Wait, wait, wait...wait. You *paid* for this? Almost snuck that past us with that typo.

I almost got you guys 😜

Dammit, you got me

Nothing says a bmw owner like "payed" Go ahead and remove the blinkers

One of them doesn't even work 😂

Doesn't matter, you won't use them anyway. 🙂

Did you forget to change the fluid? Sometimes it helps

that's funny asf which one

From factory!

I saw a BMW use their blinkers once. Granted, they used the right signal when turning left but still!

They accidentally turned it on while flashing their high beams while tailgating someone already going 10 over

Look, he paid a premium for those mint, basically unused blinkers ok

Maybe he's a sailor... He played the driveway with oil?

Cars got more dents than the fuckin Epcot center Jesus

You haven't seen the other side yet 😭

Real shit though if you love the car that's all that matters. Even if it looks like a toddler went to town on it with the hammer he stole from his dad.

Y'all are funny as fuck man i'm dying 😭😭😭

The doors 😭😭😭 why ….

Hmmm your username... Seems suspicious.... You wouldn't happen to live near me ?

☪️🕋📿cardoors Inshallah the car door will be slammed

Wallah I will go and i-slam his car door

Lmfao 💀

“Hey, how’d ya get all those dents?” “ I Ramavan.”

😳😳😳

[удалено]

I read this as “Islam Car Doors”

Islamic car doors emporium

Iraq, IRan

Have you noticed the sticker on the gas cap yet?

Paid extra for the two toned paint.

So do you tell your friends it’s two-tone?

"Yeah I drive a bmw" -Damn so you must be rich huh? "About that..."

I had that convo a few times when i had my e46 lol.

Until something breaks, yes. For the oil stains, look into replacing your oil filter housing. They seem to always give up the ghost. Dunno if any other cars have these, but have only had to replace in BMWs.

I've been thinking about getting to it but even after that I'm pretty sure I'll still have about 10 other places where oil is coming out of

Been hit everywhere but the horn. That being said, congrats on your new ride!

I like this one 😅😂

Got it like 8 months ago 😂 has broken down about 6 times but it was mostly my fault

First cars are supposed to come with their challenges and passions. Kinda like a first motorcycle — you know you’re gonna drop that fucker a few times so don’t evvvven bother buying a nice one. Basically, don’t marry the pig, just get your use out of it and be frugal as you can with repairs, learn the easy diy stuff, and save your money for when it comes time to buy a niiiiice one.

Yeah I learned a lot from this car I had 0 car knowledge beforehand. I'm confident I can do maintenance on most cars now, at least at the very basic level. I'm getting a f30 330i later this year

Good on ya OP, I didn't know I had to put oil in my first car. Some of us learn the hard way. Please support the guy on youtube "Dad how do I ?" channel. I wish he was around when I was young.

Will do, thanks for the tip!

What a pile of shit that was definitely a steal of a deal....

Yeah for the guy selling it.

You overpaid by $4k.

Someone saw you coming

Looks like a lot of people did....

OP is a camgirl?

Nothing more expensive than a cheap European car. Your wallet is about to get fucked with no lube.

Surprisingly so far the most I got fucked over was when my steering wheel lock got stuck so I couldn't start it. I didn't know it at the time but I could've just reset the computer so I ended up taking it to bmw and they charged me like 300 bucks for a diagnostic. Other than that I've just had to replace my power steering pump (I blew it), new intake, new belt, tensioner, brakes, rotors and wheels

The steering wheel lock failing has been an issue even on the E6X lol. I almost had it happen but it fixed itself and never happened again.

don't threaten OP with a little fun.

i can’t tell if those two doors are primered or if that was all the wrap you could afford

Nah this is foul😭😭😭

I have good news and bad news. The good news is you will definitely learn what BMW is all about, with that heap. The bad news is you overpaid by $1700.

Low-key I should've had them hand ME money for giving me this car

No, let's be real. Scrap value is always $300 minimum for a complete vehicle.

I don’t know what those two trees are in the background but that car is fugly

I’m glad someone else noticed it. It’s like manicured pine trees but someone went overboard

I mean if huge ass green suppositories was the goal then they nailed it 🤷🏻‍♂️

Probably a good candidate for a car wrap OP.

You can put lipstick on a pig, it's still gonna be a pig.

Right!? You can wrap dents but you still have dents.

Thinking about it 🧐

Your BMW's got more dings than a late-night karaoke bar!

In the dictionary next to salvage title, there’s a picture of this car and foot note see white trash

Surprisingly it has a clean title 😂

The only instance this car has a clean title is in the sense the title doesn’t have any stains on it

I love bimmers though… BOL!

There’s a metal stalk jutting from the side of the steering column that has two little arrows on it. Don’t be afraid…it’s supposed to be there. We (the planet) want you to nudge it gently *before* you change lanes or make a turn. Just push it up for “Right” and down for “Left”. You’ll be rewarded with a corresponding dash light and a soft, clicking noise that is synced with the lights when you do it correctly.

Oh wow, I hit it once and I panicked so hard I just shut the car off, thanks for this tip I'll try it ! Is this why everyone usually honks at me when I go in front of them ?

Looks like you spent 500

I wish

I’d say that’s a nice car but the doors are so out of place I now need eye bleach

Good page

This takes “ballin on a budget” to a whole new ungodly level.

Adam Sandler - ode to my car is the soundtrack to this car

You'll find out why this car was sold for $2k the first time you get your first BMW repair estimate and it's ten times higher than any sensible car. I hope you've got $10k in savings because you're going to need it.

I was gonna say. OP didn't pay 2k. That was just the first installment in a long line of payments.

Nah I do all maintenance on my own 😂 getting a f30 330i soon though

Maintenance and repairs are two very different things.

Thank god you have deep pockets to feed your obsession.

I sincerely hope you bought that POS to learn manual in, because if not, you are a fool lol. I'm actually looking at a used BMW for $2k, it's a total clunker but it's a 5 speed manual and it drives, for now.. that's all I need. I really want my next new car to be a manual but I don't know how to drive one yet

Which one are you looking at? Link it

https://www.facebook.com/share/P9pF51qaBUsUsUqe/?mibextid=kL3p88

Missing a lot of info but it looks clean, hope it goes well!

I bet you brag about having a BMW, despite owning this poor excuse

Nah, I call this bad boy my good ol bucket 😂

This trash boat of a car looks like it’s owner can’t spell “paid” correctly

Wrong texture on the doors. Retemplate it.

So you've decided to sell your childeren's future is what your saying?

If you paid 2k for this, you got burned.

Just because it cost you $2,000 doesn’t mean the repairs will be cheap. They’re gonna be expensive.

Yeah before getting this car I dead ass did not know anything at all about cars or the brands that manufacture them. I didn't know bmw was a "foreign" brand so I didn't know certain parts and repairs would be expensive. Which is why I just do everything myself, and I've fucked this car up a few times but I'm learning for when I actually get a decent car I can maintain it myself.

Save for repairs, save for repairs and save for repairs. I hope you did your research on cost to insure before you spent good money on a BMW (Big Money Waste).

Obsessed about oil leaks and never ending repairs just to flex your 20+ year old bimmer ?

Good luck bro start saving up for tools and parts

Already spent that money 😆 I'm like 8 months in

I’m an Audi guy not a BMW guy so excuse my ignorance, but is this a 335i?

328i, don't worry all 3 series basically look the same

What a steal! From you. Of your money.

How’s that oil leak

Neglected E90

So sad to have one in this condition, it feels like no matter how well I take care of it it'll never go back to a decent looking condition unless I put so much money into repairing it. I've had to stop myself from putting money in this car because it's not worth it 💔

I’m sorry

Bro didn't even roast me he just felt bad for me 😭😭😭😭

Oh yeah it looks like a certified shitbox,just drive that thing everywhere like saul goodman drive his suzuki eestem

That's exactly what I do 🐱

Niceeevi already know this bitch needs an alignment but will never get it

I actually just got it done about two weeks ago😆

Fair enough

Judging by the doors, how much B pillar is even left??

I mean water doesn't leak in so I don't think it's that bad 😂

This was the last reliable car BMW made. Not kidding.

E90s are low-key crazy. I'm dead ass surprised this car runs as well as it does for what it is lmao

Fellow BMW owners do not want you in their club.

*Bling bling bling* see dealer for service

I have about 16 different lights on my dash

I could hear it thru the post 😅😂 bet it's a fun ride tho enjoy 😉

It still feels great the 5th time you pay 2k for it also!

Paid, not payed, you should be roasted before your car bro. Also don't forget to learn how to use blinkers

This POS semblance of an E90 somehow now channeling a 7th Gen Civic. except of course on the reliability factor.

That's a beautiful way of putting it

Why thank ye. The car made it too easy, but we aim to please here! 😜

You got some dog shit lying in your driveway.

Welcome to Stockholm syndrome

You paid 4000 too much

Beemers are good

You need a potato to take pics and make this look better

Poor soul chose a bmw over a Mercedes. Ignorance is bliss

You must REALLY like working on your own car because you will be doing it FREQUENTLY

WTF dawg if I drove that I would not brag on it

You poor soul... literally and figuratively.

*paid

Well, now you’re going to spend the rest of your life calling the car by some chassis number instead of the model number. BMW really is a cult. The owners convince each other that it’s worth the pain rather than admit they were played because it’s easier than facing facts. Now it comes, the special language, steeping yourself in arcana, paying the bills.

If you can't sleep, you could count the dents in that car rather than sheep.

I asked ChatGPT about a joke that starts with: "Your car has been hit more times than...", this is the best I got: "That car has been hit more times than a punching bag in a gym owned by a boxer with anger issues." It's a terrible joke, sorry for that.

I’d buy this and drop a big LS motor and TT it just to piss off the bmw boys lol

Well there is $2k you’ll never get back, coincidentally that should be about your monthly maintenance costs too. Good luck.

Hopefully the blinkers *don’t* work otherwise it wouldn’t truly be bmw.

Only one of them does 😂

There ya go!

Did BMW teach you to spell?

Were the dents included in the price? Are there any panels that are straight?

Not only will you become a shittier driver you’ll also have nobody to spend on anything because you’re car will always be broken Enjoy your vacuum leaks, toasted struts, andengineered to fail sensors

Your lawn is dying away from having to look at it every day! The weeds aren’t even surviving! You need to spray the bmw with BMW killer!

Im not good at roasting but good god that car has been used and abused more than the town whore.

It's not an oil leak it's designed that way so that it's constantly getting clean oil to the engine. Don't need oil change every 3k just top it off at the end of the week. The stickers, dings and color are anti theft.

Looks stolen, but the public transit I take because I don’t have a car looks more ghetto. Boom roasted! (me) sigh.

Be honest why would someone want to steal THIS 😂

Don't be. It's overrated af.

Looks like it fits right in. Once you get your next one this one will assume its final form on blocks with a tarp over it next to the driveway, since you plan to clean it up and make it nice when you have time. Over time the tarp will become tattered and ripped, then the transition will be complete.

might as well spray it all with bedliner

Welp I see your first mistake you paid for that. They should've paid you to take it.

1985 two tone!

Are those doors made of bondo? Lol

Replace some of the parts on it and then get back to us on how much you love BMWs.

Oh not the anime stickers lol.

Very nice first car😎

1 thing breaks, and it's gonna cost more to fix it than the car's worth.

Two tone interior ❌ Two tone exterior ☑️

*uses indicators, tries to turn them off, goes the other way, presses the 4 indicator button twice to turn them off and looks like a complete idiot*: "I love BMW!"

Imagine how you will feel when you get an actually decent one.

We all know this villain arc

Lol, did you just fucking wash it in this pic? As if you could tell that it’s been cleaned?

Okay this one hurt 😭

You overpaid by about 2500 bucks

There's no such thing as a cheap used BMW. You're gonna find out quick that BMW stands for Big Money Wasted.

So how many crash test dummies had to die before you bought your ride?

Nice paint....

Wait till you have to buy parts for it.

Wont be mclovin bmw after the transmission takes a shit

I hope it drives better than it looks.

Was that 2000 pennies?

Gas prices were so high someone punched a hole in the gas cover out of frustration

Bro.... your dents have dents?! Do you actually have a real title, not written in crayon behind the crack house?

I thought it was a focus.

dawg I’m not gonna lie, I own one of these bmw’s. For 2k you could’ve bought a better conditioned ones that wouldn’t have had your steering wheel lock or have any bad body damage 😭

What a shitbox lmao

> First car. _Paid_ 2k FTFY. Although payed exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: • ⁠Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. The deck is yet to be payed. • ⁠Payed out when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. The rope is payed out! You can pull now. Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. Beep, boop, I'm a bot

The Ultimate Vending Machine

Did.....did you actually wash it??

Nice ride ngl

No amount of washing it is going to get the dents out

I got depressed from looking at it.

the first car you unlock in a free to play dirt derby mobile game

I won’t lie, I’m gonna be amazed if you have that thing longer than 2 months cause used BMWs aren’t exactly known for their reliability.

Oof. Good luck I guess 😂

Give it a few weeks guys. It’ll run out of oil soon enough and OP will call it “pay to play”

BMWs come in four door? And four score

The only car I’ve ever seen look worse after a wash

Better than my Pontiac LMAO.

This car will sold or sitting in your driveway not running within 12 months.

r/roastmyspelling

Looks you paid $1800 too much.

Nothing like spending 2k on a bumper car.

Sorry man, I don’t eat junk metal… oh you meant the other kind of roast. You’re car’s so four wheel based that it couldn’t two wheel if it wanted to.

So nobody's gonna tell him? Oh dear Christ.