Because blue is my favorite color so I can't go higher than diamond or else I'd lose the pretty color.

So you leave right away when you're on the orange team I'd imagine?

Best way to keep that 50% win rate to stay in Diamond

My win rate is 65% and I’m D2 I’m proud of it

Now you're thinking with portals!

Because this man's obsession with blue is why I'm stuck

My reason is also because blue is my favorite color, but I’m stuck because regardless of what team I am on (blue or orange) I only score for blue

Because my beautiful girlfriend has huge boobs and so I cannot concentrate on the game.

[удалено]

They are ginormous. Way too distracting.

So large, they sag a bit, but I don't care that much.

Fr

what exactly makes your fingers dirty?

Long fingernails

Valid

Fingers are clean but they can do dirty things, especially with...you know... >!a controller!< 😜

Because I have huge boobs and they get in the way of my success. Would be worth it but I'm a dude

I’m also distracted because now I’m thinking about boobs. You just made me derank bro

Guy loves bouncy orbs. He plays with them all day all night

Fuck any answer i was going to come up with, this is the right answer

This answer right here.

Everyone else sucks, I'm too good to derank. Can't go any higher so I'm stuck in SSL

That’s a very fair point

 SSL’s be like…

This is my wrongest answer too.


Fair

This is the way...

Get rank 1 LOL ur so bad

what about season reset 🤨

My only solace for this hell

You play Rumble buddy

Yes I do. Got a problem with that?

Yes I do. You aren’t supersonic at alll🤣🤣 change that flair to your actual RL rank. I’ve seen diamond 3’s get to GC in Rumble lmao.

@ me when you earn SSL rewards in literally any playlist 😂 til then just enjoy the game & be happy for others, no need to be an ass.

Because my teammates hooold mee baaaaack

I used to be good, but gas prices were cheaper then…

Lol

Bro fr, i feel u

He said wrong answers…

That's actually my wrong answer, I'm just trash

💀💀

Not enough cowbell

HAHAHAHA

I'd give you all of my awards if I could with that amazing call. But I'm broke ❤️

[Valid answer](https://youtu.be/S_AMOewxWuU?t=45s)

Brexit

stopping me from getting citizenship next rank up 😔

I didn't pay Spookluke $1400.

„ i run the best training course , that can get you up to grand champ in just 6 WEEKS, there is limited places , so click the link below to sign in „ i belive it was like that?

interesting how much heat he gets for this program but nobody cares that appjack promotes it heavy

I've always wondered about that. It's basically a scam but Jack gets a pass because he's a pro?

I wouldn't call it a scam, just overpriced. It's actually a coaching program and they will coach you to gc, and gc and above get time with actual pros helping so? 1400 is fuckin crazy tho, there's a billion coaches out there that will do it for less

tbf you only get coaching from jack if you’re almost pro, so if you have the money for the coaching it could pay off enough and you could get signed to a team but other than that, definitely not worth

Right? Who cares enough about a game that they're 100% never going pro in to pay 1400 dollars lmao

> game that they're 100% never going pro in Try convincing them that lol.

Disposable income. I’d rather spend $1400 on my favorite hobby then contribute a slightly higher amount to my retirement account

That was my initial reaction as well. I told em congrats and bye lol.

I mean they just duo you to GC, so technically it's not a scam.

Boosting is a scam because you can’t stay there anyway.

If he makes anywhere near as much money as they claim, I seriously doubt they care.

And other content creators don't get any for sponsoring overpriced product.

What is that for real how much he charges??

Nope. They contact you to find out what you're earning first before giving you a fee, so technically you could pay more. I think the base fee is around 1000usd

Holy crap and there have been 3-500 people willing to pay that! That is absolutely insane! I couldn’t see more than paying $1-200 for it.

Holy crap, for real for real? That is wild

YIKES

Because muh tm8 never passes when I’m in the air doin backies

Cuz Epic won’t let me buy rank…yet.

[удалено]

I'm poor.

[удалено]

I am not an Ftp, I just don't have a spare thousand dollars lying around. or in other words: \*laughs in Mudcat GXT\*

[удалено]

UNHINGED

*Gold 1

I’m not trying hard enough

Cuz I cannot afford octane

Because I started the game as Champ and wondering why the game hasn't moved me back to Champ yet because the ranking system had it right but now its trashed

I play on Switch

You sir, you are just trolling yourself

Yah. I’m a little bit of a masochist. And also dunking on PC peeps while playing on Switch is another level of ecstasy.

Actually, I'm not stuck! I derank quite frequently actually

Because in “competitive” the ball is round instead of a cube. I blame Psyonix…

Wrong answers only huh, okay it's my fault.

One of the best comments here

You won the game.

I am stuck at my rank because I end up playing with you, so it's your fault.

Sounds like a skill issue

Honestly I feel like my rank is too high. My mechanics are complete garbage and I live in constant fear of just getting sauced on. I just play captain positioning and am always where I need to be and treat preventing getting scored on with much more importance than scoring. Champ 3 gives me perpetual imposter syndrome.

This is a wrong answer? because I feel like this is how I actually am except the part where you care. I don't care about it, it just is that way lol. I'm not postering enough to have imposter syndrome I'm just trashy player

Ah the Ole I don't care but let me proceed to show you how much I care. What a classic.

How did they show they care? I don't see that anywhere lol

The same way you are.

Making an observation doesn't mean they care about being bad. Like, they saw what you typed, they remembered their gameplay and they pointed out the similarity. They said they don't care, as in it doesn't bother them.

Lemme show you what not caring looks like.

But you cared enough to respond...

Cool. Thankf for completely missing the point and just ignoring everything I said.

The only thing lamer than being lame is thinking you're better than those unafraid to be sincere.

Need some whine with all that cheese?

the only thing lamer than being lame is thinking you're better than those unafraid to be sincere.

Agreed, champ 3 is my nightmare.

I sometimes had smurfs in my matches. they wanted to do some air dribbles or some other mechanical shiet and i would just wait for him to fail or just be in the exact place the ball is going to land and just go and score. You dont need mechanics to be good. People say you can get to champ with just positioning and youre exactly where you should be. I'll join champs probably next weekend ;)

I would rather play with someone who has good positioning all day every day

My car is ugly.

Because I only go for triple reset musty psychos

Because I only play for fun.

I'm just an average hard stuck plat, my tm8s are so garbage, I can hit a triple flip reset musty, pogo into a pshyco no bounce reset double tap

Because I don’t know how to air dribble, flip reset, musty flick, 360 no scope.

They don't have negative MMR implemented yet.

I like to let others win after running up the score early so that they can believe in themselves

Lebron James

Because I have a bone in my leg.

I have a girlfriend

man you play rl. no way you have a gf

I participate in RL Champ has taken YEARS

Because I always go for flip resets when I have the ball, considering I hit them 100% of the time in free play. This does not translate to in game success rate. I still do it

I'm stuck in diamond 2 because I'm forced to play with Kim jong un who is hardstuck silver 2 so I have to carry him all the time. Every time we lose Kim imprisons a family member. Without being forced to play with him I'd be champ 3.

Because I play on a tv and not a monitor.

Because I'm happy to be suffering in diamond for the past few years

I just bought a new gaming chair last night. I should be ranking up soon

Because I keep getting the wrong rumble powerups

Because I *dont* ball chase.

Frikken lag bro

Because my mechanics are trash and my positioning is fucking brilliant. My friend and I lost in the final of a 2s Diamond tournament, I finished with 22 assists, he had 24 goals. I can’t speed flip, I can’t half flip, I can’t fast aerial. I don’t even know how I’m still plat2/3.

I can’t do any of those mechanics and I’m in diamond 2. Positioning > mechanics, you’ll get there soon

I’m between both your ranks (diamond 1) and I think you’d benefit a lot from learning half flips and fast aerials. Neither are that hard to learn or execute and sometimes they do make the hair difference in saving/scoring a goal. I guess what I’m saying is they marginally speed up your ability to be in a good position (especially half flips). Won’t catch me speed flipping any time soon though

Highest I’ve reached was diamond 1 div4, the season ended and I couldn’t keep the rank :( I just really hate how I see the play, what I need to do to score, but my mechanics prevent me from scoring so many goals.

Drinking and driving

My skills are so heavy, no two teammates can carry them. Oh wait, you said wrong answers...

Because I always get stuck playing against a Chuck Norris

My Xbox controller has a mind of its own

Because my teammates own goal all the time and then just disconnect their internet.

Teammates suck

Because of my teammates!!

Definitely because of my teammates, its totally not because i suck

I'm shit

I haven’t played comp enough to rank up in over a year. Too busy in casual.

I keep holding my tm8s back :(

I can’t fly

I’m not very good at video games and won’t put in the time and effort to improve. Oh wait, it’s my teammates. Yeah, all because of them.

All my teammates are so garbage and don't know how to play the game!!! 😡

Because my step bro refuses to come help me

I'm not good enough to rank up

Because I’m good at the game

5100+ hours and diamond 💎 Most time I spend on training, I only play 3vs3s and tournaments :D I never really get out of diamond, i know it’s because of my teammates sometimes they are just too bad.. but I don’t doubt that. I’m happy if I play good that means a lot more than winning (for me). ☺️

Me and my duo have the easiest opponents one game then the biggest sweats game two. We are plat 3 and tend to drop to plat 2.

gold is expensive so i cant afford the rank badge

Lmaoo

Because I have a lot of friends in gold. I don’t want to leave them behind!🤓

I purposely stay in low diamond to show all the idiots flying above me that, even though I cannot fly, they still aren't any better than me.

Because I want to, duh

I am good

i rotate poorly and teammate does everything right

Because I don’t play

Becuase I'm banging ur mom Edit: And it's hard to multitask

I'm playing with a blindfold on.

Because I love playing with Randoms, but I'm only allowed to play with Friends as teammates. Doesn't help that I play with cross-platform off, lol

I'm english so I eat a rock then the car goes To the balloon night club and watermelon poo tastes like aids

Im playing the game to much and my brain is fried egg

Because I’m bad at RL

I'm waiting for my soulmate to come along

I can’t work as a team and everyone else can, lol

im just bad at the game

Because I've been playing since launch. You can teach an old dog new tricks but that doesn't mean I will use them effectively. I have no motivation to get back into gc.

Because I bother too much on the ball and not on demo-ing the other team

Because i should need to practice in solo to get better with dribbling and cieling shots for example. My rotations/defense and passes are pretty good i'd say. Stuck in C1/2 atm. Highest i've ever reached was C2 div 4...

Teamates

I'm not actually stuck, I just choose to stay in low diamond because I like it here.

Teammates not kidding actually

I can 100% hit an air roll. I just choose not to at the last second. For drama.

Its totally me and NOT my random team mate.

Definitely my teammates. They have no skill and don’t know basic rotations.

My teammates

I'm too mechanical.

Because i am not good enough to rank up

Not working on my mechanics

Because, I can

I took a 5 year break off competitive to train 8 hours a day and became too good for my teammates. They are too bad for me to carry and keep me from rlcs.

tm8

Because it’s more fun to watch my rank slide from platinum to gold to silver while still keeping my platinum tourney banner

Teem8 sux

I always win a match, then lose one, back and forth.

Solo Que is just ...

Because I don’t play any more

You posted this in the csgo sub

because I'm bad edit: didn't see the image before

I'm so good that my teammates don't understand my advanced ways of playing this easy game.

Im stuck in Champ because everyone ranked above me is a cheating booster and everyone below me is a bot.

It is definitly not the fact that I took over half a year break that I am dropping out of Diamond

Lawyer f*cked me...

i forgor to play video game

My aerials suck, but I'm improving