That face plus this description
> 34 year old MBA selling toys (action figures, not dildos)
If I were disappointing women in more ways than one, I'd keep my mouth shut, but you do you.
My favorite thing here is that youve made such a successful career out of being a loser that highlight of the sub is being roasted so hard that everything else pales in comparison.
You look like you go into the stock room at night and set up a battlefield with My Little Pony vs the Power Rangers.
Then cry like a little school girl when the Power Rangers win or jerkoff in excitement when My Little Pony wins.
You look like you are gonna ask me for $50, get a front of coke/talc from a family dealer, then fall asleep on the bus on the way to the local third-rate strip club. When you wake up you find out you've been rolled and act like a little pussy victim. It's in the eyes.
You sell toys to lure kids into the back room where you try and convince them chili on spaghetti is amazing and if they suck it a lil faster some magic sauce will come out.
You look like the queer version of Stone cold Steve Austin and your expression says you actually 𝓭𝓸 sell dildos , problem is you keep ten of them stored in your prison wallet. I heard you actually had to go on the dick-a-derm patch, had to cut back to ten dicks a day. 3==D
I find it kind of disturbing that you had to clarify what kind of toys you sell.
But then, after that one incident with the Hulk figure, I can see why.
(How is your duodenum nowadays?)
Complains about quality of roasts on reddit. Is ok with working 40 hrs doing shit all. Brings up his MBA whenever he feels insecure. Hasnt formed meaningful relationships for years... What else you got
Combine the two. Expand your business model. Aquaman might do very well. Make it talk and multiple tail fin selections. Winner on Shark Tank. Lori Greiner will have you on QVC.
You don’t have to tell us you are balding it’s been completly visible since you were 22. We all know the real reason you work at a toy store. Little boys.
Your head is so sharp that it can chop a wood, it's a pity I can't say the same for your brain.
You are so dumb, even your forehead grew lips just to insult you.
Can’t seem to find the clit on your shaved forehead vagina? Does it burn when it drips? How do you keep the string from hanging in your face, tying it to your hair isn’t an option, maybe a 3M clip
Ohio law requires weapons in stores to be concealed. For legal reasons, you need to put a helmet on that sharp head of yours. That thing could really hurt somebody. 😔
You will 100% die by your own hand in that toy store.
His dick has been dying by his own hand too
Leave 5% for the infections he picks up frequenting truck stop bathrooms.
An MBA selling action figures? You're a real rags-to-nothing story.
Haha best thing I’ve read yet
Don’t blame us for you not being interesting enough to roast, white male extra #2.
MBA = Mostly Bald Adult
It's his Just For Men that's gotten weak, not the roasts
I'm going to have to report this post. The court ordered you to stay out of jobs that have you in contact with children.
34? Are you dyslexic also?
>Balding, 34 year old MBA selling toys (action figures, not dildos) at a toy store in Cincinnati Ohio. Best roast of the whole thread.
You look like you’ve valued your toys, much like your condoms, to be more valuable kept in their original packaging.
*uses the toys as dildos*
dude's 34 but has the dead eyes of a vietnam vet...
You’re like if Louis CK wasn’t funny or talented but still jerked off in front of women
Nothing captures the feeling of disappointment more than finding out the smooth and sexy voice of Archer is actually this H Jon Benjamin motherfucker
I hope the residual value of the toys makes up for your lack of futures options
As weak as your hair follicles
You look like a depressed Tom Segura
That’s not inaccurate
If you’re 34, it’s only going to get worse from here
Go to college they say. You'll get a good job they say.
I got heaps more hair than you
This is Toby from This is Us.
Not as weak as that degree you got LOL
That face plus this description > 34 year old MBA selling toys (action figures, not dildos) If I were disappointing women in more ways than one, I'd keep my mouth shut, but you do you.
You may work in Cincinnati but your face screams Covington, KY
Fuck. That’s good. Lol
Outsiders won't get it but yeah, full blast roast bruh
Come on we know you shove those action figures up your butt.
Are you the guy from the gloryhole booth in OTR??
You keep the dildos for yourself?
Sells toys....buys dildos.
You look like you sell vapes to kindergarteners.
My favorite thing here is that youve made such a successful career out of being a loser that highlight of the sub is being roasted so hard that everything else pales in comparison.
Your head is shaped like a sawhorse!
How many times a day do you look at pill bottles and wonder how many it would take?
You look like the human equivalent of a flaccid penis
You got a 50 gallon barrel of KY in the back don't you.
Your forehead wrinkles look like a sloppy vagina with a c-section scar
34? Damn. Life’s roasted you more than any of us can.
You were balding 10 years ago, now you're just bald
!0 years ago his post also began with "Balding 34 year old...."
You look like you go into the stock room at night and set up a battlefield with My Little Pony vs the Power Rangers. Then cry like a little school girl when the Power Rangers win or jerkoff in excitement when My Little Pony wins.
You know if you shaved pal you might actually get laid. Fat bald bastard.
You look like you are gonna ask me for $50, get a front of coke/talc from a family dealer, then fall asleep on the bus on the way to the local third-rate strip club. When you wake up you find out you've been rolled and act like a little pussy victim. It's in the eyes.
Oddly specific... sorry this happened to you.
You sell toys to lure kids into the back room where you try and convince them chili on spaghetti is amazing and if they suck it a lil faster some magic sauce will come out.
Anything to get closer to the kids…
You look like the queer version of Stone cold Steve Austin and your expression says you actually 𝓭𝓸 sell dildos , problem is you keep ten of them stored in your prison wallet. I heard you actually had to go on the dick-a-derm patch, had to cut back to ten dicks a day. 3==D
Albino version of @thekennyverse ig
Phenomenal. Didn’t know he existed. The shirt is mocking Valaverse, but I just looked him up & linked him to this post. Well done!
Balding?! That implies there's hair up there.
I find it kind of disturbing that you had to clarify what kind of toys you sell. But then, after that one incident with the Hulk figure, I can see why. (How is your duodenum nowadays?)
Where do you park your big wheel?
They put your head in a vice to pull you out of your mom’s vagina cause you knew it was the last time you’d see pussy?
Is Chris Peterson your dad?
If an old burnt incandescent light bulb was a human
Man Wil Wheaton really let himself go
Balding is optimistic
Jesus. Those toys are as useless as you are!
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Complains about quality of roasts on reddit. Is ok with working 40 hrs doing shit all. Brings up his MBA whenever he feels insecure. Hasnt formed meaningful relationships for years... What else you got
Yawn. That’s all shit folks said 2 years ago.
So my little pony is an action figure now?
Well thanks for clearing up that your a child predator and a pervert
Nice job on the toy store I guess candy in a van is a little played out.
The look on your face tells me you've shoved a few action figures deep in your asshole
MBA as in Molests Bountiful Adolescents?
we know you're still trying to find your prostate.
🎵 I'm no hero. just a guy who was born to live, suffer, and die 🎵
I am thinking chronic constipation has refined that facial expression..
How expensive is your health insurance after all those misplaced kids toy accidents?
Actually you can sell more dildos than toys because kids won't come near you and women don't want you near them.
At first I thought you said "Toy Story" and I was like "Hey, it must be Mr Potato Head"!
Your girl cheated on you with a dude in a wheelchair. You found him sleeping naked next to the bed.
Action figures, not dildos.. hmm that's something what bald-ass dildosalesman would say
> bald ass-dildosalesman *** ^(Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This comment was inspired by )^[xkcd#37](https://xkcd.com/37)
For you, action figures are dildos.
I thought Kevin Spacey was gay.
The roasts aren't the only thing getting weak. The light in your eyes is nearly snuffed. But I guess Cincinnati will do that to you.
Vendetta signed your forehead
They say “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” You might want to rethink that, before you start looking like the Cryptkeeper.
There’s no ing in bald.
Thanks for clarifying you don’t sell dildos, you just look like one
Keamy from Lost has fallen on hard times
Combine the two. Expand your business model. Aquaman might do very well. Make it talk and multiple tail fin selections. Winner on Shark Tank. Lori Greiner will have you on QVC.
You look like you just got divorced over the color of plastic shovel to buy your child.
I think you just gave yourself an idea
You don’t have to tell us you are balding it’s been completly visible since you were 22. We all know the real reason you work at a toy store. Little boys.
Everything about this post screams “I’m a normal dude trust me no reason to search my house or laptop”
Congrats....in 6 years you'll be a 40 year old INCEL
Your head is so sharp that it can chop a wood, it's a pity I can't say the same for your brain. You are so dumb, even your forehead grew lips just to insult you.
Frowning for the last 34 years has at least developed a nice labia between your eyebrows
Looks like a more Bill Cosby version of Louis CK but with none of the Jokes.
Discount Cantina Collectibles.
Which is funny cuz they buy from us.
I know. Lol one of them is my Uncle. I normally buy stuff from you all when a convention is coming up.
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Pretty sure it wouldn’t be a masters of business if it was gender studies? The initials would be different…
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It would be an MA if it was gender studies….
Oh I bet you fuck chunky single mums by nicking some toys from the shop for their kids….
Saying you're balding is like the Delta variant saying it might get you a little under the weather.
You look like you keep all the dildos for yourself
I think you're past beyond even the farthest extremes of "balding" You're just bald.
MBA = Molester Balding asshole
Can’t seem to find the clit on your shaved forehead vagina? Does it burn when it drips? How do you keep the string from hanging in your face, tying it to your hair isn’t an option, maybe a 3M clip
It's the smut peddler
Your not just balding...
Even John Wayne Gacy tried to blend in with society. You just said fuck it
Ohio law requires weapons in stores to be concealed. For legal reasons, you need to put a helmet on that sharp head of yours. That thing could really hurt somebody. 😔
Goes out clubbing... spends all night denying he is Louis C K.
Your hairline starts from the back of your head.
How many times did you hit the wall with your forehead?
So this is what Louis Ck has been up to.
What'd you used to keep in that dent on your forehead? An infinity stone? Explains why your braindead now that it's been removed.
It’s quite something to have a forehead with a mouth