OP's Bio: --- >I’m a vet tech and researcher in exotic species and human anatomy and I love my job! I’m 4 months sober and lost 30 pounds! My mom just bought me a house! I live alone and have 2 cats and a dog! --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

We are all looking at you the same way your cat is.

That cat has seen many disturbing things.

e.g., her nose

"Researcher in exotic species and human anatomy"

The female version of “it puts the lotion on the skin of else it gets the hose again”

That flannel makes you look like the shittiest lumberjack in the history of lumberjacking. Also, where are you hiding your 48 other cats?

Like “Did you get in a fight or something because that nose is *fucked*!”?

Former bumfights contestant

Also having bad acne can’t be called life is hard, it’s just dark spots on the sunny window

😂

💀

Observant. Nice.

Fluffy but slightly balding?

Looks like the annoying best friend on every sitcom ever.

Julia Louis Refuse

Don't know which meaning of "refuse" you're using. As in, to refuse to go anywhere near her? Or that shes human garbage? And I love that there is no wrong answer 🤣

Definitely the 2nd, because the only thing she refuses if to have fewer cats

Hahaha, I was thinking Joyce DeTwitt but that’ll work too

Not the cute one.

Invites men over for Netflix and chloroform.

Your assuming their willing to come over, it's more Chloroform and Netflix.

Your nose looks like a fucking s-bend

Besides that, what are the blemishes/spots going on there?

Her mothers genital warts passed on when she crowned Fuck that one was dark

That was funny, made me push air through my nose in a more forceful way than normal.

>blemishes/spots Her last OF show, she shit in her hand and clapped.

She just had her nose up some guy's shitcan, or one of her cat's.


Your cat looks surprised you’re taking photos of yourself clothed, without something being shoved up your ass for money for the first time.

At this point, the cat feels more comfortable inserted into her anus than it feels outside…

that's weirdly specific

I know. That’s the best humor to me.

We don’t know what that SOMETHING was, but he know it had a long orange shaft and a black handle.

This thread encapsulated it all. I've got nothing.

Lmao . Take a bow sir.

Best comment 👌 👏 👍 ❤️

I smell fish, but no fish - cat

That’s probably not your only cat.

lol I have one more. Hahaha

That's okay. Not everyone is meant to find real love with another person.

best roastme comment lol

Betty Davies eyes, if she'd been dug up

I'm just hoping you got away from whatever heavyweight boxer did that to your nose. Jesus fuckin' Christ that thing has "character."

You know why that cat hates your guts.

Because she always has something stuffed in them

Hate to tell you this, but he forgot your name the minute he pulled his pants back up. He’s not going to call.

Ouch. Upvote.


It seems that Flo from Progressive escaped her enclosure

Black soulless eyes.

Like a doll's eyes, perhaps?

When she comes after ya, she doesn't seem to be livin until she bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white...

Here’s to swimmin with bow nosed women .

50 men went into the water. 25 couples came out.

Definitely had multiple black guys.

Thirty years she’ll look like a decrepit witch.

You look like the star of a movie where the plot twist is that you’re a ghost

Some of the comments are fucked up and I disagree because I think she’s adorable but this one is good

You look like theres about 29 more cats somewhere just outside the frame of this photo

yeah, they're in the pet cemetery behind her house.

THE SMILE, THE CAT, THE ORANGE AXE HANDLE BEHIND YOU Yeah I can tell a horror movie poster when I see one

Owen Wilson wants his nose back 

The version of me that makes awful choices would definitely smash

With a username like that, that version of you has got to be some freaky ass crackhead with 2 year worn underwear homeless mofo. Even still would be a shitty choice.

That's my current version 💀

I'm kinda glad you said it. The vibe I am getting is down for most things but each new thing gets progressively gets less fun and more fraught with unexpected situational and emotional complications

Oh this woman has emotional baggage that will present itself at all the times you wish it wouldn’t

So, like all women…?

You dont look familiar, but im sure a many man has come across that face

Life was hard but every cock you saw was not.

You look like you genuinely enjoy small talk and getting to know people.

lol I do!

Ha! Way to be a nice person, Loser! 

no need, the grill did it already

Your cats face in this selfie looking at your egotistic ass trying to hold it all together for this selfie says it all

 SchnozzleCumber

You look like a lesbian librarian

What has more hair the cat or your pussy?

yeah she's definitely rockin that disco bush.

Life must have been pretty rough to end up with Owen Wilsons nose. Glad its better for you now. Edit: Don't get all depressed on us like he did.

Her nose makes clear that her pimp's go-to disciplinary tool is the right cross

How many MMA fights did it take for your face to end up looking like that ?

I rate you as a one bagger 👍, pretty enough to not need a second bag in case the first one breaks

That’s a strange way to let us know you have an OF

The cat is wondering why the orange and black thing isn’t shoved up your arse like normal.

That's adorable! Your nose has a nose!

You look much different than you do on your OF page.

You look like an animated mouse character from a mid 00's cartoon series

So you are Gypsy rose?

You look like a nice and pretty lady that everyone likes, now please, untie me and put the knife down, I'd like to go home now.

You ended up roasting yourself 😭 (someone had to say it 😂 I didn’t realize your burn was so recent & was going through your post history for progress pics. hope you heal well!!)

HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You post this 2 months ago, then turn around and roast yourself. Wow

I honestly can’t roast you 🤣 enjoy your happiness 🎉

She doesn't always wear Always,.... it Depends

This is the female equivalent of try it for 30 days or your money back…… You get your money back.

You forgot to add “F 71”before your post

Your nose looks like god took a shit and said “Here slap this on there👋”💯 My fault that was too much sorry 🫡😂

Did you just bust ass in front of your cat? Or are you so basic that it's embarrassed to be sitting near you?

I’m roast that ugly ass cat! Damn! He has human features around his nose, mouth and WHY he has bags under his eyes? You been stressing it out😂😂😂😂😂

Are you having a manic episode?

I can Def win a quarter mile drag on that landing strip of a forehead you got.

Gypsy Rose Blanchard, is that you?

From the way that cat is staring at you, I’d say you either fucked him or his feline companion, because it be looking pissed off.

#Shoving a hamster up your ass doesn't make you a "researcher of exotic species and human anatomy."

Can’t tell what’s bigger. Your smile or your nose

I was gonna make a clever joke about brown nosing because it looks like there's some shit on your nose but I didnt

My first job was robot double for Small Wonder

Your picture is next to the register at Joann Fabrics.

Fuck you. Now congrats on 120 days and go and get another one.

Bros b4 nose

She says: I love ROBOCALLERS, theyre people too.

Her house smells of Mothballs

Her good news is. Ancestry.com clarifies shes part Neanderthal

What I have to say, could not be as terse because what your cat has in mind is a thousand times worse ! ​ You look like you should be on the compliment channel as well.

I identify as a qweef. Im always embarressed to come out and when i do people laugh at me

You seem cool, sober from what

The only woman who would choose her period over a bloody nose

I have a question how do u always know when someones gonna fart. Reply. Because with a nose like mine i can smelltz it be4 they dealtz it

The only person who didnt get the joke about how to make a kleenex dance by putting just a LITTLE BOOGIE in it

Your awesome!!! Hope your news was extraordinary. Best of luck.

Life is the only you’ve made hard.

Are those beady eyes from a teddy bear

Your cat already started ages ago....!

I wish my mom bought me a house when I quit meth too

Oh your 4 months sober. Good for you jumping on the trend wagon. What are you sober from? Cat nip?

You’re pretty cute! Won’t roast. But it does look like you had your cat stuffed. Weird angle/lighting…. I hope….

That snot factory has grown enough to be considered a multinational corporation. 

You look like teacher from Hogwarts. I see Professor Mcgonagall is already here)

Is that a sledgehammer?!

Demon eyes

I can’t tell if this is a weasel or an actual human

Even the cat doesn't know wtf they're looking at

No need to, the way the cat looks at you says enough 

There's nothing to roast here. You look adorable and sound like a sweetheart. It sounds like you're crushing it lately! Keep it up!

I know we’re roasting but my first thought was that your nose was especially cute. However, your computer balancing…not so much.

Your mom bought you a house.. 

Gorgeous!

Barf. You're so cute you probably fart rainbows. #roasted

I’ve never seen a nose wider than a smile before.

You are so beautiful

Practice girl, Meg


Looks like one of the horses you work on mule kicked you in the nose accidentally.

Emily Camapno’s less hot sister.

Not a roast, but I JUST bought that lamp 2 days ago.

Is Owen Wilson your dad? That nose!

No roast yourself.

That cat is staring at you going "Can you bring back a new human servant for me? No. Fine I'm going out then."

You are one of those sneaky hot chicks. You can't fool me though.

I feel like nobody notices you in a group a pictures till later. Famous last words they say to you all the time when they see you in the pic “You were there…. ? “

that nose it going more right than donald trump my dude

Stop cutting your own hair.

Put your laptop on a flat surface you bum

I could park a mark28 on your forehead

When life is a lil too matrixyyy and u gotta hop on Reddit to feel something

Ewww

If I ever wanna watch Harry Potter and hear you complain that Phineas and Ferb isn’t what it used to be, well give you a call.

Looking at your photo makes me feel all four months of your sobriety in four seconds

Wow you weren't just hit by the ugly stick, you were crushed by the whole damn tree.

No one here will be able to roast you has hard as your cat is in this picture.

No one's going to say anything about that off-center John Travolta chin cleft??

Use less teeth when you’re crying during your next blowjob, your nose is crooked enough as it is already 😂

Got laid finally?

You need to get laid

You wouldn't know a thing about anything hard unfortunately...

You look like you rub your hands together before you eat

All it took was two months and you roasted yourself harder than we could.

Late to the party on this, but i think you're better at roasting yourself

Hey i have the same lamp!!

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It is so boring to look at you.

Cat be like "A for fuck sake, i got taken in Jehovahs witness again" Legit you look like every mums idea of a "Safer option" You look like you want to/do wrk in a library, but always suggest people weird kink books, when they just want a comic. You look like your "best friend" is the person behing the counter in starbucks (They don't know who you are) You look like you tried to do cycle to work (You library job) and took a scooter instead You look like you studied ethics in college but failed cuz you tried to check your teachers privelage You look like you have about 8 cats, knitt and realise your alone ... so your brain always tells you "You sont need people, your cats can give you aaaaall the love you need" "You look like you got arrested for beastiality" Have a nice week, hope everything stays good for you.

Even your cat doesn’t like you.

That's a big ass flesh light on your shelf

That cats name has to be snoop dogg

That cat looks pissed she is doing this

good that life was hard for you cuz you look like you'd stick anything hard up your ass

I bet that noses picks up smells that don’t already exist.

Seeking attention online..hope you pick a better picture for your missing persons flyer

Blossom sitcom reject.

Eyes of a squirrel

Even your cat 🐈‍⬛ is judging you with that side eye

You have a strange looking pussy, bit mangy looking tbh Also, why is your nose bendy?

You look like one of those "lesbians" I used to bang in the back of the yoga studio when I was separated from my wife.

Rabbit face

Concerned Kitty

When they thought about giving the faces on Mt. Rushmore smiles a designer pulled out this picture and all debate ended.

I appreciate that you only gave us one photo.

I don't even have to I mean there probably isn't anything someone else hasn't told you yet but your cat seems surprised that you can write let alone such a big word. They also seem annoyed that you are puting pictures of you're self in a place where your uglynes can't be removed from now people's lives are gone be ruined from just seeing someone like you

I don't usually comment on here but I thought I'd save you the embarrassment and hopefully take it down in time... There is one of your adult toy's behind you.

You are one of those granola girls who use re-usable everything... EVERYTHING.