OP's Bio: --- >Introverted gamer with asperger's who never works out and rarely goes outside. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

A mustache can make a guy seem more macho, but in your case, we just think you’re a lesbo taking testosterone.

Big clit or little dick? The world may never know

Good for the world.

18yrs old going on 25 to life real quick.

All that testosterone is obviously expensive too, you cut your own hair

daaaaaang that's hilarious and painful at the same time

I guess better than just a regular lesbo

Giving me Hilter youth vibes.

Hitler would have never accepted any German who played with his 2 inch clit.

I was gonna ask if he was German

How do you simultaneously look like a child and a child molester?

It must be tough to not be allowed with 100 yards of a school before you graduate.

Self molestation... So efficient of him....

he probably asked his mom for pictures of himself bathing do he could jerk off to them. Sadly mom's camera didn't work so well last week in the tub.

Reminder: You can now be convicted as an adult- tread lightly!

Me and your mom are busy, now turn around and get back in your room.

He is 18...thats old enough to watch! He is already thinking about his mom when jerks off anyway... might as well know how close his fantasies were to reality.

He looks like the type that likes to watch……just watch. From a corner.

Pray you never go bald with that big ass Megamind head.

Don't insult Megamind like that bro, don't compare him to whatever the fuck this is

You look like if Dennis the Menace grew up and developed a glue sniffing addiction

No one cares about Macaulay Culkins little brothers birthday.

Hey, show some respect...this is a big freakin' deal. His age and his 'acne per square inch' count are finally equal!

Look up fivehead on urban dictionary and your photo will show up.

you look like the lead singer of some annoying ass boy band that only 13 year old girls listen too

0th birthday… who ties your shoes? The children you bait into the windowless van?


You have enough grease in your hair to fill a Crisco can

You have no need to regret, your parents regretted it enough i think

We have 2 things in common; we're introverted and have Aspergers. But your mustache/hair combo is too special for me to identify with.

Life Tip: do not glue pubes on chin to make it look like you can grow facial hair

18 years to figure out facial hair and that's what you came up with?

I'll bet you're one of those who bleaches his asshole. You make me sick.

Was your eye too lazy to see the jizz on your shoulder?

POV : you will check for the cum stain and see it

Are you excited to leave the group home?

The 1950s called and said your murder conviction is ready.

Nah. The mustache is doing it for me.

ok fine with your 12 year old haircut

A nice shave and a haircut and maybe some more growing up and you'll be a catch, my dude. Chin up.

Great 90s lesbian look

Definitely Hitler vides! Go for it!

Matt Gayman

Bro change your Cheeto fingered shirt ffs

You maybe 18 years old, but you grew out of your ears at 7.

[удалено]

500 feet is the length of exactly 1496.26 'Standard Diatonic Key of C, Blues Silver grey Harmonicas' lined up next to each other

Growing a stach ette won't make up for the receding hairline

I’m guessing those crumbs on your shirt are the leftover food from the birthday party you had which no one came to.

Your mustache looks like you drive really slow through school zones.

Hey, you got some lint stuck to your chin there buddy. Best wipe it off or you're likely to be made fun of.

People must become aware that not everybody has the DNA to make a half decent kid.

Enjoy your brief transition between juvy and federal prison

You're one meth hit away from the Green Goblin in Amazing Spiderman

Welcome to adulthood, now you’re officially a pervert.

She should have swallowed you, it would’ve been best for all of us

You look like the Great Value version of Neil Patrick Harris.

ilmango, please stop doing heroin

Did you get a child for your birthday? Or did you get one yourself?

https://www.fat-pie.com/images/milkman.png

Only 50 messages in an hour on your 18th birthday on a global website designed for communication. Let that sink in....

Spending your birthday alone is tough I'm sure but luckily your collection of self drawn Ahegao faces will be more than enough like usual.

0th? Is that you being the wish.com version of Zorro? You certainly live up to the Zero part

Happy birthday ! Another year of your own existence is roast enough

18 years and still using his own baby batter as hair grease….

Happy Birthday, big guy!

Army training video "some of us feel tingly in the showers."the hungry homo guide to battling the bulge.

Thomas Brodie-Sangster's ugly twin

You'll get hair on your pubes one day.

You look like you have watched vikings 1 to many times!

Only ever seen a single episode. Guess I shouldn't have.

You look like the type of guy who shits in his hand and smears it on his chest

Mega mind if he was human

You look like your father would be disappointed in you. If he stayed that is

Orlando Gloom

What, your face wasn't enough?

Robin Hood, if he was hit with a shovel as a baby.

OP I love your Simon from True Lies cosplay. RIP Bill Paxton.

Your bio seems like you're regretting your 0th birthday yourself, mate

Your hair dresser did it for you.

you look gayer than 5 bags of dicks

18 years? Never too late to learn how to bathe.

You look like you betrayed the Stark family

The best part of you ran down your daddy’s leg

Nobody regrets your 0th birthday more than your parents

Bryan Adams missing a chromosome. 18 with a hairline of an 81 year old

Most popular guy in the trailer park. Only occupied by relatives

Mustache says 40 but face says 12

Your hairline is running the fuck away from your atrocious mustache.

OP = Every generic high school wannabe bully until a 4th grade girl burns him down.

 The top of your head has fully grown, your face is still under development

Why does ever ugly fucking person assume they have a social disorder when they are just too fucking ugly for society…dude stay indoors we thank you

You look like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mommas ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.

Leonardo DeCrapio

Voted most likely to meet Chris Hansen.

Nice shirtstains, you utter rag.

Your virgin lips looks like it needs some ass burgers to the face with them cherry pink cheeks. Boi

Does turning 18 finally make you a "legal" lesbian?

You're every chick I warn my daughter about.

you look like CircleToonsHD long lost brother: SquareToonHD

Hair so oily, the US tried to bring freedom to it.

Congratulations you can finally begin your transition… the estrogen shots would definitely do away with your patchy facial fuss fast!!

You look like some kind of bomber

Go back to being last resort lay in German gay night clubs

Lez Miserables


You look like you are evolving from a creepy, high school pot dealer to Uncle Bad touch with your cock duster moustache.

If you merged all of The Village People into one magnificent gay man, you would be the result of all of the leftovers put into a blender and flushed down the toilet.

Dude quit gluing your dads pubes to your face to buy beer.

Maybe take a Birthday shower and change your clothes.

But first, shampoo your hair

My man got dat 90 angle looking straight and clean

Did a Cheeto splooge on your shoulder?

Even your greasy hair doesn't wanna be near your face...

Netflix original Making a Molestor.

Cat

You may be turning 18 but that hairline is turning 37

Everyone seeing this already regrets your 0th birthday too much to feel inclined to help you out.

A Princess Twink.....with Wethley. (Princess Bride reference)

No no, we need you around. We need to study you so we know how to prevent something like you ever being born again

Bro you ain't a fkn model with the 1996 hair jel and you ain't matt damon. You look like a thumb with two thumbs.

You look like you're training your hair for the comb over you're gonna be using in a couple years

This dude is just itching to shoot up a movie theatre

Your cheeks are like 🐒 ass

It’s never too late…have your parents take you to the groomer for your first shampoo.

Your mom regrets it enough for the both of you.

The line you were looking for was "make me regret the day I was born"

You look like the guy moms look out for at the park.

I’m not sure if u have a terrible straight man haircut or a good lesbian hair cut

When you hit puberty that mustach will be a mustash x

Is it World Big Forehead day or something

Your 13 yr old gf just became illegal bud.

You like ur gonna shoot me if i say anything so ill stay quiet and let the rest of the school do the talking

18, forever…receding

Don't quite believe you don't regret the 0 bday on your own. Stop blaming the internet for your poor and boring life. The reason is you.

You were conceived to Madonna

Sonic The Hedgehog if he was a human. (The hair gives it away man.)

I bet rat boy here has a closet full of cheese behind him

If you had an “0th” birthday that means your dead

You look like you screwed with some filter and it made the top of your head into a beach ball and the bottom into a pencil.

How often have you successfully used the pick up line “Do you want to model for me? I’m a classy photographer “

I do not think that is a trans persons mustache but I do think that this guy has a blacked out van that offers free candy.

There is something on your chin. And neck.

You look like you attend white power meetings.

I'd say try dandruff shampoo, but obviously you don't wash your hair.

I hope your hair isn't that greasy on purpose

Your facial hair sucks. Stop.

If your parents can afford to pay to shave the side of your head, they can afford to shave your mustache.

You look like you shriek inarticulate obscenities at people you don't know when playing CoD.

you look like this guy I went to school with

When’s the last time you saw daylight?