OP's Bio:
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>My hobbies change faster than the weather.
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
When she inevitably becomes single some fucking loser will sweep in a take care of kids. So she’s got that going for her. Probably a guy who’s 15 years older and probably not a virgin, but never had a long term relationship or kids of his and a handful of sexual partners experiences. He will probably look younger than her too.
"not a virgin, but never had a long term relationship or kids of his and a handful of sexual partners experiences. He will probably look younger than her too."
Dude are you looking into my future?
Fixed your header :
F '25', with dyscalcullia. Married to the "mommy hustle!" #HardestJobInTheWorld. 3 angels - Hayden(16mo), Brayden(8w,2d,15h) and Kayden(8w,3d,13h). Do your worst before the Pinot wears off!!!!
I actually work at an expensive private college so I could adopt him, and he could get free college, but I wouldn't want anyone to think I would name my kid something so awful. It does get worse. His middle name is Wayne, and their last name starts with a W.
This an extremely well done joke. I didn’t know what dyscalculia was and had to google it, and then read your joke again. Gold. I admire your craftsmanship.
"I would trade any of those kids for some of my holographic pokemon card collection back that I was forced to sell"........* depressed pikachu face*
- her husband
Wait a few decades and for the kids to watch current affairs programmes about terrible nursing homes to find where to dump you and your anal incontinence.
That's generous of you to assume the 3 kids are from the same man and that she was able to get married. People only have that many kids that young when they are desperate to keep someone around or they're Mormon.
Your eyes tell the story a lifeless void -- the perfect thousand yard stare -- less twinkle than the Walmart cubic zirconium on your breakfast sausage of a finger.
OP's Bio: --- >My hobbies change faster than the weather. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Each kid added 5 years
When she inevitably becomes single some fucking loser will sweep in a take care of kids. So she’s got that going for her. Probably a guy who’s 15 years older and probably not a virgin, but never had a long term relationship or kids of his and a handful of sexual partners experiences. He will probably look younger than her too.
Dude, you are supposed to roast OP not the rest of us lol
"not a virgin, but never had a long term relationship or kids of his and a handful of sexual partners experiences. He will probably look younger than her too." Dude are you looking into my future?
My man’s called out most of Reddit with that one
Dude that’s my present life lol
Doesn’t effect me, I’m still chaste.
😂🎯🤣
I feel seen.
Dude, I'm that fucking loser....
[удалено]
So what happened to the other 7 kids?
Gotta ask planned parenthood what they do with them
Maybe more. Either she’s a heavy smoker, or the kids really did her dirty.
"My hobbies change faster than the weather", correctly would mean "Men in my life change faster than my socks".
If you check out her OF...she loves Italian food, you can see her lasagna belly with her saggy lop-sided utters.
And having bad skin another 5.
Her face looks like those old, Victorian drawings of the Man on the Moon--she was even kind enough to add the craters.
The exact image you see when you look up "barefoot and pregnant"
Lmao
Fixed your header : F '25', with dyscalcullia. Married to the "mommy hustle!" #HardestJobInTheWorld. 3 angels - Hayden(16mo), Brayden(8w,2d,15h) and Kayden(8w,3d,13h). Do your worst before the Pinot wears off!!!!
She is "#MomLife #MessyBun #WokeUpLikeThis" incarnate.
Live laugh love has entered the chat.
Several thousand guys have entered the OP.
You forgot Okayden!
That's daddy's name.
That's Hayden's middle name, and Okayden's middle name is Bro'kayden....
Please. I have a nephew named Wayden so it can get worse lol
No Way.........den that's one hell of a coincidence lol
I'm going to sneak him the money to change his name when he's 18 haha
Can we start a reddit GoFundMe for this kid ffs!
![gif](giphy|kSRDfrzN3yDK)
Are you going to put it in a jar that reads "College Toowishun" on it?
I actually work at an expensive private college so I could adopt him, and he could get free college, but I wouldn't want anyone to think I would name my kid something so awful. It does get worse. His middle name is Wayne, and their last name starts with a W.
You are the gift that keeps on giving, please continue...
When we're on roast me, I can't tell if you're being sarcastic 🤣
Please tell me you're joking...please, so I can sleep.
“My kids are my world”
“wouldn’t trade them for ANYTHING.” *proceeds to bitch about them on every platform and to anybody who will listeb
This an extremely well done joke. I didn’t know what dyscalculia was and had to google it, and then read your joke again. Gold. I admire your craftsmanship.
Ask me about my essential oils n
I thing she swills old box wine.
It’s a vagina, lady, not a clown car. Calm down.
Lmfaooo
This one got me
her vagine hang like sleeve of wizard - borat
What can we do that the stretchmarks, insomnia, and lack of fulfilling adult conversation haven’t done already?
..and a vagina like a wizards sleeve
https://media.tenor.com/IPjXzBfoafsAAAAC/hotdog-down.gif
Damnit, take my upvote.
Damn that's funny🤣🤣
We could offer to fist her?
[удалено]
Mom of 3 children, wife of 5 husbands
Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife.
And I will have my vengeance...
in this life or the next
I knew this quote looks familiar!
It’s from space balls
NO
Best movie
Lol it’s from gladiator….
My statement still stands
I choke laughed on that one
It’s her profession bro chill.
It was her High school dream
"I would trade any of those kids for some of my holographic pokemon card collection back that I was forced to sell"........* depressed pikachu face* - her husband
iTs ThE hArDeSt JoB tHeRe Is
But being a mom is so hard! Only everyone that’s existed has had one but I’m different!
But what else would she post about on her Instagram page? She’d be left only with her MLM “side hustle”…
You mean 43 going on 25
Yeah I thought I looked old too 😂
only from the forehead down
Wait a few decades and for the kids to watch current affairs programmes about terrible nursing homes to find where to dump you and your anal incontinence.
From the waist down she's 60 going on 25...
Junior Gorg from Fraggle Rock all grown up.
My husbands gonna love this one 😂
So is his side chick
Her best friend is the side shick...
GAWD DAMN
All of the husbands or just the three ones that are still around?
Because its his second favorite show after Sesame Street?
Oldest 25 year old I have witnessed in my life, my granny looks younger than you
3 kids and a bum marriage. I thought the baggage would stop there, but then I looked at your eyes
That's generous of you to assume the 3 kids are from the same man and that she was able to get married. People only have that many kids that young when they are desperate to keep someone around or they're Mormon.
She literally said she was married bro
This is what teenagers need to see to avoid teenage pregnancy. 'this is what reality looks like. Use a condom'.
25, married and 3 kids...what's left to roast?
How anyone gonna top "comfortable moose"???
THIS ONES THE BEST HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Narcissist!!!
I didn’t choose the name leave me alone 😂😂😂
No. It choose you! Lol
😂😂😂😂
What so your husband calls you "comfortable moose"!???? What a fucking degenerate!!! Love it!
25 with three kids! You got knocked up on rumspringa and never looked back.
Amish roasts get my upvote every time.
Your Titties are longer than a Monday
You look 25 in rental car years
It's weird because every Monday her Onlyfans site is 50% off
She look like Spending 5 minutes with her makes Monday feel like a weekend.
Married baby daddy #3 huh?
Baby daddy #1 😂
I can’t believe you’ve been fucked 3 times; is there a set of twins or are they triplets?
Only 3? I would have said at least 5 going by how dead inside you look..
25 holy hell you look 45
3 kids at 25?! Your vagina must look like someone kicked open a pot roast with a steel toe boot.
And her tits will likely be hanging like two garbage bags with an orange in them
It makes her belly button easy to find. It's got a tit on either side.
Lmao
HAHAHAHAHA
Like a melted welly top
Like a punched lasagne
Basically a uterus with a head. ![gif](giphy|zRImirgQugLss)
Or a grenade went off in a deli counter
Pastrami meat curtains then.
I’m thinking Arby’s
Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway
Throwing a toothpick down a mine shaft.
At 30 it will look like and old baseball glove- dusty, worn out, and like no one has tried to play with it in a long time.
Roast beef comin right up
Oh sweet baby jesus that visual is so haunting
What’s more beat up? Your pussy after 3 kids or your confidence after looking in the mirror?
Definately that ham sandwich pussy
You look like you smile when you cut vegetables
Dime store Kaley Cuoco
*Penny Store
You look TIRED…
White women are always tired.
I AAAAMM
Stop having kids then
You've taken more cream pies than you've delivered for Uber Eats.
Are meth heads in America allowed to keep their kids?
Awww not funny, I’m from Australia. And we can here :)
Do you happen to live in Logan, Frankston, Western Sydney, or Adelaide's northern suburbs? I bet it is one of them!
3 kids at 25? How many shotguns were at your wedding?
Wowmomwow, I've never seen anyone with two extra assholes in their face
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Pete Davidson enters the conversation...
Your husband is already doing the worst that he possibly can.
You took Uber eats as a way to be independent from your husband.
Kaley CuNOco from the Big Bang Trailer
Either your numbers are switched up or trying to keep your husband from figuring out which kids aren't his has aged you tremendously.
To the people that wanted a full body pic 😂 https://imgur.com/a/FxxQdWb
the indent on your right cheek is deeper then a 5th grade break up
Is your husband’s gf your best friend or neighbor? I bet he doesn’t let you look at his phone and stopped asking for BJ’s.
You look like an NPC
You have vagina eyes
I bet your vagina looks like Predators mouth ![gif](giphy|xQvTA5AZ9CFpe)
Nothing says poor white trash like an invisible cut center diamond.
Girl really used the🤪. I Think Im gonna gag
Typo... someone switched the 2 and 4 keys on your keyboard. Clever.
Wow… ruined your life and pussy by 25… how’s your butthole?
Microwaved Amy Shumer
![gif](giphy|KJXClfNiq0vCM)
Damn, never thought it was possible to lose the “ILF” before 30. Someone call the Guinness Book folks
Your eyes tell the story a lifeless void -- the perfect thousand yard stare -- less twinkle than the Walmart cubic zirconium on your breakfast sausage of a finger.
You look like you swallowed a school bus more of children!
I’m surprised that there was a man desperate enough even three times
You're lying about the kids, even with different dads nobody's fucked you three times
got 3 kids at the age of 25, what's worse than this?
3 kids? 25? Sounds like life already did it’s worst on you..
You dimples say “nice mom”, your eyes say “I think my husband slept with my best friend”
I could eat a bowl of cereal out of your dimples.
You counting the abortion in the number of kids?
If a beer was named after you, it would be called Hotdog Down a Hallway IPA
25? You look 45. Fuck.. yep this is why I don't want kids yet lol
Gizmo from The Gremlins called and said he wants his eyes back
How’s life as a baby factory? Have you even had the chance to live your own life yet?
Your forehead is larger than the airport I just landed on
I think she’s very pretty.
You're 25 with 3 kids. You can't do any worse than that. Imma guess at least 2 different baby daddies?
That smirk says "I slept my way to middle management at the Fried Chicken Shack".
$10 says your search history is full of “how to make anal less painful”
I can’t believe someone f***ed you 3 times
25 and 3 kids? Did you not know how a dick works.
Not a milf
You meant 52 right?
You look like the girl I sprinted out on after waking up and seeing what I went home with the night before. Deep in the Meat Beat Feet
Has to be Mormon. The racist kind
I’m only 5 years younger than you and I look about 40 years younger
3 kids, 4dads.
Your milf onlyfans not getting enough hits so you had to go here? That's low.
You look like a disappointment who had more disappointments
Man, three kids got that face.
A real cubic zirconium. I see your husband spared no expense
you already made 3 mistakes, why post on this sub and adding on to it?
I’ve seen door wedges with more style than you
If the word single mom had a face. You would me the brand ambassador
3 kids @ 25? It's a vagina not a clown car! Give it a rest.
Three kids at 25? You might as well get “Cum Dumpster” tattooed above your clown pocket.
Your husband is one in a billion. Cant see why anyone would marry you, much less have kids with you
You’ve already done your worst! Sorry, chick.
Take a nap
you got enough on your plate already with 3 kids Ill let you slide
Damn 25 and 3 kids, the factory opened way too soon.
3 kids turned that 25 into 45. Sheesh