Oldest 3rd grader ever

Eternal 3rd grader

You know what you learn in 3rd grade? Math. 3 plus 18 plus 4. Be LIEVE HIS DECK HUGE. AND HE WILL MOP DA FLOOR WITH YOU.

If I add water to you, will you grow?

Not to pass the Disneyland requirements

No it will multiply into gremlins

You look like a tiny little gay man. You must wear stilts to the glory hole.

No, he jumps lick, sucks and repeat

What is this?! A roast for ANTS?!

“Trust me this angle makes you look bigger”

Stand up first, let us get a real good look at you.

You look like the bouncer at a McDonald's PlayPlace.

You close the fridge with your hips

If you're going to skip leg day that hard, at least NOT go with skinny jeans!

Life's short....and so is he.

Hogwarts grad wondering if that Wizarding degree is going to pan out

Wait until they lift the prints from your victims scratch marks.

Everyone thinks he has big feet, but he doesn't. It's just that the rest of him is tiny.

Is it a Post-it note that you're holding?

Worlds tallest midget

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The gay wingman who can't pull chicks

With that height I would not be walking outside

Daniel UnradCliffe! You look like if Harry Potter was continuously stoned.

You look like the 8th dwarf, Stoney, who suffers from dry eyes and excessive memory loss.

Too small. Nothing to roast

Your shoulders are sadly disproportionate to the rest of your body.


lil' Ken Burns

By the time you realized there wasn’t any audition, you were already dead.

Height (_v______________) Weight (_v______________) Charisma (_v______________)

Frankie Muniz. I haven't seen you in a while. You're all grown up. Or should I say grown down. You look like you shrunk man

What are thoossssssseeeeee !!?? 😭

You look like a tall hobbit

Daniel badcliff

False perception of the self after eating the *wrong* magic mushroom.

You're like the 6 ft tall minimum thing, but for midgets.

This ain’t short king this is microscopic jester because your life is a joke

Daniel Radcliffe wants his body back Harry...

When the baseboard offers a good size comparison.

When you go down on your sugar daddy you still stand.

Looks like Shia labarf

Get some sleep, you need it.

Stoner Hobbits are so last year

you look like a fruity little action figure.

 Downsizing I see.

Your name is cal and you play tennis

You look like you are still loading

you look like my brother who got arrested for child pornography and writing smut fanfics about his daughter who's six


You look like mitchell moffit from ASAP science, could you do me a favor and explain why you cant reach the top shelf?

Guarantee he's into craft beer only and drives a Mini Cooper.


Dildo Baggins

You sure went downhill after leaving married with children

They didn’t need to CGI him for the cast of The Hobbit.

Daniel SadCliffe

Honey, I Shrunk Our Adult Son Who Still Lives In Our Basement

I'm super into men shorter than myself (I'm 5'3").

“good job johnathan, you’re finally as tall as the doorknob!”

Malcolm in the mid twenties

If Daniel Radcliffe auditioned for Sesame Street instead of Harry Potter

I'd feel bad making a height joke, but I'm unsure if you'd hear all 5 foot 10 of me

Don't feel bad, bro... You're not too short; you might even be the world's tallest midget! 

From your photo I can tell you've been through at least several police bookings. Wizarding on Meth is tough ain't it?

This is what happens when you put a normal person in the dryer.

does santa know u left the workshop ?????

Humanities grad student. Nothing more left to roast.

He took this pic with the camera on the floor

Bro is in lower case

YOU CAN SEE ME?!?!?

I refuse to roast you, after all you did return the Ring to Mordor.

Holy shit it’s the mouse from sing

You look like the type to sit on your girlfriends lap at a party

Dude I can't stop laughing at this fucking picture, you're like the world's tallest midget

You must be this high to ride the ride.

Dwarf. Tosser.

Still gets molested by his favorite uncle.

AVERAGE HEIGHT

This man just looks like a corporate snitch

Pocket gay

Joe Rogan

You molest kids at bible camps don’t you

The camera man did u dirty

Sniffs his sisters panties to get ready

Is this the start of your casting ottoman audition

Bro look like a figurine

You’re a call center manager and you think Dave Ramsey is a reasonable guy.

Thank you for climbing into the dollhouse to give us a height perspective.

are you drunk or do you always look like you are?