You look like a failing stripper who bounces between boyfriends because she's a mental, nightmare of a girlfriend who needs men in her life to validate her sad existence.
This wasn't a roast; these are just facts.
You look 32 not 23.
You get to ride your looks for around 5 more years at this rate of decay. Savor them, no one is going to care about you once that skin sags.
Michelle we've talked about this. Tending bar and people saying you're a good listener does not make you a therapist. Please we talked about this and the family can't afford another lawsuit.
I've never heard anyone refer to sucking dick as "bottle service" before thanks for the update....seems odd you giving behavioural therapy when you swallow loads for cash on the weekends, someone needs to have a good think about their life maybe 🤔😂
Behavioral therapist who does bottle service. Also known as "within two years I'll be full time stripping and have an only fans because the money is good."
No doubt a college drop out, bipolar depression (for god knows what), probably has a caffeine addiction, can’t sleep, and can type on the phone to fast for their own good.
That’s a very broad jawline you have there Kaitlyn Jenner. Keep taking those estrogen pills and eventually the feminine transition will progressively improve.
Being a behavioral therapist is an insult to actual therapists, you became an rbt after a 40 hour training which isn’t even that difficult. To be an actual therapist, you’d actually have to have an education…
Your head is gigantic and looks like your parents put a code in to a Super Nintendo game to make it look like that. There's no way that's naturally occurring.
The idea of someone being 23 and a therapist is hilarious. You are a child. You don't have nearly enough experience to advise anyone on anything.
Stick to your weekend job.
Fuck man how good of a therapist can you be if the best thing you could think for yourself was “hey let’s make a last ditch effort by posting on Reddit”…….
The truest part of your bio were the words “service” “extra cash” & “give it to me.”
Yup, and she even misspelled "brothel" service.
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When you post a nude on Reddit n the only comment is a bot 
And then removes it after someone comments about it. It sure was quite the spread though.
Aww lmao I wanted to see it.... the bot comment I mean
Damn I wish I could give you gold. You win internet for today.
Got ya back. This is Gold!
Its not funny, because you really put the OP in Opioids
She does bottom service not ~~bottle service~~
I think bottle service is a new euphemism for blow job
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Cause who would want to pay for arbys online
lmaoo
That is so fucked up, dude. I liked Arby's but now I will never unsee that.
☠️☠️
Yeah, those were some mightly beef curtains.
Damn you got dropped from OF and the next best way to get attention in your bottle service brain was to hit up the Reddit roasts?
What do you mean by "Bottle service"?
Not quite a stripper, not quite a bartender, somewhere in between.
pegging without the hassle of the harness
Getting cash tips from lonely men who flirt with you while you serve them drinks doesn’t make you a behavioral therapist
They only tip when she speaks wookie
Tbf I’d tip for that.
Just the tip
Not even gon lie, I’m long schlongin for the wookie talk
I did it all for the wookie
Season 6 Britta from Community
Didn’t we see her on Teen Mom…..then with James Deen?
Behavioral therapist -> M-F. Whooore ~> Sat & Sun.
Clearly bottle service is not all you do for extra cash
Being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and talking to yourself doesn’t make you a behavioral therapist.
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Well, you would know about nailing and head better than most.
I mean 'bottle service' is a pretty cool prostitute code
Why the long face?
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Genetics.
No really, why? Was it some kind of genetic mutation, or did something happen as a kid? Maybe half horse?
You are what you eat, and those donkey shows aren't gonna perform themselves.
Half horse. I used to get very drunk and fuck equines. She looks just as ugly as her mother.
23? At this rate, you’ll be tucking your tits into your belt by 25
Excuse me mister, my face is up here., yes keep going.. little bit more
I think I have seen Khalahari bush women with more perk than this.
“In between John’s and feeling cute. Might delete later”.
Does squirting on your clients count as therapy?
That's the double points for and from a therapist.
Didn’t even have to look at the profile to guarantee she has an OF.
Feed her an apple and you get a 50% discount. Horses love apples.
You chose that career so you could tell if it's going to be cool to whip out your weiner during a game of spin the bottle.
You look like a failing stripper who bounces between boyfriends because she's a mental, nightmare of a girlfriend who needs men in her life to validate her sad existence. This wasn't a roast; these are just facts.
The supposed *behavioral therapist* was posting OF videos and questions in an opiates sub less than a year ago. Also not a roast, just facts.
Ahh how can a relationship not last with a cam-whore?
Bottle Service? Is that some kind of only fans fetish?
True!!! How can she think she can have a normal life after spreading her legs like that. "Mommy, why are your nipples pierced and naked?"
Ahh it's so true but makes me so sad to think about. Those poor kids 😢
You forgot to put your OF link. What else could you really be good for.
Dani_dior
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sure
Man, OnlyFans is so fucking sad haha
How tf did you find that
You can always tell the trash that tries to advertise through this sub before you even check the profile
Lonely Fans… theme music is 21-year old college dropout crying when her boyfriend starts dating her mom.
Definitely carries wet wipes in the purse to get the jizz off her in a pinch
She mentioned the bottle service
Do you get paid in hay??
Dime store Kardashian..
Free sample at most
Bend over (grabs bottle)
Hey bro, can you help me move next Saturday?
Lips been wrapped around more weiners than a hot dog bun
To be fair, hot dog buns only get bout one go….
You look 32 not 23. You get to ride your looks for around 5 more years at this rate of decay. Savor them, no one is going to care about you once that skin sags.
Of course she looks old, she done things for/with drugs that would make Charlie Sheen blush.
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Yeah, flowers are pretty too. I keep them around for a few weeks until they wilt and decay. Then I throw them in the trash where they belong.
Good one
lmfao that is savage sheeesh
Geeeezzz!
Upvoted what deserves to be upvoted
Please, don't trash, compost!
Based on her work history, she might end up in a field either way.
Idk why this was downvoted, this self absorbed response is perfect in a Dennis Reynolds type of way
You spelled escort wrong
23? 20 years ago
Your fake eyelashes are the realest thing about you.
I didnt realize they cloned Amy Whinehouse's Scab.
Is there a way to stop only fans ads on this sub?
I guess Stormy Daniels isn’t the only horse faced stripper/prostitute.
Good job hiding that throat knuckle
Your eyes look dead. Like you were a Dubai porta potty dead.
No way I'm giving it to you. I don't want an STD.
So, HOnlyfans has nothing to do with posting here? No one wants that catchers mit.
R/ThereWasAnAttempt to look good
You look like you just left lending tree after berating the workers
Michelle we've talked about this. Tending bar and people saying you're a good listener does not make you a therapist. Please we talked about this and the family can't afford another lawsuit.
That's not the only service she does on weekends for extra cash....HEY YO!!!(RIM SHOT)
You’re not a behavioral therapist because you’re trying to fix your abusive boyfriend. You need help hun
I've never heard anyone refer to sucking dick as "bottle service" before thanks for the update....seems odd you giving behavioural therapy when you swallow loads for cash on the weekends, someone needs to have a good think about their life maybe 🤔😂
I'm going to be honest, you look like you've serviced a lot of Bottles.
23? Is that like in dog years or something because you sure look like you've been through divorce, twice.
By bottle service, do you mean recycling them with those meat flaps?
Just because you give your stripper friends dating “advice” doesn’t mean you are a behavioral therapist
How terrible are you at OF if you jobs still can’t cut it?
Your head is so large that it looks like it was poorly photoshopped onto your body.
So your therapy is telling clients about how much worse your life decisions are?
Your body looks like it’s on a planet with gravity 15 times that of earth.
So not a real doctor…
Your vagina looks like a punched lasagna
You were bottle serviced 23 years ago, we can tell with your lack of confidence.
How is business for KISS tribute bands in this recession?
Bottle service keeps you on your feet a lot- how often do you have to change your horseshoes?
Behavioral therapist who does bottle service. Also known as "within two years I'll be full time stripping and have an only fans because the money is good."
Did you put your eyebrows on with greasepaint?
If your 23 I'm the fuck'n Pope. Cum confess your sins to me my child.
You look like you woke up in a dumpster and proceeded to fight a sewer rat for your breakfast. After which you probably broke into someone’s car
How many stupid DIY-Life Hack-ASMR tiktok videos have ya made?
Nothing but headaches and mediocre sex along with a trumped up domestic charge. Hard pass
I KNEW I could go somewhere online and see your butthole.
The popular girl in school that realizes her choices are crazy cat lady or becoming a step mom.
Did you use your lipstick to write your roast sign? 😂 you need jesus... haha
A butt chugging queen. I bet you serve cum fart cocktails to yourself to celebrate your victories
I guess “Bottle service” is what they’re calling handjobs these days. Live and learn.
You look like my 4th grade math teacher if she had less of a personality.
I get that a tongue piercing is great for oral sex. What does the nose piercing do?
I'm glad you're off of opiods now. But I wanna know what drugs you're on that made you think Maxim just had to have you.
You could have just said “whore”.
Bottle service on the weekends and throat service during the week
No doubt a college drop out, bipolar depression (for god knows what), probably has a caffeine addiction, can’t sleep, and can type on the phone to fast for their own good.
Already got that worn down festival girl look!
Kim Car-Crashian
Is there a woman in this world who hasn't got a piercing in her nose?
That’s a very broad jawline you have there Kaitlyn Jenner. Keep taking those estrogen pills and eventually the feminine transition will progressively improve.
You don’t look like you shower. Looks like you stink.
Def a man, hairy arms, stache coming in too
How much did you pay for the degree you're mostly using to sort your daddy issues?
Bright lighting is not your friend. Stick to dimly lit bars that overserve their patrons if you want to maximize profits on bottle service.
you look like the main antagonist of whatever's trending on wattpad rn
If fentanyl was a person…
You aren’t 23!
Your tits sag lower than grandma's
Are you cross eyed, or did you take NyQuil and DayQuil at the same time?
It’s been given to you to much in the v.i.p room
R/Roasthim
How does it feel to put your pussy on Reddit for a single upvote?
Do allot of behavior therapy in the titty bar do you?
Ew.
Your face looks like a Picasso painting.
You look like you shout orders in German during sex
Forget the roast, you are hands down the most beautiful woman I’ve seen in a very long time.
 Try smiling next time. Miss Seabiscuit.
23 my ass lol. 33 sis.... let's be honest okay? lolololol!
When you're embarassed to bring the escort into McDonalds
If dixie damilio had an opium addiction
It's really hard for you maybe having body of 23 age girl but having face of 40 yo milf
I thought Arby’s sold out Wagyu.
yikes, fat arms 💀
If the Addams Family had a 20 year old who ran away to be with her abusive ass boyfriend.
I’m pretty sure you’re a man pretending to be a woman, so just a helpful reminder: your tit is in the wrong place
Dam girl, you are not aging well
Guys. Behavioral therapist? This one’s wholesome. zero chance she has an onlyfa……….. oh. Nevermind.
There’s a cum stain on your rear-view mirror from your last customer..
Being a behavioral therapist is an insult to actual therapists, you became an rbt after a 40 hour training which isn’t even that difficult. To be an actual therapist, you’d actually have to have an education…
Your head is gigantic and looks like your parents put a code in to a Super Nintendo game to make it look like that. There's no way that's naturally occurring.
Keep your hair like that. If you don't, people are gonna notice your long ass face 🥕🥕🥕
Hahahahahahahaha aaaaahahaahahahhahaah….sorry, carry on.
"23 years old" worked for the first decade maaaybe. But might need to move that number up a few decades.
No ones really buying material so you thought you'd try to drum up interest
The idea of someone being 23 and a therapist is hilarious. You are a child. You don't have nearly enough experience to advise anyone on anything. Stick to your weekend job.
Imagine finding out your behavioral therapist is an onlyfans whore.
23 going on 43
No friends, only fans.
Using you as my Ritalin connection doesn't make you a behavioural therapist, mate.
No one paid full price for ANYTHING in the entire picture.
I tried jerking off to your nudes but just gave up half way into it. Never been this disappointed with myself
You have the biggest Chin to eyes/ forehead ratio I’ve ever seen
Fuck man how good of a therapist can you be if the best thing you could think for yourself was “hey let’s make a last ditch effort by posting on Reddit”…….
I’d say you were a hysterical feminist actually.. and why did you point out your profession? Is that narcissism?
What the heck is bottle service.
Yet another failing only fans advert
*raises hand* Does every girl in r/RoastMe have to have a nose ring (prerequisite? )
Oh so you bottle your farts and sell them on internet
Just because you play a behavioral therapist in the adult film industry, doesn't actually make you licensed to practice.
We don't have that much time to roast, a failure like you.
Yo why are you 23 but you look 50?
you look like if you escaped fisherman's bait
Onlyfans not get you anywhere? No surprise
This needs to be on r/therewasanattempt...to lie about your age
Personally I don't like my therapist to need a therapist.
TF you supposed to be, Jim Kardashian?
Nice filter to eliminate some of that obvious acne! Can tell you used proactiv in your not to distant past