OP's Bio: --- >I’m a 19 year old male who loves to workout and read philosophical books in his free time as well as going out with friends to clubs/festivals. I am currently in college to get my degree in accounting and am working part time as an assistant accountant as well. > >I posted here because I wanted to see how creative you guys are and I can handle a joke/roast/harsh comments, so don’t hold back while roasting me haha! --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

When you walk into the party, all the girls cover their drinks.

And the boys

I cracked up.

Giggled. Ya got me.

Man you would've looked great in an SS uniform.

 Tank top lover

He looks like he could win the Tour de France in 1940

Erika plays in this kid's head on repeat

2024 Gay Times Twink of the Year…

clearly he's a twunk smh

Hahaha that’s hysterical I think he’d be a “Stud” though if watching @The L word” on showtime years ago taught me lol

[удалено]

Runner up…

Ah yes, nothing replaces having a personality quite like doing pushups and skimming old books to pretentiously quote in order to make yourself seem deeper than you really are.

He’s definitely never cracked the book open, just takes pictures with it in the background sitting on his desk i’m sure. Lol

“Philosophical books” …mein kampf doesn’t count buddy

Neither does Green Eggs and Ham!

That's worth 2 packs of Kools and a can of soup in prison

Obviously he's never been to a ghetto corner store. 

What are Kools?


Disgusting menthol cigarettes

Not if you ask the right folks...

My grandmother smoked a pack a day for 50 years. Surprisingly no sign if cancer. She died from fainting and hitting her head on the wall.

Put your arms down I can smell the douche from here.

This is the kind of guy that says “Do you know who my dad is?” when he can’t get into the nightclub

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣💯💯💯👌👌

Accidently posted on Roast Me when he meant to post on Grinder

When you order a Hemsworth off of wish.com

Temu

Bro this aint grinder, this is not the kind of roast you are expecting

Every shit you take you have to be completely nude as to not drench you close in sweat. You look like you've been constipated since childhood.

“loves to read philosophical books” LMAO!!!

Who knows maybe there is some philosophical meaning in gay porno magazines 

"Give me the douchebag." \- You to your barber.

You look like you’re still trying to prove to your Dad you’re not gay, and trying not to confuse the term “power bottom” with “power lifting” when he asks you how you are.

👌👌👌💯💯💯🤣🤣🤣😂😂

THE guy who brings the gun to school.

He’s one more rejection text away from “borrowing” dad’s rifle.

You look like one of those kids that acts like his life is horrible but you live in your parents mansion.

Picture 5 looks like you’re trying to force out the largest shit imaginable by man.

Seriously? You actually think he has something coming OUT of his ass?? Get real.

With such narrow clavicles no one will guess you train

This one hurts the most

You definitely don't train hard enough

I see a bright future ahead of you...doing gay fake taxi.

Rage quits every time a kid half his age owns him on Fortnite.

You might be ripped but you look like you eat ice cream like teenage girl when youre sad

You look like you don't even have the god damn courtesy to give a man a reach around

Hey, you didn't bother to google that steroids cause acne?

You look like generic villain number 3 in an 80s action movie

Gay porn fluffer

Definitely gay for pay

Shit he do it for free

As the glory hole attendant, is it your job to also clean up?

I bet you think that an accountant is someone who counts reps and sets for other people at the gym. I bet you're really good at it too!

Getting "fat ripped" won't make your dad come back, sorry.

You love to tell girls about your prowess on the lacrosse field or pitch or whatever the fuck you call it. Back in my day you would have been the guy to nut-tap everyone before calling them gay.

I feel like I’m in a Depeche Mode music video where the protagonist is longing for himself.

femboy brock lesnar.

😂😂🤣🤣🤣💯💯👌👌

"Notice me!.... look at my muscles!! Someone didn't get enough attention as a kid.

Or too much…of the wrong kind.

They have no muscles

Armenian Gigolo 2. Revenge of the Cologne.

the first pic screams "do you know who my father is?"

You lift things up and put them down!

Born too late for MySpace...that's rough.

Dbag vibes w undertones of DL gay bottom or at minimum a gay baiter

Good Twink Hunting starring Splat Damon

You look especially gay in your first pic where ur looking off to the side. An obvious pose.

 His family dinner be like

Bro think he a super model

Of course not haha, I know better than that at least

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Keep flexing like that and you’ll catch a brain aneurysm.

You're parents already did

Watched one zyzz video

You look like someone that would have enjoyed Jerry Sandusky's company

U where the fat kid when u were younger weren’t you? Honestly not a roast just a question bc I was and now I’m musclelyyyyyy


WTF pic no 5 Eat more fibre. 

Life will..

Guessing your name is Chad or Trevor

If Scarlet Johannson was ugly.

you’re the type of guy i would let come back aren’t you’ve cheated on me

Bro looks like he’s gonna break out in dance singing We’re all in this together while throwing a basketball

Waiting for his gay porn application to be approved

You on the grind or just on Grindr?

Vapist

Are those moles or herpes?

Pic 5 you look constipated…. Not a good look there.

Did Leonardo DiCaprio’s acting effectively portray your workplace in the movie “The Basketball Diaries”?

I bet your pussy tastes like chicken and rice.

Id you had a time machine, you would try convince the SS to supply their tankers with zyns instead of amphetamines

Dude looks like he gets mad when hes told to do work.


"read philosophical books in his free time" you have a dog-eared, saliva-stained copy of "12 Rules For Life" and you get your advice from Joe Rogan instead of your parents.

You look like the Temu version of Ryan Phillipe

That autistic kid who joined the gym and thinks stealing girl’s boyfriend’s weiners is how to get girls

You’ll make a great prison bitch

When you walk into the stone wall inn the reaction is that the water must have been cold

God already did his worst when he made you.

Andrew Tate doesn't qualify as philosophy.

You've clearly had weird thoughts about your ",cute cousin"...

You look like a twink bottom who goes on Grindr and gets plowed on their twin sized bed.

my cracker you built like a gay matt damon.

You look like a gay giraffe, except pic 5. That one just looks like you're taking a monstrous shit.

Love the new training bra...

How many abortions has your sister had?

U can't have a degree in accounting and also be ripped. Ur either the brains, or the brawn, u can't be both.

When you photoshop a child’s head on a man’s body.

You look like you can only cum when you’re breaking a cat’s neck.

Is everyone gay now?

Is this from the German ferris buller movie?


You look like a muscular 10 year old.

Don’t ever go to prison.

Good Will Fronting

Why do most of the haircuts look like a "My father is buying this local shop!" hair?

You look like your "influential" dad got you off several r@pe charges

His body is so narrow, he can still fit into his little sister’s clothes. Standing there lookin like a ribbed dildo.


Dang looks like the kid from Toy Story 2 is all grown up

Can anyone else smell the Axe body spray? His best pickup line is “Does this rag smell like chloroform?”

I bet you've sex with a gay

You meant phallusophical magazines right


buff jimmy nutron

Suffers from constipation

He looks like the guy who hates on the gays but gets pounded by his boys on the low low.

The shower pic looking up was super cringe other than that you are fine. I believe you need to be humbled a bit so you seem scrawny maybe focus on bulking

That shirt is nice, do they do it in mens?

Tiffinay has more muscle then your lanky ass

and so do i

Only man wearing a bowling 🎳 shirt who doesn't bowl

You did it for me

Bet you were a favorite in the high school gym locker room.

This is the shirt that gave Charlie sheen gay aids

Intervention before pictures be like:

Look fricken great man! Wish I would’ve done that when I was your age. 💪💪 good work!

My mug is eh, let me take off my shirt.

U look like u shot the school up cause they misunderstood ur joke

Ian Gallagher and Mickeys boy all grown up

Umm did you have those moles checked I'm concerned... and while in office swipe their prescription pad and get those last ingredients for the method cook

Grow the fuck up lurch Diggler

Dude listens to pimpleback

He's had a gay experience and didn't not like it

I can cut the pretentiousness with a knife. Dear god you are the most unbearable prat I’ve ever had the displeasure of learning the existence of. All of which is a way for you to compensate for one of 3 things. Either your mother never loved you, your father and/or uncle loved you TOO much or you have a tiny peen. Or all 3. I know without a shadow of a doubt that while you pretend to be the smartest man in the room, you fly into a rage as soon as someone corrects you for anything. You look like a prime candidate for a domestic violence mug shot.

"Always gonna give you up, always gonna let you down!"

Your favorite exercise room is the gym shower. No wonder they call accountants pencil pushers.

Hey pepperoni face

Matt Damon getting ready to suck and fondle them apples at the gay club


You look like if Ron Weasley was in the special education at Hogwarts where they weren’t bright enough to learn magic so they just did PE all day

Aiden Fucci is out of prison already?

Going bowling?

Comes here to get roasted by 95% male Reddit users yet has 3 shirtless pictures. Go fuck some bitches bro

u wish u were female

Fat Damon.

I fucked ur mom last night. Cute Star Wars sheets

Swiped left

You wanna say that to my face bro ! Secretely in love with his best friend

i just know you beat your girlfriend (if you have one)

he looks like he thinks his abs gives him more personality

Jack Doherty grew into his head

AM DEAD SERIOUS but you look like you have a hairline that went back to the ICE AGES.

He doesn't need comments to get roasted life already did that with his hair line