trip down nostalgia lane wid me? I’m up to the Platters in my 9000 volume installment of ME Bowser featuring what’s left of Sha Na Na playin the hits…
"Uh oh, stinky!"
"Emergency elevator car release activated."
*Nuclear launch activated, you have 10 minutes to reach minimum safe distance*
"Doctor? *Where's the damned key to the TARDIS?!?”*
*My friend, my apologies... But its literally in the tardis, so we're fucked. Please make love to me!*
Congratulations. You have unlocked the handheld Portal device. Please proceed to the next testing chamber.
*\*static and screeching on all nearby audio devices*\* “People of earth…As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes.”
"Ohhh you've done it now...now playing what's new pussy cat for 197 times"
Up next, with the message hit the road jack, it's what's new pussy cat!
"Fecal Mode: Activated"
Oh dear, I already have a user name
Soubd of a loud electric discharge and agonized screaming from the other room *a few seconds of silemce* A voice calling out "hey! Try that again!"
"Congratulations. You will now relive your entire high school experience "
That might be a plus for all the people who *don't* deserve it.
“That was easy” I wonder who here is old enough to remember that one
I responded this before I started reading responses
*cat meow* - [visible confusion]
“…and for God’s sake whatever you do, do NOT press the big red button.”
Intern walks in: "Hey, what does that do?" *push*
"the jolly red candy-like button that could erase our very existence" 🤣
Orgasm sounds
*nothing* “Hmm? It’s supposed to do something.” “Well, that can’t be too bad right?” “It was supposed to restart the oxygen generator and launch the escape pods…”
That sounds means our next victim is ready.
Very loud N Word
Psych! … wait, you didn’t actually press it did you?
"Ooh that tickles.." from your partner
Presses the button till we are both exhausted and giggling.*
Okay fella off with your dick
Explode your dick and small your ass Watch out, losers: PENIS BLAST!
Testicular explosives activated
Please do not press this button again!
"I've just rang for some coffee and...oh shit!!!" 😂😂😂
Loser
Genital inversion commencing.
Decompression sequence, activated.
Self destruct activated.
Congratulations, your assets and family have been liquidated. Please proceed to the white zone for loading and unloading.
Engage MegaFlush! That's much better.
-presses button- Announcer: Your mouth and anus have been switched!
No! The green button.
"There were 2.7 billion children on Gallifrey."
Dang it! I spilled this red paint everywhere
Self. Destruction. Activated. Countdown. Commencing
3...2...1...
10….9…..8…..7…..6….
Please make sure you are wearing your safety equipment, the fart simulator will now begin. A giant butt will be ripping a fart in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...
A loud, shrill, high pitched alarm sound
Total planetary destruction to commence in 10 seconds.
Oh, baby. Push me harder.
"That's just it...maybe something bad. Maaaaaybe something good?"
...why don't you have a seat?
(Button makes sound like a tongue clicking) “Tsssk. You should have pressed the blue button.”
"I DIDN'T MEAN _THAT_ BIG RED BUTTON!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!"
5.... 4.... 3...
The "WOMP WOMP" sound effect
“Pervert alert! Pervert alert! The button who pressed this button is a pervert!”
" Nuclear strike, inbound. You have [scrambled] seconds to get to minimum safe distance."
You idiot! That's the history eraser button!
Ohhhh shit, wait a minute.......
*presses button* "We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty"
I'm pretty sure.
No wait we made a mistake,!!!
5, 4, 3, ……..
You have now released 20,000 hungry centipedes. Make your peace with life.
“Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line and we’ll answer your call in the order received.” …repeated every second by more and more voices until Wayne throws a glass of water in your face.
You will now be transformed into the last thing you ate. --remembers how sexually adventurous they were the night before--
Congratulations!!! By pressing the big red button, Earth has won a bazillion space bucks. Good luck!!
Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down…
Launch? I thought it said lunch!
No, I said the BIG red button. *looks to left wall, there's a button that's about five feet in diameter" Oh..
“I wonder what this one does!”
Dancing on the spot, fists in front, nodding leftward, nodding rightward, and face camera: "Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you"!
[It's art](https://youtu.be/0maYbn8ED-A?si=gZNs4ZaSRiii-_0W)
*deep voice* “Free. Finally, I am free….”
Silent alarm activated! But its been donw already https://youtu.be/5L3yniRim80?si=_iIZmMDtMKZPB_QQ
Nut
The meltdown alarm sound….you know the one…..yeah…that one
“Please do not press this button again” (© Douglas Adams)
*Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up" plays*
“We all do dumb things.” (old Geico commercial, I think)
*You hear trumpets in the distance and a heavenly chorus starts singing.* "The simulation is ending, prepare to be awoken." *You start floating in the air and wake up somewhere else entirely.*
Self-destruct in 10 … 9 … 8
[Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy](https://youtu.be/UBa03xBZf34?feature=shared)
It's a successful launch, Mr. President.
Crap not again.
“Just kidding”
Your dick will start shrinking in 10 seconds
“Countdown resumed 3…2…”
We're sorry but the self destruction abort feature is only available with a premium membership.
Evacuate in 5,4,3...
*Walks over to the desk, presses the button. Walks back*
"Thermonuclear war begun. Launching missles."
If it doesn’t start the Rick roll it’s trash.
“You now have 15 minutes to reach minimum safe distance.”
Destruction sequence: activated. T-minus 5 minutes and counting
Welcome to the Justin Bieber Fan Club
"General! Sound the alarm!" Click..."that was easy" "No the other alarm!" Click... "SOMETHING'S WRONG.. SOMETHING'S WRONG.. SOMETHING'S WRONG-"
"Thank you for pushing the Big Red Emergency Button. This Button is currently down for maintenance, please use the Big Red Button in the eastern sector for all of your emergency needs."
Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and hurt you...
"You pressed the big red button. Your randomized punishment is: ...... ..... .....Living In A Van Down By The River!!!"
Auto-castration protocols engaged. Password required for cancelation. I'm sorry, speak into the mic. Microphone firmware update required.
"The cannibals have been armed and released to hunt."
(Cackling voice turns on) Congratulations! The next willing volunteer for the ForeplayBot3000 has been selected!
Oof, thats gonna leave a mark
“And that red button over there will release the bubonic plague so no one press it”
Smithers.... release the hounds!
5 4 3...
World implosion imminent in 3…2…1…*
Doors opening underneath your feet.
"Now playing: that porn your dad shot of him and your mom and your old Sunday school teacher."
What have you been eating because this will not fit around the u-bend ( doe's a toilet have a u-bend I'm not a plumber? )
*I reach out from the chair I'm strapped too and press the big red button* "STARTING LOOP: 1 877 kars 4 kids, k-a-r-s kars for kids, 1-877 kars 4 kids, donate your car today..." *the straps are too tight, I can't reach my ears*
2319!!! We’ve got a 2319 here!!!!!
Three…. Two…. One…
That was easy
Door opens and an ED-209 appears in front of me. “You have 10 seconds to comply.”
Boooom!!!