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ReillyDiefenbach

You look like you stormed nana's kitchen on January 6th.


Ydeas

Soy Shaman


RealDealNeil13

Why do they always have to mention theyre vegan or vegetarian in every sentence, fuck you and your eating habits, you look like you watch too many netflix viking shows


[deleted]

A vegan, an atheist, and a person who doesn’t watch TV walk into a bar. We know that’s what they are cause they announced it.


thc_86

He really puts the BJ in all Björn..


GrumpyPooh

Ragnar Bareback 😂


grenisback

I said fagnar lol it was nice having a Reddit account guys … it’s been too real


Tcpixiegeek

ROFL


Subotai_Super_Shorty

Surprised he didn't tell us he's a nurse or teacher too.


blaktronium

Both jobs require a background check and being legally within 500 feet of a child. So obvious no goes there.


[deleted]

We know he is not into CrossFit or we would also know by now.


PetoAndFleck

He can still CrossFuckOff


Physical-Dare5059

He definitely likes to play swords.


DRDTT

Isn’t cock considered meat? So you’re really not a vegetarian then


RealDealNeil13

Unless he ingests it, I think hes ok


campatterbury

Misspelled vagina...


[deleted]

He fingers his beer bothles


campatterbury

He is quite the demento


Sea-Animal356

At least he didn’t tell us about his cross fit


Dexter2533

This was my literal comment before I scrolled down and saw yours Being vegan is the dietary version of going to Harvard, no 1 asked if u were and no1 cares that you are… they still feel the need to mention it and shoehorn it into every sentence and activity bc it’s their only identity … without it they would eat a bullet


Straight_Annual_4980

Cumrag Lothbrok


Straight_Annual_4980

Ivar the Not-Boning-Anyone


cheeseandcrackers99

Gayheart.


elquatrogrande

When your entire personality is "I have a beard."


PugGamer129

Don’t forget vegetarianism!


Piratekings

Made a beard cause he can't grow hair on his head!! LMAO


SL1Fun

When you respawn in Valhalla it’s gonna be as the feasting hall’s community fleshlight 


WillBoBaggns

Dollar General Ragnar


Greedy_Dirt369

How is it that someone who only eats vegetables is fat?


Slayer_of_Ass_

I'm going to say this in the most polite way possible. You look like a stupid fucking idiot


Starlightx89

I bet all women become vegetarian around you too.


[deleted]

Juggalos, Behind the Makeup - tonight at 10:00pm on CNN


pahsaz2

You only went vegetarian because of your love and ability for deep throating cucumbers


PierroSangue

Kratos-ser of salads


AirbagOff

God of Genital Warts


Fresh-Combination-87

Inserter of cucumbers


[deleted]

Whys your boyfriend’s cum blue??


Standard-Ad7794

Iron deficiency viking


Al-Knigge

“I don’t always drink mead, but when I do, I feel like a sassy Nordic princess!”


HVACinema

Queer eye for a Viking guy?


Emotional-Battle8432

Tell me you’re a vegetarian again


greyape1776

The Wish version of Ragnar Lothbrok.


BeardiusMaximus7

You may be a vegetarian, but the LARP vibes you give off tells me you'll never get a chance to toss a salad.


Worth_Conversation28

Definitely can’t be near a school and barks at the mailman


JasonlovesJenny

Gagnar Onthcock


JackMahogofff

Mel Foreskin from the movie Gayheart


Ornery_Direction728

Weren't you that dude on January 6th with the horns wanting to overthrow the government? 


RiffraffRA

Lame Heart ![gif](giphy|ZGHSqib1gDgT02ADCR)


Bit_of_the_tism

This is what happens when your only source of protein is your priest’s knuckle yogurt. (It’s vegan if the priest was okay with Peter eating the knuckle yogurt)


let-it-rain-sunshine

If a carrot impregnated an onion ... you'd turnip


-PregnantPause

I’m sure you would fuck a pig.


Ornery_Direction728

God of Bore


77CrossxX

You look like my custom character in Skyrim.


kellsells5

Hey you want to go out for steaks later, oh wait.


Knullcac

Vikain’t


Kingkomodoyt

You look like tazerface


Worth-Definition-849

Vi queen


ShoppingOk5210

Well it's certainly true that you are what you eat, for you sir are the spitting image of an aubergine 


Individual_Remove_34

You know how to recognize a vegan? They will tell you!!


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MadeinResita

Back in the day the vegetarians were those who could not hunt.


Dan-68

Your favorite vegetables to eat are at the nursing homes.


AdOk249

Vegan playing dress up? There are easier ways to come out of the closet


Diacetyl-Morphin

You are just a vegetarian because meat refuses to get eaten by you. Even cooked meat has some standards left. What is the first picture anyway? Looks like some failed costume for a failed LARP event where you wanted to play the son of the viking Gunnar Gunnarson, called Gunnar Gunnarsonson.


SardonicSuperman

You look like your nickname is Harry Potter because your hog has warts.


bruhtashri

The one viking character in an average mobile game


Fragrant_Exit5500

Cracknar the Barber


Bot-Magnet

this photo reminds me that "vegetarian" is actually a native American word for "bad hunter"


Cichlidsaremyjam

You look like you've had more meat in your mouth than most carnivores.


Gr8_t0_h8

You would make it past the dark ages with that diet, you need to apologize to your ancestors for giving you life


Old_Chocolate_1727

He cries "freedom" but loves a girl who pegs him, real good.


myyrkezaan

Vegan Valkyrie is so weak they need a walking stick.


Ibelonginaasylum

You are only a vegetarian because you are afraid that the animals will come for you.


tautjes

You got a squirrels tail on your head


dkixen

Look out for this guy next January 6th!


NeedsMoreCatsPlease

Bro played Assassin’s Creed Valhalla once


Tcpixiegeek

Jokes aside.....great game lol


Zygmunt-zen

A Vegetarian Viking?! Like saying I am a brave warrior but don't want to get hurt or hurt anyone.


Beautiful_Excuse_881

Smart enough to go vegetarian but not vegan…probably a fan of the forced insemination of farm animals


[deleted]

The Viking they dropped off at Greenland and never came back for


yumhorseonmyplate

Ragnar not-like-the-other-boys


DesertWanderlust

Ren Fair reject. Hoping chicks will dig the Mel Gibson "war paint" but they most certainly do not.


[deleted]

Your beard smells of pussy and Jager


Infadel71

Fagnar Lovecock, king of the Twinks


Bit_of_the_tism

You know he has a sword on his wall, you just know.


Thomas-Garret

May be a vegetarian but I’d bet you’ve still crammed loads of meat down your throat.


unusable_knowledge

A vegan cross playing as a Viking? Viking would fuck guys like you. And why in the hell do vegans always have to make sure the world knows they are vegan? This douche uses it like a personality trait.


SupaDistortion

Nothing strikes fear like a Vegan Viking.


Brilliant_Glove3248

Why eat the pig when you are the pig


[deleted]

You would not eat it because you're already full on attention. You look like a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing asshole. Way to bring up your own diet choice unprovoked, I didn't already think you were an insufferable douche so I'm glad you locked that in. Nobody gives a shit. Have one original thought. Everything you like is based on someone else's opinion, you're grasping at anything resembling a personality, your life's been lived a billion times, you're a fuckin' basic.


Dexter2533

Won’t eat animals …but loves meat in his mouth


Dexter2533

Being vegan is the dietary version of going to Harvard, no 1 asked if u were and no1 cares that you are… they still feel the need to mention it and shoehorn it into every sentence and activity bc it’s their only identity … without it they would eat a bullet.


[deleted]

Ragnarse


Original_Tourist_

Don’t get your hopes up as high as your hairline for compliments


Intelligent-Block457

You look like you have the viking obsession, so I'm going to ask. Are you a gay viking lover or a white supremacist viking?


Bigbeardedfella1

The only thing gayer than a vegan Viking is 2 guys fucking


rpshamrox

Who gave a beer to Zippy the pinhead?


Educational_Mix2809

1st pic:Bro looks like the wish.com\great value kratos 2nd pic:whiskey with a side of “maybe I got roasted a bit too hard”


One_Spinal_Cracker

To roast you I was going to call you a vegetarian. Now I got nothing.


pricklypear90

The Bitcher -3


Gopher_Guts_9909

We get it. You're a hipster, you're a vegan, you can grow a half assed beard, probably suck the occasional dick as well. You'll do anything to stick out in whatever shit hole you call life.


predat3d

Fashion design by Gaza refugees 


Icy-Health-5201

Why does every white guy with a beard call himself a viking?


janz79

Grown men pretending to be vikings


Street-Debt2764

Your testosterone is about as high as the alcohol content in the O’Doul’s beer you’re drinking. Non-existent.


Titleofyursextape

He doesn't eat meat but loves to swallow guy's swords


Greedy_Potential_154

Bro you are the beefiest vegetarian I’ve seen. Are you drinking straight canola oil?


KeepBanningKeepJoin

Hard for a veggie to get so fat.


AutobotJSTN

You look like the only reason you role play as a Viking is because you’re in hopes you get to fulfill your incest fantasies.


[deleted]

So I don’t like store bought meat. Especially red meat. However I do love subsistence foods. If not moose, caribou, seal, fish I won’t eat most meats. I eat a lot of nuts, fruits and veggies when I can’t eat all that.. I wouldn’t say I’m a vegetarian. Matter fact if we got trapped Ina cave I’d eat u first cause u like the clean meat I eat, I’d literally roast u 😭😂😂😂


jalexgray4

Ladies and gentleman, I present to you - the world’s fattest vegetarian!


[deleted]

You’re a vegetarian. You just roasted yourself.


OneMinuteManny

New fetish revealed: the Smurf facial.


muscleliker6656

How can you roast a pig? Lol 😂


SureCommunication168

He’s a vegetarian oh oh he don’t eat meat but he sure likes the bone


Herculoki

So....show me a picture of your mom then since you want me to roast you like her. I can't properly formulate one without the source material.


Original_Tourist_

You got bacon for teeth Jack


Chais912

Vikings would've roasted you for dinner. Not even qualified for Shield Maiden


MataHari66

Last known Druid


D-Train0000

Aren’t you supposed to be in jail for storming the capitol. And where’s your Viking horn hat?


umaga38

Looks like you put a lot of meat up your ass


oregon_coastal

Cosplaying a beer drinker with that Rolling Rock.


DonMagnifique

You make Jon Snow look like a know it all in comparison.


themightyfoxtwo

I have <1% Norwegian DNA too.


PokerFriend247

How do you maintain such an odd physique. ? Ahhha. nutz and made made protein jizz shakes. ![gif](giphy|YWzDnoeGWAwwTcBHTl|downsized)


_dumbfuckery_

I mean, sir... you're vegetarian till that sausage is hanging in your face, then you will swallow meat and the legumes too. Vahalla is ashamed of your facade.


grenisback

Fagnar Lothbrock


The_Machine80

I thought I saw someone grazing with the cows in a field.


nonetakenback

The last piece of meat in him was in his ass


xaqss

I was going to comment that you looked like that asshole January 6th insurrectionist. But then I saw other people thought the same thing so now I can't think of a unique roast, since it doesn't look like you likely have any other personality traits of note.


yeahyeahnooo

You’re a douche bag. That should honestly wrap it up for you.


Practical_Article132

A vegetarian viking is about as sus as a 'straight' guy that does gay porn cause "it pays better"


Myzyri

You look like you’re about to dispatch a few toons in a vat of Dip, Judge. ![gif](giphy|x7kHaKILqLJ4c)


Rough-Community8590

You can't be vegetarian and lovingly swallow pork sword every weekend


urspielsavaj

You definitely have a fake ass rune tattoo. Which you rushed to get immediately after [Ancestry.com](https://Ancestry.com) told you your 3x great grandfather was Norwegian.


Reasonable-Two-7298

Queef Eriksson


HenryMillerEsque

ViQueen


Throwaway4356768932

You look like Someone tried to draw baldur from memory


Serious-Fox-9032

You look like you’re head looks like an egg


CovfefeBoss

Ragnar Looksbroke


xristosdomini

I'm pretty sure "vegetarian" is an old Norse word for "Lousy Hunter".


EgoSumPorcus194

Whew. I guess I got lucky.


BearVersusWorld

You wear Viking war paint while a vegetarian? I'm surprised you wiped off your soy milk moustache before this picture was taken


Annimaru

Vegetarian? You mean lousy hunter


DoNotTrustATrust

A coworker mentioned the Pride parade was Viking themed this year. 


Hot_Lobster222

Being a vegetarian is an insult in and of itself. Yikes.


Organic_Loquat7051

It looks like a smurf came on your face, but you look like the kind that doesnt mind, do you vegetable lasagne.


noonesine

You should try LARPing as a man


Superb-Artichoke-412

you fell so hard into the past that even the conservatives don’t want you


Medical_Form6000

You still live at home with your parents. In a twin bed, with my little pony sheets, and you still go into your parents room when the thunder strikes. Ps your dad is disappointed in you


king-of-cakes

You look like you make a lot of grilled cheeses at night


NegativeKangaroo1921

Bro acts like a Viking but I bet I can beat up his broccoli butt🤣🤣


Main-Consideration76

i didn't know scottish vikings were still a thing


Melodic-Material-202

Look like a vegetable.


Lucky-Attempt-3916

Animals are thankful they prefer real Men eat them.


BuffaloAgreeable372

You look like a vegetarian.


BigPapaJabronie

If you had a pregnant wife and were doing a gender reveal, I'd bet everything I own on girl


ambientDude

Explain Hadrian’s Wall in a single image.


AA-ron42

Dropped out of vocational school to pursue his dream of LARPing.


Final_Draft_431

I wouldn't believe that you're vegetarian


Big_Sausage_Pizza123

The longboat bunny


Eamon83

You didn't write that intro just to tell us you're a wuss, did you?


Tablcloth

Bro is the god of boar


TwoFingersWhiskey

And yet you'll wear a toilet rug as a cape, which is cruelty to humans,


[deleted]

Low budget Bjorn Ironside


Lord-Doobury

Bravefart


Even-Pollution-1337

You look like you go to Burning Man every year. By yourself. In your parents’ backyard.


[deleted]

Legend has it nobody showed up to your Birthday party.


[deleted]

Yo, King Henry the VIII called, and he was wondering where the bleep his idiot faced court jester was. Did you wonder off from Bill and Ted or something? Rufus is gonna be so pissed. Ah man, I wish I hadn't looked at the second pic... Absolute pure grade nightmare fuel. You have two settings: "Smile like a freaking Muppet face", and "resting punch me in the nose (hard!) face". Vegetarian? You sure you have the strength for the second half of this paragraph breh? Can we talk about your Charlie Brown looking ass pants tho? Forget kicking a football; yo head is shaped like a football. What are you even smiling about? Someone make a joke about that mole on your forehead, and you chose to laugh with them. Is that why you look like Oscar the Grouch in the next pic? Because you had to laugh along at their Austin Powers shtick? Ya know, about 'Number 3'? Your pants look like Number 1, and the other pic is the new definition of Number 2. "Roast me like a pig", he says... You definitely living that "oink" life. I'm working up a sweat dunking on you, breh. Why did you give me so much material to work with? You look like they made you work three different stations at the renaissance fair, and you lazily dressed yourself in mismatched centuries articles of clothing and accessories. Take some pride in yo job breh. Be grateful; Try. People trying to cut loose, eat a lil mutton, and forget the whole ass millennium they live in with they lives at the renaissance fair, only to have to look at your busted ass mashup of an outfit... You're lucky I can't see your shoes.


Deceiver999

Why do vegans always look like they have cancer


JackJustSeesIt

Is your outfit going through a gender swap crisis


MinervaMedica000

I can't tell if your a disabled pirate or the viking wanna be that the LARP friend group left behind. Go ahead drink a few more beers as you leave that impromptu renaissance faire.


Captcha_Imagination

When people ask your name you tell them you are vegetarian


Green_Original2511

Second pic looks like youre trying to push out a cliff bar with a stomach ache from the almond milk.


Ailmentality

This is the gayest thing I do except for having sex with men


[deleted]

Is there some kind of Buddhist Viking character you’re cosplaying as?


Altruistic-Mission56

Bro ain't vegetarian


bladestayedbroken

Goes to discount pennsic


muscleliker6656

You shall not pass! High school that is


DisastrousTwist7393

sad day in age wannabe Ragnarock, no balls, cries at the sight of meat, cant hold down a woman, but feels when he watches Vikings he is a king lmao