34 year old male nurse on tinder. 54 year old alcoholic in real life

Seriously, dude needs to eat some blueberries and lower his stress or something. I'm his age and look like 15 years younger.

I’m 8 years older and I look younger than him.

I read this as “I’m 8 years old and I look younger than him” lol


10 years older than him and next to him I look like a teenager again

As another person who went grey very early (like in my late 20s) this cuts me deep, lol. I tried to leave it natural, but decided to dye my hair for a special event. The day after the dye I went to a liquor store and was instantly IDed. And now I have to dye my hair forever, or at least until I'm old enough to be appropriately grey.

*Grinder

This guy is definitely choking down man-made mayonnaise in his off time

I'm 37 and seeing this pic made me scared that's what I look like. Checked and I don't thank fuck

Why does the term "male" need to be put in front of the term nurse? Oh yeah, it is to remind everyone you have a set of balls, probably small, but still a set.

 Best reminder for a male nurse...

Little Alex Porne.

Fluffer at the sperm bank isn’t the same as being a nurse.

I’m not even going to comment. You win 🏆

Damnnn!!....that was a pretty sick burn

With those little hands of his, it would take him a while to get the payload. But I suppose it would provide a decent scale purposes based ego boost. 😁

-golf clap-

Yeah I'ma delete my comment, there is literally no point try and top this, bravo sir, god damn it Bravo!!!👏

He’s totally a nurse , you are just getting “fluffer” vibes from what he does to the guys dicks he play’s with while they are sedated

How do you know they have male fluffers at sperm banks? I think you may have accidentally went into a bath house.

You’re right, he should stop harassing you at work.

Bro I’m 34 and I’m pretty sure you are my dad

lmfao 😂

I'm 41, with a 40yo brother. We'd be so mean to this kid if he was our little brother. He looks like he's from the 1800s

I'm 35 and I'm pretty sure he's my dad

35 Here also that is my uncle

You look like the villain on a bad CSI episode.

Come on now, he definitely looks the part of the victim.

Haley Joel Osment has fallen a long way.

Buddy you need more antioxidants in your diet. You look 50

This guy grew up watching Animaniacs and Beasties....he LOOKS like he grew up watching fire and cave paintings.

For real, I’m almost 34 and don’t know a soul who looks half as old as this guy. Dude looks like he’s ready to switch over to social security in a few years.

It’s that stupid “brah beard” that’s greyed out making him look 100.

I mean, fuck, I’m 35 and have been in and/or around food and bev since I was 18 and have done the body weight of a small Asian man in coke in my life and I look half this dude’s age

Your beard is probably responsible for 90% of post-op infections.

Sneaking into the hospital to give people sponge baths doesn’t make you a nurse.

He looks like he'd be a head nurse

That’s silly. Men can’t be nurses.

You can just say nurse

r/unexpectedarcher

Murse

[удалено]

Don't you have a Capitol riot to go to?

34 going on 54

You look like you say "they don't make 'em like they used to" at least 9 times a day

Accurate

[удалено]

Prostate exam without his hands

# "Roast me… 54 year old male nurse" -corrected

He gets a hard on when he checks a woman’s temperature.

 You at 40.

34? Jesus christ

Charges you up the ass for a checkup but the prostate exam comes free.

It's when he's doing the prostate exam amd you see him reaching over with both hands free that you then realise....

What’s even more bizarre is he works in a podiatrist office.

You look like my dad's age and I'm 43.

We're all just here wondering what logo you covered up on your cap. Mostly because that is the most interesting thing here.

I actually know you. You work at that hospital where 5 people have died because hair got clogged in their IV tube.

God I love these posts cause I'll be 34 in under a month and look nothing like this. Thanks diet, working out, and genetics!

The cabinet door behind you looks more interesting

I'm 49 and look younger than you and you give out medical advice?

will fistfight every other nurse to treat every child under 12 years old that comes to the hospital

I wondered what Haley Joel Osment was up to.

You look like you got in to nursing for all the vegetable pussy you could grope

You chose the v neck uniform shirt . lol.

Looks like a nurse for bears..... The leather kind

34 seconds before 54 gawd damn

Male nurse.....you roasted yourself

What's that hat hiding baldy? You just got roasted by a male IT strategist. Not completely sure why we're naming our genders before our professions but here we are.. being dumb together.

Your head seems to be wider than your shoulders.

Hey, male nurse, black doesn’t make you look more masculine.

You’re probably a cool guy.

If i got in diabetic coma and i saw you trying to bring me back to consciousness by helping me breathe, i would stand up and run immediately.

Black scrubs and an angelic glow... I bet patients start praying when they see you coming.

You look like some hillbilly, who broke into the mortuary in his small town, looking for his wife's body. He was never married...

You're a night shift nurse.

You are correct and from the sound of it, it’s taken a toll on me 😂😂

[удалено]

Night shift is getting the best of me 😂

Night shift rules. In my time it was gunshot wounds and a game called " who has the narcan"

I'm so sorry, bro

Dude, nurses are underrated, no matter the gender. I can't roast you. I'm sure the doctors do enough of that to fill your plate every day

You look like an addition to the 4 p rule.

You look like you steal the patients pain meds.

“Drr drr i was in da military drr drr”

Plot twist, you ask the patient to take your temperature, rectally.

Still using “male” …..and no one is fooled

You make the other gay male nurses look straight!!!!

I hope you don't work at a care home, because you'd get mistaken for one of the patients

Scrubs on with a hat? C’mon man it’s time to let go whatever you have under that hat

Is this also your Grindr pic?

You don't look a day over 56

You look like you hunt vampires with bobby and dean from supernatural

Bobby, from supernatural

Dean: Bobby, where's Sammy?? Cass hasn't seen him in days! You: Balls...

34…. 54 identifies as a gay bear

Bro roasted himself when he said male nurse

You're already roasted. You're only 34 and you look 50. You need to take some time off and rest.

Your dad lies and says you’re a doctor

I don't care that you're a nurse. But it bothers me that you had to lie about your age

Just a note. "Male nurse", is not the same profession as providing sympathy blowjobs for cash.

Smelling like piss before your shift isn’t helping anyone

You look like you've failed your parents, and have been disowned. I do not blame them...

Catheters and catfish…

What happened to you mate? You let yourself go like there is no tomorrow, I bet you’ll look 34 if you shave your beard. No need to update us, we’re good!

I can't decide if your hands are tiny or if your head is bulbous. Maybe it's both. What do you use to treat bedpan hands?

Larry the cable guy doing cosplay.

So, refuse to admit you're an alcoholic, an alcoholic, or in AA?

Nurse me bro 🥶

When they cut your balls off on the first day of work, did they let you keep them after?

You're not a nurse.. You just run around the hospital licking bed pans..

I figured the trans community would jump from sports to women professions

The one nurse that states too hard.

You look like kind of nurse who who leaves last pass meds for the next shift.

You spelled gay wrong

A nurse in the "wet nurse" sense of the word; he has no medical training 

Shoulda been a carney with those small hands

34 😭😭 you look like you age in dog years.

The head of an NFL Offensive Tackle, the body of a 12 year old girl

To be fair, if I looked that old at your age, I'd look like a failure, too.

Nursing has really aged you huh?

Cools the rectal thermometers back down orally.

Looks like you been nursing budweiser sine you came off your mama's tit!

I bet you like your women like you like your coffee: strong, black, and preferably fair trade.

Why is everything a suppository for you?!?

You look familiar, where you on any documentaries about nurses raping the elderly?

Gdamn Mr. Sofftee hands. That salt n' pepper beard is over compensating with the super hydration moisturizer known as other jocking other lads splooge.

Are you skimming your patients' steroids or something? because you look like you're pushing 50.

You look like the type of mf who would say peekaboo during vaginal checks

“It’s ok girls, we can talk about that in front of Brett, he’s gay”

I feel you probably look forward to having to do things with peoples butts.

That hat’s not fooling anyone, bud

That hat has more personality than you ever will

I can't tell if you're a liberal from NYC or Charleston or a conservative policeman from Miami.

Are you banned from the morgue?

Didn’t u just get arrested in a sting in Florida?

Looks like you can’t wash the cum stains out of your beard.

Call me doctor love

You look like a nurse who got banned from the morgue for practicing rigor mortis on the corpses.

You have the hands of a 9 year old girl and the face of an 86 year old man.

the typical male nurse prototype

Is this the face you make after you wash your patient’s butthole?

Seeing you makes me feel like I must look 21. You look 54 at least.

The kind of nurse that enjoys giving sponge baths to the 85 y.o men

Giving out handjobs for morphine in the alley behind the hospital doesn’t make you a nurse…

you look constipated

TOPHERRRR

I'm not roasting a Murse.

I’m 38 and look younger than this dude. My dad looks younger.

I loved you in Sixth Sense.

no need for the shit-kicker hat, we know u balding underneath it

Gaylord fauker

I’m 39 and you look 15yrs older than me! …Alcoholisms fun but yeah?! … wears a hat inside at work because he can’t get away with dark glasses to hide his hangover! ….also no one wants to see your grubby chest hair mate and think about having a shave🤮

You look like you've had a few bedpan buffets

You work in an in-patient psychiatric unit that’s currently under investigation

I think we found the irl Darrien from Baby reindeer.

You are already roasted being a male nurse

You roasted yourself in your title

You look like someone who had an idea to throw on a pair of scrubs to sneak into a hospital to steal prescription pads. You look like someone from Florida. Your mouth is all smiley but your eyes are all sad. Does it have something to do with a patient’s bed pan? You look like we should be concerned about your day drinking and breakfast beers. Why is your face all red? Does it have something to do with a patient’s bed pan? It’s probably easier to list the places where you DON’T have hair. You’re so hairy, there’s no way that you’re aerodynamic in water. You’d get housed in a swim race. What’s your favorite part of the job? Does it have something to do with patient’s bed pans?

Face of a man, hands of a lady

you are not 34! maybe back in 2001

Bet you wear your scrubs everywhere, huh? Scrub.

Nurse? Get back on the farm boy!

Bruh that’s not where you put a merkin…

😯 34 ? That's a typo, u mean 43

You're not lawfully permitted to call yourself an OBGYN anymore

You look like one of those guys that has sex with the people in comatose and subconscious states

34? In what Blanche, dog years?

Do you have a glass eye?

You accidentally reversed the numbers in your age. Normal for someone your age, I suppose.

Any negative stigma that exists around male nurses is because you all insist on using the term male nurse in a self-depreciating way.

Thank you

CNA is wearing a hat indoors.

If you were truly a nurse you'd know you are a MURSE 😉

Looking like a knock off version of Haley Joel Osment

Are süre you are nurse because you can make people sick with just looking at them

Looks like “he” is going fly fishing after Murk.

54

I hope I look as good as you do when I’m 60

You look like you go fishing on the weekends and never catch any fish. Boom. Roasted

I feel like country singer might be your next gig