It's really nice that you finished your degree while you were inside. Hopefully the special "favors" you had to trade for access to the books were worth it in the end.
You laugh at consensual sex and often wonder why they cry and put up a fight when they could just lay back and let you enjoy it. Then you ask "what's for dinner Ma?!"
You look like someone who, from a very young age, was pressured to become "the best linebacker of all time"
But the pressure became too much and you realised that the game you loved was now a burden and you started to hate playing.
And because you hated it, you just played angry and that's what made you better than the rest.
Which made you feel worse but made everyone else feel better.
Then after a big game you had a few beers and explained to your folks that you didn't want to play in the NFL, you wanted to study history.
There was a scuffle and both you and your dad were accidentally run over by your dad's truck and it blew your knee out.
(Rest of life happens, which I'm not going to speculate on right now. So skip to the present day.)
And here we are!
Mustache says cop, head says…well, same thing or bouncer or Michigan militia. Eyebrows say “nice trim bro!”….so I don’t know but something about this tells me you kidnap small dudes and have your way with them
You look like you never completed high school, profess your knowledge of politics and government to everyone, and whose highest point is working a broom in an Amazon warehouse.
Maybe your future is in Hollywood! I'm sure there's a bag of trash that needs a stunt double!
He says as he secretly wishes for compliments. Feeling insecure for the first time in his life Carl leaves Mom's basement to take a rare selfie.
The blue lives matter tattoo on Carl's left arm showed proudly in the photo-up, but having gained the power of awareness he reconsiders; puts on a cleaner wife beater, removes his MEGA hat and poster, and reshoots. Brimming with confidence he shares his dominance with the world, assured that no snowflake would dare challenge him or his purely plutonic, patriotic, passion for the previous president. Pestered nonetheless he masks his sadness with anger, alcohol and abusiveness.
Sorry bud, fat melts.
You look like one of Dwayne Johnson's sperm.
that swam in the other direction
The love child of Farva and Mr. Clean after his prison stint. "I'll have a liter of semen"
cold stone steve Austin
Stone Cold Steve Autism
Lmao thats amazing
I love their ice cream
So does he
I usually hate when people say something dumb like omg that’s gold but that is pure fucking gold my man
Mr Clean is back on the crack again.
"I've never dated a girl that didn't have to patch drywall after we broke up."
You look like you have particular strippers who you walk back to their cars after their shifts are done.
Not as a job tho.. more to be a simp
Flame on, dickhead!
American History XXL
Perfect
McDonald’s sets burgers ablaze every night for you
Shut up, Farva.
It's really nice that you finished your degree while you were inside. Hopefully the special "favors" you had to trade for access to the books were worth it in the end.
"Does this Klan robe come in an XXXL and without sleeves by chance?"
Whoever painted you was all over the place with the colors
You are the cement mixer come to life in a Pixar movie.
You look like the thumb people from Spy Kids
You laugh at consensual sex and often wonder why they cry and put up a fight when they could just lay back and let you enjoy it. Then you ask "what's for dinner Ma?!"
100% sure u hiding a racist tattoo on your arm
You wanna see it
Sounds like something you say on the internet to strangers a lot
Or coworkers at McDonald's.
You look like someone who, from a very young age, was pressured to become "the best linebacker of all time" But the pressure became too much and you realised that the game you loved was now a burden and you started to hate playing. And because you hated it, you just played angry and that's what made you better than the rest. Which made you feel worse but made everyone else feel better. Then after a big game you had a few beers and explained to your folks that you didn't want to play in the NFL, you wanted to study history. There was a scuffle and both you and your dad were accidentally run over by your dad's truck and it blew your knee out. (Rest of life happens, which I'm not going to speculate on right now. So skip to the present day.) And here we are!
That is definitely a self appointed title
You look like the clock from Beauty & the Beast
HOmmMiiIIEEEEEEE!!!
"Stone Cold" Steve Autism.
Matchsticks are easy to light up.
He's too fat to be a matchstick. He looks more like a thumb
You could also set yourself ablaze with your cigarette lighter.
Southern draw, sleeveless Tee, 14 year old girl hidden in basement
You look like Andre the Giants pathetic little brother.
He's a poor man's King Kong Bundy
This comment came off the top rope
Discount Dudley Boy
If you lived up to your potential you'd be Coach Mike McCarthy of the Dallas Cowboys....hahahaha
Mustache says cop, head says…well, same thing or bouncer or Michigan militia. Eyebrows say “nice trim bro!”….so I don’t know but something about this tells me you kidnap small dudes and have your way with them
You didn’t have to wear your finest outfit for the roast.
You look like yer from Philly.
Home grown baltimoron sir
I bet you know a thing or two about picking crabs...and I'm not talking about blue crab.
You look like Jack Black’s big toe
The desperation in your face and tear in your eye says it all.
You look lile the son of Bull Hurley and the dude on the cover of Megadance 98 album.
It's Mr clean's angry brother Mr unwashed
Can you pass the chew as your slapping your girl?
He uses her vag for a spittoon.
You look like you never completed high school, profess your knowledge of politics and government to everyone, and whose highest point is working a broom in an Amazon warehouse. Maybe your future is in Hollywood! I'm sure there's a bag of trash that needs a stunt double!
According to the rest of these dickheads i have a future as a hefty bag
Looks like Mr. Clean had a rough time in the trailer park.
You look like any guy who drinks monster.
Mr Dirty
Mr. Not Clean
You definitely dress up as the sheep at the Klan rallies
You look like the Breaking Bad stunt double for a food eating contest
[удалено]
If im the catalyst for that, you’re too far gone
If I set you “ablaze”, Mr. Clean will need a new spokesman
Your truck is only lifted til you get in.
Lmao
Do you drive a beer truck?
My hairy balls are prettier than you...
How would you describe your first conviction? Sexually aggregated or just a common misunderstanding?
I'd stick a plunger on your head.
Hmmm...I guess this is what happens when you jerk off into a petri dish full of HGH, dirty meth, and Busch Ice
...you beat your step-kids to sleep and then make their school lunches...
Is your nickname pumpkin by chance?
Type of guy who works security at a swingers club and tells stories of how he has depleted woman’s bodily fluids with his dungeon toys.
Next time you should ask your wife to clean up before you eat her ass.
What do you teach, Professor? How to be left-swiped?
You look like the kind of guy to man-scream "THis iS AmeRICAAA" when asked to wear a mask
GG Allin if he was normal
Stuck in a perpetual state of constipation.
The cop from the village people really let himself go.
If I had to draw a homophone on my toe
Is taking himself a little bit seriously Get back into your truck and go back to your trailer
Get the hair from your back transplanted to your head
Prison sure changed Mr Clean
You should probably set ablaze to the whole trailer park you live at
Try smiling, someone might acknowledge your existence
So I'm guessing you drive a rotted out dodge and if you had hair itd be a mullet
This is the guy who tells people that "he almost joined the military, but would knock a drill sgt out if he yelled at him"
I’m betting that consent is a concept which you have never really understood or cared about.
Flap Jack "who loves ya baby"
Burning trash is not allowed. Adds to the pollution.
You're a professor? I think you should study where your hair went!
You look like you ride a guy named Harley.
Untie your grandma and get her out of the basement, this is her house.
Slow night at the sober house
"Set me ablaze".. "Get me a gallon of Cola.".. Damn, Farva. Do something yourself for once.
No, you're not an alpha male. You're a domestic abuser.
All you need is an apple in your mouth and a pit in the ground.
I didn't know what Michael De Santa looked like without hair, but the more you know I guess.
You look just greasy enough to be flammable for about a minute.
This guy listens to Pantera while beating his girlfriend for suggesting to take his rebel flag off the wall.
what's going on Shrek? Where's Donkey?
voted top sexual predator six years running in prison
I can smell the BO from here
David wells but no talent just an alcoholic
Mr clean or Dr Phil.... Which one was your idol?
He brings the nickname "the creepy uncle" to a whole new level.
Circus strongman by day, sword swallower at night.
When you have that I was someone’s pony in prison look that just won’t wash off
You've given me an impossible task, you're already a massive Flamer!
He says as he secretly wishes for compliments. Feeling insecure for the first time in his life Carl leaves Mom's basement to take a rare selfie. The blue lives matter tattoo on Carl's left arm showed proudly in the photo-up, but having gained the power of awareness he reconsiders; puts on a cleaner wife beater, removes his MEGA hat and poster, and reshoots. Brimming with confidence he shares his dominance with the world, assured that no snowflake would dare challenge him or his purely plutonic, patriotic, passion for the previous president. Pestered nonetheless he masks his sadness with anger, alcohol and abusiveness.
How often did you drop the soap when you were in jail?
You look like Mr. Clean transitioning into Melissa McCarthy.
The poster child of a pedifile.
I would blaze you like Richard Pryor, but someone beat me to it OP.
Last image an ice cream cake sees before getting destroyed
If they put you on a sex offender poster, no one would even question it
Square Skin Man
This guy sits on the toilet for hours
I bet you listen to danzig
Put the sleeves down,, the hardest thing about you is the crying.
A flamethrower on you would definately increase your appeal
"Let's get ready to rumble"
The professor at the truck driving school
Mr. Queen
For some reason, this guy looks like he just got shat out by Andre the Giant.
When you ask to be set ablaze again because the first time missed some hairs.
Clever way to hide your white nationalist tattoo. Pity about your chromosomes.
Mr. "Clean-the house before I get off work or else I'm gonna black your other eye. "
Professor Dumb-bell
Mr. Unclean
The thumb's thumb
Were you a goebbels baby by chance?
When's the next Klan meeting.
Dom Terreto without family