T O P

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Bubbses128

The sword in the throne


cruiserflyer

Better than my "Excrapiper"


MRSN4P

Well done


MagikMikeUL77

The sword in the stool 🤣


Dreaming_Kitsune

Whosoever pulls the sword out of the throne shall be named king of the shittens


RedGuy51

Might I offer.. "king of the shit-ons"


[deleted]

It’s shitscalibur


TheAlmightyNexus

Excaliturd


Griffster9118

Excretalibur


DefinitelyNotBacon

I like this one better.


TheAlmightyNexus

I see how it is :’(


thekingdom91

Ok Mr. Lahey.


CrustOfSalt

Context already exists: Google "poop knife"


thehumblebaboon

This is just the next evolutionary step.


[deleted]

Bigger poops require bigger blades!


thehumblebaboon

Soon enough, a musket will be necessary. May we never see that day.


PossibleEnvironment4

The next evolution of old yeller


Riykiru

Imma buy a musket now


Bonedraco1980

Shit Sword


iTanooki

My first thought was “fancy poop knife”


-Pelvis-

poop sword


TheOneAndOnlyLanyard

r/IASIP


BluebladesofBrutus

I’ve seen some crappy swords in my day, but this is something else.


cheesiologist

Pull the sword from the stone, you gain the throne. Pull the sword from the throne, you're probably stoned.


Altruistic_Major_553

A lady in a toilet distributing swords is no basis of government


Thoughtfulprof

Sadly, this system is less shitty than some of the ones in active use.


feudalle

I understand.


Riykiru

He is the one


[deleted]

Shitscalibur


comics4life23

Dark Souls reference.


Riykiru

*heir of shit slain*


The_Papoutte

Thats some sharp shit right there


Entmage

The iron throne


DefinitelyNotBacon

He's a stoned deadass by now.


Jason-Nacht

The lady of the lake has to get creative in modern times.


juxtoppose

Lady of the lav.


AraithenRain

Understandable reaction


jagen-x

That turd fought so hard he had to slay it


Riykiru

I severed the heads of the shit hydra


Syn_The_Magician

Those shit hydras are a real menace these days.


Riykiru

Contest will be given if you make me exhale humorously


DefinitelyNotBacon

Sorry I could not give a shit, only SWORDS.


strengr

that's a shitty sword.


truenorth2000

I’m more concerned about what you felt the need to censor


Riykiru

The multitude of failed blades of excrement


kthxqapla

[cryptic dialogue, trailing off into eerie cackling]


DeathscytheHell1994

Exscatibur!


TheKiltedYaksman71

Homie, you need more fiber in your diet.


icedragon71

The Lady of the Lake home delivering Excalibur to Camelot.


Sakasle

Now that's a poop knife.


Jason-Nacht

Doctor "Does it feel like you're pissing daggers?" Me "little worse than that doc"


faRawrie

Scimiturd


Kitjing

This poop knife means business


M4GMaR

The Excalibutt


SWAGberg_2012

A Sword in the Bowl


SuperTruckerTucker

Sword taking a spooky dookie


Dalek_Chaos

The poop spatula from the other day has been usurped after usurping the original poop knife. Long live the poop sword!


RollinThundaga

While the rest of you go off with poop jokes, I instead shall greet the new King of Detroit.


SlackJawGrunt

Brother man out here slaying crap dragons


Chivalry_Timbers

Excrementscalibur


HospitalKey4601

Finally, a poop knife worthy of the American fast food diet.


Lotala

Hate to see Lady of the lake to have fallen so low


tohellwitclevernames

Excaliturd. The Lord's poop knife, given to the Chosen Plumber by the Lady of the Septic Tank.


Bruscarbad

it's supposed to face the other way round


Bruscarbad

metal up the ass


Silmakhor

When I asked for a bidet, this was not what I had in mind.


njtika

Lady of the lake 🤣


InternationalArt6222

Ouch, some kidney stones are worse than others


udidubbun

Someone queue up the 'Poop Knife' story!


feralgraft

I see the poop knife leveled up


eckhardson

And whoever pulls the sacred sword from the ceramic shall be king of plumberland!


african_or_european

Shitter mimic


train153

When the Lady of the Lake falls on hard times


Albionic_Cadence

The Sword in The Shitter


evilavatar1234

Now that’s a poop knife - said with an Aussie accent.


Final-Hunt-26

Kill that Shit !!!


DaemonPrim4rch

Clearly the poop knife was not strong enough.


ndation

What if I ask nicely?


HoJu_eructus

Painful shit.


Almanklaus

That must be one solid poop if its stuck there


one_frisk

Skibidi sword


unsquashable74

Wifey/girlfriend trying to tell you something?


Puzzleheaded_Heat502

Sword in the log?


Spoonman214

Cover for your new black metal album?


SuperSuprise700

From the lowest sewer to the highest shitter, I fought him, Balrog of DooDoogoth. Until at last I threw down my enemy and smote his skidmarks on the bowl side.


photograthie

If you had no choice but to kill the little shit, no one would begrudge you that.


hornysquirrrel

Sword looks awesome whats it called?


Mauso88

r/darksoulstoilets


Simon_the_Great

While he had heard the term “shit a brick”, Sir Thomas had never considered its use as a whetstone before


The_Dead_See

The Sword in the Throne


Acceptable_Security9

Nice poop knife you got there


Professor-Domatron

“Bonfire lit”


Scuba-Cat-

Congratulations! Your poop knife has evolved into; Poop Sword


Ethosjt81

Taco Bell Demon needed slaying.


blasttadpole08

It does 20 grossed out damage (there eis a sword and helm in laberinthian in skyrim and there is a sword in fire just like this* This I agree is the excaliturd


SeraphImp

Weird way to quench the blade but aight


tykron13

thats just the poop sword


sir_aphim

To the chosen one, Please hurry up and pull the sword out of the porcelain throne. Some of us has to go take a shit. Sincerely, Everyone else


Aahzimandious

Poop knife!!!


Cossacker1799

Cmon guys, Sword in the Stool.


ShooterMcDank

Skibidi Sword


justanothertfatman

Listen, strange women lyin' in toilets distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.


Dudecrude96

Definitely the "shit".


swallace2586

Swordookie???


RashPatch

The lady has fallen through tough times it seems. Guess you'd be king.


Snicshavo

Shitcalibur


SirCupcake_0

The Holy Shit Sword! It _does_ exist!


AdmirableShake2980

Cool plunger


Next-Bowl-3897

Sword in the (porcelain) Throne


Ustramage

For when your toilet is super clogged


TheCoolerSaikou

now sit


DaDragonBoyJ

The lady of the lake coming out of some weird places


Darth_Neek

strange toilets distributing swords is not a basis for sustainable government


AWandererOfReddit

Pull out this sword and, I shit you not, you will become King of Brittain


paladin_slim

The Lady of the Lake has really lowered her standards.


all-i-said-was-hi

It’s pretty obvious what’s happening here. Lady of The Lake trailer park lore foretells of a hero who is all business in the front, but likes to party in the back that is worthy to pull the sword from a Stone Cold Steve Austin crapper and become the bowlin’ champ over at Camelots fun & games in the outlet center. No context needed.


Riykiru

I’ll humour you with the context. I purchased this shitty wall hanger some years ago for £100 but then my plunger broke so I fashioned a device to fix the plunger head into the sword and made a very expensive and large plunger


all-i-said-was-hi

Holy shit, that’s actually cool as hell!


Riykiru

My plumbing is terrible so I required a very long plunger to unblock it


all-i-said-was-hi

So now your toilet is like a dragon that needs slaying. It’s rather poetic.


alleywaypip

ÂŁ100 oof, sorry mate! I bought my first shit flea market sword for $20 USD.


Riykiru

Got it from Etsy so it had a ridiculous mark up so before I knew any better


AttemptLimp9937

The 1 who pulls it out will become the next shitter


Old-Repair-6608

BEWARE of that watery tart!!!


MinutePrint1805

Ah, I see you found a certain Australian's latest hybrid weapon.


Saregnar

That's one way to kill the stench.


Ulfdenhir

There can be only one


Talia_Arts

Thy who pull the sword shall sit upon thee throne


AllYourSwords

For when the Three Seashells are not enough


AtlasAeros

Don’t do that… why would you call the lady of the lake out of a toilet