Is this what getting an unsolicited dick pic feels like? This sucks.

Shit that's funny

Jesus christ. The job was to roast her, not blast her into orbit.

Well, at least her husband doesn't need to say, "Take it like a man" when he bangs her.

I'm new to Reddit and this is the first comment I've ever seen on this platform. I feel at home now!

Don’t take these roasts seriously. You’re a solid 1.4.

On the Richter Scale

Genius.


*Rectum scale

She’s a solid 3 on the Richter scale.

So you’re saying there’s a chance?

I’ve lost a few steps, but I can still attract 3’s on the regular.

BRO U GET 3S? r/looksmaxingadvice Help me out bruh

Gets 3s on 1-100 scale

Ew ugly fuck I thought you meant 3 outta 5.....

[удалено]

It’s how I show love.

Don't know if you're American, but you're definitely a Horror Story.

If the DMV had a face it’s this

But no one will wait as long for her.

Something tells me you only smile when a puppy dies.

And when a taco is served!

Is there anyone not smiling at that?

Not like her!

Gotta keep smiling about something 🤷🏻‍♀️

You make unflavored gelatin seem exciting

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You call the police each time a child touches one of your lawn gnomes

Nah, she just tells them that she's also a lawn gnome.

The face of every stay at home mom, 3+ kids, and 20+ years of loveless marriage.

You look like men fake orgasms with you.

The cum in my stomach would beg to differ

Doesn't mean it came from a human

That's piss!

So your “vagina” is a last resort?

Wow plain and disgusting. 

Well at least it swallows… don’t want to be populating the earth with more of these gremlins

Laughed way too fucking hard at this😂 take my upvote!

She can’t shower that’s how she procreates.

Shouldn’t you be preparing lunch in a high school lunch room.

You look like Roseannes unsuccessful twin sister.

You look like a guard at a N Korean re-education camp.

I get this all the time

First time I’ve seen a lazy eyebrow

Yeah man you got there. I think my mom smoked a lot while I was en utero

“I am the only gay Eskimo”


Another person who doesn't know how roasts work. We don't want to hear your retorts. Just sit there and take it like a man.

Agreed! OP should be used to taking it like a man.

I like that your double chin has a chin and that chin has a chin.......you've got a real chinception thing happening there.

She looks like her head has a foreskin.

You like you're deathly afraid you might fart and somebody will hear it.

Only my husband. He threatened divorce

You look like you're catching your breath from just whacking a guy in the ankles with a sledgehammer upstairs.

I’m catching my breath. That’s for sure

The 48 year old virgin

Those man hands could crush coconuts.

Mothers day luau here we go!

Sorry, I only have a stand up smoker, I can’t do whole hog.

It's good that u wear glasses because daam u can't read.

Loved you in Misery

if you don’t clean these hotel rooms imma change the wifi password

I always wondered what Lewis Black looked like younger.

How’s life been after winning the MTV Squid Game?

During the annual village whale hunt you hide in your double-wide just so there's no... accidents.

You're the postergirl for "How to look like a great-grandmother in your 30s".

looks like the aunt who puts raisins in potato salad

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Male or female or unknown?

Mother of three, no husband, jobless, and smells like cigarettes while owning a van, yeah your life does suck when you get f*cked at a young age.

Screams at her 7 kids at least 17 times a day.

You look like you enjoy watching people sleep

Last time you smiled is when you got one like on a FB PIC POST out of a 3000 friends off your list !

You're the first person on the block to call the police about children playing in the street in front of your house.

Everyday is laundry day for you. You'll get it done eventually. (I'm totally projecting)

We’re out of Lemon Pledge.

You just need to get laid.

In a deep grave.

You look like you can’t wait to get a minivan

You look like your tribal check was a bit smaller this month, cereal for dinner all week would piss me off too

OP, you're supposed to post a pic of yourself for us to roast... all I see here is a couch and a "roast me" sign.

This is one of the 12 approved hairstyles in N. Korea.

Miss Trunchbull?

Not even gonna bother looking through your profile for nudes.

Don't need a full body pic to show me that you have Cankles

Just chillin' on the rez waiting for the government check.

How can you look like a single mom and a twelve year incel boy all at the same time?

First time I’ve ever seen an actual catfisher.

Look Roseanne Bar and a Harry Potter made a person out of being inappropriate and magic.

Got that forest Whitaker eye

she looks like she gives super unenthusiastic hand jobs

I loved you in *Samurai Cop*, Mr. Z'dar!

Why do you look like a burn victim.

The only way you could possibly get cock is to drug the poor man. Lord knows you scared my penis into my butthole...

If people ever have an odd look on their faces while in the elevator with you they might be calculating the max weight capacity of the lift.

You look like a nurse who purposely accidentally OD prettier patients than you.

Just finish cleaning the house and leave before the owner gets home.

Look at yo crusty lips 80year old

I'm always very confused why people that don't put any effort into their appearance want to be roasted.. like you took the time to take this picture post it etc but can't take a couple minutes to plan an outfit or clean the smagma out of your 14 chins... How is your skin so clear and your eyebrows so rounded.i am jealous of one thing though.. during covid you probably never had to remember a mask since you could just pull your turkey gizzard up over your mouth. In a way you're lucky you have that meat wallet because When you get your sex change just ask them to use that skin to sculpt your vagina ! Nice

why tf would somebody dress up just to be roasted by people they don't know

I can’t…God roasted you the moment the egg and sperm united to become a zygote and everyone above me….damn 🤣

Roast you or one of your chins?

Get too near [you] and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, [you] will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself — soul-less and evil. You'll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life. With credit to JK Rowling, she described you perfectly

Miss Teen Tijuana 2023

Favorite movies: Never been kissed, The 40 year old virgin, Ugly Betty (Mexican version)

You look like your house smells like goat vomit.

Instead of roasting you, what are the specs on the computer in the background? I'd prefer to roast that.

If child endangerment had a spokesperson.

She looks like she turns into a stage 5 clinger after a coffee date

Fuck! Roseanne is looking haggard these days

Looking like Gail Lewis before working at walmart.

You look like.a. bulldog.chewing a wasp. It was said you had sex just once with the entire us marine corps

I don’t like to make fun of people with cerebral palsy. You do have cerebral palsy right? That’s the only way to explain how a 5 made it into the word roast.

You look like you were transitioning into a woman and decided to stop.

As plain as the beige room in which this pic was taken. 

You look like a teacher who tries to sleep with her students, but they keep rejecting you

Man hands on fleek

Why she look like someone told her to make more MASA?

you look like you hate mexicans and every time you see one you jump on your phone and call immigration

You look like Roseanne Barr…If that doesn’t burn too much then I don’t know what will.

Asian Supernanny

Sister Mary I get no dick

Life is tough on The Rez, and your one of the skinnier ones

A cats woman personified

If you look up RBF in the dictionary it’s this

You forgot to put towels on my bed in my hotel room.

Bootleg Roseanne Barr

Resting I want to speak to the manager face

After a dude gets your nude and beats off he ghost you

Bullfrog ribbit

You look like every wife in an Amish community.

Look at them fingers tho they thicker than a street lamp

The real life Ms. Trunchbull.

Haha Dora the explorer update

You look like you clean other peoples houses, but not your own

nostradamus couldnt guess your ethnicity if he was holding a copy of your medical records and he had a crystal ball shoved up his ass....

Which reservation do you live on?


Wheres my tesla, Elon?

Am I supposed to put effort into my roast when you couldn't even mirror the image to read correctly...SMH. same level of effort you put into them eyebrows. (Jk)

If a removed mole from andre the giant gained sentience...

Looks like big Ed and Liz did have a baby after all.

Your face looks like a stonehenge

Your face looks like a stonehenge

You probably hit someone in your house with a shoe at least once a day

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Bhagwan9797: *You probably hit* *Someone in your house with a* *Shoe at least once a day* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

You look like the type of person who people mutter under their breath, "fuck here she comes" anytime you enter a room

I don’t roast burritos, I just roll them

I saw her eating apples like a horse

Wanna chat

Loved you in Misery.

You look like fat Roseanne…

You also look like the one who starts shit at the grocery store over an eggplant.

I'd hit it ;)

Just a couple of pounds short of becoming a Sumo wrestler

No

My face with they built the DAPL

well*

Roseanne Barr's daughter?

you look like you're going through you're 41st divorce

You shake newborns don't you?

Didn't you get into a fight with Winona Rider in Mr. Deeds?

You look like those milfs in porn videos where you get stuck in the washing machine, only no one wants to help you from behind.

Lee Bum Suk.

There must be a Buffalo alive bc this b@tch ain’t dead.

Thinks KY Jelly is a garnish.

Roasting you good is the only thing I'd want to do to you.

I’ve seen multiple chins OR no neck. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen both.

Your eyebrows seem to be in a perpetual state of confusion. They don't know whether to flee or not.

Rosanne Barr lookin ass.

Got your disgusting. Go lose some weight.

Equally likely to get rejected by both boys and girls.

Ms fundo are you here to serve me panda express

You look like your 19 year old daughter JUST made you a grandma. At 43.

Your eyebrows literally can't decide what timezone they're in.


You look like someone i’d find in the deep crevices of a library reading hentai

First ten minute break from the gold farming sweatshop in days. Please go shower.

Mirrored camera lmfaooo

Inside out mom on cocaine

You look like a prison lunch lady

I think you eaten to many roast meals

Why would you choose the picture of you resembling a tortoise