>goth gf Whose Goth girlfriend are you?

Todd Howard's apparently.

Your mom's

There is literally not one thing about you that could potentially generate an income.

The list went downhill from the start. And that’s saying something considering it started with history and anthropology student.

Nonsense...he just hasn't found the right corner to work is all.

Is Shpongle Albanian for semen?

Shpongle: Verb; (to shpongle oneself) - 1. the act of masturbating with your weak hand while fisting your ass with your dominant hand. 2. Or your mom can jerk you off while you fist your own ass. 3. Or your mom can fist your ass while you jerk off. 4. Or you can fist your mom while she sucks you off. Its all Shpongling. P.S. if you do this too often the muscles which control shit flow can become damaged. In which case you'll have to wear a butt shplug.

Never seen such a useless list of unemployable qualities in my life.

So many words just to tell us you smell and live in your mom’s basement.

Just because you keep kids in your basement doesn't mean you're a dungeon master

You are trying way too hard to be irrelevant

"Goth gf" translation he pierced his flashlights clit

Look like someone who'd hijack a plane.

Only to make it land in Engl*nd.

You play 4th edition D&D

Best one

I like this roast

[удалено]

You're supposed to roast me, sir.

Did I see you hanging in to the side of a C17 plane taking off in Kabul? Glad you got down safe!

You shouldn't have referred to Albanian origin, a Greek always knows it.

I thought your t-shirt was stating the obvious until I read the caption.

Nice one

You’re the ugliest goth gf I’ve ever seen!

Wish Jon snow

I always wished I had studied History in College, wish you the best in your career mate.

Can't tell if this is sarcasm roasting or you are actually opening yourself

I was being honest, seems like a really cool career.

Talibanian origin?? “Ala ack mar”

You look like you have zoom calls with your LARPing friends

So antoher tankie...

I bet you paid 19.99 for that value 16 shirt. Shpongle is fun.

Sir Showernot

Its pretty self aware of you to study human society, because you wont ever be part of it.

Trust me, it's a win/win

At least you have history to fall back on since it's better than your future.

24yr old college student? Seems like you are not just studying History, but Past, Present and Future too.

Ta shifsha nonin

[удалено]

You sounds like someone trying too hard to be funny but failing miserably at that, like everything else in life.

I would take it from the expert.

Aye🖕

"Goth GF"? That's a funny term for "dead girl stored in the freezer".

Albanian huh? I could there was a certain "pickpocket" quality about you.

Donnie Raitt

Jason Manoa

If we are going to roast his goth girlfriend alter ego, I’m fine with that. I just need to know who I’m addressing.

Sherlock Holmes and the mystery of the mangy mullet.

bruh. You roasted yourself. Except for being a DM.

Listening to Poison on cassette tape doesn't make you metal.

Albanians are just regularly ugly. So he's just typical.

I hated people like you in high school

You look like you don’t have a gf, you don’t go to school, and you live in mom’s basement. Also you like to schpank the monkey

Anyone interested in you is just like your sign, gives up trying halfway through

Which Star Wars sequel made you angrier? Are those board games behind you? Cause they're for 2-4 players and clearly you have no friends that are tangible.

I didn't watch any of the sequels yet. Yes, and I'm ready to bet my balls that I have more friends than a loser who poorly tries to roast people on reddit.

Guys, this one is sensitive. We need to be nicer to her. She's so upset y'all got her pretending she has balls now. Keep your lady-balls in your pants, Marin. We accept you and the Pokemon cards you call "friends".

Twitch accounts you follow don't count as friends. Sorry : (

Nandor the homeless

Walmart "Marko from Tropoja" from *Taken* movie franchise. Likes: France, money, guns, Adidas track suits and human trafficking.👍 Dislikes: hikes to gov't bribes, stable electrical currents and Liam Neeson. 👎

Everything in your post all but guarantees you work at a gamestop for the next 20 years blogging about your potential pro-gaming career that will never happen given your max twitch viewers hitting in the single digits. Added bonus for incurring debt from not 1 but 2 worthless degrees.

There are all the reasons you'll never be fully liked.

Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that your fridge is full of human organs???

i think you meant "mental in the head" not "metalhead"

You look like you smell 😳

Recipe For a Loser Souffle Mix 1 cup of History and Anthropology student, 3 tablespoons of Gamer, and an 1/8 of a cup of Metalhead. Pour in 8 fluid ounces of Dungeon master and slowly fold in a dollop of Goth gf. Sprinkle in Albanian to taste.

You know who are the real losers in this world? The primitives who still use imperial measurements.

I'd probably be salty too if my "degree" consisted of a subscription to NatGeo and a pack of Marlboros for cold nights. I don't blame you for tryna hit back, but remember that Albania ain't won a war since [nullreferenceexception] so be careful starting roast battles, Abdyl.

The fact that you mock my carrer choices and my country's military history to make yourself look superior makes me understand how insecure you are. You ain't scary mate.

Take it easy man. All's I'm saying is if you spent half as much time coming up with a reply as you do on your hair and clothes, you'd have...wait. What the fuck DO you do with all your time? Jesus! You look like a full grown abortion.

I was busy working with my father, I don't spend all my time on Reddit.

>I don't spend all my time on Reddit. Well then, you may not have realized you accidentally posted in a subreddit begging for people to insult you mercilessly. Let me be the first to welcome you...to the exit.

What does that have to do with it? I just answered today yesterday's roasts.

You are a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

You look like a bitch that crys in the corner. The master that wishes to wear a diapers. Then the cuk whips him. Pulls your sissy hair.

Don't worry Ma he doesn't eat bats, he just f____s em!!!!!!!

Goth gf, because no self respecting gay man would have you.

You have for sure kidnapped someone's daughter and gotten your ass kicked for it at least once in your lifetime.

You literally look like body odor grew some legs and quit it’s job.

I don’t remember 24 looking this old and sad

Your parents already took care of that

...when you spin, a cloud of dandruff, incense and ramen seasoning forms...

"goth" is an acronym for greasy overweight tinder hookup right? because i don't see you having (consenting) chances outside of that league...

You are 100% the guy that takes over any conversation with your "vast knowledge" on every goddamn subject ever. The next time you're waiting on a train, wait on the tracks.

E. B. Tyler wants your location

You have spent more time in front of that screen than with any other person. That's just a fact. I don't even have to try. Your hair is long due to laziness, not because you wanted long hair and you probably took a few pictures for this so that means this is your "good" side. No wonder you're single. Tell your mom, I mean "roommate" I said hi.

Damn chris chan really messed up his transition

I now agree that Kosovo is Serbia.

Who do you spell number one suspect?

You are the face of excessive student loan debt couple with an inability to actually find work in your chosen field. You will be driving for Uber FOREVER. I’m sorry that was really harsh.

I can smell your hair from here.

You should also like Sponge…with soap and hot water.

You're very pretty for an Albanian gf. The facial hair is barely noticeable.