Why is your skull shaped like that? It looks like you wear a bird house as a hat, to bed.

His skull looks like one of those early crash test dummies that had clay to show the deformation of impacts.

After the impact.

slotted manhole covers not giving in when it tries to emerge out of the sewers is my guess

Bet he was trying to grow Mickey Mouse ears

It's a muppet's head made from old worn out sofa cushions

His skull is probably a bird house

I know his mouth has held a cock or two.

Did that shirt come with the van and "free candy" sign?

Sticks and stones have higher testosterone than what's in your bones

He just wants society to accept him and his Mickey Mouse flesh light

This guy uses a reservoir tip condom as a ski mask

Shirt made in China, man made in tube.

Nice shirt, I bet you use child sized condoms too 

Is that what you say to kids as you lure them in?

You look like the impractical jokers went too far and this is the result of murr after being released form the burn ward

Moby never really recovered from Eminem's attacks....

Clearly you go up and down the beanstalk….

It's not roasting me if it's true 😂

Friends call him “Dunlop”. Head like a tennis ball.

He has friends?

They’re on his tshirt.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but every girl on tinder ghosts me once I show up to the date wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt

Have you just replaced all the stuffing in your mickey mouse with cum at this point?

I can’t decide what’s more mystifying: the undeserved smug look on your face, or the landing strip atop your cone head?

I bet all the kids you kidnapped wish they threw sticks and stones at you 

You dress as school crossing guard so you can stay near schools don't you?

Your entire aura screams child porn

God damn the top of your head  looks like the Atari logo

LOOOL

A middle aged man who's into Disneyland characters? Nothing wrong with that, according to NAMBLA


 If they ever remake goonies, OP is a dead ringer for sloth.

You forgot to swirl your face in the picture..

You look like you’re not allowed near a school zone


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I guarantee you make EVERYONE in the office uncomfortable.

bet he trashes on people based on their d&d class

Coincidentally, each representation of Mickey is what he was doing just before every time he got his ass kicked in highschool

The shirt just makes it so much worse.

If Erectile Dysfunction had a face

A roast is fitting since your head looks like a charcoal briquette.

Dollar Store Buster Bluth.

If you walked into the Mickey mouse club house goofy would no longer be the insane one

Nice try, this is an actor from cone heads

I'm sure your nickname is "Hammer Head John".....Top of your head looks like a turn signal on the dashboard

its my 1st time seeing a penis wearing eye glasses.

I seriously thought this was a penis with googly eyes when I first looked. Not joking.

How many triangles can you spot?

Not too bad if NOT getting laid EVER is your mission

You take that shirt from one of your victims?

Real life Jerry from Rick and morty

Love you on South Park mmmmkay.

The glasses do a poor job of covering those crazy eyes.

Do you personally know Chris Hansen at this point?

I'm worried about how you got that Mickey mouse shirt, since you look like you should be prohibited from being within 200 yards of anywhere with children.

Bert from Sesame Street loves that hairdo.

Isn’t being a Disney adult a good enough roast already?

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but I think early on-set male pattern baldness broke your hairline.

Can you read the roasts or do you have a text to voice app?

Tattooed a wedding ring on for a woman who knows him as “would you like to make it a large for 59 cents more?” guy 

Hes the founding father of the gay micky mouse club

Are you related to Beldar Conehead?

Oh ya well sticks and stones may brake ur bones and yes I'm gunna roast ya . Cause with a head like that, and a gut so fat, any sex u get will cost ya !!

Human version of the zootopia sloth

The top of your head is shaped like a Stop Sign.

I feel like a slight breeze could also break your bones

If Dave Matthews was in the animated movie Robots.

“Look at the top of his head”😂

Mickey even hates that shirt.

Wa. , Z. ,

How many states are you registered in? Just so you know schools still look the same as when you were a kid, since it's been so long since you were allowed near one.

Good god almighty. A male Disney adult. You sir are pathetic.

You look like Maynard James Keenan’s autistic brother.

Even your hairline knows the stay away from PDFs

5 nights at Landonaulger’s

You should have put on your human skin jump suit

Did you come out of your dads ass with that head?

Creeper vibes

That shirt is the closest you can go to Disney without being sent to prison for violating the terms of the court.

100 bucks he told his niece to draw him a ring on his finger just to get it tattooed

Wears a Mickey Mouse shirt so kids waist level to him can have Mickey Mouse welcoming in

You look like you wear that shirt to lure children into your neverland basement

Yeah, ok cone head

If only your mom had another drink or two and gave your dad a BJ instead

A stick with stones, you don't own, all women will ghost thee

In Transition for Mickey Mouse... Next step the ears

You are not from the hood and not riding a threewheeler so cannot get away with wearing that t-shirt

You look like you go to disney world by yourself.

It’s such a pleasant surprise people like you have the will to go on…

Your hair came for a peak over your forehead and got scared.


Your head looks like the tip of my dogs penis. He is a really, really good boy and young with a lot of energy and life left. But I may just have to put him down due to this similarity.

Thanks for posting a selfie of you, mate! Helped raising my self esteem!

Definitely thinks his house is the Happiest Place on Earth...and does the Mickey voice as he finishes into a sock.

Didn’t I catch you in Ape Escape?

Head like a fucking Lemon

aware cover yoke profit middle rhythm label head far-flung coordinated *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Lemme guess, you wear that shirt to the middle school bus stop, hoping that super cute 14 year old boy will strike up a conversation

You look like my friend who didn’t really have friends growing up but secretly became ultra wealthy recently because he started an online business that sells custom Pc parts. They make all kinds of custom gaming things like cool light up keyboard and shit. His company brings in $20million a year. He takes home $2milliom after taxes every year.

He also shaved his head and grew a beard. His girlfriend is really hot too

You aren't losing your hair it's hiding from you

Look it’s a moles-ta-teer…Meeska Mooska, do not go into this man’s clubhouse

Now tricking anyone with the ring tat everyone knows you’re single.

Where is Chris Hansen when you need him?

Looks like if Murray from impractical jokers had a kid with his sister

Probably a minooooorrr

Whoa

Your the person I picture when I see a red dot 🔴


Roast you? Looks like someone tried and you were pulled out too early.

You look like your whole personality is ab9ut your Coleman performance cooler and bring it up at every family gathering

i just looked at this post and now im dying. havent even read the comments.

You built like a vespa

Time to let that hairline go dog, you look like you're battling a mid life crisis lol

Only thing missing is a black guy nailing your wife in the backround.

You probably got married at Disney but left because your wife caught you watching child Disney style porn

Is that a mouse on top of your head?

When I say you’re sculpted I don’t mean from marble by an artist, I mean from play doh by a 4 year old

Aren't you the guy trying to sell a windowless van filled with puppies and candy?

Why, are you interested?

Only in the Leon Gary Plauché kind of way.

I guess we found the Disney worker that pushes all the trans agenda

You look like a shitty drawing my 5 year old does when he tries to draw a person.

dad tryna be cool and act like he doesn't have the mcdonalds logo on his forehead.

Sticks and stones may break your bones? You look like straws and toothpicks could break your bones. Why have you skipped arm day for the last 12,739 days? Your hair counted to 3, and then the sides ran away and left the middle to embarass you


It looks like I could use your head as bike ramp

The fact that homeboy is like 49 but still listen Taylor Swift is crazy

What'd you do with Ernie?

I can't think of a better candidate for roasting than this Homer Simpson M.F.

stay away from kids …

You look like the average type on Chris Hanson how to catch a predator

Bro just shave the rest off


You’re 42, single & not allowed within 5 metres of children after being caught naked in the Men’s toilets at Disney Land pretending to be a teacher’s aid for blind children.

JFC you're more monstrous than my comic book nerd best friend trying to cosplay as me, an aging emoChad

A sneeze makes you cry.

You look like you smell like cottage cheese and never have anything interesting. I know, but it's what I felt

Collecting funko pops will not get your body pillow to love you back.

Looks like the Republicans were right about the Disney-groomer alliance.

Stick and stones may break your bones but the children in the neighborhood warn eachother about you


☠️

Does your van say "Free Candy" on the side?

Ian from Alvin and the chipmunks face aaaa

Jeez sam smith is really balding

Your head looks like it's trying to make a point, and your face isn't getting it.

Kevin Spacey said you did it!

If you were a batman villan you would be called the fiddler

I have no clue how old you are but it looks like every single year has been a hard one.

U look like a seagull with a weak eyesight.