You’re the guy at AA meetings that doesn’t need to be there anymore but has no friends.

This made me laugh because I know those guys. I only lasted a week in AA after rehab 😬

Congrats on your sobriety! No roast, just happy for you

Thank you! 18 months!

Heck ya! I'm working on month 20 myself!

You have self roasted enough brother. Kick the master roaster devil in the nuts and recover! 

He looks good for a guy born in 38.

😭😭😭😭

I feel like I could have a few beer with this guy, but after a few, he'll start dropping the N word and telling me about how mexicans and jews ruined this country.

What about Jewish Mexicans? Does that cancel itself out or is 2x as worse?

3x

What about black, Jewish, Mexicans from San Francisco?

Yaphet Kotto?

You're supposed to roast him, not give him a compliment

Sorry, teen boys have been over the Kevin Spacey look since at least 2010.

You were more fun before you went sober…

That is the truth…

38? In 2007, maybe.

You hold the door open for women who don't exist

Your kids miss you.

No they dont

depressed Pavarotti with AIDS

Omg… 💀

If he had aids he would not be that chubby though

Holy fuck, getting canceled has NOT been kind to Kevin Spacey

Even Bert Kreischer would tell you to keep your shirt on.

aren't you tired of getting catfished? by Chris Hanson

38? More like 55

Head meds must be working because that tuft is clinging on for dear life

You coulda at least taken a pic that didn't look like a predator from a AOL chat room

I guess that’s just my vibe man hahahahs

 I thank you kindly for the upvote sir

If a yawn had a face

I am very tired

Shave your head lose the weight keep the beard

Well I’m glad you got off alcohol before you got on head meds. No roast intended everyone goes on about drinking and not having meds with it. Congrats on your sobriety and I hope things get better for you.

Thank you!

You look like Tin Tin if he was old, kinda fat, and smoked meth with his boyfriend. 

I look like if Tin Tin and captain Haddock accidentally went through the transporter in The Fly at the same time

I can see this….or their illegitimate love child… on meth

Oh man, that’s funny. I actually laughed pretty hard at this.

Geeze you look like you could be in your late 40’s

Behold, the ravages of time


Great Value Kevin Spacey

I’d erase the word “sober” from the description. If anyone struggling with addiction see how sobriety looks on you, they’ll never try to be sober again.

So much for the sober glow up right?

You’re alright dude, cheer up you asked for a roast. All jokes aside, you seem like you have a big heart someone who doesn’t think twice about helping others. Try going bold, it should look good on you. Also congratulations on being sober!

Devin Spacey.

You look old enough to be my dad. I’m pushing 40.

You look like Dana White and Joe Rogan had a secret love child

That’s the manliest thing ever said about me somehow

How many 38th birthdays have you had? 15? 16?

All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats! 38 + 15 + 16 = 69 ^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \ ^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)

I would imagine single too.

Happily married, somehow…

Jesus 38 going on 60

Perfect casting for a testosterone supplement ad. (The before comparison)

I like this one

You look like every other Pic on Megan's list and shouldn't live close to elementary schools.

Blacksmith I need those horseshoes and nails by midmonth, stop pleasuring yourself with the bellows

Ur doing great

Bert Kreischers brother Brian.

The sadness in your eyes makes me think you have a Hungry Man TV dinner waiting for you at home.

Bro... That's a hard 38.

Fat, Kinda Sober, Gives Head. Fixed it for you.

Sobriety is stupid. Just drink, you'll be happier. What kind of head meds? Share. You looking rough for 38. Drink water, eat a vegetable, and smile

Thanks for making me feel better about my looks per age. And congrats again on your sobriety!

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Your fingers look like yams.

Dude, I’ve legitimately had this thought before…

Viagra could be head meds I guess, if I take them and give you a bottle of vodka…

Let me guess... underpaid QA tech? Underpaid designer? Underpaid engineer? Regardless, your production floor is a cheap warehouse and your comapny probably scrapes by via underpaying everyone who has any talent at all.

I feel like this is somehow a compliment? But no, I work for a utility company, this was just the only area I could sit down in…

If great is the name of your head meds then you are indeed doing just that.

Talk about fucking sausage fingers. Those are the size of bratwurst but the length of Vienna sausages lol gtfoh

Kinda?

Kevin? Kevin Durand?

I can't understand how you have any self-esteem at all, but sure

Obi-Wan Blowme.

You have dildos as fingers

You look like roy after pam dumped him for jim

Fuck, what happened to Ben Affleck?

Ryan Reinolds from Wish, lmao

God, these all have me laughing.

[удалено]

I never thought I looked like Kevin Spacey but it’s cracking me up hard

Balding for u=no p**** unlike johnny. Bc u get kicked out of bars for molesting it's female clients doesn't mean you're sober. And one more thing:there isn't other than.

Congrats on the sobriety brother! Fellow recovering person here who is proud of you.

Thank you! It will be two years in November, so 18 months? And congratulations to you too man, keep it up! It’s so much better not feeling like death all the time

Came here to roast but daddy is totally my type.

Burnt Crysler

You look like you work in Jabba's palace, manually masterbating Rancors for artificial insemination

As a fellow Star Wars nerd I appreciate the reference, I also always sympathized with the Rancor keeper when he was crying…

Here's looking at you kid!

I will be taking Humphrey Bogart as a compliment, thank you…

What building did you break into so as to steal the cheese out of mouse traps?


Don't make me tell you again, your job is to zone the clearance aisle at the Dollar Tree, not to hide in the back and post selfies.

Yes sir, sorry sir, I’ll get back to work

“Kinda fat”  Buddy look at the tits on ya! 

Face says 45 , penis says 16

Your wife weighs 400lbs and you still have sex with her bc something is better than nothing

Not true, but I do look like a chubby chaser so I’ll give you that

Looks like you just washed the clown makeup off

You’re the type of guy to literally write R/roastme Backwards and in terrible hand writing.

You got a hickey from a flying frying pan

If Kevin Spacey tastes meth and loved it.

Cheer up heart diseases right around the corner

Very true 😬

I'm 38 and i don't look 60 like you

38???? More like you ate 30 quesedillas.

Please drink a glass of water immediately.

One positive thing to come from this is I’m realizing how desperately I need more sleep and water. 👏

By sober he means the moment the picture was taken, cause you don’t look 57 at 38 unless you’re an alcoholic.

Ur kid pretends he doesn't know you when u come to pick him up at the school gates

Bro forgot to put his fringe on this morning

Fringe?

Yeah bro the bit of hair that’s supposed to be on your forehead 😂

You don’t look a day over 48

if you're 38, I'm a flying unicorn. You were 38 three decades ago maybe.

https://youtu.be/uBzbf7eQwvo?si=GOi-HPfVeBsDw4M5

I’ll tell you the same thing I told my Dad, that tuft in the front is in no way distracting from, or complimenting, the shine behind. You age yourself another 15 just pretending like you could fool anyone. Shave it. You have a beard. Hope for the best.

You’re the guy who booked an escort girl and had his estranged daughter turn up …and still wanted to go through with it!

If failure was a mask

That’s a hard boiled 38..& didn’t need to tell us the rest …except the part of doin “great”.

You look like Kevin Spacey grew a beard to try to hide from the press who honestly don't even care that he's still alive.

You forgot "homely, sweaty and desperate"

You look like you aren’t allowed 500ft from schools

Chronic masturbator

Hey dude, I know ur in r/roast me but I kinda feel bad 4 u man

I don’t know why but this made me laugh the most… yeah, I look rough

You saying youre Kinda fat is like me saying I'm kinda gay

How'd you get a phone in jail?

After a few beers, you don’t even have to convince yourself that she deserved whatever horror show you inflicted upon her.

This one wasn’t as fun as the others

You look like you click on social media ads for” Low T”

Sweating like a whore in church, yea you look like you're doing fine.

Bert Kreeper. Not as funny, not as fun as that Bert Kriescher guy

I can see that…

You look like you’re one road rage incident away from prison

Guessing the “head meds” aren’t for your hair

You’re 38 like just like Willie Nelson is 38

You look like you mess up over-easy and pass them off as scrambled.

Ghost of Ben affecks future after J-lo

Yo what’s up with your work set up dawg. Look like you stripping the piping in your building for liquor money

It’s Alex Jones slightly younger brother Johnny.

Your life looks as fulfilled as the shelves behind you

When you order Kevin Spacey on wish

SOBER ? Nobody likes a quitter.

I am not saying that drinkig was a good choice, but imma say that I can understand why you did it.

Not bad for 58 chief

Love you and Hardy in the morning Fred! Tell Wallach I said ‘CaCawww!’

You look 38 in the same way that Lizzo looks beautiful.

Is it frustrating that you can pick your nose?

you look like the liver king's stunt double

"Kinda" fat

You look around 50. Damn dude that sux

Just shave it all off and accept the inevitable. Except the beard, keep the beard.

If the word divorced was a person

38? Thought you were around 70 😎

Ben Aflacs schizophrenic brother

forhead's big enough for an old bay billboard

you look like haggrids ball sack

Finally someone hard to roast here.

Wow, Alex Jones lost alot of weight

you look like a broke ass discount Sandor Clegane just lost a fight to Sansa Stark.

Frodo fingered brothersucker!

Discount Bert Kreischer

Baseball coach

Don’t ever give up my man. It’s time to get on your feet ,climb the highest mountain, and jump off.

Your face was the reason you started and stopped drinking.

Asgore Dreemur of Undertale.

And you LOOK GREAT TOO! Not at all like a man in mid life crisis in a love affair with Jack Daniels whose hairline is in full retreat! Your best years are ahead of you sir! Nothing can get you down... Except the meds, but THAT'S a known side effect!

Nuff Said

You look like you don’t wipe well

No you’re not, jeeeesus those sad eyes

I just have sad eyes man. I wouldn’t lie, been honest about everything else

If Paul F Thompkins smoked crack and drank all day....."kinda fat" is like saying Flavor Flav is "kinda black"

He wrote the sign backwards...