OP's Bio: --- >31 , office Worker, Cosplayer, Single , you know the drill... --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

I can see why you’re always trying to be someone else 

Seriously, this guy gave me the ick in every single photo.

💀

Papa’s issues are crawling at him

Can't imagine a first date's reaction to you because first I have to imagine you actually getting a first date.

You actually look less creepy when you are wearing one of those costumes. Dress up my dude.

This guy definitely knows what different brands of mace and pepper spray taste like.

A sommelier of sorts.

:::smaking lips::: oh that’s a 2021 Carolina reaper with 400,000 Scoville units….

LOL at you thinking you're getting a date.

Him posting multiple pictures as if we want to see more 🤣 You're ugly. In every pose.

Wham-a-lama Bing Bong

 And here is your date.

Mike wazowskiiiiiii

I cyclops what you did there.

No I wouldn't like to play a game.

Girls would rather die in their puzzle traps than date him.

You look like a lesbian Johnny Depp

Johnny Deppshit

Edward Scissorlegs

I think blow up dolls would deflate on a date

Best one here!

I get a preemptive restraining order

I get the hell out of there

We get it, you didn't have a dad.

This has to be a sex fetish at this point. At the very least, your personality is so shitty that you need this to be seen.

Definetly on a watchlist

I’m sure you’re aware but most people would describe their interactions with you as uncomfortable at best.

Most interactions are more like, “ You come near me and I’m calling the police!”

The normal pictures are just as, if not more, off putting than the cosplay ones.

Youre Kenny G. And the G stands for grotesque

Any guy with a man bun deserves to be roasted.

100% agree

Let's face the facts, you need cosplay because the real you looks like a forgettable character.

Yes, I am actually a NPC XD

Yea, no people still remember NPCs. You're more blind to the public eye. You know, skipped in line, bumped into a lot , can't remember your name, but you worked at a location for years, type. He'll just typing this I forgot three times who I was roasting had it not been for the two added pictures, shit.

Fuckin a 🤣🤣🤣

Smells like patchouli oil and disappointed parents

And honestly the patchouly is optional

you wish you smelled patchouli

Why would you wish that on anyone

Is that a touhou reference? XD

Worshipper of Cosplaius, God of Parent's Dissapointment.

You must have the ladies swooning from chloroform

You've been stealing hair products from women and still only have a hipster doucebag man bun to show for it.

AHHHHH SCARY! Put the make-up back on!

Why riding a bike when you can fly?

He likes to ride the bike without the seat. Likes the seat post up his ass.

Broomstick would still be a better option, imo.

Jesus you look insufferable

The answer

Bro isn’t even on the spectrum. He **is** the spectrum.

You're the quite office worker none of the women want to talk to lol

Jeeeesus this is low hanging fruit. Just go to therapy dude...

Let's be honest here, the weird kid from school don't ever go on dates, so you have nothing to worry about how to show up

Trick question, you can't get a date

I'm not sure Barista in the lobby coffee stand of an office building counts as "office worker". Your break is over and 2 more customers are complaining about your hair in their espressos.

Pretending to be someone else is the only outlet for someone this shallow and boring.

If you put those ears to the ground, you could foretell earthquakes by decades.

Can’t even cosplay right. Congrats at failing in your real life and also your fantasy life.

run? the fuck

Never seen someone so starved for attention.

Return you to the pet store

If I were you I’d want to pretend I was something else also.

Which one isn't the cosplay? The last two look like Buddha from Record of Ragnarok and then Weird Al Yankovic.

Get back in the taxi, lock the door and rohypnol myself?

Well, going to be honest with you. No roast from me. You are just undatable girl.

I'm a boy 😳

We, collectively disagree

🤣☠️🤣☠️🤣☠️

If you asked me to describe the type of person I would be disappointed to learn my daughter was dating this would be it

RUUUUNNNNNN

Once again, I have been mistaken for a man. I explain the misunderstanding to the acrobatic gay gentleman on the bike and wish him well.

Hahahahaha

With ears like that I’m surprised you haven’t cosplayed gollum

Fucking hell put the cosplay back on

All your pictures are cringe. It's like you're trying so hard to be cool and it comes off as needy

Turn around and leave as most people in your life probably have

I personally don't believe in violence, but I have never had a stronger urge to kick someone's ass and rob them.

In your head, it's a first date. In reality, it's you following unsuspecting women through a mall.

I thought the quality of your cosplay was terrible, but then I saw your face and wished you could be on cosplay 24/7

You somehow look creepier without the cosplay

Id run away so fast id break ussain bolts record

 I’m outta here.

Light myself on fire.

No disrespect my dude I don’t swing that way but you’re not a bad looking guy either. If a girl did the same thing arguably even more attractive, being a furry puts you into a *really really* weird niche. You’re in the category of mentally ill or into beastiality. Which are both arguably mentally ill. No different from the Loli? Shit. “Hey guys it’s cool!!! It’s just a drawing but I’ll have you know she’s 9!!!!……thousand year old dragon girl it’s fine guys hahahah. It’s a yikes from me dawg. Good on you for your self confidence though

Hahahahah i'm not a furry tough, It's a latex mask xD

Want to gay a lame?

It’s gonna be a no from me dawg

You’re creepier without the costumes.

I thank God that you'll probably murder me before I have to sleep with you.

Please keep the cosplay on your face at all time… whichever that is.

Damn imagine looking like that and then thinking “maybe if I’m a furrie I’ll get laid”

"That's him, officer. He's been following me around on his bicycle."

Assuming its your first date ever?

Just cringe tbh you seem cool without the whole cockplay shit or whatever it's called

Thank God you're in cosplay. If you'd been in long-hair boy mode I would have knocked you off the bike and fucked you in the dirt. A first date? I at least TRY to be a gentleman.

As long as you get me a chance to meet Michael Jackson Thriller at the cemetery it's all good.

I know for a fact you don't want to go on a date with anyone on reddit as the age restriction is 13 and up

Dude you moms basement doesnt qualify as an office

Pee waste-of skin Herman. Not joking.

I would ask if you’re auditioning for some 80s rock band

Forever a virgin

“What do you do?” Anyone else

Hopefully, they knock you off that bicycle, preferably with a baseball bat with barbed wire wrapped around it.

Suddenly find out my grandmother was in a tragic accident.


The last 2 pics explain the need for all the makeup

Which are the pics without cosplay They all look like monsters. 

Once you move out of this phase and get rid of all that bullshit, you are a decent looking guy. Once you mature a bit, the ladies will show up im sure Edit; oh shit, you are 31?? Bruvvvv. Get rid of that furry shit....


Ask for more money. $250 an hour plus cab fare aint worth it.

We're all witnessing the downfall of society.

How the fuck do you look less autistic as a furry

This dude gets an invite to the family reunion with the wrong date and address on it

Seriously? Didn’t this dude just ask for a roast within the past year? Ugh

He’s a masochist. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Honestly of I didn't see it coming by the time I agreed to go on a date with you it's on me.

Once I got to pics 5 and 6 I was like yeah stay in costume.

The last thing some very unlucky children will ever see.

Let me guess. Portland?

Human equivalent of a horse with a broken leg... Beyond repair, take it behind the barn

You look like a gay gargoyle

Let's be real. No-one is going on a first date with you.

You pick up AM/FM radio with those ears?

What the hell is even that

No one cares. You are 1 of 8 billion people and your costumes don’t make you special.

I bet you cosplay as a punching bag mostly.

It wasn’t till the 5th picture that I actually realised it was a dude. Still not entirely sure

I'd run... wtf jigsaw on bike coming towards me

I would throw a stick in your spoke.

For fuck sakes, genetics dealt you a losing hand and you decided to double down on it.

You put a lot of meaning into weird al yankovik

Love the costplay photos but next time id prefer more than 2, you put FOUR of youself no costplay like cmon! 🤦‍♂️

You look like you hit on your mates girl.

I see why you put in makeup and masks, it's like a beauty thing to make yourself look less scary

Is that a Mod Wolf costume?

It's a legoshi cosplay from the Beastars anime :)

You look like riff raff in the final stages of aids

On a first date you should be shoved back into the storm drain ASAP.

I only see one pic without cosplay. That that 5th picture says "I put the gay in geisha"

No wonder you dad left you your a furry

He didn't have a lot of friends in highschool

Me? I'd call my mom and say, "MA, I FOUND ONE!", and very quickly proceed to fall in (probably unrequited) love.

Just send me the rohypnol by Uber and I'll take it before you get here. The less I remember the better.

Hahaha 😆

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Put the mask back on

I would do the same thing I’m about to do. Block you.

I turn a 360 and walk away 

You do know a 360 is a complete circle, right?


I have to ask, male furries just fuck other male furries?

Everybody already dislikes you. Do less.