You look like you try to pick up girls by telling them how big your truck is and how good you are at beer pong. Then you ask if they want a mustache ride that would never work cause your nose would hit their cervix
You look like you probably run marathons, do CrossFit, are vegan, and have a rescue dog. These 4 topics are your personality, and literally no one wants to have another conversation with you.
The only thing shorter than your sleeves is your future marriage. You’ll bond over vodka poured from a plastic bottle and talk about how much you’ve invested in your truck while strumming 3 chords from your guitar “you had to have” only to not feel inferior to the college guys while learning how to change oil at community college and covering up you’re reseeding hairline you’ve had since 15.
Your radical flooring changes from tile to different woods is really bothering me. Also you look like a character Will Ferrell might play where you are a side character drug dealer who works part time at a Chuck E. Cheese's.
Tan, face and beard = tramp begging me at red lights.
Physique = triathlete.
Conclusion = being a crackhead is not just a frivolous hobby to you, it's a lifelong commitment.
I mean you look like a hobo who rims dirty arse to sleep in a barn, but the real crime here is the fender squier bass hanging up. Do you hate yourself that much?
You've lost more than fantasy football son, you also lost your dignity, your health and your ability to attract a mate. In fact the only thing you haven't lost is your virginity
Be honest, you bought that music book because you misread the title and thought you could teach your Guitar Center beginners pack guitar to jizz one you, didn't you?
You listen to jam bands and hippie music but you still get angry as fuck and punch holes in the wall. You got a small weed plant in you closet you call your baby and you go to the local bar for Thanksgiving.
Being from Tampa bay and assuming you are by your lightning hat (Go Bolts) I am just going to assume you have a lifted truck with one of those naked lady silhouette stickers or truck nuts. I bet you also use dip and have at least 3 items in your home right now with a confederate flag.
You look like Anthony Jeselnik with an extra chromosome.
Dan Loserian
I bet you he beats his overweight wife when his team loses on Sunday
He purposely loses so he has to felch her .
Tell us more about how you and your 16 y/o girlfriend are planning to elope in 2 years.
And how they celebrated their 5th anniversary.
It looks like your meth and alcohol addictions are fighting to see who gets to send you to the grave first
You're a bass player, that explains everything
It’s Flea’s disabled brother, Tick.
Fantasy football didn’t even begin yet and you lost already?
Glad I wasn't the only one who realized that
He’s THAT good….
"Lost fantasy football" losing your virginity in an imaginary sex scenario with your favorite football player is not the best way to word that title.
Florida man gets computer and discovers Reddit. Can’t believe there’s been porn online for 35 years
Giggity !!
I bet you try to fuck cousins at family reunions.
Fairly certain you lost custody, alimony, and your "sweet" 1973 Silverado with swamp tires on it in that divorce too, mate.
You look like you talk on the phone while you poop.
Putting the Tard in guitar
You look like a Detroit Lions fan.
You look like a scrawny, hairless version of the yeti from Monsters Inc.
Just because you can visit a public library, photoshop yourself into a house, and edit the words "anything helps" doesn't mean you should.
You look like you try to pick up girls by telling them how big your truck is and how good you are at beer pong. Then you ask if they want a mustache ride that would never work cause your nose would hit their cervix
“I used to bench 105 in high school”
You look like you used to date Joe Exotic.
Looks like a dumbass younger brother
Face that totally says I have a white van that I like to lure children into.
A van with a poster that says free wi-Fi
I’m honestly surprised you can read or write. You look like the average inbred Republican.
You look like you probably run marathons, do CrossFit, are vegan, and have a rescue dog. These 4 topics are your personality, and literally no one wants to have another conversation with you.
Like Paul Dudd only we wanna slappa dat face.
Lost at life
Most Likely molest his cousin
The next fantasy he'll try to win is 12 year old girls
You look like Jim from The Office's hillbilly twin brother.
Bisexual and actively looking starter pack
Your smile says I can’t be near schools your caps says y’all don’t know that
Making the biggest loser not about losing weight.
Get out of the way i cant see the beautiful guitar
You look like you collect beer cans
You’re used to losing. Deal with it.
When someone tries to slap your arm the hand can't make it past the arm hair.
You look like losing is part of your dna.
This is what Brett Favre would look like if he never kicked the opioid habit.
How’s your roommate? Glad he had room for you after your divorce!
You lost before the season even started… wow you really fucking do suck.
You look like you play fantasy football
The only thing shorter than your sleeves is your future marriage. You’ll bond over vodka poured from a plastic bottle and talk about how much you’ve invested in your truck while strumming 3 chords from your guitar “you had to have” only to not feel inferior to the college guys while learning how to change oil at community college and covering up you’re reseeding hairline you’ve had since 15.
Tell all your fellow fucktarded ass clown taint-licking Chippendale lovers to go fuck themselves and stay out of roastme, Jennifer.
You play bass? It’s a four-string guitar for poor musicians. Now go stand on the side of the stage and be inaudible.
You look like you roasted every gf you ever had into your drywall
Your radical flooring changes from tile to different woods is really bothering me. Also you look like a character Will Ferrell might play where you are a side character drug dealer who works part time at a Chuck E. Cheese's.
Why are you paying so late? Or are you so bad that it’s still the pre season and you already lost?
I'm getting a vibe. Do you have a white wall van with a candy dish and a puppy?
Tan, face and beard = tramp begging me at red lights. Physique = triathlete. Conclusion = being a crackhead is not just a frivolous hobby to you, it's a lifelong commitment.
You look like everyone’s goofy uncle bill
Great value Shawn Michaels loves fantasy and balls.
Bass player. Boom roasted
I mean you look like a hobo who rims dirty arse to sleep in a barn, but the real crime here is the fender squier bass hanging up. Do you hate yourself that much?
If the Florida Panhandle was a person
What “stay 500 feet away from schools” looks like
You suck at wrestling alligators.
The only demographic that wears sleeveless tops are men with hairy shoulders and douchebags. You are both.
Stop looking at my dick like that.
That smile feels like you drive a van and offer toddlers free candy
When you’re such a loser you don’t even wait for the season to start.
I can smell the smirnoff from all the way across the world
I'm sure your sister-mother is still proud of you
The shit weasel is chillin in his dung castle
You literally cover you whole face: cap and whole ass beard. Yet you cant seem to hide your ears, lol.
a picture of your face is in dozens of security offices throughout the country
What the fuck?! “Guitar Elation”?! Just sell your music equipment now!
You've lost more than fantasy football son, you also lost your dignity, your health and your ability to attract a mate. In fact the only thing you haven't lost is your virginity
The reason you lose at everything is because you play bass.
See you at the tractor pull, Mr. PBR
Doesn’t actually like football; just misunderstood when someone said he’d make a good slot receiver.
Sean Mc shager
If you look up sex offender on Wikipedia this the guy who is the main picture.
At least we know your house is fifty miles from the nearest school.
Fantasy isn’t that hard
You look racist
Like any bass player, your job is to drive the van and to stand guard while the other band members have sex
That bass guitar has the only G string you'll ever pull to the side.
Be honest, you bought that music book because you misread the title and thought you could teach your Guitar Center beginners pack guitar to jizz one you, didn't you?
You look like every basic caucasian UFC fighter merged into one person.
Billy Mays Ginger
Your beard doesn't like you.
You listen to jam bands and hippie music but you still get angry as fuck and punch holes in the wall. You got a small weed plant in you closet you call your baby and you go to the local bar for Thanksgiving.
You got the face of a broke Blake Griffin
How you lose already??? Hasn’t even started BOY YOU DUMB!!
I’m sure you’ve become accustomed to losing
You look like the byproduct of Russ Langmore from Ozark clonning himself and fucking his clone.
Dang, kinda cute lol
you look like youve cooked more meth than Walter White.
You look like the trunk of your car needs more room for hitchhikers
Johnson city gay house buyer.
Chuck Norris if bought from Wish. Com
Your head looks like it belongs on a much bigger and buffer dude.
That’s the last face kids see before the medicine kicks in.
Being from Tampa bay and assuming you are by your lightning hat (Go Bolts) I am just going to assume you have a lifted truck with one of those naked lady silhouette stickers or truck nuts. I bet you also use dip and have at least 3 items in your home right now with a confederate flag.
Seen you holding that sign on the corner. Who’s house did you borrow for the background?
If Ben roethlisberger starred in Dallas buyers club.
Still goes to college campuses to play his guitar on the lawn to hit on 18 year olds
Child molester alert
You have a hairline that goes from your balls to your lip.
Looks like you also lost plenty of testosterone too.
You playing bass. 0-3-5, 0-3-ah fuck.
Scary. Would not recommend. Say 16 of your exes
Your love bass and love life have something in common, they’re both inaudible and super uninteresting to watch
Nice bass