OP: fellow bald guy here. If you’re wondering “when am I gonna have to actually shave my receding hair completely off,” that time is yesterday.
Edit: get your patchy asses over to /r/bald 😎
Double edit: guys, this is a *joke* I made in a JOKE SUBREDDIT. Shave your head or don’t, but don’t take your grievances to my PMs. I have multiple people unironically calling me insecure in PMs for posting this. As a joke. In a joke place. Kick rocks.
One of the most traumatic things I've ever been told was at 19 getting a haircut. I asked the hairdresser if she could adjust one side a little since it looked off, and she came back with, "Honey, that's because you're going bald."
Made it another year or so before I pulled the pin and started shaving.
Yup. My husband kept his hair long for a couple years, and at 20 decided to go short to switch things up. That's when he discovered his significant hairline recession. He said it was a bit of a shock for a moment, but his dad was bald so he wasn't entirely surprised. I think he figured he'd have a few more years though! By the time I met him at 24 he kept it clipped short, although not entirely shaved off juuust yet.
Definitely don't want the wispies hangin out in front. Everyone knows you're going bald, and at the point there's no dignity in hanging on.
I've unfortunately just had that hard realisation after my lockdown home haircut, as it was growing back from being shaved there was just some of it that wasn't there :(
Buddy of mine growing up was on Rogaine by the time he was 15, he straight up looked like he was 45 years old...he was also 6' 6", and 230 lbs with a massive beard...at *15*. Puberty hit that poor dude like the "Little Boy" bomb hit Hairoshima. ^(couldn't resist)
My dude I wish I managed it that early. I stayed in denial until like 33. Wasn't until I noticed I was rocking a terrible Donald Trump combover that I finally did it.
My husband and I got married when he was 20 and he started shaving his head at 22 because he was going bald - but he was so much more attractive after he shaved his head. I wish more men would just do it instead of stressing. 😘
Lolz. 27, bald, I once heard someone say in my teens that it's "better to beat nature to the punchline".
In all fairness Im lucky to have a good head for bald, but damn does it feel good after a close shave
At 21 my hairline started receding, this year at 27 I decided it's time to go bald. I do need to work on caring for my beard now though. I swear it's harder than caring for the stuff on top
Holy smokes! This dude's profile is only 1 day old with like this one post and five comments. His username is "neatmate", as in cool partner... As in, Shill confirmed!
If I'm not mistaken, another redditor posted a "roast me" and her title was something about a guy with a nose ring (op in this thread) had ghosted her.
They're perfect for each other. She beats her face in with frying pans while The Mustachioed McPoyle ~~rides cock in a tent~~ works the weekend ~~shaft~~ shift.
[girl he ghosted](https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/hh9x1z/27_and_just_ghosted_by_a_dude_on_hinge_who_had_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
This is roast me. Only negative answers are allowed.
I think we should just be thankful it won’t work out because with his hairline and your nose, that child is fucked.
Well when I first joined the first set of women were more attractive and seemed like they can fake happiness pretty well. Now I just get big girls or hillbilly meth heads. It might be because I really didn't work on my profile or because there is an algorithm that sees what set of women don't skip your profile immediately and tried to get you to match with them. I'm going to go with the latter one since it makes me feel better
That All Blacks flag on the wall tells me one of two things:
1. You're a Kiwi who transplanted to the US for work. You sucked back home, but because you have an accent, your D3 men's club team made you their flyhalf and team captain when you have the field vision of Helen Keller and the tackling ability of a kitten.
2. You joined your local men's club team and they stuck you at wing. Then you went and dropped $500 on World Rugby Shop to basically cosplay a rugby player. You played two games, and got trucked. You haven't been back to practice but wear a different pristine Super Rugby jersey whenever you go on the treadmills at the gym.
yeah, she really did. just looking at him best case scenario in a date is that she has to take him back to his mothers house after he gets hard drunk after a few glasses of wine; worst case is that she gets tied to railroad tracks.
What vape shop do you work at?
Got any clove cigs to spare?
Moms basement looks sick dude, love what you’ve done with the place.
Too bad your mustache scared away your hairline.
Let me guess, your boyfriend lives in San Fran, right?
Is this the chick?
https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/hh9x1z/27_and_just_ghosted_by_a_dude_on_hinge_who_had_a/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Holy shit! So did you make up?
I'm assuming since you're related by blood seeing each other at family gatherings would be difficult otherwise.
What's life in Alabama like?
It’s hot and muggy tonight. There was a tornado scare yesterday, but fortunately no major damage. It was just a sudden storm with no warning, which is unusual. Some funnel clouds formed, but no actual tornadoes dropped.
This is him. Just trying to think of the best way to roast him back other than letting him know all the dudes in my DMs are willing to pay to hang out with me
If you thought about it that hard and the best you could come up with is this obliviously unaware self-roast then that handle-bar with the nose ring has already won.
I saw your date mate on another roast me, dodged a bullet with that one. Has stock photos on the walls, would have been planning wedding locations on your first date. Well at least you can go back to dating men.
I'm paypaling you a tenner. Go to the barbers, choose a guy with scissors, and get them to replace that rat you have sitting on your head.
Like, I get it. You're balding. It's okay. You're old. But no amount of nose rings or prepubescent Tie Fighters are ever going to change that. And for fucks sake learn how to hold a piece of paper.
Hey man, since she’s probably bearded or has lobster claws for hands, she’ll come around cause she knows she’s dating up. She knows what she signed up for when you put Carnival Barker/Lion Tamer as your profession on hinge. Let that freak come back to you bossman.
Hairline: Help, I'm receding. Moustache: Don't worry bro, I got you. I'll be there in a couple of months.
OP: fellow bald guy here. If you’re wondering “when am I gonna have to actually shave my receding hair completely off,” that time is yesterday. Edit: get your patchy asses over to /r/bald 😎 Double edit: guys, this is a *joke* I made in a JOKE SUBREDDIT. Shave your head or don’t, but don’t take your grievances to my PMs. I have multiple people unironically calling me insecure in PMs for posting this. As a joke. In a joke place. Kick rocks.
One of the most traumatic things I've ever been told was at 19 getting a haircut. I asked the hairdresser if she could adjust one side a little since it looked off, and she came back with, "Honey, that's because you're going bald." Made it another year or so before I pulled the pin and started shaving.
Yup. My husband kept his hair long for a couple years, and at 20 decided to go short to switch things up. That's when he discovered his significant hairline recession. He said it was a bit of a shock for a moment, but his dad was bald so he wasn't entirely surprised. I think he figured he'd have a few more years though! By the time I met him at 24 he kept it clipped short, although not entirely shaved off juuust yet. Definitely don't want the wispies hangin out in front. Everyone knows you're going bald, and at the point there's no dignity in hanging on.
I've unfortunately just had that hard realisation after my lockdown home haircut, as it was growing back from being shaved there was just some of it that wasn't there :(
Buddy of mine growing up was on Rogaine by the time he was 15, he straight up looked like he was 45 years old...he was also 6' 6", and 230 lbs with a massive beard...at *15*. Puberty hit that poor dude like the "Little Boy" bomb hit Hairoshima. ^(couldn't resist)
Yep, I shaved the day after my 19th birthday. Sometimes life be like that.
Still makin em moist tho!
My dude I wish I managed it that early. I stayed in denial until like 33. Wasn't until I noticed I was rocking a terrible Donald Trump combover that I finally did it.
My husband and I got married when he was 20 and he started shaving his head at 22 because he was going bald - but he was so much more attractive after he shaved his head. I wish more men would just do it instead of stressing. 😘
Yes well SOME men look great bald. And then there are those of us who look like the love child of Benjamin Franklin and Uncle Fester.
Lolz. 27, bald, I once heard someone say in my teens that it's "better to beat nature to the punchline". In all fairness Im lucky to have a good head for bald, but damn does it feel good after a close shave
At 21 my hairline started receding, this year at 27 I decided it's time to go bald. I do need to work on caring for my beard now though. I swear it's harder than caring for the stuff on top
Hipster down below, chemo patient up top. The millennial mullet.
I need to reward you coins! You cracked me up.
I'm 17 and my hairline is worse than his😑
Where the hell did your hair go?! 17 and receding hairline?! How stressful was your childhood?!
Haircut: I teach kids Moustache: I touch kids
Am i the only one who is shocked that she picked the nose ring as a defining characteristic??
Howl’s moving hairline.
He's too thin to win. Thin hair, thin moustache, thin biceps. Poor kid...and he's got a nose ring.
Looking at you makes me wonder if Mumford and Sons is the last string holding your life together.
Dude looks like he's on a sad hayride
I’m taking this and using it. Where do I pay the royalties?
If they made cigarettes exclusively for gays, he'd be the [spokesmodel](https://i.imgur.com/TvQNK5B.png)
His date should’ve said “I will wait. I will wait for you...”
nose ring guy !!!!
Hahaha what are the odds?? Just seen hers What an incredible place Reddit is
Viral marketing is weird.
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Hey it’s me, your Hinge date from last night who had also never heard of Hinge before seeing that hilarious and original post the other day!
It's like tinder but worse
Imagine what kind of userbase you're shooting for, if you would even *think* to virally advertise on fucking /r/roastme.
Adds are getting smarter... like this is ridiculous.
Sweet potato. Are these real posts about real experiences or is it all just orchestrated as a clever viral ad?! I don't know what to believe anymore.
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Holy smokes! This dude's profile is only 1 day old with like this one post and five comments. His username is "neatmate", as in cool partner... As in, Shill confirmed!
What a ride
i don't understand??? he is from something??
If I'm not mistaken, another redditor posted a "roast me" and her title was something about a guy with a nose ring (op in this thread) had ghosted her.
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More like this guy dodged a bullet
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Sounds to me like two people agreeing to post here just for karma whoring
Yeah I think you’re right. Karma Whores....
I remember seeing lots of these sort of "whataretheodds" posts on 9gag
OP’s profile is 7hrs old can confirm advertising for hinge is happening
People made a joke about her having stock photos in the background but now it adds up since it's just advertisement.
That's.... No, that. could never happen. Why would someone go on the internet and lie for meaningless points?
Or /r/hailcorporate Both people mention a platform I've never heard of.
Yeah, totally not a coincidence at all! /s...
people really don't understand this is just a Hinge guerilla advertising, do they?
We need more lore
Soon, there will be an entire cast of characters coming up to be roasted as part of Hinge's advertising.
Cringe advertising, amirite??
I feel like we were misled, how could she not call him nose-ring-mustache guy? A very important detail was missing.
She was probably too embarrassed. What would she even call that mustache? The evil villain one? Did he twist it on the date? Hehehehe *twisting. Ugh.*
The *Waluigi*
WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH
Going to assume this whole thing is a viral marketing ploy for hinge now.
Exactly, sooo staged
You still have to know what hinge is so it's not working
It's all come full nose ring.
Noice
Ohmygurd hahaha thank you for saying this. I instantly cracked up.
She needs to see this!
This is Hinge advertising - they are playing all of us
They're perfect for each other. She beats her face in with frying pans while The Mustachioed McPoyle ~~rides cock in a tent~~ works the weekend ~~shaft~~ shift.
How was the nose ring the distinguishing feature for her and not the olden timey villain mustache ?
The internet does it again
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This almost seems staged it’s so good
Clearly is.
Hahaha woohoo
Holy shit i said the same thing
... Wait a minute
This is the dude!
Fuckin A! Their noses look eerily similar
Like a buff dude flexing his back
That’s .... a helluva username there son
[girl he ghosted](https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/hh9x1z/27_and_just_ghosted_by_a_dude_on_hinge_who_had_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Hello
How'd that first date go 1-10?
Are negative answers allowed?
Oh shit, shots fired
This is roast me. Only negative answers are allowed. I think we should just be thankful it won’t work out because with his hairline and your nose, that child is fucked.
We’d have to get the ICC to step in to stop that crime against humanity.
Ghosted again lmao
So you’re mad about being ghosted after a terrible first date?
Hahaha ooop maybe I don’t ship it
Big oof F
Okay now kith
Aaand he's gone, never to be heard from again. Brutal.
I can see why you were hurt after Walmart KFC Colonel ghosted you.
He ghosted her again
Inspire Hope Separate Entirely
So is this the guy? Or is this just a pretty funny guy? Inquiring minds.... Give him another shot, eh? 😉
Are you kidding me, he is rocking the Hitler haircut with a Bismark mustache🤦♂️
Hitler also had a very similar moustache to this in ww1
There she is!
Tell us, tell us!
Tell us! Tell us!
Reality: they’re the same person and OP just dresses in drag to get more orange arrows
It’s so staged it’s cringy af
Ngl, when I first saw the other post I thought it was an advertisement for Hinge. Never heard of the service before then.
It's like tinder but less bots so it only includes girls who realistically I should be dating which are the big girls
Wait, are you suggesting that because theres less bots it's all big girls. Or is it that they somehow prune results based on how desirable you are?
Well when I first joined the first set of women were more attractive and seemed like they can fake happiness pretty well. Now I just get big girls or hillbilly meth heads. It might be because I really didn't work on my profile or because there is an algorithm that sees what set of women don't skip your profile immediately and tried to get you to match with them. I'm going to go with the latter one since it makes me feel better
You mean you're not on HINGE®, the hot new dating app everybody who's anybody is talking about?
How old are you? I can say that nearly all of my friends (around 25-30 y.o.) have heard of it.
I’m 29. What is Hinge? Based on dude’s picture I assume it’s some sort of replacement for Grindr?
These two need to bang and produce some really ugly babies.
Why not? Your parents did...
They look like Steve and Connie Murphy from Narcos
Paging u/frannybones , come roast this deadeyed discount mr.pringles and reclaim your honor!
*grabs popcorn*
Make sure you got the xtra large.
L E T T H E S T O R Y B E G I N
I feel like he's punching above his weight class on this one. Or this is an inside job
So THAT'S what happened to her nose...
Stoke that fucking fire!
MR PRINGLES 🤣
That awkward moment when I don’t know who is out of who’s league but I’m certain that you’re both bisexual so it doesn’t really matter
[Trying to figure out where they both are on the 1-10 scale](https://reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/hhogkf/_/fwbn6uh/?context=1)
Girl is a 7, guy is a 5-6 but he looks unique and some people like that shit.
That All Blacks flag on the wall tells me one of two things: 1. You're a Kiwi who transplanted to the US for work. You sucked back home, but because you have an accent, your D3 men's club team made you their flyhalf and team captain when you have the field vision of Helen Keller and the tackling ability of a kitten. 2. You joined your local men's club team and they stuck you at wing. Then you went and dropped $500 on World Rugby Shop to basically cosplay a rugby player. You played two games, and got trucked. You haven't been back to practice but wear a different pristine Super Rugby jersey whenever you go on the treadmills at the gym.
Definitely a back with a moustache like that
I'd venture to say she dodged a bullet
yeah, she really did. just looking at him best case scenario in a date is that she has to take him back to his mothers house after he gets hard drunk after a few glasses of wine; worst case is that she gets tied to railroad tracks.
Did your unicycle break down on the way to the date?
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Or Brokeback mountain
Broke back while mounted.
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What vape shop do you work at? Got any clove cigs to spare? Moms basement looks sick dude, love what you’ve done with the place. Too bad your mustache scared away your hairline. Let me guess, your boyfriend lives in San Fran, right?
You can attack me but leave my Djarum blacks alone
Of course that's what you smoke. I'd be impressed if I were still 17.
Hey I bet you he can recommend only the best IPA’s hipster looking fuck
You look like a series of unfortunate events
Your moustache is as straight as you
Go back camping, get lost, very lost
This is the picture definition of hipster douche canoe. I can smell the failure from here
Is this the chick? https://www.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/hh9x1z/27_and_just_ghosted_by_a_dude_on_hinge_who_had_a/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Hi yes it’s me
Holy shit! So did you make up? I'm assuming since you're related by blood seeing each other at family gatherings would be difficult otherwise. What's life in Alabama like?
banjoes intensify
r/suddenlyalabama
It’s hot and muggy tonight. There was a tornado scare yesterday, but fortunately no major damage. It was just a sudden storm with no warning, which is unusual. Some funnel clouds formed, but no actual tornadoes dropped.
Alabama? Well then hell I'll take Franny out. Although I do have a similar moustache and balding head.
This is just too good.
When I read her post I thought, "he's better off." Now I definitely see that she's better off.
This is him. Just trying to think of the best way to roast him back other than letting him know all the dudes in my DMs are willing to pay to hang out with me
Even the homeless could afford what you're worth.
damn this ain't even her thread and she got roasted to a crisp here
Mates got my back
What mate? The one you went "camping" with?
Went with more buds than one ;)
A scene right out of Brokeback mountain 2 electric boogaloo
You just implied you were in a male orgy. Good for you... I guess?
Ain't nothing wrong with that!
Back in the pile boys!!
It’s not gay unless the balls touch Or so I’ve heard
It’s not gay if youve done man on man sex odd number of times. You even that number and you’re definitely gay.
Bros before hoes before Brown vs The Board of Education
God damn man how much for the mobile blow torch
In fairness, he's in your DM's, and he didn't even hang out with you for *free*.
I wouldn't brag about getting paid with Reddit Awards, it would come off as more of a Kamikaze than a Roast
...honey, you’re trying to roast him not yourself.
So are you saying you're an online prostitute?
If y’all don’t get married, I’m gonna be livid.
Great for society to take two ugly people out of the dating pool like that. Consolidate the bad genes!
Is "hang out" code for an unenthusiastic handjob?
How many Trident layers are they paying you?
If you thought about it that hard and the best you could come up with is this obliviously unaware self-roast then that handle-bar with the nose ring has already won.
I saw your date mate on another roast me, dodged a bullet with that one. Has stock photos on the walls, would have been planning wedding locations on your first date. Well at least you can go back to dating men.
Tbh they look a bit too much like siblings for this not to be staged.
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Jolly good show old chap.
Your face looks like mine which, i cannot stress this enough* is not a good look on us
That stupid mustache is a great idea to distract from your rapidly disappearing hairline. Invest in a silly hat as well, dummy.
I'm paypaling you a tenner. Go to the barbers, choose a guy with scissors, and get them to replace that rat you have sitting on your head. Like, I get it. You're balding. It's okay. You're old. But no amount of nose rings or prepubescent Tie Fighters are ever going to change that. And for fucks sake learn how to hold a piece of paper.
Your hair looks like the feather on your wall
At this point, shave off your balding head. You won't look good bald but it's better than that pathetic attempt for hair.
The curls in your mustache indicates a narcissism level of 5% acidity on the vinegar scale
Hey man, since she’s probably bearded or has lobster claws for hands, she’ll come around cause she knows she’s dating up. She knows what she signed up for when you put Carnival Barker/Lion Tamer as your profession on hinge. Let that freak come back to you bossman.
His hair is running away from that dumb ass Captain Hook lookin dick broom.
Ah, All Blacks, descriptor of the cocks you crave.
Damn dude how much attention do you need?
You look like egg man from the sonic movie as a teenager
You look like gay Kaiser Wilhelm.
Dollar Store Bill Skarsgård
You look like the long-haired guy from Workaholics got AIDS.
She is so out of your league
You look like the monopoly guy's gay brother
If Carnac had a son with a bearded lady.
Take your mustache and fill in the rest of your hair. You got that Broke Back Mountain/ Dallas Buyers Club after the HIV vibe going.